Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts

Saturday, June 22, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #87a

Thoughts & Stream of Consciousness, rough and ready...random but sane thoughts from an insane mind...from an award-winning filmmaker and author you’ve never heard of while walking off the feeble remains of long Covid, and listening to podcasts…walk day, Friday, June 21, 2024.

Weather for the day… nice day, starting out, 68° sun clear sky, 70° back at home. Walk day, Friday, June 21, 2024.

First Podcast Marc Maron WTF? finishing up Episode 1549 - Geezer Butler (Black Sabbath) from yesterday. Possibly my first hero band from when I was in 10th grade in 1970.

This is now the next day. I was craving sweets yesterday and got a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and overdosed on sugar, I guess. I had the worst sleep last night. My heart was beating too fast so I took some Benadryl and half a melatonin. Which I’ve been doing good on avoiding and have been sleeping better without it. The Benadryl didn’t seem to be working well which it almost always does for my blood pressure and heart rate which seems to be issues of histamines. So that didn't work and I realized I was slightly dehydrated so I drank some water and started feeling better.



All I've asked of people, esp., my kids, was to vote.
For the same reason as Heinlein's comment above to take a side.
The least a citizen can do is vote.
If you complain about our government but don't vote, you have no right to complain.
When you vote it should make you want to make an informed decision. 
That forces you to know what you believe, and to take a stand.
On SOMETHING.
That affects you.
It affects others.
It's important and to neutralize that by saying it doesn't work or do anything, is almost a non sequitur. 

The thing about health issues lately, especially with long Covid issues, is you cannot find cause and effect and that’s scary. I can handle just about anything if I can fathom the cause and effect, especially when I figure out how to alleviate the situation. 

I think that has a lot to do with conspiracy theories and in the paranormal, in what freaks people out. When you can’t find cause and effect, it’s pretty scary. I remember when I got those Conan books as a kid. That character in the books made it clear the only thing he was afraid of were ghosts and the paranormal. He was afraid of no man or monster. If it bleeds, you can kill it. If it doesn’t bleed, then what the fuck? And that’s scary even to Conan.

I thought I’d take the day off but here I am, walking my 3 miles and it’s already 68° and supposed to get up to like 86° today. I’m on my 1st mile at 8:35 AM and it’s already getting warm.

Marc says Metallica was a real Sabbath band in the way they thought about music and Geezer said yeah especially their Black album.

I can’t remember if I mentioned I that so far I've gotten to quarterfinalist in the Emerging Screenwriters contest for Suspense screenplays for my, "The Teenage Bodyguard". Cool.

Geezer said he did his solo stuff in the 1990s and he said GZR was the band. He said he just had to get some stuff out of him and he really enjoyed it, but he knew he wasn’t gonna make any money with it. I need to check that out. I think I knew about this but forgot about it. He said it was really heavy stuff and as far as his fans loving it, maybe not so much? And he laughed.

I iced my left knee when I got home yesterday and today it seems to be my right knee causing me grief. Good grief.

I’m very much enjoying the walk today. The sun beating down on me has me a little worried because I want to finish at least my 3 miles today. When I went to Ireland for my 60th birthday, with my youngest back in 2015, I don’t think I had walked that much in recent decades. I used to love backpacking and being out in nature. I loved walking through the oldness of Ireland.

It’s interesting how much I enjoyed connecting back in the 1970s and how old everything was when I was in Connecticutt. Our oldest cemeteries in the Pacific Northwest go back to like the 1800s. The East Coast obviously goes back much further. While Ireland goes back a hell of a lot further.

I remember talking to somebody from Ireland and hearing this a few times from different people in how they don’t appreciate their culture and history so much because they’re attracted to America and her newness and shininess. They're not so taken with the antiquity of a country like Ireland as they just see it as having grown up with old buildings that suck and they want the new. Well, the new to me is the old. I grew up with the new in America, especially in the PNW. So, I crave history?

Geezer is saying since he stopped "boozing" he finds it more difficult for inspiration since he used to sit in the studio and have wine or beer and that’s just what he’s used to. My thought is microdose mushrooms. I kid you not. You gotta do just enough that you feel it but the changes that make in your brain chemistry are better than what the booze did. And it may help you get off the booze.

