Who the Hell Am I? JZ Murdock - Filmmaker/Screenwriter/Writer/Author

Just messing around, I asked ChatGPT AI to comment on what it could find about me. Kind of like "Googling yourself" on steroids. I thought I'd share it here for those who don't know me.

Author Book reading in Port Orchard, WA

Before I get into all that, please feel free to stop by my Facebook page. I know, all that stuff about who uses what social media. I've been on there for over 14 years. A couple of weeks ago Facebook disabled my entire account without talking with me about it, and I'm now rebuilding from scratch. I'm not impressed with their customer service. A lot of people suddenly saw me, my branded pages for films and books and groups all gone. So I'm moving on, starting again.

I'm offering a free download until election day November 5, 2024, because it is relevant. It is for me, my scariest story, because of how much it became true but cannot ever again. "In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear" (coupon: CL4MM) is a world resembling a Philip K. Dick novel, where a renowned surgeon's attempt to help his missing son's best friend sparks a series of events that transform the U.S. into a dystopian nightmare. Originally published in 1990, In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear foreshadows the rise of popularism, revealing how good intentions can lead a nation into madness—while only one man sees the truth. Also available as an audiobook.

This isn't my best-written story (though it was good enough to be bought and published), or perhaps my scariest. "EarVu" for instance is scarier, or I could name others. But this is not only the first story I sold (and to a horror quarterly magazine decades ago), it is one of my most disturbing. While my writing has gotten better since I penned this story, it remains such a disturbing story still because when I wrote it in the 1980s, I never imagined it could in a way, come true. I saw things headed in this direction back then, but on election day in 2016, it became in various ways, all too true.

One more thing.

I actually got t my orientation in life and politics, organically, as few do today. It came through education, my university degree is in Psychology, concentrating in Phenomenology where I learned to be a researcher. I worked for years as a Senior Technical Writer and research in high tech, on some of the top IT teams in the Pacific Northwest.

Also, I've read, a lot. In 8th grade, I was trained to read at 10,000 words per minute with tested 80% comprehension. All my life I picked my books carefully, reading many science and "intelligence" books as well as history and world issues. Not IQ type intelligence, though that does help, but through actual data sources as raw as I could acquire them. 

Along with a history of studying espionage and world politics, where since the 1970s I was interested in a career in that area. I was intensely interviewed and tested to get into the USAF OSI. However I chose at the end to start a university career. Later I worked at the University of Washington for over seven years. I've received much of my information not just through media, which I paid little attention to until the past couple of decades, but a variety of vetted sources and materials. 

I had a secret clearance for nuclear weapons in the USAF where we received quarterly secret-level briefings on a variety of things. Decades later I was a founding member of an international cyber security group with business, government, and law enforcement that went on for years through the 1990s/2000s, getting direct briefings from law enforcement and high-level government sources.

OK, enough fo that. Here's what ChatGPT AI had to say about me, with a few additions of links and titles I added for reader orientation:

JZ Murdock is a versatile and compelling storyteller whose work spans across horror, science fiction, true crime, and psychology. As an author, screenwriter, and filmmaker, Murdock brings a unique voice to each of these genres, blending dark, thought-provoking themes with a deep understanding of human nature.

Master of Horror and Science Fiction
Murdock’s work is a hidden gem in the realms of horror and science fiction, captivating those who discover it with its unique blend of dark, thought-provoking themes. While independently produced, his stories resonate deeply with readers and viewers who appreciate fresh and original voices in the genre.

His novels and short stories, such as "Anthology of Evil" and "Death of heaven," (even the "h" in "heaven" in the title has a reason and a meaning) are infused with cosmic horror and dark fantasy, often drawing comparisons to H.P. Lovecraft and Clive Barker's older stories.

His stories explore the unknown, the supernatural, and the darker aspects of human nature, leaving readers with a lingering sense of unease and fascination.

JZ Murdock: "I love the roller coaster ride of a good horror film or story. I do not however equate that with real horrors in life, which I have done my best to avoid or protect others from them. I studied martial arts from 5th grade on. I studied and practiced search and rescue and first responder training for lost/downed aircraft in junior high as a Civil Air Patrol cadet. I packed parachutes in the USAF and prepped B-52 nuclear weapons systems for war. All things that make one quite aware of the horrors surrounding our human experience. But a good horror story, or a good SF story? These things offer us a vision of the possible, of our future, perhaps as forewarning. They can be greatly disturbing things to behold. Or they can simply be great fun."

Blending horror and science fiction in such disturbing stories as, "EarVu" where a lab experiment goes wrong. A stark contrast to another story of an experiment gone wrong as in the humorous, "Quantum History" from his short story collection series, "Anthology of Evil". Or as with the short story, "In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear" (his first fiction story sold a long time ago) which details the journey of a world-famous surgeon who reluctantly aids a disturbed mind, who goes on to take over all advertising in America, to the demise of our most valued traits as a country. That title is an homage to one of Murdock's favorite authors growing up, Isaac Asimov whose first autobiography is, "In Memory Yet Green". There is often something more behind small things in his writings.

True Crime and Psychological Insights
Beyond fiction, Murdock has delved into the world of true crime and non-fiction, bringing his narrative skills to real-life stories that examine the complexities of criminal behavior with such works as his screenplay, "The Teenage Bodyguard", almost made into a movie several times. Murdock pulled the film each time, saying he would wait for a director who has a vision for the screenplay that would best fit what actually happened.

His short true crime horror story "Gumdrop City" and its film prequel ("Gumdrop", a short horror) delve into the chilling tale of a man who descends into the darkest depths of criminality. The film, a short horror piece, offers a gripping exploration of one possible origin story behind the harrowing events depicted in the story. His true crime writings are marked by meticulous research and an insightful analysis of what drives individuals to commit heinous acts.

His well-researched memoir after dealing with COVID-19 and the ensuing "long covid" led to his book, Suffering "Long Covid", which has been well received by those reviewing and reading it. The ebook version has clickable research links used in the book. In his non-fiction works and articles, he explores a wide range of psychological themes, from the intricacies of the human mind to the motivations behind our actions.

Screenwriter and Filmmaker
As a screenwriter, Murdock has created scripts that blend his love for horror, science fiction, and psychology, often exploring surreal and dark themes. As in his award-winning, "Gray and Lover The Hearth Tales Incident", about two demon-hunting women. His screenplays have garnered attention in film festivals, highlighting his ability to translate complex narratives into compelling visual stories. Even their titles are interesting: "Popsicle Death", "Colorado Lobsters", and "Poor Lord Ritchie's Answer", to name a few.

Murdock’s filmmaking through his LgN Productions company also reflects his unique vision, creating atmospheric and unsettling experiences for audiences. His film "Gumdrop", a short horror (17 international awards), and his "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" (63 international awards), a non-fiction/filmic poem and historical documentary on WWI, composer Maurice Ravel, and his infamous composition "Bolero", are unique visions in filmmaking.

