Showing posts with label covid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label covid. Show all posts

Friday, May 3, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #72

 Well, first day of a walkabout since catching covid the 3rd time. Got in 2 miles. Nice day, about 63 degrees, felt great. But I'm beat after a month of nothing except the store and doctors appointments.

Instagram video for the day.

Podcast Marc Maron WTF? with Episode 1535 - Tiffany Haddish

I have very little to say, just wanted to mention I got in a walk today.

I haven't been able to do any work of substance since end of last year really. Hoping soon. I was working on putting "Gumdrop", a short horror, up on Filmhub, but maybe not. They found too many problems for me to fix and I'm not sure I care. Kelly Hughes offered two other places to try, I may do that. 

Cheers! Wishing you all...all the best.

Sláinte!

Monday, April 15, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #71.5 covid not walking...

 What the hell happened?

After my last walkabout I got home and got sicker after my first 5 mile walk this year. Progress! Then... no progress. It is now a couple of weeks later after being unable to do much and losing ground daily on my walkabouts. Now I'll have to start building up to 5 miles...ALL OVER AGAIN AND I''M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!

I tested posted for covid for the 3rd time, two days after my last walkabout. I didn't think it was covid. Again. I'd gone to get a blood draw regarding my changes in long covid this year and I think that's where I caught this, I should have worn a mask. I mentioned that the the VA Nurse (see below) and she said, yes, I saw you did that and was going to say that may have been where you caught it.

That was a week or so of discomfort. What I've now been calling the most fun version of covid of the three bouts I've had (it's not fun). So I called the VA Nurse and he sent me to local urgent care to get Paxlovid via a VA program called "Mission Critical Care" ("You can use that 3 times").

So I took Paxlovid, three pills in each blister pack twice daily for five days. The day before I finished the meds, something else started. I'd had trouble getting my sinuses open, especially the top ones in my forehead, always a problem and I know that after only 2-3 days it can cause a sinus infection.

I finally was getting over it when saline flushes brought out blood from my sinuses over a few days...meaning I had a sinus infection. That's when I called the VA nurse again. She said it may be "Paxlovid Rebound" or covid rebound. 1 in 10 (10%) of people taking Paxlovid get this. Lucky me.

I thought maybe the sinus issue just caused a sinus infection, so take some antibiotics (which I avoid as I do tranquillizers and pain meds), and I'd be good. But she said let's hold off, see what happens, then take a test the day after I finished the Paxlovid.

I did. She had said not to be surprised if I tested positive as I probably would. I did not. So that's something. I've had all the covid shots, long covid twice, so would this new round of covid start me with a new round of long covid, again? April 1st was my 2 year anniversary of this last long covid experience. I'd hoped it would be done within 18 months like the first time, or 2 years. I mentioned the long covid to the VA Nurse who didn't know much about it.

This is an issue I've run into since I first contracted long covid in February 2020, health care professioanls know very little about it. Which was why I wrote a book on it, Suffering "Long Covid". I'm amazed still today how few are informed on it. It may only be 10% of those who were infected with Covid, but that's still actually a lot of people.

From Copilot:

What happened? The VA Nurse said Paxlovid might keep me from getting long covid and may shorten the infection, but that even if I got covid rebound it's worth having taken it. I have not been feelin any long covid since taking the Paxlovid. THAT was hopeful!

I'm very hopeful that long covid may now end. But will it? Over 3 years of long covid off and on? I'm ready to be done with it, emotionally exhausted about it all.

So I now just have a sinus infection apparently and I'm waiting to see if I need to call the VA Nurse again for the antibiotics, which I'd like to avoid if saline flushing my sinuses works, I'd be good with that but if I continue feeling sick, sinus headache upon waking every day as today again (not yesterday when sinuses were clear), then I'll need the antibiotics.

The good side of all this, as I couldn't do anything but watch TV these past two weeks was that I saw some great shows.

"Sugar", just started on Apple+

"Fallout", on Amazon Prime from the video game I have over 700 hours into helping me get out of long covid in early 2022 and led to my producing my greatest award winning documentary, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero". Loved the show, can't wait until series two comes out.

I'd already watched the 30 ep Chinese version of "Three-Body" on Amazon Prime and newer ("Game of Thrones" producer related) "3-Body-Problem" on Netflix. Just wanted to give them a call out.

"Marcella", on Netflix was fun. 3 seaons.

Tried season 5 of "Virgin River" on Netflix, I uncharacteristically liked that show but this season is killing me. Maybe because it's a Christmas season but I can't get into it. Sometimes it just takes getting through a few episodes though, so we'll see?

New, "Shogun", that was fun.

"The Girls on the Bus", very fun.

"The Hunt", very enjoyable about finding Lincoln's assassin.

Just started, "Franklin" with Michael Douglas, starring. Like it very much.

So, time will tell how things go with this current respiratory infection as we watch the further demise of international lowlife Donald Trump in our country's first criminal FPOTUS trial of a career criminal authoritarian, our first to have run for POTUS, and who actually, ludicrously got it. 

We were lucky his first time. If he gets another he'll try to end America and be more effective at it in now having those around him who are not protecting America and are very into evolving an authoritarian country. 

Hopefully we're stronger than that, we are more aware of what a lowlife Trump is, he's lost many of his MAGA, and hopefully we won't lose the democracy these people hate so much. 

My older MAGA brother being one of them, the only one in our family where we all grew up democrat and a union (Teamster) family. I've been an independent most of my life, voting for the best candidate. The GOP in recent years and Donald Trump ended that, pushing me necessarily into partisanship. Something I find disgusting, binary thinking, and anti-American.

But we must fight against a GOP whose motto appears to be through actions: "Profit and power at any or all cost to any or all others, as long as it's not US." Corporate Thought at its worst. This is Russian level stuff, China level stuff. 

Better times are coming though, people. 

We cannot afford to descend into a Trump inspired Putinesque mire of RINOistic hate and division and despair.

And with that... I wish you all great success and health! Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!

Friday, January 12, 2024

JZ Murdock - an update on my writings and works

I was thinking today that I should put out an update of things I've been working on. I have been feeling pretty good lately, my long covid having backed off, I thought maybe it was nearly gone. My expectation/hope was that it would be gone before, on, or near 2 years since last infection (April 2022).

Then this past week it seemed to come back. It was a miserable week with a couple of days ago being especially so. I'm feeling better yesterday and today. The trouble with long covid is it sticks with you in the beginning, then it comes and goes, less and less over time (hopefully) until you start to falling prey to belief it may be gone, then it comes back, feeling more devesting each time. 

It got me to thinking about what I'd done these past few years. And that's when I thought about an update on things. So here it is.

Several of my books are nominated for various book awards this year. More about that below. Suffering "Long Covid" is one of those book, as you can see from the stamp on the cover for the Eric Hoffer Book Award. Kind of wish they'd sink some of their money into redesigning their webpage. 

I just revised my 2022 non-fiction book detailing both my own personal experiences but also long covid in general, Suffering "Long Covid". My son runs a health food store in another city and it's been selling there well enough that they are going to start paying me when they receive the books from me rather than after sales are made. I updated it with new information from 2023.

Long story this updated revision. I've had a few stumbles, continuing to add to the revision. There are now three versions to be found in the world. Original 2020 version, this year's revised version and this week's Revision 1.1. If you look on the copyright page in the front you'll see which version you're looking at. As of now it's published on Amazon in ebook and hardcopy and the books are on the way to me here and a brick and mortar store. 

