JZ Murdock - an update on my writings and works

I was thinking today that I should put out an update of things I've been working on. I have been feeling pretty good lately, my long covid having backed off, I thought maybe it was nearly gone. My expectation/hope was that it would be gone before, on, or near 2 years since last infection (April 2022).

Then this past week it seemed to come back. It was a miserable week with a couple of days ago being especially so. I'm feeling better yesterday and today. The trouble with long covid is it sticks with you in the beginning, then it comes and goes, less and less over time (hopefully) until you start to falling prey to belief it may be gone, then it comes back, feeling more devesting each time. 

It got me to thinking about what I'd done these past few years. And that's when I thought about an update on things. So here it is.

Several of my books are nominated for various book awards this year. More about that below. Suffering "Long Covid" is one of those book, as you can see from the stamp on the cover for the Eric Hoffer Book Award. Kind of wish they'd sink some of their money into redesigning their webpage. 

I just revised my 2022 non-fiction book detailing both my own personal experiences but also long covid in general, Suffering "Long Covid". My son runs a health food store in another city and it's been selling there well enough that they are going to start paying me when they receive the books from me rather than after sales are made. I updated it with new information from 2023.

Long story this updated revision. I've had a few stumbles, continuing to add to the revision. There are now three versions to be found in the world. Original 2020 version, this year's revised version and this week's Revision 1.1. If you look on the copyright page in the front you'll see which version you're looking at. As of now it's published on Amazon in ebook and hardcopy and the books are on the way to me here and a brick and mortar store. 

It is also now available for the first time as an ebook on Smashwords along with other ebooks of mine there. I'm having some trouble with the epub version there, some error about "Frame" duplication, but it mostly looks good. Waiting on their review to continue working on it.

Nice thing about the ebook version, the research links annotated and supplied are easily clickable. I wish on Amazon the hardcopy purchased also included the ebook version. But that requires a setup on there I'm not willing at this time to accept from Amazon. Feels a bit like a bully move on there part. 

I just noticed my audiobook "The Mea Culpa Document of London" (also, Kindle), was in unpublished mode. I'd used a graphic for the cover I later found was not public domain and immediately pulled it, like two years ago. I noticed that this week, found a replacement graphic and now it's back up for sale. It is a story about an Inquisition Judge and witch hunter's crisis of conscience. I had written it for my university Intro to Fiction class toward my minor (my major is psychology, awareness and reasoning with a concentration in phenomenology). 

That professor (and class) loved my writing and admittedly they were a cut above the rest of the class (save for one other classmate). But he said I needed to write dialog and so sent me to playwriting. From there I got selected for a year long class with seven others to learn team script and screen writing (mostly writing TV shows). An amazing time. One of my two profs for that was a massive brain and loved medieval literature. 

I would hang out in his office when I had time just to learn from him. When I told him about my story about the witch hunter he really got into it and helped me with it. It's deeper than you might think. 

And the story is probably better than my voice acting, but I did my best. The story is in my first published book of short stories, "Anthology of Evil" (I have a sequel out to it now, in volumes one and two) of my newer writings, some previously published and some new). 

My WWI antiwar filmic poem and historical documentary, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero", has been internationally awarded a lot of awards (going on 100) and Official Festival Selection status (also approaching 100).

I'm getting closer to finishing my film companion book for it. 

My short film noir/thriller/horror film, "Gumdrop", a short horror - finished it's journey around the world at film festivals and also won a bunch of awards and official festival selection status. Though nowhere near as many as "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero"!

I realized how much time, effort and money I'd put into my films and I should be doing the same for my books and screenplays. And so I've started on that (again). My true crime biopic screenplay, "The Teenage Bodyguard" has two versions. My original and one that got producer Robert Mitas (my IMDb) interested so that he helped me write another version. Robert works with Michael Douglas on films. We spoke to several directors interested in directing the film, but I came to realize, though the new version was shorter, tighter as a screenplay, it seemed to be leading directors into thinking it was a teen film and not a more mature drama. 

As the original producer in London, who first heard about the project and asked me to write the screenplay and let him see it first, he thought it reminded him of the film, 'The Place Beyond The Pines". And I agreed. Problem was, I sent him the screenplay, he said he'd send it to his readers and, I never heard from him again and he has since disappeared. 

I started sending both off to festivals and screenplay contests. I have seven now for my original version, and three for the rewrite. It's won the Brandenburg International Film Festival, honorable mention at the World Film Carnival - Singapore. David Film Festival (İstanbul), Tabriz Cinema Awards (Azerbaijan), Medusa Film Festival, United States Motion Picture Alliance (California), and the International Film & Script Festival Lotus. Also, Semi-finalist in the Page Turner Feature & TV Pilot GENRE Competition.

As for my books, Suffering "Long Covid", DEATH OF HEAVEN (horror/scifi) and Anthology of Evil II Vol. II The Unwritten have all been nominated for the Eric Hoffer Book Award. I've also submitted the last two, to other festivals. DEATH OF HEAVEN received an Honorable Mention at the Halloween Book Festival. Also another one at the Royal Dragonfly Book Award for science fiction/fantasy. It's submitted to and received reviews from Literary Titan and Reader Views. These book awards run through 2024 and I look forward to see the results. It's past time for DEATH OF HEAVEN to receive some recognition as I believe it's a very good book. And reviews are testifying to that.

While I am hopeful I'm at the end of nearly 2 years of my last bout of long covid, it has has made doing anything these past three years somewhat problematic and at times impossible. For one thing it cycles. You think you're good or it's over and it comes back. Until as with my first bout of it, it's just gone one day. Yay! 

For a while I thought I may never be able to write or produce anything ever again. "Mind fog" sucks. Being lethargic for nearly a year sucked. With the second infection two paramedic visits and hours at the emergency department of our local hospital sucked. Wearing a heart monitor for two weeks sucked. Lots of blood and heart tests and xrays and in the end, 

I seem to have come through it all with no findable damages. In fact, I swear two things are better after it. I can remember things now I couldn't remember well before covid and my physical reactions seem better (if I drop something that would normally end up on the floor, I seem better able to, and often do now, catch it first).