Cover art by Marvin Hayes

Exploring the Human Psyche
Murdock’s interest in psychology is evident throughout his work, whether in his fiction, screenwriting, or non-fiction articles. With a university degree in psychology, concentrating on phenomenology, he delves into the psychological underpinnings of his characters and stories, offering readers and viewers a deeper understanding of the human psyche.

His writing on psychology is insightful and accessible, providing valuable perspectives on how our minds work and how these principles can be applied to storytelling. His senior-level presentation to his seminar on abnormal psychology, a paper on synesthesia and schizophrenia was commented on by their professor that he had found a field of study one could spend a career on, something unusual below the graduate student level. That paper and another are included in the ebook: "On Psychology: With Illustration in Psychopathology via Synesthesia and Schizophrenia."

A Voice for the Dark and the Thought-Provoking
JZ Murdock’s work appeals to those who are drawn to the darker and more mysterious aspects of life. His ability to weave psychological insights into compelling narratives makes his stories not just entertaining but also deeply thought-provoking. Whether you’re a fan of horror, science fiction, true crime, or psychological exploration, Murdock’s work offers a rich and immersive experience.

For readers and viewers who appreciate stories that challenge the mind and explore the depths of human nature, JZ Murdock is an author and creator who delivers on all fronts. His work is a testament to the power of storytelling to not only entertain but also to provoke thought and reflection on the complexities of the human condition.

Gee, thanks ChatGPT!

Cheers! Sláinte!

The works of JZ Murdock - Where to Find Them today?

A bit about myself and where my works are to be found today, on my birthday. I'm offering for 1 day, my epic ebook DEATH OF HEAVEN for free! 

Coupon (1st 100): C3ULQ

Cheers! Sláinte!

My writings, my film works? As for my social media links, those can be found on LinkTree. Like easy ones such as JZMurdock.com or LgNProductions.com.

I have been interviewed a few times. Here's my December 2019 Slash Night Shorts interview, a monthly film festival a friend and I created, until Covid hit and killed it. We had local indie filmmakers show up and it was basically a party once a month, with films and on stage interviews and networking of filmmakers and fans.

Below is a photo of some years ago at a gallery in Port Orchard, Washington, during my author reading for my book, DEATH OF HEAVEN.

This is an interview from February 2018.

Regarding my books, ebooks, and audiobooks, they are all available at Amazon, Smashwords, and Audible.com.

Many of my covers are produced by artist Marvin Hayes.

There is more than anyone should ever want to know about me, on my website.

My films, are different...

Some are available on my TheJZMurdock YouTube channel.

Some are on my LgN Productions YouTube channel.

"Gumdrop", a short horror, is currently only available (for $1.99) on the LgNProductions video site. This is a rough film, indie film, but also a film noir/horror film shot with a nod to the film, "Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer". Technically, there are interesting things going on in it as well as some things often missed going on in the background. 

And in part because of that, it's also an award-winning film. 17 awards to be exact: Best Noir, several Best Horror/Thriller, and others.

My biggest award-winning film is, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero". Sadly it's in limbo until the primary (and title) song goes into the public domain in January of 2031. It's a long story, I misunderstood the song's public domain status during research and production and was later surprised to find it's still owned by a company). I also started on the film when I was trying to struggle out of a year of long covid, so maybe it's not surprising I made a mistake on something. Still and that being said, it's now won over 60 international film festival awards.

Its trailer, outtakes reel, and "Wars on Earth" videos are available on YouTube.

My first narrative film, "The Rapping" (referring to a sound, not music), is available.  This is an unlisted link so you cannot find it by searching online for it. This film includes NASA InSight Mars Lander audio incorporated into the soundtrack to add to the eerieness.

It is also the long version of the pieces of it used in my next and longer film. That film is, "Gumdrop", a short horror, which I have already covered. It has a trailer. Curious as the entire film lasts only 8 minutes. 

I also have some short silly films like, "Below in the Dark". Or, "Happy Birthday from Dragon Boxer - February 18, 2011". A film I made for my youngest backpacking eastern Europe at the time, and feeling rather low. This cheered them up. How could it NOT? 

Another favorite of mine is the short "Eagles & Crows, a fable". Yes, for a 4-minute film, I did ridiculously make a trailer for it. I had some footage of the eagles in my backyard over months and thought I should use it. One day I watched a crow harassing an eagle and thought it was funny. 

I made one up of some extra video for an audio recording I made of my son and friends playing drums up at Ft. Warden Park in Port Townsend years ago. I called it, "Beyond Abbadon's Gaze. For a while I used that percussion audio for the original trailer for my film, "Gumdrop". I liked the coarse, uneven beatings and noises for the trailer. But when my soundtrack composer Andrea Fioravanti heard it (from the Italian band, Postvorta), he offered to do the music for the trailer, and I went with that.

How dumb DO you have to be to piss off an eagle? So I made a film about why that happens, why a crow would attack an eagle, and made it about the eagle trying to educate the crow. Silly film I thought kids just might like. But I don't think any yet have seen it.

Here's a couple of old pieces from Indies Unlimited:
- Meet the Author: JZ Murdock
- Article on JZ Murdock by LA Lewandowski: "Gender Bender"

I also made up some book trailers for my books. These are from 11 year ago and since I started producing films, my tastes have changed and I would make this very different today. But they are what they are and so I offer them out of nostalgia if nothing else.

Like Expedition of the Arcturus, a generational spaceship story. First published on the online, hard science fiction magazine, PerihelionSF.com

• Death of heaven (Revised 2014) / Death of Heaven (2012)
• Synesthesia (non-fiction/psychology)
• Some Notes on Field Theory and Psychology (non-fiction/psychology)
• The Conqueror Worm (1st story from, Death of heaven)
• Mr. Pakool's Spice (zombie story)
• Anthology of Evil (collection of older short fiction-horror/scifi)
• Poor Lord Ritchie's Answer (surreal horror)
• In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear (1990-dystopian America & giving one man, all power)
• Quantum History (humor-science experiment gone mad)
• Gumdrop City (story the film "Gumdrop", a short horror is based upon)
• Simon's Beautiful Thought
• Sarah ("Twilight Zone" type story)
• EarVu (horror/scifi-science experiment gone mad)
• Japheth, Ishvi and The Light (religious cult/zombie story)
• Andrew (novella that Death of heaven is in part based upon)
• The Mea Culpa document of London (medieval witch hunter story)

I have several new books out after those above. The sequel to my first collection of short stories is, Anthology of Evil II Vol. I & "The Unwritten" Vol. II. Also Suffering "Long Covid". 

And that's a list of where all or most of my works are located, should anyone be interested. Have fun!