It is also now available for the first time as an ebook on Smashwords along with other ebooks of mine there. I'm having some trouble with the epub version there, some error about "Frame" duplication, but it mostly looks good. Waiting on their review to continue working on it.

Nice thing about the ebook version, the research links annotated and supplied are easily clickable. I wish on Amazon the hardcopy purchased also included the ebook version. But that requires a setup on there I'm not willing at this time to accept from Amazon. Feels a bit like a bully move on there part. 


I just noticed my audiobook "The Mea Culpa Document of London" (also, Kindle), was in unpublished mode. I'd used a graphic for the cover I later found was not public domain and immediately pulled it, like two years ago. I noticed that this week, found a replacement graphic and now it's back up for sale. It is a story about an Inquisition Judge and witch hunter's crisis of conscience. I had written it for my university Intro to Fiction class toward my minor (my major is psychology, awareness and reasoning with a concentration in phenomenology). 

That professor (and class) loved my writing and admittedly they were a cut above the rest of the class (save for one other classmate). But he said I needed to write dialog and so sent me to playwriting. From there I got selected for a year long class with seven others to learn team script and screen writing (mostly writing TV shows). An amazing time. One of my two profs for that was a massive brain and loved medieval literature. 

I would hang out in his office when I had time just to learn from him. When I told him about my story about the witch hunter he really got into it and helped me with it. It's deeper than you might think. 

And the story is probably better than my voice acting, but I did my best. The story is in my first published book of short stories, "Anthology of Evil" (I have a sequel out to it now, in volumes one and two) of my newer writings, some previously published and some new). 

My WWI antiwar filmic poem and historical documentary, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero", has been internationally awarded a lot of awards (going on 100) and Official Festival Selection status (also approaching 100).

I'm getting closer to finishing my film companion book for it. 

My short film noir/thriller/horror film, "Gumdrop", a short horror - finished it's journey around the world at film festivals and also won a bunch of awards and official festival selection status. Though nowhere near as many as "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero"!

I realized how much time, effort and money I'd put into my films and I should be doing the same for my books and screenplays. And so I've started on that (again). My true crime biopic screenplay, "The Teenage Bodyguard" has two versions. My original and one that got producer Robert Mitas (my IMDb) interested so that he helped me write another version. Robert works with Michael Douglas on films. We spoke to several directors interested in directing the film, but I came to realize, though the new version was shorter, tighter as a screenplay, it seemed to be leading directors into thinking it was a teen film and not a more mature drama. 

As the original producer in London, who first heard about the project and asked me to write the screenplay and let him see it first, he thought it reminded him of the film, 'The Place Beyond The Pines". And I agreed. Problem was, I sent him the screenplay, he said he'd send it to his readers and, I never heard from him again and he has since disappeared. 

I started sending both off to festivals and screenplay contests. I have seven now for my original version, and three for the rewrite. It's won the Brandenburg International Film Festival, honorable mention at the World Film Carnival - Singapore. David Film Festival (İstanbul), Tabriz Cinema Awards (Azerbaijan), Medusa Film Festival, United States Motion Picture Alliance (California), and the International Film & Script Festival Lotus. Also, Semi-finalist in the Page Turner Feature & TV Pilot GENRE Competition.

As for my books, Suffering "Long Covid", DEATH OF HEAVEN (horror/scifi) and Anthology of Evil II Vol. II The Unwritten have all been nominated for the Eric Hoffer Book Award. I've also submitted the last two, to other festivals. DEATH OF HEAVEN received an Honorable Mention at the Halloween Book Festival. Also another one at the Royal Dragonfly Book Award for science fiction/fantasy. It's submitted to and received reviews from Literary Titan and Reader Views. These book awards run through 2024 and I look forward to see the results. It's past time for DEATH OF HEAVEN to receive some recognition as I believe it's a very good book. And reviews are testifying to that.

While I am hopeful I'm at the end of nearly 2 years of my last bout of long covid, it has has made doing anything these past three years somewhat problematic and at times impossible. For one thing it cycles. You think you're good or it's over and it comes back. Until as with my first bout of it, it's just gone one day. Yay! 

For a while I thought I may never be able to write or produce anything ever again. "Mind fog" sucks. Being lethargic for nearly a year sucked. With the second infection two paramedic visits and hours at the emergency department of our local hospital sucked. Wearing a heart monitor for two weeks sucked. Lots of blood and heart tests and xrays and in the end, 

I seem to have come through it all with no findable damages. In fact, I swear two things are better after it. I can remember things now I couldn't remember well before covid and my physical reactions seem better (if I drop something that would normally end up on the floor, I seem better able to, and often do now, catch it first).

But IN these past few years since acquiring that rather devastating first infection in February 2020 (then again, a worse one in many ways in April 2022), I produced the WWI film (it was mostly done but I had to edit it for 6 months), then send it to film festivals around the world (I was surprised how something I did to help me heal from covid, won so many awards!), I published my first collection of short stories sequel in two new volumes of my writings as mentioned above, then wrote and published my book on long covid, revised this past week with updates for 2023,  and published that.

In thinking I'd done nothing since first contracting covid I thought I'd done nothing. Until I looked back one day to realize how much I had actually done. I would have to say myself, under these conditions it's rather remarkable. Honestly, my first edition of my long covid book had some spelling errors in it, which I've now fixed when my son pointed it out to me. Which led me to updating it, which I've been feeling I should do considering the advances and findings on long covid that have happened, even though I didn't motivation to work on that book again (it's hard writing a book about the worst times of your life where you almost died). 

I was at a standstill on my film companion book. Then when I got motivated to update and correct the long covid book...the info was all accurate in it, I'd just not had good attention to minor details like spelling when deeper into long covid than I am now (and even then, there weren't many spelling errors but I'm meticulous about my edits before publishing)...I found myself ready to get back to the film companion book.

So I'm working on it, looking forward to finishing it also. So I can then move onto my next project which I think may be about my grandfather, my mother's dad, who had traveled the world in the 1940-50s and 6os. 

And...that's my update. Now, go out and be happy, be brilliant and productive!

(I used to tell my kids that when they were leaving the house)

Friday, September 15, 2023

Walkabout Thoughts #64.5

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…

Walkabout Thoughts #64.5

.5?

Yes. Well? Here's the deal.

I had a minor accident. Three weeks ago. I tripped over something that caught my foot. Slammed my ankle into something which it then slipped down on, leading to a blister from a kind of "rug burn". That was doing well until it broke open and got infected. I was taking care of it, but apparently something got into it.

It's pretty bad. I thought I may have broken my leg. Yeah, that bad. I had it looked at for a third time in three weeks yesterday and indeed, it's not broken (finally got x-rays taken), but definitely infected. the wound was cleaned up, antibiotics administered, and next Tuesday I'm seeing a "wound clinic". So, no more 5 mile walks for a bit.

Yeah, that bad. I was told it's superficial though, I won't lose my ankle (oh, gooood). But it needs some serious attention and may take months to finally heal. 

Damn.

First I'll say one political thing today that I'm borrowing from a "Tweet" of mine yesterday, just because this is so aggravating

Considering continuing Republican rogue actions, the Insurrection "Freedom" Caucus in the US House of Reps, illiberal "Republican Party" laws, illiberal "Republican" Gerrymandering, "Republican" coup attempts, an insurrection, ongoing voter suppression, anti-pro-choice crap, electing of all people, life long criminal Donald Trump...only ONE NAME now fits for the once GOP: GOVP. The Grand Old #igilante Party. Because these are ALL Vigilante actions.

Considering how anti-governmental Republicans are, esp., MAGA, hating government, always trying to disable it, defund it, destroy, cripple it, then blame Democrats for it...I'd also settle for the name: "Grand Old Vigilantes". The G.O.V.

