Showing posts with label podcast. Show all posts
Showing posts with label podcast. Show all posts

Monday, July 1, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #94

Thoughts in Streams of Consciousness, Rough & Ready, and Lightly Edited from an Award-Winning Filmmaker/Author you’ve never heard of while walking off Reality and hopefully the last half-life vestiges of Long Covid while listening to podcasts.
Walking Day is Saturday, June 29, 2024.


First up...Happy JULY! My eBooks will be promoted/discounted on @Smashwords for the month of July as part of their Annual Summer Sale! Be sure to follow me for more updates and links to the promotion for my books and many more!

I just realized something. When I was a kid reading comic books I loved the grab bag from Johnson Smith company ads where I got my gimmicks and magic tricks and gags that my older sister hated so much.I refuse now to spend money on a grab bag of anything. But that's what my walkabout thoughts are. Sharing my walking around in my mind thoughts from while I'm walking about thinking. Wel, it is what it is...Welcome to SchizoLand.

Weather for the day… nice day, starting out, 64° with a no wind and mostly blue sky 75° back at home, 75° .

Podcast is The Playlist about the Apple+ show Dark Matter from the novel. Love this show. It takes physics as we understand it and shows you how bad it could get.
'Dark Matter’: Joel Edgerton and Showrunner Blake Crouch Dive into Finale Spoilers, Season 2, ‘Star Wars’ & More [Bingeworthy Podcast]

Which is what I did in my first published dystopian sci-fi story back in 1990 in a horror quarterly magazine. “In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear “ is a story I wrote back in 1980 about a genius who turns himself into a computer.

I forgot the history of this story till just now. I blasted this out on social media today because I saw Ray Kurzweil being interviewed about the AI singularity and how he viewed things coming.

My short story: I had been through the Air Force. I had yet to get my university degree or even think about getting one.

When I got out of the Air Force, I got a divorce, and couldn’t seem to get a good job. After all the responsibility and I guess. prestige I had in the USAF, I was surprised I couldn’t even seem to get a job at McDonald’s (no I didn't apply there). I did interview with RadioShack. 

I had the bad luck of their district manager being there that day. I could tell from the get-go he didn’t like me. People usually do, so I couldn't figure out what the problem was. The manager of the store was also there and I was reading something from his looks on his face in listening to the interview. Embarrassment? Irritation at the District Manager who would say some things and the store manager would kind of wince.

As it turned out, he made it clear he didn’t like ex-military and thought they were all thieves and lowlifes. Though I would’ve been a very good employee. I was long into RadioShack. But I couldn’t seem to find a decent job at the level I should’ve been able to get one. Considering what I did in the Air Force. I was parachute shop supervisor responsible for the lives of certainly anyone who jumped chutes. I packed the parachutes the Pararescue guys, Known as the PJs, jumped, daily out of helicopters. I was responsible for over $1 million in equipment, which back then was quite a bit.

Finally, I decided on what are my dream jobs were since childhood, of a sort, and had started to apply for those thinking, what do I have to lose? Radio Shack seemed like a no brainer. 

I had been going to the unemployment office and finally did get hired at Colortyme TV and Furniture Rental. I told them upfront I will not do repossessions and they SAID, "No problem. Show up tomorrow."

When I got there the next day, they said I would be doing repossessions. I said no, I made it clear I wouldn't do that. But they just smiled and said, "If you refuse this job now, no unemployment benefits and we will go against you for that with the unemployment office." Outside of questionable ethics, they were actually pretty nice guys. Just not if you rented from them.

They had a scam of letting you fall behind on payment, if by one day we picked up what you were renting, were told to tell the customer that it wasn't a problem, just come into the store tomorrow and sign a document and we'll bring it all back. What we didn't tell them was, didn't give them time to right then pay it off, call someone or something, was that once we picked stuff up, their contract started from scratch. Some people had only a month left to pay after a couple of years, but they then started it all over again. Keeping them on the hook. Which to me was a rip-off. I couldn't do it.

I finally just quit when I had picked up a TV from a very nice black couple with two of the cutest kids. Seemingly middle-class family. Just got a little behind. I felt I was lying to them the whole time I was taking their 8' console stereo TV console. The kids had been watching cartoons and they were crushed and it broke my heart. 

The week before that I had tried to repo a tv and a guy's wife answered the door. She was pretty attractive wearing a tank top. We were a few blocks north from the north end of McChord AFB runway in a run-down area of low-cost single-family rentals. 

She told me her husband wasn't home and had told her not to talk to anyone about the TV. She said he also told her to tell anyone trying to take it that he has a gun.

This job wasn't worth my life. 

Not that it was something that would typically stop me, ever. Fuck him. I have a gun, too. Probably knew how to use it a lot better than he did. Big deal. But doing a job like this? Being threatened over what I didn't even want to be doing anyway? No.

Then there was that family with the cute kids...during CHRISTMAS time? No, no, no. 

I quit the next day. To be fair about the gun guy? The store manager told me that wasn't any of my concern. It was his job and he'd handled it. Go out there with a Sheriff's Deputy the next day. Whatever.

I went to the unemployment office and they said I was refused compensation to carry me over to another job. I appealed and the guys from the store I was working at on 6th Avenue in Tacoma Washington showed up. Three of them for some reason. They thought it was a lark and were smiling. Screwing the guy who didn't want to be part of their crew. They did indeed make sure I didn’t get any unemployment compensation in quitting over their questionable issues of ethics.

I ended up losing my 1975 very clean, very fast 350 Camaro RS I had configured for doing 140 MPH when I spent weekends with my wife home in Tacoma until Sunday when we'd return so I could get to work on Monday at Fairchild AFB. I could take that 4 1/2 hour drive and turn it into 3 1/2 hours. When that car hit 100MPH, it settled down and became an entirely different car. 

Couple of times I got a ticket on the other side of the river going uphill on some great winding curves that were great fun to drive in a Rally Sport Camaro. Both times that happened I got chewed out by a cop for doing 70+. I had to bite my tongue, considering how fast and how long I'd just been going on a straightaway (only with no other traffic).

My belief had always been as it was I believe on stretches of the German Autobahn, one should have good equipment to drive and the skills to handle whatever speed you choose, and not drive in a reckless fashion. 

Anyway, being after quitting my job, losing my car, I had no bills. But, I ended up living in the shed in the back of my brother's house. I fixed it up, set up the wood stove he had in there, and spent the winter there. He changed me by cutting up all the wood so both the main house and my loft would have heat. He worked construction and would bring random wood and cut-up trees home that he had scavenged. 

It was a good deal and for a while on food stamps, I had a small fridge, my stereo amp and speakers, I took some time to post-military service decompress. Those would good times. Some weed may or may not have been shared there at any hour reasonable or unreasonable when friends dropped by off the alley.

The friends who would come over were my girlfriend's friends. We'd sit around and get stoned. Then one day three of them were over and I jokingly said that I could write anything, make any storyline premise work. Which wasn’t quite true but soft of and I was kind of kidding. Years later after getting my university degree and more so after being a senior tech writer, I really was able to. I also tried to write everything I could in all formats and disciplines. The more you stretch your capabilities the better you are at your chosen or favored ones.

They had laughed at me. So, I said, "OK wise guys, come up with a story you think is impossible to write and I’ll write it." They came up with a "guy turns himself into a computer chip." And so I wrote a story that later got titled, "In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear". Titling it as a homage to Isaac Asimov‘s first autobiography “In Memory Yet Green“. An author who was one of my childhood writing heroes.

They used to give me a hard time about stories. I would write because I never gave them an ending. They complained about it. "We love your stories, but a write a damn ending!"

Fair enough.

That didn’t really happen until after my second-degree when I graduated from Western Washington University. I spent the 1980s sending off my “Ahriman” screenplay about a prince/profit from another planet who gets accidentally sucked onto Earth by our scientists. I also sent all of my short stories off in a round-robin of submissions that led nowhere. I did get to correspond with Clive Barker in London and met him a few times, which was fun.

Finally, in 1990 an East Coast horror quarterly magazine offered to publish my story. If I cut 1500 words. That freaked me out. My wife at the time suggested I look in the story for a block of 1500 words, just to see if either there was a cuttable block, or the publisher was trying to see if I was smart enough to figure out what passage of text he was asking to be cut.

Oddly enough I found nearly an exactly 1500 word section and cut it. It wasn't necessary to the story but added flavor to it. I submitted the story to him and it was published. When I republished that story myself as an e-book in 2012, a little later as an audiobook, I put that 1500 block back in. It wasn't necessary to the story, but it was kind of a fun scene. It did offer some more information about how the famous surgeon and friend was experiencing what was happening.

The story is about a world-famous surgeon whose son disappears in the Amazon. His son had a childhood best friend who asks for help saying he needs life-saving surgery, on his brain. The surgeon helps the guy. It turns out the guy is turning himself into a crystaline computer chip.

With the help completed, the son's friend goes online, gathers advocates, sycophants, and protectors around him, and eventually eases the surgeon out. The problem is the guy was always a little mentally off, as geniuses can be. To fund his research and existence he starts to take on projects.

He does some adverts for TV that are so good, over a brief period, a few and then all American businesses hand him their advertising campaigns.

What happens when a mental defect and narcissist is handed leadership of a country? And the guy basically controls America’s minds. Because for one person to control all media and advertising they would become positioned to re-orient how America thinks.

This effort takes very little of this guy’s processing power and soon most of the world wants him to do their advertising. Because what he produces is so perfect and beautiful and moving. However, Canada and Mexico both start distancing themselves from America. Because they're so close and are better positioned to see what’s actually going on.

It wasn’t until Trump became president that I started to see the similarity between this story, Donald Trump, his authoritarianism, and his narcissistic and pathological lying.

I believe the story ends the only way it could. And I hope that’s not true for America. We may find out in this election because if Trump becomes POTUS again, all bets are off on maintaining democracy in America or in the West. Because Russia and the East have been pushing us in that direction and have been for decades.

Back in the 1990s, oddly enough, the Republican party picked up on this and started going in this direction. Authoritarianism has been creeping back, growing in the democratic West, and needs it to be stopped. ASAP.

Basically how you can tell if anyone’s playing into that is if they support Putin or are against aid to Ukraine. It’s gotten that simplified. Also if you support Donald Trump, then you’re obviously supporting the demise of Western democracy. He has tried to distance us from NATO and other international alliances that are for the betterment of all humankind. You hear from them Christian nationalist speaking points and isolationism

We can change this. We just all need to wake up. Including all of those against Trump. Because even a lot of them aren’t seeing what’s been going on.

This is not a conspiracy theory. That’s not how I came into this information or my understanding of what’s been happening. I had been studying something else completely, when the comparison became clear.

