Walkabout Thoughts #78

Wishing you all a safe and thoughtful Memorial Day May 27, 2024, a day for all we lost during their Servies and in war.

I served in peacetime during the Cold War in the late 70s at a USAF SAC Nuclear base of B-52 bombers. We had Soviet agents around. I met at least one of them I know of. My older brother who did not serve, I knew many of his Vietnam vet friends he'd had since high school. Most of them are long gone now, those who had made it back home. War had damaged them if not physically, mentally, and emotionally. My dad served in WWII as had my step-dad. 

Let's come back together to stop all this tribal separatism that truly only serves those enemies of ours whom we're now not thankfully observing from across a no man's land in war. Our being E Pluribus Unum, Out of Many, One...is our greatest benefit and protection against all of those who would end us for their one benefit.

There's a lot to consider on Memorial Day for me. 

For us all. 

Thoughts & Stream of Consciousness, rough and ready, from an award-winning filmmaker and author you’ve never heard of, while walking off long Covid, and listening to podcasts…walking day 5/25/2024

Weather for the day… starting out, 59° cloudy

Podcast WTF? Marc Maron Episode 1541 - Steph Tolev.

Then

Pod Save America episode Trump Heads to Tribal Council

So I mentioned my last few walkabout thoughts that my chest would be uncomfortable or kinda ache until I got through my 1st mile. Last walk was 5 miles and it lasted through my first half mile. Today I noticed about at the quarter-mile mark or just a bit longer, I started feeling better. So I’m assuming progress, and assuming it’s happening at all because I’m so sedentary much of the time and it shows when I go for walks. Which is why I desperately so much need to go for walks. I mean my job for decades had been sitting in a chair writing, or programming or administrating servers or whatever. 

When I was a parachute rigger in USAF in the late 70s, it was an extremely physically demanding job and I knew I was in the best shape of my life. Hardly any fat on my body, which had something to do with my wife’s vegetarian cooking. But considering the problems my older brother had as a construction worker and since being on painkillers most of his life now, I didn’t want a job where I had to depend on my body's physicality, and rather a job using my mind. 

When I graduated Western Washington University, I knew for a fact my mind was as sharp as it could be, like when I got out of the out of service I was in my best (perhaps lifelong) physical shape I could be in. I remember back then after I got out of the service, I was running and came upon a 6-foot-high fence. I lept over it. I literally, placed two of my fingers touching the top of the fence for spatial reference and just jumped up and flew over it. I was surprised at how easy that was.

It cracks me up when I watch police procedurals on TV and how much trouble they have getting over even a shorter fence. Especially when chasing a parkour-type athlete, which is an unfair comparison. 

Anyway, in my professional career as an adult, I was always worried about not getting enough exercise, but knowing my job was keeping my mind sharp, as a concern for me going into old age to always be keeping my mind sharp. My grandmother's mind was sharp till she died. My mom, not so much, and that worried me. But then, I'm not addicted to painkillers.

I did read somewhere years ago that getting a lot of exercise a child and in your early adulthood carries a lot of weight towards your health being better in later life and as you become elderly. So I try to consider that as my body continues to deteriorate... COVID-19 not withstanding.

We do it we can

Marc on the podcast has a good point in talking to a woman, who performs as Marc would put it, "dirty filthy comedy". He believes we don’t hear this from guys anymore because they’ll get canceled or as he put it, "they’ll catch a lot of flak." And that situation has been freed up for women to fill that vacuum because they can still get away with it. And Steph agreed with him.

Interesting podcast episode on the dichotomy between men and women as far as bodily functions and sex and things. Specifically, at this moment...flatulence. I’ve never been much into crude humor and fart jokes. It seems to me if you have to fart and you make a big deal out of it, that’s your emotional issue and you’re just pushing it on me or others. 

If you have to do it just do it. Shut up about it. Try to make it innocuous. If you know that it’s going to smell bad, just fucking leave the room. I wouldn’t ask that of anyone men or women if I didn’t feel that way or wouldn't do that myself. It’s just polite, common decency. Like guys who think it's funny to hit another guy in the testicles. I just don't see humor in it and haven't since grade school. Yes, comedy is pain + time. But that doesn't mean YOU have to cause the pain for humor to happen.

If you think it’s funny and know it’s going to reek and you let one rip in an enclosed space like an elevator. You’re just an asshole then and your comedy is immature... grow up. Use your brain, think of something a little more clever. Try. Expend a moment's though. Attempt something more than almost nothing for humor.

Now, if it happens and you didn’t expect it and you then make light of it, well, that’s different.

I don’t think it's base humor is overall funny, because it IS just simple humor. Granted, some childish humor can be truly hilarious. But you know, read the room.

Steph's saying she got "shadow-banned" on TikTok and it’s kind of quiet on there now for her. I suspect she's losing money there. How do you know if you're "shadow-banned"? I do think I had a lot bigger reach before Elon took over Twitter and fucked with it. And though I assume some has to do with bots, I know a bunch of it wasn’t. So thanks for that Elon. 

Though I was real supportive of Elon's technology tweets, not so much of his bullshit, insane Nazi OpEd tweets and since my responses to those, things haven’t been as free-flowing there as before.

Steph just said that 5% of her "merch"(andise) sales is on TikTok and all the rest is on Instagram. Well, that’s interesting…

Then she said it's best to do Instagram "Reels" with a sweet spot between 30 to 40 seconds on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, at 9AM PT for her posts anyway. One can view one's stats to see what catches when. Then she said to use the caption app NOT internally supplied Instagram one.

Apparently, she did a sketch with the blue man group and put that up. Seems one of the guys in the group went to college with her.  Not original group but joined a bit later on and has been with them over 20 years now.