There is little more dangerous than a religious leader shunned by his flock, for another. Or a conservative cult divested of their self-infatuated leader. Beware MAGA, once Trump has fallen. For lost, they will need purpose, other repositories for their hate, and ignorance.

Right. OK. Moving on...I'd been using a crutch to walk with (tried a cane but it wasn't enough). Now that it's been cleaned by a medical professional (thing was, it's on my outer left ankle and hard to get close to by myself), antibiotics administered, 2x daily Epsom salt soaking, so it's doing better. Now that I know the leg bone isn't fractured, and with the infection more local to just the wound area, I can walk (limping a bit) without a walking aid.

And that's why there is no "Walkabout Thoughts" lately these past three weeks. I know I'm a bit intermittent on them normally anyway, but this time will be a bit longer... apparently.

I've gotten a lot of work done on my new film companion book on "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" (not a simple book to write), but as the infection got worse, I'd not been in a state of mind where I can maintain writing a book for very long. While the film continues to garner international awards at film festivals. Which is always nice.

In fact, in the past three weeks I had entered two different film festivals, the Tabriz Cinema Awards (İstanbul, turkey) and, the Brandenburg International Film Festival in Germany. I had entered two films, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" and my film noir, "Gumdrop", a short horror, as well as my already award winning screenplay, a true crime biopic, "The Teenage Bodyguard. I won for all three, at both festivals, within a week of one another.

The first win of three was a surprise. The second was a big surprise!

In other good news is, my book "Suffering Long Covid" is selling well at the regional health food chain a few counties over (long story). I just had to send them another shipment of ten as the Covid season approaches.

So, I'll end with that and...that's what's going on. 

Not a lot, but kind of a lot. 

I wish you all great success and health! Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!



Sunday, July 9, 2023

Walkabout Thoughts #47

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…June 2, 2023, Sunday

Weather for the day…NICE! 56 degrees starting out, high 60s by end of walk

Podcast for the day: “Matice Founder Jessica Whited on Harnessing Regenerative Species for Medical Breakthroughs - Ep. 198"


In the podcast they're talking about biological regeneration. If you lose an arm, can you regrow it? Because some creatures can. Apparently a fetus can regenerate without scar tissue up to a certain point and then it stops. Why? I would assume it has something to do with a trade off for something else as to why that stopped working. Salamanders can regenerate, and studies are being done on that particular species by the person in this podcast.

We may have lost the capability for regeneration due to tumor suppression, but that’s just conjecture. But can we stimulate that somehow?

When I graduated from Western Washington University with a degree in psychology, a concentration in phenomenology, one of the main things I recognized about America at the time was in our priorities being out of whack. Considering that today they’re far more out of whack than ever, how do we define that? If I ask anyone, considering humanity and in reality, how do America’s priorities add up?

As I’ve been healing from long Covid over these past three years (I believe I healed from it and it ended at least once or twice already, this last time being the worst iteration of it), and having it this time now over a year, it seems to be healing in a two steps forward one step back pattern. Or in various modulations of a sine wave in coming and going. Couple of months ago it felt like I was over it. And then at raised its ugly head a little bit yet again. One of the things I noticed in my research was how sugar would irritate the vagus nerve, which is part of the issue of problems I’m having, mostly now exhibiting in issues of blood pressure. Which oddly enough, I can typically counter using an antihistamine like Benadryl. I also read something that mentioned how you can get a craving for sugar. Which has happened. Lovely. So you can get a sugar craving, but sugar exacerbates the condition. This truly is in so many ways a nasty insidious disease. Considering other things it does like merging cells and spawning "pillars" within or on veins and vesicles (It's in my book, "Suffering Long Covid".

After a year of having to be very careful about what I eat on a strict diet, my weight had gone down like 15 pounds to where I was feeling pretty good. But now it’s back up to where it had been, for years because how how hard this past winter was to get through. At 6'1" and 225 pounds, I’d much more prefer to be about or just under 200 pounds. I had been down as low as 213 pounds some months back. And then these sugar cravings started, which I didn’t recognize because of a feeling that I could enlarge my diet. Thinking I was getting over long covid, it was a treat to eat more varied foods. After so long being miserable and being able again to get back to a more normal diet was a joy. But I may have gotten carried away. So I’ve cut back. And I’ve been trying to supplement sweets with fruits. I know you have to be careful when you include fruits in the diet, as they are generally full of fructose, which is still a sugar. But if you continue to replace not as good things with better things, it's gonna be a process but in the end, very useful and healthier.

I’ve been finding AI very useful this past year. Chat OpenAI and Bing (where you need to use MS Edge browser). It cannot write as well as I can, but it can produce really good content that I can then massage into readable format. As at one time I was a senior technical writer, one of the things I did professionally was research, writing and massaging content to fit various requested subject matter and formats. For years, I found Wikipedia immensely useful. Not as a subject matter expert source, but as a reference...with sources. So, when I use Wikipedia, it reminds me of things I ad forgotten and it offers things I didn’t know about, hopefully referencing the source(s) which I then use to vet my information before utilizing it to send out to the public. AI is similar. Until they get this “hallucinations“ issue under control and eliminated, where it will say things that have no bearing on reality simply because it doesn’t know what else to say. It will have to remain a reference for now. But the thing I find I’ve been using it for a lot lately, is for things I might query a search engine on. There’s times where I ask "what does this phrase sentence or word mean?" And it will give me the information I’m looking for. Whereas the search engine may offer me a definition, initially, and then many links to things that most are totally irrelevant to what I'm seeking. AI though tends to give me exactly what I want to know. It’s like querying an encyclopedia, only it seems to be more understandable and it’s results are more relevant. And more frequently.

I was just talking to my son about this. He said that Chat OpenAI can now analyze photos you send it. And I said, "Great. It won’t be long before it’ll analyze videos." I’m really looking forward to sending it a video of length, or a text file or link, to have it analyzed it in various ways. I would love to be able to send it one of my films or one of my novels or non-fiction books and have it analyze them in different ways. I would lost to see the result of that. I look forward to one day pointing it to all of my films, or all of my writings and have them analyzed. At this time, I can only send it several pages. Which in a book like my “Death of heaven” book has so many different parts of the book that analyzing one part tells you nothing about another or the book overall. To analyze it overall would be very interesting.

One of the things I would like to see regarding my writings is what we’ve seen done before where someone will read all of an author's writings, and produce a paper or a book sharing “the central theme, or core of an author's writings… “ because, I would find it interesting to see what my writings boiled down to. Or, as someone pointed out years ago, I have written more than once in my fiction about young children in horrific situations. The story I wrote for my first fiction writing class at University was, “Andrew“ about a five year old who experienced a horrific event. Years later, that short story that had grown into a novella, grew into my book “Death in heaven“. That novella at the end of my very first published work, “Anthology of Evil“ (first in the series) is a story about a young boy whose parents were geniuses and had raised him as an intellectual experiment. In a more recent story of mine, a sci-fi tale on another planet, “Jaonny’s Apple Tree”, seems to imply some perhaps emotional evolution on my part, in that again it’s about a young (this time a slightly older) child, with highly talented and intelligent parents whose child (and by the way, neither story being my childhood experience... although my mother was admittedly very clever), became empowered and makes some questionable choices. At the end of the story, you really have to rethink and question if this child, "Jaonny", is evil, or perhaps, justice incarnate?