As I’ve said many times before, I didn’t come into this by being a Democrat. Most of my life I was an Independent. I voted for the best candidate of any party. I came into all this by studying the Soviet Union and its expertise in disinformation. Suddenly I'm seeing it in the 1990s coming out of the Republican Party. I thought it had to be something Russian, but it was coming out of the Republican Party who was utilizing those techniques... against our own Americans. 

Because in using Russian techniques, they found themselves rising in power. Do not think Russia did not notice this. It's where their expertise really lies. Observing, assimilating, weaponizing, feeding back into the opposition system, applying pressure in the right few places, hidden from sight, magnifying using useful idiots and cutouts, then sitting back and cheaply reaping the benefits. Republicans loved that concept. 

It’s a heady mix.

Getting back to the podcast, the guy who wrote the novel Dark Matter, Blake Crouch, I’m really enjoying his show based on it. Heavy on physics, but that’s something my son and I communicate back-and-forth about all the time.

This author is apparently written several books that have been made in the shows I have watched, never knowing where they came from. Like Wayward Pines.

Starting my 2nd mile… The sun is kind of warm, but not too bad yet.

Blake Crouch, and then actor Joel Edgerton are interviewed on the podcast. I've enjoyed Joel's projects. 

I've been a consumer of horror books, films, and shows for decades, since the early 1960s? I believe it was one night in 1959, in Philly, I got up at about midnight and my mom let me watch a late-night vampire movie with her in her bed. Being up at a time I never was allowed up at. Hanging with mom. Watching a scary movie in the dark? Life, is good..

I enjoyed that so much that I begged her to wake me every time she watched a late-night horror film. Being a good mother, she tried to dissemble over that. She offered to try flashing a flashlight in my eyes while I was sleeping when the show was starting, and if I wake up, I could watch the movie with her.

I don’t know if she ever did that. She may have because she could be like that. But I don’t think there was any way I was going to wake up. But it shut me up for the time being.

I have to say in the show Dark Matter, in a very reasonable and I think realistic way, they touched on a trope in a different way that was very disturbing and fun to experience.

Blake says he’s envious of those who came up with the show Severance (I like that show too) and said he'd bet when they came up with the conceit of that show, they were punching in the air in celebration.

Blake loved Red Rising, a book that is sci-fi and fantasy. A Game of Thrones sci-fi fantasy set on Mars. He said he’s not usually into leaving Earth for such things, but this is a good series that should be made into a show.

He said he really likes the show Primer. He said he heard they made the show for like $7000. I’ve seen it and I enjoyed it myself. I was a voracious reader through the first half of my life, slowed down when I started needing reading glasses when I turned 40. Now I’m having all kinds of vision problems, making it difficult to read and at times even to watch TV. I don’t know if it was 30 years of sitting in front of a computer screen, or not.

I was used to having better vision than anyone I ever met. I could read road signs down the road from further away than anybody who was ever in a car with me. Sometimes they thought I had memorized all the street signs or something. My hearing was checked in the Air Force and was so good it went right off the edge of the IBM punch card that was recording the session. Te technician running the test thought the machine was broken. But apparently no matter how faint the sound or high-pitched it was, I could still hit the button when they sounds started and exactly when they ended.

In that USAF test, everybody who worked on the flight line near jet engines had to be tested. I realized during the test that I couldn’t quite hear sound at a certain point. I started to think if I couldn’t hear the sounds, I could sort of “feel “them. So I started hitting the button and letting go by a feeling in my chest. Apparently, I was spot on. 


Anyway, my hearing was fine. I was always very protective of my hearing, wearing sound Protectors around jets or the wheeled "ground units", or "ground power units". Generators, basically engines on wheels generating power for the jets to warm up so you didn’t have to burn jet fuel on board. More modern one shown above.

We also had to be careful about being a 25 or 50 feet too close to the exhaust of a jet engine due to radiation or simply being picked up and blown backward. That was the USAF 92nd Field Maintenance Squadron from 1976 to 1979. Interesting times. Even got to meet a Russian agent once off in the woods, in a camper on a truck monitoring the base's signals communications. Nice guy. Base said they didn't care. Fine for the enemy to expend resources counting jet deployments (flights) or unsecured communications but wasn't worth their effort to stop it. Just part of the mission.

Then there was the security police I ran into in the woods across from the base main entrance. Just sitting in their cars getting blasted on cannabis. That next year after that I came to base in the morning from my house near downtown Spokane to be met with heavily armed security police with guard dogs everywhere. Randomly all over the bast, on the streets, which you never saw on base.

Got to our shop and I was told what happened. There was an inspection in the security police barracks and they found 14 cannabis plants growing on the roof so they busted 3/4 of that squadron. On a nuclear SAC base you have to have security police at full staffing. So they called in SP’s from around the nation, over night and while we slept.

I got tasked along with one person from each shop to go around and find mattresses so these guys would have something to sleep on, on the floor somewhere because there was nowhere to put them all. That only lasted few days, a week or so until we got actual replacements requisitioned.

Podcast: apparently, in 2014 the author sold Dark Matter to Sony features. He had only written about 140 or so pages at that point. Damn that must be nice. He said they had sold it to a publisher and somehow the pages got leaked.

He said he and a few other really good screenwriters tried to write a script to make it a feature film, but they could never really crack it. Apparently, I needed a series. They must have done a good job because I’m liking the series.

He said they were having to "kill their darlings" (as we do as writers and filmmakers) and remove the character emotions and character beats that were so important to the story and so eventually gave up making a movie and it moved over to Apple.

This makes me think again that maybe I should take my screenplay “A Teenage Bodyguard” a true-crime drama, that I put massive research into over the years. A story I lived in 1974, though I didn't have a clue the world I was being immersed in. It’s been an interesting journey, living it, forgetting it, decades later writing it, researching it and rewriting it. I just want to get the damn thing out there for people to experience it.

It’s sad because if that story had come out in say 1980, it would be impressive. There were a few people around like I was back in the '60s and '70s as young people who had, let's say, an interesting history. Now partly because of advancements and from social media, everybody knows somebody who did something utterly amazing and none of this is really all that impressive now, which is in a way, too bad.

Still, it did get me a producer a few years ago who works with Michael Douglas. He did get three directors interested who I thought misunderstood the genre or just the story. I see it is a true crime drama. They saw it as a teen romp of some sort.

About Dark Matter, I do like stories about the Multiverse. Like the one based on Thor’s brother, Loki.

Starting mile three…

Apparently, there’s no season two coming as of yet for Dark Matter, and he won’t say at this time.

I agree with the author that in his stories, he likes to leave things open ended, and then hand the baton over to the reader. I like to do that with my own stuff. “In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear“ that story can continue. But you could also argue that it does have an end.

I’ve been wanting to have spaghetti and meatballs lately so yesterday I did. Also drank a half bottle of Malbec red wine. Great fun lunch. Had some fun dessert. But then suffered for in histamine levels I think from the red wine. Had to take half a Benadryl in the evening. Then before bedtime another half. Good times.

I don’t know if that’s a leftover from long Covid or still some long Covid happening. If it's temporary or permanent. But histamines are a big deal with long Covid. It gives you a feeling that is uncomfortable to the point of thinking that something serious is happening.

Anyway, also took half a melatonin (2.5 mg) and I was able to sleep through the night. Woke up feeling an allergy hangover though, maybe a histamine hangover.

I do not feel like walking 3 miles today, as I am. But here I am.

Since I’m having trouble reading anymore, I should make a list here of fun sci-fi TV shows I’ve been watching. Because of long Covid and Covid starting in February 2020 when I first caught it, I’ve watched more TV in a shorter span of time than in my entire life at any one point. That being said, I have tried to learn from it since I do write screenplay and make films. I also watched a bunch of "the making of shows." Love those.

Let's see, sci fi/fantasy  shows I've been watching that I like in no specific order.
  • Silo
  • Dark Matter
  • Various MCU shows
  • Various Star Trek shows
  • Various Star Wars shows
  • Snowpiercer (thought the concept, ridiculous, but still watched the film & TV shows.
  • Fallout
  • Beacon 23
  • 3 Body Problem (Or another version, Three Body, in Chinese)
  • Outer Range
  • Sweet Tooth
  • The Umbrella Academy
  • Orphan Black
  • The Boys
  • For All Mankind
  • Foundation
  • Monarch
  • Severance
  • See (thought the concept ridiculous, but very well done show)
  • Hello Tomorrow
  • Wheel of Time
  • Game of Thrones (obviously)
  • House of Dragons
  • The Last of Us
  • Peripheral
  • Carnival Row
  • American Gods
  • Good Omens
  • Outlander
  • The Magicians
  • The Witcher
  • His Dark Materials
  • Russian Doll
  • The OA
No doubt I'm forgetting a few. Not to mention some you should already know like Stranger Things, or Supernatural, or many of the standards. I'm focusing more on the streaming shows here. So many more than I'd realized. So much great stuff to watch. 

Blake also says he thinks his show exploited the subject matter of the book better than he had. For instance, the primary nuclear family in the story has one son in the book. But at some point in the show, they are a family of four. And that does make the show more interesting. Blake is talking about the difference between writing a novel and producing a show. 

Which has a lot to do with why my own Bodyguard screenplay has yet to be made into a movie. It could’ve been a movie already at this point, I just had to say yes. The director was interested. The producer was excited about it. But that was off the screenplay I rewrote with the producer's input. 

I now call my screenplay "the original". Which is far more historically accurate. My first drafts were more like a docudrama. Lost that format very quickly. But I tried to stay true to the facts. So the screenplay is pretty accurate up to about the halfway point where it becomes necessary to fictionalize somewhat because it is after all an entertainment narrative film.

There were things about the lead female character I simply didn’t know about. So as difficult and frustrating as it was, I took my best guess, and I think what I wrote was entertaining and bittersweet.

When producer Robert Midas read the screenplay the first time he said when he got to the end, his heart broke. That was my goal, at least in part for the story. Because that’s how that story goes.

I think in a different kind of genre I would’ve written it for a feel-good ending. But I was trying to write it for what was more realistic.The world that woman had lived in was very realistic. People were abused, people died.

I think the final scene would’ve been one hell of a scene for a movie's post-credit position. So after turning down three directors, I stopped getting calls from Robert and I started to pursue my original screenplay again. He's a very nice guy. Good at his job. I liked working with him. 

I’ve sent both screenplays off to screenplay contests and so far my version has won more awards. So I think the problem was that Robert was simply trying to make a screenplay, a spec script, that would sell. And it did. But his view of production was at a far lower level than what I see for it as a film. Maybe he's the more realistic one and it will never get made. If not, that would be too bad.

I’m thinking $5 to $7 million and I think he was thinking around 1 million. Take or leave a few hundred thousand. Better to leave a few. But I think that doesn’t do the story justice. I think that doesn’t do the lead female character, justice, and over time I’ve gotten to where I more wanted this to be her story being told, more than my own. I didn't write it from her perspective because I know this story from my own experience in living it.

