Walkabout Thoughts #81

Thoughts & Stream of Consciousness, rough and ready, from an award-winning filmmaker and author you’ve never heard of, while walking off long Covid, and listening to podcasts…walking day, Wednesday, June 5, 2024

Weather for the day… starting out, 61° and 64° when I got home, nice out, sunny day, lots of blue sky with some clouds, cool breeze, perfect hiking day.

Took an Instagram shot.

Podcast Ep. 9: “Bulletproof” with Hannah Einbinder

I had put on Pod Save America which I always enjoy listening to and often learn something from. I’m so fucking sick and tired of Donald Trump and his MAGA disingenuous lying bullshit. I just don't want to take it anymore. We need to stay informed, but we have to live our lives. Trump would be happy to suck up our energies always focused on him. Naw...

I so loved this third season of Hacks and especially the final episode, especially the final 10 minutes. Oh yeah!

I’ve seen this sort of thing in my own life regarding the arts or even at times in my career in IT. We don’t always get what we deserve or have worked toward, and sometimes those in authority and power know that they aren't producing for you from their end, sometimes they are clueless, and sometimes they just do it for themselves or others for their benefit, rather than tossing something to those who earned it. Such is life. At least air is still free. For now...

I’ve heard music, seen films, and read the writings of those who never made it into the big time or a profitable career off of their art, or just a viable living. While others who have maybe half their talent have. But it’s all about timing, luck and perseverance, and the right kind of mindset many artists simply do not have

And that’s tragic.

I can prove that simply by pointing out all the sequels in films. I spent over 20 years in IT and though I should’ve done better, this is how it turned out. One thing I could have done was go into management. I had talked to my boss a couple of decades back about that. He told me not to do it. Not at our company, anyway. He had been a worker like I was then and my team was, and he hated being in management. So I didn’t do it and I think he was right. For me anyway. For him too, obviously.

And there lies my problem and excuse for why I have not done better. In some areas.

Money was not a priority in my life. My life was a priority in my life. My family was a priority. When you get to the end days of your life, and I’m approaching that stage, you can’t help but reflect.

When I look at my scattered childhood, I have every reason to be proud of where I ended up. I think that’s all we can ask of ourselves. My children don’t hate me, or dislike me and my family doesn’t want nothing to do with me. Even my older MAGA brother, I believe respects me and still feels I’m family. Regardless of our contentious moments, almost always because of politics. Ridiculous really.

He’s not stupid or ignorant. He’s just chosen to absorb things I considered an ill path to exist on. Especially as it regards groups of human beings, as in a society or a nation. It's not sustainable, as we're seeing today. Conservatism is good for specific times and issues. Perhaps in an apocalypse, perhaps during a war. But taking normal every day life and claiming it’s either of those things, all the time, leads to mental and social illness, and "life exhaustion". That makes us easier to manipulate. And then you end up with a MAGA, or cult-type mindset and begin to desire a leader like Donald Trump, where you cannot see his criminality, even after he’s legitimately been convicted of a felony or of multiple felonies.

The world is horrified that America is even considering re-electing an ignorant disaster like Donald Trump, who should never be allowed anywhere near the White House, or any kind of leadership. Not in public office and not in business.

I’ve never met a business leader so ill-suited to leadership and so bad at it, as Donald Trump. I have walked away from a few managers, but they were nowhere near the level of ignorance and abuse that Trump has achieved.

It’s sad. And therefore, we are sad.

It’s interesting, on my last walk when I was listening to Marc Maron's WTF? Podcast. He was one of the first to do a serious podcast 15 years ago, in September 2009. As he put it? He's still doing the same thing. He’s not added video.

I’ve been avoiding doing a podcast, especially with video. Although if I did a podcast, video would make sense today. Marc has enough of a fanbase he can do what he wants at this point. 

This is my 81st walkabout blog article. I looked this morning and was surprised to see as many people reading it as there are.
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I thank them for that. That is you... whomever is reading this. Although I do wonder why you’re reading this? I know why I'm writing it. But happy to have you aboard.

As you may know, I started doing this to engage my mind in trying to work my way through and out of long Covid since February 9, 2020 when this whole Covid nightmare began which has been particularly interesting and frustrating. Doing this blog has helped me regardless and if it’s been even a slight interest to any others? Well that’s pretty cool.

Back to the Hacks podcast... they’re talking about “Cliff Biff “, a retired big shot who had turned down character Debra Vance from running what I assume is supposed to be "The Tonight Show". I hadn't realized he was Hal Linden. Loved him on "Barney Miller" years ago. I haven't seen him for a while and well, we've both gotten older looking.

Biff tells Debra she’s talented in the show. Everybody knows that he said and she works hard. And everybody knows that. But if she were to run the show as host she would have to pray that no one finds a reason to say no to her. Because in being a woman it doesn’t matter how good she is. She still has to “pray “that nothing crops up to give them an out for a reason to say no to her." Well, that sucks.

But that’s also interesting. Because that’s today. How success can be defined. It’s a little different across different fields and industries. It may not even matter if you’re making them a lot of money. 

When someone famous says publicly, regardless of their talent, that luck had something to do with where they are now, they’re not being disingenuous. It’s a fact.

There are so many talented people around, but only one or a few can make it.

That’s life.

Today because of technology and social media more of us have an opportunity to get out there and be seen or heard or read. Because there are so many in our contained global economy. There’s only so much money to go around. So you can have massively wealthy superstars, like it used to be, or a bunch of little stars, or big fish in their little ponds, as it is today.

Which is better? Well, today we have diversity. And that used to be lacking. So maybe this is a good thing now.Music record labels used to make a few wealthy, but also rips many artists off.

So when you think like the character Debra Vance, wondering if she were just funnier or better would she have “made it", if you think you ARE already funnier and better, then you’re doing something wrong in another area, so look at that instead.

Generally, that's networking. Getting your work to the right people, or in the right place or time. Someone told me once to position yourself so that luck happens to you. Be at that “place or time" where good luck falls on whoever stands in your specific location in the time/space continuum. Be where Luck will be.

For me, through most of my life, I was raised and punished to be shy when I just wasn’t. I was outgoing and gregarious and funny as a child. In the 1950s that was embarrassing to the family. Same in the 60s when I was a little older but learned to tone it down and avoid punishment or spankings or whippings. ADHD makes you want to avoid overstimulation. You tend to seek it but when you receive it, it’s typically as a form of negativity or punishment. It doesn't have to be that way. 

Whenever we appropriately support those kids, we often see great things happen and not just for them, but everyone. Even while some of them may have interpersonal and social difficulties.

I’m happy to see shows out there like "The Good Doctor", where neural diverse people are raised up and their situations explored and different ways to interact with them are shared and promoted.

We are all different. But the majority of us learn to try and be the same. Successfully learning how to be kind of different in a way that makes them accepted as being the same. Fitting in your inability to fit in.

An anthropology teacher once told me in college that humans are a species set up to raise up leaders and some great leaders. But the greater the leadership, the more the irritation is to humanity so that eventually they want to cut them down or kill them. He gave Jesus as a prime example of that. Here’s a guy who grew up in a rich area in a region with caravans from other lands traveling through with new ideas. He was smart. He would discuss at a young age, things above his station. I’m not comparing myself to Jesus, but in the 1960s I fit that mold of trying to talk to adults about things they didn’t even know about. So I was condemned for it. Looked down upon for it. While Jesus was lucky to  find religious leaders who debated and discussed with him, apparently unafraid of looking stupid. How amazing is that?

And in the end what happened to Jesus? His own people demanded he be put to death in the cruelest of ways. Showcasing, what an extreme irritation he had become to the people he was trying to tell, "Maybe there’s a kinder, gentler way to look at reality and religion and God?"

I don’t buy into the God mythos. I don’t doubt there may be more evolved beings in the universe who we could perceive as a God. But what kind of God would come down and lay out strictures that would lead to so much abuse and tyranny and devastation? Where is the wisdom in that?

There seems to be nothing in the Bible (for example) where seeds were dropped that 2000 years later could be picked up and realized there was something more than those people could understand when the Bible was compiled. Built by the "Council of Nicea", by way of the emperor Constantine who had converted to Christianity and just wanted to keep his empire from dissipating. Religion is a great equalizer for authoritarians. Just ask Hitler. And you can see Trump utilizing the same nonsense. And the Christian nationalists.

Which is why we should fear not God, but organized religions. And not so much the religion being organized but the organizers of the religion. Sooner or later, they realize the power they have and we all know about how power corrupts. It' just too fun for some, and addictive. Some just take to it in the most evil ways possible. Others use it to do good, then realize cutting corners does more until suddenly, you're evil. How did that happen to YOU? You're such a good person. You mean so well, so you must still be good and the "evil" isn't evil and now finally, you're off that cliff, into the deep end and those who once loved you are now suffering and despise you. Or worse, one another because after all, you keep telling them how you are the "Good One".

It’s how I was originally attracted to Buddhism. Moderation in all things keeps us from that. Some people point out the example of how Buddhist soldiers in a Buddhist country are some of the most vicious fighters in the world. I would argue that was in part because when you grow up with anything as humans with our OCD proclivities, we always try to turn good things into religion. 

And therein lay our dysfunction.

Listening to this podcast about "Hacks" and about how a late night show could be all-consuming… makes me think of many things I’ve been talking about. I never wanted massive success. I just wanted to make a decent living to leave something for my kids to make their lives easier when I die and maybe help boost them up into a little more security as they age. 

