Who the Hell Am I? JZ Murdock - Filmmaker/Screenwriter/Writer/Author

Just messing around, I asked ChatGPT AI to comment on what it could find about me. Kind of like "Googling yourself" on steroids. I thought I'd share it here for those who don't know me.

Author Book reading in Port Orchard, WA

Before I get into all that, please feel free to stop by my Facebook page. I know, all that stuff about who uses what social media. I've been on there for over 14 years. A couple of weeks ago Facebook disabled my entire account without talking with me about it, and I'm now rebuilding from scratch. I'm not impressed with their customer service. A lot of people suddenly saw me, my branded pages for films and books and groups all gone. So I'm moving on, starting again.

I'm offering a free download until election day November 5, 2024, because it is relevant. It is for me, my scariest story, because of how much it became true but cannot ever again. "In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear" (coupon: CL4MM) is a world resembling a Philip K. Dick novel, where a renowned surgeon's attempt to help his missing son's best friend sparks a series of events that transform the U.S. into a dystopian nightmare. Originally published in 1990, In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear foreshadows the rise of popularism, revealing how good intentions can lead a nation into madness—while only one man sees the truth. Also available as an audiobook.

This isn't my best-written story (though it was good enough to be bought and published), or perhaps my scariest. "EarVu" for instance is scarier, or I could name others. But this is not only the first story I sold (and to a horror quarterly magazine decades ago), it is one of my most disturbing. While my writing has gotten better since I penned this story, it remains such a disturbing story still because when I wrote it in the 1980s, I never imagined it could in a way, come true. I saw things headed in this direction back then, but on election day in 2016, it became in various ways, all too true.

One more thing.

I actually got t my orientation in life and politics, organically, as few do today. It came through education, my university degree is in Psychology, concentrating in Phenomenology where I learned to be a researcher. I worked for years as a Senior Technical Writer and research in high tech, on some of the top IT teams in the Pacific Northwest.

Also, I've read, a lot. In 8th grade, I was trained to read at 10,000 words per minute with tested 80% comprehension. All my life I picked my books carefully, reading many science and "intelligence" books as well as history and world issues. Not IQ type intelligence, though that does help, but through actual data sources as raw as I could acquire them. 

Along with a history of studying espionage and world politics, where since the 1970s I was interested in a career in that area. I was intensely interviewed and tested to get into the USAF OSI. However I chose at the end to start a university career. Later I worked at the University of Washington for over seven years. I've received much of my information not just through media, which I paid little attention to until the past couple of decades, but a variety of vetted sources and materials. 

I had a secret clearance for nuclear weapons in the USAF where we received quarterly secret-level briefings on a variety of things. Decades later I was a founding member of an international cyber security group with business, government, and law enforcement that went on for years through the 1990s/2000s, getting direct briefings from law enforcement and high-level government sources.

OK, enough fo that. Here's what ChatGPT AI had to say about me, with a few additions of links and titles I added for reader orientation:

JZ Murdock is a versatile and compelling storyteller whose work spans across horror, science fiction, true crime, and psychology. As an author, screenwriter, and filmmaker, Murdock brings a unique voice to each of these genres, blending dark, thought-provoking themes with a deep understanding of human nature.

Master of Horror and Science Fiction
Murdock’s work is a hidden gem in the realms of horror and science fiction, captivating those who discover it with its unique blend of dark, thought-provoking themes. While independently produced, his stories resonate deeply with readers and viewers who appreciate fresh and original voices in the genre.

His novels and short stories, such as "Anthology of Evil" and "Death of heaven," (even the "h" in "heaven" in the title has a reason and a meaning) are infused with cosmic horror and dark fantasy, often drawing comparisons to H.P. Lovecraft and Clive Barker's older stories.

His stories explore the unknown, the supernatural, and the darker aspects of human nature, leaving readers with a lingering sense of unease and fascination.

JZ Murdock: "I love the roller coaster ride of a good horror film or story. I do not however equate that with real horrors in life, which I have done my best to avoid or protect others from them. I studied martial arts from 5th grade on. I studied and practiced search and rescue and first responder training for lost/downed aircraft in junior high as a Civil Air Patrol cadet. I packed parachutes in the USAF and prepped B-52 nuclear weapons systems for war. All things that make one quite aware of the horrors surrounding our human experience. But a good horror story, or a good SF story? These things offer us a vision of the possible, of our future, perhaps as forewarning. They can be greatly disturbing things to behold. Or they can simply be great fun."

Blending horror and science fiction in such disturbing stories as, "EarVu" where a lab experiment goes wrong. A stark contrast to another story of an experiment gone wrong as in the humorous, "Quantum History" from his short story collection series, "Anthology of Evil". Or as with the short story, "In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear" (his first fiction story sold a long time ago) which details the journey of a world-famous surgeon who reluctantly aids a disturbed mind, who goes on to take over all advertising in America, to the demise of our most valued traits as a country. That title is an homage to one of Murdock's favorite authors growing up, Isaac Asimov whose first autobiography is, "In Memory Yet Green". There is often something more behind small things in his writings.

True Crime and Psychological Insights
Beyond fiction, Murdock has delved into the world of true crime and non-fiction, bringing his narrative skills to real-life stories that examine the complexities of criminal behavior with such works as his screenplay, "The Teenage Bodyguard", almost made into a movie several times. Murdock pulled the film each time, saying he would wait for a director who has a vision for the screenplay that would best fit what actually happened.

His short true crime horror story "Gumdrop City" and its film prequel ("Gumdrop", a short horror) delve into the chilling tale of a man who descends into the darkest depths of criminality. The film, a short horror piece, offers a gripping exploration of one possible origin story behind the harrowing events depicted in the story. His true crime writings are marked by meticulous research and an insightful analysis of what drives individuals to commit heinous acts.

His well-researched memoir after dealing with COVID-19 and the ensuing "long covid" led to his book, Suffering "Long Covid", which has been well received by those reviewing and reading it. The ebook version has clickable research links used in the book. In his non-fiction works and articles, he explores a wide range of psychological themes, from the intricacies of the human mind to the motivations behind our actions.

Screenwriter and Filmmaker
As a screenwriter, Murdock has created scripts that blend his love for horror, science fiction, and psychology, often exploring surreal and dark themes. As in his award-winning, "Gray and Lover The Hearth Tales Incident", about two demon-hunting women. His screenplays have garnered attention in film festivals, highlighting his ability to translate complex narratives into compelling visual stories. Even their titles are interesting: "Popsicle Death", "Colorado Lobsters", and "Poor Lord Ritchie's Answer", to name a few.

Murdock’s filmmaking through his LgN Productions company also reflects his unique vision, creating atmospheric and unsettling experiences for audiences. His film "Gumdrop", a short horror (17 international awards), and his "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" (63 international awards), a non-fiction/filmic poem and historical documentary on WWI, composer Maurice Ravel, and his infamous composition "Bolero", are unique visions in filmmaking.

Cover art by Marvin Hayes

Exploring the Human Psyche
Murdock’s interest in psychology is evident throughout his work, whether in his fiction, screenwriting, or non-fiction articles. With a university degree in psychology, concentrating on phenomenology, he delves into the psychological underpinnings of his characters and stories, offering readers and viewers a deeper understanding of the human psyche.

His writing on psychology is insightful and accessible, providing valuable perspectives on how our minds work and how these principles can be applied to storytelling. His senior-level presentation to his seminar on abnormal psychology, a paper on synesthesia and schizophrenia was commented on by their professor that he had found a field of study one could spend a career on, something unusual below the graduate student level. That paper and another are included in the ebook: "On Psychology: With Illustration in Psychopathology via Synesthesia and Schizophrenia."

A Voice for the Dark and the Thought-Provoking
JZ Murdock’s work appeals to those who are drawn to the darker and more mysterious aspects of life. His ability to weave psychological insights into compelling narratives makes his stories not just entertaining but also deeply thought-provoking. Whether you’re a fan of horror, science fiction, true crime, or psychological exploration, Murdock’s work offers a rich and immersive experience.

For readers and viewers who appreciate stories that challenge the mind and explore the depths of human nature, JZ Murdock is an author and creator who delivers on all fronts. His work is a testament to the power of storytelling to not only entertain but also to provoke thought and reflection on the complexities of the human condition.

Gee, thanks ChatGPT!

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #62

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…August 18, 2023, Friday

Weather for the day… 59° starting out, 62° when I got home
Almost a bit chilly starting to walk today. Overcast maybe there’s a bit of moisture in the air cool it down water temperature so it feels cooler than it is.