Cheers! Sláinte!

FREE - All My Ebooks Now FREE on Smashwords!

For those picking up my ebooks to read, Thanks . Enjoy! Been getting emails that they are getting downloaded. All of my ebooks on there are now temporarily FREE until April 20th because of the pandemic. Check it out and then check out their other authors, maybe one of your favorites. Get them while you can! 

From Smashwords to customers:

For one month only, thousands of Smashwords authors and publishers will provide readers deep discounts on ebooks. Discount levels include 30%-off, 60%-off, and FREE.

This sale is a direct result of several Smashwords authors who suggested it. These indie authors want to support readers around the world who face unprecededed anxiety, economic hardship and social isolation as the world community fights to stem the spread of the Covid-19 virus.

More than ever, these ebooks from indie authors and publishers offer readers unlimited hours of low-cost entertainment, distraction, comfort and knowledge during these trying times.

Smashwords is being hammered with downloads. Can't imagine why. But keep trying, they may be up and down with all the requests.

I was just wondering, as all my ebooks are free for a month, which is good (or bad, or bad good?) for pandemic reading?

So I surveyed my available titles. I have a complete other manuscript of new stories as yet unpublished which I've been wanting to get around to, but...not yet.

So...

ANTHOLOGY OF EVIL - a collection of my older writings available in print on Amazon
In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear - Sci Fi / Horror
Gumdrop City - Horror / based on True Crime and my new film
Quantum History - Sci Fi / Humor at MIT
The London Mea Culpa Document - Lead into next story
The Mea Culpa Document - Medieval / Horror
Poor Lord Ritchie's Answer (To A Question He Knever Knew on the knight that the Knight lost all") - Medieval / Horror / Surreal - this comes later from another "Breaking on Cave Island"
Sarah - Horror / Surreal Alzheimer's on Twilight Zone
The Fall - short short Horror that led to an indie industry article written about my writings
Japheth, Ishvi and The Light - Horror / Zombies at a religious commune and ... God
Andrew - novella - Horror / Surreal / Sci Fi the story that led to the next book...

From author and reviewer Michael Brookes: "The book [DEATH OF HEAVEN] starts well and has a Clive Barker, Books of Blood vibe, which really works well. It's in these tales that the author's writing ability shines. He demonstrates a lovely turn of phrase and some of the writing is almost poetic in its beauty."
DEATH OF HEAVEN - epic horror sci fi with standalone stories in it you will understand when you read it. A complex and some have reviewed, a beautifully written book that is hard to describe: Available in print on Amazon
The Conqueror Worm - two 12-year-old boys dig up treasure
Rosebud -beware imposing your mind on your gf
Thirst Divine - terrifying entities from above can be erotic
Harbinger -be good, terrifying entities are watching from above
"Sweet Jane" - be careful who you marry. I wrote this after watching Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians one night back in the 90s when they played on SNL and being inspired.
Marking Time - avoid ghosts in Afghanistan, even if you're special forces. Originally written about my own childhood in the Civil Air Patrol in search and rescue, ported over to adulthood.
Going Home - runaway gets in the wrong car, classic story.
Vaughan’s Theorem - a scary serial murderer story and rather long.
The Mea Culpa Document of London - medieval witch hunter

ALSO other shorts:
EarVu - horror in the lab
Mr. Pakool's Spice - father and 2 young kids in the zombie apocalypse in the back winter woods of Oregon. Originally published in an anthology with other authors.
Expedition of the Arcturus - sci fi on earth's first trans-generational spaceship, originally published in PerihelionSF.com magazine in their second edition ever.. A great hard sci fi mag for free reading.
Xibalba Unleashed - serial murder in a Mayan cave and university campus

Simon’s Beautiful Thought - short sci fi romance I wrote about a guy and his phone's AI, before most or all of the more famous stories like that.

NON FICTION (I have a degree in psychology, thus...)
On Psychology: With Illustration in Psychopathology via Synesthesia and Schizophrenia

Psycho-neurologically Approaching a Field Theory Understanding of Schizophrenia via Research of a Non-normative, Non-pathological Syndrome: Synesthesia, and the need for more information Title Case Recommendation
Unpublished

SO...jump over to Smashwords and look around. Wishing you all the best through this difficult time. But there are options to lose yourself for a time in some great books!

#ebooks #shortstories #smashwords #horror #scifi #sf #novels #free #freebe #freeebook #bookstagram #freebook #ebookgratis #ebooklovers #islamicpost #ebookbestseller #ebookfree #freeebooks #ebookpdf #ebooks #freebie #giveaway #couponcommunity #freestuff

The Murdock Chronicles?

"The Murdock Chronicles"? Yes. To be sure. So what exactly is that? Well? I'll tell you. It has a history, as most things do. I've covered some of this before in previous blogs and publications. But I'll wrap it up here in a new wrapper.

I have created this blog, Murdockinations. I have well over 1,000 blog articles on it since 2010. When I began it, I did two blogs a day, seven days a week, one serious one more humor based. In order to learn and build up my writing catalog and ability to produce to the public to such a degree. It wasn't easy, but it paid off.

I have created on Facebook, "The Murdock Society", for the writings of JZ Murdock and for those of a like mind. I've also created, the faux religion, Purpleism or "The Church of the Pure Purple" as a slam back at all things annoying in the Human Experience. Like, religion in general.

Over the years it had occurred to me more and more that I should take my writings and turn them into films. How does one do that? One learns to write screenplays. One sends screenplays off to be further developed and purchased.

Or, one gets into film production and films those screenplays themself. My orientation since childhood was in film production. I just didn't know it. I thought it was as a writer, which I also believed was unattainable. Authors and filmmakers were "Gods' to me, so lofty were they above me.

I got my first short sci-fi horror story published in 1990. "In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear". It was an homage to PK Dick, to Isaac Asimov. So much so to Mr. Asimov that the title was taken from his first autobiography, "In Memory Yet Green".

When I decided to retire in 2016, I also decided I would switch careers and finally go full time into what I wanted to do. Write and produce films. By "produce" I mean not be a producer per se, but see that films I've written are made in whatever way I could possibly get them made. And the most obvious and in some ways, the easiest way to get a film made, is to simply do it yourself.

I have always been a firm believer in how to go about things in life. I grew up into having a professional attitude and orientation about my actions in life. When I went about learning something I tried to learn that thing and all things associated with it so I would be the most knowledgeable person in the room about it. Whatever it was.

Some years ago I was befriended by local indie horror/comedy director Kelly Wayne Hughes. But let's back up to the 1980s for a second. I was on the set of "Starman" the TV show when they were filming the pilot in Seattle. I got to be on two of their sets, one on Capitol Hill and one later that night in the Seattle Center at the Monorail terminal. I even found my way right next to the camera and director until they were done shooting for the night late into the AM, early morning hours.