I didn’t have that with my family. There was some money in my family. But as we moved to the West Coast in the 1950s, actually I think it was 40s for my grandparents and kids... when anyone died on the East Coast, since we didn’t see them that often, nothing came over to us. That’s fine. But then our West Coast family never made much of themselves. 

Grandpa did, but that went all to his daughters though that was a rough time. Mom burned through all that when my younger brother had liver cancer and died.

What went to my mom's sister from that has now gone to their only child, my cousin. Kind of my sibling's and my alternate sister. My mom was a spendthrift all her life. As she would say as a Catholic, she would “Rob Peter to pay Paul “. Because we never had enough money and when it seemed like we did, it was her clever financial tricks. Floating checks, or I don't know what. I just know we grew up with more and doing more than was reasonable or possible. Some of that was my step-father working two jobs. But that didn't explain it all.

I guess she did what I did when I got divorced in 2002. I took the house in the divorce, paid off all the bills for both of us, gave my ex all the extra cash, and then would refinance my house through the years to give my kids a better life than they would’ve had. I should’ve sold the house almost immediately but wanted them to have something familiar. Also got a puppy for the same reason. Distraction. Someplace new to put some love and attention.

This reminds me of my own art in my books and movies I’ve produced on my own. It’s rewarding. They won many awards worldwide. I had hoped something would come of that financially, but all I’ve done was pay out money to promote for now useful reason. Maybe. 

As with my most award-winning documentary, I discovered too late a song that I thought was public domain was not. I’m still working that out. If I can come to an agreement, maybe I can make a few bucks on it. I found a free legal group at an East Coast Ivy league University that does free legal work for people with situations like this. I just have to get the energy level up to deal with them and that situation.

Then my true crime drama screenplay “The Teenage Bodyguard". I've worked on that with a producer and script consultant and it’s won awards around the world. It’s a good damn story and a true crime story no one knows about. True crime is popular right now. So why isn't it getting made?

I don’t wanna make a fortune off of it. I’d like to make a few dollars from it, but… I had once told the producer and a director we talked to (we talked to three different directors), but they were all too small-minded for my taste. They were looking at a "teen romp", or something. I see this as the first producer who got me to write the screenplay in the first place saw it, who thought it was a good dramatic story. Apparently, those who have given it awards around the world agree.

So I told both the producer and director I see this as “Sarah‘s“ story, the woman being protected from 1974's Tacoma mafia after she had witnessed a murder they committed against one of their own. That means little to the producers and directors so far but it’s come to mean a lot to me that I would like to see her story told. More than mine. Because it’s a story of so many abused women like her back then and even still today. And that’s another thing this screenplay has. The whole "Me Too“ side of it. In my teens, I saw a lot of women who had lived through and survived the world men ruled.

It was interesting to experience. I experienced some of what those men experienced. It felt odd. I guess it was...I don't know. Women who gave up sex to you because you're a man and they know you want or need it, but they were detached from it. I prefer someone 100% into being there. Not just satisfying MY wants or needs. I guess I was on the cusp of that paradigm shift. 

In this story, this screenplay, almost as a kid, a teen in my last teen years, I was sitting there listening to an abused woman in her brand new bedroom I had just driven her to, where she was now staying, in trying to hide from that mafia. She was telling me about the guy who ran what was Tacoma's first topless restaurant in the Lakewood, Washington suburb, by the Villa Plaza. Just south of Tacoma.

In telling me her story at one point, she said “And the manager was acting agitated. I knew what he was like when he got that way and what would calm him down. And I wanted him calmed down. So I let him 'throw me up against the wall' for a bit and then he was better.“

“Throw you up against the wall?“ I asked. I thought I knew what she meant but the context was so bizarre and our of my experience I wanted confirmation.

“Yeah, you know. Sex. Up against the wall, in his office. The guys did that a lot with the girls there.“ Guys in an office, at a business, did that kind of thing? What kind of people WERE these?

At 17 it was an eye-opener about a world (of sex and crime) I knew nothing about. It was then she finally asked me what she'd been preparing to ask me: “I don't suppose you have a gun, do you? “She thought and added, “Probably a rifle though if you do, right? “

It barely surprised me and I responded. “No I do have a gun and yes, it’s a handgun."

That was when she asked me “Would you stay with me for a week until I can get out of town? I'd make it worth your while. But, but you’d have to bring your gun.“

"Worth my while?" Interesting.

That set the stage for the screenplay. It actually happened. And that’s just the beginning.

There’s a well-known screenplay website called "The Blacklist" that rates screenplays and does "coverage" (screenplay evaluations and reports) for them. I had multiple coverages done for the screenplay. Rewrite, and have another done. The last two were good. One of the reviewers asked, “Why hasn’t this been on a screen somewhere yet? “

And that was years ago…

OK. Back to the show HacksHacks. I love the character of Jimmy who is "Debra's" agent. Because he’s a good guy, and protective. And that really comes out in this episode although perhaps in a questionably inappropriate way. They like to explore how we are, how we interact with others and how that is obviously problematic. We just need to be more aware. It's not impossible, just kind of annoying. But I've been dealing with this my entire life. Now is just a bit more obvious.

Paradigm shifts are like that. They've always caused us grief until we acclimate. Problem now is, the shift isn't just advanced in volume, but we're dealing now a days in multiple paradigm shifts. And that's just painful.

I just happened to flash on what I was doing before I left the house for this walk today. I was watching C-SPAN from yesterday when the asshole Republican Jim Jordan, who chairs this judicial committee, a cosmic joke now, is having the committee question Attorney General Merrick Garland. Of course, it’s a partisan circus. It's what Jordan does so well. Waste our time and taxes on his Party's ridiculousness. 

I’m so tired of politics in this way. We elect these clowns to legislate and they spend their time trying to "own the libs" and tear down the Democrats to prop themselves up. Pushing them to disallow us any kind of legislation. Like to fix the Mexican border situation, as a prime example.

Makes me think of the Iranian hostages in the 1980s that Reagan brokered so he could win the election and not give Jimmy Carter a win for all the work he put into that situation.

I had two glasses of wine with lunch yesterday. Georgian Marani Mtsvane Qvevri AmberMarani Mtsvane Qvevri Amber or Marani Rkatsiteli Qvevri AmberMarani Rkatsiteli Qvevri Amber wine from over by Russia made in the old way in giant clay pot buried under the ground. Like 1000-year-old technique. I love this wine. They call orange wine. I prefer Amber. But as I was telling my siblings at my sister's last Christmas I think I like this wine because it’s “chewy “. My cousin who knows wine a little bit was very confused. What the hell is chewy, she asked? It's just lots of flavor, boldness. I think because they make the wine with the vines and the skins.

Starting my 4th mile

I heard this mentioned years ago, but I noticed my hands swelling when I was walking last year. Never experienced that before. So my sister, three years older than me, goes on walks at different parks around the area with her ex flight attendant girlfiends (she's retired), and said to me, “Oh yeah, as we get older, that’s a thing. You have to maybe hold your hands over your head as you walk for a bit to let it go back to normal."

And getting older just keeps on giving and giving and giving…

The "Hacks" podcast was just talking about season 3 finale in the airplane scene. That's so funny. Then about the final boardroom scene which is amazing. The scripts on this show are so tightly wound and written, and the callbacks are so delicious, even if you don’t like the conceit of this show, the writing is just so good it’s worth watching. And if you’re a writer (especially a script writer), you really wanna watch the show, listen to the podcast (for fun too!) and study it all.

I shared that last paragraph above with the Hacks podcast Reddit. Had to.

Oh, I should mention this. For the past week or so I’ve been watching franchise movie series. I went through the last three Star Trek movies because of something said at my friend's house in Tacoma, something his son said. I had driven over for his wife Angie’s lumpia that she makes. They are so good and I haven’t had any since the 1980s. Last time it was with our late friend Mark. So we celebrated him as we stuffed our faces. Miss ya big guy!

Those films got me onto the last Alien films, Prometheus and Alien Covenant. I went to look for the next film and it turns out it’s supposed to be released this year, or so says IMDb and is titled Alien Romulus. There’s some trailers going around, but they are just garbage.

So that led me into watching all of the Terminator movies. And wondering when the next one will be. I watched the making of, which was interesting and I dug out one of my DVDs of Terminator 3 and I want to watch the extras on it. I tried to watch & listen to the second audio tracks, which are with the Director and actors and another with just the Director, but my Blu-ray player refuses to play those tracks!

I also watched all of the RoboCop movies and some documentaries on that. A while back I bought "Robodoc" on the making of Robocop but then I found it for free on Amazon Prime. It wasn’t free when I bought the DVD, but that was months ago.

I bought the criterion version of the RoboCop movie yesterday, which I think is the director's cut.

So now I’m looking at other film series to watch (I actually still have "The Avengers" original TV series with Mrs. Peel to watch, and the Zatoichi series of Samurai films on DVD, and "Wolf and Cub" series). I'm just kind of into sci fi right now. I did action a could of weeks back (Bourne, John Wick, etc.)

But I’m not finding anything else as inspiring to watch the whole series of. I considered Predator and Matrix and others.

The interesting thing about these franchises is I don’t want to watch them again because I’ve seen them so many times and I know them so well. But as the Terminator series showed me, I don’t even remember some of those movies so it was fun watching them again. 