Podcast is over, I switched to "AI trends: a Latent Space crossover"

Speaking of which, for those who have a fear of AI, do instead have a fear of Donald Trump and his anti-democracy, autocratic toxically capitalistic endeavors. That’s really something to fear. Because it’s happening, it's BEEN happening now for years, decades before he so ludicrously became POTUS45. Realized fears about AI are indeed on the horizon but we still have a chance to be proactive. Something we didn’t take advantage of with the bulbous ignorant one (Trump).

The podcast is talking about Prediction Guard, a company who offers more than something like Chat OpenAI.

As I mentioned above, about sugar… wchich has to do with blood, sugar levels, and insulin. Years ago I started looking at things from an insulin point of view. If I drink, and some alcoholics may not feel hunger, some of us will get hungry... we well may all have gotten "the munchies" at 2 AM after drinking at a bar all night. Or crave sweets. Whenever I have even a glass of wine, or something, it kicks my sweet tooth within an hour or two. It seems to now with long covid, affect my vagus nerve. I found months ago that I could once again eat sweets or have at least one glass of alcohol and so I knew my lung Covid was healing. Recently I’ve had the experience that only two glasses of wine will make things uncomfortable for me at bedtime. I thought I would try to introduce alcohol on a regular basis and see how that affects things. Will  it lengthen this duration of long Covid? Will it help me acclimate and heal faster? The thing about long Covid is… what is normally common sense, may no longer have a bearing. Obviously there’s common sense involved in long Covid, but we’re only now learning a bit of how it works in this new paradigm of viral activity against humanity and biological organisms. Not knowing in the beginning that it was affecting the vagus nerve, really made the thing seem a bit crazy, back when long Covid first hit (me certainly in February) of 2020.

At 67 now, I’m still learning to be proactive about things in life, though I've always been proactive on many things. ADHD I found forced that on me. America is over 200 years old and we still haven’t learned to be proactive. We tend to be too reactive. Waiting till bad happens, then reacting. When we need to prognosticate and set up an environment to alleviate or avoid. Problem in that are conservatives who always go overboard when fear or concerns are involved (Probably why we're not proactive as it "triggers" conservatives into their weird forms of insanity). Our laws, our prison system, etc., could be so much better if we were fundamentally proactive. The more conservative one is, apparently the more being pro activity is anathema to your paradigm of ideology. Thus Republicans have been the longest hold out on climate change issues. And now I’m supporting what conservatives will label "authoritarian", at least in part, because their own toxic capitalism ("corporate thought") makes it ever more invisible to them. It's a mad world, surely, for some.

By the way, I learned years ago before Covid hit, that if I was going to have any alcohol, it should be as early in the day as possible. No not for breakfast (though as Sheryl Crow sang, "I like a good beer buzz early in the mornin'..."). But if I was going to have a drink? Lunch is better than dinner. There was a time in life, when I could drink, go out for a night, come home drunk, crash and wake up the next day little hung over, but pretty much feeling great, as long as I didn’t overdo and especially if I drank enough water the night before, before and during drinking. Long Covid magnifies things. So if there’s anything about your system, you know or don’t know about, it could end up exhibiting itself worse under lung Covid. Which is why when I first caught it the last time, maybe the third time since February 2020 (back in May 2022), anything I ate seemed to give me an allergic reaction of sorts. Initially, my pulse would go nuts. A week later my blood pressure issues started. I've never had heart issues. Quite the contrary and my DNA indicates I am above average on absorbing oxygen and muscles able to continue more quickly than normal but I'm more of a sprinter than a marathon runner (I'm more anaerobic than aerobic, basically more oriented toward weight lifting than running). This is detailed in my book, “Suffering Long Covid“. The first week on this last infection, within that first two weeks I had paramedics at my house twice, at 2AM. The first visit led to an emergency room stay of four hours. I dropped my diet down to nothing that first day, but hard boiled eggs that first day and then six hours later had another egg when I didn’t experience a reaction. If I had too much salt or sugar...life was hell.

What is “stable diffusion“? Is it this?

I am so sick of jingles for drugs in ads on TV.

See the podcast episode from the books to production. On this Practical AI podcast: "AI trends: a Latent Space crossover" and "From notebooks to Netflix scale with Metaflow".

My phone just got an "AirTag" notification. WTF? It says, "AirTag found moving in with you." Good to know, and something to track down if it happens to you.

I used to think…well? I believed. And people have told me this, that at least in certain specific areas, I'm kind of "genius". I've been in many situations where people were taken aback from me and exhibited amazement at something I did or said. My advising professor at university did say I was in the top 10% of the top 10% of psych students in universities across America, for what it's worth. I questioned him about that, disbelieving him (he is very smart, Prof. Rod Rees, is). He thought about it and then said he stands by his contention. He was also referring to my girlfriend whom I lived with through our college years and she was very smart. But we were smart in different ways so that we made an incredible team. I've written about that (substantiating it) elsewhere. Rod did not say we were "geniuses", just that we stood out. The term as typically used on social situations of "Genius" is a pop term just meaning remarkably smarter than others.

 I grew up thinking I was stupid (step-dad used to tell me that but I later realized he just didn't know what I was talking about most of the time. I had a friend in high school tell me that, saying he and our friends liked me, but didn't know what I was talking about half the time, so I started to "dumb down" my talking and got along way better with everyone, which helped me socially, but not academically). I used to think, "that can’t just be me", but that maybe everyone has something discovered. or not yet, that they are indeed genius about. But I no longer ow believe that. The whole Donald Trump phenomenon has aided that disbelief of mine in humanity. What I will say is that many, maybe even most people, are or can be genius in some way or another. But many will also die without ever finding it. A true genius to me is a jack of all trades and genius about anything, able to synthesize data and information form one thing to any other. Otherwise, one is merely genius in a single field or area. Many more of those than a "true genius", which may indeed be a myth.

Moving on... since this whole transition became more prominent, and since my own and youngest child came out as trans male, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this. First off, do not embarrass oneself with others, do not act in the extreme, just be humane. If I understand this correctly, one would say a trans male was born female. And I just thought of this myself… that doesn’t really seem accurate, does it. Well, those who are toxically binary, that is lacking ethics and compassion and morality, sometimes through religion and being anti-trans and/or anti-LGBTQ+, I think a more accurate way of putting it would be that if they’re trans by definition, then a "trans male" was one simply not born female, so born "non-female" not, "born female and transitioned to male". Well, many wish to use external biological references to define another person, who themself disagrees with that. But one really need look into things such as the DNA, which you cannot easily see and we may not be able yet to define it. So rather than history showing us how ignorant and stupid we are… far better to err on the side of caution and human decency. Trans males using a female bathroom are not perverts seeking titillation. You're thinking of anti-Trans types. Any incidents of CIS gendered males who are actual perverts utilizing this excuse in practice is minuscule to the point of not being bothered with it. It’s just another form of bigotry to throw a tiff over such things and to be so emotionally week and frightened, triggered, in order to deny evolving along with the rest of humanity on such a thing. Yes it’s uncomfortable, but it surely is for trans people. Some of them are being murdered just for being who they are, or who they’re trying to be. because when they try to be themselves, they feel more sane and the quality of their life. which America guarantees in the US Constitution, and the Declaration of Independence directly, should be supported and not scurried away from like frightened little, religious fools. Myself I prefer not to suffer fools, but we now have an entire political party (conservatives of course) where a quarter of America are proud to be in their Party of Fools, their political "ship of fools" where they can satiate and saute in their own stupid soup of bigotry and ignorance.