Geezer said he had a nervous breakdown in 1999 and someone told him he was depressed. Maybe I was lucky that I think I had my nervous breakdown in 1972. I had a headache one day that was so bad I got taken to the emergency room. The doctors hit me with morphine but it didn’t stop the pain. So they said they would knock me out and gave me Demerol. I woke up in a hospital room much later.

After three days three neurosurgeons suggested I move out of my parent's house at 17, or figure out how to cope living there. Mom had told them what our life was like with my stepfather. They gave me a prescription to Valium and sent me on my way. Actually, that might’ve been in early '73. I stayed at home, having previously run off once from home months earlier. When mom dragged me back with threats of arresting the guy I was staying with who was an adult living in Bremerton, oddly enough.Since I live there now after a lifetime of never waning to live here. But, it's nice.

I remember graduating high school in May or June whenever it was you got out of school and then had graduation a few weeks later. it was at the UPS Fieldhouse in Tacoma. My sister gave me a sword she got in Hawaii as a flight attendant. Then when I graduated from university 11 years later, after the USAF, she gave me a pen and pencil set, and was embarrassed. But I said, "No it’s actually perfect because I’ve graduated to a higher purpose. You gave me a sword for high school graduation. Now consider the adage, "The pen is mightier than the sword." So as usual you gave the perfect gift. She looked at me a bit sideways and said, "Well, I’m glad you see it that way!" She always gave me great gifts growing up. I remember after she got her first job, the family wasn't doing well. It was the first Christmas I remember no toys. I was about 12. Mom said, "You're 12 now, too old for toys." Trying to make the best of a bad situation. I remember getting socks. Socks? Seriously? Then I got several gifts from my sister and they were a bunch of the much desired "Maj. Matt Mason" moon toys. I was beside myself that Christmas, especially after such a massive let down from our parents. 


After I moved out at 17 and rented an apartment in an old house from a really annoying old Jewish woman, my prescription for valium disappeared. Two weeks later it reappeared in my kitchen cupboard. I realized my landlady was going through my apartment when I wasn’t there.

Anyway, good to get your nervous breakdown out-of-the-way in your teens... maybe.

Geezer said his therapy had been writing music and the lyrics for songs and that the Sabbath album Sabotage was all about his depression. In the late 90s when they gave him Prozac, he said it wasn’t working at first and they told him you have to wait about six weeks. He said after those six weeks he started feeling like himself again and it was great. He details that in his book.

Well, sadly, that podcast is over so I switched over to Pod Save America, Trump Loses It Over Fox News Poll

Starting 2nd mile…

I would just like to say regarding this current controversy about Louisiana passing a law about putting the 10 Commandments in every school. How stupid is that?. One person who is pushing that said, "If you don’t like it, don’t look at them." OK? Now take that advice yourself about LGBTQ+ people.

Dumbass.

Switching to 3 miles every day instead of 5 miles every other day has caused me a backup with my blog. The last blog that went out took me all day to read through and finish. I read through it once, editing it, and then published having it go out the next morning at 6AM as normal. I can only do it for a couple of hours until I get bored and need to do something else, then return to it late which can take up much of the day. But it's getting easier as I do it more and is making me want to work on other things I've had on the back burning. Like finishing my film companion book for "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero". It's tough finishing things with no obvious reward but potential prospects.

So on the presidential debate next week...apparently the Biden team wants to win the coin toss for where the podium placement Is. The podcast is wondering if they are looking to get Biden’s good side to the camera? But somebody said, "No it’s probably to get Trump’s bad side toward the camera because that freaks him out."

Yeah, that’s brilliant, attack his weaknesses and what disrupts his mental processes because that’s what he’s been doing to everyone else since he started his ridiculousness about being POTUS. 

Again, Americans don’t elect convicted felons as president. And if you’re gonna be pushing this crap about the 10 Commandments, that’s really screwing up your candidate. Because he’s broken after all and I think he's broken every commandment except murder, and in the next few years, we may start hearing something about That. 

Maybe not that he actually had someone murdered, but that he failed in an attempt and therefore it's at least conspiracy. Actual conspiracy to murder. Remember. No matter how low you think Donald Trump can go? He will succeed to go ever lower.



Donald Trump: "CNN is fake news." That, from the Prophet of Fake News.

With Trump's bullshit that Biden has dementia (maybe Trump does), or his nonsense that Biden’s on drugs? I've said this before. I really think they need to do a drug test on the president and the ex-POTUS as they walk on stage for the debate.