As if I could perform the mental forgetting technique as described in, Stranger in a Strange Land" where you can read your favorite novel, use the technique to forget it, and start again from the beginning. How many of us have wanted to do that with a favorite movie or even music album? (or relationship?)

The Hacks cliffhanger in the final episode for this season was one of the best of all shows I've seen this season.

I’m also watching a really good sci-fi show, "Dark Matter" on Apple+ (Joel Edgerton, Jennifer Connelly, Alice Braga), that screws with timelines. I’m really liking that show and the new episode comes out the same day as a comedy which is very sweet, "The Big Door Prize (Irish actor Chris O'Dowd). Love him, just wish he'd been in more things and more things I'd like to see him in. A similar issue I have with a very funny Irish comedian, Dylan Moran (Black Books). Love everything I've seen them both in, actually.

So that was the final Hacks podcast episode for this season, number nine. That show is so well set up for an amazing next season.

I was gonna switch over to Pod Save America, but then I thought I’d switch over to Pod Save the World (both Crooked Media projects) because they’re going to be talking about how the world is responding to all this stupid bullshit about Donald Trump who we never want to hear from again. If ever someone needs to be locked up, it’s that shithead loser. I say that as a professional using professional lingo.

Here’s the thing about Trump, but I’ve been saying this since he first ran for president. If you like him, if somehow you can divine what the fuck his platform even IS. If you like his platform, I don’t give a shit. Just get somebody else to do that platform for you. We just don’t choose certain bad people to be our leaders. And he is the fucking patron saint of criminals and bad people.

You just don’t allow some people to run the most powerful nation in the history of the world. I mean, are we stupid or what? Because literally, nothing else I’ve heard explains this phenomenon. When you have a cult that can get people to drink poison to kill themselves, purposely too, I don’t know, suddenly to magically appear on a spaceship out by Saturn, or something, as if there’s a logical excuse for what you’re being asked to do? I guess that could explain MAGA and how people can still support Trump.

I posted a meme and a blurb yesterday on Twitter, who is now apparently literally “X” in allowing X-rated media now. Gee should’ve seen that coming, huh?

I took that brief aside... now I can’t remember what the meme was.

Oh, yeah. This...

Al Capone, the Trump of his time, the better criminal, more charismatic creep, here in what would have been his MAGA-claimed weaponized court trial that finally brought him down & sent him to prison, forever. 

As Trump should be. Notorious gangster Capone was not officially affiliated with any political party. His political views were more aligned with toxic (Trump-like criminal) capitalism & just Machiavellianism.

So, it wouldn’t be accurate to label Al as party-affiliated on the available info...his actions were more about personal gain (like Trump) than political. Today, MAGA would elect Capone just as & for the same reasons they have Trump & now wish to AGAIN!

MAGA & the Trump GOP are now our party of crime & criminals with their actual national leader BEING  a Convicted Felon...just like Al Capone!

Weather today is perfect hiking day weather of broken clouds, plenty of blue sky light cool breeze sweating a little bit, but not excessively, not overly hot for hiking. I used to love backpacking in the mountains in. There’s so many things I did when I was younger at times just so I would have memories and now I have to thank my younger self for that. 

Thank you younger sel!. You did me a service, so many interesting moments… 

Thanks, dude!

Starting my 5th mile, yay!

Mexico elected a female president! Mexico! We barely got a female VPOTUS. Come on America! All this bullshit about MAGA. TRY to actually do something to move America into greatness beyond where we’re at now, or have been. Not trying to go backwards to be great, but progress into progression. Conservatives don’t even know what the word conservatism means anymore.
But give it a shot. Learn who you are. Or change your name.

I’ve been saying this all my life...to stay in place requires moving forward, certainly as a society, to maintain an equilibrium to maintain a status quo, requires progression to actually stay in place. Having no progress or progression is to go backwards and regress. And that is where the Republican party is today, who even say they want to go back(wards).

They want to break, not fix. They have no idea how expensive that is or how dangerous or how destructive, when it’s right there in the name of breaking something. They want to defund the DOJ, defund the FBI and defund our agencies created to protect us and our environment.

My MAGA older brother posted last week something about my "hero sleepy Joe Biden" or "criminal Joe Biden". So childish, so Trumplike. So delusional. Even if Joe were a criminal or his family were a crime family. They wouldn't hold a candle to Trump or his family. Sigh...

Anyway, pointed out to him he’s not my hero. That’s more for the other side. For his side. 

Oh weird I just walked by a woman who got out of her car and walked into the house. They were wearing a perfume my ex-wife used to wear. We got divorced in 2002. It was a weird wrench in the brain in kind of a good way and then kind of a weird way and then kind of a not-so-great way but this pleasant smell lingers. Oh well…

My point about my brother being as well as MAGA, Trump and Republicans, they seem to think we are the opposite of who they are, which just isn’t anywhere near the truth.

I have no undying loyalty to anybody. You break the law you should go to prison. But for whatever I’ve seen, Biden doesn't deserve it. Trump does. I would say Hunter Biden probably doesn’t deserve what he’s getting now, rather some of Trump’s kids do. What they’ve nailed Hunter Biden for is one of those things that is there so they can use it when they can’t get you in another way. 

Do you have any idea how many people do what Hunter Biden did, get caught and nothing happens? Some do get caught and something happens but we need to get into it and we'd see there was something else going on. Whereas what’s going on with Trump is crime, not politics. We can't get it through to MAGA that the DOJ, unencumbered by politics, brought indictments against Trump because he was getting away with Crimes! While the political machine tries to make it look all political, it's really more about an irritation of flaunting the law, breaking the law, and getting away with it. I said years ago, you don't make someone like Trump POTUS. THIS is WHY!

What’s going on with, Biden does seem to be just politics.

OK 4.5 miles reached which guarantees me at least 5 miles walk today! I love getting exercise, always have all my life. I miss the days of being able to work out and push myself beyond my limits. I can’t do that very well now, a little bit. But I have to be careful. Screw careful. Everyone should know that whatever exercise you get through all of your life it’s going to pay off in your later years. So just do it.

My youngest gets plenty of exercise since they kind of own a microform. My older son manages a retail health food store and then plays computer games all night and on the weekends. He has a side gig of gold mining but hasn’t done that in a couple of years although it’s still in the works and he'll be doing it again. Hard telling if he’ll read this year‘s after I’m gone. But I just want the best for him and I know that getting more exercise than you need for a day in your life is very important, especially as you get older. 

He got a massive amount of exercise growing up, being pretty hyper as I was. I just wish I could convince him to ride his bicycle the few minutes to work and back. Or walk there or go for walks or go hiking or go work out at a gym or get some home gear. I would even buy it for him to work with. 

To be fair, he is on his feet all day at work and that's something. I had a sedentary job in IT for the last part of my life and that could’ve been healthier for me. But I did go work out when I commuted, and that commute was an exercise. We also had a very nice health club at work. I would go over to work out at lunchtime, and when I worked from home, in the last so many years, I had equipment there to work out on.

Parents and their kids as adults...

I’ll just say this for everybody… Someone told me this rule decades ago that made a lot of sense. No matter how much exercise you get on a daily basis or in your job… You need to work out more than that to make your day easier, safer, and healthier. And there are long-term benefits to that which you cannot calculate. Well, there are always exceptions to the rule and for most of us that’s the case.

Pod Save the World is talking about the Israel/Gaza conflict. Or War. Whatever you want to call it. Look, what I’ve never understood was how you give land to the Palestinians and then allow settlements in those lands that are no longer Israeli land. I’ve heard lots of rationalizations about how that is or needs to be.

I’ll give you another example. If you give something to someone, it’s legally theirs. You can’t take it back. It’s therefor them to do whatever they want with it. So be sure you wanna give it to them in the first place. You can’t borrow it, because that stuff now, you can’t take it back, that stuff, now you can’t destroy it because that’s destruction of somebody’s property. And again that’s theft

I’ve heard people say the reason for the illegal settlements in Palestinian land is protection for Israel because of who and what and how the Palestinians are. My counter to that would be, yeah sounds tough. Sounds like it’s difficult. But you have to work something else out. Sorry. It’s their land. What the fuck are you doing on it?

And so they finally lash out in inappropriate ways? Surprise? Bet you wish you had figured something else out other than the way you handled things leading up to that situation, huh?

So what was your response to the attack? The slaughter of civilians with the excuse of trying to get those who attacked you?

Uh huh…nice.

Look, I was a fan of Donald Trump’s for maybe decades. Until he started the Obama birtherism shit. I wondered what the hell was up with Trump doing that. It had a feel to it of Soviet disinformation which I had studied for decades and then noticed in the 1990s that the Republican party was using some of those tactics within America... against Americans, for their political supporters support and their own benefit. That made me very concerned and I told people that, whoever would listen. I got a lot of looks of, What? Are you nuts?"

When I was in the USAF, right at the end, I interviewed with the USAFOSI and passed the initial screening and testing with flying colors, and asked to be assigned to Berlin. All I had to do was turn in my paperwork, and CID would vet me and I’m pretty sure it would’ve been good and I'd have been assigned to Berlin. Where I would inevitably have met Vladimir Putin. I decided to get out of the service and start college. But I continued as I had since high school, to study the Soviet Union and the KGB and by association the CIA and MI6, whom we simply know in the media by that name rather than by their name: "Secret Intelligence Service" (SIS).

