Walkabout Thoughts #97b - Screenplays

 Nope, didn't walk again today. Feeling better after the air cleared yesterday. 

The third day of adding to my walks with strength training, some weights, and sit-ups, and I'm a bit sore but less than yesterday, and feeling pretty great from it. Looking forward to more.

First off I'd just like to mention something. I've been watching Orlando Bloom: To The Edge show. 

"Synopsis: Actor and adventure enthusiast Orlando Bloom embarks on a physical, mental and spiritual journey of self-discovery as he undertakes three extreme sports -- wingsuiting, free diving and rock climbing -- to push himself to the edge of what is possible. With family, friends and his spiritual Buddhist practice guiding the way, Orlando is trained by experts who help him overcome obstacles, face his fears, and discover valuable lessons about himself."

I lean Buddhist. I've been a skydiver, & parachute rigger in the USAF, I've done rope work and climbed cliffs, more tactical than technical but some technical was involved in search & rescue. He takes a week to learn and achieve more than is reasonable in skydiving, free diving, and technical climbing. It's an interesting show and experience and reminds me of how it was doing those things for the first time and the difficulties mental and physical. And to see him really struggling but never giving up. You don't quit. 

You do more than you know you can, and then you do it. You may know you can't do it, but you keep pushing and then..you've done it. Life is good. Unless you die, or worse, don't and are just broken. I've been lucky, with good reflexes, and learned from the best. So does Orlando. He's been lucky, with good reflexes and a normal for him, intense workout. But here he's pushing himself beyond his limits (and mine from my past) and in his final episode with climbing, it makes for a good final episode. It's pretty impressive and somehow cathartic. 

And nostalgic...

Moving on. I received a win today for my screenplay, "The Teenage Bodyguard", a True Crime/Drama. My 13th international award for this screenplay.

That led me to update this award on my IMDb page (they suggested that, so nice of the thought I would look into it if it's an award IMDb allows). Looking at three of my hosts on my screenplays and updating all the loglines and synopses on all of them. Took me all day. Kind of (boring and long) fun and cathartic. Why cathartic?

This all turned into an interesting situation.

See, IMDb is basically, the "Internet Movie Database". Movie. Not screenplays.

When I won my first few awards for a screenplay, which I think was THIS one, I didn't realize I could put it on IMDb. When I realized that I tried to add it to my profile there.

They refused. I was confused.

The festival said, "We're IMDb Award certified (or whatever) and you can add your award there."

But they would never let me add a screenplay. I tried until frustrated some years ago, I gave up.

But today was different. It said on IMDb when I was adding the award (and tried to add a screenplay that didn't exist), that I should add it using the add reform. I've used that many times for my films. Frustrating, and miserable the first few times but a breeze once you're used to it. Just not for screenplays. Apparently.

Anyway, I pushed through today and went around and around and kept trying until finally, it clicked...and went through. Which only means I got it into the queue until they could examine it and, deny it, or accept it. This has taken weeks before. In recent years it's been faster though.

Within about an hour it was approved!

Cool. 

But that got me to thinking. I updated my logline and synopsis for it. But then I had to do it elsewhere too for compatibility Then I should probably update my other scripts and screenplays.

That took all day. I had to update the new IMDb page to add all the awards that IDMb would accept. I had to update the synopsis on IMDb. I needed to update that on Script Revolution and Film Freeway (and a counterpart of theirs, WFCN), and I just got a notification from MovieBytes' WinningScripts to update or lose the screenplay's accessibility. Probably should do the BlackList, too.

WinningScript may not seem like much, or much now, but that little free site has led me to some very interesting connections and networking. From that site, I got a job to do an adaptation of an author's novel to screenplay format. Then a second author. Also to the publisher of my first two books. 

You never know where your efforts will pay off and it certainly hasn't been to the efforts that charged the most or cost me the most money. Not that all of those are a waste of time. But you have to be smart and manage your money, time, resources, and efforts.

On that note, I’ll bid you adieu...and leave you with that.
It’s nowhere near noon time or lunch. It's 8:20PM Saturday night.

Cheers! Sláinte!

Screenplay Review from The Blacklist - Teenage Bodyguard

After a couple of tense weeks waiting, I finally got my first review back from The Blacklist on my true crime biopic, Slipping "The Enterprise", also known as, Teenage Bodyguard. First off, this is a story that is set in a time and place that has not been harvested. The Tacoma Mafia? Seriously. Plus, it's a true story and kind of unique. One would think the right studio could make it something very interesting.

