Monday, April 22, 2019

Corporate Thinking Disease, Syndrome, Disorder

Many, many, years ago America found out that intersection stop lights are not installed or changed until three death situations were recorded. Three separate accidents where deaths occurred.

At that time, we all became complicit in the "corporate thinking" models that had invaded America and most of the world through capitalist thinking..

It has invaded our schools, our government, our consideration of the 2nd Amendment, our religion, our communities, our clubs, and our homes. And our children's way of thinking, for generations now.

So that today we are so inundated with it. Where no one even sees what the problem is anymore. We are just astounded, shocked, that things are as they are in common practice. With apparently no idea what is going on. Because it has become so inherent in who we are.

We don't see how to fix most of what is wrong today. Because we are standing on a carpet of complicity and our politicians and our corporate leaders lean into it furthering our ignorance and satiation and our desire to not be responsible for any of it.

We are. And we can fix it.

WE just have to see where the problem began and know that we have to go through the pain of changing something that is now woven into the fabric of nearly everything involved in our daily lives, in our government, in our religious institutions, and in our choices.

But they are OUR choices.

What is the point? The point is that we seem incapable of proactivity.

Rather than looking at a situation, seeing it's flawed and doing something before there are deaths (or destruction of various kinds), we have got to instead wait until there are deaths or destruction (i.e., Donald Trump as POTUS, NRA such as we allowed it to become, or the current defective and destructive GOP in its current mode of failed political party and paradigm), before we ever act.

That is the mainstay of our problems today. We have got to find a way to become more aware, more intelligent and stop praising and supporting the most stupid of us and our most foolish considerations.

Greed, is not brilliance. It is Greed pure and simple.

Ignorance is not ignorance anymore, but stupidity.

Especially when, as Eric Idle put it, "It is artificial ignorance."

It is time we see how ignorant we are and why. It is time to see corporate thinking as the burden that has been placed upon us by those wishing to enrichen themselves. Even at anyone else's costs.

It is time to see that capitalism has become a disease, a syndrome, a social and mental disorder that is woven into the fabric of our nation and our daily lives.

And it is time to make changes. if we follow the current Republican party we continue on this path.

116th Congress
However, we see today in the changes in the Democratic party, with young and diverse voices, more closely adhering to the makeup of our nation today, a potential for change, and something we've been lacking for some time.


We now need to pile on top of this something else that is extremely important and dangerous to ignore.

We need to realize how close we are to barbarity, how recent our evolution has been to our modern, hard fought for society today.

How precious and delicate our democracy is. And how quickly it has been slipping away.

How quickly we can revert to old and ignorant beliefs.

Remember the story of the Handmaid's Tale. In that story, only things that humans have done before to humans has been used.

In Iran. "Iranian women are oppressed and they always have been. There was a period where they were liberated and stopped from wearing the veil, during the Pahlavi dynasty from 1925 to 1979." The Telegraph (2015)

One day in 1979 women were wearing miniskirts and the very next day they were forced to wear full body length black Burqas and hijabs. Under penalty of law.

How would you like that... tomorrow? That is what some conservatives are asking, for women to be treated to restrictions they are no longer familiar with or desire, or require.

We need to realize how directed the Republican party is to going back to the way things where when America was great, apparently, in their mind. One might argue, tiny minds.

The GOP even now has a president in Donald Trump who gets cheers when he calls out that he wants to "Make America Great, Again! "

What he is saying, what you are cheering for, is not what many of you think, and yet exactly what many of you think!

Things That American Women Could Not Do Before the 1970s:

1. Keep her job if she was pregnant.1978
2. Report cases of sexual harassment in the workplace.
The first time that a court recognized sexual harassment in the workplace was in 1977 and it wasn’t until 1980 that sexual harassment was officially defined by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

3. Be acknowledged in the Boston Marathon.1972
4. Get a credit card.1974
5. Refuse to have sex with her husband.1993
6. Compete as a boxer in the Olympics.2012
7. Get a divorce with some degree of ease.1969
8. Celebrate International Women’s Day.1980
9. Have a legal abortion in most states.1973

Make America Great, Again?

Start with correcting corporate thought all through our culture and government, social and religious institutions. 

Bottom line is...treat one another with more concern for humane treatment, than corporate or individual profit, and certainly, at any or all costs. 

Monday, April 15, 2019

Gumdrop City, My Next Short Horror Film

The reasons I retired from my career in IT was to focus on writing and selling my writings, to continue writing in new ways, to branch out, to feel free to choose my directions. But also to start making small movie productions... of my own writings.

The Rapping was a POC. To test my new equipment and my methodology. This link goes to its place on the Once A Week Online Film Festival for the week of January 2nd, 2019. So I can do it. Well, I've done it before. It's just been a while.