So when I started noticing the Republican Party using tactics against us the KGB had been using against us for a long time. Which MI6 had taught us about for decades because they had long dealings with Russia over 100 years as Russia and the Soviet Union… in noticing Republicans using KGB tactics it was extremely disturbing. Especially since no one seems to notice in the 1990s or 2000s

Then I started looking into Trump when he ran for president and started to really understand what a career criminal he was. And really become worried. While others threw names at me like "libtard" and "TDS". It was shocking, actually. A bizarre experience because I wasn't dealing at ALL in politics, or disinfo, but reality and facts and decades of education on these things. 

But "I" was the "idiot".

I had great respect for Russian special forces and special elements of the Soviet Union. I had great respect for Israel's Mossad. And for Israel. And they were a benefit to be our friends considering where they’re located, although how they got that land after World War II was problematic. 

But they’re not showing a very good light as to who they are anymore and I find that troublesome.

My2CentsRepost/ @remy2cents

Georgia Clooney owning MAGA for your pleasure - 

check his video out.

On that note, my 5 filmes walked, I’ll bid you adieu…

It’s noon and time for lunch.
Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #74

Thoughts & Stream of Consciousness, rough and ready, from an award-winning filmmaker and author you’ve never heard of, while walking off long Covid, and listening to podcasts…walk day 5/12/2024 Mother's Day

Weather for the day… starting out, 59° nice sunny day starting out About 69° when I got home.

Podcast Prosecuting Donald Trump, ep. It's Not About Sex

I felt pretty horrible yesterday when I was walking. I went on the antivirals for long Covid for three days starting yesterday, a pill every 12 hours. I am already feeling better.

Quote for the day: "Any Great Stupid is still dangerous until it stops moving."

I have asked Copilot AI to summarize in a couple of paragraphs of what Al Capone would have been like as POTUS. Then compare and contrast that to the Donald Trump 45 administration. "POTUS" Al Capone vs FPOTUS Donald Trump

I’m so sick of hearing about Donald Trump. It makes me even more nauseous that we give so much attention to the narcissist (any narcissist) who so lives for the attention. For a grown man with his own version of Oppositional defiant disorder. For a national leader who claims victimhood as a form of being macho. Who lies constantly. And when he tells the truth, generally speaking, he’s just telling us what he’s going do or will make a joke of it once it's ralized what he's doing. And then? He does it anyway. He projects onto others his own crimes and current actions. I find this so vile. We see the GOP doing this of late, also. How can one not find this vile? And who would see such a person (or party) as having the material or character ever to be a national leader(s)?

The podcast now is talking about Stormy Daniels sometimes having to wanted to make money off of her story, sometimes not. And how that may appear to the jury as inconsistent or suspect. Maybe a jury of our peers should only be psychologists? I alwyas thought a "jury of your peers" was kind of nonsense anyway. What IF they did get that, peers of the defendent who really understand that person and their job and orientation? I wonder if there'd be more, or fewer guilty judgements?

We have in general very perverse belief about memory, recall, eyewitness accounts, etc. I’ve pushed forward on projects myself that I stopped and then went forward on after a while (referring to Stormy, wanting to sell her story, then not, etc.), all because of at one time, feeling strong enough to have the audacity to think it was a worthy project but at another time feeling weaker because of something that happened. I’ve been able to take a breath for a few days, collecting my wits and then moving forward again. So I don't see how that isn’t reasonable for what happened with Stormy Daniels. She's a person after all. Not to mention she had been threatened. Donald Trump is a scary little punk much fo the time with a bunch of money and more power than his money should portend. Then as POTUS we foolishly gave Donald Trump a shield against his criminal behaviors and one that is ongoing and ridiculous. I would argue anti-democratic, and has proven to be anti-American-citizen and anti-America.

Are “American citizens" actually American citizens if they are seditious and insurrectionist? Certainly treasonous would indicate no. So at what point are they not actual citizens? People are trying to claim that Palestinians are all Hamas and therefore the enemies of Israel. So are MAGA America’s enemies? Are they not?

It seems yet again binary thinking is the enemy of America. So, a porn star, now porn director cannot be surprised when that she walks out of a bathroom in a hotel room, after being invited to a dinner, that wasn’t gonna happen, and upon arriving meets Donald Trump in silk pajamas. Tells him to get dressed (because they were going to dinner, right?), certainly in her mind. He HAD said, or his Representative had told her that. So he gets dressed at her request, implying he’s playing along with the act that they’re going to have dinner. Then they never have dinner. Instead she gets cajolled into having sex.Thing is, had you asked her upon arrival, "want to have sex with Donald Trump, this old guy (remember at this time she's 27)?" I suspect she'd have said no. So how could she not have been fully cognizant and aware that what happened was going to happen? Please. Perhaps because she was a woman? Because you want to believe the best about others and for yourself? And to stereotypically presume otherwise, is just more toxic binary thinking in hindsight. About a stiuation we weren't ever in and Stormy was, and it’s just the worse form possible for us, for others? And why are we referring to her as Stormy Daniels, her stage name? She is Stephanie Gregory Clifford. As someone pointed out, Nikki Glaser maybe, we don't refer to an actor in court by his stage name in his latest film.

America’s problem, especially with Trump, seems to be a kind of flip-flopping in binary thinking in order to rationalize the best situation possible, in order to offer an ex-POTUS (and career criminal) so we can then be surprised in a kind of, “Casablanca style" retort as by Captain Renault, "I’m shocked to hear there’s gambling going on in this establishment.“ Please.

I decided to add into my previous Mother’s Day "walkabout thought" blog the Rosemary‘s baby meme, and the comments I posted elsewhere about my own oldest son. Maybe also the post I did today on Facebook about my and my siblings problematic relationship with our mother.

Did I add the Instagram post I made yesterday. No. But I just did.

I watched the entire first season of “Action “on Peacock streaming. I do hate the commercials every so often. But as I posted around social media the other day, if you’re regularly on a film set and there’s any action involved whatsoever, or you’re just a fan of action films, you really wanna watch this series. References go back to the first Matrix movie and the first "John Wick" and the guys who worked on those and then built their own company. Which where they’re now working on and they focus on in the series, like “Violent Night “and the one in theaters, “The Fall Guy“film, a version of the old 80s TV series with Lee Majors, the previous star of the $6 Million Man show, not to be confused with The Man Show.

End of mile one

Regarding long Covid lately, it’s been a rough 2024 so far. I’ll be 69 end of August and so far not enjoying the last few years at all. I expected old age to be much more entertaining and enjoyable. I’ve always had my health, so what the fuck happened? I blame Covid for this and my three infections from it. Even though I’ve gotten all the shots and boosters. Three weeks after I caught the last bout this year VA health came out and said "get your booster." Thanks guys. Great timing!

I’ve also had this weird thing going on for a couple of months on my right hand, ring finger, largest knuckle. Actually it's the proximal phalege. I don’t know, second phalange first phalange, I can never figure it out. But I woke up one morning to close my hand and that finger locked at that knuckle as I closed my hand. And it’s been catching like that. I figured it has to do with a lack of exercise. So I bought a gel exercise ball to fit my hand. Couple inches in diameter. Every day I’ve tried to do 10 squeezes with each hand and then nine, down to one. Tried to do that a few times a day. I don’t know, seems to be helping? I’ve got arthritis so it may have something to do with that. I’ve been eating 9 gin raisins every morning for a few years now. When I stop eating those, I feel the arthritis pain in my body, worse. I’ve seen some really old women in the news piecers replying to the question of "what do you credit your longevity to" and they said "Gin raisins". I don’t know, but can’t hurt.

Why does Stormy Daniel say that she’s not a "me too!" victim with Donald Trump? Because she’s a strong, intelligent woman. And yes, even those are susceptible to a guy conning them into a bad situation, or even sex. This has inevitably happened to millions of women throughout the history of humanity. Let’s turn this around. If this was Donald Trump rather than Stormy he would be screaming. "I’m a victim. I’m a victim. Me too! Me too!", to the high heaven. Don’t think that’s not true. 100%! And he would especially be claiming that if it was a lie because he’d be getting some kind of salacious deliciousness out of his fetish of lying to the public or anyone. Damn, this guy...

In Trump’s criminal court trial his defense attorney a shameless woman who said to Stormy in the witness box that she’s a strong woman when at 27 years old when all this happened and she should’ve been able to deal with it appropriately. Stormy‘s reply? “I’m a stronger woman now." Why? Because our worst experiences should inform our future selves.

I don’t usually eat sugar. Stopped that years ago, decades ago? I use agave. I’ll eat a little sugar as a treat once in a while. But I read in a study last year that it's a long Covid symptom, or certain aspects of it, that evokes a craving for sweets. I have to admit this past month or two, way too many sweets. No need to be putting on weight, even a few pounds. Dinner has been a cup of yogurt, lately, so I’ve been maintaining. But I seem to feel better and finally getting more exercise, so this feeling is diminishing. I’m really pushing myself to get in more exercise now that I’m feeling better and the weather is better. My lungs are still not fully healed from the last Covid infection though. Getting there, I suppose but it takes forever. I thought they would be better healed by now.