Because I’m sure Biden isn’t doing anything. Other than old age meds like Trump is doing. But if anybody’s doing illegal drugs, it’s Donald Trump. Before he walks on stage, do a blood draw and tell him it’s gonna be tested for drugs, then you can give our the results before the end of the debate. See if Trump doesn’t refuse to go on stage or take the blood draw.

The problem with the absolute nonsense that Trump spews isn’t so much that he spews it and that IS a problem, but that MAGA gobbles it up so readily. This extremist right wing is so sad for America that there are no words for it. Though there are actually. Fascism. Authoritarianism. Theocracy.

Christian nationalism. White supremacism.

Considering the age of the candidates for the presidential debate, 90 seconds isn’t long enough for an answer and they should give them at least another 30 seconds

Starting my 3rd mile…

I started my walks this year wearing a fleece shirt. With the fuzzy stuff inside, insulated. And then to a lighter fleece shirt. Then to a short-sleeved shirt. Silk, one-color Hawaiian shirt type. Then a short-sleeved cotton shirt. Today a T-shirt, my University of Washington T-shirt. While I did not graduate there, I did take classes there and worked there for over seven years in the 80s and early 90s. I have worn my cargo shorts all year on these walks except for a few times on the first couple of walks this year, with jeans.

I do prefer summer and spring over fall or winter. When I was in high school I had a set of skis and a complete SCUBA set with dual 72 tanks. I had been surfing at 16 on the East Coast in Cape May, New Jersey. My younger cousin taught me. Who is conservative, who was an official in the carpenter's union and told me he hated Donald Trump because he’s dealt with him before and he always rips everybody off. He would never vote for him. That was in September of 2015 when I was returning from Ireland and spent a few days with him and his wife... in Florida. I have to say, weather wise (and Cuban sandwich-wise) I kind of loved Florida.

I used to say I was more of a surfer than a skier. I assume that had something to do with Civil Air Patrol search and rescue maneuvers in the sometimes freezing Cascade and Olympic mountains in our PNW because it would be just colder than Hell and I remember learning what it meant to be, "chilled to the bone". I learned about that term mid-junior high.

As a podcast is pointing out, there’s a huge desperate gap between the MAGA understanding of who the candidate Joe Biden is, and who the actual President Joe Biden is. It’s bizarre how such a conservative toxic fantasy is out there and how Republicans who support Trump are so unable to compare reality to their authoritarian paradigm.

Look it up. The authoritarian playbook states that you are a victim. You’re treated unfairly, journalism is dishonest and against you. Government institutions are bad. The country is failing. There is fear everywhere. There is "the other" after you, in our current American case that means immigrants, especially illegal immigrants. It’s a darkly spun fantasy.

All lies and conspiracy theories have a basis in truth the kernel of reality which they can use to spin rapidly away from it into a downward spiral of darkness. 

Conspiracy theories: "A conspiracy theory is a bunch of nonexistent connections between random events." - Criminal Minds

The podcast is referring to that video clip of President Biden in Europe, where there’s a parachutist display and conservative media (not crazed conservatives but actual conservative, professional media, supposed "journalists") clipped it so it looks like he is standing off to the side from the group talking to no one, when he’s actually talking to a parachutist on the ground with his parachute. This kind of stuff is not news. It’s outright disinformation in the greatest Russian style.

I do think we need some kind of organization or institution that monitors disinformation and corrects it. Yes, this is as dangerous as Hell, especially if the Trump administration, as government, did it. We need a truth in news and OpEd law. People need to be held accountable and stop lying to the public merely for purposes of money, power, greed, and politics. 

Sure, spin the hell out of something, but don’t lie, and don’t disinform. IF you misinform then you have to be held accountable and need to correct it to your audience ASAP. And suffer the consequences. Consequences and punishments... that hurt.

IF we're going to fail, let's fail for real, in reality, not because of fantasies.

That’s why I think Trump has earned capital punishment for his insurrection actions as POTUS45. A national leader gets away with this shit and we still have MAGA Republican insurrectionists and seditionists in Congress who need to be dealt with? Seriously?

Otherwise, we’re staged to do this all over again and if not with Trump then with someone who worked it out better and the next time, it succeeds.

But if the state executes Donald Trump for his actions, the next authoritarian dictator wannabe will think twice and just maybe, not do it.

Otherwise, we’re screwed.