But IN these past few years since acquiring that rather devastating first infection in February 2020 (then again, a worse one in many ways in April 2022), I produced the WWI film (it was mostly done but I had to edit it for 6 months), then send it to film festivals around the world (I was surprised how something I did to help me heal from covid, won so many awards!), I published my first collection of short stories sequel in two new volumes of my writings as mentioned above, then wrote and published my book on long covid, revised this past week with updates for 2023,  and published that.

In thinking I'd done nothing since first contracting covid I thought I'd done nothing. Until I looked back one day to realize how much I had actually done. I would have to say myself, under these conditions it's rather remarkable. Honestly, my first edition of my long covid book had some spelling errors in it, which I've now fixed when my son pointed it out to me. Which led me to updating it, which I've been feeling I should do considering the advances and findings on long covid that have happened, even though I didn't motivation to work on that book again (it's hard writing a book about the worst times of your life where you almost died). 

I was at a standstill on my film companion book. Then when I got motivated to update and correct the long covid book...the info was all accurate in it, I'd just not had good attention to minor details like spelling when deeper into long covid than I am now (and even then, there weren't many spelling errors but I'm meticulous about my edits before publishing)...I found myself ready to get back to the film companion book.

So I'm working on it, looking forward to finishing it also. So I can then move onto my next project which I think may be about my grandfather, my mother's dad, who had traveled the world in the 1940-50s and 6os. 

And...that's my update. Now, go out and be happy, be brilliant and productive!

(I used to tell my kids that when they were leaving the house)

Walkabout Thoughts #64.5

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…

Walkabout Thoughts #64.5

.5?

Yes. Well? Here's the deal.

I had a minor accident. Three weeks ago. I tripped over something that caught my foot. Slammed my ankle into something which it then slipped down on, leading to a blister from a kind of "rug burn". That was doing well until it broke open and got infected. I was taking care of it, but apparently something got into it.

It's pretty bad. I thought I may have broken my leg. Yeah, that bad. I had it looked at for a third time in three weeks yesterday and indeed, it's not broken (finally got x-rays taken), but definitely infected. the wound was cleaned up, antibiotics administered, and next Tuesday I'm seeing a "wound clinic". So, no more 5 mile walks for a bit.

Yeah, that bad. I was told it's superficial though, I won't lose my ankle (oh, gooood). But it needs some serious attention and may take months to finally heal. 

Damn.

First I'll say one political thing today that I'm borrowing from a "Tweet" of mine yesterday, just because this is so aggravating

Considering continuing Republican rogue actions, the Insurrection "Freedom" Caucus in the US House of Reps, illiberal "Republican Party" laws, illiberal "Republican" Gerrymandering, "Republican" coup attempts, an insurrection, ongoing voter suppression, anti-pro-choice crap, electing of all people, life long criminal Donald Trump...only ONE NAME now fits for the once GOP: GOVP. The Grand Old #igilante Party. Because these are ALL Vigilante actions.

Considering how anti-governmental Republicans are, esp., MAGA, hating government, always trying to disable it, defund it, destroy, cripple it, then blame Democrats for it...I'd also settle for the name: "Grand Old Vigilantes". The G.O.V.

There is little more dangerous than a religious leader shunned by his flock, for another. Or a conservative cult divested of their self-infatuated leader. Beware MAGA, once Trump has fallen. For lost, they will need purpose, other repositories for their hate, and ignorance.

Right. OK. Moving on...I'd been using a crutch to walk with (tried a cane but it wasn't enough). Now that it's been cleaned by a medical professional (thing was, it's on my outer left ankle and hard to get close to by myself), antibiotics administered, 2x daily Epsom salt soaking, so it's doing better. Now that I know the leg bone isn't fractured, and with the infection more local to just the wound area, I can walk (limping a bit) without a walking aid.

And that's why there is no "Walkabout Thoughts" lately these past three weeks. I know I'm a bit intermittent on them normally anyway, but this time will be a bit longer... apparently.

I've gotten a lot of work done on my new film companion book on "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" (not a simple book to write), but as the infection got worse, I'd not been in a state of mind where I can maintain writing a book for very long. While the film continues to garner international awards at film festivals. Which is always nice.

In fact, in the past three weeks I had entered two different film festivals, the Tabriz Cinema Awards (İstanbul, turkey) and, the Brandenburg International Film Festival in Germany. I had entered two films, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" and my film noir, "Gumdrop", a short horror, as well as my already award winning screenplay, a true crime biopic, "The Teenage Bodyguard. I won for all three, at both festivals, within a week of one another.

The first win of three was a surprise. The second was a big surprise!

In other good news is, my book "Suffering Long Covid" is selling well at the regional health food chain a few counties over (long story). I just had to send them another shipment of ten as the Covid season approaches.

So, I'll end with that and...that's what's going on. 

Not a lot, but kind of a lot. 

I wish you all great success and health! Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!

Pvt. Ravel's Bolero - an antiwar, filmic poem, historical documentary film

In 2022 I produced a film, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero", based on a poem I wrote of the same name, some years previous. It seems to be a well-received endeavor. To date I've received over 30 international film festival awards.

[9/12/23 update: Pvt. Ravel's Bolero now has 43 international awards!]

You can see it now, free, if you sign up for a free trial subscription on ThrilzTV.com. It's a safe site, you can watch the film free, then unsubscribe. No worry. I built most of the site myself with a few others and we're not trying to cause anyone problems. In January we're shifting into a large endeavor of which ThrilzTV will be a part of, with much more to come. So maybe get in on the beginning?

It's a serious film. But if you're a classical music, or if you're a history buff, especially of WWI, France, trench warfare, Maurice Ravel, Bolero, War...or a variety of other things...do check it out! I didn't get all these awards because it's not worth checking out. This isn't the kind of film that gets a standing ovation. It's about serious issues. But done in a way that is innovative and affecting. 

Documentary, Biography, War, Music, Independent, V (Violence), D (Suggestive Dialogue), 14-Jul-2023

The international multi-award winning, antiwar "filmic poem" and historical documentary, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero". Experience WWI as told through music (played by Ravel), actual documentary footage and a poem that proposes a question:

"What if the composer of Ravel's Bolero, Joseph Maurice Ravel, had not simply been a truck driver in WWI, but had actually been the trenches?" What if he had drawn the French and German enemies lining both sides of their deadly "no man's land", to enter the deadly, horrific space between the soldier's trenches, and played his new song? A ghostly meeting of soldier musicians and the dead...all among the horrors of their shared zone of death which laid horrifically between them.