I know the court has to run how it runs, but claiming anything is abusive toward Trump in his court trial, this side of jumping over the witness stand and blowing his brains out, I would argue at this piont might be considered fair game. Now that’s not the case legally. Just morally and ethically, considering his utter disrespect he gave to our office of the president, to American citizens, to our US Constitution and our liberal democratic republic, so Trump pretty much deserves anything that happens to him in negative repurcussions he's earned. I do prefer to do this through the courts, but we're suffering fools here. I suspect we need some new laws for the next more enhanced version of a Donald Trump, career criminals made POTUS. Or we're fucked.

Little nugget of information… "Wicked Pictures" is one of the only adult film companies that require use of a condom onset. We know this because a FPOTUS is on criminal trial for election fraud and that's Stormy Daniel's company she has worked for. Why do you need to know anything more than that? 

Trump in his own words said a candidate in this situation shouldn’t be allowed to run. He said that in 2016.

End of mile two.

Damn. I just realized. My last podcast was on comedy and social issues and this one is on politics again. Sigh…

Here’s a thing about this Trump criminal trial. Had he not broken the law that requires this trial and information about Stormy Daniels, after the Access Hollywood recording came out, he would not have ended becoming POTUS. Director of the FBI Comey, pulling his bullshit about protecting the FBI over, protecting a national candidate in Hillary Clinton for POTUS, is another matter. I suspect we’re seeing that kind of crap with AG Garland. These people need to stop protecting their institutions and start protecting the US Constitution and the American citizen. YES, protect the FBI and the DOJ but when it's between them and citizens...CITIZENS! Between America and MAGA? Fucking AMERICA!

If God really existed, his (best) fake (worst) acolyte Donald Trump would immediately have a really bad stroke. So there that is I guess...

Donald Trump always negotiates his bills. Regardless that he OWES that money, he often gets reductions. Or he doesn’t even pay! I was once ONE week late, owed $7 on my home electric bill and the local small electric company put a lien against our house! The day I found out I paid it off. HAD they just called me I would’ve driven in and paid it off. It took some effort to get the lien off the house after that. So stop treating Donald Trump like a fragile glass object. He’s a career criminal. He ONCE was POTUS, AND? Deal with it!

Trump‘s accountant Allen Weisselberg prefers to sit in jail than testify against his former and current boss. As with Trump, who has plenty of money to pay penalties, you need to hit these people at a level they understand to feel the pain. While we would feel the pain as normal citizens, they won’t. Try giving Weisselberg 20 years in prison and see if he talks. Or  confiscate everything he owns and make it so that he can receive no further funds from Trump or anyone associated with him. Perhaps do what Trump does, and go after his family.

Yes, we don’t do that kind of thing because were the US government and we have a Constitution, and protections for our citizens (not that Trump cares if he can abuse us for his own good) and democracy, which Trump is trying to kill and that MAGA wants to kill and that the GOP is working to kill. But there has to be work arounds and we have to learn ASAP how this shit needs to be done... yesterday, not a year or 10 from now, as our jurisprudence tends to go sometimes.

Must be feeling better I’m getting rather long-winded and these blogs are getting longer. That’s a good sign. For me anyway.

Here’s an idea about Judge Cannon with the Mar y Lago documents trial for Donald Trump… Request of whomever you would request this of, that she not be replaced, so much as another judge is put into place for this, one who has a docket better capable of handling this, who is willing ready and able to act, before the election... because the American people have a right to due process and a speedy trial. Donald Trump and Judge Cannon do not have a right to delay tactics to avoid that situation. Or maybe they do.

While Judge Cannon's scheduling order is on her purview and requirements, I would say there’s an overarching requirement of the American people, who own the courts who are responsible to US, to get this trial done before further damages are done to the Constitution and the country.

I know the standards are high for replacing a judge on a trial, but we’re in new territory and the government has got to get its shit together and they've got to do it ASAP, or this country is going down. I don’t see things like MAGA who thinks they have to take guns to take over the government. It’s not how America is. That's how criminals work. And you may have noticed that MAGA are the ones who attacked Congress...

And so I’ll leave you with wishing you all the greatest success and health! 

Until next time! Sigh...

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #72

 Well, first day of a walkabout since catching covid the 3rd time. Got in 2 miles. Nice day, about 63 degrees, felt great. But I'm beat after a month of nothing except the store and doctors appointments.

Instagram video for the day.

Podcast Marc Maron WTF? with Episode 1535 - Tiffany Haddish

I have very little to say, just wanted to mention I got in a walk today.

I haven't been able to do any work of substance since end of last year really. Hoping soon. I was working on putting "Gumdrop", a short horror, up on Filmhub, but maybe not. They found too many problems for me to fix and I'm not sure I care. Kelly Hughes offered two other places to try, I may do that. 

Cheers! Wishing you all...all the best.

Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #71.5 covid not walking...

 What the hell happened?

After my last walkabout I got home and got sicker after my first 5 mile walk this year. Progress! Then... no progress. It is now a couple of weeks later after being unable to do much and losing ground daily on my walkabouts. Now I'll have to start building up to 5 miles...ALL OVER AGAIN AND I''M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!

I tested posted for covid for the 3rd time, two days after my last walkabout. I didn't think it was covid. Again. I'd gone to get a blood draw regarding my changes in long covid this year and I think that's where I caught this, I should have worn a mask. I mentioned that the the VA Nurse (see below) and she said, yes, I saw you did that and was going to say that may have been where you caught it.

That was a week or so of discomfort. What I've now been calling the most fun version of covid of the three bouts I've had (it's not fun). So I called the VA Nurse and he sent me to local urgent care to get Paxlovid via a VA program called "Mission Critical Care" ("You can use that 3 times").

So I took Paxlovid, three pills in each blister pack twice daily for five days. The day before I finished the meds, something else started. I'd had trouble getting my sinuses open, especially the top ones in my forehead, always a problem and I know that after only 2-3 days it can cause a sinus infection.

I finally was getting over it when saline flushes brought out blood from my sinuses over a few days...meaning I had a sinus infection. That's when I called the VA nurse again. She said it may be "Paxlovid Rebound" or covid rebound. 1 in 10 (10%) of people taking Paxlovid get this. Lucky me.

I thought maybe the sinus issue just caused a sinus infection, so take some antibiotics (which I avoid as I do tranquillizers and pain meds), and I'd be good. But she said let's hold off, see what happens, then take a test the day after I finished the Paxlovid.

I did. She had said not to be surprised if I tested positive as I probably would. I did not. So that's something. I've had all the covid shots, long covid twice, so would this new round of covid start me with a new round of long covid, again? April 1st was my 2 year anniversary of this last long covid experience. I'd hoped it would be done within 18 months like the first time, or 2 years. I mentioned the long covid to the VA Nurse who didn't know much about it.

This is an issue I've run into since I first contracted long covid in February 2020, health care professioanls know very little about it. Which was why I wrote a book on it, Suffering "Long Covid". I'm amazed still today how few are informed on it. It may only be 10% of those who were infected with Covid, but that's still actually a lot of people.

From Copilot:

As of 2024, the statistics regarding long COVID are as follows:

• 6.8% of American adults are currently experiencing long COVID symptoms, which is an increase from previous months¹.
• It’s estimated that 17.6 million Americans could now be living with long COVID¹.
• More than three-quarters of the people with long COVID say the illness limits their day-to-day activity¹.
• About 1 in 5 say it significantly affects their activities, which translates to an estimated 3.8 million Americans experiencing debilitating illness after COVID infection¹.
• Additionally, 7% of all adults reported that they have long COVID, and among those who reported ever having had COVID, roughly 3 in 10 reported having long COVID at some point².
• More than 17% of U.S. adults reported having ever experienced symptoms of long COVID as of February 2024³.

These figures highlight the ongoing impact of COVID-19 and the prevalence of long COVID among those who have contracted the virus. It’s important to note that these numbers can vary due to factors such as new variants, vaccination rates, and changes in public health policies

What happened? The VA Nurse said Paxlovid might keep me from getting long covid and may shorten the infection, but that even if I got covid rebound it's worth having taken it. I have not been feelin any long covid since taking the Paxlovid. THAT was hopeful!

I'm very hopeful that long covid may now end. But will it? Over 3 years of long covid off and on? I'm ready to be done with it, emotionally exhausted about it all.

So I now just have a sinus infection apparently and I'm waiting to see if I need to call the VA Nurse again for the antibiotics, which I'd like to avoid if saline flushing my sinuses works, I'd be good with that but if I continue feeling sick, sinus headache upon waking every day as today again (not yesterday when sinuses were clear), then I'll need the antibiotics.

The good side of all this, as I couldn't do anything but watch TV these past two weeks was that I saw some great shows.

"Sugar", just started on Apple+

"Fallout", on Amazon Prime from the video game I have over 700 hours into helping me get out of long covid in early 2022 and led to my producing my greatest award winning documentary, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero". Loved the show, can't wait until series two comes out.

I'd already watched the 30 ep Chinese version of "Three-Body" on Amazon Prime and newer ("Game of Thrones" producer related) "3-Body-Problem" on Netflix. Just wanted to give them a call out.

"Marcella", on Netflix was fun. 3 seaons.

Tried season 5 of "Virgin River" on Netflix, I uncharacteristically liked that show but this season is killing me. Maybe because it's a Christmas season but I can't get into it. Sometimes it just takes getting through a few episodes though, so we'll see?

New, "Shogun", that was fun.

"The Girls on the Bus", very fun.