I know you shouldn’t binge alcohol or sugar, both dealing with insulin levels, but I learned a long time ago if you’re craving a food, try to satisfy it and then move on to ignore it. Rather than just ignore it and keep craving it. I’ve been craving sweets lately. Which can be a lack of protein in your diet. But then you don’t want too much protein and start putting on fat. So I had my pint of Ben & Jerry’s yesterday and some whipped cream and... overdid it and didn’t sleep well. Had disturbing blood pressure & heart rate issues in trying to sleep last night, but today? I really don’t feel like eating any sugar for a while. So, I don’t know...mission accomplished?

Kids. My adult kids don’t always live up to my standards. But they’re adults. I give them their autonomy. I raised them the best I could, often at odds with their moms. Both of whom had problems. Yes, I know the central point of failure seems to be me here. And I surely had something to do with the issues. But sometimes you're just not really well matched up to your spouse. Why? You didn’t pay enough attention ahead of time. And I surely had other issues going on. Don't we all?

Anyway, my kids didn’t have that kind of structure I did growing up. I refused to, for one thing, whip them with a belt. They didn’t start Karate at the age when I did and fight in tournaments. Or get military training in junior high or a lot of other things. Or have the freedom I did in the '60s that I did. Though I was not a helicopter parent. I mean, I was, but I did it at a distance to where they couldn’t see me and thought they were on their own. Invisible helicopter parenting.

So it’s a little frustrating now when they don’t do something that I would do in the way I would do it. But I give them their freedom from parental harassment which does nothing but push your kids away further anyway.

They know I’m here for them, always. They know I love them. I know they love me. I know my youngest has said had I not existed in their life, they would’ve killed themselves in high school. Let’s just say their mom is a control freak. My oldest son’s mom was quite the opposite in not really wanting to be a mom. It must be weird to love your kid, but not really want to be a parent. When we split up, I believe her parents pushed her into taking our son and threatening me with money and lawyers. Which they had and my family never really did. So I took all the bills and would see him every other weekend. 

For those people who denigrate parents who only see their kids every other weekend, I know for me it was painful and wasn’t my choice. Especially when she moved with him to Portland. Yet I would drive halfway and to her benefit, she would meet me to drop him off and pick him back up. 

Honestly, I don’t think she did it so much to be a good mom, as to get the freedom to get drunk. Because as my son told me as an adult, which I hadn't learned till years later, she became an alcoholic after we split up. She was trying hard to be when we were married but I was there, our son was there and we were broke. When we separated I asked her friend about her behavior. One fo them kindly said, "Look, we all partied like her at college. But then we grew up after we graduated. She...can’t."

That affected our kid. But she only had him for 18 months, when she gave him back because she admitted she couldn’t handle it. Anyway, as a parent, it’s scary. You do the best you can. As someone told me back then, and I'm so very grateful for this advice: "As long as you love them and they know it, they’ll forgive you for a lot of your mistakes."

On that note, I’ll bid you adieu…

And leave you with that. It’s noon and time for lunch.

Cheers! Sláinte!

Wednesday, May 15, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #75

Thoughts & Stream of Consciousness, rough and ready, from an award-winning filmmaker and author you’ve never heard of, while walking off long Covid, and listening to podcasts…day of walk, 5/14/2024

Weather for the day… starting out, 56° nice sunny day 72° upon returning home

Podcast Marc Maron ep. 1538 - A. Whitney Brown

So May 9, 2024 Roger Corman died. I grew up watching his movies. Thank you.

Marc on the podcast will interview A. Whitney Brown at his home in Austin, Texas, which is cool because I remember him well mostly on SNL (boy he had some interesting things to say about Dennis Miller, whom I had liked until more recent years when he turned into a braindead conservative of sorts...now I know why). But then Marc talks about being at the rock museum or something and someone pulls out a bunch of cool stuff, showing him things that’s pretty cool to hear him talk about.

Interesting story about Marc’s stand-up (sitdown?) show, when a guy yelled out “fuck you“ as Marc starts talking about "Jew stuff" (being Jewish) as he put it. After talking for a while about the event he said, "I don’t know. Maybe the guy just got triggered."

I do get a kick out of, after an entire lifetime of venerating, enjoying, and watching those who entertained me, to now hear the background stories to all of those things and those times in general. This is a good podcast.

I guess as someone born in the mid 1950s, growing up through everything I had, getting "triggered" was a luxury. I never understood those knuckle draggers who just spent their egos all over anyone in range, picking fights, arguing, generally showing their ignorance and using their egos like cheap, bad guy perfume (when real mean wear cologne, you see).