Forty-Two International Awards, including:

BEST WAR SHORT - Arthouse Festival of Beverly Hills.

BEST DIRECTOR EXPERIMENTAL SHORT FILM, Indiefest Film Awards

BEST SHORT DOCUMENTARY - New Orleans Film Festival.

BEST HUMAN RIGHTS & SOCIAL FILM - RunDoc Film Talent Award, Hong Kong.

BEST DOCUMENTARY FILM - World Film Carnival, Singapore.

DOCUMENTARY-BEST FILM - Grand Jury Prize Bronze Award - Los Angeles Motion Picture Festival.

EXCEPTIONAL MERIT - Docs Without Borders Film Festival.

And over many more...

Cast

Brel Martínez "Adelaide", Ravel's Truck

Jey Martin, Narrator

Joseph Maurice Ravel Pianist/Conductor

Crew

JZ Murdock, Director

3 Amazing WWI Documentaries - JZ Murdock, Peter Jackson, Brian Henry Martin

My WWI documentary is a filmic poem and an antiwar film. I wrote a poem years ago and tried to get it published. I worked on it once in a while, got comment from a professional poet and he said to just keep working on it. And so I did. Until one day I stumbled into the idea of making a documentary, and then a WWI documentary, and then a documentary built around my fanciful poem, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" (trailer). To be clear, the title of this blog is in an order I would suggest to watch these three films and has nothing to do with any lack of knowing the great quality of the other two filmmakers!

I've written about the experience of making this film previously. I am working on a film companion book for this film, which is about half written. It took me six months of editing to finish the documentary with years of research under my belt in acquiring public domain media and information. Something I continued throughout the production of the film. I had for several years intended on turning the poem it is based on into a minimalist animation. But no animator would touch it without more money than I could come up with. The finished film itself I had hope of eventually reproducing it with much better resources. Seeing what Peter Jackson did with his film makes that prospect even more desirable. 

New Poster for ThrilzTV where it can be viewed

"Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" is a film that only came into existence because of having Long Covid acquired from COVID-19, for at least the second time. Having first acquired this miserable disease and first noticing its symptoms on February 9, 2020. I eventually wrote a book about it: "Suffering Long Covid".

What I'm writing about here today, is regarding what happened over this past week. I'm suggesting an order one might watch these films in. Even if you do not (yet) have access to view my film, it will still make it's point if you watch these other two. I'm sure there are many good WWI documentaries out there. But this blog here involves only three. Mine, Peter Jackson's and one from Double-Band Films about photographer/Lance Corporal George . I just finished watching that one.

About "The Man Who Shot the Great War" (2014), from Acorn TV:

"Premiering in North America December 19th. Among the thousands of men from Britain and Ireland who fought on the battlefields of the First World War was Lance Corporal George Hackney, who did something remarkable: he brought his camera with him to war. Described as a "photographic discovery of the century," the images he took captured the brutal realities of the front lines and fueled a moral quest that altered the course of his life." 

The other day I watched Peter Jackson's WWI documentary, "They Shall Not Grow Old" (2018). From Warner Brothers Pictures' Youtube channel:

"The acclaimed documentary is an extraordinary look at the soldiers and events of the Great War, using film footage captured at the time, now presented as the world has never seen. By utilizing state-of-the-art restoration, colorization and 3D technologies, and pulling from 600 hours of BBC archival interviews, Jackson puts forth an intensely gripping, immersive and authentic experience through the eyes and voices of the British soldiers who lived it."

Three films about WWI. The "Great War", the "War to End All Wars".

My film as I said, took me, alone with what small resources I have in filmmaking and editing, took me six months of editing as I was coming out of a rough winter with long covid. My son got me playing a video game on my desktop video editing workstation and I did that for months. Part of an hour the first time until I was playing all day long after a few weeks (months?) and then realized I was not only able to get out of my living room recliner chair I'd spent most of the winter in just watching TV, dozing off and on and not feeling well, but I was actively engaged in this Fall Out 4 game. I'd put 700 hours into it. 

It was time to actually do something. Unable still to be able to handle a production with actors (and a schedule), the idea came to me to make a film of some sort that I could handle doing all by myself, on my schedule, if and when I could, whenever. In considering what to do, I landed upon the project I eventually finished. Twice after months of editing I wanted to quit, give up as it is exacting work of digitally splice media together, AI colorization, multiple layers and tracks and sophisticated audio work in syncing music and sounds and creatively doing Folly work, making sounds that come from one source being made to sound like another. But finally, I finished it.

I sent it to a few festivals and immediately that week got an "Official Selection" from one. Shortly thereafter, the next week, it won an award for "Best Documentary". I entered more festivals. Then it won "Best Experimental Film" at another festival. I entered more and continued winning, not all festivals, but more than I had ever expected. Far more than my previous and narrative film, "Gumdrop", a short horror. Yes, from horror film (really more of a film noir), to the horrors of our perhaps our greatest horror in wars in human history.

As I indicated above, I detail this all elsewhere as I had to hire voice actors and a poet to translate my poem, a center point to the project, for the voice actors to read. At one point I hired a sound engineer to clean up what I could not in digitizing Ravel's "Bolero from an original Polydor double record set from 1930 I bought online from a seller in Paris.

I used some visual media in the film that were never seen before like this because they were not of pristine or perfect quality or focus, all of which played into the "poetic" nature of the film as not just documentary but fantasy and visual poetry. That is important, because it has a lot to do with why I'm writing today about this and the other two documentaries. 

In my film you can notice the French always face and move to the right, which the Germans, their opponents in Verdun, France in this film, always facing and moving toward the enemy, the French, to the left. From the perspective of the French in the film, when they are headed to the right of screen they are moving toward, entering the war. When to the left, they are moving away from, leaving the war. When the visuals are blurry, the poem visuals are referring poetically to the "fog of war" and such metaphorical elements and considerations. 

