Unraveling JZ Murdock: Themes, Style & the Personal Lens of an Award-Winning Storyteller

I've long wondered what my writings say about me, about my orientation, and my work. So I tasked My Reader AI (a valuable resource I'm finding) with two of my books containing many of my short stories both published and previously unpublished, to analyze them and let me know what it thinks. 

For years, people have told me I'm a good writer. I earned well as a senior technical writer, and others said they liked my work over the years. But selling your art is a different challenge. It’s not the ultimate measure of your worth, but it’s certainly rewarding to know people appreciate it. Awards are another measure and carry some weight (not a lot) with those who would purchase your work.

This is an in-depth analysis of my short stories. For analysis of just one of my stories there is, In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear, where there is a two-part blog available on it. 

Now as for recognition (awards/laurels) I've received for my work...

• One Act Plays - 3
• Screenplays - 32
• Films - 60
• Books - 2 - 2024 New York City Big Book Award for Horror (Death of Heaven), 2024 Literary Titan Book Award, and 2 other honorable mentions)

Anyway, here's what the analysis came up with...

How do the recurring themes, stylistic choices, and narrative structures in the author JZ Murdock's works reflect his personal experiences, values, and cultural context and what does that say about him as an award-winning author, screenwriter, and filmmaker?

 

Storyteller JZ Murdock at 'Death of Heaven' Book Signing

JZ Murdock's works (writings, photography, and films - company/streaming) reflect his personal experiences, values, and cultural context through recurring themes of the human experience, psychological exploration, and societal critique. A significant aspect of his writing focuses on our "Human Experience," which is deeply informed by his academic background in Psychology (B.A. Western Washington University). In his works, he examines and shares stories that interpret and reveal the depth of human experiences across various contexts.

However, today's analysis is based on his Anthology of Evil series, first published in 2012, and now includes Anthology of Evil II, Vol. I and Anthology of Evil II, Vol. II: The Unwritten. The Unwritten was originally a story begun on Wattpad and grew into a novella so was intended for the end of Anthology of Evil II, but it grew so large that it became a book of its own. Since it was meant to conclude the sequel, it was then designated as Vol. II of that same sequel. This has been discussed previously in another blog from the year that the two new books were released, in 2020.

These stories often incorporate personal reflections on war and conflict, such as in "Red Rain," (included in Anthology of Evil II Vol. I, it was originally, "Hardened Enlightenment")  which emerged from frustration with the ongoing violence in the world. In that story he reflects on a need for empathy and compassion in addressing the horrors of war, suggesting that, despite America’s extensive history of conflict. There should be a greater honor in seeking peace, rather than being resigned to war as a matter of fact. 

This theme is bolstered by a broader critique of the political and social conditions of the time, illustrating a keen awareness of contemporary issues that resonate with the author's own life experiences, and that of a USAF-SAC veteran in the late 1970s with a secret clearance for working around (literally on top of) nuclear weapons on B-52 bombers.

Stylistically, Murdock employs a blend of allegory, surrealism, and psychological depth, as observed in various works inspired by notable authors such as Philip K. Dick (most famous for his "Blade Runner" story and films), Harlan Ellison (most famous for "A Boy and his Dog" story and film, and his The City on the Edge of Forever script from a 1967, Star Trek episode), and as well, Clive Barker (perhaps most famous for his "Hellraiser" horror series of books and films). In his having corresponded with Mr. Barker when he was living in London, then in later meeting with him at book signings, he was inspired by his groundbreaking writings that Stephen King had once labeled Barker as, "the Future of Horror".

Murdock, first in line at a 1989 Clive Barker Seattle Tower Books store signing once, informed Clive (indicating the long line behind him) that every person there was a Stephen King fan, having heard them all talking in line for a couple of hours leading up to the event. Barker took in all those in line waiting and said, "Well, all are welcome. I'm certainly happy to take on any new fans...of his." And then he grinned, pleased.