"The Hunt", very enjoyable about finding Lincoln's assassin.

Just started, "Franklin" with Michael Douglas, starring. Like it very much.

So, time will tell how things go with this current respiratory infection as we watch the further demise of international lowlife Donald Trump in our country's first criminal FPOTUS trial of a career criminal authoritarian, our first to have run for POTUS, and who actually, ludicrously got it. 

We were lucky his first time. If he gets another he'll try to end America and be more effective at it in now having those around him who are not protecting America and are very into evolving an authoritarian country. 

Hopefully we're stronger than that, we are more aware of what a lowlife Trump is, he's lost many of his MAGA, and hopefully we won't lose the democracy these people hate so much. 

My older MAGA brother being one of them, the only one in our family where we all grew up democrat and a union (Teamster) family. I've been an independent most of my life, voting for the best candidate. The GOP in recent years and Donald Trump ended that, pushing me necessarily into partisanship. Something I find disgusting, binary thinking, and anti-American.

But we must fight against a GOP whose motto appears to be through actions: "Profit and power at any or all cost to any or all others, as long as it's not US." Corporate Thought at its worst. This is Russian level stuff, China level stuff. 

Better times are coming though, people. 

We cannot afford to descend into a Trump inspired Putinesque mire of RINOistic hate and division and despair.

And with that... I wish you all great success and health! Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #71

Thoughts & Stream of Consciousness, rough and ready, from an award-winning filmmaker and author you've never heard of, while walking off long Covid, and listening to podcasts…from walk on 4/3/2024

Weather for the day… starting out, 56° broken clouds, nice sunny day

Podcast, Prosecuting Donald Trump, ep., The Fair Administration of Justice

Second for the day, Pod Save American, ep., Trump's Veepstakes Begin

NOTE: This is the next day when I'm ill with the flu now (see the end note). Rather than edit this, I just can't...this is what it looks like without editing in one read through. Most of the mistakes are voice to text errors due to environmental noises or stream of consciousness issues. Probably be a while before I feel well enough to edit this so I'm just tossing it out there for reasons of timing. I wish you well!

So after I regretfully, took half of a melatonin at 2.5mg to get to sleep last night as usual, I woke with “wet” lungs, and not feeling that great. Thank you on Covid and who knows whatever else might be going on. But I’m out walking. Wish it was just a tad bit less cool.

Just want to mention something about energy. I’ve been a strong believer as a long time computer “power user”, being someone who utilizes all and more of what a computer and program can supply, an energy power user believer. Yes, I do believe in Green energy, and I believe we need to conserve under our current circumstances. But I also have a belief that we should be utilizing all the power we can access. And the reason for that, is we need to solve the issues about the power grid being updated and as much energy as free as possible to every human being. That might sound counter to the paradigm with green energy but I would say it’s parallel to it. If tomorrow we solve cold fusion and we upgrade our power grid and our battery situation for peak usage times and somehow it’s so profitable it’s free to everybody than everybody would be able to use all the power they want and we would be able to enhance the quality of the human experience overall as well as the ecology and through time we would become ever more green with more usage price goes down and cost goes down as in the cost to anything.

The film many should be seeing, rather than the propaganda they are...

Against All Enemies goes deep inside the violent extremist movement in America, with members of the Proud Boys, 3 Percenters and never before seen footage of the Oath Keepers. These groups -- organized and led by highly-trained, highly-motivated military veterans -- pose the greatest threat to the United States today. And while most veterans are successful in their transition to civilian life, after the longest wars in our nation's history an increasingly radicalized element has been drawn into the insurrectionist movement.

That being said, I got onto green energy with Puget Sound Energy along time ago and they first offered it. It was a little more expensive and I only did a parcel. I then built up to half of my energy being green and went full green as soon as it was available. That being renewable energy sources and avoiding fossil fuel energy production.

Something called Arcadia came up and I signed up for that along time ago. They recently changed over to Sal systems. Whatever that is. And now we’re at a point where this is all just confusing me. I just got notified that I had a double energy bill. I paid it and reset up automatic payments. Still not sure what happened with that but in reviewing my energy situation, I’m finding myself a little confused. So I’m completely. Signed up with Puget Sound Energy again and trying to figure out what the hell is going on and what I should be doing.

I just wanted to mention that in case anyone else is confused or interested in going more or completely Green because I’m pretty high-tech and I’m finding this confusing. Not because of the technology, but because of the bureaucracy.

I’ve done well in digital currency. I got about that same amount in my stocks. For various reasons my 401(k) from retirement is gone. But I still have Social Security and my retirement from the company I retired from. I will never understand what the hell Republicans are doing making so much noise about things like Social Security when it isn’t what they’re selling it as. But then again, they’re in this information and keep it alive the Spectre of the old Soviet. That’s not partisan banter that’s commentary from someone who studied the KGB and the Soviet system for decades and noticed in the 1990s it suddenly, I saw the GOP evolving using KGB tactics, including this information that is only gotten worse until they served us a Donald Trump.

The podcast is talking about the gag order on Trump and how would that works with most people. And one thing in certain conditions is you can’t possess a gun or carry a gun anyway. I just like to say from someone who has been trained in Firearms beginning in 1968 I was in the military And has played the role of bodyguard armed bard bodyguard multiple times in the past when you have Secret Service protection in the last thing you need to be doing is carrying a guy because who you gonna end up shooting if you ever need to pull your gun. Show how often People are shot with their own gun, but my concern here would be a dumbass like Trump and a coward, such as he is accidentally shooting a Secret Service member or a civilian. Even if he shot a criminal, I would not be surprised to hear. But the bullet went through and hit, or killed a Secret Service agent, or a civilian. Because that’s who, and what Trump is. Cowards tend to not do well carrying firearms in dangerous situations. Which is why we need more controls over who’s allowed again and who’s allowed to conceal carry again or who’s allowed to open carry gun.

That wasn’t about a gag order above but more than a gag order, which is being considered because of Trump‘s ill behavior. Trump doesn’t act like a ex president in this court situation he acts like he thinks he’s king. For those people who think that’s admirable it’s not. Extreme lowlife act better in court, which says something about Trump‘s character. Trump acts like a poor person who thinks he’s rich acting how he thinks a rich person should act which is basically like an asshole because he can get away with it. That is a bully. Nobody likes a bully. But those it or not favor authoritarianism find that person as a positive positive role model of an alpha male, or a leader. Trump is one of the most horrible leaders I’ve ever seen in my life and the type of person I have always avoided.

It’s been accurately noted that since this trial stuff has begun, Trump has attacked judges, 117 times and threats against the judiciary has doubled.

That’s not the behavior of a former United States president. that’s the behavior of a spoiled, petulant, oppositional behavior, tight child

My older MAGA brother, who is bought into toxic conservatism as labeled me, repeatedly live tired, and TDS, which the joke is on MAGA because that’s what they have. I just find it interesting that throughout my life, my studies into things like the KGB, who are much more professional than anyone like Trump or the GOP, although very underhanded means… All those people I have understood to be, and learned by behaviors to be the worst possible types of leaders, and people is exactly what Trump is and many of those who follow him.

From the beginning, when Trump started running it, POTUS, I didn’t care about his politics. In fact, I didn’t care if he said and promised everything I want in a president. Certain types of people you do not hand power to. Pathological narcissist is one personality type. And I don’t say this is a partisan, it is someone who studied psychology and from my objective point of view, Trump is the last person you give the most powerful office in history of humanity to. I mean, if you have a clear head look at what he’s done and all the damage he’s fomented, and what he’s promising to do more of.

I keep saying this. People who are complaining who like Trump are complaining from a point of democracy and how this country is now. If they hand power over to Trump, he will take it this time in his final second term with no fear of either being elected again or ever leaving office and these people will be living in will not be with their complaining from now where they have the freedom to complain.

As someone said, business leaders, and the wealthy who are now supporting him to get what they want, and to enriching themselves need to face the reality that all it takes for them to be in serious trouble or their company, slandered, and ended for themselves jailed or some MAGA supporter killing them, is to have a child who posts on social media something against Trump. And Trump taking this favor to them or their company or cause. And suddenly they will wish they had never heard the name Trump. Now is the time to not want to hear that name not when it’s too late.

Who is the most dangerous people on the planet? Theocratic extremists. And Trump is siding up to them and they are supporting him because as they say in their own words, he’s doing this for us and he’s being prosecuted for us. And in the whole Christian religion, we feel that deeply and support him even though he’s a sinner in fighting for us.

That is so much nonsense it borders on mental illness

I was posting elsewhere today that to debate requires common ground of reality. Until we were, they heal from their psychosocial illness we have no common ground on which two debate with MAGA or some of the GOP and that’s kind of a problem. Luckily they’re in the minority. But when you have an entire political party who refuses to follow rules or decency or ethics from morality that put those in the correct lane of the national highway following the rules of the road while others are taking potshots and ignoring the speed limits.

All of America outside of MAGA needs to understand and actualize. This is not standard operating procedure or up against, and that has been weapon against us.

In 2000 I voted for vice president Gore as POTUS. While I knew George W. Bush wanted to go to war against so I’m Hussain in Iraq. He had no recourse to do so. When America elected Bush, I threw up my hands but I realize they’ve been duped. It takes us back to the Awareness I had from early 90s that the GOP was tired of losing and had taken on underhanded tactics if not glean from the KGB definitely paralleling them.
The 911 hit and all bets were off and Bush could do whatever he wanted. The Intel community told him there were no WMD. Every time they told him the Oval Office sent them back out “to find some.”