Cover art by Marvin Hayes
Marvin Hayes did the original cover for the ebook so you can see the character in his "Rex Harrison" hat above in the cover art.

I decided on Gumdrop City as the first production of my writings into a short film. Mostly because I could simplify things and use little f/x. Even if it is to be a prequel and not the actual story itself. But that frees me up some as it can be an origin story, and I don't have to follow exactly the previously published story. It's working title is now, "Gumdrop Sampson".

Which also sets up an interesting dynamic on several levels. Creatively, artistically, marketing wise. I've written about this story on here before.

This will be my first narrative horror film from one of my published writings. The Rapping, is an Attic Tale, written expressly for filming it. As was the as yet unproduced film before it, Garage Tales. As I've moved houses since then and no longer have a standalone garage (or an attic), my next might be in that similar vein as, a Basement Tale. Or not.

Selling your writings is like trying to get unknown others to desire a certain drop of water in a lake of so very many others. Or from an ocean. Or so it feels anyway.

Producing your own works is like creating that lake yourself. Perhaps starting with a puddle for others to access, rather than merely a drop. Hopefully, an entertaining puddle. One that unknown others may desire. Who does not have to take from an ocean or a lake, but perhaps just a good sized pond.

Some of it is in your own mental image, in your efforts. Some are in your discovered reality.

An ocean: Google Books estimates that there are about 130 million books in existence. If you double that, it's probably more than enough to cover all the books that ever existed. UNESCO estimates that about 2 million books are published worldwide each year, but that includes older books as well as new ones.

A pond: It has been estimated that there are approximately 500,000 movies (of narrative fiction feature-length, theatrical-cinema films) currently in existence (Vogel 2011, p. 102).

Nothing really grisly will be in the film prequel of Gumdrop City, that's in the short story, the ebook, and Anthology of Evil, version. Eventually, there will also be an audiobook version of the original story. My hope for the ending of the film is to lead to a disturbing and satiating conclusion while setting up the sequel of the published short story.

I had also worked on Gumdrop City as a feature film length production with a producer in Hollywood a few years ago. We fleshed out the storyline. In that version, we added some characters and more storyline. While I liked this story for a film project, the producer liked another idea I had of a traveling angel.

Perhaps that story is now even more apropos than it seemed back then around 2011. I'll eventually get back around to it. Kind of a good feeling Frank Capra type story, only with more of an edge.

One that America may need more now than ever before.

As I indicated this film will be a prequel of Sampson in Gumdrop City, the weird old guy trope in your neighborhood that the kids (and adults) fear or at least, shy away from.

And no, it's not an autobiography.

It IS, however, a true crime story I had first fictionalized in college after hearing the story in our popular and sometimes disturbing abnormal psych class at WWU. We all walked out of that class that day with a bit of dread and disgust. And I knew I had to write it as a horror story.

Tom Remick, my voice actor, is set to act the lead role. Should be pretty easy physically, in that he has to act like a somewhat hobbled, weird old man. Typecasting? No, I assure you. Tom is a great and compassionate guy. But he's looking forward to playing the role. It's easy to relish playing a character that is very different from your own personality or experiences.

As this is a prequel, things may evolve between this project and the published version. So if he lives one place in the film, that may change before the story timeline.

I am still working on the first draft of the screenplay, but it's coming along nicely. Tom is reading the short story this weekend and we'll get together this week to talk. he found a "Rex Harrison" hat at a store this week. We still need a tattered tweed suit jacket. And a burlap bag. And maybe, a teddy bear.

Yeah, see? You can already see this is descending into madness. But it should be, I don't know, if not fun, entertaining.

This is the fun part for me, the creative process. I'm making it as simple and effective as I can. There will be humor in it. Weirdness. And in the end hopefully, if I can pull it off, horror. And in that should come the fun for horror aficionados.

And in the end? I hope to have a viable film to submit to film festivals. If I can get it done in time, and I believe I can, I will even be able to submit it to our own local film festival here that I was among other things, a judge in during last year's first-ever Gorst Underground Film Festival.

We're looking forward to another great and second annual festival later this year. I had a blast and met some great new people. Like "Man in Camo" Ethan Minsker from New York and his awesome documentary.

Also, there is the next town over the festival which actually begins May 3rd: The Port Orchard Film Festival. And those here in the Pacific Northwest as well as others around the world.

I will also be at Crypticon Seattle that weekend of May 3rd at the Doubletree Inn in SeaTac. I've been to two now but not for a couple of years now. I also was at the first ever Seattle ZomBcon which was a blast and it's second year. Just a few years ago I'd never been to a convention all my life and now within a couple of weeks, I'll have been to five within a few years. I have my friend and horror filmmaker Kelly Hughes to thank for that.