The structure of the stories in Murdock's "Evil" series, often reflects a deep introspection and a layering of personal narrative with broader societal commentary. For example, the attempt to write from unique perspectives, such as an alien child, or a protagonist unaware of their circumstances, showcases a playful yet profound exploration of understanding and alienation.

Moreover, the author’s recurring reflections on literary influences indicate a strong connection to foundational ideas in literature, particularly from the genres of science fiction, horror, and fantasy, hinting at a desire to push creative boundaries while paying homage to the past. His acknowledgment of early influences and evolution as a writer demonstrates a persistent engagement with both personal history and a broader cultural fabric, suggesting a commitment to continuous learning and growth within the craft.

The combination of psychological themes, societal critique, and a unique narrative structure reflects the author’s identity as omnitect, or master "world-builder", as an award-winning author, screenwriter, and filmmaker. His work not only entertains but also serves as a vehicle for a deeper understanding of humanity, thereby offering insights into his own values and beliefs shaped by his experiences and cultural background.

The author's stylistic choices exhibit a blend of psychological depth, allegory, and surreal elements that resonate with other notable authors in science fiction and horror. For instance, the author draws inspiration from genre heavyweights like Ray Bradbury, Philip K. Dick, and Clive Barker, reflecting a commitment to both narrative complexity and poetic prose.

Bradbury's influence is particularly evident, as the author admires the beautifully written nature of his stories, such as "Fahrenheit 451", "Something Wicked This Way Comes" and "Dandelion Wine" (and others), books that Murdock has said affected him deeply at an early age. This admiration suggests that the author's prose aims to achieve a similar lyrical quality, intertwining thematic concerns with engaging narrative styles.

In terms of narrative structure, the author employs unique perspectives—such as characters that inhabit alien or unusual situations—to delve into themes of understanding and alienation. This aligns with techniques used by authors like Harlan Ellison, who often explored complex human emotions through unconventional plots. 

The author’s exploration of psychological themes and societal critiques points towards a deeper reflection of human experiences, paralleling the works of both Isaac Asimov (who Murdock pulled the name for his story, In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear from Asimov's first autobiography, In Memory Yet Green) and Barker, who often embeds moral or philosophical questions within their fantastical narratives.

It was from that autobiography of Asimov's that Murdock read about being a technical writer. And so rather inadvertently, in a happy series of events, he became a Senior Technical Writer in some of the Pacific Northwest's highest-end computer technical teams in the 1990s, beginning with working for US West Technologies (an INFORM award recipient in 1994) on some of their most important projects. While he didn't work on the INFORM related project (projects, really) directly, he did work on peripheral projects. On one, he worked alone with their technology evangelist who he has said was "a brilliant guy".

Isaac Asimov, in his memoir I, Asimov, also reflects there on the influence of his military technical writing experience on his science fiction career. He notes, "In a sense, we were all soldiers, in one way or another. We had all been technical writers for the military during World War II, or at least for some branch of the government. We knew about gadgets and machines, and we could make the leap to imagining what machines and gadgets might do in the future."

Asimov further elaborates, "It is no accident that many of the writers of the Golden Age of science fiction, including myself, had been technical writers in the military during World War II. The military trained us in how to write clearly and concisely. The technical writing we did for the military was good training for the science fiction we were to write."

Moreover, Murdock's stylistic choices reflect a desire to push creative boundaries while invoking established literary traditions, demonstrating an acknowledgment of foundational ideas within literary genres. The layering of personal narrative with broader societal commentary showcases a depth that's reminiscent of other award-winning authors who similarly traverse personal and collective experiences within their storytelling.

Overall, while the author's work stands out for its psychological insights and unique narrative approaches, it simultaneously aligns with the ambitions of other notable creators in the same genres, reflecting a shared endeavor to explore and comment on the human condition through innovative and rich storytelling.

The narrative structures employed by the author exhibit both similarities and differences when compared to those used by Harlan Ellison and other contemporary writers in the science fiction and horror genres. One significant aspect is Murdock's use of unique perspectives and characters that inhabit unconventional situations, similar to Ellison's approach to exploring complex human emotions through unusual plots. 