In moving from my film therefore to Peter Jackson's tour de force of his, "They Shall Not Grow Old", documentary, the effect is intense. With all that Jackson has available to him, the money, the team/teams, the quality of media he could acquire, the legal team for handling all that, and his special effects professionals, what he could produce is truly, as I've said elsewhere... awe inspiring. I'm not here to review his film.

However, Rotten Tomatoes said: 

"An impressive technical achievement with a walloping emotional impact, They Shall Not Grow Old pays brilliant cinematic tribute to the sacrifice of a generation. Read critic reviews"

I was stunned at the amazing quality Peter Jackson turned out in this film. I deeply and intricately know what it takes to do what he did in that film. I'm speechless, to be clear. Watching probably any WWI documentary prior to Jackson's could most likely give you the same effect as seeing my film and then his. But the difference in the quality of experience and visuals, not to mention the high quality level of his Folly work and audio dubbing, are truly inspiring. And that is all outside of the effect of the subject matter itself.

 

On "The Man Who Shot The Great War", Film Affinity said about it:

"Revealing for the first time what has been described as 'the photographic discovery of the century', this documentary uncovers the remarkable story of the Belfast soldier who took his camera to war in 1915 and how his experiences were to have a dramatic and unexpected outcome many years later."

It is a touching film about an amazing find so long after WWI.

Watching these three films in this order, for me anyway, was a very rewarding experience. My film is likely, for most people anyway, a bit of history and imagery you have never seen or known about.That is mixed up with a humanist, antiwar message through the people that runs throughout it and read by a female French actor as Ravel's Truck, whom he had named "Adelaide". 

Ravel's imaginary actions in the film brings the fear and evolution of a trench soldier into sharp focus. the end of the film with its long scrolling list of all wars on earth is a stark reminder of who we are and what our history has been. Evoking the question, why should this continue and how to stop it.

Going then into the Jackson film, the realization of his film is very impactful. It's almost like he went back in time and shot these war moments with a film crew. His ADR (Automated dialogue replacement, voice dubbing), his Foley work (sound effects), and his colorization and visual enhancements are impeccable. It's a moving film, in ways beyond my own film, while a perfect adjunct to it.

Then moving on to the George Hackney film and what it uncovers is touching and amazing in entirely different ways and I highly recommend it. 

These are short films, offering us a bird's eye view, even closer, and in ways no bird and few humans have envisioned. It is a set of films from a time long forgotten, which is repeating itself every decades since. We are changing our ways of war. They are becoming more exactly, civilians are not often "collateral damage" as they used to be. So often today, victims due greatly to specifically targeting them on purpose.

Such as Putin from Russia has so often done in his illegal war in Ukraine. And we are becoming more "green" in war with a realization that every weapon discharged is costing humanity in damage to our environment. And all too often, to civilians years or decades later in unexploded and lost munitions and toxic chemicals.

But the one thing that remains is, the cost to the human psyche, the friends and families of those soldiers and the damages to our world and ongoing blemishes to our history of humanity. 

Cheers! Sláinte!

I wish us all the very best!

Films:

"Pvt. Ravel's Bolero", available exclusively on ThrilzTV.com

"They Shall Not Grow Old" 

"The Man Who Shot the Great War"

Russia Invades Ukraine, Film Festivals & "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero"

My antiwar film, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" has an interesting evolution which I'm detailing in my book of the same or similar name:

“Pvt. Ravel's Bolero - Film Companion Book History, Form & Structure in the Antiwar Filmic Poem & Historical Documentary" I'm hoping to finish it soon. I am this day finishing up the DVD version of the film and it will soon be released exclusively on a streaming service I recently started with two other indie filmmakers called, "ThrilzTV.com". Pop over and sign up for a free month. If you like it, stick around. It's only $4.99/month! And we ARE going to evolve beyond a streaming indie video channel in support of our indie filmmaking community. 

But this is really a story about my submitting my film to film festivals and in particular, a Russian festival. It was in the week's leading up to and including Russia's ludicrous invasion of Ukraine, all due to their sad, ill, despotic leader, Vladimir Putin, a once middling KGB agent, how apparently had a bruised ego.

My history with Russia goes back to my interest in espionage. It began in high school and the Irish "Troubles" (I'm Irish on my dad's side) which I later transferred into curiosity about US/Soviet relations. In studying that, it led me quite obviously and reasonably into UK/Russia relations history for the past 100 years of their involvement with and against one another. 

Britain found it had to teach America about Soviet espionage leading up to WWII, as we were quite ignorant and disbelieving about things London would tell us. SO they painstakingly updated and educated us on what they'd learned about Soviet tactics, and their long term active measures against other countries, and their disinformation techniques.

This led our "Wild" Bill Donovan, head of our OSS fame being questionably (illegally?) involved in the ABC group of America, Britain and Canada. Eventually, after the war the OSS became the CIA. But in studying this history for decades, considering going into the business myself, entering the USAF with a security clearance for nuclear weapons and signing up with the OSI (Office of Special Investigations, their FBI), I learned a lot.

"When the United States entered World War I in 1917, Donovan, then a major, organized and led the famed 1st Battalion of the 69th New York Volunteers (the original “Fighting Irish,” and which, after the unit was federalized, was redesignated the 165th Regiment of the 42nd Division). He was soon promoted to lieutenant colonel, and his unit arrived in France in October 1917, ready for action." - America's Spymaster, from Warfare History

When in the 1990s I noticed Newt Gingrich started using old Soviet KGB disinfo tactics, the GOP had begun its long decline into autocracy. It was frightfully obvious to me in that decade that something untoward was going on with our Republican Party. Full disclosure, I was raised in my mother's liberal, Teamsters Union family. But I had always had a good head for what was right and fair between human beings, since before I was able to speak.

At some point I left the USAF, got a couple of degrees, started a family and realized I not going into that business after all. But I had learned a lot. I decided I had apparently wasted my time for decades assimilating a vast amount of useless knowledge. Then the "Iron Curtain" fell. I abandoned all those thoughts, thinking I had wasted much effort on useless knowledge. 

Until the 1990s played themselves out and I saw oddly similar things happening, not in Russia, but right here at home in America. I had experienced some of the right wing's white Christian nationalism while in the USAF in Spokane, in Eastern Washington, which I felt was more akin to Idaho (or eastern Oregon) where many from the beaten south after the Civil War had fled to. 