Steph about a week she had: “Yay! I’m the fucking greatest comedian Tacoma has ever seen until Oklahoma where there’s six people and I SUCK.!"

I mentioned that quote because I was born in Tacoma in 1955. In 1958 we moved to Spain. Then Philadelphia to be around our larger family. 1960 back to... Tacoma. Because that time before moving back was so rich and exciting, I hated Tacoma growing up. I don’t remember any comedy clubs in Tacoma while now there’s a whole bunch of them. Tacoma‘s gotten much nicer, and prettier. My older brother once said, "Tacoma is a place you spend the rest of your life trying to get away from and keep moving back to." So I did that a couple times and when I got the chance, I moved to Seattle in 1985. And never looked back.

Stephe has a good point at this point in the podcast: "If you’re gonna come to see me, to see a commedian and you don’t know them? Google the fucking headliner." Maron has talked before about people coming to see him, who didn’t like him but they should have known better who he is and what his comedy is about as it definitely is a specific or acquired taste. 

If you want to enjoy a comedy show night out, know your comic.

Which reminds me about how one uses a movie reviewer. You get to know one. Really doesn’t matter which one, but it’s best to prefer them. The important thing is that they are consistent. That way if they like or dislike a movie, you will know if you will dislike or like the movie. It's how reviewers work.

So she has a podcast called Steph Infection. Something about having a lot of ailments. And that really sucks. I’ve been really damn healthy all my life. So anything that’s going on as I get older now, was really pretty unexpected.

So Steph invited Marc to her podcast. He said sure because of his issues with weight and body dysmorphia in having been raised by an anorexic (his mom). She said it’s guest-driven and he asked if she has a lot of comics on. She said no, she has some on but mostly porn stars because they have some of the greatest stories.

Marc says he’ll hook her up with comedian Sovereign Syre because she used to do adult films and now has a couple podcasts.

Finishing my 4th mile. It’s not supposed to rain, but some really dark clouds are moving in in the winds getting a little chilly.

Marc’s talking about the anxiety of dying, fear of it. I don’t have that. I’ve done enough crazy shit in my life that I learned a long time ago just to ignore it. You know every once in a while, it hits you. But when I think about especially health issues these past few years, for Covid… and dying, whatever. 

I don’t want to die. I have things I wanna do. I have plenty of things I thought would be done by now but that didn’t work out so well. But I’ve always been very capable of accepting death. "Oh I’m gonna die now? OK. Let’s get it over with." I mean, I will work hard not to. I had trouble with it as a kid, but in the end...if it’s inevitable, I’m not gonna freak out about it.

Marc‘s talking about when he was a young kid and his parents were going on vacation, he'd freak out that they would die and ended up calling them even though they said to only call for an emergency. Stephe jokes I will paraphrase her: "So mom's looking to have sex and the kid's calling..."

Which reminds me, after I graduated high school my mom took the family to Ocean Shores. I think we had one one room. My little brother and I were in a bed and few feet away were our parents. My mom and stepdad in their bed and I suspect my cousin and my sister were scattered around the room sleeping. I woke about 2 AM because I heard something and realized it was coming from their bed. And then I realized with the direction of the sound and the types of sounds, there was cunnilingus going on. Let’s say I had a visceral reaction. Even at seventeen. This was the weekend the McQ production arrived...AFTER I left. I was crushed. I'd seen the marquee saying "Welcome McQ", but had no idea what that meant until later. Mom even got to dance with John Wayne.

This reminds me of the time my mom showed my brother something when I was in maybe seventh grade. They were in her bedroom next to mine and then she closed the door. I heard them laugh. So the next time everybody was out in the house, I went through her dresser until I found the yellow manila envelope and pulled out the 8 x 10 glossy black and white print of a nude woman on a beach (I realized later it was in Spain). Her arms crossed, stretched her head and a guitar resting sand, it's head in her crotch to be discreet. 

My first thought was Cool, "attractive naked woman." My second thought was, "Wait! That’s mom!" My third thought was, "Oh damn! Oh my God! That’s, that's MOM!" I put it away as fast as I could. Scrubbed my mind of it. Sadly, I can still see a perfect image of that photograph in my mind. The scrubbing failed. Sigh. 

Those things about your parents that are just adult things that you really never needed to know about as a kid. 

There had been a massive fight between my parents in Spain when my dad tried to strangle my mom... again apparently. I always wondered if it was over that photograph. Did she do that for him. Or did she felt free to do that after he was kicked out of the country... by my grandfather who got him the job there. My younger mother was very good-looking.

One time, my youngest child's mother, who was very good-looking, offered to go to a professional photographer to get some sexy photos taken for me. It kind of panicked me. I said, no thank you for the offer, but no thanks. I don’t know if I ever explained to her why I had that reaction or if I even realized that at the time. But I can understand my dad, who was kind of a jealous guy (according to my mom), not reacting well to that kind of thing, in the 1950s, in Spain.

Then there was a story of him bending my mother backwards over the sink, strangling her, at his mom’s house when she had said something to him that he didn’t like. My mom said she just said something like "damn", or "hell", or something fairly innocuous and he reacted poorly. Until grandma, his mother, was beating on him from behind telling him to knock it off, to get off her. And she just wasn’t that type. The kind of short overweight grandma who cooks cookies and works in the garden. Loved her.

I just switched over to Pod Save America because Marc’s podcast ended. 

First up they’re talking about Nikki Haley. And her flip-flopping for Trump. All my life I had respect for both parties. I was raised in a Democrat/Union family. But I've been an independent most of my life. I voted in every election as far as I can remember, I do think I missed a few though. For some reason, I voted for Ronald Reagan in 1980. Probably because I grew up watching him on TV as an actor and on what was it? Death Valley Days as the host?