I spent most of my life biting my tongue about things I wanted to speak out about. I was raised to be polite, to fit into situations. Speak up for yourself, to be sure (if you met my mother, she lived that). Over time as society evolved, where eventually you could do that and feel somewhat protected, somewhat so in a group, to the point that you can often say it when you’re alone against some other person or even to a group...maybe. 

Some of us have enough privilege that we can walk away from those sitautions alive, or to at least survive the ensuing hospital visit, while some of us, won't, don’t, can't. All for what? An opinion? An orientation? Because you were born into who you are? WTF? What is wrong with some people's children? Like MAGA who punched people in a Walmart for wearing a covid mask. WHY? Who made you the fasion police, because that's what you're doing/being. That is, an asshole.

I have trouble with the word "triggered". "Activated" perhaps...activated? Someone came up with a better word but I can’t remember if it was "activated" or not. But to me "triggered" is not a lack of self-discipline, an issue of poor personal restraint, but something that goes to the root of one's soul. Something one truly can have no control over. While often today what we from many people being “triggered “is about shit that they just want to feel triggered over, or to let go, to respond to aggressively over for a variety of reasons. How can so many, have so many issues/problems. Some do, to be sure. I feel for them. But for too many? I suspect it's poor parenting. Perhaps not putting your kids through enough trials, to help them evolve to be strong individuals. To pay attention to that, to mature into it.

Fully, I agree some people should say things they say that trigger people. But we shouldn't get triggered. Annoyed, upset, irritated? Sure. Respond intelligently? Cleverly counter stupidity, ignorance? Sure. But we're not doing that as often as I'd like to see anymore. Not that we were even a race of geniuses about that kind of thing.

I'm not a person to say the kids are weak, stupid, whatever. We've evolved. Both sides however need to grow into these times so we're all more reasonable, aware, understanding, comprehending. That ain' "woke". Though on the other hand, "woke" is just better aware. What the Buddists (Buddha Dharma) refer to as Zanshin, or Enlightenment. React appropriately because you understand, or don't react until you do. React because you do, not react and realize later, you don't.

Both sides could toughen up a little. Especially, those who resent simply being better aware of other's needs who are less considered. 

I suspect there are many people who think they’re triggered in the way that they believe Black or Gay people have a life choice of who they are. It’s nice we can speak out more freely now. But too often people are speaking out when they should keep their damn mouth shut. Sorry, but MAGA comes to mind.

Too many delusionally believe (I'd say think, but I'm unsure where thinking comes into it) we live in a theocratic or totalitarian state where they are part of the majority. Which doesn’t matter then as long as you’re part of your beloved leader's group. Until he (probably "he") goes psychotic and you become part of those, as in the USSR when Stalin slaughtered at least 9 million citizens (somewhere between 6 and 20 million). Fun times. Authoritarianism. Yay! Rise up authoritarian autocrats! It’s all, fun and joking until you are the one that gets tossed in the camps, or shot in the back of the head after being dragged out of your bed at 2 AM while your spouse and children watch. Then it’s not quite so much fun.

Stalin by the way practiced the fun form of government called (wait for it) Stalinisn:

Key characteristics of Stalinism include:


ANY of that sound familiar to any current America FPOTUS now in his own personal criminal trial with more trials to come?

Anyway, I think we need to be less triggered. 

And I agree we need to do less canceling. 

There’s a difference between confronting, or refusing to accept a concept. Than simply ignoring it utterly, or refusing it to be brought into the light were it tends to die after a while. I attribute that to a lack of patience in today society about the bad things we don't like and about the wrong things we think if you won't talk about them or refuse to acknowledge them, they'd go away. We really need to get that straight in our heads. You addrews evil, civily. When it becomes murderous, you act accordingly. You act proactively, in ways that are more intelligent than less. Holding your breath until it goes away? Is no solution.

So I’ve been doing these "Walkabout Thoughts" for a while now. Which, as you may know, started with my trying to walk off symptoms of long Covid and found that it worked. Somewhat (some is better than none) If I just walked enough miles. Before it would take me a few days to get around to doing a read through of my podcast thoughts and walking ruminations, toward getting it to a functional point of anyone else reading it. Now I’m often doing it the same day, putting it out the next day, at 6am in the morning. I’ve had my overall Murdockinations blog around for 13 years now? Something like that.