Originally it wasn’t my story I wanted to get out so much as I wanted to get something produced to acquire some money toward my retirement. Because in the last 20 years, things were rough as a single parent. All of my 401(k) retirement is gone now. Which is fine as my kids are up and living on their own, functional and happy as adults. But we had some rough years there.

Now I have Social Security and my original retirement from the 1990s that was shut off when they switched to a 401(k). So luckily, I still have that but at some point, especially with how politics are going and some wanting to kill things like Medicare and Social Security. Or that Social Security is having problems because of the baby boomer generation being so large… I still don’t quite understand that. If we paid our retirement into Social Security, where the hell is our money in that we won’t be getting it all? Or what?

As I understand it instead of getting increases in Social Security every year, soon we’re going to get decreases. Fun.

So yeah, let's make some money!

I did pretty good this week getting the blog articles up from a walk every day of the week at 6 AM. Missed today's though. I didn’t get around to working on the blog until after lunch and by then the wine had taken affect and I had another extra glass. Usually, I get two meals out of one bottle of wine. Two glasses for the one meal leaving two more for the next one. But I was having so much fun, I took a little bit more and then a little bit more up to less than another full glass. But as I’m learning, especially with red wine nowadays due to whatever reason, if I go over two glasses, I’ll regret it at bedtime.


It’s interesting to think in the Multiverse there’s another version of me somewhere from decisive moments in my life that failed where they succeeded for them elsewhere. I can think of at least three times in my life that, I had something gone the other way, I would have made a lot more money. 

In 1980 I almost published a manual with Digital Equipment Corporation's Digital Publishing with a book I wrote based on a wordprocessor app on the VAX 11/785 mainframe. But because I pointed out where their bugs were and how to get quickly past them, which usually took people hours, Digital proper got pissed off and threatened me. Literally threatened me. They said if I tried to publish it elsewhere, they’d crushed me and they could do it. That was a comedy of errors, that whole process.

I had written a manual that two major Seattle hospitals loved and used for years after I left that job. The Digital publisher said I would be making about $50,000 a quarter with worldwide sales of the manual going out with every VAX computer and PC they sold. Then things changed.

He had told me to rewrite the manual, not to use the specialized format I composed that everyone LOVED. He showed it to Digital Equipment and they didn’t like it. They suggested a way that I had originally designed it to be! And then the bugs were their final straw. You did not admit, surely not in a manual, to having bugs in your software, if you were DEC, back then. 

Dialing into our modem. We caught Digital one time dialing into our modem, applying a patch that brought the mainframe down the next day for two hospitals: UWMC and HMC who we supported. I actually worked for the University of Washington's MCIS handling Pathology and Radiology for those two hospitals

Digital denied putting in the patch. But we could clearly see it in the logs. So my manager said always to keep the modem turned off. They'd have to call and ask us to turn it on for access from now on. And that fixed that. They were kind of shady back then and now? They’re out of business.

When I decided to look for another job from that position, all the jobs around Seattle, all the available jobs were for people who could run IBM mainframes.

So things in my life like that screwed up. What if in another universe, I had fixed those issues and they published the manual? My whole life would’ve changed. I would’ve still gotten divorced though perhaps not for a few more years. Maybe she wouldn’t have become the alcoholic she did, that she was trying so hard to be when we were married, and that I could not see.

Maybe my oldest son wouldn’t have some emotional issues because of when he had been with his mom. Then maybe I wouldn’t have married my last wife which also gave my son even more issues because they hated each other. He was challenging and she didn’t have the maturity or expertise to handle him. My youngest son would be gone now though. I’m pretty sure. Because they had said if I hadn’t been there after the divorce, they wouldn’t be alive now. So maybe things are just how they're supposed to be...

On that note, I’ll bid you adieu…and leave you with that.
It’s noon and time for lunch.

Cheers! Sláinte!

Wednesday, June 26, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #90

Thoughts & Streams of Consciousness, rough and ready, from award-winning filmmaker/author you’ve never heard of while walking off reality, vestiges of long Covid halflife while listening to podcasts. Walking day: Monday, June 24, 2024.

Weather for the day… nice day, starting out, 59° overcast cool a bit too windy 65° back at home.

Podcast is Rachel Maddow presents Ultra ep., Malmedy Everybody should listen to this podcast. It's our history. It's current. It's a great example of how what is happening today, what has happened before and we should be concerned, aware, and understand, that it can't happen again, or where it failed before, it needs to fail now.

Well, this is interesting. My friend and fellow indie director Kelly Hughes called last night and we talked for a couple hours. He told me about a guy he interviewed who said he found some spare footage lying around, threw it together in a day put it up online and it’s on Amazon Prime now. He’s already made $20,000 off it so far.

I put a lot of effort into my films and it's paid off critically as far as winning awards around the world. But it hasn’t turned into any kind of economic success. In fact, all I’ve been doing is spending money on them.

So it occurred to us both that we may have enough footage just lying around, we could slap something together (separately), and produce something interesting.

My documentary film has issues with music rights. An accident, where I thought I had the public domain but it turned out I didn’t...for one song. For the primary song, 17 minutes of my 28-minute documentary. I tried to negotiate with NAXOS but got nowhere. They were nice however and informative. I did find a free legal service for help on this kind of thing.

For that film and my film noir, the issue seems to be that I’d pushed my video editing software so far to the edge that it caused issues related to configuring for streaming to get up onto platforms like Amazon Prime, or Filmhub, a distributor.

So what if I took some simply produced film and got that online on some streamer like Amazon Prime? We’re looking into that now.

That guy he had interviewed has videos up on YouTube about all this kind of thing and more.

Oh, I noticed MAGA and Trump supporters are pushing out a lot of nonsense that Trump had never said neoNazis and white supremacists are "very fine people", because Snopes has now discredited that. Uh huh...

By the way, in America 1 in 10 are diagnosed with mental illness. According to NIMH 1 in 5 Americans are living with mental illness. The estimate is that 50% of Americans with mental illness are undiagnosed. Donald Trump is one of those. Even his niece Mary Trump, a retired psychologist, author and podcaster, recognizes her uncle's pathologies. Mary Trump worked for one year at the Manhattan Psychiatric Center while working on her PhD research. She is a contributor to the book Diagnosis: Schizophrenia, published by Columbia University Press in 2001. She has taught graduate courses in developmental psychology, trauma, and psychopathology. Thus she has some bone fides, especially in being a family member and knowing Donald Trump very well over her lifetime.

The problem there is that we’re dealing with mafiaSpeak or mobSpeak in how Trump lingo speaks around things, is designed to avoid accountability or legal repercussions. Fundamentally to protect himself as mobsters do, against being recorded or relayed in court, regarding crimes being committed. Damn, has no one seen a mob, mafia, or organized crime movie? Watch any crime film and you see them doing exactly that. Listen to those like Michael Cohen who repeatedly said that’s exactly how Trump speaks... in code.

So when you read what Trump said or watch a video of him saying there were "very fine people on both sides", it doesn’t matter that he didn’t exactly say he was talking about... neoNazis and white supremacists. Even when immediately after that he said the exact opposite, that those people should be prosecuted.

So yes, technically Snopes is right. While fundamentally flawed and 100% incorrect

Therein is the big problem with Donald Trump on our political scene.

When he says things like that, those people clearly hear what he is saying. We’ve even heard they said they heard it, that they got his message and were cheering and celebrating. They had parties over it. The fact that he denied them after his initial comment is something they discredit themselves. It's irrelevant to them. They don’t buy into his denials. They received his message. We received it. But fact-checkers and the law haven't? Can't? That, is a problem. Yes?



So in our supporting his contentions that he never said that or he never meant that, is disingenuous at best and disinformation at worst. We have to get a handle on this. Because he’s walking right over a lot of of our historical protections, social contracts and of course, he’s always abused legal contracts.

As I’ve said in previous blogs about Soviet and Russian disinformation and espionage tactics, I find it a bizarre reality today, and in recent history, that what I read and studied being done by Russia to other countries, even to their own citizens, is now rampant in America by the Right, and has spread among countries of western democracy. When that happens, who do you look to? Enemies of democracy, obviously.

Which brings us back to Rachel Maddow's podcast, Ultra. About how this all happened decades ago, before I was even born, before she was born. But if hindsight is foresight, we’re watching this all come on again. We been here before. We're hearing about it. We have to act to stop it.

Before I make this next brief aside, let me say I took "criminal evidence for police" with a bunch of Tacoma Police Department Sergeants at Tacoma Community College when I was about 18. They were probably looking to better themselves for promotion. Our teacher was Joseph Wambaugh's partner in LA for years. Joe was incredibly famous for writing "The Blue Knight" and "The Onion Field" (made into a film), and TV shows like "Police Story".

I took the TPD police tests (written and obstacle course_ at 19, and was their best time on the obstacle course that day by quite a bit. I made #350 out of 650 applicants. I didn't have a chance, but wanted to take the test anyway. I entered USAF as Law Enforcement that next year (I was going to get a job dammit!). But lost the slot for LE during Basic due to having flat feet which should have kept me from enlisting, but the doctor at my physical told me to keep on my socks if I wanted to get in. I was initially tested and vetted for the USAF OSI which was a lot to was over a month or so. However, once accepted I decided to separate from service and go to college. There's a lot more to the why of that but this is the short version. Finally, my university degree is in psychology. 

OK so, here's what I wanted to say with those caveats now stated...America needs to become more familiar with the signs of both criminal behavior and mental illness. Because when observing (or hearing about) Donald Trump's behaviors and at times speech, all you can see (or hear) are obvious examples of those two behaviors. At least it's obvious to me.

Speaking of Russia, Ukraine has made some great advancements, and apparently some others disconnected and unconnected from Ukraine in having attacked some religious groups recently in Russia. Some Russian government officials are now trying to blame Ukraine for that. Figures. Like MAGA only in Russia, with Putin rather than the dumber Trump. It just doesn’t make any sense that Ukraine would be doing that. When they’re doing things far more effective and taking out Military resources in Ukraine belonging to Russia and as well within Russia

As I recently joked about war criminal Putin's illegal Ukrainian war:
Russia: What can we do to fuck ourselves?
Putin: Let’s attack Ukraine!

I just saw a claim by someone saying that World War III began in 2015 indicating a certain situation had indicated that (sorry, can't remember what it was). I would argue that it started in 2014 when Russia invaded Ukraine but no one did anything. Or in 2008 when Russia attacked Georgia. Seeing a pattern here?

I learned even in the schoolyard as a child with bullies, if you don’t put them down ASAP, settle in for a rough ride if not a life of abuse and punishment. Punish them or take the punishment. We did not stop Putin before, we’re only starting to stop him now, while we should’ve started pushing back HARD two years ago, at least. For those who claim we shouldn’t help Ukraine or shouldn’t Stop Putin, they might as well not be Americans. I wanted Hilary to win rather than Trump, in part to be someone who would handle Putin and not play out a modern Neville Chamberlain scenario all over, again for all Western democracies.

