If Jesus had Twitter....

Jesus (to Peter): did you pick the stuff up for dinner tonight? Judas is complaining you never get enough olives

Peter: Yeah, yeah, I got enough olives! Tell Judas he can suck my olive pit

Jesus: He said, you already did that for him. Whats that supposed to mean?

Peter: Oh, Elohay! I'm gonna kill that little bastard. I'd stone him but you know, he holds the purse. Who's idea was that anyway?

Jesus: Don't be such a sore Simon. Be nice to Judas. 1 day he'll do great things for us. He does manage our money, no 1 else can

Peter: Well, fine. Whatever. So, who's coming tonight

Tomorrow: Gasland. FRACing.

Jesus: Usual suspects

Peter: Will Mary be there?

Jesus: Knock it off!

Peter: I'm just asking

Jesus: Yes, she'll be there

Judas (to Peter): Did you get enough olives?

Peter (to Judas): I would have but I wasn't given enough...MONEY!

Judas (to Peter): Bitch bitch bitch