Podcast "The Foundation official podcast" from the show S2E3 "Why the Gods Made Wine", finishing off an episode I started yesterday when I was working in my yard. Then S2E4, "In Seldon's Shadow".

This post is much more on Entertainment and the Arts than usual, on a path I have long wished to take...


We have little control over in our life beyond our epidermis layer of skin. Beyond that it’s just wishes and guesses. The further we get away from that outer layer of skin to apply our desires out into the world and onto others, ever increases the amount and degree of abuse we put out into the world. And here’s the kicker… We don’t really have that much control over the area under our outer layer of skin either, we just think we do. Then we get into determinism and fate...

So it’s been a few days since my last walkabout. Since my last walk, I’ve gotten the previous thoughts before that last walk posted yesterday and I think I’ve gained like three or five new international awards for my films since then. Just today my film "Pvt. Ravel‘s Bolero" is now a nominee in the Beyond the Curve festival. It’s always a lovely thing to wake up to.

I’m starting to submit my rewritten screenplay with producer Robert Mitis consulting on it, “The Teenage Bodyguard “, to festivals.

A week ago today or this evening anyway, my sister and her husband picked me up and drove us up north to our cousin's and attended, an event where she is a museum docent and they were throwing a wine tasting benefit. They held it outside in their lovely park grounds. I ran into my old neighbor and friend (who I joined Freemason’s with at his behest, over 10 years ago) and his wife. He made it to Senior Warden, and had to quit because of a new job. I worked my way up to Senior Warden, then had to quit because of family matters. I’m only just now making the connection. We both almost made it to the head guy in the lodge and then, had to leave. I have since moved to a different lodge area here in Bremerton, but have yet to pick up that path again. Still, it was a very fun wine tasting event though I only had hard alcohol from the vendor tables from different distilleries and vineyards and breweries available. We also got a tour of the mansion on their grounds and their museum. I mentioned this in part because, that was last Friday and I think on Wednesday our cousin notified us she tested positive for Covid. We all tested ourselves and we all came up negative. Although I did have some digestive problems this week, which I didn’t have through all my previous three years of Covid issues. I also had dizziness one night this week, which seem to be cured with an antihistamine at bed time. I've felt fine for a couple of days now. Covid can kiss my ass. Although I did waste at least a couple of years with it in which I’ve produced three books (2 fiction, 1 non-fiction on long covid), 2 films (a narrative flm noir and documentary) and have won many awards, so…

Also, since I mentioned it in previous walks, I think I had trouble even walking on my left ankle the last few times, definitely the last time. Since then I have iced and applied heat and some CBD salve and it’s feeling pretty good today.

On this podcast on Apple+, “The Foundation”. I loved reading the Foundation trilogy as a kid. I can’t remember when exactly but it was either the late 1960s or early 70s. So much has come from those books, written in the 40s and 50s, I believe. It’s given us so many things and so many things came from so many things. Star Wars being one. But I do like this rendition in this new series. I found after the first season and into the second, if you keep up, really helped to show me the things I’ve missed in the show and the things different from the books I read so many decades ago. I also hadn’t known until this past month that there were two other books Asimov wrote in the series. I may have known that before… but never knew he never finished the series. Which would now be a sextuplet I suppose. 

This may be the only show other than the "Westworld" series, or possibly "Game of Thrones" where I feel I need to re-watch episodes after watching a new episode. Those I was good with, but they were complicated. This series I feel like I really could benefit from re-watching each episode immediately after watching one. Listening to the podcast has really helped and I highly recommend it if you’re into the series, especially if you’ve read the books. Especially, if you’re into film productions.

To give you an idea of the esteem at which I held Isaac Asimov as a child and into my adulthood, my first published horror, sci-fi story as I’ve said before back in 1990 was “In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear“. The title of which was a tribute to Asimov’s first autobiography “In Memory Yet Green“. I didn’t tell them to follow religion then in that story, but I should’ve. I had previously read "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein. 

But in hindsight, now I look at my book “Death of heaven“ and I can see the same orientation towards religion from those two authors. As one reviewer on Amazon said of it… "Really great story. Interesting take on the view of our planet and the evolution of religion, without it being only about religion! And if you like gory stories, this one's for you!!!" I do not know that person. 

Religion is an organized system of belief. And once you create one, it immediately starts to devolve and dilute as it spreads through time and around the world. As with the Catholic religion that repeatedly splintered. But my book “Death of heaven” takes entirely another tact, and is a most deeply explored fiction book on the misunderstanding or misinterpretation of religious belief, perhaps ever written. And that’s not even braggadocio, but mere fact. Or at least I like to think so.

That book is written as if one were walking by something happening on the street and then the story is told about the path walked next to it, describing actuality as opposed to the delusional reality of that event on the roadside. Which is religion throughout the history of humankind. That’s why I would say my book is so epic in proportion. It does after all go from before the Earth was created until potentially, it’s ending, by the end of the book. And what happens then, I will leave up to the reader to discover. 

Any sequels I write to follow it, I’ve been considering for the decade or so since I wrote it. Just this past month I came up with the most viable sequel to this story. One I've long planned to dovetail with my screenplay about two demon hunting women, "Gray and Lover The Heart Tales Incident", with one of the greatest endings I've ever seen. Or written.

I’m not trying to be "more than", in saying this ("Firefly" reference). However, I’m starting to see a lot of structural parallels between The Foundation series in my book "Death of heaven". There are things like the unreliable narrator. Things like, who are these voices speaking around an entire planet and species? Plus the origin of this book comes from a previous book in the final novella in that book. That book being my first ever published collection of my older short stories, ending with a novella, as mentioned, “Anthology of Evil”. That novella is titled, “Andrew“, which begin as a short story. The first one I wrote for my Intro to Fiction class at Western Washington University towards my degree in Psychology and Phenomenology. I think perhaps it shows in that story. But it was my first experience in blowing away an entire room of writers, readers, and a writing professor. That story was on such another level from what we had been reading, as all of us were at the time, beginning writers. Although I would say I was probably a writer long being a reader on my way, when I wrote my first short story that I wrote within hours of finishing Frank Herbert's book, "Dune", in 1970, that I titled,“10 Steps to Shadow-Kandom”.
The story that my 10th grade mind came up with, after having read Asimov's "The Foundation" trilogy, and then "Dune", both regarding one youth’s shattered illusions in the path they were on. I belonged to a science fiction book club as a kid, then later while in the USAF.

It’s funny and ironic that 10 steps story I wrote as a 15-year-old was already exhibiting my questioning authority and the concept of shattered illusions. Which comes out again in my novella "Andrew" (in an odd sort of way), which evolved along with my one page short story “Perception“, into my epic, “Death of heaven".

Changing the subject drastically, sort of… Kelly Hughes and I, and put that “I“ out there rather gently, as I'm trying to stay in the background for these events, especially since long Covid… we are gearing up to our next iteration of the "Gorst Underground Film Festival" we started some years ago and which grew out of the small community of Gorst, Washington. Just on the edge of Bremerton. Kelly has acquired a small venue in Silverdale, the next town over, a hub for the area and the Navy and has grown into a shiny shopping center of sorts. There’s a small production studio on its outskirts in a business Park, all owned by the same family. Oh yeah, I forgot, Kelly asked me to watch a short film by the Laszlo‘s who were one of our supporters and would show up, have drinks, show their films at our monthly, late evening events at the historic Roxy theater here in town. They and their films were always a joy to behold. Those were our monthly “Slash Night“ events. Those were a lot of fun. Alas, Covid killed them. From those monthly events, we also got to see and know of the works of the Darkow brothers, Travis and Tyler. We’re still in touch with Tyler and enjoy his Facebook posts about his working on film productions, mostly as an actor now.