I know they think they are American and patriots but when you follow the preferences of your country's enemies, how does that make you either American or patriot? It may make you a nationalist or Christian nationalist, neither of those being badges to wear with honor. Certainly not the way they are being executed by the MAGALoon Trump contingent.

SUV just drove by me and I got a strong whiff of vanilla. Perhaps a vanilla latte? Nice.

Starting mile two.

 Wondering if I should start doing 4 miles instead of 3 at some point if I’m walking this daily? Perhaps I should wait a couple of weeks to decide? Because there’s no sense in walking 4 miles if 3 does what I need. It saves me time and it saves me effort. Years ago I was using my elliptical at home doing about two hours at a time. I read some research that seemed valid and said I was wasting my time beyond 45 minutes for what I was trying to achieve. So I cut back to 45 minutes. And it seemed just fine

Rachel’s podcast, this episode about Malmedy is interesting. This often happens with her podcasts. It’s better if you just listen to the whole season because it’s stunning, informative and necessary.

I was just thinking about MAGA who can’t seem to see reality, at times “can’t see the forest for the trees.“ I’ve always seen that as relative to the Republican party. They get so involved in the specifics, the trees, they can’t see where they are any more, or what path they are on, which is the forest.

Which is ironic because they’re so into the "end justifies the means". Do whatever it takes  to win, ethics or morality be damned, as long as it harms any or all others other than themselves...of course.

They do seem to get on a path and ideology, and nothing else deters them, even the reality of them being off course, at times. "Mission creep" can be a horribly dangerous thing. Donald Trump (and MAGA) seem to depend a lot on mission creep as well as “throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks.“ This goes back to his “very fine people on both sides“ statement. He throws everything out there and says both sides of the coin, the true and the false, the good and the bad. For others it is seen as insane. When he does that, with his people? It actually supports their belief in his lies evermore.

And that seems to us who are against him, against his lies, against his criminal behaviors and actions, so very obvious.

It’s interesting in this episode of Ultra, how it’s based around a person who saw himself as a Confederate, who was sympathetic to Germany in post-WWII. Who he saw growing up in his American South, how it was once occupied by the North after the Civil War, a similarity with Germany at the end of World War II. And they tossed that guy into the Nuremberg Trial?

I say it’s interesting because so much of the postbellum South held onto their bigotry, racism, and the belief of being right as slaveholders. Having that taken away from them, many remained allergic to those if not merely different from them, certainly people different from them with dark skin.

All of which seems to have been folded into MAGA, either purposely by Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, and Stephen Miller. I assume Trump did it inadvertently, though he incorporates those beliefs purposely by his political "button men". These are despicable people, just as Hillary Clinton had stated. Conflating it to those who support them wasn’t wholly incorrect about them. Or their illiberal, authoritarian mindset which she was 100% correct about.

Starting mile three…

Rachel’s podcast episode I believe may be detailing the beginning of disinformation in American jurisprudence. Which expanded into actual Nazi murderers and war criminals in Germany seeking a way out of their crimes.

While disinformation has probably been around for thousands of years, I would say the Russians, then Soviets, and then Russians again, are the ones who really perfected it. Great Britain dealt with this and them for over 100 years and became the experts in counter-disinformation, and counter-espionage against Russian disinformation efforts. If not countering it, certinly being able to recognize it and act accordingly.

America learned from Great Britain about Russian disinformation. But even if you’re an expert at countering it, it’s difficult to contend with. As we’ve seen with Donald Trump, MAGA, and their Republican party, ever since the early '90s really, we haven't been able to figure it out very well at all.

We may even now be experts about it in our intelligence community which doesn’t translate out to our public media, or our individual citizens, or political parties.

We have historically been careful about this information within political leadership. Politicians were historically careful about what they said because they KNEW it's not hard to start trouble or cause harm or death. Trump seems not to care about that, and the same with his MAGA leadership. It has been evolving to show disinformation can profit those like Donald Trump who just happened to hit the scene at the right time, with the right skills of a juvenile bully, and the right utter lack of ethics.

Willis Everett, the Southerner Rachel is talking about, came up with a disinformation idea for the criminal Nazis, to help get them off from being executed, after having been convicted and the case three times reviewed. He should probably have a statue in a museum of jurisprudence disinformation. Donald Trump'sstatue should be right next to him on the political side of things. But also in a museum of mob bosses, in having gotten away with so much, for so long, and as well as a Russian "useful idiot", who actually made it, somehow to POTUS.

To be clear, you know you’ve gone off the rails when you successfully get Nazis off for war crimes. Or Donald Trump off for his crimes as president. Or pardon someone like President Nixon for his crimes. While Ford told us back then, because I remember it happening, that he pardoned Nixon because he feared it would tear America apart otherwiwse. Looking back on it now, I don’t think he was correct. I think he should’ve let Nixon suffer the consequences. Because he was not looking at America, he was not looking at our future, he was looking at our past and he was looking at America during his presidency. And that was vapidly myopic.

Consider that Hitler’s Nazis and German supporters during and before World War II were national socialists. Today we have Christian nationalists supporting Donald Trump. We have white supremacists supporting Donald Trump. Nazis were white supremacists and the actual gold standard for eugenics. Nazis were also Christians. And I would assume Christian nationalists. While not all Trump supporters are religious bigots or proponents of eugenics, all those types do seem to support him.

It’s good to know that softer, more modern neo-Nazis in America claim to not believe in eugenics. But in enabling them under Donald Trump and giving them free license as we’ve seen comes to harm others they don’t like, even to kill them? I would assume eugenics and such concepts have been on the rise with such ignorant lowlifes since Trump in 2015.

Interesting, I just hit my home block in being done with my 3 miles for the day and a light breeze blew an obvious but not unpleasant odor of patchouly.

One last thing...
Hollywood Horror Museum @horrormuseum
Of all the scenes cut from Aliens, this was the biggest mistake.
Sigourney Weaver was furious and hurt, because it was the whole point of her character. It's often said that cutting this scene is what lost her the Oscar.
But Fox insisted.

On that note, I’ll bid you adieu…and wll leave you with that. It’s noon and time for lunch.

Cheers! Sláinte!

Wednesday, May 15, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #75

Thoughts & Stream of Consciousness, rough and ready, from an award-winning filmmaker and author you’ve never heard of, while walking off long Covid, and listening to podcasts…day of walk, 5/14/2024

Weather for the day… starting out, 56° nice sunny day 72° upon returning home

Podcast Marc Maron ep. 1538 - A. Whitney Brown

So May 9, 2024 Roger Corman died. I grew up watching his movies. Thank you.

Marc on the podcast will interview A. Whitney Brown at his home in Austin, Texas, which is cool because I remember him well mostly on SNL (boy he had some interesting things to say about Dennis Miller, whom I had liked until more recent years when he turned into a braindead conservative of sorts...now I know why). But then Marc talks about being at the rock museum or something and someone pulls out a bunch of cool stuff, showing him things that’s pretty cool to hear him talk about.

Interesting story about Marc’s stand-up (sitdown?) show, when a guy yelled out “fuck you“ as Marc starts talking about "Jew stuff" (being Jewish) as he put it. After talking for a while about the event he said, "I don’t know. Maybe the guy just got triggered."

I do get a kick out of, after an entire lifetime of venerating, enjoying, and watching those who entertained me, to now hear the background stories to all of those things and those times in general. This is a good podcast.

I guess as someone born in the mid 1950s, growing up through everything I had, getting "triggered" was a luxury. I never understood those knuckle draggers who just spent their egos all over anyone in range, picking fights, arguing, generally showing their ignorance and using their egos like cheap, bad guy perfume (when real mean wear cologne, you see).

I spent most of my life biting my tongue about things I wanted to speak out about. I was raised to be polite, to fit into situations. Speak up for yourself, to be sure (if you met my mother, she lived that). Over time as society evolved, where eventually you could do that and feel somewhat protected, somewhat so in a group, to the point that you can often say it when you’re alone against some other person or even to a group...maybe. 

Some of us have enough privilege that we can walk away from those sitautions alive, or to at least survive the ensuing hospital visit, while some of us, won't, don’t, can't. All for what? An opinion? An orientation? Because you were born into who you are? WTF? What is wrong with some people's children? Like MAGA who punched people in a Walmart for wearing a covid mask. WHY? Who made you the fasion police, because that's what you're doing/being. That is, an asshole.

I have trouble with the word "triggered". "Activated" perhaps...activated? Someone came up with a better word but I can’t remember if it was "activated" or not. But to me "triggered" is not a lack of self-discipline, an issue of poor personal restraint, but something that goes to the root of one's soul. Something one truly can have no control over. While often today what we from many people being “triggered “is about shit that they just want to feel triggered over, or to let go, to respond to aggressively over for a variety of reasons. How can so many, have so many issues/problems. Some do, to be sure. I feel for them. But for too many? I suspect it's poor parenting. Perhaps not putting your kids through enough trials, to help them evolve to be strong individuals. To pay attention to that, to mature into it.

Fully, I agree some people should say things they say that trigger people. But we shouldn't get triggered. Annoyed, upset, irritated? Sure. Respond intelligently? Cleverly counter stupidity, ignorance? Sure. But we're not doing that as often as I'd like to see anymore. Not that we were even a race of geniuses about that kind of thing.

I'm not a person to say the kids are weak, stupid, whatever. We've evolved. Both sides however need to grow into these times so we're all more reasonable, aware, understanding, comprehending. That ain' "woke". Though on the other hand, "woke" is just better aware. What the Buddists (Buddha Dharma) refer to as Zanshin, or Enlightenment. React appropriately because you understand, or don't react until you do. React because you do, not react and realize later, you don't.

Both sides could toughen up a little. Especially, those who resent simply being better aware of other's needs who are less considered. 

I suspect there are many people who think they’re triggered in the way that they believe Black or Gay people have a life choice of who they are. It’s nice we can speak out more freely now. But too often people are speaking out when they should keep their damn mouth shut. Sorry, but MAGA comes to mind.

Too many delusionally believe (I'd say think, but I'm unsure where thinking comes into it) we live in a theocratic or totalitarian state where they are part of the majority. Which doesn’t matter then as long as you’re part of your beloved leader's group. Until he (probably "he") goes psychotic and you become part of those, as in the USSR when Stalin slaughtered at least 9 million citizens (somewhere between 6 and 20 million). Fun times. Authoritarianism. Yay! Rise up authoritarian autocrats! It’s all, fun and joking until you are the one that gets tossed in the camps, or shot in the back of the head after being dragged out of your bed at 2 AM while your spouse and children watch. Then it’s not quite so much fun.

Stalin by the way practiced the fun form of government called (wait for it) Stalinisn:

Key characteristics of Stalinism include:


ANY of that sound familiar to any current America FPOTUS now in his own personal criminal trial with more trials to come?