I even got to meet and have a heartfelt conversation with actor Lance Henriksen last time, just standing at the latte bar one morning at the Hilton SeaTac hotel. We got to hang out and talk alone for a while and I tell you, that's the way to meet these celebrities. What a sweet guy but so scary on screen. And he was just one of those I got to meet and hang out with. These things can be a great deal of fun.

Being able now to show up as an actual filmmaker and not just a writer, author, and mere screenwriter should be a lot of fun. So if you should happen to go, I'll keep an eye out for you!


Monday, April 8, 2019

Not Raising Rapists

I really don't get this need to train guys on sexual harassment and rape. Maybe the harassment side, but rape? Really? What is it about "No" that isn't "No"? What happened to just being a gentleman? Drunk or not.

If a girl is too drunk to make a decision, make it for her, err on the side of caution. Walk, the hell, away! Come back another day when she is fully involved in her decision to have sex with you. Feel like a jerk if you are trying to get sex and she isn't into you. Even if she is taunting you or being a complete bitch, be a Man for God's sake (for your's and for her's).

Isn't having sex with a girl, too drunk to move, kind of like necrophilia? What's next? You going to ask (more likely pay) a girl to lie in a tub full of ice and then have sex with you while not moving and barely breathing?

Not to mention, have you advanced to using date rape drugs yet? So basically, you're into having sex with dead girls. Are we experiencing a rash of spawning necrophiliacs?

Yes, your actions do define who and what you are.

Being a "Man" doesn't mean getting sex ANY way possible. It means taking the high and more difficult road tempered with some degree of class and manners. It means giving her an environment and experience where she enjoys it (and you), so much that she WANTS to have sex with you. See, SHE gets to enjoy it too; not just you, you jerk.

All that being said, Ladies, when you say No and you mean yes, you are setting yourself up. Be damn sure you know you both know, just what's going on. This "No-for-Yes" thing really is best with someone you're in a relationship with, Right?

I've experienced this one myself and it can be pretty frustrating. What the hell DOES she want? Let's face it, it takes acting to convey that meaning clearly and some people just aren't that good of an actor, regardless what they want.

But what percentage are we looking at in this for overall rapes,, the No-for-Yes" thing. Very little I'm pretty sure.

Yes there certainly are women who claim rape later on, when really it wasn't at all. But I suspect in all the alleged rapes, those are far fewer than the reality of real rapes (no not "legitimate" rapes, I'm actually talking about actual or not actual rapes). When a woman yells rape and she knows very well it's not, that is not a real rape, okay? That's what I'm referring to here.

Still, I suspect we do need some kind of sexual harassment training for women too, not just for men, and obviously not the same kind of training because from a woman's point of view and position in life, they have a somewhat different set of rules to deal with.

Though it's obvious that there are many more male abusers, let's not ignore a viable complaint just because of that. There actually are things women do (could not do, or could do to help things) that could alleviate some of these issues. But those are minor things compared to out and out rape. I'm afraid that one, is on the guys doing it.

Rape as we all know is really about control, about power issues. There are always going to be some rapists just do to their own physical limitations in how their brains work. But that doesn't mean we can't learn and make changes to decrease the amount of men who obviously can't handle their situation and so rape out of a need or desire that shouldn't be there in the first place.

It takes practice and a foundation to know what to do rather than rape someone. So it would seem that there are many men who are being raised in an environment, or culture, that trains them in such a way, or allows them the thoughts that they can alleviate their discomforts by way of controlling and sexually abusing a woman. When you see groups as we've seen recently in India, it becomes quit obvious there is more going on here than someone's brain composition or home environment. It's a cultural thing.

Perhaps we really need the men being given sexual harassment training to share those classes with women. Not to humiliate the men but to open their eyes. We need to grow compassion in them, somehow. But that really is something that needs to start as a child.

Families need to empower their children. Some communities need to be less restrictive and punitive. And religions are always going to be a problem and a burden for their restrictions that simply for many of them, are unrealistic in these open times.

Dear America, liberals, progressives, and abusive conservatives weaponizing these issues against those people... please do not conflate communication and proximity issues with those of sexual abuse and predation.

As it actually is in Donald Trump, and so many actual sex abusers so frequently exposed on the conservative and religious side of things where it shouldn't exist according to their own professed beliefs.

Don't be a Trump who actually is the things he accuses others of being in calling THEM lars, or stupid, or in being abusive so he dilutes the meaning of those things for when he does them in his attempts to normalize and obfuscate. For his own benefit.
We're better than that or we should be and we need to be smarter than that. Save your anger for the real situations.