Speaking (yet again) of my book "Death of heaven", it is still in the free little library I just walked by...an orphan. Brand new book, never been read itself, and no one’s picking it up. I think the problem with that book has been its title and cover. It gives the wrong impression. Especially since the title has a lower case “H“ in the title for "heaven". Which started out as a cover artist mistake, since the book got reprinted with version two. So I just went with it. I thought he did it on purpose and he later said he didn’t even realize it but somehow it passed muster until it got onto Amazon. Then they started questioning it because you can’t have improper capitalization in a title. Well, fuck them for that. I’ve long put a lot of weight into my titles saying that a title can be half of the meaning of a story. And you have no right to screw with an artist's conception. Proper title grammatical form is the capitalized "H" in Heaven, as a place, or as a religious conception, or merely out of respect. And I leaned on that latter most in giving the word no respect. Why? Well, you have to read the book, so the title's indicating something and it's not just about the capitalization of the book, It indicates something that not just the book cover, as any kind of cover animative graphic. Not hyper realistic like book covers are today. It gives it a feeling of something it’s not. The cover artist, Marvin Hayes, said he thought it added to the breaking of rules in the book. Right, but I think for most people that’s not how they’re taking it. It’s not just something that draws their attention, but may repulse them somewhat. Say, if it’s sitting on a bookstore shelf. No offense intended to the artist, as I think it’s a pretty cool graphic. And it kind of shows the story in one single image, but it also gives people the wrong impression that it’s a book about angels, or something. It is not. There is one story about an angel in the book and that's a misperception by the protagonist in the story. While there are beings in the book that can be misperceived as gods. And their interactions with humanity, over the course of all of human life, from beginning to end (of the book and timeline), does lead to stories of a perhaps religious deity (deities) interacting with humans. While there is something entirely different going on. And that was the purpose in my mind of a lowercase in the word, "heaven".

I think the prime concept of "Death of heaven" is to be careful what you believe, you may be 100 percent incorrect. And here are examples of that.

There’s some great actors and work done on the Foundation show series. But I would like to mention one of the main characters who plays "Brother Day", Lee Pace. I first noticed him in the series, "Halt and Catch Fire" some years back, about the invention of the home PC. And then I see him in a few other things. I noticed him the other day in "Captain Marvel". He’s a big guy, and a great actor.

On the Foundation series, there’s some parallels between the Donald Trump administration's efforts, and MAGA. Foundation has individuals who have become somewhat unhinged, for a variety of reasons. Good reasons. Donald Trump and his administration are also unhinged. And now they are paying the price through the judicial system as they try to claim political divisiveness against those prosecuting them. Typical with criminals at large. Which is ridiculous in this case, because this entire process has been overtly purposely cut off from the political system and executive branch. It’s interesting how the characters in Foundation are unhinged yet people still follow their orders, just as we see with Donald Trump and his fascist autocratic movement of sheer and utter bullshit.

I need to check if my two version screenplay book on Amazon ever got approved because I never heard anything about it and it’s been plenty of time. My first two scream playbooks I got up there recently, were approved pretty quickly. So what the hell? [Update 8/19/23: OK it's up and online and...I just ordered a few, then I'll unpublish it, for now]

By end of 3rd mile I’m happy to know I can do a fourth, but my left hip's feeling something not... comfortable. Which reminds me of two of my good friends since high school. One I've known since I started college in 1980. Both of them having health problems now in our late 60s. I’m not so much myself, except for Covid. Although my knees and left ankle have been a problem since I was born, I think. First world problems? That is, industrialized  nation problems?

OK as much as I want to do a 5th mile today, I’m calling it a day. At least I got four done and at least I got out for a walk at all. I just don’t wanna overtax my left ankle. Although I would like to listen to more of this Foundation podcast, I have only this one and one more and then I’m caught up to the episodes I’m now watching weekly for season two.

It’s nice to know as from the beginning of these walkabout thought blog posts, I’ve been wanting to get more into entertainment, and out of politics. Which is hard because we’re in a politically insane, autocratic nutcase period in American history. And after all Trump's abuses, I look forward to his being abused by way of sentencing and punishment and prison. He's supposed to turn himself in to the police in Georgia next Wednesday, according to himself, then said he's pushing it to the last minute. What a putz. Just get it over with buffoon. According to that police official he will go through, the process every criminal goes through there he will. Seems fair (finally). To which I do so hope we hear what fat boy's actual weight is. Pushing 300lbs? One wonders if his vanity will kill him on that day.

Adding to what I was saying above about my first short story from 10th grade that I wrote, to my book, "Death of heaven" evolved from my novella "Andrew", which started out as a short story and turned into my Intro to Fiction at University, it's prime concept being one of disillusion, and then those I have to add to that, my first screenplay, written my last quarter at Western Washington University, which I titled “Ahriman“, is a sci-fi screenplay about a prince/prophet on a desert planet, unceremoniously and inadvertently transported to earth via a scientific experiment gone wrong. 

Funny how I keep impinging upon that concept. My story, “EarVu” is about an experiment gone wrong. My newer story “Quantum History“ is about kind of the same thing. Also, my latest fiction book which  began as a novella for that series, but grew into a book unto itself (because I was having so much fun writing it, and THAT is what you want to hear from an author), thus the novella intended for the sequel as, "Anthology of Evil II" evolved into book II with that second book becoming, "The Unwritten". I only refer to this because of the three universes in that book where one has suffered through their "Religious Wars" and then their "Science Wars", where in the end, Science wins out. Yeah, reminds me of earth and our religions there to replace science which was non existent until it was existent so religion could die out to be replaced by more sane considerations and yet, nope, still not happening. Well let's hope it doesn't mimic my book...

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #60

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts… August 8, 2023, Tuesday

Weather for the day… 67° starting out, 71° when I got home

Podcast Smartless episode with Paul Giamatti
Then WTF with Marc Maron, episode "Show business is my life." Gary Mule Deer documentary

Look up OC & Stigs directed by Robert Altman

So it’s been a few days. My last walk was last Thursday. My long Covid book is in my son's health food store and he asked for more copies because it’s selling. So I thought I’d throw some Amazon ads up on it but  they rejected them because of capitalization issues that I cannot figure out what the hell they’re talking about. But my book death of heaven, which is a pretty good book if I do say so, the last reviewer said it's the "best horror book they ever read". Ignore the fact that though she was honest, and an avid reader, we were housemates back in the early 90s for nearly a year, in the U District area of Seattle Washington. My antiwar documentary short film, Pvt. Ravel‘s Bolero" is doing well and with the last two awards now has 22 international film festival awards, with more to come, hopefully. My screenplay "The Teenage Bodyguard" now has three international awards. Aside from having long Covid, which is continuing to diminish in half life stages, which makes you feel like it’s never gonna go away as it’s now been over a year, I’m otherwise having a pretty good year, artistically speaking. I’m also feeling what you hear people say about being an overnight sensations, when famous people who get that...their response, is yeah, I did this all really fast overnight after like 20 years of working at it hard and feeling utterly hopeless. Well not to worry, I'm no overnight success, yet, if ever...

So with today’s walk, I’m having problems with the muscles in my left arch, it’s been tender to step on lately, so I used hot and cold on it last night. It’s a lot better but still kind of tender. Still I’m out walking on it hobbling along. I want my damn 5 miles. It’s been a while. Think I only got in 3 miles last Thursday which just ain’t acceptable

SmartLess guys are asking Paul Giamatti, since he did cartoons at Yale towards the end there, as well as acting towards the end, what his goto doodle is. I had some in high school. If I go back and look at my old papers I tend to see stars everywhere, which at some point, when my kids were young, would’ve been considered... I don’t know, pentagrams or something. I think my crazy ex-wife said about my my oldest son, not her son but stepson, when he was drawing "pentagrams" weren’t pentagrams. She thought he was gonna grow up and be a serial killer. He was a problem kid (ADHD, broken family and pissed about it, as I was as a kid) I don’t think we were much unalike. But then having had trouble with his mother and his stepmother, thanks to me. Sorry kid. Never my intention. She thought he was into, I don’t know? Devil worship? I said, what the fuck? I said when I was a kid I drew those, too. They’re just fun and easy to draw without thinking. A kind of Zen thing. Anyway, I also liked to draw spaceships, little simple doodles, but the main one I did was a snake head with octopus legs. I have no idea where I got that from it was just fun to draw, and I did it all the time, again and again.

Jason is asking Paul about his movies because it feels to him like everything has been and has been really prestigious. In an odd way that reminds me of having pets. All my life people have commented on my pets as being uniquely cool pets. And for years, I just assumed I was lucky but I picked them well, which is true, but I finally came to realize, when I had a friend I thought was a very cool person, who went to the same thing where they said people always said their pets were cool. I thought they were pretty chill too, and I said "Hey maybe it’s not so much our pets as it's us? Because pets do take on, you know, certain characteristics from their owners." So maybe some of the films Paul is in are seen in hindsight as prestigious, are in part that way because of him. He would probably say, maybe, in some small way. But depending on the talent and crew you associate with, the screenplay, you accept working with directors, and other actors, in those  you work with who you're asked by or you’re attracted to, maybe it’s somewhat his choices, so in the end, the movies came off as very good films. Wow, that was a convoluted sentence or two...