Anyway, I think we need to be less triggered. 

And I agree we need to do less canceling. 

There’s a difference between confronting, or refusing to accept a concept. Than simply ignoring it utterly, or refusing it to be brought into the light were it tends to die after a while. I attribute that to a lack of patience in today society about the bad things we don't like and about the wrong things we think if you won't talk about them or refuse to acknowledge them, they'd go away. We really need to get that straight in our heads. You addrews evil, civily. When it becomes murderous, you act accordingly. You act proactively, in ways that are more intelligent than less. Holding your breath until it goes away? Is no solution.

So I’ve been doing these "Walkabout Thoughts" for a while now. Which, as you may know, started with my trying to walk off symptoms of long Covid and found that it worked. Somewhat (some is better than none) If I just walked enough miles. Before it would take me a few days to get around to doing a read through of my podcast thoughts and walking ruminations, toward getting it to a functional point of anyone else reading it. Now I’m often doing it the same day, putting it out the next day, at 6am in the morning. I’ve had my overall Murdockinations blog around for 13 years now? Something like that.

There was a time where a lotta people around the world were reading it. I think my biggest readership was during the Arab Spring when a lot of Egyptians were having trouble accessing information in country or about their country. So with this current rendition of my blog, with these "Walkabouts Thoughts", which I intersperse with various oddities intermittently, once the blog hits the internet and goes live, I then share it on social media. And I pretty quickly get hits by people reading it. It was nice to see this morning when my previous blog went live, even before I could share it I noticed there were already people reading it. Tthank you for that! Actually, I still haven’t shared that one on social media today, I forgot.

As for those intermittant blogs between these "Walkabouts", some recent ones include:
Anyway. Moving on…
Wow. A. Whitney Brown only got as far as eighth grade? He was always a really sharp guy. I always thought he was more educated. He just had that air. I guess like Dennis Miller. And according to Brown, yeah, book and it's cover, and all that...

A. Whitney Brown left home in 1968 at 15, leaving behind the kerosene lamps and outhouse and his family who was falling apart through alcoholism and mental institutions and he headed up to Canada to a rock festival with Steppenwolf and some of the people that were there were not long after a Woodstock. Then he went to Woodstock. How was that? Damn. Pretty cool.

My older brother is about his age. He had a band with my sister in the 60s. I think I remember him talking about wanting to go to Woodstock, to some big festival the entire country of young were headed to and it was going to be awesome! But he couldn’t get the money together and didn't go. He later regretted that.

For Whitney, he said LSD saved his life and that Woodstock had a lot of psychedelics. For me, I refuse to do that or heroin until I got out of high school. My brother turned me onto cannabis when I was 16, the summer before 12th grade (I turned 17 within a week). Graduated 1973 having tried weed for the first time with my brother that time in Phoenix on the way home that summer from Cape May, New Jersey where I was surfing with my cousin. My older brother lived in Arizona for about seven years. I went home and immediately stopped doing all the pills I was doing back then, which was gonna lead me to early grave. I didn’t get into psychedelics until I think '74 when I graduated,got a job, and moved out to my own apartment that summer of 73. Friend of mine turned me onto his fiancé’s girlfriend who was living a block away and who I eventually married.

I had acquired some acid from somewhere that first time. I wanted to try it, but was afraid to. But my girlfriend said she had done it before a few times and she would stay with me that night and what a great night that was. Then I really got into it over the next 10 years or so until the 80s when cocaine came on the scene. While there was still acid, more so... mushrooms. I’d have to say over the 70s and 80s I tried a lot of things. Make a good book or a movie, maybe.

As happened to Whitney as detailed on the podecast, I wonder if I can find a single moment in my life that I can trace everything back to when it changed everything? I want to say yes, but I also want to say, probably multiple episodes of that. I suppose the situation I mentioned above with my brother and the first time I tried weed in Phoenix, actually Mesa, Arizona, obviously changed my life (for the better) because I truly believed I probably would’ve done the wrong pills, probably with some alcohol, over that next year and never graduated. Or made it into the next yeara. I had a serious belief back then that I'd never live until 21. That belief freed me up to do a lot of crazy shit. Though I hadn't accounted for something. I think the reason I survived that, the crazy shit, was because I’d had so much professional training, already. 

Martial arts in grade school and early junior high, fighting tournaments, under a world class Sensei. Military training, search and rescue, and first responder first aid in Civil Air Patrol in Junior high when I flew and landed my first airplane, and took ground school. And damn just so much stuff. I used to say by the time I graduated high school had done more (back in 1973) than many adults had done in their entire lives. I mean, I wrote a screenplay about part of that, “The Teenage Bodyguard. “An internationally awarded screenplay, actually with a known Hollywood producer attached to it...if we can ever get it sold and find the right damn director who has a vision at least somewhat similar to mine, in telling a story of what actually happened, rather than trying to make it into a simple money making vehicle (That is, money, nice!). I mean, dude! Let’s do both!

Shhhh… Don’t tell anyone, the screenplay I wrote was my own biopic for a week of my life in the 70s. Apparently it’s bad form to let people know you’re the screenwriter for a story about you. I don’t know why it should matter. (no, I DO, with generally so many bad screenplays...I do get it, bad screenwriter, bad story, producer's/director's wasted time, they do get hammered with nonsense...)

But I have a university degree in psychology and phenomenology, both good training for self discovery, and professional observation and reportage. I’m also an award-winning writer/screenwriter and the screenplay is a multiple award winner. Now, if I can just sell the damn thing. So if you know any good preferably known, directors…

I pitched that bodyguard concept to a producer in London long ago now. I had adapted a paranormal romance novel to screenplay format, at the authors request. Which got me in touch with him. He asked, "What else do you have?" I told him I’ve got these written screenplays and I have these ideas that I’m thinking about writing. He said, "If you ever write that idea, “the teenage bodyguard", I want to see it first."

I’m not stupid. Over the next 19 days I wrote it as fast as I could and got back to him. That was no where near as good as it is now, by the way.

This was a while back I don’t know 2012 maybe. He said, "Thanks, I'll send it off to the readers and see what they say." And then, I never heard from him again. Over the next years I reworked that draft. I hadn’t send him my first draft, I sent my second. Never send your first draft to anyone. I  eventually worked with screenplay consultant Jennifer Grisanti and that producer I mentioned above, Robert Mitas, who still produces alongside producer/actor Michael Douglas. Loving his new series on Apple+ streaming about Ben Franklin in France.

Anyway, that London producer disappeared. Eventually, I tried to track him down. What I found was, he was actually a micro producer on very tiny projects. Too small for this story.Maybe he could have been a good connection, networking and all. I don't know. So I moved on.

Oh, one thing I did want to say about that London producer was, I offered to change the title. I thought it was too obvious. But he said he loved that title. Don’t change it, he said.It says everything right there. He also said the storyline reminded him of “The Place Beyond Phe pines". So I went and watched that movie and loved it and it re-oriented me on my screenplay. My first draft was trying to be a biopic, a dramatic documentary. I was trying to stick to the truth. But that’s not entertaining. That’s a documentary, which while it can be entertaining as a documentary, I was shooting for something else.

It’s a true crime genre film and a biopic. But that seemed to be working against me so I came to wonder, is it a biopic if it’s only covering one week of someone’s life? Nope. But the thing is, for people to accept the protagonist, they had to know his background so they would buy it all, buy into what they were seeing? So after years of not realizing I shouldn’t call it a biopic, I started calling it a true crime drama. 

Now I think I have a better chance at a director seeing what I'm hinking and take it seriously as a drama. Not to mention it actually happened as a true crime story involving a 1973 Tacoma Washington mafia family. And this kid how protects witness who is running from that family, who owned the Tiki topless restaurant in Lakewood Washington, the  greater Tacoma area's first topless joint. I researched these guys for years and the more I found the more I was stunned.

Turned out there was a federal court trial of these guys that had to be moved to San Francisco and became national headline news, because they couldn’t trust Seattle/Tacoma government as the crime family had their fingers deep into the sheriff's office, the prosecutor, and maybe even the governor, or at least his office.

There is a fascinating book by a Seattle newspaper writer who did write a book about the greater Seattle area mafia families. Good book.

by Rick Anderson

Just passed my 2nd mile, working on my third, hoping to get a fourth. Not really feeling 100% though.

Whitney is now recounting his travels on the podcast at this point, so awesome.

That’s something, he said, maybe remember something. 

After I got divorced in 2002, whenever my kids would be away for the weekend, I would hit the bars in Seattle. All I did was commute 4 hours a day, work hard in IT, then raise my kids. No time for dating, or adult oriented fun. I had a lot of fun with the kids, but you know, you need to blow off steam in a novel environment once in a while.

With the kids gone, I would take the ferry over from Bainbridge Island, and try to hit every bar in Seattle... over time. I'd wear completely different clothes each time: Grunge one time, dressed to the 9s another. Had some adventures. There was one bar I liked, owned by a Russian guy. Called the "Backdoor". A block or two up the street from Pioneer Square, which is a big party bar venue area, with the bar right next to the Seattle underground light rail entrance, on an incline and across the street up above...the county courthouse. 

There were steps going down to the light rail and a few feet away the back door of the Backdoor with steps going up (like 60 steps, they were killer when you'd had a few or many). This place was often packed, I remember fighting to get to the bar to order another drink so I could talk to the Russian owner. I gave him my card and said, "You know what you’re missing here? A website." Why that’s memorable is I said that and he looked around at that packed little room off the dance floor, which was off the other bar on the other side side. Everything‘s packed with people (almost every time I was in there, the only time it wasn't was one day I wandered in around lunch time and people were sitting around eating lunches). He took the card, nodded his head, smiled and said, "OK." Never heard from him. Days later, I realized how stupid that was. Why the hell did he need a website when a lot of people still hardly knew what a website was. And with little marketing the place was always packed.

I forgot to mention that I rewrote my bodyguard screenplay with Robert Mitas’ input. I’ve sent them both off to screenplay contests and for whatever reason, my longer more accurate version has won more awards. Although that shorter collaboration screenplay in a better screenplay format to be honest, has also won a couple.

You see, what I came to realize, or believe anyway, with the rewritten version, it is a better spec script, better sellable script. And the problem with that is even if the true crime drama is not as easy to sell, I personally find it (and apparently others do as well) a far better story. And for how I am, a far more accurate screenplay, depicting more of what happened more accurately. I found it was funny because I had cards in the screenplay with dates and Robert thought that would confuse the audience. Too many dates and jumping around. I was telling my childhood in reverse and the criminals actions in real time leading up to the beginning of "the week". Sounds confusing, it's not. And since we re-wrote it I’ve seen a lot of movies that have cards on screen with dates and by cards I mean on screen text, or inserts (SUPERS). Since we re-wrote it, I've seen a lot of movies that have those and a lot that don’t... so I don’t know. I wonder if it isn't just personal preference.

