Its always good to view things in ways different from our own. The following is not my own, but an acquaintances' point of view; one that I thought is worth exploring, considering and seeing if there is anything of value in it, for your own relationship. Check it out.
We should challenge ourselves daily with thoughts foreign to our own rutted paradigms. Its what I love about talking to people around the world on the internet and in person.
Py Kim Conant is someone I met a few years ago. She wrote a very interesting book that she was promoting then: "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha". It has some revolutionary ideas that she gleamed from studying what I might call, "Geisha technology". Some of the myths she explores below are sophisticated and require a somewhat adult orientation, so be aware of that.
I got to know her a bit online and started suggesting a local radio show to be on in Seattle. Later, I suggested the KOMO TV Afternoon show and she did get on there, too. She flew in to Seattle and we met up. Then we had dinner and hung out shopping for clothes for her TV shoot the next day. Py is an immense bundle of energy in a very tiny package, quite very entertaining to be around and I found myself smiling a lot that evening.
Py's thoughts below may seem revolutionary to some; or, counter-revolutionary, or to yet others, counter-evolutionary; but if you look at what she is saying, I think you will find some truths and a bare comment on the relationship between modern men and women that is lacking in their romantic areas. She points out some things that people just don't seem to be able to get a handle on and can't figure out why. Maybe because some or all of their basic paradigms on romantic interpersonal relationships are skewed to begin with.
Py has pointed out many of these reasons and offered ways, or given an insight on ways, that these road blocks can be worked through or in some cases, shattered. Part of the problem is t€hat we think we are so modern, so beyond certain ways of thinking, that makes up "beyond" these considerations.
The following is from Py's blog after her new book (see below also: "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man.") hit store shelves.
Py's Myths about romance....
Py's book, "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man" may seem "counter-intuitive" for most people. Py says there are common myths people believe that she wants to debunk.
Some of these may challenge your own beliefs. If that's the case, don't just shut down, considering them, see how they could fit into your understanding of relationships, and how you can make use of them. Because, they do have value. Perhaps not in the way that Py sees them, as she is Korean and from a different culture than most Americans. But many of these are tried and true by Geisha's over a period of many years. Granted it was for a Japanese and ancient culture. But that doesn't mean that you cannot alter them to fit your way of thinking, and to make use of some hybrid of them, to increase the romantic intensity of your relationship.
• Myth 1: Being very feminine is weak and submissive. Truth: It empowers a woman.
• Myth 2: It's what's inside that counts. Truth: Because men are visual, you need to be beautiful, feminine, and sexy to attract men.
• Myth 3: Feminists can't attract, satisfy, and keep a man. Truth: You can be both a feminist and a feminine-ist, a woman who values, loves, and wants to operate out of her femininity.
• Myth 4: The G-spot for female ejaculation is no big deal. Truth: Learn to female ejaculate and become a "shooter"; expand your sexual satisfaction/options.
• Myth 5: Dieting is about food. Truth: A plan (not a diet) is about two things: awareness of your weight and exercise, not food.
• Myth 6: Men and women are pretty much the same. Truth: Men and women are very different psychologically.
• Myth 7: I should wait until he asked me to marry him. Truth: Sooner-rather-than-later, you need to set deadlines.
• Myth 8: Eventually, I'll get married. Truth: To marry a Good Man you need to make love and marriage your high priority, and a plan.
• Myth 9: Men are generally very confident sexually. Truth: Men are extremely vulnerable and fragile regarding their sex lives.
• Myth 10: Men aren't comfortable with vibrators. Truth: He can love your vibrator, since you'll never give credit for your orgasm to the vibrator.
• Myth 11: I have to say "no" to my husband to sex sometimes. Truth: Never say "no" to sex to your husband. You need to arrange a date in the near future.
• Myth 12: You want to get married. Truth: You want to have a great marriage, not a great wedding.
If you want to see that her "truths" are true, check out the book, "Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man" published by Hunter House at any major bookstores nationally and at: Amazon.com.