AI rendered book cover for, Jaonny's Apple Tree

For example, the author has experimented with writing from the point of view of an alien child (in Jaonny's Apple Tree, from Anthology of Evil II Vol. I), which reflects a playful and inventive narrative style aimed at conveying the strange nature of experiences. Told from the child's (and an alien's/extraterrestrial's) perspective the prose is childlike and unusual. One publisher rejected it outright, fully misunderstanding the stylistic choices.

Moreover, the author’s commitment to psychological depth and societal critique resonates with the works of Ellison, who often focused on human experiences within broader existential themes. This narrative layering allows both writers to probe deeply into psychological and social issues, providing commentary on the human condition through speculative elements.

In contrast, the author’s narratives also integrate introspective reflections and personal experiences more explicitly than Ellison's typical narrative style, which often leaned toward allegory and surrealism without the same degree of personal exposition. 

Murdock's background in psychology further influences their storytelling, leading to narratives rich in psychological exploration and thematic insight, thus creating a deeper connection to the human experience than some of their contemporaries, who may favor plot-driven structures over character exploration.

Stylistically, the author aims for a lyrical quality akin to that found in works by Ray Bradbury, indicating a blend of narrative complexity and poetic prose that may not always align with the more direct and sometimes stark storytelling seen in Ellison's works. 

Thus the comment of one reviewer for his award-winning book, Death of Heaven: "The book has a 'Books of Blood' vibe... the author's writing ability shines with a lovely turn of phrase that is almost poetic in its beauty." — reviewer Michael Brookes

Also this from Reader Views:

This distinct approach highlights Murdock's engagement with literary tradition while simultaneously innovating upon it, demonstrating respect for established narrative forms and a desire to expand and explore new avenues within his craft.

Overall, Murdock's narrative structures reveal a hybrid of psychological introspection, unique perspectives, and thematic richness that echo but also diverge from contemporary narrative strategies employed by Ellison and similar writers in the science fiction and horror domains. His works reflect an endeavor to examine the human experience while maintaining a distinctive voice that seeks to push creative boundaries. 

Again Reader Views on Death of Heaven:

JZ Murdock's works highlight several distinct characteristics that set his narrative structures apart from those of authors like Harlan Ellison. He employs a hybrid of psychological introspection, unique perspectives, and thematic richness in his storytelling, which creates a distinctive narrative voice that echoes yet diverges from contemporary strategies in science fiction and horror genres.

The societal critiques present in Murdock's work resonate with, as well as challenge, the themes found in the stories of say, Clive Barker and Isaac Asimov. Firstly, the author's exploration of psychological depth and societal issues mirrors the thematic complexity often found in both Barker's and Asimov's writings. 

Clive Barker, for instance, delves into the darker aspects of human nature and the moral ambiguities present within society. His stories frequently explore themes of desire, horror, and the human psyche, presenting characters in situations that force them to confront their deepest fears and ethical dilemmas. Similarly, Murdock embeds psychological themes and critiques of society within their narratives, emphasizing human experiences that reflect both personal and collective struggles.

The author’s writing also aligns with Isaac Asimov’s characteristic focus on societal constructs but approaches these themes through a different lens. Asimov often critiques societal progress through his science fiction works, highlighting the consequences of technology and human behavior on civilization. 

Murdock's on the other hand, infuses personal introspection and emotional resonance into critiques, showcasing a blend of psychological exploration with broader societal commentary. For example, the author's decision to incorporate unique perspectives, like that of an alien child, serves to challenge traditional societal norms and highlight feelings of alienation, similar to the surprising angles often found in Asimov’s narratives.

Moreover, while Barker tends to use surreal and fantastical elements to emphasize horror and societal commentary, the author's stylistic choice of a more lyrical narrative aims for a blend of realism and psychological depth that may not always conform to Barker's more metaphorical approach. This juxtaposition creates a critique that is both grounded in human experience and reflective of deeper societal issues, akin to Asimov's critiques but with a distinctively personal touch.