Well? I’ve got until I die to sell the script and see it produced. So I’m giving it my best shot. I’ve submitted it to several companies just the past couple weeks. If only I knew who would be interested I'd send it to them. But that's every screenwriter's dilemma, isn't it. Of course the problem is not sending it, but it getting to them, whomever would care to see it. I find it ironic because true crimes pretty popular, so WTF is the problem?

OK, I just hit 3.5 miles. That means I’m guaranteed 4 miles plus today. Yay! 

Whitney has a good point on the podcast about Mark Twain who he said was a stand-up comedian but they called it lecturing back then. He said he was his hero as far as doing stand up. I love Mark Twain, always have. I never thought of him as a standup, but I’ve often thought that about quotes of his.

Whitney said nobody made him laugh harder than WC Fields. Regardless of anything about him, I have always enjoyed his work since I was a kid, love those old funny guys, and duos (or trios). I was a huge fan of Woody Allen since I saw his first film back in this 70s? Aside from my psychology degree at university and aside from my minor in writing and screen writing, I had focused on the cinematic works of Stanley Kubrick, Woody Allen, and Hitchcock. Since then as I found out about all three of those guys being...problematic...characters, in their personal or professional lives. So, what are you gonna do? No one‘s gonna give a shit 100 years from now when they view their works.

On that topic, I first ran into problematic professionals and their art when my beloved grandmother told me as a kid she didn’t like Charlie Chaplin. She’s been dead for decades now and I’ve since learned Charlie was greatly misunderstood and malaigned. Sigh...

So the way I look at it is if they’re still getting money (and they’re still alive) from their art, consider not giving them more money. But if they’re dead, I don’t know, fuck off? They’re historical at that point.

Whitney said: “the casual brutality of life, day-to-day.” “to respond to that with laughter, to turn that into laughter… “

That’s interesting. I’ve long thought about writing my autobiography and I’ve been storing notes anytime I write anything that’s historically correct about my history, just toward that. I found a lot of humor in the tragedy in my life. Not alot, not always big, but it's there. We all have it. The tiny tragedies just to us? Maybe I need to focus more on that. It’s funny because since I was much younger, like high school, I would tell friends things that happened to me and they'd be rolling in the aisles laughing about it. I’d be like... you think that’s funny? But I was in on the joke because I would laugh with them because you could see the absurdity. The whole pain and anguish plus time equals comedy, thing. I never quite knew what to do with that. How to turn it into money, or a living?

In my way of thinking, a lot of my fiction, of my published sci-fi and horror, has a lot of comedy in it. When I think back in my life to just about every time I almost died, there was always laughter or a chuckle involved first and then it happened. Giggle, giggle, grin, then Boom!

And I got in my 4 miles for the day [this now is from after I got home: I finally took my prevsious walk's steps of 3 miles and subtracted from today's and found the "steps" for 1 mile at 2,190 (I'm just calling it 2220 steps equaling a mile, for me)]

OK, so I’ll leave you with that. It’s almost time for lunch.
As always, I wish you all, all the greatest success and good health!
Just put in the time and effort for those successes.  
Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!

Friday, May 3, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #72

 Well, first day of a walkabout since catching covid the 3rd time. Got in 2 miles. Nice day, about 63 degrees, felt great. But I'm beat after a month of nothing except the store and doctors appointments.

Instagram video for the day.

Podcast Marc Maron WTF? with Episode 1535 - Tiffany Haddish

I have very little to say, just wanted to mention I got in a walk today.

I haven't been able to do any work of substance since end of last year really. Hoping soon. I was working on putting "Gumdrop", a short horror, up on Filmhub, but maybe not. They found too many problems for me to fix and I'm not sure I care. Kelly Hughes offered two other places to try, I may do that. 

Cheers! Wishing you all...all the best.

Sláinte!

Sunday, March 31, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #69

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…from a walk on Friday 3/29/2024

Very little if any politics in this one...

Weather for the day… starting out, 52° sunny with broken clouds

Podcast Marc Maron Episode 1525 - David Krumholtz

More of an art and reminiscent blog today...

First thing I'll say is at the end of the podcast where David says he sadly found a while back he has a disease. Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome: Causes, Treatment, and More
I agree with him about those like me who had smoked weed going back to the 70s that it's too strong anymore. They took medical cancer weed and weaponized it to what it is today. It was once fun, communal, a special thing to do with friends dodging police and everyone to avoid ruining your life. It WAS special. Now I just get the weaker stuff. I want to relax and be creative, not go comatose. Yes, we used to smoke our brains out, but you had to if you wanted to get blasted. If we had THIS weed back then? We wouldn't have needed as much. Less is better, potency is good as it's requiring less, but when some today smoke or vape it like we did back when, it ain't the same situation. Now it's just another drug. Fine, legal is better. I long fought for its legality. But it's just not the same. Anyway, thought people should know about this condition David has which he talks about right at the end of the podcast. Cheers!

I just wanna update something I said, I think in my last blog of my last walk about thoughts number 68 where I said when I was in the Air Force I got thin. My mom said I looked ill but I'd never felt that good in my life. I was also in a physically demanding job, packing parachutes and 228 pound B 52 drag chutes, anywhere from 3 to 14 a day, plus emergency and PJ chutes. What I wanted to update here was that I felt bad when my mom had said that. This was only a few years after my little brother died of liver cancer. And so my looking like a different person to her (she probably wouldn’t have said that if I had gained weight), it probably seriously disturbed and scared her. But the reason was oe found my wife had hypoglycemia and she became a vegetarian, and did all the cooking. When she asked if that was OK, I told her if it tasted good, I’d eat it, even though I do like eating meat. She was a good cook. With daily physical exercise and a lot of it, I’d come home and have to take a shower (more than anything because I reeked of JP-4 jet fuel exhaust from the B-52 drag chutes. Then I'd lay on our waterbed for a few minutes and turn on the vibrator because my muscles hurt. It would loosen me up and then I’ll be good for the rest of that day, or weekend. I got to where could pick up 556 pounds, with half each hand and walk two drag chutes out of the packing room into the pick up room. I once had a lighthearted contest with some PJs. These are awesome Air Force paramedics who jump into a combat zone and rescue the wounded. Talk about American heroes. These guys didn’t go in and fight to kill, they went in to fight to save lives. Sure, they'd kill people, but that wasn't their focus.

Recollecting those times, I told our boss one day that I had some philosophical issues working in an organization to support our air crews who flew to “melt entire cities” of men, women, children and the elderly. His advice was to stop thinking about that. “You’re a lifesaver. We’re survival equipment. Just think as far as your saving the lives of those we’re here to support, in case of war, who protect our country.” I had no choice either way but that really helped. Plus if a pilot or air crewmember ever used your chute you got anywhere from a bottle to a case of whiskey, depending on how much they revered their life, so…hey, I was like 20 at the time.

If a B-52 drag chute ever failed, there could be a potential nuclear incident at the end of a runway. So in a way I was also protecting the local community. In my case, Spokane, Washington at Fairchild Air Force base, in Washington state, a SAC, Strategic Air Command base. Which I don’t believe it is anymore.

I also had to cross train into our front shop in the building, inside our four World War II hangers, and so became a Fabric and Rubbergear Specialist as well as being a Parachute Rigger. Which I thought was a step down, working on environmental suits and life rafts and rubbergear. But then the guys in the front shop thought it was a step down to become a parachute rigger, so…

When I was Parachute Shop Supervisor later on, I got to train and certify parachute riggers for the Survival school, outback of the airbase, next to the POW Museum and where they did SERE training (Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape ). It was interesting times, in the Cold War. I even got to meet a Russian agent, an America, who was gathering ELINT, where he was hidden in a camper in the woods by the base. Nice guy. But I talked to the base about it and they just said, “Yeah, we know. There's a few of them. Not a problem.” I later ended up going through two months of OSI testing and interviews until they accepted me into the Office of Special Investigations (their FBI), but that’s another story that I’ve detailed elsewhere… did you know there was an FBI magazine? I used to read them sitting in the OSI lobby.

Got up today with a sinus headache. Kind of feeling like crap today, like I have been lately...long Covid. Gotta love it. First half mile on the walk today did not feel great. My heart felt uncomfortable, as it does but after the first half mile starting to feel pretty damn great, as this tends to go, every time.

On the podcast Marc’s guest (David Krumholtz) doesn’t like Greek food because the meat is always too dry and the spices. “They don’t believe in medium rare.” He also doesn’t like Mediterranean food. Mediterranean food, one of the healthiest diets on the planet. I love Mediterranean food, and I really like Greek food. Well, I like food. I've said I should probably be weigh a lot more than I do. But then I don't really eat that much. I love Thai food, it's probably my favorite. It was my grandfather‘s favorite and it took me years to find out why, and when I found out? Yep, I am my grandfather‘s grandson. But then he probably had been in Thailand back in the 1940s or 50s I know ha'd been to Mumbai (Bombay, when he was there) as I have film footage of him on a vacant main street there as a cow walked down the middle of the road in like, I don’t know, maybe the mid 1940s. Still hoping to do a documentary about him, but I have to get a lot more info from the government and submit some FOIA requests.

Anyway, I love trying foods from around the world. When I worked at the University of Washington in the mid to late 80s, after I left the Tower Records company (MTS Incorporated), which got me through college. Well my VA benefits got me through college, but Tower helped. And it helped buffer me a little financially in going from college into civilian life when I graduated. Which was kind of sad, but we had a good time and now I have a good community of Tower employee friends we know from back in the day. We just lost one of them recently, my best friend for many years and ex-roommate.

Anyway, when I was at the “Udub” (UofW) you could go up the “Ave” (University Way NE) in the “U District” and eat Thai food, or American food, or Ethiopian food, or all kinds of different things. Later in the 90s when I worked in Bellevue, Washington. It was the same thing. Walk a few blocks and you could get food really good food from all around the world. Very high end neighborhood. there. I parked below the building across the street from the building I worked in where there was a bank that I used. And in using that branch, who are used to big money types, I got to know. with my little money, what it was like to be treated with great respect. And it was amazing. I mean, I doubled my salary leaving the UW for US West Technologies, but made way less than some of those international types.

I parked in the basement parking garage, came up to the main floor of that building, got a coffee and you could stand there listening to people in expensive clothes, talking to one another in all kinds of different languages. It was amazingly cool, as I said. I would then cross the street to a building full of techs who all dressed pretty much like me, and the contrast was dark and kind of depressing. It was nice to be comfortable though. But you'd walk out of one building with beautiful people in incredible threads to a building of potentially smarter people, who really didn’t give much of a shit about fashion. But I have to say it was an amazing environment to work in and to be around all of those people, in both buildings.

Now starting my 2nd mile and feeling so much better already...