More like Idaho (or was Idaho more like eastern Washington?), than the western side of the Cascade Mountains where I had grown up in Tacoma and around Mt. Rainier. One of my degrees is from Western Washington University in Bellingham, near Canada's Vancouver (love it up there!). So when I heard the leader of the "Church of Our White Christian Heritage" up from Georgia spewing hatred in a chapel in he back hills of Idaho one day, about how Vancouver, BC was a "cesspool of humanity", I was shocked. My wife was terrified. A guy on base had invited us, he drove, surprised us in leaving Washington state for church and needless to say, we didn't go back.

When I left the USAF, I read up on these neo-Nazi loving "Christians" and was shocked at what was going on, right here at home in America (Ruby Ridge, Waco, Oklahoma City bombing, and so on). And how Oregon had been home to some very questionable types I won't go into here. 

Needless to say, I retained my fascination with Russia (and let's not forget Ireland, which I visited for my 60 birthday back in 2015). So when Putin took over, I easily realized it couldn't be good for Russia (for earth?), for a KGB agent to take be handed the reins by a predecessor criminal and alcoholic, as leader of a broken State such as the old USSR. Especially considering the agreement was Putin would protect Boris Yeltsin and his family for all his crimes as Russia's leader in having plundered their coffers. Just as Putin has done and now worries about leaving his position. As trapped in power and Russia it trapped under him.

So thoughts of submitting a work of mine (especially an antiwar film) to Russia, to Moscow, carried a lot of baggage for me. Needless to say, it was a somewhat entertaining notion to me. But I had no idea how it would end up, as so much Russian culture does, as involved and bittersweet as it would turn out.

It all started with that email, from Moscow... 

Wednesday, February 17, 2022:
"Hi, I’m representer of Fox International Film Festival. We heard a lot about your great work "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero". We would like to invite you to take part in our festival."

I checked them on FilmFreeway where I usually submit my films through. Their profile page there said their were a Moscow/Rome film festival. First time I ever saw that. Twin cities...with Russia. OK. Cool. Whatever. I have a long history with Russia since it was the Soviet Union (USSR). I had studied their disinformation techniques and history of espionage along with that of the UK and America (and somewhat therefore, Canada, as in the "ABC" secret America, Britain, Canada during and leading up to WWII).

February 18, 2022
I entered my antiwar historical documentary/filmic poem film "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero", to their festival being held in Moscow (with an associated event indicated in Rome).

Tuesday, February 24, 2022
Russia invaded Ukraine.

My film ends, end credits run, then a list of all "Wars on Earth" scrolls on, seemingly forever. The day Russia invaded Ukraine, I added one last war. So when it played in Moscow, that would be seen on the screen. They would have to know that in reviewing the film so to put it on screen would be a conscious decision. I doubted they would play it, or select it. I felt I had quashed my chances at winning an award, or even being selected. 

I really wouldn't blame them. But maybe they would appreciate just seeing it in watching it, judging it, privately as we do as film festival judges. As I've done myself in our Gorst Underground Film Festival, Kelly Hughes and I founded some years ago. It would take some kind of bravery under the dictator Putin to chance that kind of thing. But there are more Russian patriots that one might think. As happens in any country over twenty years under oppression. Would I have done something like that when the sexual predator and criminal Donald Trump was POTUS45 (or POTUS47 for that matter)? Absolutely. But to be fair, it's no where (yet) near the same thing.

Kelly and I, along with Tony Green in Montreal, Canada have started ThrilzTV streaming indie video channel. It's pretty cool. An indie streaming channel by and for indie film types. Utterly no bearing on anything I'm talking about here. I just thought I'd mention it. It's been a lot of work, but it's coming along well, and you will hopefully hear about it more in the future. And not just from me.

I guess I mention that because I mentioned Kelly. So I should mention Tony. And I'm talking about these two films of mine, both of which are now going to be on ThrilzTV, exclusively with "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" to become available on there soon after a lot of promotion and hoopla (hopefully, the hoopla, not the availability as it's GOING to be available there).

Tuesday, February 24, 2022:
"Hi, dear JZ Murdock! Congratulations from FIFF team, as your work was selected to the second part of our December-January 2022 programme. Your work was something special and our jury was really excited watching it! We would like to inform you that in addition to being successful in your chosen categories, our jury has recommended you the following categories in which they think your work can be successful as well:
"Best War Film"
Good luck in the final part of our October-November 2021 programme!
With love, the FIFF team!"

Wow. No kidding? I found that brave of them. A statement perhaps against Putin's Kremlin in general. Especially since the last words of the film seen on screen are: "Putin's Folly" 2022

So I was up for "Best War Film" that Friday, on February 27, 2022. They thought that my film, THAT film... would play in Moscow? Even after Russia had invaded Ukraine? That, was pretty bold. I was having fond feelings for them.

Alas, in the end, I received only Official Selection. But thinking it was played in Moscow after Russia invaded a neighbor for no good reason was reward enough.

Plus, it allowed me to email Symbiotic Film Festival in Kyiv to tell them about this as it played out. I've talked about this before, like when it was happening. I wrote a blog about it.

Thursday, January 13, 2022:

Symbiotic emailed me requesting I submit my film noir, "Gumdrop", a short horror (trailer). 

Monday, February 23, 2022:

FilmFreeway:

Dear JZ,

Congratulations!

Symbiotic Film Festival has updated the Judging Status of your submission "Gumdrop", a short horror to Selected.

"Gumdrop", a short horror

Selected

Project has been selected to be included in festival!"

Wednesday 26, 2022:

Email to Symbiotic Film Festival:

"I'm hoping as we all are that you are all safe.

I just wanted to mention, my film, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero", an anti war film, filmic poem/documentary was just given official selection by Fox International Film Festival in Russia, and they also nominated it as  "Best War Film", which I take as a form of support for Ukraine, if not also a form of dissent against what is going on. 

The world watching and is with you and pushing for ever more to be done to help you.

Slainte! May this all end soon and in your favor!"

I never heard from them again. But it is rewarding to see that they are still listed on FilmFreeway and their website is still up.