The societal critiques in the author's work both reflect and challenge those found in the stories of Barker and Asimov by focusing on the psychological and emotional aspects of human experience while exploring complex social themes. This hybrid approach allows the author to navigate traditional literary boundaries, offering fresh perspectives within the speculative fiction landscape.

Murdock's unique approach to societal critiques is prominently illustrated through his exploration of psychological and technological themes, particularly when compared to Asimov's focus on technology and civilization.

One specific example is the author's story Rapture, (included within Anthology of Evil II Vol. I) which presents a futuristic illegal recreational drug that reflects on the complexities of addiction and dependency in a hyper-technological society. The narrative critiques the consequences of technology on personal agency and societal structures, highlighting how advancements can both enhance and diminish human experience. 

This aligns with Asimov’s exploration of technological implications; however, the author's focus transcends mere technological advancement, probing into the emotional and ethical ramifications of such technology on individuals' lives.

Additionally, Murdock incorporates personal perspectives, such as writing from the viewpoint of an alien child, to address societal norms and feelings of alienation. Also seen in his novella, Andrew (currently in-process of being produced as an audiobook), this perspective serves not only as a critique of societal constructs but also opens a dialogue about the nature of belonging in an evolving civilization. Thereby challenging traditional narratives about technology and societal progress that Asimov often presented. It emphasizes the psychological impact of societal structures rather than solely focusing on their functional aspects, thus offering a more introspective critique of civilization.

EarVu Cover art by Marvin Hayes

Moreover, Murdock's emphasis on the consequences of technology is further illustrated through his narrative of "EarVu" technology, which critiques the potential for invasive surveillance and the ethical dilemmas it introduces regarding privacy and human experience. This mirrors Asimov's thematic concerns regarding the impact of technology on society, showcasing the potential dangers of certain advancements while also embedding psychological depth and moral complexity into the narrative.

While both the author and Asimov critique technology's impact on civilization, Murdock distinguishes himself by weaving in profound psychological introspection and emotional narratives that highlight the human experience amidst these technological advancements, thereby creating a distinct critique of society that reflects on personal and collective struggles.

The psychological themes in his work can be seen as both comparable and distinct from those in Clive Barker's stories, particularly regarding character development and moral dilemmas.

Murdock delves deeply into the psychological complexities of his characters, often portraying them in morally ambiguous situations that force them to confront their own fears and traumas. This is reminiscent of Barker's approach, where characters frequently navigate dark motives and confront their inner demons, as seen in his horror narratives that explore the limits of human experience through fantastical and grotesque circumstances.

For instance, Murdock's work portrays significant emotional struggles, such as in the story where a character grapples with the ethical implications of their actions while protecting their children from the "bad guy" (this in Mr. Pakool's Spice - audiobook)  exposing the moral dilemmas faced in desperate situations. 

This mirrors Barker's style, which often places characters in anguish, compelling them to make difficult choices that reveal their true natures. In Barker’s narratives, characters are usually confronted with intense psychological terror that forces them to examine their morals; similarly, the author emphasizes personal introspection amid conflict, which contributes to rich character development.

Moreover, Murdock's incorporation of unique perspectives, such as those from an alien child, or that of the exceptional child (intellectually, socially, or economically) of intellectually exceptional parents, serves to explore themes of alienation and belonging, while also presenting characters who navigate societal expectations and personal ethics in intriguing ways. This element of societal critique through character development adds an additional layer to the psychological themes, which is often a hallmark of Barker's character-driven stories that illuminate the darker aspects of humanity through individual perspective and narrative depth.

In speaking of darker narratives, Murdock's Poor Lord Ritchie's Answer (originally in Anthology of Evil), examines complex themes of alienation and belonging unfold through the characters’ struggles against societal norms and personal dilemmas. This story is surreal, opening with humor, descending into madness, and the macabre, and then pulling into a flashback ending. The narrative intricately depicts Lord Ritchie's tumultuous life, underscoring his connection to death and existential urgency, particularly through poignant scenes with his sister, the Nun.