You know, I realized a week or two ago that I’ve had a really productive phase recently. I think these "walkabout thought" blogs have helped because I felt I needed to get them out (transcribe, sort of edit and publish). A couple weeks back, I spent three days getting caught up and that was a chore, working all day every day for a few days... on something. But it’s interesting that before Covid I had done a couple of films and mostly had finished my latest "Pvt. Ravel’s Bolero" documentary/filmic poem done, then took on the effort during long Covid and getting it out to film festivals, which took a lot of effort for me at the time. Then since I did that, I have gotten out 2 books, sequels to "Anthology of Evil", my first collection of short stories. Then since I didn’t have any new movies as I was submitting my last two films to festivals, I started submitting my screenplays. I guess my true crime screenplay is finally ready because it started winning awards, while just a few years ago it wasn’t winning anything. It’s just a matter of spending years if you have to. to keep fine-tuning your craft and good things will come of it.

Paul saying, while his film "Sideways" kind of killed the Merlot industry for a bit, he’s really not a wine drinker and didn’t know anything about it. He prefers Mezcal. The guys (Smartless) started talking about Jason when he was younger, driving around with a candle lit on his dashboard. The things we do when we’re young like that. The only thing I can think of for myself was that I used to wear leather driving gloves. This was when I had my 1967 RS/SS Camaro convertible which two years later would it be called a Z28. I didn’t really wear the gloves to be cool, although it may have evolved into that. I actually wore them for functional reasons because I was a street racer. I kept losing drags in my Camaro because it had a 350 stock engine, and I kept coming up against "built" engines. I was far better at any kind of a rally thing, as I was really good at driving a course. Or zipping through town and finding, or losing somebody. Which came in handy in the Air Force when I lost a cop once. I knew he was going to give me a ticket for speeding as I happened to zip by him hidden on a side street. This is in my "The Teenage Bodyguard" screenplay. I was in a 1975 Monza Town Coupe of all things. I whipped around the block and came back up behind him. Going downhill to a stoplight. Pulled up behind him at the light. I saw him looking both ways for me. Where did he go? He turned left and I turned right. I started wearing those driving gloves long before that, because when I was going fast around corners and straightening out the wheel would whip around straight it could hurt. Also, my hands would slip sometimes when I spun the wheel to go around a corner (this started in my first Camaro), and I found that wearing gloves really stuck to the steering wheel, as well as protecting my hands and skin. So I kept wearing them for a while after I wasn’t doing that kind of crazy shit anymore. And then I think I went in the Air Force and I don’t know if I started wearing them again when I got my second '75 Rally Sport Camaro. I traded in the Monza in about '77? A whole different kind of animal, not a rally car but could do 140 on the freeway and it just hummed along after you hit 100MPH. When I got that Camaro I stripped all the California gear off the engine with a kid I worked with on base in the parachute shop and put an Edelbrock manifold and Holly 650 "double pumper" and glass pack mufflers & headers on it.

So they’re asking Paul for acting "horror stories". He couldn’t think of any, and they asked, what about forgetting your lines? And he said, No not really. But then he came up with a story about Seattle when he lived here. Which reminded me of, let’s see, my second or third grade doing a school play. I was on stage with my best friend, Jimmy Snowberger (or Jimmy Snow), believe it or not two, of my friends, it always blew me away about their names. One moved away and was replaced by the other, oddly enough. We were doing this play about two prospectors eating dinner in the wild. I’m standing, he's kneeling down by the fake fire. I ask if he wants me to clean the plates. He says, No three Rivers will take care of it. I asked, three rivers? And he says, Yeah. Here three rivers, here three rivers. And a dog is supposed to come over and lick the plates clean. Right in the middle of this really short play? I said my line while looking down at him. And I see him hesitate. I think I see him freeze. He looked up at me, blank. And I would’ve given him his line, but stupidly, I said, don’t you dare. I said it slow and stern. Do not walk off the stage and leave me here alone! Which apparently gave him the idea. Because I look up and see the teacher in the wings. He turns around and sees her. He looks back at me. Then he just stands up and walks to her. Leaving me standing there, sideways to the audience. I look out of the audience, of a whole auditorium of parents staring at me. I  looked over at him off stage, as if to indicate to the audience that it’s him, not me. I can see him talking to the teacher. Finally he comes back kneels down, says his line and we finish the play to big applause. I never got on stage again, for years. Until eighth grade at Holy Rosary parochial school when they forced me to be in the school choir for Christmas. I refused at first. My eighth grade class had a thousand year old Nun and leader of the Convent there and our principal. So I sung in the Christmas choir. Mom got a kick out of it anyway. Interesting to note that I never again wanted to do acting. I actually took theater 101 at University because I want to learn about theater and I didn’t see anything indicated about having to act. First day, our Yale Masters grad theater teacher tells us we'd have to get up and act out who we are, on stage without speaking. Almost every guy in the place got up and walked out of the theater. I just sat there squirming. He then had us count off by threes to go up by groups. Then at some point I'd had enough and got up and walked out. That was just after he said about the guys leaving, that that was good, and part of his plan. That weeded out the guys who didn’t need to be there. As I stood and started to walk out, I looked around and it seems like every girl in there was really good looking. As I walked away, there was a groaning of disappointment by the entire class. I wasn’t too bad looking back then and I kind of stood out on campus. I’ve always wondered, had I known the girls were gonna react like that would I have stayed? If I could’ve just gotten over that few moments on stage acting like a fool, how would things have gone from there? You know, the problem wasn’t so much getting on stage, as it was that I really had no clue what to do. Probably few others did too. And I had a phobia to doing things when I totally don’t know what I’m doing, or if I know that I’m gonna do a bad job for lack of whatever it takes to do it. I always want to do well. While I used to be a bit of a perfectionist, it rattled my nerves so bad at the time but I eventually got over it. The Air Force had helped some. College certainly helped. Getting a degree in psychology and having to take group therapy for a quarter helped (I rebelled about taking "group", but was told, then you don't graduate, so...). But there it is. Then in the early 90s I got a head shot join taken at a talent agency in Seattle, the Mode Talent Agency, and then sent me out for auditions. But there were some internal problems at the agency and they fired two women who worked there, and they seemed less professional and never called me back, that was the end of that.

OK I’ve now walked 2 1/2 miles and I’m limping pretty good on my left ankle, so 3 miles is it for the day today, again. Dammit! Well headed home now. I’ll ice it down and heat it up. Keep doing that all day, put some more CBD oil on it like I did last night.

Paul has a pretty interesting story about being on stage in a small theater in Seattle when somebody out of the audience gets up on stage with him, and kind of disrupts everything. He can tell it better than I would

Now they’re talking on the podcast about, Will having to get a colonoscopy this week or the week of this recording. And they’re talking about what they’ve gone through and things like that. I may have mentioned this before, but in 10th grade I had to have surgery on my left arch. I have really flat feet and somehow still got in the Air Force. But when I came out of surgery and was awake again, the nurse came in from surgery and said everything went well. Your doctor will be in to talk to you and I've got to say, you had all of us laughing all the way through surgery. And I said what? I said, I remember that you told me to count backwards from 100 and I remember getting to 96. She said, oh you were really talkative. I said, well what did I say? She said, don’t worry about it. I said. no I really want to know what the hell I said? She said, honey what happens or is said in surgery stays in surgery. And she would not tell me, which worried me even more. I mean a 15-year-old guy doesn’t wanna feel exposed that he said some embarrassing shit when he doesn’t have a clue what he was saying. You know? Oh well, no closure on that event.

What if she had told me everything I said, and I wrote it down and worked on it and created a standup routine and became a comic out of it? Maybe I would’ve gotten over my fear of being on stage sooner? Who knows?

OK since it’s funny beyond the joke that they tell on the podcast… Jason tells a joke, which apparently the guys have heard 30 times already and he gets it wrong every time, but he’s telling Paul that  aDr. walks into an operating room, patient's laying there. Doctor says, OK Jerry, this time no hard-on. The patient says, Dr. my name is Kevin. And the doctor says, no, I’m Jerry. I preferred the way Jason told it. It was succinct to the point had a punch but the guys are still ribbon him about it, mostly because he’s done it wrong so many times before.