I only wish the same could be said for the Fox International Film Festival who had shifted their home reference only to Rome. Their listed website URL from before is not online and their listing on FilmFreeway is now gone:

.

I wish them well and can only hope my own response against their criminal leader Putin's illegal war in Ukraine did not adversely affect or cost them any difficulties. I'm not vain enough to think it had, but under a regime like that, anything is possible. Though I see a reference to them on someone's Twitter posting from last Friday, May 12th, 2023. I can only assume this is the Rome festival location.

What does make me happy is that the Symbiotic Film Festival seems to be alive and well. They are still today listed on FilmFreeway as being in Kyiv and their website and Twitter are up! Though their website is only updated through last year, their FilmFreeway listing indicates July 31, 2023 as their event date for this year's festival.

I wish them all well! Both festivals.

And now "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" will be exclusively on "ThrilzTV.com". It's only 28 minutes long. But it packs a punch. Which explain why it's winning all these awards, I suppose. 

I wish you all well. We'll need it!

Cheers! Sláinte!

June 1, 2023 update:

Since multi award winning "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" is ONE, an antiwar documentary about WWI, I'm not surprised Moscow rejected it here in this festival, since...TWO, the last phrase in the entire film, after a long scrolling list of all wars on earth, is:
"Putin's Folly 2022" for the Ukraine war he instigated.
I so wanted to be impressed by them. But I also understand.
And I should be even more impressed that the Fox International Film Festival in Moscow in Feb. 27, 2022 did play it.
I have one final festival Moscow Film Party coming up, then I'm done there... Notification Date: June 20, 2023

Walkabout Thoughts #21

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…

 

Weather for the day… 41 degrees, broken clouds, sunny, nice cool day for a walkabout

Podcast for the day Pod Save America, "Dicks Seek Pics."

Instagram post for the day

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve gone for a walk. Past couple of days it’s been really hard to write. And I haven’t felt that good since a few days after my last walk (first it was my pneumonia shot, then weather issues). So it occurred to me... I need to walk. I need to get used to going the basement using the elliptical and not let bad weather stop me one way or another as we're into the PNW winter season. So here I am today, and walking feels very good!

So, my “Suffering Long Covid“ book has been out for a month or so. Doing well, well... OK. An actual professional virologist read it, loved it, and tweeted it on Facebook and Twitter  and said they’d post a review on its Amazon page. That made me feel pretty good. She said it was well researched. Nice to have a competent reader comment, not to mention an actual scientist/medical type.

So now I am deep into writing the companion book to my filmic poem / historical documentary “Pvt. Ravel‘s Bolero“. Actually having a good time writing. As I was writing, I was researching the name of the author recorded from his 1916 book on World War 1, "Le Jeu" (1916) Henri Barbusse. Or, “Under Fire: The Story of a Squad“. A popular book at the time. It turns out that random quote I found that I use at the end of my film, right after my list of all "Wars on Earth, I couldn't have chosen a better quote, or a more well related novelist about exactly my topic and a novel oriented exactly as my film is, as far as being antiwar and humanitarian. Which I discovered by reading a page by Prof. Susan R. Grayzel at the University of Mississippi, who is teaching this book. So I contacted her to make her aware of my documentary on WWI, and I’m giving her her note in my book.

Anyway, writing a book about a film on WWI is much easier on the psyche, then actually editing a WWI documentary, or writing a book on long Covid, when you have had it. And still do. Regarding that, I'm at the tail end of long Covid, but it’s really obnoxious. It just won’t just go completely away. I fear it may last another year or year and a half. But hoping for next week.

I haven't heard this called out in a while, but someone being interviewed yesterday called out as reasons for some of our civil unrest,
"Information Overload".
Worldwide, not just in America.
And there may be something to that.
As he put it, in our "Information Age", which some argue we've passed, now living in a post-info age, people are having trouble responding appropriately to info they're faced with.
Some, which they're not actually faced with as it's misinfo, disinfo & propaganda.
First. we need to recognize how some of us are well trained in handling being bombarded with massive amounts of information.
University educated, working for decades in high tech environments, and so on.
Though some of them, too many, also fall down these info rabbit holes of utter nonsense.
Still, too many of us are well...not educated, well enough anyway, to properly handle the vast amounts of info we're deluged with on a daily basis.
Or how to separate gold standard accurate info, from the chaff.
Honestly, I have known some self-admitted, very uneducated people, who handle all this vastly better than some of those very highly educated & trained people, who are completely lost in sheer stupidity.
We don't normally see or recognize this in that way, with all the disparities of education, training & awareness we see among our populations & nations.
Which could explain much of our unrest...over nothing.
QAnon, MAGA, toxic conservativism...even toxic capitalism...spewing lies for profit.
We really need to better educate our humans.
Or at least face this situation straight on, much better.
A hell of a lot better. Critical thinking, thinking outside one's own beliefs or tribe, is a very big problem today.

Man, I put my phone away after transcribing notes and put my gloves on... my fingertips are really cold. 

They’re talking on the podcast about how some conservatives were ranting at them about how these guys in the podcast, tried to rig an election. And they laughed about it because it’s so stupid and nonsensical. But I’ve noticed that about conspiracy types. Generally silly people. They always ascribe far too much functionality to people and a government that they find so severely lacking. You’ll notice that with conspiracies or such nonsense if you look into it. They often do what Trump does in throwing up complaints about both sides of something, cherry picking what and when they say these things. While they may seem to make sense at times, on reflection, or evaluation, you'll notice exactly that about what they say. Confusion. Because all they’re saying are things to spark conflict and outrage. So when you hear a "debate" involving someone like that. And I say "debate" with quotes, because one side is being irrational, leaping around different forms of logic, saying conflicting things,. Then you look at the other side, who isn't doing all that and... it doesn’t matter what the context or the topic is...it’s just obvious who's wrong between them. It’s interesting how that seems to be found mostly on the conservative side, anymore. And there’s more conservatives in things like law-enforcement. Where we find things like evidence tampering and getting somebody into prison, when they can’t prove their case and have to use underhanded means. The same mentality. The, “I am right! Therefore, the ends justifies the means.“ That’s what jihadists say, isn't it? Don’t be those jihadist types in American politics. Or at least please, move where you can live your confused reality where theocrat’s rule and abuse.