I didn’t vote for Reason a second time. He became too problematic and there were protests at university over his contra/Iran actions. He was the last Republican I voted for. No wait. I voted for his VPOTUS Bush because I thought it might be good to have somebody from the CIA elected who actually knew what the fuck was actually going on. 

Because I was very into intelligence and espionage since I got out of high school. My first political leanings started in 10th grade when "The Troubles" were happening in Ireland around the time I came to realize I was half Irish, as my dad’s family was Irish. My mom was Czechoslovakian. Whatever the hell that means nowadays.  I was raised old-school Slovak Catholic. While Dad's family wasn't. Lutheran or something. More Protestant anyway than Catholic. No big deal unless you're dealing with Irish issues.

I still had respect for Republicans in the 90s. But having studied Soviet espionage and tactics for decades, I started to notice how Republicans were using those tactics of disinformation, and that freaked me out. I told people about this back then and they thought I was nuts. 

We know now I was right. 100%.

Bugs me about Republicans, conservatives and MAGA saying stupid shit to me like "you have TDS", or "you’re just a Trump hater", or "you’re a liar because you don’t like conservatives." That’s all such bullshit. I've never been just partisan. I always voted for the best person, Republican or Democrat or Independent. I didn’t give a shit as long as they had the credentials to do a good job and sounded like a decent person.

But Donald Trump is NOT a fucking decent person and I came to recognize that we had a disintegrating Republican party, not through politics or partisanship. but facts and recognition of an American political party abusing us using our enemy's underhanded tactics against Our Own Country. That was a shock. That and my growing ever more correct... until 2016.

What is happening now is simply insanity.

Finishing up my 5th mile now and I'm feeling great. I’ve always loved getting exercise. I wish I could get back into lifting weights, maybe I'll get around to it again. It’s just that anymore, if I’m not really careful I pull a muscle. Something my doctor recently told me that at my age now of 68, it's just where I’m at in life now. Yay me.

I think AI is a great thing. I’ve been waiting for it all my life. But we’re at the caveman level. I should be able to tell it to generate a dissertation on the differences between what is being said by Republicans and Democrats and compare that to facts and reality, and let me know where the balance lies. Which side is better at this point in history to side with? If you ask the AI about that right now it’ll refuse. Maybe it’s just not capable. It’ll tell ya there's a lot of opinions involved. OK then give me a report not based on opinions as best you can. And that’s what I find sad about AI today.

With AI today you have to and you can, find ways around its built-in dysfunction. For instance, give it a list of 10 things that Republicans say are bad about Democrats or President Biden. Turn it around and do the same thing in reverse about Republicans. Feed it that and have it evaluate compared to the facts and then give you a report. It still won’t do it. But you’ll get further. And if you hold to that, you can actually get it to respond with something useful. At least something you can write something from. AI is useful. It could just be a lot more useful but in some cases, it simply refuses to do it. When it perfectly well could.

On that note, I’ll bid you adieu…

And I’ll leave you with that. It’s noon and time for lunch.

As always, I wish you all, all the greatest success and good health!
Just put in the time and effort for those successes.
Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #76

Thoughts & Stream of Consciousness, rough and ready, from an award-winning filmmaker and author you’ve never heard of, while walking off long Covid, and listening to podcasts…walk day 5/17/2024 [After a covid shot this morning, the next day was rough, so it took a few days to get this up online, apologies...]

Weather for the day… starting out, 58° nice sunny day starting out, 63° when I got home

Podcast Hacks Ep. 5: “One Day” with Adam Bricker

and then, Pod Save America Trump Trial: "Jail Is on the Table" (here's hoping)

Damn, I just got my spell checker working again here. I hadn't noticed it was broken. Cheers!

Update from 5/19/2024:

BREAKING NEWS: This has now been confirmed. Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi (AKA "Butcher of Tehran") and others have been found dead at the site of the helicopter crash on the border of Iran on Sunday. This is sad but some are celebrating Pres. Raisi's demise and could lead to progress if only someone like Hassan Rouhani could replace both him and Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, moving Iran into their future, rather than remaining toxically tied to theocratic ridiculousness. There's hope Rouhani could move into the future.

Moving on and back to our regularly schedule program...

I've never seen such a time
when so many
think they know so much
about so little & yet
are utterly clueless
about just how wrong they are
about so very much.

- from Quotes Along the Murdock VII

America was based upon a concept of a free people who can govern themselves guided by common sense & belief in a Greater Good. Sadly, Republicans today decided to forego common sense AND that greater good for their minor one, through which they will force govern all by, their few. This is not liberal democracy, or a republic. It is autocracy enforced by self-desire.

- from Quotes Along the Murdock VII

Democracy is good for everyone, if you keep capitalism under control from becoming toxic. While fascism is good only for the Fascists, until they finally get around to eating their own.

- from Quotes Along the Murdock VII

Any "Great Stupid" remains dangerous until it stops moving.

Just listening to them talk on Hacks podcast about the shows protagonist losing parents too young. I was four years old when we had moved to Spain from 1958 Tacoma and suddenly one day... my dad was gone, kicked out of the country by my grandfather who had gotten him the job over there in the first place in Franco Spain. We were in Roda, Spain. 