Frottage can be disgusting but it is not date rape or violent rape. Even more distant issues are not those of frottage or rape.

If we don't keep that appropriately in our minds and social discourse, we're going to cause a lot more problems that we really don't want to see in the first place.

Even at times where it does not exist.

I worry as do others about this proximity issue, about the range of sexual harassment or unwanted sexual intention, or unwanted proximity.

There ARE degrees.

From what I've seen and heard, the Joe Biden and even Al Franken issues are not the Donald Trump or a rapist on campus issues,

Perhaps we shouldn't look at this as sexual situation unless they definitely are. Even in some rape situation while there is no issue of sex being involved there is one of consent and understanding, or can be.

Sex, magnifies everything.

But what much of this really is, is about communication.

Women are tired of communications, especially sexual communication being a one-way street where they either have no say in it historically, or they are supposed to be quiet about it.

When all they really want is a say in a social dynamic between two (or sadly at times) more people.

Because communication is a two-way street and they are reasonably quite tired of it being their job of being the silent receiver, especially in situations where one has power over the other as in a boss/employee dynamic. Where one has power and the other is instantly in a precarious position and unable to speak up.

Because seeing this as a communication issue would eliminate some of the confusion in some of these situations as it doesn't put the woman on a shaky standing and if a man (or other) doesn't abuse him either, if that happens to actually be the situation.

We obviously haven't been communicating properly and it's time to be sure about that and readjust our dynamic.

Look, some people are just abusive. Donald Trump comes to mind. Rapists in and out of prison also.

But then there is an entire group who simply have poor communication skills and to claim sexual harassment when it is not

Does Having A Child Change You, Asked Boyd Crowder

Just watching the last season of Justified and something was said, that got me thinkin'.

Character Boyd Crowder asked US Deputy Marshall Raylan Givens:

"Does having a child change you?"

Raylan took a moment to think about it.

And so did I. I paused the show. It got me to thinking back.

Back to about a year and a half after my son was born. I was driving down the street, alone. I can remember it like it was yesterday. So I must have thought about it many times since then. Plus, I can see myself driving in this memory, so it's not an original memory.

I was thinking: if I have a kid now (I did) and considering some of the ill feelings I have about having been a kid myself, perhaps I should consider knocking off the wild stuff in my life? Now I hadn't done any wild stuff for a while since before he was born anyway. But the future was unfolding as I thought about it and I knew quite clearly just who I was. And what I might want to do at some point or other. Add some excitement to my life. Do something fun, dangerous.

Still, because of my own childhood, I did have an unusually strong consideration of responsibility about things. Most especially, toward children. And more so, toward my own.

Film audition headshot of myself around the time my son was born
So I decided in that very moment, surprising even myself, that my life would have to change where much of my "crazy" was not going to be allowed to be active any longer in my life. Because I felt I should be there.

At least until he grows up and moves out. But even then decades after, when it might be nice for him to have a dad around. My hope? That I die first, before my child. As every parent does. But then, he had my genes. And his mother's. Good grief. She was even wilder than I was, in ways other than I had chosen.

See, I had myself two dads. I grew up with my mother and my step-father. But neither dad figured much in my life. One ignored me as he had remarried and had eleven kids. My stepdad seemed to hate me. My mother said he was jealous of me. Weird. Just, weird. In some ways in my own mind, they did have some relevance in my life. But not in their active, positive and daily influences on me. Not really so much in reality.

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is... about that question? "Does having children change you?" That is really a loaded question. At least two issues about it now immediately come to my mind.

Yes, my son, who was an exhausting, but awesome kid
One is that day when you change and take the responsibility, not just for your kid. Which hopefully you did some nine months before they were born. But also for yourself and how YOU fit into THEIR lives.

Now we get into question number two, what people mostly mean about, "Does having a child change you?"

In the daily activity (and misery, and joy) of raising a child, that bonding, that restrictiveness of action and motion, and desire, that downside and then that upside...all eventually come together. Should, come together.

Eventually, you start to see the upside more and try to laugh at or ignore the downsides. You begin to enjoy a laugh, read things into what the kid does, start to play with them on their level. Or manipulate them into having fun and giving you a laugh.

Essentially and unknowingly, programming yourself into what they call, bonding with the child. Something hopefully you have also and already done along with your child's other parent. But they are on their own journey, along with you, and along without you. Childrearing can at times be a very lonely thing.

And so too I realized, that I had indeed finally bonded with our child. I hadn't been ready to be a parent, you see. I wasn't sure I ever wanted to be a parent. Though I knew I wanted to have an offspring some day. But I questioned if I ever should propagate, or endeavor to raise a child. My childhood had been pretty messed up. Did I want to pass that along? Would I?