Her self-sacrifice intertwines their fates in a grim union of love and death, prompting a critique of strained familial bonds and their implications for identity as Ritchie grapples with his mortality, eternity, and the heavy weight of his lineage and responsibilities. 

To further flesh out Lord Ritchie's personality is the prequel story elsewhere, Breaking on Cave Island (in Anthology of Evil II Vol. I), which in detailing one of his younger self's exploits, explains some of his distaste for those known as, "wizards". 

Ritchie is portrayed as a man burdened by historical expectations and personal failure, specifically regarding the loss of the "Crucible Sword", a key symbol of his family's legacy. The term "crucible" is defined as "Forged in the crucible" a metaphor that means something has been strengthened or created through intense pressure and heat. It is similar to the process of shaping metal in a crucible, a ceramic or metal container in which metals or other substances may be melted or subjected to very high temperatures.

However, in this meaning, it refers to a symbol for a family as an object—often a weapon, artifact, or heirloom—in Ritchie's case, the family sword, that represents the lineage, trials, and legacy of a family or ruling house. The term “crucible” suggests a transformative or testing experience, meaning the item has either endured great trials or has been central to pivotal moments in the family's history. So to lose such an object would mean great dishonor, greatly reflecting on one's character.

Ritchie's introspective journey reflects a broader examination of human desires and the challenges faced by those considered exceptional or noble. The character's internal conflict mirrors the societal pressures that clash with personal ethics, revealing struggles common across different societal strata. 

Some of this is revealed through a humorous perspective in the initial scene in the public house, where Ritchie is sodden drunk, perhaps unwisely, as a noble among unknown (and far less well-off) commoners. Additionally, the narrative captures Ritchie's physical and emotional detachment as he contemplates his regretful past. 

His state signifies a disconnection not only from his family but also from life itself, echoing the sentiment of a child facing isolation when societal expectations do not align with personal realities. This aspect of alienation is steeped in sorrow and urgency, showcasing Ritchie's internal struggle amid the weight of familial dynamics. As we later find, even his romantic experiences are of a shadowy nature.

The third scene emphasizes Lord Ritchie's detachment through his encounter with his sister, where the narrative shifts from one type of surreal moment into another. This scene explores death's visceral impacts and the consequences of their familial ties, as Ritchie confronts his mortality through a disturbing act that blurs the lines between love and death. The horror and tragedy of this unholy act bind their fates in a grotesque manner, illustrating Ritchie's detachment from reality as he replaces human connection with a macabre bond.

Ultimately, this moment not only acts as a plot device but also provokes reflections on love's complexities intertwined with moral degradation, expanding the narrative into surreal territory. The emotional weight carried by Ritchie’s actions is amplified by the grim atmosphere, opening a window into deeper psychological themes of humanity's darker aspects and the ethical challenges surrounding identity amid familial expectations. 

This exploration positions Murdock’s work as a significant commentary on belonging and the struggles of individual identity within the confines of societal and familial pressures. 

Ultimately, while both the author and Barker engage with psychological themes and moral dilemmas, the author’s focus seems to lean more towards emotional resonance and a juxtaposition of personal and societal conflict, which enriches character development in different ways than Barker's often surreal and explicitly grotesque explorations of the human psyche.

Murdock's critique of surveillance technology through the lens of his EarVu story, presents a profound exploration of privacy concerns and ethical implications, paralleling and diverging from Isaac Asimov's treatment of similar themes in his stories while distracting with a slowly building, bizarre mystery and discovery.

In the context of EarVu, the author raises disturbing questions about the potential for invasive surveillance technology. This technology not only allows the retrieval of audio from recorded media but suggests a future where nearly everything within the range of any recording device might be made visible, regardless of direct accessibility to those sounds. The implications of this capability present a chilling perspective on privacy, positing that our inner secrets could be observed years, decades, or even centuries after their recording, potentially leading to damning outcomes and overarching ethical dilemmas. 