I was just thinking about this yesterday, writing it up for my autobiography. I thought I might write the section backwards, starting with my step-dad after moving back to Tacoma in 1960. Backing up to Philadelphia the year previous and asking my mom where dad was and when is he coming home? How she progressed from the first time I asked that before we had moved back from Spain. Where's dad? "He went home ahead of us." Upon arriving back in the States, where's dad. "He'll be here soon." Then, where's dad? "He's not coming home again." I was four. Then five, when I realized Dad was somehow gone? Could Mom be gone? Then the step-dad arrived and I did not like him. It was a downgrade. What if dad can be gone, then mom can be gone. Will I be stuck with this guy, then? Fear.

It might not have been so bad, as it goes, if the new stepdad we’re "better than", or if I had liked him more than my dad. I remember little about my dad before he left. I remember mostly, after. After we had moved back to Tacoma and he took me out a few times. I remember very clearly when I was like five or six. I remember he took me in his brother's boat and let me, ME, drive it, at five years old. We left the dock at Point Defiance Park, and went over to Vashon Island.
 

I remember playing in the shallow water on that beach. I remember on my sixth birthday, dad taking me out to the "B&I Circus Store" on South Tacoma Way. Took me to the toy section and said get whatever you want. And I went for it. A store famous for "Ivan" the gorilla. A movie, "The One And Only", was made about it, with Bryan Cranston.

I had my arms full of toys that day at the B&I. Finally, Dad squatted down and looked at all the stuff I had, likely thinking there wasn’t enough in his wallet. He was a construction electrician. But divorce can be costly. So he picked one of those toys and said, “OK. You can have this one, or you can have all of those you’re holding.“

That was a miserable choice. But I chose the one. A plastic replica of a Winchester rifle with a speaker in the side butt. When you pulled the trigger, it made a weird "shooting sound". A "Sound of Power". I thought even then it was a corny sound, but in 1960 you made due. And that was my birthday present. My second gun. My first gun having been t wooden army rifle, which they mass-produced after World War II.

There’s a big story about that one. I was wearing a navy sailor suit when we traveled to Spain. Mom had my older brother and later my younger brother and our sister all in cute little Navy suits for photo portraits that hung on our family home wall all the years of our growing up. Guess she had a thing for Navy guys. Though my dad was Coast Guard, saw action and had a Purple Heart medal.

We had taken the train from Tacoma, to either New York for the flight, or more likely to Philadelphia where our larger family lived. When we took the TWA plane from Idlewild Airport to Madrid, there were all these lockers where you could lock your stuff up until your flight. I thought it would be cool to stick my rifle in there. So when they called our flight over the public address system, Mom said, "OK, let’s go." I told her I couldn't. I had to find my gun! I was in a panic.

She looked at the hundreds of lockers and realizing we could miss our plane, probably wanted to kill me. All of my life since, I remembered crying and her dragging me to the plane, I’d lost that rifle and regretted and resented it ever since. Until a few years ago when I was looking at photos and our photo of us exiting that plane in Madrid, Spain back when still walked down portable stairs, brought up to the airplane on the tarmac plane parking...and there in the photo, as I was walking down those stairs with my mom and sister, is my rifle. That really blew my mind.

About that Navy suit and Army rifle. There’s a notorious photo of me on the tarmac at Idlewild Airport taken by TWA professional photographer, Ken Fletcher, Public Relations. He asked if he could take the picture. My mom just kind of looked at him. He said, "Mam, you got a cute little boy wearing a sailor suit, carrying an Army rifle. This is priceless. I have to take this picture. And I promise I will send you a copy of it. So she said, OK. And so he did send us a copy and I have it. 

On back of  the 8"x10", it says:

"For Worldwide immediate release: Idlewild Airport, N.Y., Sept. 17 (1958): Mixed-up sailor, 3, carrying an army rifle stands guard before boarding his TWA Jestrream flight to Madrid, Spain. The Tacoma, Washington, youngster will be joining his dad, a construction engineer, for an approximate three year stay. Photo by Aviation News Pictures, New York International Airport. Ken Fletcher, Public Relations, 380 Madison Ave., New York City, Oxford 5-4525 Ext. 701"

So I don’t know… but I like to think that 1958 my photo did go around the world for advertising for TWA Airlines. And we loved, Trans World Airlines.

So I’m retired, on a fixed income. Though I’m still trying to produce things to make money. I won’t go into that here, now. I’m living off of retirement from the company I retired from and my Social Security. So, fixed income. But I’m doing OK. I'd hoped to be doing better but then considering how I started out in life, I couldn't be more pleased how well I've done.

Like many, I too go through this round-robin of streaming services and cable TV that a lot of people do. I pay way too much for my Comcast cable and Internet and I also have my cell phone through them. After many years of Verizon since I first got a cell phone, I got tired of paying almost 80 bucks a month, when it went to free with Comcast. So I switched. I get their cable package plus some streamers. I get Max for free. I get Peacock for free. But it's pricey. I go around with Hulu, Apple+ (which I’ve been keeping steadily for some reason). I do like Paramount+. But like for this month, I got Netflix. I watched everything I could & was interested in. Saw some good stuff. Then I let it expire at the end of 1 month. Then I start up another one, this time probably Paramount+ for a month. Or I'll skip a month or so trying to keep the already staggering overall price down.

I had Hulu and actually kept it for a couple of months longer, maybe three even. The last thing I watched was "Shogun". I have the original on DVD with Richard Chamberlain. But my end of Hulu month hit too soon and I didn’t get to see the last episode of Shogun. Bummer. So how can I watch it for free? Or do I just buy another month? I could. I have the money. But try to keep costs down, or they can get out of control after a while, especially if you don't keep an eye on it. 

I go through that with Amazon Prime on buying movies. I watch what I can for free but allow myself a movie purchase on holidays. Otherwise, you realize you've spent $100 or $200 with no idea how you got so out of control. I told that to producer Robert Mitas whom I was working with a few years ago. He's a producer with Michael Douglas. We were working on my true crime screenplay, "The Teenage Bodyguard". 