There was a time where a lotta people around the world were reading it. I think my biggest readership was during the Arab Spring when a lot of Egyptians were having trouble accessing information in country or about their country. So with this current rendition of my blog, with these "Walkabouts Thoughts", which I intersperse with various oddities intermittently, once the blog hits the internet and goes live, I then share it on social media. And I pretty quickly get hits by people reading it. It was nice to see this morning when my previous blog went live, even before I could share it I noticed there were already people reading it. Tthank you for that! Actually, I still haven’t shared that one on social media today, I forgot.

As for those intermittant blogs between these "Walkabouts", some recent ones include:
Anyway. Moving on…
Wow. A. Whitney Brown only got as far as eighth grade? He was always a really sharp guy. I always thought he was more educated. He just had that air. I guess like Dennis Miller. And according to Brown, yeah, book and it's cover, and all that...

A. Whitney Brown left home in 1968 at 15, leaving behind the kerosene lamps and outhouse and his family who was falling apart through alcoholism and mental institutions and he headed up to Canada to a rock festival with Steppenwolf and some of the people that were there were not long after a Woodstock. Then he went to Woodstock. How was that? Damn. Pretty cool.

My older brother is about his age. He had a band with my sister in the 60s. I think I remember him talking about wanting to go to Woodstock, to some big festival the entire country of young were headed to and it was going to be awesome! But he couldn’t get the money together and didn't go. He later regretted that.

For Whitney, he said LSD saved his life and that Woodstock had a lot of psychedelics. For me, I refuse to do that or heroin until I got out of high school. My brother turned me onto cannabis when I was 16, the summer before 12th grade (I turned 17 within a week). Graduated 1973 having tried weed for the first time with my brother that time in Phoenix on the way home that summer from Cape May, New Jersey where I was surfing with my cousin. My older brother lived in Arizona for about seven years. I went home and immediately stopped doing all the pills I was doing back then, which was gonna lead me to early grave. I didn’t get into psychedelics until I think '74 when I graduated,got a job, and moved out to my own apartment that summer of 73. Friend of mine turned me onto his fiancé’s girlfriend who was living a block away and who I eventually married.

I had acquired some acid from somewhere that first time. I wanted to try it, but was afraid to. But my girlfriend said she had done it before a few times and she would stay with me that night and what a great night that was. Then I really got into it over the next 10 years or so until the 80s when cocaine came on the scene. While there was still acid, more so... mushrooms. I’d have to say over the 70s and 80s I tried a lot of things. Make a good book or a movie, maybe.

As happened to Whitney as detailed on the podecast, I wonder if I can find a single moment in my life that I can trace everything back to when it changed everything? I want to say yes, but I also want to say, probably multiple episodes of that. I suppose the situation I mentioned above with my brother and the first time I tried weed in Phoenix, actually Mesa, Arizona, obviously changed my life (for the better) because I truly believed I probably would’ve done the wrong pills, probably with some alcohol, over that next year and never graduated. Or made it into the next yeara. I had a serious belief back then that I'd never live until 21. That belief freed me up to do a lot of crazy shit. Though I hadn't accounted for something. I think the reason I survived that, the crazy shit, was because I’d had so much professional training, already. 

Martial arts in grade school and early junior high, fighting tournaments, under a world class Sensei. Military training, search and rescue, and first responder first aid in Civil Air Patrol in Junior high when I flew and landed my first airplane, and took ground school. And damn just so much stuff. I used to say by the time I graduated high school had done more (back in 1973) than many adults had done in their entire lives. I mean, I wrote a screenplay about part of that, “The Teenage Bodyguard. “An internationally awarded screenplay, actually with a known Hollywood producer attached to it...if we can ever get it sold and find the right damn director who has a vision at least somewhat similar to mine, in telling a story of what actually happened, rather than trying to make it into a simple money making vehicle (That is, money, nice!). I mean, dude! Let’s do both!

Shhhh… Don’t tell anyone, the screenplay I wrote was my own biopic for a week of my life in the 70s. Apparently it’s bad form to let people know you’re the screenwriter for a story about you. I don’t know why it should matter. (no, I DO, with generally so many bad screenplays...I do get it, bad screenwriter, bad story, producer's/director's wasted time, they do get hammered with nonsense...)