The location manager noticed me following them around and took pity on me when I had told him I studied screenwriting a few years before in college but had never been on a set. So he placed me right at the tip of all the action and just left me there. I was pretty overwhelmed at the time. But I learned a lot.

Skip forward years later and I was on the set of a Kelly Hughes film. I got to act as various crew, running sound, doing SFX, pyrotechnics, actor wrangling, even some makeup effects. I got to act in some of Kelly's films, even headlining one.

Why? Because I wanted to see how the practical application of a screenplay went.

In that same vein, I had wanted to be, and studied being, a writer. I was a trained researcher in getting my BA in Psychology. My minor in creative writing in fiction, play, screen, and TV team script writing. Later I worked for five years with a production company as an unpaid in-house screenwriter.

I have tried to write everything I could. I've written nonfiction and been published in computer newspaper-style mags in the 80s. I wrote fiction. Plays, SciFi. Horror. Poetry. I wrote White Papers as a Senior Technical Writer in IT. Isaac had said in his autobiography to become a tech writer if you want to be a sci-fi writer and all the great golden age sci-fi writers had been one. Why? Because it teaches you to write, to disbelieve in "writer's block", to produce on-demand, to turn out quality work on demand, to be succinct, and by definition, functional.

As I said, when I try to learn something, I try to learn things associated with it. And so I have. I also put out audiobooks of some of my writings. I'll be producing more.

Which brings me up to retiring again in 2016. I purchased the film equipment I would need, a video editing workstation and proceeded to consider my future actions. It took a while but between continuing to work with Kelly, to network with other creatives, artists, musicians, filmmakers, actors, and so on, I was building a catalog of skills and the skilled.

Until finally, I shot a small eight-minute long film with Nikolas Hayes as the one and only actor. That became, "The Rapping". Once I got that under my belt, I was emboldened to a bigger project and thus, "Gumdrop, a short horror" was born where I used more actors and some SFX.

That is a prequel I wrote to a short horror story and true crime tale I had published some years go, "Gumdrop City". There is now a trailer to that film  It showed at the Historic Roxy Theater in Bremerton, WA at our Slash Night shorts event we put on with Kelly as founder and showrunner. We are attaching it to our annual Gorst Underground Film Festival. 2020 will be its third annual event.

I am now in post-production with, "Gumdrop, a short horror". A first assembly of the film is completed and I'm working now toward the first draft of it, a first cut.

It was at this point that the concept of, 'The Murdock Chronicles" appeared.

When I made "The Rapping" I created the "Garage Tales" series. I was going to shoot a series of short horror films in my sizeable garage. But that project kept growing bigger and bigger and a fifteen-minute film was turning into a thirty-minute film and longer. it was good, I had some great ideas for SFX. But I canned that and decided to go smaller.

So I came up with the "Attic Tales" series that I would shoot around the attic that house had. And so "The Rapping" was produced. And so that film is the one and only, "Attic Tale" that I produced. Then, I moved to this new location. Here I have a vastly smaller house and yard. But I have a creepy basement. And so, yes, you guessed it, "Basement Tales" was born. So far I have now produced, as I've mentioned, "Gumdrop, a short horror".

But as you may guess, all this got me to thinking about the changes, and in going back to my original considerations, of turning my writings into films, how does this all work together? After all, "The Rapping" was not from my old writings. It was an original I crafted to fit the location. A new work.

What about my old works? My old writings I was going to turn into films? Well, some of those are massive stories. My book, "Death of heaven" is a massive special effects story. There is simply no way I could produce that without millions of dollars.

I also knew I was going to produce more films of new writings. As my skills get better in SFX and VSFX, I would better be able and more cheaply, to produce some of my old writings. "Sarah" perhaps for one, could be doable. Almost doable now. Sarah, is a Twilight Zone-ish story of an old woman with Alzheimer's. But it only begins there.

And so I felt I needed a way to differentiate between my original older stories and my newer stories and films...like, The Rapping.

Thus was born, "The Murdock Chronicles".

"The Rapping", is one of the "Attic Tales" stories/films.

"Gumdrop, a short horror", is one of "The Murdock Chronicles".

And now when you see, if you ever see, one of my films, you will know what exactly is going on and if you are seeing one of my newer, or one of my old stories.

Next up I think we will film that fits into my "Murdock Chronicles". A curious version of my story, "The Mea Culpa Document of London", contained in two versions in my first book, "Anthology of Evil, a collection of my older short stories, and in "Death of heaven".. It is a simple tale about a 12th-century witch hunter. Perhaps the film will be only one actor, talking, telling his disturbing story.

A challenge to make interesting, to be sure. Also, we are looking now at doing the audiobook of my story, "Gumdrop City". Once the film is available, if you want to know what originated the true crime story, you'll be able to read and listen to it, both.

It has been an eventful time. I have learned a lot. For those who wish to get into writing or filmmaking, I can only say, do it! But know that if you really want to do it, separate out the difference between the romantic notion and the solid and more serious desire to accomplish something.

Because anything of worth takes effort. IF he comes easy, you're probably doing it wrong and the result will show in the final product. And others eventually, will indeed tell you. And it will hurt.

So save yourself time and effort and the pain. Don't fall in love with the romance of writing or filmmaking because that will not work well for you. Do, however, allow it to fire your passion, to carry you over to the threshold of accomplishment. Just be aware that writing and filmmaker are hard work. There is much to learn. Learn by doing.

Learn by surrounding yourself with others of a like mind. Others who are better than you. But show them you're willing to do the work and not simply burden them for you being in their presence. Show them what you can give to them and to the community at large if you truly wish to take on the effort, to produce things that readers and viewers, other than only family and friends, will want to experience.

Then, go out and do it. But have a plan. Understand how hard it will be and never stop. When you fail, get back up and dust yourself off and continue to completion. Even if you produce crap, finish it. Then produce better next time. And next time. Know what your commitment is. And stuck with it.

I did. I have. I am. And you can too...

Out Of One's Head...Together - Suspending Belief

On Martin Luther King day, it's amazing where we are today. We need to think outside of the box, to climb ourselves out of this hole we have put ourselves in. A regressive administration, a president who is a pathological liar, a despot, a follower of the teachings of Adolph Hitler, a billionaire who has duped an entire GOP and a minority electorate abusing and managing America. King is turning over in his grave and looking at all of us to fix this. If this were a film, it would be a horror movie. A political thriller with Russian enemies on the side of an America GOP political and economic party.

We can do better. Easily. Moving on....

I have long had the ability to think around what I already know about, without it overly affecting me. More of us should be trained on that as children.

While still knowing what I'm trying to not know, though I clearly know it, I will still react as if I don't know. Though I never knew it would be, it's a handy skillset I picked up as a kid that has served me well and long into adulthood. It's beneficial to use for seeing your side up against another point of view.