He'd said something about watching some film he thought I should see, and I offhandedly explained how I try to keep costs down by not purchasing movies without attempting to keep the numbers I watch low. He chuckled, obviously unaware of not having a lot of money. It was a bit uncomfortable because we both realized that from opposite ends of the financial spectrum. He might have been talking about his produced film, "We Have Always Lived in the Castle" (2018). I highly recommend it. I ended up watching it and it was a fun film. It's from a Shirley Jackson story (she wrote, "The Lottery"). Michale Douglas was also a producer on that film.

Shogun...I see they renewed it for two more seasons, or as they say in the UK, two more "series". So I think maybe I’ll just wait for the next season two and watch the last episode of season one that I missed when Hulu month ended too soon. In the past, I have watched the last episode of a new season arriving, just to get back up to where I should be for that season. So maybe I stumbled upon something that will be kind of useful and most cost-effective.

Well, I got in an art podcast today with the Hacks podcast, but it was short. So I switched over to "Pod Save America" now. I already listened to the last WTF? With Marc Maron. Have to wait till next week maybe for a new one of those. I feel like I did when I discovered Jon Stewart on The Daily Show after years of him being on. "Why didn't I find him sooner?"! I liked Jon when he was a VJ on MTV in the 80s.

So it looks like Biden and Trump will have two debates with no audience. Thank God, so it’s not just another Trump circus. Hopefully, they’ll turn off the other’s mic when one is talking. Trump has had his circus long enough on debates. Time to get back to adults debating and following debate rules, not Trump bullshit disinformation and distraction (lack of) rules.

I’ll just say this: fuck Trump and any who still support or follow him, who are too lazy to go out and double check how DIS-directed they are. They would throw that back in my face no doubt to say YOU check YOUR information because WE are right. Sorry, but I did that years ago. The first thing you ever do is go out trying to prove your beliefs or information are wrong and if you can't, maybe you're correct. THATS professional researching. I’d been a professional researcher as a senior tech writer for years. You cannot turn in a white paper on something there to management and be found out it's all nonsense. I would’ve been out of work ASAP. And yet I survived in that career for some time. The respect I received in that career was beyond any other career I've had. I wonder sometimes if it was a mistake leaving it to delve deeper into computer mechanics, systems, and processes?

So MAGA...on your information. If you were right about the insane things you believe in then I would be agreeing with you And since I’m not, sorry. You're wrong. Sounds like I'm full of myself, but when you've done the work, the research, the vetting, you earned it. Unlike those who faultily "do their own research" and come away unduly full of themselves and thus, disinform ever more easily distractable and delusional people. Something our enemies, and Trump, and the GOP depend on anymore. Sad, but true. Proven to be true, over and over and over again.

Fox News is losing their shit over this debate thing saying that Biden is slinking away from the debate by sending it to liberal news networks. Apparently, they never watched a debate with Trump in it. It’s a fiasco. It’s not a debate at all. It’s a little bitch whiny... little bitch, interrupting adults. And trying to make it look like it's all a joke. And his people love that because he's their failed TV entertainer. It's not a joke. It's our lives, our country, our democracy, that they're trying so hard to end. Literally. 

When you hear conservatives talk about "we're not a democracy, we're a republic," that's a whistle call for what is now called MAGA Speak. Anti-democracy, for the purpose as we've now see, of minority rule because conservatives know better what is best for America and Americans. It's just authoritarianism, pure and simple Simplistic binary thinking. Black & white, nothing is grey. You're good or bad. You're with them or an enemy. "IN God We Trust"! Division, separation, partisanship. Friend or foe. 

Which is all bullshit. We're a very blended citizenry, unlike most nations. We support immigration. Not divisively pick it apart and make trouble over non issues, inflating issues, acting like bigots, etc. The immigration system was purposely broken for purposes of division NOT what they profess today.

E Pluribus Unum. Out of many, ONE. THAT is America and THAT is what we need to get back to. This has been a decades-long slow moving coup. And it's finally, here. Republicans are not our enemies but have put themselves in that slot. Some are trying to get that party back finally seeing the dangers they have wrought in trying to regain control. Neither party NEEDS control. We need to work together. Compromise. Taking the other's side, when they are correct. Not refusing to work together because you're not winning. THAT is either idiocy or working for our enemies, saving them money, time and effort.

I guess there will be a vice-presidential debate and that ought to be delicious. I have an odd feeling that VP Harris will shred any MAGALoon Trump picks for his ridiculous VP.

According to Hannity on Fox News, Biden challenging Trump to debate is him avoiding a debate. Good to know? I tell you, these people are fully in some other universe where nothing functions.

The rule I would like to see for the Biden-Trump debate would be both of them in glass cages, and when the other one's talking, no matter what the one does, the one who’s screaming and disrupting would be Donald Trump… You would see his mouth moving and that’s it. I would even suggest CGI to block out his mouth so you can’t see what he saying to lip-read. All we should be asking for is to give each guy a chance to speak and only then let the other one talk and without interruption. It’s always been that way. And if people don’t like it, don’t watch the debate. Because if you’re looking for entertainment, you're just into Trump. If you’re looking for a clown show, that’s where it is.

One has to remember a couple of things about Trump and his GOP and the whole maggot mindset. No, no... I said MAGA mindset and voice-to-text translated that as "maggot". You may know I don’t play that game. Those are American citizens. I do think they are loony, so I do call them. "MAGALoons" because they are NOT based in reality. But that's a joke. It’s satire… You’ve heard of "Looney bin"? An ugly term from the past referring to people with mental issues. However, after a university degree in psychology, I learned that we don’t call the people you take care of in that field “Patients" but “clients “. Because "patient" indicates they're ill and you want their mindset to be that they are either healthy and healing from something, or they are becoming healthier in being your client.