The commentary on how technology might one day enable intrusive observations resonates with contemporary anxiety over surveillance, making it a pertinent critique of the direction in which society’s technology is evolving. Just as people today share their DNA with companies to uncover insights about health, personality, and ancestry, future advancements could expose entire family lines to public scrutiny or enable even darker governmental or corporate abuses.

In contrast, Asimov often approached similar themes with a focus on the broader societal and functional implications of technology. His stories frequently delve into how advancements in technology, such as robots and computers, affect civilization’s structure and ethical boundaries, often evoking a sense of moral responsibility in handling these developments. Asimov’s narratives typically embody a more rational discourse on technology, where moral dilemmas arise in the context of public welfare and the ongoing struggle to maintain human values in the face of progress. It could be conjectured that while Asimov covered the macro, Murdock delves into the micro, or more personal.

While both the author and Asimov deal with the repercussions of technological advancements, the author’s emphasis in EarVu on the intimate and intrusive nature of surveillance technology invites a more personal reflection on the loss of privacy, which can lead to a sense of paranoia and discomfort within individuals. This perspective contrasts with Asimov's methodologies, which tend to explore foundational ethical principles regarding technology’s role in society at large, rather than a primarily personal level.

Murdock critiques surveillance technology in EarVu by highlighting urgent ethical concerns and the unsettling aspects of privacy invasion, leading to introspective reflections on human behavior and societal norms. Asimov’s treatment of similar themes, while also concerned with the ethical dimensions of technology, typically addresses societal implications and broader governance issues, creating a distinction in the focus of their respective critiques.

The personal reflections on privacy in EarVu serve to deepen readers' understanding of contemporary surveillance practices by highlighting the unsettling implications of advanced recording technologies. The author emphasizes the potential for individuals' private actions and words to be observed and analyzed long after they occur, raising substantial concerns about the erosion of personal privacy in an increasingly monitored world. The narrative suggests that what seems private today may become public knowledge in the future, leading to a permanent record of personal secrets that could be accessed at any time.

This theme resonates with current societal anxieties about surveillance technologies and the pervasive nature of data collection in modern life. As the text points out, with the capabilities of EarVu, it might become possible to "view everything within a wide range of any recording device," highlighting the existential threat to privacy that such advancements pose. 

The message of EarVu ends with the beginning leaving the reader (or listener) to wonder, "Has anything changed?" It requires a reflection back to the beginning for comparison (either mentally, or actually) of the ending with the beginning, to tell if any change has actually occurred. It is a subtle exposition that many may well miss, entirely.

This portrayal aligns with growing fears around surveillance, where the line between public and private life becomes increasingly blurred. The commentary on the "desire for privacy" transforming into a "thing of the past" reflects broader cultural shifts, suggesting that individuals' expectations of personal space and confidentiality are being undermined by technology. As well as, directly and indirectly, by the Law.

Furthermore, the author's personal reflections evoke a sense of discomfort and even paranoia, While he has professed not personally feeling paranoid about all this, he does find it necessary to keep raising awareness about it, prompting readers to reassess their interactions with technology and its inherent risks. Much like Asimov and Ellison in their inimitable ways.

Some of this awareness may well come from his work in a cybersecurity group in the late 1990s and early 2000s bringing together government with high-tech business to Seattle, Washington, with visitors from both domestic technology companies and law enforcement, and those as well as from Canada, and as far away as Australia. Regular briefings from the US government (NSA, Presidents Commission on the Infrastructure, etc.), and tech industry were common. This added to Secret level briefings he had received a decade or so earlier in the USAF.

This included briefings from the "President's Commission on the Infrastructure", formally known as the President's Commission on Critical Infrastructure Protection (PCCIP), established by President Clinton in July 1996 to assess vulnerabilities in the nation's critical infrastructure and recommend strategies to protect them from physical and cyber threats; its primary focus was on developing a comprehensive national policy for infrastructure protection.

Going back to EarVu, needless to say, the remark in the story, “How many crimes have been caught unawares on these tapes,” encourages us to consider the unintended consequences of recording technology and to question how our digital footprints might be interpreted.