The podcast is discussing Biden and the DNC changing up primaries? I agree, things need to be changed, updated. I also agree with them that we need to reevaluate every so often, when things change, just not every 50 years. I mean... the RNC does. They’ve changed things around to benefit themselves, to better guarantee their elections. Regardless of laws whenever they can get away with it, or in extra-political ways, even with extra-legal efforts. Such as voter suppression, gerrymandering...which needs to go away. I’m not like people who want to guarantee they’re in power at all times. All I want is a fair election process. I believe this is a liberal democratic republic. Because it is. And I believe we need a representative government, because that’s what we were based on. That’s what we were founded upon. Not seeing that so much from the Republican party anymore. Who are Americans. So represent them! And not just white people, not just white males. I'm a white male, I have no problem with us representing other than my group. Whatever is FAIR to our COUNTRY. Just do what’s right! Remember "Justice is blind"? That's what it means. Do what is right without an "eye" toward special interests that unbalance the scales.

It’s good that they, so I hear, can address this issue with Donald Trump throwing out our Constitution. In a sense, what he said in his “Truths“ (Truth Social "Tweets"), that he’s already done this,  so it’s not that big a deal. So far as things he's said and done, it does, I mean, when you try to overthrow an election, when you attempt and fail to have a coup... that’s throwing out the constitution. On the other hand, it’s kind of an American "mortal sin". In being just about the worst thing he could ever say, as an American, as a FPOTUS, because this country is founded on and guided by our US Constitution. So how is every Republican and MAGA nutcase not throwing him under several buses and a train? It truly boggles the brain. But there's that conservative selective, cherry picking reality, raising its ugly head again.

It’s a valid point that all of our lawmakers swear to our US Constitution. So they should’ve reacted to Trump's comments, rather viscerally, and from the foundation of their very "souls". Unless they don't have any.

So, as they say, it doesn’t really tell us anything new about Donald Trump. But it tells us volumes about his supporters, Republican leadership, and the rather diminished Republican Party at large.

By the way, in case you haven’t noticed… Trump's rubbing shoulders, literally, with people who are not even wannabe Nazis, but pretty much just are. Kanye, Ye, saying he has a lot of respect for Hitler? Fuck, excuse me?

By the way, Trump is not a constitutionalist. Just in case you haven’t noticed.

In the comment on the podcast just now, someone said that we’re not far away from jars of piss at Mar-a-Lago. That is, a Howard Hughes reference.

As today is December 6, 2022, and the runoff election in Georgia for Warnock v Walker is today, We're all very interested to see what Republican leadership says tomorrow, once this election is over. Because I’m pretty sure Mitch McConnel was biting his tongue, not wanting to pollute any worse what they’ve already polluted, in this particular election with a complete numb nut, dumbass, Som'naBitch in Herschel Walker.

Speaking of which, why are Republicans so enamored with people who have obvious mental health issues? There’s been quite a few of them, too. I can't see them as a serious political party any longer. Other than they get nut cases into office and that affects us. So bizarre. They're more like a joke organized crime mob, who is still restraining from outright violence, but instead, using stochastic terrorism to excrete there...desired results.

The White House said this week that the US Constitution is a document that pulls America together. While the Republican Party through their leaders is using it us to divide us. I’m not sure how much further down the rabbit hole they can go at this point. Because at some point that rabbit hole becomes a chimney stack in the ceiling of their own self made political hell.

The new, unofficial Republican motto given by others and rightfully so, through observation: "We never fail to let you down and then go lower than you ever thought we could go."

As far as conservatives, losing their mind over Elon‘s "Twitter files", about Biden’s people a while back, asking Twitter to take down his son's dick pics… These people really can’t discern the difference between family issues and political issues. Trump's nepotism in bringing his own children INTO the White House to further enrichen their family, is kind of an issue. If Trump's daughter had naked pictures online, then he asked for them to be taken down, that would be a family issue. Just not rocket science. Of course if this were Trump it WOULD have been something (probably) illegal.

I think if we could get rid of sensationalism in politics today, considering Donald Trump and his Republican Party, he'd vanish and they would fall back into being an actual and functional political party again. With no other efforts.

OK, I also agree with the podcast that Elon Musk is professing to be things he’s not. He’s into the free speech thing, until it pops up against his desires. That’s autocracy, in case he doesn’t know. Yes it’s a company and he has controlling shares of it, but it is a publicly traded company, right?

Well, onto home, working on my book, and tonight and the Georgia runoff election. Good luck Sen. Warnock! And Georgia. And America. How we'd NOT want that man in Congress is quite beyond the rational. 

Cheers! Sláinte!

For Memorial Day Weekend 2021 - Pvt. Ravel's Bolero

In thinking of what I wanted to do for Memorial Day this year, I thought of this poem. Allow me to say first and foremost that I am a human being FIRST, then an American (before political party), and finally, a progressively, critical thinking person.

HOW WE SHOULD ALL BE!

[Note: The film has now won some awards and continues to do so, 3/6/2022. The published poem below is different from the one in the film that evolved through the production of the film I'm also working on a new blog article on the history of this film, and a detailed examination of its meaning and format.]

It is a sad Memorial Day this year. A day gravely besmirched by the lack of action by Congressional "leaders" Mitch McConnell and Keven McCarthy in their (that is, Donald Trump's) Republican Party, by voting against a sorely necessary bipartisan investigation into the January 6, 2021 insurrection. Let's face it, the "Trump Insurrection". THIS is an American issue. 

IF Republicans were in charge, IF this were a Democratic issue, IF this had been a Democratic POTUS, not Donald Trump, there'd ALREADY be a commission. There were TEN Benghazi investigations over something that wasn't as Republicans contended and they knew that, as they used it as political fodder, anyway.

When America is attacked, we investigate that attack. It's a "no brainer", really. Making the Republican's views on this, very curious.

So more than usual, this is a Memorial Day we ALL truly need to reflect on. Not just for our fallen heroes in war, but for in those in Congress who refuse to be heroes. Or actual members of our US Congress.