I’m finishing up my last half mile of my 5 miles today and I feel great. It was pretty easy today. As I detailed in my previous walk, two days ago, in that blog, at around mile four it was very difficult, but I pushed through it. I believe I’ve plateaued now and 5 miles, if I keep it up, will help with my long Covid a great deal as it had before winter hit. I kept telling myself that if I could just stay in shape over the winter, then winter will go much easier on me. The trouble is something always happens in late fall/early winter. It knocks me down and makes it very difficult to exercise during the winter time, meaning I really need to either be a "snowbird" or live someplace with an annual fairly even climate.

I find myself looking forward to going home and kicking back, hydrating and putting those ice packs made for the knees, on my knees. to reduce swelling from this walk. I am noticing, that now I almost don’t need it. But I think it help with something. I don’t need it for the pain now (progress). I might need it for helping  the muscles to heal/grow properly after these walks. Something to think about that we often don't and also is relevant in our balance of mental and emotional (IQ/EQ) processes.

What I really need to do is get the last five blogs or so updated and online. I have one about my screenplay and true crime biopic “The Teenager Bodyguard“ [I got it updated and it's online as of the 4th of July 2023]. It’s set for July 4th, 6 AM and "a happy Fourth of July. Independence Day publish!" I apologize for these delays, but to just read through these blogs from top to bottom takes me a long time. I wish I could just hire someone to do that. It’s just basic editing to clean up the "speech to text" transcription. Maybe add some links to make it easier for people to "see" what I’m talking about at times or for reference purposes.

I still haven’t published my blogs at this walk, over the weekend past. last week, with the Russian coup. How do you say Putin is still a war criminal and still invaded Ukraine illegally. And both Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump deserve the full "Ceausescu" with all due prejudice for their ongoing crimes against humanity and democracy.

To make that comment clear, Wikipedia on Ceausescu:

Execution

The Ceaușescus were executed at 4:00 p.m. local time[30] at a military base outside Bucharest on 25 December 1989.[10] The execution was carried out by a firing squad consisting of paratroop regiment soldiers: Captain Ionel Boeru, Sergeant-Major Georghin Octavian and Dorin-Marian Cirlan, while reportedly hundreds of others also volunteered.[31] Before the execution, Nicolae Ceaușescu declared, "We could have been shot without having this masquerade!"[18] The Ceaușescus' hands were tied by four soldiers before the execution.[32] Simon Sebag Montefiore wrote that, before the sentences were carried out, Elena Ceaușescu screamed, "You sons of bitches!" as she was led outside and lined up against the wall, while Nicolae Ceaușescu sang "The Internationale".[33]

The firing squad began shooting as soon as the two were in position against a wall. The execution happened too quickly for the television crew assigned to the trial and death sentence to videotape it in full; only the last round of shots was filmed. In 2014, retired Captain Boeru told a reporter for The Guardian newspaper that he believes that the shots he fired from his rifle were solely responsible for the deaths of both of the Ceaușescus, because, of the three soldiers in the firing squad, he was the only one who remembered to switch his Kalashnikov rifle to fire fully automatic, and at least one member of the group hesitated to shoot for several seconds.[34] In 1990, a member of the National Salvation Front reported that 120 bullets were found in the couple's bodies.[31]

In 1989, Prime Minister Petre Roman told French television that the execution was carried out quickly due to rumors that loyalists would attempt to rescue the couple.[30]

End Wikipedia article.

On the concept of translating Wikipedia, into every language… Apparently that’s not workable. Because some countries don’t want a Wikipedia, because that’s not how their language works for them. While some other country's cultures are very verbal and/or illiterate, it wouldn’t do them any good. I don’t know if I agree with that. That was a comment from the podcast. You can do a verbal search online and you can receive a Wikipedia page, potentially in your language, and even have it read aloud to you so you don’t have to read it. We have translators on our phones now, as if we were "Star Trek" back in the 60s. Well they weren’t in the 60s on the show, but you see what I mean. Also, there is the concept… that was rude… I just hit my home block intersection and somebody in a truck facing me, stopped at the stop sign and just stared at me. and they had their blinker on. so I didn’t know what to do. I tried to hurry across the road as well as I could at this point, after 5 miles, and as I get up alongside their truck, they takeoff heading straight down the street, not turning. WTF? Anyway… Another way to look at having something like Wikipedia in your language, while a country may not want it, what does that mean? Who doesn't want it? The country? The citizens? The government? The educated? One of the classes, upper, lower, middle? If you have something like Wikipedia, in your language, wouldn't over time, it enhance your culture and raise your standard of living, your quality of life? These are things you can't know... without trying.

Cheers! Sláinte!

Thursday, July 6, 2023

Walkabout Thoughts #44

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…June 26, 2023 Monday

Weather for the day…yes

Podcast for the day “Deja News” by Rachel Maddow and Davy Aronson, "Episode 3: "The Meanest, Dirtiest, Low-Down Stuff""


Considering Rachel Maddow’s podcast of Deja news for this week about Republican voter suppression (when will America get tired by their exhausting antics??) do we have and why don’t we have, a whole section of intimidation laws to literally put these people in prison when they pull their crap? Laws in such a way that would stop their bullshit. I don’t mean capital punishment for voter suppression, I would reserve that for former presidents like Donald Trump, for things he did and is still doing.

What should LBJ have and the Democratic Party done to neutralize Republican illiberal newspaper voter suppression attack ads in 1964 regarding a fake, non-existent, "Negro Protective Group", who told blacks not to vote or you could end up in jail? This is America. We ARE a liberal democracy, still, and regardless what the Right keeps trying to do.

Also, you can take much or most of what Republicans claim about Democrats and dig into what they’re saying to find it’s really indicative about Republicans projecting onto any or all others to distract and obstruct the view of what they’re actually doing and what they really believe in. Autocracy, apparently.

Regarding pro-Putinist propaganda by Putin apologists claiming there are Nazis in Ukraine, forgetting their Russian war criminal president's invasion of another country. For the record, there are zero Nazis in Ukraine. However, their are those of neo-Nazi mindsets who have invaded Ukraine from Russia (and some of those type living IN Ukriane, as in any country). When Russia leaves Ukraine, the neo-Nazis will have for the most part, left. Attacking another country and committing war crimes is not an excuse for perceived, or potential neo-Nazis in another country made up from a mostly democratic majority (again, as in many countries)… As there seem to be in every country around the world. Every country has right wing autocratic extremists, some of whom find titillation in political fetishism in absorbing and presenting the neo Nazi’s nonsense. In our country, they tend to be Republicans and conservatives. All of them have been misled, but also cherry pick, as the religious do, in selectively ignoring reality, and chosing to be a patently as stupid as possible in the face of reality and thoroughly against the facts. Everyone's facts, not just "alternative facts", a term promoted by Kelly Anne Conway (divorced now from her more liberal Republican husband) deep in the MAGA slurry of Donald Trump's wake.

Regarding Rachel’s podcast this week and JFK winning over Nixon in 1960...It begs the question, if Nixon had won rather than JFK would he have turned into what he later did when he finally became president? I suspect he would have. Because that’s what happens with people of weak ego and poor character. Not to mention, with a conservative orientation and a Republican to boot. Which we’ve seen again and again. George W. Bush. Obviously and ultimately in Donald J Trump, criminal FPOTUS45.

As a political party, when you realize not enough people are going to vote for your candidate, and your response to that is, "how do we keep the other parties voters from voting against us", and you then fall on an answer such as, "we will suppress their votes," or worse, "...in anyways possible", yes… your party has "jumped that shark." You have then stepped out of an illiberal democracy into an autocratic party and one inevitably of sedition. And when you're in that GOP and Trump MAGA today, you’re moving into stochastic terrorism and your are then, you have then, fully left this country, the great American experiment and democracy itself. You're an Autocrat. At some point they are, and you have become, criminals. Where the only question of the rest of us at hand will be... how to prove it with evidence in court, and execute justice?