Marc’s podcast guest is David is telling a story about how his mom was a real bastard of a person but she should’ve been a comedian, in her own right. He said she liked to really take it out on his dad. She’d have him sit for her to draw a picture of him and then after like 20 minutes turn the picture around and it’s a cock and balls. And, she do that to her son, too. Man, I gotta wonder about what her issues must’ve been.

I’m gonna tell you what just happened: I’m using voice to text as I walk and talk on my iPhone 11. It’s still like brand new and I've had it for years so I don’t see upgrading it. Yet. I'm waiting for a software upgrade or something that turns it into it a brick. So I’m trying to tap on the text screen so I can type something manually and it messes up. So I tap it again, just as I realize I’m hitting, accidentally, text that says, paste. NO! When I started walking today, as I usually do from last time, I had gotten done walking, then at home I would email all this entire document to my laptop so I could create my blog off this document. Anyway, it was a long blog last time, longest this year, so far, and so it pasted that entire blog in the buffer still, back into this current document. So I had to go through the process of selecting only this part of that old text and delete it. And so I did. I then proceeded to do the exact same mistake and paste all over again!

Now when your walking this isn’t what you wanna be doing. I selected the whole slug of text again and deleted it again. Only this time I selected a single word and copied it. And so, here we are and now and finally we’re good to go. As I told an online author acquaintance, Mark David Gerson, in a posting today on Facebook where he said he’s working on a new book and suddenly thought of two great ideas for two new books but he’s begging his creativity to give him a break! My response to him was, “The trials and tribulations of the creative mind.” To which he laughed back at me.

It’s funny, he wrote his book that he’s still promoting, 10 years ago. Which of late has been getting some traction. I wrote my biggest and perhaps best book “Death of heaven “and published in 2012. Then revised it with an editor in 2014 and of course, I’m still pushing it. It’s up for two or three book awards this year because I finally got around to that. I'd tried to send it to book award a couple years after I published it, when I thought of it, but no one would take it because it hadn't been published within that past year, or that year. It’s gotten good reviews though and I do really like it. It’s an epic book on the order of “Three Body Problem” now on Netflix (great series, I also had just finished the 30 episode, Chinese version on Amazon Prime). It’s not as deep, but it’s as widespread in so far as history, and in my case, the history of the earth going back to before it existed, and then up to the present, where it may be at the end of it in the book. Or not.

So, Marc’s guest is also talking about his dad and how he was once at a restaurant and found a olive pit that he had crunched down on. he took it out and realized it was a pit somebody had expelled from an olive they were eating, probably kitchen crew, and he complained loudly to the waiter who said he must’ve put it in there. Which made him madder. It just reminds me of my mom who said she learned from our grandfather that “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” Growing up we kids hated hearing that.

I had finally told her one day that it doesn’t mean to whine and whine and piss people off just to get what you want (to be fair, too often in my life I wish I had been that squeaky wheel). My sister once told me that whenever she went to lunch with our mom, she always ended up sending her meal back. Because she figured, mom thought that’s how rich people acted. My sister finally retired after a lifetime as mostly a Senior Flight Attendant. She told me that she'd had meals with actual rich people and they did not act that way and would be humiliated doing something like that. I asked my mom about her behavior and just she said, “Well I get my way don’t I?” I didn’t give it much thought for years until Donald Trump came on the scene and I realized what a little little bitch that guy is. And that's all I'm going to say on that.

I have to say if you ever met my grandmother, who is kind of my second mom, thank God for her. She was self-educated and God I don’t know where my life would’ve gone without her. Then you look at my aunt, my mom‘s older sister, you could go, “OK I could see that. Mom and daughter.” But then you look at my mom and you look at my grandmother and you wonder, what the hell? Even my grandmother once said to me that there were times she wondered if before she left the hospital with my mom as an infant, if somebody hadn’t swapped her out. I can see that. But I also have to say I’d really rather have had my mom, as I did.

My cousin said recently, with what she went through with her mom, as much as she loved her, she loved coming over to our house because she could leave whenever she wanted but our house was so chaotic, it was fun. I liked going to stay at her house because her parents were so consistent and rational and I always knew what was coming, even if I didn’t always like it.

We are all afraid of my stepdad. Well, not so much my sister as he treated her the best. But then she was pretty awesome, still is. Our cousin had asked me some years ago: “What was the deal with you guys? You'd always send me to ask him things if you needed to talk to him?” Talking about the step-dad.

We told her that he’d give us a bunch of crap and we were scared of him He worked two jobs, was always tired and didn’t much like dealing with us kids. We knew if you talk to him, he would never say a cross word to you. And she said, “Oh yeah, my dad would’ve killed him.” There were times I wished her dad was my dad, but not so much her mom who was way too damn strict for my sensibilities.

I remember going over to her house in the 60s and they had plastic on the inside of their car doors (for resale value), and plastic covers on their furniture and she would (not really but kind of) follow us around with Lysol, cleaning all the time, as if we were just filthy little ragamuffins, which maybe we were. I suspect we had a better childhood though as I would get up in the morning, eat, leave the house and maybe come back for lunch, then come back before dusk. I’d have all kinds of adventures that I doubt she did. Though I'd have to ask her…

This is weird… I’m 68 1/2 now and I’m walking, feeling like every step I take is one step older… which I am. But then I guess that’s emotional while intellectually I’m feeling every step is making me younger in someway.

Because when I do get up to 5 miles, every other day, at least, I do feel so much better, healthier and stronger. And you might go, well, yeah! But long Covid makes this whole thing different. Damn, I was really hanging onto the thought that it would be gone within two years which is beginning of April. Not seeing that happen. The first time I think maybe, perhaps, possibly it was gone in 18 months? But then I wasn’t sure after that if I were catching something once in a while or what was going on. If this is going to go on until summer, or fall, I’m fine with that...as long as it goes… The… Fuck… Away! Ciao! Buh BYE!

I’ve been trying to use AI as much as possible to get used to it. Something I've done in having worked in technology. When something new comes up, I’m on the bleeding edge and I want to learn it before everybody else. I’m not so much into that bleeding edge stuff, anymore. I've been having a lot of problems with that anymore. I've tried using several AI now. Mostly I'm using “Copilot” and once they instituted that, it seemed to crippl it, now I have to argue with it. I have to fight with it at times, if I can even get it to do what I want sometimes. It’s so just being so overly careful about what it says now. It doesn’t just kick out actual information. It worries about politics or something. So it’s become a pain. Not always, just too much. I suspect it might be different on a personal install however.

I mention that because it will only let you post 4000 words in creative mode, or for the exact mode, 2000 words. I would like to just point it to a web site and say summarize this. But it wants you to paste it in its' little box and it doesn’t like going out to websites. What I would like to do with this blog, because these get kind of long. I’d like to tell it read my blog, then quickly summarize it and I could put that at the top. Then anyone coming to this blog could just look at the top and go, “nope not reading that today.” Or maybe, “absolutely, I gotta read this.”

My whole design on this walkabout concept, transcription and blogging, is to make it easy going, don't overthink it, don’t over edit it. Just try to make it readable and throw it out there and that’s what you get. That’s a certain kind of “thing” that’s more of an insight and survey of my thought processes in the moment. I find that interesting. But then I studied psych and phenomenology and perhaps that has something to do with that orientation?

I’ve said this before, about this blog versus my published writings. How this is designed. A blog that should be open ended, just a brain dump. There’s times where I want to read carefully instructed arguments. There’s times where I want to read somebody’s honest beliefs and thoughts, stream of consciousness. This is not the former, not well crafted, not highly edited, not carefully considered. Just another person talking.

Somewhere in the middle of those last few paragraphs, I started my 3rd mile...

This process is actually kind of fun. The biggest problem I have here in doing it is technology and time. While I’m talking, it stops recording me from time to time. I have to stop the recorder, restart it and sometimes it gets worse than that (reboot?). Then I have to get home, put it into my blog and be sure it’s not too embarrassing to read. Now it SHOULD be to some extent, by its nature. But if it's unreadable... no.

Marc's guest is talking here about “distancing himself from his Jewishness”, where they're both Jewish. As a kid I didn’t know much about Jews. But my family is from the east coast, Philadelphia, New Jersey, maybe New York. So growing up in the 1960s and 70s I’d been to the East Coast a bunch of times. Lived briefly in Philly. Manhattan. Jersey City. Cape May, New Jersey, where I learned to surf (thank you to my cousin Jeff).

One time when I was 12, maybe, I was in Philly, Cherry Hill I think it was, where my cousin lived with my aunt and uncle. He had a really cute next-door neighbor, a Jewish girl. I’m not gonna go into that story, but it is pretty funny and ironic. And I’ve talked about it elsewhere. My point is, I got to know some old Jewish women on those trips and one day I realize a little shocked, just how much being around them felt like I was around old Catholic women. It was from that date forward that I started to understand the Jewishness of Catholicism. Kinda. Any one who’s experienced this, knows exactly what I’m talking about. I told my mom about it when we got back to Tacoma, Washington in the 60s. She thought and said, “Yeah sure, I could see that.” And we both laughed.

David Krumholtz on podcast: “I am that Nazi propaganda poster. I can make that face… “ “I am a Jew. I am a proud Jew. The only Jew I have a problem with is myself.” He then says his mom was born in the country of Hungary.

My mom was born in Brooklyn. But her dad was born in Czechoslovakia in 1894. Which I understand hadn’t existed until after he was born (October 28, 1918) and doesn’t exist anymore, now being the Czech Republican (November 1989) which is really weird state of affairs. I mean he died in like '74, so I guess it doesn’t bother him either way.

Krumholtz said his dad’s family was born in Brooklyn.

Oh, I should mention this. “Three-Body”, The Chinese version of 30 episodes on Amazon Prime. I finished that last week. Lots of subtitles. Episode 13 in the last half is a subtitle nightmare. I tried to complain to Amazon so they can get it fixed but there seems to be no way. So I figured a way and shot them a message. We’ll see what happens. No actually, we probably won’t.

I heard Netflix had “3 Body Problem” coming out last Friday and produced by one of the guys from Game of Thrones. Loved Game of Thrones. Trying to like House of Dragons. But it ain’t no Game of Thrones. Not yet anyway, but I’ll keep watching.

Anyway, I finished the Netflix version and I really liked it. It was however interesting to have seen the previous version, first. This story is from a set of Chinese books and it has been made into one form of video or another since I think, 2004, several times. They made interesting choices in the Netflix version and I just got my son to start it and he just finished it. He and I constantly talk about quantum physics issues each from our own towns now. He has from his mother, probably, better math skills than me, and definitely artist skills because she was/is an artist (Clive Barker has a piece of her art, or he requested a copy of something of mine she made when I met him one time of several, so she made him on and I mailed it to him in London back then). I guess she still is an artist but she works in plants now at a store in our old college town up north. Anyway, he's way smart. I make a good sounding board because I’ve always had that talent. To take things I don’t understand and make them better. I'm very good at putting weird choices together and making them work well together.