Now some people do bond quickly, even immediately. Some weirdly, ahead of time. Others? Well, it takes a while. Some never do bond. Or ever take responsibility to change their lifestyle. All when it's really all about the child.

And if you don't get that? Well, puppy dog, YOU (and a friend presumably) brought THEM into this world. Sorry, it IS YOUR responsibility. Your responsibilities.

Just like if the government puts you in jail. You are now their responsibility and the things you can no longer do, they now have the responsibility for, to take care of, and to pay for, YOU.

But for your child? That doesn't mean protecting them to their point of paranoia (or breaking), either. Because you have to let them live, to fail, to become prepared for actual, LIFE. To be able to think their way out of, if not at least a wet paper bag, of any of life's future and traumatic situations they may come upon.

So when someone asks, "Does having a child change you?" The answer is two-fold. At very least. So know that.

Of course, you don't have to answer both parts publically. But you do have to know that both are there to be answered. So do know it. Do know, them. And address it all. Let that full change happen to you. Evolve.

Because really, it may be the most productive thing you can do. For yourself. Certainly for the child. And perhaps one could argue, even more important than either of you, for society at large. As well as for History. Even before it's been made.

So? Does having a child change you?

You're god damned right it does.

Even if you run away, never to see that child again? Yes, even that, just changed you.

Just go the other direction. You'll be glad you did. And so will someone else.

Including all the rest of us.

With my son many years ago...

#BoydCrowder #child, #childrearing, #Children, #dad, #father, #fatherhood, #Justified, #kids, #maturity, #parenthood, #raising,


Monday, April 1, 2019

Twitch - The Nikolas Hayes Channel

Do you play computer games? Do you know Assassin's Creed Odyssey, for instance? If you've ever played some of these games you know you can get stumped, frustrated. You can read about them, follow posts about them. Try to learn the hints and tips for how to get through a game or just through an especially difficult part. But there's another way. You also know it's fun and can be informative to watch some others play.

Heard of the streaming site Twitch? It lets you do all of that. You can follow people, some who are very good players and, in real time. There is a CNBC article on how some of these players can even make six figures on Twitch. ... Twitch is a live streaming video platform owned by Twitch Interactive, a subsidiary of Amazon.[3] Introduced in June 2011 as a spin-off of the general-interest streaming platform,, the site primarily focuses on video game live streaming, including broadcasts of eSports competitions, in addition to music broadcasts, creative content, and more recently, "in real life" streams. Content on the site can be viewed either live or via video on demand. - Wikipedia
You can watch on your phone, tablet, laptop or home computer. Some of the gamers put their video recordings of live play on their Youtube channels. Or you can just follow thing in real time, listening to their live commentary. Even talking to them.

Twitch console
It's an interesting experience. There are quite a few channels on Twitch to follow, to jump into and follow their live play. Then leap to another user, or game. I found one lifelong experienced player who is somewhat new to Twitch. So I contacted him. He literally won his first computer game as an infant, playing a very simple computer game back in 1988. The year he was born. It's not that he's a savant. He just happened to win that day. But it makes for an interesting legacy as a true story...for a gamer. 

I watched some of the big time players and that was fun. But it's interesting to watch some of the not so big players, too. Not big because they've not been on Twitch for that long and so don't have a big following. Yet.

There's something exciting about finding someone before everyone else does. To be one of the first. 
What you get either way though, is insight to not only gameplay but also to the life of a gamer and... it can be quite fascinating. 

So I followed Nikolas Hayes' channel. Nikolas also has some of his videos of live play up on his Nikolas Hayes Youtube channel. There you can watch some of his past sessions, going up to four hours or longer. Also, you can follow him on his TwitterSteam and Instagram accounts and there's more on his Twitch profile. He currently has up on Youtube some of his Assassin's play (one is almost six hours of initial playthrough), Middle-Earth (2.5 hours of play), Mass Effect (nearly five hours of play), and others.

Young Gamer Nikolas
His Twitch channel says:

"Hello and welcome! I am the owner of Forethought United (art+science) and love gaming. So I just started streaming with spare time when not hanging out with the love of my life or family/friends.

"On my twitch stream, there are adventures in single player games to be had, plus some multiplayer. But my ADD.kind of takes me all over. Looking at various aspects of different games to see and show what they have to offer for new worlds and mechanics to interact with. As I said I do some multiplayer games but not a lot. Although the overall list is heavy on single player. But it's fairly varied. The channel does have mature content so just stay strong. I hope you enjoy the journey. I look forward to talking with everyone that joins in! Safe travels and have an amazing day!"

Like I said, I got together with Nikolas to ask a few questions. I've not included everything but here are some you may find interesting...