I should contact Eagle Harbor books and the book seller downtown and see if they would take maybe two of my books for free, welcome to sell them and keep the money, and if they want more... let me know?

Why isn’t there a law that says every state must have enough polling places, free and protected, where if you’re standing in line for longer than an hour, then the state should lose money and if they don't have money to have enough polling places, then federal money would be supplied giving states and their illiberal conservative leadership (who are the ones pulling this crap) will absolutely have no reason for THEIR voter suppression actions. And so on and so forth… remember 1964 presidential election's Republican operation, which Hubert Humphrey said should be called "Operation Evil Lie", which was pure and simple, voter suppression by the conservative party.

1964 presidential election was lopsided with Barry Goldwater losing on the Republican side and winning only later in 1968 with the eventual nightmare Nixon with an actual criminal VPOTUS (GOP took decades to advance to nominating an actual criminal for POTUS in Donald Trump). One being his home state of Arizona, with another five being States where the black vote had already long been suppressed. "Operation Eagle Eye" by Republicans wasn’t even needed in those five states because of Jim Crow laws already suppressing the black vote and the black community in general, and in so many other ways.

As we now know, if voter suppression by the right had never been utilized there would’ve been very few Republican presidents in the past 50 years.

I do realize that the 60s and 70s Republican voter suppression efforts and their "Operation Eagle Eye" did set the foundation and building blocks up for today’s illiberal “democratic free“ elections so subverted by subversive and seditious Republicans. At times, aided by America’s foreign enemies, via social media, or whatever they could come up with. With other issues such as dark money, toxic conservative, a stacked SCOTUS and federal courts, and illiberal Gerrymandering. None of that is news.

Here’s something else to consider… We hear a lot from the right about how bad the left is. We hear how the Democratic Party ruins our economy. Regardless of the fact that Republican presidents take us into wars, leave us with seriously depleted budgets and massive debt, and Democrats always seem to be the ones cleaning it up every time. But if Republicans would stop this nonsense and act as liberal democrats (lower "d"), which this country is... a liberal democratic republic… IF they would work with the other side, does it matter if they never win, if they get things done that they really do want (for the country), and not just what they want, for their always winning in their sadly toxic, anti-American, "corporate thought" agendas? If what they want is actually useful to America and Americans, and not just to their wealthy and corporate? If they would work FOR the American good and not just for Themselves? The GOP has degenerated into a party of actors who play out roles for pure power and notoriety and greed. They're propaganda is disinformed and autocratically subverted, their electorate in chaos and confusion, so now they feel like Russians who don’t know what the hell they’re voting, for. Don't we really just want to be left alone and reclaim what it is to be patriotic? Until finally they end up voting against themselves. And then Russia’s case strengthens up and we find ourselves again invading other countries (Remember "W" and Iraq?). how many of Americans mistakes in other countries are from toxic capitalism? From the greedy and conservative and the Republican? Oh surely, there were some Democrats and independents involved. But that doesn’t resolve the Right from there fundamentals and foundation in toxic conservatism. 

It has a little to do with Conservatism anymore.
Republicans: "Be very good at selling bad ideas."
Democrats: "Be very bad at selling good ideas, political effort, democratic spin"
Republicans: Fraud, Republican lies & disinformation.
Democrats: Truth and facts.
Republicans: Decency for corporations and the wealthy.
Democrats: Decency for all American citizens, especially those who are people and not business or industry while maintaining a healthy business and industry.
Republicans: Enhance faith in God and religion and autocracy. God’s autocratic by the way. The pursuit of happiness of their orientation or their beliefs or their institutions... against all others.
Democrats Enhance faith in democracy to allow a country mixed with many cultures and religions and non-religions. The pursuit of happiness, not just the conservative pursuit of their own happiness.

"Operation Eagle Eye" slogan: "To restore confidence in America’s elections"...but basically, just spew disingenuous disinformation.

Rachel Maddow's Deja News podcast should be required listening in every high school and every junior high, every college and every Congress. on TV and forced onto Fox News and all conservative media.

Attorney Jim Brosnahan, who testified against William Rehnquist in that attorneys active voter suppression action in 1964, said today on the podcast that, “Anyone's vote taken away is a democratic sin. “ restricting any citizens vote is committing a serious concern and should be dealt with." Citizens lose their vote when they going to prison. Unless it is under conditions of treason, no one should ever lose their vote. No one's vote should ever be suppressed, the more votes, the better.

Next podcast "Axios today"-
Prigozhin is not a hero, he’s a "Blackwater" type mercenary group type leader, although Betsy DeVos's brother, Eric Prince is no angel either… But basically a mob boss as some claim as a Putin capo. Putin, after all, being the mob boss. In America, we have something similar with a more cowardly, less, intelligent just as media savvy, maybe more media savvy than Putin, mob boss in Donald Trump. Both countries have the delusionally propagandized and disinformed who follow those cretins over the cliff to enjoy a plummet of their country into death and despair. Chaos and despair and apathy being the rule of the day for both those leader's followers. And remember, Putin’s capo and leader of the Wagner group, started a 10 hour march to Moscow to the capital and stopped 4/5 of the way there. There’s very much speculation about what Putin will do to his capo for this sedition. What does a mafia boss do to an ill acting capo? Well? That depends on how integral he is to his wealth and power acquisition and retention model that a mafia boss has in place. Unless that model, as in Putin‘s model, as in the failure of the Ukrainian war so far, according to his 'three days to overtake Ukraine" model, he now has in its place.

Finishing up my 4th mile, then starting on my fifth and final mile for the day. My long Covid "walkabout thought" for the day being solidly executed. If I keep this up at three or four days out of every week, while the weather hasn’t been helping, although it does get better heading into summer, That would mean every week I am alternately doing 15 or 20 mile walks total. Which my much younger, VA health doctor said is way better than anything he’s doing. But, such are the joys of retirement... and long Covid.

55 million people in the south east west to Mississippi are under a heat warning as of today. Texas is in some southern locations in the triple digits and so far doing well because they’ve applied some renewable energy sources and batteries which so far are functioning nominally. Even against all the bullshit and nonsense that crippled state's governor has been putting out since the storm, two years ago. Republicans are good at one thing. Ignoring reality and not being proactive. Being worried about this moment and this moment, alone but not about their citizens, long-term.

These temperatures in the south are as far north as Oklahoma and Kansas, have been proven to be at least five times more related to human induced climate change, and denial of this at this point really is criminal, because people are dying.

Gay and Black minorities and LGBTQ+ people are here. They always have been. To deny that is to deny America and democracy. So if you’re against all that or whining about how you won’t "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps", a typical Republican comment towards those who are incapable of doing that, then it’s not about those you hate or those you speak out against, it's yourself and your group of whiners, who refuse to go out and succeed, as any American would, regardless of what obstacles are against them. Because that’s American. And whining and abusing others or denigrate any others to make it look better, well that’s autocracy and that kind of makes you a rat bastard.

Next podcast, “Cork Today“, a podcast from Cork, Ireland, where I spent a few days and a lovely time back in 2015. I so wanna go back to Ireland. Sadly, my Irish roots are too well established for a dual passport. So, thanks for that Ireland.