Yes, you could argue under that paradigm that I shouldn’t even call them what I do. But I’m going from a lot of people who are trying to dehumanize American citizens as insects which has led other countries into genocide or a Civil War. Which the right keeps pushing for. And the left keeps seeing may be needed, but we don’t want to go there. So for now, "MAGALoon" it is. 

It’s actually meant in a softer satirical tone. Somebody acting Looney we can help. Somebody that’s a maggot needs to be excised from humanity. Let’s not go there in a country of diverse cultures. And again, let’s get rid of that stupid fucking theistic motto “In God we trust “because it’s led us to far too much of this crap and this devicive and this dividing us and looking down on others and Christian nationalism which the FBI is worried about regarding domestic terrorism. Which is just enhanced religious bigotry. 

Back to "E pluribus unum" or “out of many, one.“ Back to a cohesive country, or at least trying to be one.

We need to all come together to try to stand in the same basic reality and see where we’re all going wrong, together. Enough standing apart, hating.

I constantly try to see the other side and can modify my view closer towards them, IF I see they have a valid point. A point-based in reality, obviously. Where so often now it is simply not based in reality.

But I don’t see that on the other side. I see their religious based beliefs and dogma. This is what they wish to force reality to fit with and: "I will kill you if you get in the way of that."

Yeah. Let’s not do that.

So I caught Covid for the third time last month. Feeling pretty good now after they put me on Paxlovid on the second day. Which I think helped me with my long Covid. About two weeks after I caught Covid the last time, the VA sent out an email telling everyone they should get a Covid booster now. Damn, weeks too late, guys.

So I went and got a shot yesterday at Safeway. They said the VA would pay for it, but so would Medicare, so they went through that (or Aetna, I’m not sure). It was a Moderna shot. I’ve only had one of those and my arm hurt the next day and I didn’t feel good for a couple days. But maybe because I still have some Covid immunity from actually having caught this version, my arms a little sore today, but I’m out walking and I feel pretty good. So far.

Long Covid has this nasty habit of triggering dormant viruses in victims. I’ve been suffering that since March 2022. The end of last December, as I detailed before I went through a nightmare involving that, has gone on now for months. I’ve had a bunch of tests since December and I’ve been sent to a new doctor to get things checked out. A specialist because my primary care physician isn't sure what the hell is going on at this point. But now all of a sudden, it’s like I’m healing from that, too. And I don’t know if that was part of the Paxlovid but seems like it.

I know last year I read that a study gave an infusion of Paxlovid in one shot to help with long Covid suffers and their long Covid went away for somewhere around six weeks. If you’re a long Covid sufferer, especially if you have it bad, that’s a Godsend, even with only a few weeks off. Which might even help you in the long run with the condition.

I just realized I’ve been previously saying lately it was two weeks for long Covid alleviation, after a Paxlovid infusion treatment, but it was six weeks. Because I just noticed my calendar says next week my six weeks are up. Which means my long Covid could return. Here’s hoping not!

Starting mile three.

I just thought of another debate format Biden could pull against Trump. Things go the way Trump does it. You know it’s like an adult debating with a child who doesn’t have answers and just throws a little tiffs and fits. So when Trump interrupts, just lean back at your podium and let him go and at some point ask something like, "Are you done with your little tantrum? Can I talk now?" 

And just keep it that way, exhibiting what a fool and immature brat Trump is. Fllod the news, esp., where MAGA would see it, to prep them for what Trump will pull. His anti-debate tactics have to be neutralized. The thing is, MAGA needs to really see who he is. They praise and worship and support and follow that clown and Biden needs to have stored up like 30 or 40 little debate-deflating knife piercings for Trump who can throw Trump’s bullshit back in his face during the debate. Things that would either shut Trump up, or down, to show HIS audience that they really should be embarrassed.

That would allow the old concept of free speech, where we allow bad and evil speech out there and those people who support it, TO talk. But we need people smart enough to counter them, to debunk and deflate their premises. I do believe Biden is a lot smarter than Trump. But the problem is that kind of debating idiots and disruptors,  takes a very kind of special debating skill. Trump doesn’t have good debating skills. Trump has pontificating and obfuscating and distraction skills. 

Trump is basically a five-year-old, who at that age, most kids also have those skills. Apparently, Trump locked into those emotionally, but never matured into an adult. Something you get from alcoholics, drug abusers, and the pathological narcissistic sociopath in a career criminal such as Donald Trump. The image above is one that I shared online the other day of a brain scan of a person with Trump's pathological condition. 

"Pod Save America" has a good point here about those debates. If Biden makes the mistake again of saying another country for some country he’s referring to, huge five-alarm sirens go off with the conservatives and maybe everybody. But if Trump says "gravity isn’t real" people just laugh and say "Ha ha there goes Trump again". There’s a sad double standard that’s dangerous to this country. And to democracy at large. Because people around the world, watch America closely.

Damn, I think I just walked by JD Vance’s parent's house…

Trump went to Wildwood, New Jersey the other day and said some weird shit. I got roughed up by a cop there when I was 16, on the boardwalk, and for absolutely nothing. Anyway, people need to see these debates because they need to see what a fool Donald Trump really is. But for that to work, they need to be primed and ready. As I mentioned above.