It's also been useful in watching films. We've all heard or experienced when watching a film and you find already know what the ending will be. We've all heard people say, "When I watch a film I find way before the ending, that I know what is going to happen." Or, "I know right away where the film is headed."

Yeah, me too. So? Many I hear say that are actually just boasting how smart they are. Some are just genuinely annoyed. But I seldom hear a resolution. Suspend belief. Something not that easy for most of us. Because we think one of two things. Either we can't do it. Or, if we do it, it will dumb us down, make us stupid in practicing "stupidity".

I beg to differ. It's harder than it seems. It does not dull you, but builds mental muscles many simply do not have. Otherwise, it wouldn't be so hard for one to do. The thing is, it has much to do with emotional strength or maturity, then intellectual considerations.

I was that way too many years ago. I was proud and actively tried to solve the move I was watching before the midway point. Until I started college and began to study cinema. My university degree is in psychology. But I also studied cinema, fiction writing, script and screenwriting and also in a team environment. During my first year when I heard the term, "suspending belief", my life changed.

Why?

I was told when you make a film, you do not want to break the audience's suspension of belief and there are more than several ways to do that. Write or produce a bad film. Show the director's hand (or for a writer, show the writer's hand in a story in a book or screenplay. Which is where the term "killing one's children" came from for writers. That is, one must delete not only the bad, but also the excessively good sentences or paragraphs, if it breaks the reader out of the story.

In the film prognostication realm, who's the loser then? You, because you feel you're so smart, you ruin for yourself most of the movies out there? Or me, because I can take that ride and enjoy it, all the way to the end. Unless it's really bad. I'll figure out things on the way but I keep, that is, I maintain my suspension of belief. As long as the filmmaker allows me to.

I work with them to enjoy the film. IF you find you have to consciously suspend belief all through the film, it does indeed ruin the film. But if you can begin with it, maintain it, you may find a new experience from it. It becomes muscle memory. You note when something happens almost subconsciously, and then move on, mostly undeterred, without losing your stride.

One has to be careful. It's like pausing a movie today, which so many of us do, then going to the kitchen, or bathroom, or answering the phone, or whatever. A filmmaker builds your metabolism to a certain point, and changes it on purpose. Manipulating you for your benefit, to experience the film, to be submerged into the story, the characters, the emotions and hopefully, the intelligence of the work. When we break that, we do the filmmaker and ourselves a disservice.

I could go on in depth with the psychophysical considerations here, but I think you get the point.

I cannot, however, avoid gleaning the ending from the middle or sooner, when it's an overall intentional clue. When you're supposed to figure something out, do feel free. For instance, take David Mamet's 1987 film, House of Games, one of my favorite films. I loved that film the first time I saw it and I've seen it several times since. I like Mamet's works overall. Though he's not for everybody, he is still one of our most celebrated writers.

Yes, I try to not think about it all too much in watching a film. But for example, 42:38 minutes into David Mamet's 1997 film, The Spanish Prisoner (Steve Martin), it hit me like a loaded gun. I knew what was going on. That gives you two markers for one. Can you beat my figuring it at by that time in the film? Or is it just when Mamet expected viewers to figure it out? And what exactly was it you figured out? How valuable is that information in the end?

The first of his films I saw was during my college days. I got to study him a bit there in cinema classes. Films like The Postman Always Rings Twice (with Jack Nicholson, Jessica Lange, a remake of the 1946 Lana Turner, John Garfield film from the James M. Cain novel). The Verdict (Paul Newman). I also loved The Untouchables. Some of my favorite films are Mamet's. Like Spartan (Val Kilmer), Ronin (Robert De Niro), and others.

The thing about someone like Mamet is once you do figure it out, you most likely were supposed to. Then, it's all about the ride to the finish. As with The Spanish Prisoner con. You're trapped in believing you know something. You're in on it. To some, this is a disappointment. But not to worry. You're on the ride. Enjoy it.

What I'm referring to in all this is not taking the individual clues in a film or story, and adding them up to the ending before the ending. IF I'm experiencing a high-quality piece of work then, I can feel comfortable and free to apply any potential analytical skills I may possess and have fun running the full circuit, the full power, peddle to the metal, enjoying whatever skills I may have. Part of the fun of detective and espionage films, for instance.

It's been a useful talent as a screenwriter. As a writer in general, really.

Once I started writing fiction regularly, this was during and after college, no one was much interested in reading what I was writing. First time I learned about that. If you play, say guitar, you just say to someone, "hey, how's this sound to you?" And you play a few bars. People say, "No", or "Yeah, that's good."

However, if you're a writer how do you say to someone, "Here, please invest half an hour or day or a week of your time and read this, then tell me what you think and be descriptive." Another difference between music and writing. Someone's critique saying, "I don't like it," or, "I like it", doesn't help much.

And it never happens. Seldom anyway. And if you DO find someone, damn. Keep them happy!

When I was in fifth or sixth grade, I wanted to learn how to play chess.

No one knew how in my family. My older brother did, but he wasn't interested. He had a friend who was a close friend of our family and myself for many years to come. He became another older brother to me. He did take the interest and time in me for some reason. Overall, he was just a nice guy. He's gone now. Another who died too young.

After he taught me chess, I had no one to play with. So I started playing against myself. Yes, I've been asked as an adult at times if I didn't spend much time alone as a child. It's kind of obvious at times. But then, I can also be quite entertaining.

I remember in my parent's living room, playing an album, To Sir With Love, by Lulu, who was a huge star at the time, somewhat off the film of the same name as her album. It starred Sidney Poitier but she was in it and sang the title song. A really emotional scene, of troubled students showing their appreciation for one of the only people, their teacher, who showed then compassion and a path to adulthood and being a decent person. One of the first of those types of films.

It was hard to play chess against myself at first. Frustrating.  But I always rebelled against my frustrations, which is far more useful than giving up or being angry. I realized pretty quickly I had to learn to compartmentalize. I remember asking my friend how one does that. He offered a suggestion, whatever it may have been and I ran with it, took me months to master, but eventually, I got it down.

The frustrating (and comical) thing was, and I noticed this through most of my life playing chess alone, that I kept losing...to myself. I mean, I would take a color, white or black, and play against someone (myself). I didn't want to just beat my opponent, that got old quick. Like gambling for fun and never losing.

I guess, thinking back on it I was simply overcompensating in trying not to cheat by knowing my "opponent's" moves ahead of time. But then I had to do the opposite, not let me "opponent" know what I was thinking. It was a study in schizophrenia. And maybe, considering my background, my family, my mother most in particular, that was extremely helpful for me in my maturing emotional health. Not that it made me more emotionally mature. That's another story, entirely.