The podcast is talking with somebody about a herbal remedy to help you sleep. It’s got so much stuff in it. How do you want to think about taking it. I’ve tried to keep my stress levels down since high school when I went in the hospital for it. When the doctors (3 neurosurgeons) said…(and this would’ve been winter spring 1973)… "Here’s a script for Valium 5 mg, now goodbye. We would suggest you move out of your parent's house from what your mother told us." Weeks later I graduated at 17 and moved out with a job into an apartment. Then life was good. The headaches stopped. My stress levels dropped. Now today in retirement at 67, 68 end of August, I do my best to get exposure to sunlight. 15 minutes today, even five help with sleeping at night in regenerating one's melatonin. Yesterday, I had spaghetti and meatballs for lunch with two glasses of wine, testing out my long Covid healing. I did well. But I woke up at 12:30 a.m. and thought what the hell… So I took half of a 5 mg melatonin...just enough to put me to sleep and keep me there, until  at7:30 AM I woke up. I feel pretty good today. Getting the exercise definitely is helping. I think the thing that helped me most in healing from long Covid was getting exercise, and sunlight. Although both can work against you, until you hit a certain degree of healing with that insidious condition.

I’d have to say as far as difficulty sleeping, all my life, especially in high school, I think it was more about ADHD and my mind running at hyper speed on multiple levels. As well as working nights through HS. As a snack bar drive-in theater worker and then snack bar manager. How long after work, late at night it took me to get to sleep, to get up early to go back to school, or after graduating, to work? I think my sleep was better after graduating HS, not having to go to school at day and then work nights. I figured I usually got a few hours sleep in HS. I would come home after work at maybe midnight, go to bed and have to be at school by 8:30 AM. I can remember many times looking at the clock before I fall asleep at 5 AM. I would just lay there in bed with my mind racing and thoughts spinning about everything... not all bad, just a mind that wanted to work 24 hours a day. My mother liked staying up all night. My older brother, who has said he thinks he got all the worst of our mom from her, well? I think maybe I left most of that out and get most of the best from her. Anyway, he felt he was a night person too. But we are day people as a race and require Vitamin D and sunlight and our schedules are ruled by that. I have to say really in much of my earlier my life, I did prefer being up at night. But life and having children has a way of rectifying that. Though, bending you to it, will wear on you to make you feel a little crazy at times.

The Cork podcast is talking about how hot it is there and how hard it is to sleep when you’re hot. People don’t have air conditioners there or some do bu no money for electricity. Cork's not a highly prosperous town, but it is a very lovely town. So they suggest curtains closed during the day to keep the place cool, windows open at and night sleep with a sheet only. Poor People's air conditioning. I remember those days.

Now they’re talking about a listener question about artichokes lowering cholesterol, and if there may be something involved there. The person is on a Staten who asked the question, and so am I. I’ve added eating two avocados a week. I don’t know if it’s helped or not, but they are tasty. Maybe I'll add artichokes, I do like them too. 

I'm editing this today, Wednesday, July 5, 2023 and it's my little brother's birthday... who died of liver cancer in 1975, two weeks before today, back then, He just missed making it to 15. His doctor in Manhattan said then, that maybe in 5 years, they will be able to do a liver transplant. Five years to the week, they did their first successful one. Happy birthday, little bro...

And with that...

Cheers! Sláinte!

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Walkabout Thoughts #33

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…


Weather for the day… 44 degrees and light clouds lots of blue sky

Podcast for the day podcast “Pod Save America“ episode, “

Instagram post for the day

Olympic Mountains today

“Trump has reminded us that misogyny is a feature not a bug in the Republican Party”

“Pompeo hates Nikki Haley”

Paraphrasing “Nikki Haley is just a Kevin McCarthy“

So I told my adult trans kid I’d like to take them and their trans spouse out for that kid's birthday next weekend. I said pick a place and we'll go there. Thinking that’s part of a gift. And their response was, "Oh so I choose?" Yeah. Sure. In part because of their dietary requirements being hard for me to track. And thinking about that, as many do (with a roll of the eyes, and I’m not saying I’m doing that, but people do), it occurs to me...Why do so many seem so attuned to their physiology regarding diet? That’s annoying to many who are not. But here’s the thing. As we’ve become more educated and knowledgeable about diet and an awareness of things, why would we not become more attuned to ourselves, internally? And how is that a bad thing? One might argue even that it’s bullshit. But if you’re eating healthier because of it, then how is that bad? It’s annoying to others, sure. But what if it’s not imaginary? When I was a kid, and this is how I’m viewing this whole issue… I was fifth or sixth grade, my mom took me over to a friend's house. Some woman who had a couple of Siamese cats (that's another story). While I was talking to this woman when we first got there, I felt my body invaded. It was a weird kind of rush. I could see her breathing down on me, standing a few feet from my mom and I inside the front door. I couldn’t put my finger on the feeling I was having until later. But I started not feeling well later that day. The next day I felt worse and my mom said the woman was talking to her on the phone and said she thinks she came down with something. By the next day I was feeling so bad my mom took me to the doctor. And he said, "You’ve got the flu or something." I told him I knew it, and then about the woman, realizing I felt I was catching something from her, apparently a virus. I felt something invading my body while talking to her, probably my immune system over responding. Years later, a doctor told me that my allergies were my immune system overreacting too rapidly to invading elements. And if it was slower, my body could adjust and I wouldn’t have all these allergy issues. This was back in the early 70s by that time. So the doctor when I was a kid, in his office, said, "I’m sorry but it’s impossible that you’re feeling ill or could have felt her give you the flu as you stood in front of her. It takes about two weeks for you to feel the symptoms." I didn’t know what to do with that. He’s a doctor. I was a kid. But the thing was, he’s right about a week or two to feel the symptoms. But I wasn’t feeling the symptoms the day I met that woman. I was feeling an invasion and my immune system reacting. I’ve always been very tuned into my physiology. And I’ve always been discredited on that. But it’s been proven to be accurate over my 67 years. By time I hit my teens, it wasn’t quite as accurate, as you get older, it diminishes. But still seems to be more awareness than other people I've known. Getting back to my original premise… I do also believe that food is medicine, or can be. Sure, some take things to extremes. Some always do. But there is logic, and science in it. Eat healthier, you're healthier. Eat poorly, your health will suffer for it, though you may not notice it at first or until you're old, and some can handle that better than others. At least some of these people, with our better education and knowledge today than we had so long ago when I was a kid, if they're more tuned into their bodies now and trying to eat better… other than being annoying to some of us, what the hell is the problem with that? Don’t get me wrong. I like eating meat. But ethically and morally, I realized once a society gets to a place where they don’t have to hunt and kill for their food, why are we still killing other species for food? Not to mention, eating a lot of meat in a diet is unhealthy and can kill you over time. Granted not everybody, but we’re not all the same, biologically speaking. That’s why one person can smoke as much as another, yet one gets lung, cancer and dies and the other lives to 100 and is healthy. But it doesn’t mean everybody’s wrong. And that doesn’t mean we’re always correctly righteous in our annoyed beliefs.

It occurs to me that with some people, probably younger than me, who are doing what they're doing today about their diets and stuff, as I was discussing above, people traditionally did pay attention only once they had health problems. When they were told to log their health statistics, day by day. Which I’ve been doing since I got long Covid back in April, almost a year ago. So if they don’t need to log it all to figure things out, and can simple tell, more power to them. I’ve been getting a lot of migraine visuals lately. I used to get maybe a migraine every year or two, or every so many years. I would go a little blind, start to see visuals, start seeing bright colors at about a half an hour before the pain hit. Which could last for three days. I read somewhere that as you get older you don’t necessarily get the pain, but the visuals. So I counted in my log today and found I had migraine visuals, seven times in the past 30 days. Which I assume has got to be because of long Covid. It's disturbing.