But I have a university degree in psychology and phenomenology, both good training for self discovery, and professional observation and reportage. I’m also an award-winning writer/screenwriter and the screenplay is a multiple award winner. Now, if I can just sell the damn thing. So if you know any good preferably known, directors…

I pitched that bodyguard concept to a producer in London long ago now. I had adapted a paranormal romance novel to screenplay format, at the authors request. Which got me in touch with him. He asked, "What else do you have?" I told him I’ve got these written screenplays and I have these ideas that I’m thinking about writing. He said, "If you ever write that idea, “the teenage bodyguard", I want to see it first."

I’m not stupid. Over the next 19 days I wrote it as fast as I could and got back to him. That was no where near as good as it is now, by the way.

This was a while back I don’t know 2012 maybe. He said, "Thanks, I'll send it off to the readers and see what they say." And then, I never heard from him again. Over the next years I reworked that draft. I hadn’t send him my first draft, I sent my second. Never send your first draft to anyone. I  eventually worked with screenplay consultant Jennifer Grisanti and that producer I mentioned above, Robert Mitas, who still produces alongside producer/actor Michael Douglas. Loving his new series on Apple+ streaming about Ben Franklin in France.

Anyway, that London producer disappeared. Eventually, I tried to track him down. What I found was, he was actually a micro producer on very tiny projects. Too small for this story.Maybe he could have been a good connection, networking and all. I don't know. So I moved on.

Oh, one thing I did want to say about that London producer was, I offered to change the title. I thought it was too obvious. But he said he loved that title. Don’t change it, he said.It says everything right there. He also said the storyline reminded him of “The Place Beyond Phe pines". So I went and watched that movie and loved it and it re-oriented me on my screenplay. My first draft was trying to be a biopic, a dramatic documentary. I was trying to stick to the truth. But that’s not entertaining. That’s a documentary, which while it can be entertaining as a documentary, I was shooting for something else.

It’s a true crime genre film and a biopic. But that seemed to be working against me so I came to wonder, is it a biopic if it’s only covering one week of someone’s life? Nope. But the thing is, for people to accept the protagonist, they had to know his background so they would buy it all, buy into what they were seeing? So after years of not realizing I shouldn’t call it a biopic, I started calling it a true crime drama. 

Now I think I have a better chance at a director seeing what I'm hinking and take it seriously as a drama. Not to mention it actually happened as a true crime story involving a 1973 Tacoma Washington mafia family. And this kid how protects witness who is running from that family, who owned the Tiki topless restaurant in Lakewood Washington, the  greater Tacoma area's first topless joint. I researched these guys for years and the more I found the more I was stunned.

Turned out there was a federal court trial of these guys that had to be moved to San Francisco and became national headline news, because they couldn’t trust Seattle/Tacoma government as the crime family had their fingers deep into the sheriff's office, the prosecutor, and maybe even the governor, or at least his office.

There is a fascinating book by a Seattle newspaper writer who did write a book about the greater Seattle area mafia families. Good book.

by Rick Anderson

Just passed my 2nd mile, working on my third, hoping to get a fourth. Not really feeling 100% though.

Whitney is now recounting his travels on the podcast at this point, so awesome.

That’s something, he said, maybe remember something. 

After I got divorced in 2002, whenever my kids would be away for the weekend, I would hit the bars in Seattle. All I did was commute 4 hours a day, work hard in IT, then raise my kids. No time for dating, or adult oriented fun. I had a lot of fun with the kids, but you know, you need to blow off steam in a novel environment once in a while.

With the kids gone, I would take the ferry over from Bainbridge Island, and try to hit every bar in Seattle... over time. I'd wear completely different clothes each time: Grunge one time, dressed to the 9s another. Had some adventures. There was one bar I liked, owned by a Russian guy. Called the "Backdoor". A block or two up the street from Pioneer Square, which is a big party bar venue area, with the bar right next to the Seattle underground light rail entrance, on an incline and across the street up above...the county courthouse. 

There were steps going down to the light rail and a few feet away the back door of the Backdoor with steps going up (like 60 steps, they were killer when you'd had a few or many). This place was often packed, I remember fighting to get to the bar to order another drink so I could talk to the Russian owner. I gave him my card and said, "You know what you’re missing here? A website." Why that’s memorable is I said that and he looked around at that packed little room off the dance floor, which was off the other bar on the other side side. Everything‘s packed with people (almost every time I was in there, the only time it wasn't was one day I wandered in around lunch time and people were sitting around eating lunches). He took the card, nodded his head, smiled and said, "OK." Never heard from him. Days later, I realized how stupid that was. Why the hell did he need a website when a lot of people still hardly knew what a website was. And with little marketing the place was always packed.