Until finally, they found someone who would and did, and we went to war with an Iraq.

up to that point after 911 hit, I kept telling people America was hurt and they were frightened, and they’re going to punch some country in the mouth most likely one who had nothing to do with 911

In case you haven’t noticed that exactly what happened

When they reelected bush, which is expected during a war, I really threw my hands up and gave up on America. Once I get that fool me twice you’re lost cause

And then we elected Barack Obama, and there was hope again. And eight years of that made us complacent just like decades of Roe versus Wade protecting women’s rights made us complacent.

I graduated high school in 1973. I went in the Air Force in 1975 as Vietnam era. my last semester of high school was civics and world problems by a person who had actually worked in that field who had met Chag KI Shek in an international working group in Taiwan. I received a good education just in that. Looking back it was probably the best things I learned in all of high school so I didn’t think so at the time I love the class because of the teacher.

When Rovers Wade happened it was much rejoicing, and from that point on, I started to think OK good but now you have to have Congress actually make it a national federal law don’t rely on a court case which we did. And now we regret that.

Of course, having three conservative justices elevated to Scotus, who swore it was a done deal and they wouldn’t mess with it when they got the opportunity they did exactly that and again here we are today

Just turning around at the one and a half mile mark… Yay, it’s warming up. Whenever I make this walk, I leave the house and head south on the peninsula. When it’s cool, cold wind hit me in th when I turn around and head home in the half mile. It’s at my back and sometimes I don’t even notice if it’s cool. Today one of those days were both directions I’m in the face with the wind.

Where is all those MAGA second amendment nutcase is out there, whose children have been slaughtered in a mass, shooting to say that those are crisis actors, or to continue their support of insanity or to continue believing the faucets of things like trickle down economics, and only a good guy with a gun can stop a bad guy with a gun, both of which have been proven fall so many times it really does border on mental illness to continue on that toxic capitalistic path actually. Because if you dig down into any of this, it’s all about power and money for the right or power and money for the wealthy or power and money for the powerful. And while you can poke fingers that Democrats are independence is only one party of big business who overly claims to be that, the GOP who are no longer grand and haven’t Been grand for going on 40 years now

From the podcast: they’re saying this is essentially what Trump is claiming in his court situation: “I’m running my mouth, so I shouldn’t have to go to trial.”

So do I ever get sucked into conspiracy theories? No. Not since I first stumbled across them in the early 70s. I came across my first conspiracy theory reading the book struck me something is not right. And it was written by very high military leader. So I couldn’t disprove what he was saying which has since been disproved, and in fact, that book is completely disappeared. But I did learn about conspiracy, theories, and from that point on, I’ve never fallen for conspiracy theories. A few times, I may have it lasted only as long as I vetted the information and found it false and that has been literally took me 30 seconds a couple times to disprove typically a few minutes and it’s never gone on longer than a few days or a week, and I actually can’t remember it lasting a week but maybe. What I discovered about MAGA when Trump took off his POTUS and there were so many conspiracies and lies and bullshit MAGA denigrating the rest of us who were based in reality what I found is a university, trained researcher and a previous senior, technical writer, you can get more based in reality than that not to mention degree in psychology, was that I would vet the crap that people threw at me and I would find the first thing I found, supported it, and sometimes the second layer down, supported it, but almost never the third or fourth layers down. And I took that to. mean one thing. That conspiracy theorist I was dealing with either did not vet their information and believe the memes they were seeing or the information thrown at them, back, then the misinformation, and soon they’re after the disinformation, and that is nationally where, as internationally Russia was hammering us with disinformation tactics, but so was the GOP. That if you could even find someone who said yes, I vetted my information. Especially if they said I do my own research. That’s a huge red flag. Because most people doing their own research is vastly different from someone like when I do my own research. Because it’s childhood my aim has always been truth not my beliefs.

Starting mile three…

Anyway, when I would ask these conspiracy divers, did they vet their information? And into what they did for those who would admit it, they would go look it up somewhere typically on a conservative info bubble website. But not going out as you should at least three disparate information sources who would typically disagree with one another. Because that’s the gold standard. If enemies agree on reality, you’re probably somewhere near to it.

I would say, most of these people did not vet their information at all. “I believe my source “ sometimes I’d ask who’s your source and they’d say Donald Trump. Did I say more? For those who vetted it was they go to one website maybe two and that was it. There is a few times that I mean very very few times where someone would say yes, I vetted my information. And I would go out and vet their information and they would be correct. It would disagree with my beliefs. It would rankle me. But I adjusted my information and my orientation to fit what I found to be reality. Those people were very very few and far between.

On exercise and long Covid: i’m lucky, I’m retired. I don’t know how lucky I am, and that I worked my tail off my entire life through a lot of family issues and emotional situations and bad managers and bad jobs… No, I’ve been lucky that I’ve chosen mostly good managers, and good jobs. but when I decided I need to exercise for my life to help camp down long Covid couple years ago my attitude was as I’ve discussed before with other things. My life is now about getting those miles in. That’s how I got to college. Nothing in my life mattered as much as graduating. Nothing mattered as much as finishing that quarter of school, I did not worry about grades. Of course I tried to get the best grade I could, but I often found I was up against learning a lot in a class or getting a good grade and I opted for learning a lot. I don’t think they were many who studied as hard as I did, or who was at the library as much as I was. researching. Because I knew once I graduated if I didn’t go on to post graduate work and get a masters or a PhD… My mind would likely never be as sharp as it was at graduation, and I would never have the kind of freedom within the constraints of the class structure and the degree structure to learn as much as I had the opportunity to learn at that time and over those four years. since I went to summer school each year and I took enough credits each school year if I’d stay around for less than another year I would’ve had 2 university degrees. I thought about it but I was kind of burned out. I thought about going for my masters, but I really just wanted to be a writer.

Why did I get a psychology degree if I wanted to be a writer?

Maybe a literature degree would’ve been better. But I had enough problems from childhood that I wanted to resolve. I figured a psychology degree was a free therapy session that lasted years. And it worked out plus when you’re a writer you need to understand character development. Who understands that better a Lit major or a psych major? And so that’s why I got a psych degree. One quarter was a class that was basically a three month group therapy session with students and a professor. I refused. I didn’t want to feel exposed and paranoid. I talked to my professor, and we debated it until he finally said look if you want to psych degree you have to do this that’s the end of it. And so I did it. It was difficult for the first few days and it got easier. I’ll tell you, at the end of that quarter? I was a more relaxed and open person.

Two weeks until jury selection for Trump’s trial. I don’t know why it’s so hard to get this guy through the court system like all the rest of us would have had to go. If this was any of us, the trials would be done and we’d be in prison by now.

This is kind of sad. I’ve been looking for one of my best friends from high school for decades. People complain about Facebook? And yeah he’s got problems. It’s caused a lot of problems nationally and internationally in one country. People even died because of it. But I’ve been able to reconnect with a bunch of old friends And stay connected to distant family.

Brother has kids. His son has a friend. One day they were talking and I don’t know how it came to be but his friend contacted me on Facebook and asked me if I knew his stepdad. And it turned out his stepdad was at best friend from high school and afterwards. This is a guy who’s older brother and I went skydiving the day after his I want to say 19th birthday? I was younger than him. When I graduated all my friends were 18 and 19 and I was 17. anyway my friend in the screenplay “the teenage bodyguard “, is mostly this guy. Sweet guy. We have some adventures to tell. Like skydiving that day with hangovers for the first time. Skydiving the first time, not having a hangover.

Anyway, this guy that reconnected me with him is pretty MAGA. Like my older brother. Like his son as happens with sons and dads. my kids are not MAGA because I raised them with an open mind and a sense of reality and education. They don’t follow my lead by any means they have their own views, and we have interesting discussions and debates. But we have a great relationship.

This guy I’m so grateful for reconnecting me with his dad attacked one of my posts on Facebook couple days ago. And it’s just been hammering me about you you know whatever MAGA people say when you disagree with them. About how bad Joe Biden is for instance. You know I’ve looked into all these claims about him that MAGA professors to be true and You don’t even get past the first level of vetting before it proves false. So my intention of late because I quit debating these people before the end of the Trump administration because it’s useless and a waste of my time. I got sick of prove me wrong! Or show me where I’m wrong! I spent three fucking years doing that and no one believed anything I said even though it’s solid information solid sources solid facts. So now I just know that the issue is my latest blurb, which is basically MAGA in the GOP have a psychosocial poor health issue that we, and they mostly they need rectify before we can ever have common ground like reality, to debate from, and that’s it. That’s all there is to it.

America has a split personality and while this side is annoying and a very small minority extremist not like the right portray at all, but they do have a cycle, social mental health issue, and a leader, who is pathologically narcissist.