I just hadn't expected for the outcome to be, to lose to myself. Ironic, and pretty funny, really. In the end, after years of playing chess alone, I started to play against others. I was turned down for the junior high school chess club. They just didn't want me. I ran into that a lot. My demeanor made people expect me to be dumber than I was.

They forced me to play against their best player to enter the club. Of course, I lost. I remember asking, "But isn't this a club for people who love chess? I love chess and want to learn more." Thanks a lot Michael W.

I went on to play whoever would play me. One time I remember doing something I saw somewhere. I played against three people without looking at the chessboard and won all three games. When I got into the Air Force, I would play my friend Dan in the parachute shop and he always beat me. Even though I thought I should easily be able to beat him. He was an admirable if annoying opponent.

Then one day, I beat him! He tossed the game board, through a fit. I was so demoralized by that. My sense had always been to praise people for beating you at something, an attitude I learned in Karate in grade school. I was so annoyed, I refused to play humans after that, for years. I bought a Tandy Radio Shack tiny portable electronic chessboard for $50 and had that for decades. It wasn't until years later I started again to play against people and eventually, taught it to my children.

Getting back to my point and sorry about all the historical stuff... don't just whine about how smart you are that you always know where a movie is going before it gets there. Because you are just showing people your ego, and missing out on some very great and fun experiences.

IF you find it isn't easy to do, rather than puff up an already over-inflated ego, practice it. Build that skill, build those unused pampered mental and emotional muscles. Because in the end, it will serve you well.

People around you won't be thinking things about you, they'll never say to your face.

And you may find there are a lot more fun films out there than you ever thought possible.

21 Reasons I Like Working For Myself

I've had a variety of jobs. Retails sales from 10th grade nights in high school on and for longer than I wish to remember. There was a time I thought i could never get out of retail sales. then after high school I worked in an insurance company in various departments like shipping and receiving, mailroom, printing, deliveries, etc.

Then years in the USAF. I went in Law Enforcement, got changed because of bad feet in basic training (when inducted I asked if I should remove my socks and the doctor said, "No, not if you want to get in."), went into being a parachute rigger in survival equipment (because I'd been sky diving (as detailed in my true crime screenplay, The Teenage Bodyguard). I just missed out on becoming a flight simulator technician), joined the OSI at end, then got out for college where I eventually graduated.

I'm the one taking the photo

After that some unbelievable jobs both bad and good. Through college and university years I worked at Tacoma Tower...Posters, then Records, then after graduating, Video (in both Tacoma and then moved to Seattle Mercer store...

Tower Posters in Tacoma

So many great stories and friends from there (some no longer with us). Then years in a corporate environment I eventually retired from as a Sr. Tech Writer, and various kinds of IT administration jobs.

Corporate office in 2008 Seattle 

It paid for my kids growing up, for us to live. Then when they moved out and I could do whatever I liked or wanted to do, I kept working and started writing day and night toward retiring.

I just wanted to write and be involved in filmmaking. Something I grew up being fascinated with and really, should have started doing after high school.

So now that I'm doing it, what is so great about it? What are the things I like about working for myself. Obviously there are some down sides. That being said, I also do work as hard as ever but I also may put in more hours day or night or whenever as I feel necessary and wanting to do it.

My home office

Well, I'll give you a look inside:

1. There is no limit to how many hours you have to work or how few. You cannot work more hours than are allowed if you want to. No concerns about allowed overtime or required minimums. And so, my hours are obviously my own.
2. Work is always judged by myself and not a committee of those who do not have even an inkling or any a background in whatever the hell I'm doing.
3. Absolutely no commuting. Unless I want to.
4. No Christmas or New Year's holiday layoffs. In fact, NO layoffs. 
5. Casual Friday is EVERY day. Dress code is what I put on in the morning. If anything.
6. I can go anywhere on the Internet at any time without repercussion or concern from management with no worry about firewall, seeing the principle or being fired. Only maybe, the Federal government. 
7. I get lunch or breaks whenever I want them. NO limit in their time or number. Lunch is when I take it and it's over when (if) I return. 
8. If I ever want a drink or a vape hit...done. I can use any substances I want to aide in creativity, if and whenever I want. NO Drug Testing. In fact, I think I'll have one right now! Which brings us to number 9....
9. I can have as much fun as I want.
10. I can now actually give a damn about what I'm doing 99% of the time. Sometimes even 100% of the time.
11. I feel far more alive now!
12. There is no one to blame but myself. Meaning, when there actually was someone else to blame, you couldn't really point that out. Now there IS no one else to blame and you CAN point it out! Or uh, wait....
13. I can jump between projects at the drop of a hat as energy and creativity dictate, to do whatever I FEEL I NEED to be doing, and when. 
14. There is no "Monday Morning Blues". In fact, there is no "Mondays", or "Fridays" for that matter. My week starts every week, today. Or tomorrow. 
15. I can actually be myself, 100% of the time. On the other hand, I am also the only one who annoys me, or for that matter, who makes me laugh. That last one though I'll admit, can be a bit weird at times.
16. Only I decide the projects. When they start, finish and how good the finished product turned out. 
17. No cubicles! EVERY one gets an office. No one argues about any of that!
18. Great coffee and treats! Always. 
19. No guilt when personal things crop up.
20. Finally...NO corporate BS. No shareholders \ no stockholders \ no management at all to answer to.

Happy Holidays!

On Being Creative and Writing

I've been asked, as have so many other creatives...

"How do you come up with your ideas for things you write?"

Well...I have a thought, I put pen to paper, fingers to keyboard and, produce. I heard an author once say that the difference between hobbyists or amateurs and professional writers is the latter writes down their good ideas for later and they throw away, nothing. Saving it for a future story. Not infrequently it happens at bedtime, so I keep a notepad by my bed. Or I may get up and go to my keyboard and writer it out, dumping it all into a file for later.

I have a file on my laptop and desktop for ideas and another for titles. I have an "ideas" folder in my short story, screenplay and my novel folders.

A spark happens, an idea hits me, the framework for that idea shoots through a tunnel into the future in my mind, in a multi dimensional pathway from concept to fruition. That journey into a new reality begins. As I write, the structure further reveals itself to me. Logic and satiation fill in the cracks and crevices as I experience the story unfolding within and before me.

At some point I hit a juxtaposition, or a void. At that point I have emptied my mental and creative buffers and need to come up with something new. And that I think, is what interests people.

Brian Eno, once of Roxy Music fame and then from his own, studied art for a short time. He and his cohorts were like many others at the time interested in John Cage's book Silence (1961). Music can be art and why cannot one listen to a waterfall or the wind and experience the same euphoria one could get from say, Beethoven? Eno getting involved with Robert Fripp and his with King Crimson were all expansions of previous leanings.

Six Melodies, by John Cage.