High School Nikolas
 Tell me a bit about yourself, Nikolas. What brought you to Twitch?

Today's gamer interview, Nikolas Hayes
A: I’m a new Twitch streamer, mostly streaming single player and I dabble in multiplayer periodically. I like to have an open-minded stream with people of all kinds that can hang out and chat while watching the many worlds that unfold in the games. I’d say that’s what brought me to Twitch, too. Having some company in my favorite hobby.

Q: What games do you stream?

A: There tends to be a lot of open world and sandbox. I love the ability to have a whole world that I can jump into. And watching the consequences of the choices and actions from whatever I do in that world, come to life. I love seeing people’s stories unfold and help untangle complex situations like saving a multiverse, all the way to fetching a lost donkey. Whether it’s science fiction, fantasy, or anything in between, it’s the ability to immerse into a new world and interact with many outcomes that I love so much. And, games are art that you can play with!

Nikolas and his dad, early 90s
Q: It seems like you enjoy games. When did you first play a video game?

A: My dad began teaching me when I was about six months old, back when MS-DOS was the operating system. I've also been into playing musical instruments for as long as I can remember. And I was into art nearly from day one. Learning a keyboard for me was just, natural. My dad was a computer expert (to be brief about it) and wanted me to start young. My first computer was a terminal and metal keyboard from an old mainframe. It was so tough I could beat on it as a child and not hurt it. But it would display green numbers and letters on the screen. So before I knew what I was doing, I was experiencing computers as a natural extension of myself. On an actual PC, I remember using a paint program, Commander Keen, Cosmos Cosmic Adventure, Doom, Duke Nukem, and all kinds of things. Including Pong and Centipede! One of my favorites though was the Windows 95 spaceship demo disk. That kept me up many a night with all the fun games to check out as a new gamer. Mostly I’ve played PC but I’ve also got an Xbox 360 and used to have a PS2. I grew up with that and a Sega. Go Sonic! As an adult, I was a lead on a video game testing team including Microsoft games for several years. Also including working on a NASA sim.

Q: When do you usually stream?

A: Lately it tends to be around 7am-12pm Monday through Thursday. But it can swap to nights on those same days depending on how work schedules are. I tend to do a lot of other things like running my company Forethought United. We are currently working on the online store to start selling digital copies of our art. Currently brought to you by Marvin Hayes. Amazing works of art!

Q: What is the latest game you have been streaming. What do you most like about it?

A: Lately I’ve been streaming Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, a sequel to Assassin’s Creed Origins. I would say it’s the best of the newest Assassin’s Creed games of the series. Right next to Black Flag and AC3. They kept a lot of features from Origins and refined them while adding a lot of new mechanics. I love that they are doing a good job of adding myth into a fresh new storyline that follows after AC Origins. I’m going to take my time on this one. Especially since I got it on sale when it was $23 down from $60. Although, if I had the money I would have still bought it at $60 for what an amazing job they did!

Q: Last question. Any thoughts or comments for closing?

A: I just wanted to say thank you for your time and hanging out. It’s awesome fun talking to people in and out of the entertainment industry and I like your writings! Especially Death of heaven. Certainly paints a picture, just with the title. I also hope to bring some solid and enjoyable content with my new stream and see how things build in the future. I love connecting with new streamers to see what is going on around the world. It’s a fascinating place! Thanks again and...have an amazing day. Hope to talk to you soon!

So there you have it! Thanks to Nikolas for taking the time to answer some question and best of luck to him on his Twitch and in all his endeavors! I suspect we may be hearing more from Nikolas Hayes in the future. Remember that name!

Game on! Cheers!

#twitch #ps #gaming #gamer #fortnite #xbox #youtube #playstation #videogames #streamer #twitchstreamer #pc #games #xboxone #game #blackops #memes #pubg #fortnitememes #bo #battleroyale #cod #callofduty #meme #follow #twitchtv #ninja #stream #fortniteclips #bhfyp #interview #NikolasHayes

Monday, March 25, 2019

I Had Far Too Much to Dream That Night...

The other day I woke in a rather interesting dream. I say "in" and not "from" for a reason. I admit, it was kind of fun. Though some wouldn't have seen it that way at all. I am a horror and sci fi, and speculative fiction writer and screenwriter.

But this tale, is 100% true. It happened. And it was disturbing.

Also true is that since I first studied screenwriting at university, by the time I graduated my dreams had changed, had become much more cohesive, more linear, more interesting and much more affecting. At times scarier, and definitely with more impact.

This recent dream was reinforced by a couple of things from the night before. One being a sinus headache, so my grounding, in reality, was, pain. I've found that pain really enhances a nightmare. It was probably from a bit of a hangover in having had a good time and a few Hale's Supergoose ales at Bremerton's Hale's Barrelhouse up the street from home with some friends.