Anyway, I had originally slapped the Teenage Bodyguard working title on it when I wrote the screenplay for a London production company who had asked for it a couple of years ago. I wrote it in nineteen days after they asked for it, worked on it night and day. In the end, they didn't pick it up. But then it is about a teen in 1974 Tacoma, Washington, and the local mafia. It's a hell of a true story in a location and about people that are as yet untapped in Hollywood, or elsewhere.

Mostly it felt like the reader\reviewer liked it, just saw some issues (thankfully). These are $75 reads by industry professionals. According to The Blacklist themselves:

Think of blcklst.com as your personalized, real-time Black List. Instead of an annual list of the year's most-liked unproduced screenplays, you can log on at any time and get list of the week's, month's, and year's most liked unproduced screenplays AND a list of screenplays you're most likely to like based on your tastes and everyone else's.

I got the exact number rating from 1-10 that I'd expected. In fact, nailed it. On the specifics, some very nice indicated strengths including dialog and showing not telling. Finally, as that'd been an issue of mine years ago in a prose writer learning screenplay format. Part of the Strengths summary said:

There are a number of sequences in this screenplay where the pace of the dialogue really stands out. When conversations move quickly - as the exchange does between Gordie and Sara from page 44 to 46, for example's sake - it keeps the reader's (meaning prospective buyer's) eyes moving down the page and gives the scene an energy that can translate to the screen effectively. (But, be sure that those characters have distinct voices; a character's personality really comes to life on the page when their voice is unique and idiosyncratic.).

That last comment is important and I will go over the screenplay again to review and enhance the dialog.

Down side, as expected, the time line. It's a hybrid, it not linear. It's indie, it's nearly experimental. But properly handled by a deft hand at the helm, not only very doable, but a very entertaining and complex ride. But that doesn't sell easily. Part of the Weaknesses summary were:

This script could benefit from some serious streamlining. Ultimately, the 1974 timeline is the one that matters; Gordie is the true lead, and his central goal is to keep Sara safe until she can leave Washington. Let's focus on that plot, and have Gordie come across his primary antagonist - Caliguri - long before page 95.

I already have a fix for that. I will probably make the changes and put it out again for a new review. I have one more coming in as one review is always at least somewhat dangerous for a variety of reasons. Still, that's $150 for two reviews, but worth it.

Comments were also that an 18 year old lead will be a hard sale to producers/studios for this property. But let's face it, it would end up being most likely, some 26 year old baby faced lead. That's just the nature of some of the hurdles of some projects that one has to get over. As in studios not wanting senior citizen types as leads in a film and yet, we've seen some amazing films with older people as leads. Think, Driving Miss Daisey, for instance.

The reader also didn't like, quite as I had expected, a flashback in a flashback in a flashback. I've seen those done in big movies, mostly indies, and they can be fun. Again, a deft hand directing and it's quite doable. But I figured I'd get push back on that and will probably come up with a better format to exposit that information and that part of the storyline.

Again, not easy to sell originality (hopeful and perceived as it may be) because buyers are looking for easy money with little effort. I get that. I can fix that issue with little difficulty, even though it will drift away from an accurate docudrama to loosely held biopic. But then, I was shooting to make a biopic. And nearly all of them drift off from reality to entertainment. That's the nature of the beast.

I will save this current version of the screenplay, version twelve. The twelfth draft. But I will keep it as version one. After several more potential drafts this next iteration will become version two, just in case I get somewhere and someone wants to see the original. In the case that the revised version sells the property and that opens the door for the more convoluted and creative version or some form in between. I'm not tied to my original version, just looking to make the best film possible while remaining as true to reality as is possible.

Next up, gather my energy and get back to a new draft and start all over again. After I get the response from the second reader....

UPDATE 7/27 3pm: King of had the blahs today. Finally got myself motivated to get on my Harley and rode up a long road, turned around, came back to the Garage bar, had some tasty lunch lunch and a 22 ounce beer and read more of David Mamet's book on directing.

Then I got the idea. Move a teaser of a scene to the beginning of the screenplay, change all dates to the primary year and have it all happen within the one primary week in the story, then take one scene and make the leads be the ones to witness to a crime the bad guys perform.

Tightens most of the issues up incredibly well.