So I’ll be honest about this. I put my book "death of heaven" in the free little library here on the street. And I don’t know, the third or fourth time I’ve done this over the past few years. The longest it’s gone without somebody taking it, I think was a week. Seems to me it’s been here now like going on three weeks. Still sitting there, homeless, but happy for the shelter, but it's wishing somebody would take it home and read it. I liked my last review on Amazon saying it’s the "best horror story I’ve ever read", and they’ve read a lot of horror stories. I say that because I know who posted that. And no, they would tell the truth if they thought it sucks, they're just that kind of person.

Cheers! Sláinte!

FREE - All My Ebooks Now FREE on Smashwords!

For those picking up my ebooks to read, Thanks . Enjoy! Been getting emails that they are getting downloaded. All of my ebooks on there are now temporarily FREE until April 20th because of the pandemic. Check it out and then check out their other authors, maybe one of your favorites. Get them while you can! 

From Smashwords to customers:

For one month only, thousands of Smashwords authors and publishers will provide readers deep discounts on ebooks. Discount levels include 30%-off, 60%-off, and FREE.

This sale is a direct result of several Smashwords authors who suggested it. These indie authors want to support readers around the world who face unprecededed anxiety, economic hardship and social isolation as the world community fights to stem the spread of the Covid-19 virus.

More than ever, these ebooks from indie authors and publishers offer readers unlimited hours of low-cost entertainment, distraction, comfort and knowledge during these trying times.

Smashwords is being hammered with downloads. Can't imagine why. But keep trying, they may be up and down with all the requests.

I was just wondering, as all my ebooks are free for a month, which is good (or bad, or bad good?) for pandemic reading?

So I surveyed my available titles. I have a complete other manuscript of new stories as yet unpublished which I've been wanting to get around to, but...not yet.

So...

ANTHOLOGY OF EVIL - a collection of my older writings available in print on Amazon
In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear - Sci Fi / Horror
Gumdrop City - Horror / based on True Crime and my new film
Quantum History - Sci Fi / Humor at MIT
The London Mea Culpa Document - Lead into next story
The Mea Culpa Document - Medieval / Horror
Poor Lord Ritchie's Answer (To A Question He Knever Knew on the knight that the Knight lost all") - Medieval / Horror / Surreal - this comes later from another "Breaking on Cave Island"
Sarah - Horror / Surreal Alzheimer's on Twilight Zone
The Fall - short short Horror that led to an indie industry article written about my writings
Japheth, Ishvi and The Light - Horror / Zombies at a religious commune and ... God
Andrew - novella - Horror / Surreal / Sci Fi the story that led to the next book...

From author and reviewer Michael Brookes: "The book [DEATH OF HEAVEN] starts well and has a Clive Barker, Books of Blood vibe, which really works well. It's in these tales that the author's writing ability shines. He demonstrates a lovely turn of phrase and some of the writing is almost poetic in its beauty."
DEATH OF HEAVEN - epic horror sci fi with standalone stories in it you will understand when you read it. A complex and some have reviewed, a beautifully written book that is hard to describe: Available in print on Amazon
The Conqueror Worm - two 12-year-old boys dig up treasure
Rosebud -beware imposing your mind on your gf
Thirst Divine - terrifying entities from above can be erotic
Harbinger -be good, terrifying entities are watching from above
"Sweet Jane" - be careful who you marry. I wrote this after watching Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians one night back in the 90s when they played on SNL and being inspired.
Marking Time - avoid ghosts in Afghanistan, even if you're special forces. Originally written about my own childhood in the Civil Air Patrol in search and rescue, ported over to adulthood.
Going Home - runaway gets in the wrong car, classic story.
Vaughan’s Theorem - a scary serial murderer story and rather long.
The Mea Culpa Document of London - medieval witch hunter

ALSO other shorts:
EarVu - horror in the lab
Mr. Pakool's Spice - father and 2 young kids in the zombie apocalypse in the back winter woods of Oregon. Originally published in an anthology with other authors.
Expedition of the Arcturus - sci fi on earth's first trans-generational spaceship, originally published in PerihelionSF.com magazine in their second edition ever.. A great hard sci fi mag for free reading.
Xibalba Unleashed - serial murder in a Mayan cave and university campus

Simon’s Beautiful Thought - short sci fi romance I wrote about a guy and his phone's AI, before most or all of the more famous stories like that.

NON FICTION (I have a degree in psychology, thus...)
On Psychology: With Illustration in Psychopathology via Synesthesia and Schizophrenia

Psycho-neurologically Approaching a Field Theory Understanding of Schizophrenia via Research of a Non-normative, Non-pathological Syndrome: Synesthesia, and the need for more information Title Case Recommendation
Unpublished

SO...jump over to Smashwords and look around. Wishing you all the best through this difficult time. But there are options to lose yourself for a time in some great books!

#ebooks #shortstories #smashwords #horror #scifi #sf #novels #free #freebe #freeebook #bookstagram #freebook #ebookgratis #ebooklovers #islamicpost #ebookbestseller #ebookfree #freeebooks #ebookpdf #ebooks #freebie #giveaway #couponcommunity #freestuff

First Lines From Famous Author's Short Stories

I'm overwhelmed and sad at our current political situation with the travesty that is the Trump administration. So, I thought side stepping into something light and interesting in the realm of writing might be handy.

I recently had to go through my old papers and found a wealth of story ideas, notes (many written on bar napkins from the 1980s, and odds and ends of things I'd written going back decades. One was two hand written pages where I had gone through a book of short stories and copied their first opening sentence of nineteen of the stories in the anthology.

There's others out there to be sure. But this is mine for myself from many years ago. Like, 50 Best First Sentences in Fiction. But I was focusing on science fiction. Another is, The 7 Types of Short Story Opening, and How to Decide Which is Right for Your Story.

My thought at the time was to study the opening lines from great authors and attempt to gain some insight for my own stories.  This is that list.

I got these from 100 Great Science Fiction Short Stories, when I wrote these down sometime after it came out in 1985.

A  Loint of Paw, by Isaac Asimov
There was no question that Montie Stein has, through clever fraud, stolen better than a hundred thousand dollars.

The Advent of Channel Twelve, by C.M. Kornbluth
It came to pass in the third quarter of the fiscal year that the federal reserve Board did raise the rediscount rate and money was tight in the land.

Plaything by, Larry Niven
The children were playing six-point Overlord, hopping from point to point over a hexagonal diagram drawn in the sand, when the probe broke atmosphere over their heads.

The Misfortune Cookie, by Charles E. Fritch
With an ease born of long practice, Harry Folger cracked open the Chinese cookie and pulled the slip of paper free.

I Wish I May, I Wish I Might, by Bill Pronzine
He sat on a driftwood throne near the great gray rocks by the sea, watching the angry foaming waves hurl themselves again and again upon the cold and empty whiteness of the beach.

Science Fiction for Telepaths, by E. Michael Blake
Aw, you know what I mean.

FTA, by George R.R. Martin
Kinery entered in a rush, a thick file bulging under his arm.

Trace, by Jerome Bixby
I tried for a short cut.

The Ingenious Patriot, by Ambrose Bierce
Having obtained an audience of the King an Ingenious Patriot pulled a paper from his pocket, saying: "May it please your Majesty, I have here a formula for constructing armour-plating which no gun can pierce...."

200, by Edward D. Hoch
The children were always good during the month of August, especially when it began to get near the twenty-third.

The Destiny of Milton Gomrath, by Alexi Panshin
Milton Gomrath spent his days in dreams of a better life.

The Devil and the Trombone, by Martin Gardner
The university's chapel was dark when I walked by it, but I could hear faintly the sound of an organ playing inside.

Upstart, by Steven Utley
"You must obey the edict of the Sreen," the intermediaries have told us repeatedly, "there is no appeal, "but the captain won't hear of it, not for a moment.

How It All Went, by Gregory Benford
At first they designed MKCT to oversee radar signals from the Canadian net and the Soviet Siberian net, to check that one did not trigger the alarm system of the other.

Harry Protagonist, Brain Drainer, by Richard Wilson
Harry Protagonist, space-age entrepreneur, had been planning the project since the Gus Grissom shot.

Peeping Tommy, by Robert F. Young
Tommy Taylor? Oh, he's coming along fine.

Starting From Scratch, by Robert Sheckley
Last night I had a very strange dream.

Corrida, by Roger Zelazny
He awoke to an ultrasonice wailing.

Shall The Dust Praise Thee?, by Damon Knight
The Day of Wrath arrived.