Speaking of which, I read somewhere else that long Covid can thicken your vagus nerve. Is that good or bad? Probably bad, right? Which are the issues I’ve been having, vagus nerve issues. Since this is the second time, I am sure, as I had long Covid the first time lasting 8 to 14 months long, I have to wonder if repeated long Covid physically changes/damages something? And if one's vagus nerve gets thickened? Does that mean you’re not having permanent issues while things being magnified? Like when I first got it, that was really bad and I had to go into the ER with couple paramedic visits due to my pulse/BP shooting up and I became hyper sensitive to certain foods. As this has is faded, will it never go completely away because I may now have a thicker vagus nerve? Does thicker mean it's more functional or less, and if more that seems to be over reacting to things. Just great. 

Here’s a nightmare scenario. My poor son and his girlfriend have been dealing with her heart issues for a year now. Something she’s perhaps been ignoring for years, as we tend to do when it's not obvious what the problem is. She’s been having seizures and things that she didn’t recognize until the doctors figured it out and gave her meds. They couldn’t get the meds figured out. They'd get them "figured out" and then they'd fail before she could go home from the hospital stay. "Hello again, hi, bye!" Sorry. That was a like, cute one year old I just walked by with his mom… Anyway she left their city to go to Seattle and then back home and then back again and then back home but didn’t make it. Had to stop at another hospital in another city and on and on for a year. So I said to my son, at least once, did she have Covid? And he said, "Yes." I told him then that she may have had long Covid and not even known it. And if that’s the case, it magnifies things. I wrote a book about it, "Suffering Long Covid" And I published it. He gave her a copy but he doesn’t think she read it. Which may be good because there’s some hard realities in that book. Anyway, as of yesterday they finally think they’ve got things worked out and she can come home. But we’ve heard this so many times. "Hi". This time it was my postal woman delivering mail a few blocks from my house. I'm headed onto my 3rd mile now [I jumped back up from below, later on, so that explains my mileage being out of sequence, shit happens...]. So anyway, all the medication they tried on her has reacted in ways they didn’t expect and... that’s what long Covid does to you. So, as time passes, a long Covid phase for her fading, it could be that meds will start to work correctly, as they seem to be. Finally. But I don’t know. She’s got some good doctors, at some good hospitals, who know what they’re talking about, and they think Covid is definitely a factor. Now that could mean the initial week or so of Covid damaged her heart. Or that the long Covid issues were screwing with her results. There’s also a study that says it can kill off some of the muscle cells inside your heart which cannot grow back and that’s a serious concern. So you could end up with a heart transplant. But here’s hoping next week they’re both finally having dinner together and this nightmare can finally be, if not over, better controlled. I think they’re giving her a pacemaker now. Which is sad because no one needs a pacemaker in their 30s, although sometimes you do.

I think I walked a mile last walk and the time before that, or at least the last time anyway. I’m just starting my 2nd mile and at the end of that I’ll see if I can walk a third. I’d like to at least do that today. So far my right knee is holding out…

Regarding this bullshit about Medicare and Social Security with Republicans. There’s a news clip of one of them saying that those things are very important but so is military spending. But we review military spending every year. Well, dumb ass. The obvious difference there, which only a disingenuous fool couldn’t see, is that we don’t know from year to year how much military spending we will need with a current forecast. But we know that American citizens, our human beings still need to live and survive, to have healthcare and money to live on they expected, some for over 50 years. Kind of not an ever-changing thing like a military budget. That is so simple to understand and obvious that it’s offensive that a professional adult politician would speak such dumb words in public. But then, his voters probably won't notice. He's a Republican. (No, not all Republicans are dumb, but MAGA has altered the stats on that) So...

That was centered around comparing thing as "citizens need" to "military budget". Ron Johnson said that about those, I wanna call them "entitlements", because we should be entitled to them and we funded them ourselves as citizens, he says it’s a Ponzi scheme. Well, if you look at it critically, it’s not. Unless you’re a Republican, apparently. But let’s say it is. Well, then? Fix it! Something Republicans hate to do. Fix things. Because it opens them up to criticism and hard work. And compromise. They love breaking things and shutting things down and defunding things and crippling government. You know it’s a lot easier to take a sledgehammer and destroy a house then it is to build one that’s viable and functional that you can live in.

By the way, Rick Scott in Congress ,who is so against Medicare and Social Security? We need to recognize the company he used to work for, who was fined over $1 billion for fraud in those areas. Makes you wonder why he hates social security and medicare so much.

By the way, even Mitch McConnell can’t stand Rick Scott.

Thinking about this for a second. When you see news clips of some Republican, talking to a group of senior citizens about how we need to kill Medicare and Social Security, and they don’t say anything. Or maybe even applaud? Those are not people who need Social Security, or Medicare. Those are wealthy seniors who just see it as taking their tax money. First of all, fuck them. If you got that much money, you should be taxed. Get these Republicans in a room with a good deal of America who need help. The middle class, not the upper class, not the upper middle class. As I understand it, there’s wealthy people who actually use Medicare, while some refuse to rightly indicating it's kind of immoral. Yes, ethically if you paid into it, you deserve it. But if you don't need it and other do and you are after all a part of a nation, a society, yeah, like I don't know...help others? And I would bet they take Social Security, too.

I don’t know what the stats are on this, but if wealthy Americans are paying into Social Security all their lives? And they don’t need it at all in any way, shape or form? How about we don’t give it to them? Wouldn't that help? I mean, if I were a wealthy person, that would be my attitude about it? I have plenty, give it to those who need it. It's charity, it's partiotism.

OK, on the issue of privatizing Social Security, or for that matter, Medicare… or most things...No! Time and again we have seen Republicans push for the privatization of  things, at times even convincing Democrats, as it has so often turned out to be a complete disaster. One that they keep trying to keep alive. Ideology over reality, as usual. You don’t privatize prisons! It’s ethically and morally wrong. Just as the State, with a capital "S", should not kill its own citizens, so I'm against capital punishment (except for maybe people like Trump, who have massively harmed massive amounts of people). When the State takes away a person's, freedom, and imprisons them, that should be the government, not a for profit business picking up that responsibility. That is the government shirking ITS responsibility. That should be an alternate motto of the Republican Party: Shirk Responsibility!

OK I’m about quarter-mile into my 3rd mile (just after seeing the 1 year old and saying hi and bye), and my knee tweaked. I could maybe finish the 3rd mile, but it's safer to turn around and walk back. Let it rest and try again another day. Rehab can be painfully slow, but if you overdo it like (as with long Covid), you’ll really regret it and it can then take longer. When I get home, I need to stretch like the VA nurse said, and then ice it.

And now Adam Schiff is on the podcast…

So my blog is called murdockinations.com, and it’s about the machinations of, if not the phenomenal, the phenomenological mind of this sci-fi/horror writer and filmmaker/documentarian. Just wanted to make that clear...

Excellent! Adam Schiff just said that McConnell and Rrump stacked the courts and they need to be unstacked, and the only way to do that is to expand SCOTUS. And he’s looking at term limits. Finally, thank God. America’s been broken. It needs fixing. I don’t want to expand the SCOTUS but we have to fix things and sometimes it’s uncomfortable. He also mentioned Gerrymandering, as far too often the minority is running things or choosing the president. The minority needs a voice, obviously, but they don’t need control. Obviously.

In the end today, I got in 2.5 miles (6,115 steps) before having to turn home as my knee had finally had it for the day, even if I hadn't. Hang in there little guy.

Cheers! Sláinte!