After 10 years of writing over 1400 blogs, I had stopped. I wrote my last blog about the last two books I published in October 2020. I wrote this some years ago and finally included it in the first sequel to my first book, in two volumes as, "Anthology of Evil II Vol. I". The second book is, "Anthology of Evil II Vol. II - The Unwritten".

This is my first blog since then. Wishing you all a reflective but safe and healthy 2021 Memorial Day.

Maurice Ravel, 1912, musician/composer

“The only love affair I have ever had was with music.”

Maurice Ravel

Writing at the time, Ravel recalled: “For a whole week I have been driving days and nights—without lights—on unbelievable roads, often with a load double what my truck should carry. And even so I had to hurry because all this was within range of the guns. Adélaïde and I—Adélaïde is my truck—escaped the shrapnel, but the poor dear couldn’t keep going and after losing her number plate in a danger zone where parking was forbidden, in despair she shed a wheel in a forest, where I did a Robinson Crusoe for 10 days until someone came to rescue me.” 

Maurice Ravel, 1917, Ambulance Driver

Below I have included the music of Ravel's "Bolero", actually conducted by him (it's nearly 17 minutes long). 

Ravel, because of his health, like Ernest Hemingway's even more remarkable experience, was a WWI ambulance driver. 

Here, we find our hero in the trenches...

Note: This poem is the original but it has changed in the filmic poem I am producing.

 Pvt. Ravel’s Bolero

In No Man’s Land, Verdun, France 30 June 1916

JZ Murdock

Moonlit dark...Verdun, France.

War Zone. Theatre of Horrors.

“No Man’s Land” rifts rival trenches.

Fog drifts over cold explorers.

WWI Trenches

Devastation gorging.

Chilled steam rising off fresh corpses.

Viscous drops dripping...in silence,

Dripping into crimson black pools.

Dark shiny, bloody pools.

Mirrors that pepper dark lands that

Glower from a slivered moonlight.

Drawing down dying breath and sight.

WWI in the Trenches

Suddenly, one ascends

One soldier’s Hell seeking amends

In No Man’s Land, gently playing,

Chilled silver flute lilting, singing.

Pvt. Maurice Ravel

Pvt. Ravel misses

His ambulance truck Adélaïde.

Standing fast, one among them all

He shouts: “All Together Now!”

Meanwhile, Hemingway drives

His ambulance in Italy.

For advancing Americans.

Ignorant of Ravel’s own plight.

WWI Ambulance & Drivers

“Papa’s” ambulance hit!

An Austrian mortar fire blast!

Machine gunned: he carries wounded.

While Ravel bravely plays his flute.

Ravel’s song? “Bolero”,

Starting well before it begins.

Nervously, our musician spies,

His uneven enemy’s lines.

Then ever so softly,

A drummer beats his staid rhythm,

Catching up to and surpassing,

His friend waiting, now so relieved.

He plays his flute until,

Another stands near No Man’s Land.

To then follow Ravel’s brave lead,

One more flute in their darkness,

The same sad clothes hang worn,

All uniforms dirty and torn,

Each Bloody, Disgusting and Wet,

They all walk bravely playing on.

Together as one, all

Nervously eyeing enemies,

With their side, hunched in their trenches,

Watching dumb, all incredulous.

Suddenly then, one more!

Slowly standing, instrument high,

Another: “Enemy” soldier!

Approaches their shared No Man’s Land.

He joins in their playing,

Music swelling louder in time,

In tempo, In volume. On “stage”.

Their musical bonding expands.

As their song progresses,

Again and again, another

Intermittently, from both sides,

Plays their song, along with Ravel.

And then, even the dead,

Play the climax, together stand,

This great full orchestra of Men,

Standing among their No Man’s Land.

One soldier aside them,

Walks along his filthy trenches,

Anger brewing, rifle in hand,

Finds, “The Spot”, for his final shot.

Yet still the band plays on,

Till finally they finished strong,

With an echoing crescendo,

Ravel’s ascent and fairest Air.

Then it’s over. And yet…

Fearfully they stop, suspended.

Feeling an old, new thing, again.

Strange among them: Humanity?

Their confidence bursting!

A camaraderie brimming!

Believing for one proud moment,

Human! A Person once again!

Both sides lined the trenches,

Carefully watching, listening,

Slowly, they begin applauding.

One at a time. Two at a time.

Applauding until it is a

Growing cacophony, rising

Above them to its crescendo

Thicker, sweeter, now not Ravel’s.

It is this time though, quite

Not music. As one at a time,

All the players slowly melting

Into the fog, into the ground.

Fading into darkness.

Until only silence remains.

Save one, the one who started it.

For himself, and yet for them all.

Realizing all at once,

He is quite alone and shouldn’t

Have been quite so much enjoying,

Not, quite so much, their reverie.

He too then melts back down,

To disappear. Leaving merely

Silence in the loss of what was.

What could have been. For what might be.

That last soldier rises.

Reappears and clambers over,

The berm back into his own trench.

Enemy...taking careful aim.

His fellows, horrified.

Aiming just where he wants to strike.

Over at, “That dark cold bastard.”

The Enemy. The Other Side.

His Officer leans down.

Slaps him hard in his sallow head

Unsettling such careful aiming,

Fouling so, his sullen black mood.

He misses! Blind Anger!

Turning upon his Officer.

This Officer, this man who eyes

Him deeply back. Intensely so.

Then he looks around him.

All angry red eyes upon HIM.

Carefully, he puts down his gun.

Relinquishing his anger...cold.

Only then do they all,

Return sad about their business.

Shitting, drinking, staring, dying,

sleeping, cooking. Fear, in the dark.

No Man’s Land again lies,

Fallow, silent, wet. Except for

Sounds of still darkly, dripping pools,

Mirroring their reality.

There now is but a stout

Difference. A lightness where the

Sounds and attitudes in both trench.

Lines, lie still, humble in Silence.

For Humanity to

Continue, to cope. Yet again,

To feel alive once more with these

Others, these Brothers. Lifelong Friends.

WWI Soldiers' Graves

Continuing to cope.

Once again, Humanity. Hope!

Ravel’s alternate ending to:

His No Man’s Land, in Verdun, France.

10 November, 1919.

Maurice Ravel, conducting "Bolero" in 1923