That's it. I don't know what that might tell us, but there it is.

According to a Wikihow article on first short story sentences:

How to start a short story introduction?
Part 2 Choosing Your Type of Beginning

1. Start in scene. Many short story writers will try to start their stories in a scene, usually a scene that feels important and engaging. ... 
2. Establish the setting. ... 
3. Introduce your narrator or main character. ... 
4. Open with a line of strong dialogue. ... 
5. Present a minor conflict or mystery.

So, for what it's worth, even if the above tells you nothing (and it should), the first sentence is important. But don't let it seem so important that you never get to the second sentence, or the last.

On Being a Writer and a Professional

Time to dump reality and politics for a week (at least) and talk about something more fun, entertainment.

The creative process, then sharing with and hopefully fascinating people in maybe perhaps hopefully making them happy, or in possibly making them sad, but doing it all in such a way that they forget their own reality and enter mine, is what it's all about. At very least to have them enter a story that I have weaved for them to experience so they can attempt to wrap their consciousness around it for at least the short time they lend me their attention.

If they might happen to later think of it again at a later date, say the next day or better still the next week, just adds icing to the creative cake.

It is my responsibility to keep their attention, at least until they want to let it go. If things go really, really well, then hopefully I will be done with their attention before they are done with lending it to me.

Hopefully, I will leave them in a state of mind where they will still want more from me. If not now, then at some future point in their entertainment universe.

Hook them, then make them want to come back for more. It's what it's all about. Attempting to be fascinating and addictive.

This all started for me in 10th grade I suppose, with my first short sci fi story after written after having just finished reading Dune, by Frank Herbert back in 1970. When I finished that book I couldn't believe I had only just gotten it from my sci fi book club when it had actually been released five years previous. I was to say the least, inspired.

Maybe in part because I had been into sci fi for years already and had started so young. Science Fiction back then wasn't really a part of American life as it is now. Maybe because I had read Asimov's Foundation Trilogy years before written in the early 1950s, though I didn't get to them till the mid to late 1960s. Still, I was properly prepped for a book such as Dune when I read it. Or maybe it was because Dune was just that good of a book.

That short story I wrote the day I finished reading Dune, was the last complete short story I produced until college. I knew I could never aspire to be such as a "Writer". Or even more difficult to achieve, an Author of a Book. My first university fiction writing class in my senior year showed me something different. In fact it was actually my professor in my earlier and first college composition class in my sophomore year who made it clear to me that I had a spark and a talent for writing.

He was a man of passion and energy and he begged me to consider being a writer. I was impressed. More so than I think he was impressed with me. He both scared me, and motivated me.

It's an odd feeling to live your entire life dreaming of an unachievable thing and then to have someone you respect, and who is paid to know what's up in that area, tell you that you have a talent for achieving that dream. Then later on to find others consistently backing up that contention to where finally it seems as if you will allow actually that possibility to seep in, to take you over. To allow for he possibility that you may indeed have something to work with.

As with most things however, there is more to it than just having the talent.

Just as there are brilliant chess masters out on the streets playing for a buck a game. Masters who no rated chess master anywhere could ever beat. And yet those virtuoso live and play and die on the streets where no one knows their names. Their fortunes are only in the awe of those who do know of them, or have been lucky enough to have gotten to play one of them. For a great story on this see Jerry Seinfeld's interview with Michael Richards.

To paraphrase as has been said, "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." I'm unsure who actually said that first. The point behind that statement however is that living is one thing, trying to entertain is another universe entirely. Where one might think they are the best, there may very well be another field or another section of a field where others are even better.

Art, is not something that should be easy to do. Otherwise everyone could do it and it would lose all meaning. Though there are a few special cases who may seem to be able to do it more easily than the rest of us, even they should strive to push their limits. Like loving ice cream and trying to eat five gallons at a sitting, the quality is not in the eating. It's in the creating and a well trained palate will always discern the difference between the tasty and the truly delicious.

All that being said, I've always been able to spin a good yarn. I used to love to practice telling a story, to see how long I could draw it out before I began to see the attention wan in someone's eyes. Then spin it up again to see if I could once again enrapture their attention.

How long could I tell a really boring story in yet a very entertaining way? It was amazing how long I could go at times, how long some people would let me go on. It was also good training that I didn't realize I was exhibiting in the long run, more for myself, than for others.

One day a guy listened to a story of mine for about twenty minutes. When I got done he realized that the substance of what I had just told him could have easily been told in a sentence or two and he commented on that.

"I can't believe you just took like twenty minutes to tell me all that. But don't get me wrong, it was very entertaining to listen to. Thanks."

High praise. It was around that time in starting college when I realized I could put pen to paper and do the same. That writing was simply an extension of my verbal storytelling. So I began to do the same too, on paper. How long could I spin a story out, say almost nothing but in such a way that is very entertaining to read?

I first noticed this with some of the old writers like Edgar Allen Poe. Years later with Clive Barker. I found I really didn't care where they were taking me, as long as they kept spinning those amazing words in the order they ordered them up in. Beautiful prose. Something that has gotten somewhat lost today as we want writings that we can read quite easily on a train, in a bus station, during a few free moments. Rather than devote an evening to reading a good book, we mostly now prefer to watch a show on TV. Or, the Internet.

I guess I've gotten somewhere along those lines as an author who reviewed my book, "Death of Heaven" (now in its second edition) had to say:

"[Death of Heaven] ... has a Books of Blood vibe [referring of course to Clive Barker's seminal horror books], which really works well. It's in these tales that the author's writing ability shines. He demonstrates a lovely turn of phrase and some of the writing is almost poetic in its beauty."
From Author & Reviewer Michael Brookes.

You can also get just the first full chapter of my book by itself in ebook or audiobook format as, "The Conqueror Worm". I tell anyone semi-jokingly, I dare you to read that first full chapter and then honestly say that you have no desire to go on to the next chapter of the book.

That's not bravado, it's an accurate observation. I simply did a very good job on that story and of all my writings it's the one story, when every time I read it and get to the ending I get emotional. It's almost impossible not to. It is as I said, a well written piece of horror.

Or as one first chapter contest write up put it:

"The story itself is very strong, lulling the reader into a false sense of security as two young boys hunt for treasure, before ultimately morphing into a violent and sometimes disturbing tale of horror. This is done with such swiftness that it takes the reader almost completely by surprise, which only enhances the effect." from WILDSound Writing Festival's First Chapter Contest

Please feel free to drop by my website sometime. There's much more available there. Don't let that web site freak you out either. It's just oddness there, is all. Hang out on there for a little while, you'll see what I mean.

Anyway....

I just finished reading Tough Love Screenwriting by John Jarrell, I very much enjoyed that smack in a screenwriter's face by someone who should know all about it. I'm also re-reading Syd Field's seminal Screenplay, The Foundations of Screenwriting. As well as Storyline, Finding Gold in Your Life Story by the charming and talented Jen Grisanti.

They say, "write what you know" but people take that wrong. Most do, perhaps.

You need to know what you know and write from that perspective. Taking those diamonds of experience, you then need to be able to recognize them from you life and spread them around in your writing or storytelling for others to experience in such a way that it fits your purpose.

You can also then use them over and over if you just use them properly to your advantage. Twist them around until they are unrecognizable and remember, these are yours to use.

I'll give you an example. I used my son's CD of music from high school that he wrote, played and produced in my video book trailers. But you can only use so much of a limited amount. Eventually I started using pieces I had used before and by using some music editing software (Audacity) I twisted them, running them backward and playing with them until even my son didn't recognize his own music. In this music, only we have license to it (as he gave his permission) and I don't have to use music I need to pay for, or even make my own to use

Interesting story there. To keep it short, for years (since the 80s) I've kept a few cassette tapes labeled "practice tape #x" with music from when I was playing guitar alone, practice and simply enjoying myself.

Recently I pulled them out to possibly use on my videos, but none of that music survived for some reason. Ruined, lost or recorded over either on purpose or inadvertently, or perhaps an ex did it as I'd experienced that kind of passive \ aggressive thing before.

I was truly unhappy about the loss of those tapes because I remember really liking some melodies I came up with. I had planned to keep them in case I wanted to use them later or to finish out a song or two. But now sadly they are lost forever.

In that train of thought, that reminds me of another truism in writing: "kill your children" or "kill your darlings." Meaning that when you have some writing in a story that takes the reader out of the story and they see or realize they are reading the author, then you need to cut those pieces. Do not slow down the reader just to enjoy your brilliance. It should flow seamlessly. So either be brilliant always, or avoid hills and valleys whenever possible.