My other thing was immobility, sleep paralysis. A normal function of sleep. Unless you wake up during it. Which has terrified human beings from the beginning of time, and has led to beliefs in all kinds of bizarre things. Including religious beliefs. Demonic beliefs. And fears in a variety of areas.

Over Bremerton by JZ Murdock
It became all mixed up. I was dreaming, I was sleeping, I was waking. It was actually time for me to wake up. But not in the dream. Where it was the middle or early part of my sleep period. I was in bed too, in that dream, Where I was thinking in my dream about ethereal monsters in my attic. I was thinking I was dreaming, and dreaming I was thinking, in my dream. Yeah. Like that.

There was a feeling of others in the dream house being fearful of whatever it was in the attic. As for me, I was concerned about it, but wasn't afraid enough to not go to sleep. Though deep down, there was a kind of terror in my psyche, about it.

The dream was also continuing in some form from a previous dream, and I think some of the set up in my mind was being generated in the moment as this dream, or part of this dream, kicked into play. I know, this wasn't your normal dream. Or maybe it's just me in general. And I will not argue with you about that.
Above my bed was a ceiling light of a type where there is a dark space around the actual light. I felt I could see up into the attic when usually these are set in cylinders that seal off the room from the attic. In reality, I was lying in my bed in my dream, staring at that dark spot around the turned off light, expecting to see something move, something...horrific. I did not, however, see that. Not at all.

I then realized something took hold of my entire body as I was frozen in place, unable to move. In my slowly waking mind, juxtaposed with this dream, this nightmare, quite on the edge of a night terror, I could recognize that I was most likely waking up and in that frozen stage of sleep which is the thing of fear and mythology, as I said previously, throughout human history.

photo by JZ Murdock
I was teetering on the edge of dream and reality. Ruminating on that very same thing, within the dream state. The hope being that this was just that, a dream on the edge of waking.

Yet deep down I had this fear of the "monster in the attic". The Demon. The Terror.

I told myself, "This is a dream. Of course, you can't move because it is a natural condition of a stage of sleep. Nothing to worry about. Enjoy the ride!"

Still, deeper inside? There was the child within me. Bordering on terror. I could "see" a monster watching me from the attic, in my mind's eye. But I leaned into the fear. Then back out into reality.

Still, I could not move.

Then it happened. The fear I had been pushing down, a fear that something would happen to shift my safety out of reality, from it being "just a dream", to it being real and solid so that I was wrong, and this was not just a dream. Not by any means.

The hole and the light above me... shifted. As if in a cartoon, the light fixture, the access hole to the attic, with the terror beyond living beyond it, moved, smoothly, slowly, along the ceiling,

I noticed a sound, seemingly drifting down, coming from the attic above the ceiling. It sounded like a mosquito. A very large mosquito. A buzzing. But lower, slower as it moved across the ceiling.

As it started at the center of the ceiling, it had moved to the wall. It then began to slide down the wall. I could see it. But still, I could not move. I tried to shift my shoulders. But nothing happened.

I was grinning inside, somewhere. Thinking to myself, about what a roller coaster ride this nightmare was turning into. But also at a more primal state within, I was considering, "what if this wasn't a dream after all?"

What if, I may actually about to be attacked? Killed? Or worse?

I waited for the hole to stop sliding down the wall. What else could I do? I knew absolutely, that when it stopped, something was going to be coming out of that hole. Somehow. If it could do this unreal behavior, surely something large and terrible could come out of that tiny orifice?

The closer the hole got to the center of the side wall next to the bed, the more the immediacy of my need to escape became. I started to struggle, to force control of my body to return. I went through this for what seemed like forever. Struggling for control. Freezing for a moment, watching that cursed moving hole. Then struggling again.

I thought, if or when the hole stopped, surely nothing would happen. It was, after all, "just a dream." My entire belief system shifted then, knowing that once that hole stopped, that it was POSSIBLE, quite possible that I would be indeed be attacked! Maimed! Killed! Or worse! I contemplated what could be worse....

Then I relaxed. I tried to force my belief that I was safe, mere in a dream. But the possibility of being wrong leaped up into my throat and grabbed me!

Did I really want to take that risk? Chance that this was just "a silly thing"? Flashbacks to others within the dream's pre-dream, those unknowns who were so terrified of the reality of what was in the attic and my own proof now that they were correct and it would be my miserable demise. A heavyweight of fear filled the room, crushing me in my bed, in my mind.

Graphic from The Unwritten novella, by JZ Murdock

Finally, I just went for it. Moving side to side, I tried to lift my arms, from the shoulders, using my body as my arms were immobile. I kept it up until I could move. I broke through the other side...I opened my eyes and...I was surprised to find the ceiling light above me. In reality. But it was an entirely different kind of light fixture, proving quite clearly that it had all been, just a dream.