One example was the last company I worked at, this in the early 2000s. I was a variety of things there, like webmaster, systems administrator, network admin, whatever. I supported the programmers. I walked over to a programmer's cubicle one day and she looked pretty frustrated. I asked, “What’s the problem?” She said she had a problem with the code and was stumped. I told her to show me. She said, “Do you know this programming language?” I told her no, but to show me anyway and so she did. I pointed at the code on screen and said, “There’s your problem.” She looked at me like I was nuts. Then looked at the code, looked it over a little harder. Looked back at me in shock and said, “You’re right, that IS the problem. But how could you know?” I said, “Well, it’s all just logic flow, right?” And I moved on to the next programer to see if I could help, as she watched me walk off very confused. I saw that it was my job at that time to not just do my job, but talk to them to see what they needed to keep them moving forward. Finding a way to get that to them so they could not be stopped needlessly.

I don’t know what the hell my son talking about half the time. But I’m always giving him angles to look at things from to help him get outside the box he maybe shouldn’t even be in.

Create a secret number one: I’ve been doing this for decades and it’s I guess it’s made me money plenty of times. And leaves people looking at me like I’m a genius or something wondering how did he do that and that’s amazing…

Trying to think of an example here. I have a really good example but I can’t think of what it is right now. I’ll give you the concept. I know two ways to write. Structured with an outline as Clive Barker does or used to. He told me once that’s how he wrote. That was back in the late 80s, maybe early 90s? Then there is exploratory writing. Just start writing, see where it takes you. Or, expeditionary writing. Adventure writing, the adventure OF writing.

I was watching Paul Simon's docu series "In Restless Dreams: The Music of Paul Simon", on Amazon Prime and he said it, what I was trying to remember: discovery. Discovery writing. You discover, or uncover the story as you write it out. You see, as with I suppose AI, what the next word is and what goes best with it and you put that down and onto the next. In my mind I watch the "movie" in real time. That reminds me of 8th grade at Holy Rosary elementary parochial school where I went for a single somewhat nightmarish year. 

But we got to take Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics in an experimental class. I got up to reading 10,000 words per minute at 80% comprehension (up from the initial 280 words per minute and 60% comprehension...which saddened and surprised me as I was an avid reader, mostly of sci fi at that time. But by time I finished the course, and I had read the most books of all the students, at 60 books those months (I think it was a three month period). But another kid won the most books read at 89. Who told me a few years later, "I just lied, I wanted to win." Whatever.

Anyway, when I read a book, a novel, it would take me about an hour or less and it was like feeding a computer program into my mind and I would see an actual movie of the book in my mind while I read it. That was very cool. But I eventually stopped doing it as I like a book, especially one I loved, to last as long as possible. Days. A week, or longer if I could feed pages to myself as if on a feeding schedule, relishing each page, every word.

What is fun for me, and I’ve heard authors say this, is to sit down and start writing from a concept you have, a kernel of an idea that you flesh it out. You just see where it goes and you discover as you write, whatever you find most exciting. I try to write myself into a corner all the time. I write myself into impossible situations. Then I have to write my way out of it. In my fantasy or sci-fi, or whatever, I try to be very based in physics and reality. Because that’s what I enjoy reading, or watching.

I’m used to writing myself into situations that seem impossible to get out of. A technique I learned, probably when I was a kid, maybe in Civil Air Patrol search and rescue training. When you get into an impossible situation, turnaround and look the other way. Change your perspective.

Back in the 70s my older and more experienced brother once told me when you drop acid, if it gets too intense, change the channel. If you’re literally watching TV, literally change the channel to something lighter. I actually had to do that one time and it worked brilliantly. If you’re up against an enemy, tactically, realistically, practically, you don’t want to do what they’re gonna expect you to do. So either do the opposite or do something the opposite and something lateral to that. Seemingly random, but now.

As I’ve always told my kids, always have a second, a B plan. If you have a plan B, have a C plan. And a D plan. Basically have one more plan than your opponent will have, always. I think I said this on my last blog, too.

As I start my 4th mile…

Do the unexpected. It works really well in whatever situation you are in, in your mind, or physically, just turn around and look in the opposite direction. It's amazing how often literally looking in an unexpected direction offers insight. Sometimes you’ll even see the enemy coming at you, because that was their B plan.

Marc Maron: “People ask where all the Jews have gone”, I think he means in comedy. He said he thinks it’s all the antidepressants. And they both laugh.

End of last year, and I’ll be honest about this… anyone who’s read these blogs knows that on this walk? There is a little free library in front of somebody’s house. If you’re a reader, and you don’t know about that, check it out. Bring a book you’re done with, put it in there, take one out, it’s a great deal. For years, I’ve been putting in one of my books I wrote. And they'd go away pretty quickly. My last published fiction book I put in there, along with my last published nonfiction book. Fiction book's gone, pretty quickly. Nonfiction book? Still there and I think I put them in there back in December.

The fiction book actually came back and had obviously been read. I'd been hoping for that for a long time. Now it’s gone again. Which is what you want. So I feel honored that finally happened. And that book was: Anthology of Evil II, Vol. II, The Unwritten. I really like that story. I had a blast writing it, and it took me a couple years. Because I wrote myself into a corner that I couldn’t get out of.

It took two years for me to figure out how to get out of it. Anyway, the other book is selling well in a health food store that my son runs. It's titled Suffering “Long Covid”. Good book, it's up for an award this year, as my the other fiction book is, “Death of heaven”. But it’s at that point in Covid and the season that I guess people aren’t interested in it.

It may be the title’s a problem. But it’s the revised updated version from January 2024 and I may do another update on the research/medicine this next January with newly found long Covid info from 2024. I’ve had people say it really helped them in various ways. One guy told my son in his store, after having bought and read it, that as far as the Covid Omicron version goes, he finally understands what the hell was going on with it. Which I take as high praise. There’s an interesting review on Amazon about it by someone who has been in epidemiology for 18 years who really liked it. More high praise. So anyway, after months now, it's still sitting in the little free library kiosk. Heavy sigh...

You know what sucks on these walks, this time of year? Fireplace smoke. Which can be aromatic as long as people aren’t burning garbage or trash in their fireplace. Which is just disgusting, like sticking your nose in somebody’s toilet. I know people use fireplaces for pleasure, and to save money. I certainly used to. When I moved with my kids and wife into a couple acres in the woods back in 2000, there was so much downed timber that we burned it up. We reclaimed a lot of lawn and it took us five years requiring no expensive electric heat. When finally we started using the electric furnace, the electric bill was a shock, but my kids and I enjoyed the lack of working the wood pile and certified metal standalone fireplace. Which was very nice. But my point is, I wish there was a converter in these fireplace chimneys so you could burn all you want and smoke wouldn’t be released. I'm good with the smell, just not real into the particulate matter, or the greenhouse gases, I suppose.

I have to say that after a long time of thinking Apple Air Pods were stupid, I mean, who’s gonna buy something that expensive without a cord where you could so easily lose them? I finally broke down and bought some a year or so ago and while you do have to be careful when you bend over sometimes, as one usually will fall out, not always, and you can track them down on your phone, I have to say I do love these things. I’ve been through a lot of different earpieces over the years, and I have to say, these are my favorite. I love the case that when you put them in there, it charges them, brilliant. And yes, I got the insurance on them.

OK passed the 3 1/2 mile mark.

I’ve got until 4 miles to decide, do I turn around and do one more mile? Can I handle it? Should I handle it? Should I do what I had planned which is to do a few more 4 mile walks before going to 5, finally? I so want to do 5 miles. Because last time, when I first ever got up to the 5 miles with long Covid, it wasn’t until I hit the 5 mile mark that I really started feeling better. There is my motivation.

I’m feeling better now at 4 miles, but what if I feel way better with 5 miles? Regardless, it’s going to trash me for a day or two. After a winter of not feeling well and being in my recliner in the living room, mostly..my first walk recently left me after the walk, with a really sore area someplace I’ve never experienced before. I’ve had shin splints, or this that or the other thing from hiking a lot in my youth, search and rescue in CAP. But this was my “core” and a bit lower. A weird area to feel like you strained muscles, because you haven’t used them for months. But a strong core feels great. And once you get that back, continuing the work out to your extremities is much easier. I prefer to work on my core before everything else when beginning work outs again after time off. I used to work on everything else first (like doing arm curls with barbells and dumbbells) and then eventually get a strong core. Fuck that. Now my favorite thing is the “sit up challenge” where you start doing sit ups and add five every day for a month. By that month‘s end? Man, I always feel so much better. So... core first. And the rest comes easier.

Oh, the other thing to do on walks when you’re trying to get into shape is, after a few walks, start holding your stomach in. And I’ve talked about this before. Tighten your stomach muscles up, suck them up into your ribs and back toward your spine. Hold it for a few seconds count and then expand it over time and after a while, you realize you’re just kind of holding it in without thinking. It can take a month or two.

It just occurred to me, anyone wondering why I even do any of this blog thing. Partly because I had a blog. Because I wasn’t using it and that’s a waste of resources. Because it’s also motivational for me, as I walk and lately, that’s the most important thing as anything, to move.

They’ve recently done a research project where people had to move every half hour or something, all day, every day, and while some people dropped out, and some people didn’t keep it up after the study, they say it literally change the lives of some people for the better. I could definitely see that. It’s a big argument for the standing work desk. Especially with a treadmill.

OK. I’m at 4 miles. I think I could do 5 miles. But it’s not supposed to rain Sunday, in two days for my next walk (plan is to do 5 miles every other day, then after a while, consider ever day). My left ankle, the one that gives me problems is in a slip on ankle brace. Hurts just a wee bit now. So I think I’ll call it a day.

Here’s the thing I find about workouts and I’ve done a lot of workouts. I started working out in 1965 in fifth grade in Karate (Isshinryu). A lot of pain, a lot of “push through the pain”. A lot of learn to ignore the pain. In 1980 I took Aikido in college. From that day on, I thought screw this pushing through the pain crap. There’s actually ways to work out where you don’t need to suffer. If you're not a professional, why are you hurting yourself so much?

It’s like being an artist, as one of my professors told us, the whole starving artist concept is bullshit and they’ve done studies to prove if you suffer for your art, you really don’t have to. It makes a great story, but it doesn’t necessarily make for great art. So work smarter. Not just harder.

For anyone questioning my editing this before releasing it, as I talked about above, it took me two or three hours last time to edit that piece. I got home after a really nice walk that day and spent the entire afternoon reading and editing, with had news or documentaries on in the background. I’m not making money off of this. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this. So what’s wrong about my reading through once, making quick corrections and getting it out there, ASAP? If I was being really serious about this, I'd take a couple days on each blog. I don’t see where that really benefits anybody that much though, especially considering the concept of a walking/talking piece And doing it often. Obviously with taking winters off…

And I’ll leave you with that.

It’s noon now and time for lunch.
Temperature is 56°.

I wish you all great success and health! Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!