Yet also do not throw away your brilliance. Ever. Print them out or store them in a digital file, but don't delete them, that would just be showing your mind disrespect for the effort and intelligence it has shown and you should reward that whenever possible.

You can always use them in another story later. I've actually looked these tiny gems up and built entire stories around them. Freebies if you will. The work put into those gems came from my brain originally and eventually the processes leading up to the creation of that gem were stored in long term storage. So in using them later you access entire passages of your mind that you don't even know exist now. Time savers, really and truly.

Here are some of screenwriter John August's comments on writing. Among films he's written are, Big Fish, Frankenweenie, Dark Shadows, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie's Angels, and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and more. It's just always nice to hear another writer's perspective on writing, on life, on the effort it takes, and the payoffs it can give you.

All I have said here has only one thing tying it all together. That is, why did I write all this today? To sell my wares? To make you think I'm "somebody" (I'm not)? Or that I'm wonderful (I am)? Or that I'm some kind of genius? I'm not, I assure you, otherwise my life would be way better than it is now.

No. The common thread in all the above is this:

Entertaining people is a wonderful thing to do. You too can do it. If you really want to.

That's it. That's all I had to say in this blog for this week. Though I did try to add something more in case you were interested in writing yourself, or like once I was, thought you could never write anything worthy of others reading, thinking it was quite beyond you.

The mechanics of writing was what stopped me for decades until that first professor I told you about said, "Hey, don't think about the mechanics. That's what editor are for, after all." Thus giving me license to relax and simply tell my stories.

That's true and everything about editors but honestly in the end, we want to be our own editors as much as possible. It only enhances your writing and saves time. Sure get one, but make their job as easy as possible and learn from their work on your writings. If for no other reason it's cheaper for you that way. Not to mention they will brag about you to others which is just free marketing and publicity.

So how does one write a fiction story?

Pen to paper, really. Fingers to keyboard. Mouth to microphone. Just get the story out because in the end, writing is really rewriting. More rewriting for some than others surely. But to write fiction you have to write.

Find your idea, think of a kernel of a thought. Stabilize it on audio recording, or analog with pencil or pen or, digitize it with a keyboard. Whatever it takes for you to get your brilliance down where others can examine or enjoy it.

Give it a middle, as you have to start somewhere. Or give it a beginning or an end. Then write forward from that or backward, out outward. Then, read it back in it's entirety. Missing a good beginning or end? Write backward to the start, or forward to the finish. Play with it. The biggest obstacle I've seen is options.

Beginning writers (and experienced ones too) simply see too many options in what to write, what direction to take. But that gets narrower with experience, so relax. The more you write the easier it gets.

For myself I don't worry too much about an ending. For me in the beginning, for many years, that was my killer. A fear of endings. My friends told me years ago that they loved my writings but they told me, with love, "Give it a damn ending!" But I was terrified of endings. An ending meant you had put your stamp on it and if others didn't think it was brilliant, you were an idiot. It wasn't until I had to turn in many non-fiction papers in college that I started to feel the confidence to generate decent endings.

Once you have the elements in place, a fun story (fun in funny, or fun in sadness, but entertaining, scary, intriguing, etc., whatever). Then read it and fix any issues that bug you, that stop you, that slow you down. You need to do what I used to say as a tech writer was "massaging" the text. Smoothing it out, perfecting it. Read it as if it's not yours. Wait a day or a week and read it. Then as you read it once through keep in mind the stuff that bugs you, slows you, speeds you up, gets your blood racing or kills your mood. Keep notes if need be.

Then read it again and fix it. 

Read it again then and if you find now (after two, or twenty rewrites or re-edits) that it flows smoothly to a conclusion, but there are some really good parts that stop you dead, even if they are brilliant, that's when you kill your children, slaughter your darlings. Cut them. Save them. Move on.

Once you are past a first draft, get someone to read it. Someone you trust not to damage you over it, who can give you some advice ("I don't like this character, or this part", or "I love this part but...."). I had to do this on my own because for many years no one would read me. Certainly not family, not girlfriends, not wives. They couldn't seem to be less interested and that seems to be a common thread.

"No one listens to the prophet in his own village." There is a reason for that, so don't feel bad if no one is all that interested in your writings. 

Mostly, I got here by myself. It just takes practice, perseverance.

It was only in the past few years that I found some good readers and an editor to whom I'm forever grateful. In doing it myself all these years, it was not unlike playing chess by myself. Reading my own writings as if I'd never seen them before (usually waiting a week allows for that),

I have gained a lot in having had to do it all by myself. But then in getting an editor I learned that little bit more I just couldn't have done alone. Also, watching massive amounts of videos and documentaries about writers, reading their (only the good ones) good books on writing, I continued to educate myself

And then.... read your writing again. In the beginning of becoming a writer there are many rewrites. But as you do this over and over you do get better and better. The rewrites become fewer and fewer. Read it again. Edit it until it flows as well as you want it to.

In my beginning years I would say that I did this process until I wanted to throw up and could no longer look at a story, then I knew it was done; because I couldn't look at it anymore. Some would ask me back then, "how do you know when to quit writing and editing?"

I would tell them I would know because I simply couldn't read it anymore. So it had to be done. That was when I needed an editor however. I sent those stories out to sell to magazines and I did that for a long time until one day, someone actually bought one.

I'd finally gotten there and on my own.

Anymore? I just know when I'm done writing a story now. I have tied up all the loose ends. The beginning is intriguing enough to draw a reader on, the ending is entertaining and satiating enough that a reader may want to try reading something else I've written.

After a while you get to where you just know. My editor has said that I quickly caught on from her edits, my writing has gotten better, and she has to edit less and less. Considering that my writing was already good enough to sell to the market, it was good to hear that I have gotten even better.

Sometimes, a second pair of eyes are just golden. 

In summation if you want to write, if you have a passion for it, write. If you don't have a passion for it, then don't bother. But if you do bother, then do it right. Learn, but don't waste. Don't spend money where it's useless but at some point, you may have to put your wallet where you desires are. Just don't do it too soon because so much can be achieved in spending so little money. So many writers simply throw their money at and away (those who have it anyway and some who sadly, don't) and yet they never really learn a thing from it, or never get anywhere for all that money and wasted effort. 

There are multitudes of people out there wanting to take your money for your writings. I learned long ago that if I were to sell my writings, people would have to pay me. I wasn't going to pay them. 

Now I'm not talking about contests. That's entirely another cup of tea. But just as dangerous. Learn to verify, validate, check and double check. Never spend money on your writing unless you are absolutely sure you are getting value for it.

Track down who says what contest is good and which are the ones to avoid. The information is out there. Use it. Look before you leap. Validate before you spend. And only send something when you think it really has a chance, otherwise, keep working on it and yes, it can seem to take forever.

In the end if you want to be a writer you will.

Nothing will stop you. No one will hold you back. It's something that just has to come out, and it will. But how soon, how wisely and how effectively will you be at the post creative process, the marketing, selling, spreading around the word of your brand, your name?

It seldom happens overnight. For some it does. Luck does have something to do with it, sometimes even nepotism. But the skill has to be there to begin with. You have to be in the right place, have the (right) material available if someone asks. Make sure it's golden and don't fear success. The fear of success is a big killer of so many talented people. Just as they are making it they sabotage themselves, fearful of failure or in not knowing how to handle success when it happens, usually unexpectedly.

A famous author once said he wallpapered his home office with rejection slips until a wall was full. Then he filled another and another and then started on another room. I took that to heart only I kept a scrapbook of them until finally one day I got accepted and realized I was sad that I didn't get a rejection slip in order to see what theirs would have looked like.

I had to convince myself this sale was good. This after all was what I had been shooting for, for years. After a few days I did start to feel good about it. 100% good. You have to steel yourself to the reality of the pain of the business, the let downs, the lack of returned calls or emails, the rejections. Everyone is hustling and they forget you quickly if you're not right in front of them.

Talk about an industry with ADHD! The entertainment industry is brutal. You're only as good as your last work. You only exist if someone already wants you. To get a job you have to have had the job before. So on and on. 

But when it works, when you make a sale, when someone says how good you are or you see or read or hear someone compliment your works, it's really pretty amazing. But you have to get that going in a steady and continuous stream in order to make it all worth it. Otherwise, what you have is just a hobby. 