I was very into avant garde and experimental music since my childhood in the 1960s, as well as some classical, pop (as a kid) and much rock music. From as far back as I can remember I have been attracted to the unique and unusual and the beautiful. I didn't even hear of the aesthetic of the ugly until the late 1980s and it went against everything I had believed in to that point. Yet, I had loved horror films and books and I did get it on a visceral level.

I bring all this up because of the need and desire for creativity, for uniqueness and the unknown and for the fascinating. It is a quest always for more and beyond.

Concepts like the synthesis of systems and ideas, the dynamic rearrangement of information, the rearrangement of the echoes of one sense upon or in place of another or synesthesitic observations, all organized to be highly pleasurable and\or productive have always fascinated me. And yet again and again I find myself falling back into formal structures.

And so I continue to bide my time, to explore, and to strive for that uniqueness that I hope one day to uncover. And of course, to share.

A good example of this in my catalog of writings is in my latest novella, "The Unwritten" coming out in the sequel to my first book to be titled, Anthology of Evil II. In the novella, I decided initially to take three disparate universes and write about them, then at some point bring them all together in some way. That is all I had to start with.

It was a singular journey that took me two years to finalize. Once I returned to it, my mind having had worked on it in the dark recesses of thought over the period of my putting off writing the last half of the story, had worked much of it out, unbeknownst to me. It flowed out of me onto the page and it somehow all came together.

That is the way of it so very often.

I had studied what creativity is during my university years. I felt crippled, unable to be creative. Until I realized what it is. Creation. The more you have to bring to that creation, the more you learn in life, the more you practice things, the more interesting and useful will be your creations.

My point being, learn your craft. Learn all you can about everything. Try to experience and produce all types of, all forms of whatever your craft is. And then... the creative happens. It will happen.

Bring your creative voice, or vision to us. Because we want to see it.

On My Retirement - The End - Part 1

I wish you all a pleasant Veteran's Day.

UPDATE November 11, 2016 - 2:20PM PST - turned in my equipment at work. Had lunch at Kell's Irish Pub, pint of Guinness, shot of Jamesons 21 year old whiskey, clam chowder and enjoyed it very much.

Took the ferry home on my first and last commute ride from Bremerton to Seattle. Didn't realize I had the radio AND the dash fan on and killed the battery. Ferry worker gave me a quick jump and I zipped off the boat. Got home, trickle charging the battery to condition it happy and having a shot or two of Taliskers. Retirement, is here. Now the hard work begins and as I designate it. I'm a tough taskmaster, too.

UPDATE November 11, 2016 - 8:47AM PST - I am in Seattle. Took the Bremerton ferry over with my car, to drop off my things and retire from my company. Seeing old friends, experiencing nostalgia. So much here has changed since I was in town to work a year ago. Seattle it is said has more boom cranes putting up buildings than any other city in America, even San Francisco. It's noisy, there's a lot of people, many younger people probably in high tech companies. Amazon and Google are right next door. But then Amazon is everywhere it seems, even has entire floors of this building. I have turned in some of my stuff, my monitor, peripherals, my cell phone for being on call. I still have only my laptop and my ID badge which I'll turn in as I leave. Twenty-one years here and so much has changed. I had a family, a wife, two kids when I started here in 1995. I was a tech writer contractor for nine months before being hired on April Fool's Day. Once I leave here today, that is all behind me.


"A new life awaits where you can begin again." Blade Runner film reference. Love that film. I have new adventures. My son's gold mine which he just got the claim on. Video productions with my new equipment. And massive amounts of writing I can finally delve into. All I can say is thanks all and Cheers!


And now, back to reality....



I am crestfallen. But humor will help...some. Trump was voted to be president. America is in disarray. He has damaged us, with more to come. Capitalism will run rampant now. Republicans are in power. I won't say we are doomed, or that some good may come of it, if we don't all die instead. But dark times are ahead of us.

I wrote this blog and the next, part two, last week when I thought Hillary Clinton would win. I voted for Bernie, I voted for Hillary. There was no way Trump, a real sad person for a president, could win. He's Vice President Pence is not a good person either. Both guided by Gods. Trump by money, Pence by a Roman tradition in the Catholic church (maybe the Pope who is awesome most of the time, will have some sway with him).

Please world, wish us luck. Many of us are for America, for the World. Not for capitalism at all costs, not for conservative beliefs, but for progressive beliefs. We want to push the world into a better place, not go back to the defective and delusional 1950s.

Returning to our regularly scheduled programming now, today I start my retirement heading into uncertain and possible miserable times. I will write. I will not be censored. Stay tuned. I will always be honest with you, or you will know if I can not be and I will make it painfully obvious.

Putting aside now for a moment all the dark in our world,..

Cheers! I'm retiring!

I was in the Air Force in the late 1970s. I like to take today off for my years in service, for my friends I knew back then in the service and for the many friends I've lost who have been in the service. So I have today off.

Today is also the day I retire from the general workforce.

I am now sixty-one. How can I be that old? I have stayed mentally young because I have an open mind, I embrace positive change, and I seek truth. I had wanted to retire by fifty but I can't really say that I actually had tried to achieve that. It was more wish fulfillment. Family and life kept me from retiring that young. My own inattention perhaps kept me from it.

In 1995 I had been out of work for months. Fifteen hundred were let go from US West Technologies that January in 1994. But I was kept on, my contact extended for months. Then, I too was out of work. I got a few short contracts, I took on other contract agencies in a desperate attempt to find work, but then things dried up. There were a lot of people out of work that summer who did things just like what I did.

Bills were piled up. Thank God for unemployment as it paid our mortgage. My wife made a little money as a horse trainer but she was stressed out. I was stressed out. Then I got a call about a job but with an $8/hr cut in pay, I turned it down. I had to. Three times over the next couple of weeks they called back about it and I turned it down. Then I got a call from a woman recruiter.

She painted a very pretty picture of a new contract as a Sr. Technical Writer. Suddenly it started to sound real familiar. I stopped her and asked if this was the same job they kept calling me about. There was a hesitation and I knew it was. She then admitted it but talked me into just calling the guy who was the manager hiring and to talk to him.

From that point on as I see it now in hindsight, I was lost. I was hired before I hung up on the phone with her. I called the guy, I went in to see him. I kept hesitating and he finally just said to come in, meet people, look around and then say no if I wanted. So I went in. I accepted the job. I got him to try to raise the pay but they didn't have the money for that. At five and a half months out of work, I talked with my wife about it and ended up taking the job.

Nine months after I started the position, I was hired, on April 1st, 1996. Twenty-one years later, I am now retiring. I have in work there, gone from a subsidiary company, then after being absorbed by the parent company, we then became a part of a four state group.

Originally I had said I would take the job if and only if two things. One, I get my birthday off as I have never, against all odds, ever worked on my birthday. We get one day a year for us and only us and I take it. Although, as my mother was born on my birthday, I have never actually had it all to myself. Which explains much of that mindset.