They need to put our promos detailing what to watch for from Trump in the debate. Use a viral orientation with humor or something. In such a way that makes it obvious when you see Trump actually do it on stage in the debate, that it takes you aback. A shock a little bit so that you go, "Oh fuck I’m supporting THIS guy? I used to think this guy was funny. Maybe this isn’t funny. Maybe it’s not funny anymore as Nikki Haley said she believed he was the right guy for POTUS45. Though she was 100% wrong. Where now she says he’s not that guy anymore at all. And he’s not." 

Sitting through this criminal trial is ripping up Trump's personality and ego from the inside out. He may go forward-looking the same to some, but he’ll never be the same again after this. When he’s convicted, well… there it is.

I hear the podcast, that Biden isn’t making a mistake in attending the debate because it’s a "high variance maneuver". It may be time for high risk action. I learned this when I was a child… when there’s something you’re fighting off, or fearful of, or in a situation that is existentially dangerous, you need to hit it head on. Hit it as hard and as fast as you can. DEAL with it. And you know what? That has worked for me really, really well. It takes your opponent off their equilibrium and disorients. That's what Trump is so good at. Disrupting, and disabling people's decency, and their expectation of normal behavior. 

I think honesty and openness are healthy for humanity. So I’ll admit this. I can count on one hand the times I let fear overtake my better judgment. Not my better angels. When I was at risk, I may have shied away. It didn't happen often, as I was trained for that very young. But when others were at risk, I didn’t shy away. I don’t know. I go to stupid protection mode, maybe because of my childhood nuclear family dynamic. But I’ll say about those times... I can count them on one hand… those failings when I wish I had acted better. We are all weak or strong at times. IF the wrong situation hits in those moments, we can find we have exceeded or failed, for those moments. 

So "heroes" can be seen as cowards, and vice versa. That is part and parcel of being human. Some act correctly, heroically, always. But they are honestly few and far between. Most people react out of self presevation. Training increases the odds of acting above the norm in extraordinary situations. 

Had my orientation been different? I probably wouldn’t be able to count all those sad moments, as being limited only to one hand, out of my 68 years at this point. Personally, I think that’s a pretty damn good record.

This was fun. I had a salesman call from Armed Forces Vacation Club yesterday. He asked me some questions and I answered and he thought it was odd. I could tell. I told him I’m 68. I could tell it wasn’t a salesman tactic, but he was taken aback by that. He said, "Wow you don’t sound 68 to me." I thought he meant the texture of my voice. But I shared that with my son later and he laughed and said, "Well, look at the conversations we have about physics and different things. You don’t have an addled brain at all." I had to laugh at that. But, good to know.

As for mentioning my condition and health status at times, this is a blog about walking off long Covid. I mention my condition, symptoms, and issues from time to time for the same reason I wrote a book on long covid. So if anyone reads this who has long Covid and reads some of the things I’m going through, it may aid them in some way, or emotionally give them some kind of benefit. Or relief. Or warning. Forewarning, hopefully.

And on that note, I’ll say that because it was winter and I wasn’t getting exercise I wasn’t feeling well. I’ve had to use melatonin to get to sleep and stay asleep. I use 5 mg tablets and break them in half. I don’t think I got enough exercise and sun, which is important for the production of the melatonin hormone. But I try to take it as little as I can. You have to understand that anytime you take something into your system it alters it. The view that eating is medicinal isn’t a bad way of looking at things. So if you take in melatonin regularly and then stop, your body isn’t going to immediately produce enough.

As far as Trump claiming Biden took drugs whenever he seems animated or at every debate that he’s on something? Fine. Give both them a blood test before the debate. Both of them! Better, as I'd said before, surprise them. See if Trump doesn't mumble as he runs from the studio.

Well, I was gonna try for 5 miles today as I shot for the last time, but only made 4 miles. But I hadn't gotten a Covid shot then and now I’m a little concerned. I might be overdoing it. That’s what the consideration was in walking at all today, as it might be overdoing it. So long Covid and vaccinations and such, it's best to err on the side of caution as much as you may want to push on through. It's normal for me to push on through, but with Covid and long covid, it could kill you. Though I think I may be beyond that point now, it can lead to being unnecessarily uncomfortable for a day or two.

So today it’s 3 miles.

I know my mom was pretty emotional when I was growing up and I know she had some interesting emotional or mental issues. Though I know she was smart as a whip, but also only made it to to ninth grade. I always said that I’ve followed my heart guided by my mind. Though I have come to wonder, although my life wasn’t that bad, that maybe I should’ve reversed that. I know those who did that but I wouldn’t want to have lived their life.

It could just be that they tended to push things too far on top of it. Maybe I wouldn’t have. I don’t know. I do know I was a little sociopath when I was a kid as most children are. I think most of us grow into our higher emotional levels. Or EQ. Something that Trump is very low in. My mother had some pretty strict rules within an environment that was rather loose, even for those times. I think that helps to get you into your teens and 20s to a time when you evolve more and lose that sociopathy. Hopefully. Although some of us never do. 

Once again...Donald Trump.

I will add about that "little sociopath" thing. I jest some. But it's also true. I didn't have a deep emotional base as a kid, but then I did. Mostly about animals. I think I had the basis for emotions. I was emotional about some things. Very protective of my family. I was teased about it as a teen. I wasn't emotional about movies, even when a nearby female typically was crying from a film. So I used films in my mid to late 20s to grow emotions. Once in college studying psychology, I worked to grow emotions and I used films to aid that. As a touchstone. Until finally I did feel things without trying when watching a film. 

It's well known we become more emotional as we age. In old age, we can become quite emotional. It's why we do not send older people to war, but the youngest available. They lend themselves more so to the blood lust of battle. I'm now at a point where it's almost too much. An advert can even get me emotional now. As my younger self laughs... 