I lie there for a few moments. Internally grinning at myself. At my foolishness. Telling myself, "See? All along you fool? It was... just a dream."

What a way to wake up, to start my day. What could possibly go wrong, or worse, than that? Through the entirety of this bright new day? I thought this through the relief of reality and the pain of my sinus headache. A throbbing I did not mind much as it helped me to wake, to distance myself from what had seemed so very real. Even as it seemed such a nightmare.

And my next thought? That I should write this experience up.

And so, here we are.

Hi! I hope you have a great and pleasant day!

Cheers! I'm so very happy to be here, now.

#horror #dream #nightmare #nightterror #macabre #sleep #sleepparalysis #fiction #murder #monster #EAPoe #Poe #unReality

Monday, March 18, 2019

A Defectively Conservative Status Quo

If you think you're a "Conservative" you then have to ask yourself, are you for conserving resources, or the status quo? Because they are not one in the same. And resources doesn't just mean water, the environment, etc.

Def of Conservative: 1. "Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change."

First of all, tending to oppose change is nuts. But ignoring that for now....

In a way it really doesn't matter which you are for because to do either effectively typically requires not only being a progressive, (or some use the more derogatory term, liberal) but also evoking change. To spout a couple of pleasing platitudes, "the one thing after all that never changes is change itself". One could say that "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results."

If in order to maintain things as they are in an ever-changing environment, like the world we live in, if it requires you to do the same thing over and over again, you yourself would then evoke change and thus cut yourself off from your own desires as to what you believe you stand for. Confusing? Counter intuitive? Maybe. That's in part what confuses most conservative mindsets.

It also leaves the rest of us as we are now, wondering just what in the Hell it is you are trying to do. Because you are saying one thing and doing something else. Yes, it looks like you are doing the same as always, but it's not bringing about the same change. Look at the current state of the GOP. They're useless at this point and have been for some time now. Longer than you would think, actually. There may be some outside influences. Russian come to mind. Greed and capitalism also.

This is the primary reason there is such a problem with Conservatives, today. What they are trying to be and to do are counter-intuitive and typically they have trouble thinking in that way. Because it's hard and it's complicated, two things diametrically opposed to what they want their world to be.

We have got to be more than we are being. To think better, more, more out of the box, more...creatively. More, progressively. For some dullards? Yes, more liberally. But more intelligently, also.

What have YOU done each day, in a creative or artistic way? I'm not talking about a poem, or painting a picture. I'm talking about your job, your day, your rut, if you will.

IF we all paid attention to acting more creative, more artistic, incorporating that into our lives, actions and thoughts, I suspect this would be a far better world for us all. It would bring more creative solutions to our lives. More, functional solutions.

You don't even have to actually DO anything creative.

Just start building those muscles to be and think in creative, and artistic ways of thinking.

This corporate form of thought we have allowed ourselves to be lulled into for so very long now, at times beaten down into, before any of us were even alive, has dulled us as thinking beings and as a nation.

A conservative knee jerk reaction would be to question not using "tried and true" methodologies. There is some truth in that. But to use them intelligently, even creatively. To apply them again, when they have already failed, especially to claim they haven't failed, when they have, is lunacy.


Some new technologies have even aided us in this. They have seen this, the crippling effects of corporations on people and have tried to be creative in their endeavors.

Things like "Don't be evil" a motto used within Google's corporate code of conduct.

But we need more and today with there being no money for anyone, unless you're rich (where's all that money?), where people need two, three or more jobs just to make do? We need creativity, we need even artistic solutions.

Not art or creativity for it's own sake to use up more money for "pretty", but for productive forward momentum, for real-world solutions and not just the same old fast, cheap, profit, profit, profit thinking...corporate thinking, which also includes showering CEO types with millions, or billions that should really be going elsewhere.

Don't think conservatively. Don't think like a corporation, like a brain dead capitalist dedicated only to profit and not humanity. Wisdom is knowledge and experience, not just what has been done, and so we need to think no more.

Be creative. Be productive. But do it not just for your boss, your corporation, your job, rather for yourselves (not just, yourSELF), for your group, OUR country, and humanity at large. And yes, even for those who do not look or sound or act like you.

Yes, even for your "enemies" and for conservatives, because in our actions here and now, in thinking in new ways, they may one day become our friends.

One can only hope.

Creative thinking
A word of caution: There are many ways to use creative thinking. Find the ones that best fit the structure of your brain/mind structure. But test to be sure it's the most effective it can be. Do not fall into the logic traps and dead ends we see so much in society today.