But, you say, weren't you born on your mother's birthday as you're obviously younger than her?

She had always said that I was God's gift to her on her birthday. A pleasant, sweet motherly like thing to say. My being a smart ass teenager when she first told me this, my response was: I think you should reconsider that because considering I was the gift, perhaps God hated you. She laughed and said, Oh don't say that, you were my bundle of joy."

And at eight pounds, thirteen ounces (the same exact weight my son weighed at birth), it was quite a bundle indeed. When I was born my father called his mother and told her in his confusion that I was thirteen pounds eight ounces and almost gave my grandmother a heart attack.

The other thing I wanted a guarantee on if I took that job was that I would never, ever work for the parents company. This was a thirty person company and I didn't want to work for a big entity. I had recently worked for US West Technologies on a high level development team. It was an amazing opportunity to see corporate workings at such a level. And I never wanted that view point again.

So I took the job. It took me over two years to recouperate from my recently acquired debt in my loss per hour of a sizable sum. But I learned a lot and loved the people I worked with. Then in the last years of the dotcom boom, the manager left along with others. My phone rang so much with calls form headhunters trying to steal me away, I had to stop answering the phone as I couldn't get any work done.

I had wanted to go but my wife was fearful of the months out of work and was looking the current job as a bird in the hand. Others went off, made lots of money, bought hot cars, paid off houses with stock options and so on while I remained.

As each person left, I got their server. I started as a tech writer, but one who could become a webmaster. Then I became by default as other left, the network guy, the DBA, the security guy, the hardware guy, the software guy. I took servers out of the box, physically built them up, installed software, secured them, put them on the network and ran, updated, upgraded, secured them.

At one point I didn't have a manager for eighteen months. I was ordered to see the network assimilated by the corporate group. I was now just part of a team, not what was once a standalone company. Bill Gates stole our president. Paul Allen stole others. We did good work. But the new headquarters in Portland didn't like our little group. We had a bad reputation. Because we did good work. But that's for another time and is part of a previous blog a while back.

I saw that network into the bigger picture. I was derided, ignored, people didn't know me and didn't want me because I was part of a now defunct entity. And yet I continued. Eventually the main money making network in Washington state was part of the overall new network.

The entire company once was hit by a virus and in a teleconference across four states once about it, this being after it was all over, I was derided again. But I was able to point out that of all the parts of the network the only part that was not affected at all was the one I ran. During that time and after I was associated with a group started by our head of computer security. An amazing guy.

I’ve had a secret clearance for nuclear weapons in the Air Force, been involved through the aforementioned company and elsewhere in the past, with cyber security issues and as well being a member from the beginning of our private international Agora, a group started by our head of security for computer security experts and law enforcement, drawing from national and international police forces (Secret Service, NSA, Australian police, Canadian Mounties, etc.).

This was set up by our previous security head in Washington, Kirk Bailey Chief Information Security Officer of UW, whom I worked with in that group for tech setup along with a few others. UW is also one of my alma maters and I worked there for seven and a half years. Worked in the Personnel Office and with the Psychology Department on their Marital Research project and other things.

Over the years in the late 1990s and early 2000s, we were given briefings from people like now the famous Richard Clarke (former National Coordinator for Security, Infrastructure Protection and Counter-terrorism for the United States), the NSA, President’s Committee on the Infrastructure, and so on.

The Agora set up an ad hoc team that built Seattle Police Department’s first cybersecurity unit.

I was a system/network still running that network until we got a new manager. She further restructured things and moved me to another team. A new team of web/internet systems administrators. Finally I would have someone to talk to about my job, about issues and problems.

I am now retiring from that team. I was moved off of it along with many others from other teams in an attempt to build a team of experts on a middle tier team between the initial help you got in calling support, to the engineering teams such as I had been on and am now back on again. That middle level team lasted just over four years.

It is now twenty-one years later from starting at this company. Today is my last day.

The last day working with people I've known for decades. When I delivered the news at the end of our weekly team teleconference, you could hear a pin drop. Then we ended the meeting. I got several congratulations from teammates and one or two, "I'm envious". I will no longer have to deal with corporate issues. No more being, "on call" for problems where a computer could call me any hour day or night for problems.

No more on call. I had my first on call in 1976 in the Air Force for nuclear war. If I got called, we all went to the base, sent of nuclear bombers, and knew that cities were about to be nuked, people melted or disintegrated. Years later I would pull  on call support for medical centers when I worked on the mainframe for two major medical centers in Seattle for their Radiology and Pathology departments.

Then I got his job when I was on call for not cities dying, not people dying, but web sites dying in the middle of the night. People asked me why I was always so calm in this job when I first started it. I could only reply that masses of people wouldn't die, individuals wouldn't die, no one would die, so what's the panic?

Finally, no more on call.

I have for years wanted the luxury of writing at my leisure, or under my self imposed pressure. Of producing artistic things, not technological ones. Of seeking my bliss, not a paycheck. Because working for a company puts you on a fixed income. You do the same things over and over.

Now the sky is the limit. I can turn on a dime. I am the team. My potential now is the sky and beyond, not the corporate boardroom or someone's limited vision. Limited either from lack of vision or corporate restriction. I can delve into art and satiate my desire to follow my passions, my talents, the talents I seem to be best suited for, that have been restrained for so long.

Life now feels...wonderful. Like I can finally breathe, can finally follow my own path. I can post during the day where I want, what I want. I am not restrained by what my fellow workers or executives might see me say online. I can be fully open and honest, restricted by my own good taste and sensibilities.

Retirement. This isn't retirement for me. It is the beginning of actually doing what I've wanted to do, All my life. It is the initiation.

The future is the potential. My energy, my vision, my orientation, my skills, my ability to see, to act upon, to produce...whatever I want.

People complain about retirement. When should it be? Should we raise the age limit. Idiocy. We need to get our economy under control. We need to work toward people retiring younger and younger so they can then turn themselves to what is important to them, what is important to our nation, and humanity. We need to orient them that retirement isn't just vacations, doing nothing, puttering around the garden.

Retirement in that sense is empowerment, self-actualization to do what you can and want to, to seek your true potential outside of the confines of business or government. It should be a point to take risks,

A government should have as focus, empowering it's citizens, raising us as a culture above. It shouldn't just be to maintain, to just keep out heads above water so we don't drown. Days to work per week should be less, hours worked per day should be less. Age to retire should be lowered and lowered until one day you only have to work at all if you want.

However at that point we also need to educated our generations to have a certain orientation at retirement, or in life. To seek passion to produce quality. To seek to better yourself, our nation and the entire human species.

And so I reach for retirement with that all in mind.

I won't be just sitting around on vacation. I have revived my production company.
Stay tuned....