And on that note, I’ll bid you adieu…

And leave you with that. And it’s noon now and time for lunch.

As always, I wish you all, all the greatest success and good health!

Just put in the time and effort for those successes.  
Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!

Ireland Trip 2015 and Vacations

My birthday was August 30th and it's a banner year for me so I thought I should do something special. When I was four, we moved to Spain from Tacoma, Washington. Things didn't go well for us and my grandfather, my mom's dad, threw my dad out of the country. Long story end of marriage.

We ended up moving to Philadelphia to live with and around family. Grandpa had moved his family to Tacoma back in the 40s from Brooklyn. Mom picked up a new husband in Philly whom I never liked.

One day when she broke the news to us that she was going to marry him, we would have a new dad. I was still wondering what happened to the old dad and I don't know what my slightly older sister was thinking. Our mom was putting a happy spin on this marriage but at five years of age I begged her not to marry him. Something that proved to be prescient in time and she would grow to agree with. I had seen a side to him she hadn't yet seen although of her four husbands, he ended up lasting the longest. They remained married even after they mostly and permanently separated about thirteen years ago.

Suddenly we had a new baby and along with my older sister and new dad we moved back to the dreaded Tacoma with these new parts of the family. I wasn't happy. I had lost my dad, got a new one I didn't like, and a baby who was sucking up all the attention that used to be mine.

It wasn't long before my apprehensions about the new guy started to make themself clear. Still after having married my older brother's dad (who lived with his dad after a contentious divorce) and divorced him, then my older sister's dad and divorcing him, then my dad, then the new guy (in 1960), whom she divorced briefly for a year then remarried not once more but several times throughout their stormy relationship until he died about a year ago.

Mom always loved Liz and Richard Burton. Dick and Liz, my parents were not though there were some similarities.

In my lifetime I've been to Hawaii twice. First in 1978 with my first wife,  then again in 1988 with my second wife. In 1998 I mentioned going there to my third wife yet for some reason she would have nothing to do with it.

I grew up with my family visiting Canada a lot as Tacoma is so close to Vancouver, British Columbia, though mostly we took the ferry to Victoria, B.C. on Vancouver Island located in the Strait of Juan De Fuca.

Our Grandfather whom I mentioned before was my mother's father. He had traveled the world and after he retired would take the family on short day trips sometimes. We would take the ferry Princess Marguerite from Seattle to Victoria, and would get a cabin for the older folks to rest in. I have fond memories of those trips and visiting around Victoria and the world famous Empress Hotel which had hosted royalty and presidents.

In high school, I used to drive with friends up to Vancouver, BC to party. The pubs in Gas Town were the desired locations to try and get into even though I was around seventeen. I once got into the Gas Town Pub. My friend and I walked up to the counter and got very odd looks from the bartender. The guy on the door had stepped away and so we stepped in. I asked the bartender where the restroom was. He said that it's next door in the Gas Town Hotel.

I was incredulous but he convinced us it was true and I really had to go. So we went. When we got next door an old guy sitting at the desk was reading a paper. I said I needed to use their restroom and that the bartender had said they used theirs but he gave me a look similar to the bartender's and kicked us out. We went back to the pub but couldn't get back in. End of that party. However, we then discovered Third Beach at Stanley Park by just stopping people on the street and asking where the party was. But that's a story for another time and I suspect I've already told that story.

After I got married the last time we would travel sometimes because of her work training horses. Many interesting times back in the 1990s until we divorced in 2002.

Earlier this year my twenty-three year old daughter convinced me I should do something special for this birthday. My birthday is August 30th. My mother was born on that birthday of mine. I'd joked with her many times that God had planned for me, she was an accident. When in reality I think I was actually the accident.

My daughter had travelled Europe with a back pack several times. I along with her friend's parents had sent them for a high school graduation gift to Paris. I think she had got bitten by the travel bug. But then she had grown up with her mother and I travelling with her to horse shows for her mom's work. It was in her blood.

She backpacked with her accordion and hoola hoop, busking around Europe, making money to pay her way. She ended up in Iceland and loving it. Greece during the riots several years ago. Living in caves in Spain. But always returning to Iceland

When she first mentioned the Ireland trip, I was hesitant, but I wanted to go. See, I've been to Mexico a few times, Canada more times that I remember and Hawaii twice, all over the United States. But only one trip out of country and off the continent, to Spain as a child.

And that didn't go well for me at all. In fact when we were living in country the local cantina owner in Roda, Spain was always yelling, "Malo Nino!" (bad boy) at me for some reason. Reasons I'm sure I deserved. I'd deserved them in America, there was really no reason I would not deserve them in another country.

We have 8mm film of our life in Spain and later in Philadelphia. There is one of a banner of shamrocks hanging from our ceiling. My new dad was in that footage. The banner said "Erin Go Bragh!" Roughly, Ireland forever! He didn't much care for it. He always said he was English by ancestry and my dad was Irish. So you could see how it could be annoying to a new guy.

Now I'm getting to the Irish stuff.

So I grew up with that banner and the situation, always in the back of my mind. I would ask my mother about it growing up and she would just say that my dad's family was Irish. I was Irish. Though my mother's family was Czechoslovakian, I got tired of that part of my ancestry and the Irish side was just more flamboyant to me I'm sure.

In the late 1960s I heard a lot about the Irish "Troubles". By high school I started paying close attention to the news about Ireland. I was quite against what was going on there. People were dying. It seemed to me that England should mind its own business. If Ireland wanted them out, it should leave.

Of course there were other issues but the Protestant and Catholic ones were at the forefront. Reasonably many Loyalists wanted to remain a part of England, of the UK.