Make up your mind. Is this going to be a hobby or a business? Because if it's a business then you have to be professional. You have to do the work. It's hard work, just like any job. Don't just love the romance of being a writer, because so many do that and then fail or give up. Learn to love the hard, lonely hours spent producing words on a page. Love the process. Love the journey. The destination then will come but if you only love the romance or the destination, you may find yourself sorely lost.

So many marriages fail because people don't get that it can work and should be work because anything you really and truly love and want, takes effort to achieve and hang onto. Otherwise it's gone on the next tide. And that tide is relentless. So you have to be too. 

Success comes to those who wait it out, who work harder than they need to, who always expand their horizons so they will be ready for whatever comes their way. Inevitably when opportunity knocks on your door, you won't be ready or in the mood or it will be wearing a disguise just begging you to say no, to turn away or to give up. 

Remember that one all important thing if you want success.

Well okay, I don't really know what that is and it can be different for everybody. You have to find what that is, for you.

Just know that when it shows up, you'd better be ready for it because it will come at you full bore and from an oblique angle. You won't see it, you won't be ready for it and you may not even notice it when it zips by.

But if you do notice it, grab hold, hang on and the final key is...don't let go. Because then is when things get really interesting.

What is, The Unwritten? Find out FREE on Wattpad. Experience, the cliffhanger, as it's being written!

[ My editor said she had trouble finding links to

my story on her iPad, so just to be clear,

here is the STORY LINK referred to below.

This is now a finished book on Amazon & Smashwords.]

New parts posted to Wattpad weekly, or more frequently

This past summer I started playing with a site called, Wattpad. An author I know from Facebook, Louis Shalako, was posting parts of a book he calls, "The Mysterious Case of Betty Blue". I wasn't paying much attention to things till I started to wonder why he was using Wattpad. So I thought I would give it a try.

I posted a few things, getting my toes wet. I posted the popular story, To End All War. A short story I wrote on Wattpad. I posted my short short story, "The Fall" which previously was only available in an ebook of mine as an additional story. This was a story that led to an article on my writings, in Indies Unlimited called, "Gender Bender" by L.A. Lewandowski, about writers writing both male and female characters and making it work. I wrote, Crashing Indulgence, as an experiment that got more than a few reads. But these were all just testing the waters, until something of substance came about.

Then one day, I came across an old quote on my quotes page here on my blog called, Quotes Along The Murdock.

Currently only 12 parts, more coming, trust me.

Whenever I post something somewhere that I find interesting, I post it on that page. I posted one a while back and saved it in there attributing it to, "The Unwritten". Which actually meant to be a kind of joke and essentially something that I hadn't written, it was a quote from nowhere. I write just about everything: non-fiction, fiction, horror, sci fi, screenplays, whatever. I try to stretch my skill set.

The quote goes like this:

"I want to learn to love you best of all," she said, "and that's just easier if you're dead."
From, The Unwritten

It occurred to me that I should write it into something so that when I said it was from, "The Unwritten", it could actually be from SOME thing called, "The Unwritten". I thought about Wattpad and figured, what the Hell, let's see what happens. Wattpad is a place readers can watch writers as they write something. Some writers have even gotten book deals from publishing on Wattpad, but I wouldn't hold my breath on that one.

You can see how writers think as they develop a story. It's a kind of first draft platform for many, both writers and readers. Some polish their work before publishing on there so their works aren't first drafts, but some of us are throwing our first drafts up there, a  pretty scary prospect, really. Especially for those writers who think it's offensive to show a first draft to anyone, as I was taught by one of my university professors.

For some, they really shouldn't publish a first draft. But for those who can kick out a first draft that's readable, especially if you already have readers, it can be fun and rewarding to see how a writer develops their stories. It's also a good experience for a writer. It can change how you work, it can embolden you and beef up your skills. I do have to go back from time to time to clean up parts to fit the new parts, new directions as things develop, but I've found that I really don't have to do that very frequently.

So, as for the quote, it is obviously some kind of a quote from a horror story, so I wrote part "The Unwritten Part I". I wasn't sure if I'd go on beyond that, or where it may lead.

Right after I posted that first part, I was on Facebook, joking around with some people I know from a group on there and to give a guy a hard time, who I was just teasing, I threatened to name a character in a horror story after him. I thought about which one and well, "The Unwritten Part I" became, "The Unwritten Part I - Tom". I'm not so sure he appreciated it, but there it is, the protagonist's name is now, Tom. And Tom has been immortalized in one of my stories. 

A part II came along and then a part III and I realized, there was more to come. At this point there's eleven parts published and two more in draft stage, with no end in sight.

I seemed to be publishing them on Wattpad at a rate of about one a week. Then it escalated. I work on it as I have time. I create one or a few drafts of upcoming parts and work on them if I have an idea where those part should go. I do my note taking in these draft parts and dabble in them, altering them as they develop, then sit down and write through the next part and publish it.

It's led to some research on things. Like Hell and how it's perceived throughout history and in different religions and cultures.

Okay, SPOILERS now -

If you don't want to know anything about the story till you read it, then go read it. It's free.

You can download the Wattpad app for your phone and within seconds of my publishing a new part (or whatever author you decided to follow), you get notified immediately and can read it right then on your phone. Or whatever or however you like. It's kind of a throwback to the old Saturday movie cliffhangers where you just have to wait for a new episode to see what is happening to our here. Or, our antihero, in some cases. 

Here comes a basic description of what you're getting into with this story, The Unwritten.

The story begins with a guy who wakes up in an old cabin in the woods, strapped to an old kitchen table, with a woman standing over him with a knife. She says to him (you'll never guess what):

"I want to learn to love you best of all, and that's just easier if you're dead."

There. Now that quote comes from somewhere and truly is from, "The Unwritten".

Moving along....

With that, she stabs him in the side. Not to kill, but to torture. And, he's not very happy about it. Finally, he finally passes out. When he wakes up, she's gone, he's still tied up and he can't remember anything. Not who he is, where he came from or how he got there. He just knows that he doesn't want to be there or see that woman again since, his host isn't very nice.

One thing leads to another and well, his day just gets worse from then, and then it gets really bad and finally, pretty surreal. Surreal in a way I don't think you've experienced before.

That is to say, things go downhill for him from there; literally and figuratively.

But they also go up.

You see, there is something up there in the cabin, too. Something, is flowing along the ceiling. That's bad enough but where it comes from, is even worse. But that's not all.

There are some others involved. No, they're not there. All three come together in this story in a bizarre exploration of some very disparate things that interact in unforeseen ways. Unforeseen for us, and unforeseen for the characters.

This is a horror story. It's a slasher and torture story. It's traditional and nontraditional. It's a sci fi. A very dark fantasy. Basically, a little bit of everything and, the kitchen sink.

Well, that's all I'm going to tell you. I may at some point in a future post, explain how the parts came to be.

For once, in writing this, I'm just cutting loose and enjoying my writing process. Usually I have a very structured way of going about things. But with this, as Wattpad allows, I can just go for it and see what happens, let my imagination run wild. Which some might say from past writings, I do anyway, but this is different. Maybe it will come out in a similar way to the readers, but for this writer, it's quite a different experience. 

The few people who have read it so far have liked it and have no clue where this story is going. Because honestly, neither do I. I do even more so than usual, write myself into a corner, then try to creatively write myself back out of that corner. If I do a good job in the end is yet to be seen. But so far, I have a pretty good track record in doing that.

One of the cool things about Wattpad, is that readers can make comments, can connect with the writer as the writing is being done. If I were to see a good comment and it changed how the story was going in an interesting way, I just might incorporate it.

I should say that I do have a path in the back of my mind, as to where I'm going. Up to a point. Which is mostly just one to three parts ahead at any one point with an overall thought about where I'm heading, that changes as I come up with a better idea from time to time.

The story is being honed as I write it. It's odd for me since people are reading it before my editor has a chance to do any editing. I should add that she is enjoying the experience and anxiously awaiting my new parts as I post them. So that's a good sign. Because if it sucked, I'd hear about it, I'm sure.

So if you like this kind of thing, please come along for the ride. Because you'll be on a ride that is free, fun, and a touch foolhardy. No, maybe not so much that last one, but it will hopefully keep your attention and be entertaining on several levels.

So, come on down to the dark side! 

Down? Yeah, you'll see what I mean. If you join us for the ride. Experience what the "cliffhanger" is about!

Come join us reading, The Unwritten

New parts posted to Wattpad weekly, or more frequently

Cheers!