There should be no need to say anymore ever about that. I like Obama a lot. But if he acted like Trump, I would’ve turned on him in second. When we have a POTUS, they are people they make mistakes. Hopefully they try their best. But when all you do is present is play golf, as opposed to those who stay up late into each night, studying world issues, national issues who actually do something and try and have a party behind them who wants to do positive things, they are the better party. The GOP likes to sit back to as little as possible. Maintain their positions and blame the Democrats for screwing up. Here’s a news piece when you do things you screw up then you fix them. You don’t do nothing or try to break things defund which they’ve been doing a lot longer than BLM decided to defund police which wasn’t about finding the police but properly funding them and getting them help as they’ve been begging for 40 years. I grew up a blue-collar family, a Teamster union family, a theater, workers union, and I was a wrap in the early 70s in high school, and a democrat. Soon as I turned 18 I voted in the next election. All of my life I voted for the best candidate and I didn’t bother with party. That is new to me.

We have to do better.

Starting my 4th mile…

So John Eastman, Trump’s buddy was judged guilty for helping Trump conspire against the election. That can’t be good for Trump and his trial. This is from the podcast. They judging this trial, so it said there was clear and convincing evidence not merely a preponderance, which indicates over 50%. So he’s saying the Donald Trump absolutely did what he’s charged with. So it’ll be interesting if they can use this trial at all in the other trial and the way things are going probably not.

I don’t know if you’re aware of this? But the one national entity and state entities who have supported the law in all of his trumpets, is the bar associations. And they’re removing the license to practice law from those criminal Trump supporters who are now convicts they are doing a patriotic and substantial duty to America and the law. And this actually includes many attorneys, who agreed with Donald Trump, or supported him, but did not sign up for breaking the law, or losing their law license like those who have supported Trump in an insurrection already have.

This was bugging me last night. If anyone reads this blog and wonders why from time to time I mentioned my health or my physical progress on this walk. That’s just for those out of shape, wanting to get into shape and those with Covid or long Covid who are suffering and can see how at least one person is handling it. And they can see how I push myself but then I mindfully consider when to give up and take a break for the day or whatever. So this really isn’t ego or narcissism on my part. If you know me, that’s just not me. I was raised with plenty of reasons to have poor self-esteem, and have to fight through that grown-up, but with a very critical mind that could compare Social reality to actuality that surrounds us.

Just thinking about Covid. If I had not caught Covid in February 2020, and again end of March 2022, I would have so much more done. I might have another couple books published. I might even have another couple of films produced. I hadn’t thought about that till just now, I was just remembering novel I started a while back maybe 10 years ago I’d like to finish. And I realize it wasn’t for Covid right now. I probably could have the time and enough projects behind me that I would feel comfortable spending on finishing another novel. I thought all the age would find me in better health. And I could travel more have more energy. Get more done. Wow. Not so much. But I’m positive and hopeful always and optimistic. And I hope I’ll hit a point where I am again doing well. Healthwise. Regardless I’m still getting older every minute.

How is moving forward. Always trying to do better. Remember that to maintain equilibrium and to maintain your position requires progress and movement. And to think that you can “standstill “movement is to have no observation whatsoever of your own history and knowledge of the world, or humanity or physics.

Ha! I haven’t mentioned this a long time… I grew up in the 50s and 60s and 70s in watching old movies and adventure movies and eventually Indiana Jones and all my life. I’ve tried to find Native American arrowheads or prehistoric hand tools or whatever. I’ve been around the country and I’ve Backpacked The superstition wilderness in Arizona for days. I can’t remember ever finding any kind of historical artifact until I moved to Bremerton Washington. And within a year I found two certified hand tools on the street just in the gravel on the side of the road.. verified by an actual archaeologist. Funny that. I assumed maybe somebody dropped it who knew what it was and was sad they lost it or what seems more reasonable to me is the city trucks in road gravel from outside the city and it was probably just in one of those dumps from out in the woods somewhere or wherever they get gravel originally.

On the podcast she says there’s always been bad lawyers. Well there’s always been bad presidents. But with the advent of Donald Trump, putting Nixon to shame there is now only one bad president in American history. And it will take a lot and possibly Trump again or someone far worse in the future to be the second worst president of our bad presidents which will most likely require the ending of the United States of America for something far far worse as Trump is trying to do now. I say let’s not let him.

Now up on the podcast, Jeffrey Clark, who is worse than John Eastman because he had a position in the DOJ

Just a reminder, Donald Trump is POTUS45 over 30,000 lies to the American people. And took the fifth amendment over 400 times in his deposition.

Starting the 5th mile…

15 year old Transgender Day visibility fell on Easter this year. Biden has said something about it on that day the past four years. But literally anything Trump can whine about and his Maga GOP can be pissy about they will be. We fear and hate what we’re ignorant about. Which are transgender people to conservatives but not MAGA to the rest of us. Whom we know all too much about thank you very much.

Trump and GOP the leaders in manufactured outrage

Here’s what I don’t get about the transgender evangelical Christian bullshit. Didn’t Jesus meet a leper in the Bible? Was he mean to him? I bet anything he met a person who today would be transgender and was he mean to him? I bet he was kind. Because that was kind of his thing. Transgender is a minority. There’s not many of them around. I have some fucking compassion if you’re angry about them learn about them so that you won’t be angry anymore and you’ll feel sorry for him and have some empathy. Thank God I’m not Gay or an ethnic minority, other than white or saying, maybe Muslim or trans or any of those things I didn’t have to suffer through other people of using me over that is none of their business. If you don’t like something, turn your head or turn the channel. This anti-white racism bullshit is exactly that. When you’re the majority and you start seeing yourself as a minority and you start feeling butt hurt because other people are starting to get a little of the light of the world, and of course you’re gonna lose a sliver it’s not half it’s a sliver. And if everybody gets there do sliver at a time you know what that sliver after sliver adds up to? Just a bigger sliver. But it’s still a sliver and it’s not really a piece of the pie. So shut the fuck up. I don’t understand this Christian nationalist white wing extremist we despise compassion and empathy, but we like to call ourselves Christians nonsense. The way I see it, your Christian or you’re not or your American or you’re not and I’m seeing a lot of people claiming to be religious or patriots and they’re just not supporting with their actions and beliefs.

By the way, I use the term oh my God once in a while. I grew up with it. I was raised old Slovak school Catholic in the 1950s and 60s and that’s my right I earned it just as I earned educating myself to understand how abusive religion has been historically, and how, especially Christianity and Catholicism literally murdered people to stop religions replacement as that of science and psychology and sociology and education in general, which has traditionally been an asthma to religion. Because the more you know the more you know. Trump said white? I love the uneducated. It’s not for the reason you think.

Wow! I am now turning around to head home at the 4.5 mile mark that means I made 5 miles plus today. For the first time this year. On a day I woke up not feeling good and my lungs are being kind of weird. I don’t feel too bad. I feel beat to hell. But not as bad as when I finish 4 miles two days ago. This is definitely progress now I just need to make the next two walks over the next week each 5 miles and I’ll have pretty much locked in for the rest of the year.

It’s 12:20 PM, so when I get home… Lunchtime!

Listening to the pod Save America podcast now because the other one finished. They’re just talking about what I mentioned above which they were talking about the Eastern transgender thing. And one of them said in a statement by I don’t know if Trump or somebody they mentioned Christians and Catholics. And one of the pointed out Catholics are Christians. I would point out Christians I’ve known generally don’t say they are Catholic. I know a little about the history of Christian and Catholics. I learned even more when I wrote my story that may culpa document of London. Which I mentioned in my last blog.

I would just like to mention that if your religion not only doesn’t allow for gay people and trans, people, such and non-binary, and you have trouble with non-binary, thinking the problem there is it with those people but with your religion and the way you think. I known plenty of Christians who are just fine with all of that, but they’re not binary Thinkers.

I discovered after a few years of marriage to my youngest mom, and now ex-wife. We were very different people. She was very cowgirl and a professional horse rider, trainer and instructor. Grew up in the farm life. I grew up in cities and suburbs. I grew up with a mother, who was, very interesting in her psychological make up. But I don’t think I was ever a binary singer after I got past kindergarten? I wonder if we should see people stuck in binary thinking as having a developmental challenge? Not mentally incompetent, just at times. Not sociologically inept just too often.

The podcast just conjectured if when we wanted Biden to win and beat out Trump in 2020 if we all didn’t get a little hooked on the Trump bullshit and when we said we wanted a boring president again we kind of didn’t? Well, I was one of the people saying that, and I mean it. And the way I mean it is, I love when I never hear from my leaders and they just do a good job. I saw having to see Trump every day on TV when he was POTUS 45 as the worst nightmare for a leader you could have. I always enjoyed seeing Obama when he talked about often it was about that shit but he was handling. But I wouldn’t want to see him on TV every damn day. I want to think he’s off work for us and he has delegated to professional mouthpieces to speak for him, has his historically tradition. When you see somebody like Trump in front of the TV every day that’s just a fucking narcissistic asshole. And in Trump‘s case a supremely ignorant and bigoted one.

And I’ll leave you with that. I made my 5 miles first time this year!

And it’s noon and time for lunch.
Temperature is 56° now

NOTE: It's now the next day I got home and started feeling ill within a few hours and the flu hit me hard. Home Covid test came out negative. I called the VA nurse who suggested I go to emergent care in the morning as they were closed. In bed trying to sleep my lungs felt raw. I woke feeling pretty crummy but my lungs, though weak feeling, didn't feel raw, nor did my throat. This does not feel like Covid which felt like something vile was in my system and acid in my veins. I called emergent care and they were busy, I left my phone number and they never called back. Finally I called the cancelled. I don't feel great but I'm not concerned it's something bad, just miserable and time will heal things 

And with that... I wish you all great success and health! Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!