I forgot to mention that I rewrote my bodyguard screenplay with Robert Mitas’ input. I’ve sent them both off to screenplay contests and for whatever reason, my longer more accurate version has won more awards. Although that shorter collaboration screenplay in a better screenplay format to be honest, has also won a couple.

You see, what I came to realize, or believe anyway, with the rewritten version, it is a better spec script, better sellable script. And the problem with that is even if the true crime drama is not as easy to sell, I personally find it (and apparently others do as well) a far better story. And for how I am, a far more accurate screenplay, depicting more of what happened more accurately. I found it was funny because I had cards in the screenplay with dates and Robert thought that would confuse the audience. Too many dates and jumping around. I was telling my childhood in reverse and the criminals actions in real time leading up to the beginning of "the week". Sounds confusing, it's not. And since we re-wrote it I’ve seen a lot of movies that have cards on screen with dates and by cards I mean on screen text, or inserts (SUPERS). Since we re-wrote it, I've seen a lot of movies that have those and a lot that don’t... so I don’t know. I wonder if it isn't just personal preference.

Well? I’ve got until I die to sell the script and see it produced. So I’m giving it my best shot. I’ve submitted it to several companies just the past couple weeks. If only I knew who would be interested I'd send it to them. But that's every screenwriter's dilemma, isn't it. Of course the problem is not sending it, but it getting to them, whomever would care to see it. I find it ironic because true crimes pretty popular, so WTF is the problem?

OK, I just hit 3.5 miles. That means I’m guaranteed 4 miles plus today. Yay! 

Whitney has a good point on the podcast about Mark Twain who he said was a stand-up comedian but they called it lecturing back then. He said he was his hero as far as doing stand up. I love Mark Twain, always have. I never thought of him as a standup, but I’ve often thought that about quotes of his.

Whitney said nobody made him laugh harder than WC Fields. Regardless of anything about him, I have always enjoyed his work since I was a kid, love those old funny guys, and duos (or trios). I was a huge fan of Woody Allen since I saw his first film back in this 70s? Aside from my psychology degree at university and aside from my minor in writing and screen writing, I had focused on the cinematic works of Stanley Kubrick, Woody Allen, and Hitchcock. Since then as I found out about all three of those guys being...problematic...characters, in their personal or professional lives. So, what are you gonna do? No one‘s gonna give a shit 100 years from now when they view their works.

On that topic, I first ran into problematic professionals and their art when my beloved grandmother told me as a kid she didn’t like Charlie Chaplin. She’s been dead for decades now and I’ve since learned Charlie was greatly misunderstood and malaigned. Sigh...

So the way I look at it is if they’re still getting money (and they’re still alive) from their art, consider not giving them more money. But if they’re dead, I don’t know, fuck off? They’re historical at that point.

Whitney said: “the casual brutality of life, day-to-day.” “to respond to that with laughter, to turn that into laughter… “

That’s interesting. I’ve long thought about writing my autobiography and I’ve been storing notes anytime I write anything that’s historically correct about my history, just toward that. I found a lot of humor in the tragedy in my life. Not alot, not always big, but it's there. We all have it. The tiny tragedies just to us? Maybe I need to focus more on that. It’s funny because since I was much younger, like high school, I would tell friends things that happened to me and they'd be rolling in the aisles laughing about it. I’d be like... you think that’s funny? But I was in on the joke because I would laugh with them because you could see the absurdity. The whole pain and anguish plus time equals comedy, thing. I never quite knew what to do with that. How to turn it into money, or a living?

In my way of thinking, a lot of my fiction, of my published sci-fi and horror, has a lot of comedy in it. When I think back in my life to just about every time I almost died, there was always laughter or a chuckle involved first and then it happened. Giggle, giggle, grin, then Boom!

And I got in my 4 miles for the day [this now is from after I got home: I finally took my prevsious walk's steps of 3 miles and subtracted from today's and found the "steps" for 1 mile at 2,190 (I'm just calling it 2220 steps equaling a mile, for me)]

OK, so I’ll leave you with that. It’s almost time for lunch.
As always, I wish you all, all the greatest success and good health!
Just put in the time and effort for those successes.  
Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!