For instance, imagine an audio recording capturing a married couple sharing an intimate encounter, even though both are married, to others. Similarly, picture hearing audio from an old tape of someone singing a cheerful tune while, unbeknownst to listeners, they are committing a grisly act—such as dismembering a body to add to their list of serial murders. That is the potential of the EarVu technology which makes it understandable who and why others may be interested in it. What technologies will we be faced with with a similar extension of previously believed to be of a relatively benign nature?

By presenting surveillance in such personal and unsettling scenarios, the author effectively engages readers with the ethical dilemmas posed by modern technology, urging them to critically evaluate the implications for privacy in an era of ubiquitous monitoring. Yet the story actually takes an entirely different direction. A technique that can lead one off of the primary concern to ruminate on the more immediate threat in the story, until later when you consciously or unconsciously consider the real threat facing you.

Ultimately, the reflections on privacy in EarVu underscore the significant transformations in societal norms regarding monitoring and personal freedoms, likely influencing readers to contemplate the balance between technological progress and the preservation of personal privacy in their lives.

JZ Murdock is a distinguished author, screenwriter, and filmmaker whose works showcase a profound engagement with the human experience through psychological exploration and societal critique. His narratives embody a rich tapestry of themes, reflecting deeply on the complexities of human emotions and the ethical dilemmas faced in contemporary society. 

Drawing heavily on his academic background in psychology and phenomenology from his studies and degree from Western Washington University, the author seeks to illuminate the intricacies of human behavior and existential questions through his storytelling, often infusing personal reflections and societal commentary into his plots.

While the author’s writing evokes many notable authors, the stylistic choices reflect a blend of influences from Ray Bradbury, Philip K. Dick, Isaac Asimov, and Clive Barker. Bradbury’s lyrical quality in storytelling is particularly admired by the author (much as with Barker), aiming to achieve a similar narrative complexity and poetic prose as seen in works like Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451.

Similarly, there is a connection to Harlan Ellison, whose approach involves exploring complex human emotions through unconventional plots, which resonates with the author's use of unique perspectives, such as writing from the viewpoint of a child, alien either in having not being born on earth, or through other more localized issues.

Moreover, the psychological explorations and societal critiques in the author’s work parallel the thematic complexities found in the writings of not just Clive Barker and Isaac Asimov, but also suggest a broader engagement with the literary community and its exploration of human experience. The narrative structures used by the author illustrate a hybrid of introspective and psychological depth that distinguishes their work while still connecting with the traditions established by these influential figures.

Overall, through these varied influences, the author's writing embodies a rich tapestry of narrative techniques and thematic inquiries that reflect a broader literary tradition while charting its unique course.

However, the author's writings also evoke several other authors not previously mentioned in this consideration. One potential influence is Edgar Allan Poe, known for his psychological exploration and dark themes, which might parallel some of the author's stylistic choices that focus on psychological depth and societal critiques. 

Murdock first learned of Poe as many in the 1960s had, through old American International Pictures, by Roger Corman with notables like Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, and others. Eventually finding the writings of Poe, Lovecraft, and others, he had gone from stating his readings with science fiction, moving into horror, then fantasy, on to science fact studies, then back to the beginning. A form of literary obsession he seemed to repeat throughout his life.

Indeed, Poe was a seminal author for Murdock when he was young, as well as the others mentioned. And many others such as Heinlein, Robert E. Howard, Anne McCaffery, and many others. Then in the early 1980s, he found Margaret Attwood (The Handmaid's Tale) when a play and screenwriting professor at university turned him onto her saying, "There's a housewife in Canada who writes short stories that will rip your head off." That sounded intriguing. 

Additionally, Stephen King should be considered due to his exploration of the darker aspects of human nature. An area that resonates with the thematic concerns found in the author's narratives, particularly regarding the moral ambiguities present in society. King seemed ubiquitous throughout most of Murdock's life as it was with many readers and viewers, going back to The Shining, both film and book, which cemented Stanley Kubrick in Murdock's mind as a favored auteur, if not already for his 2001: A Space Oddysey film. That led him to study Kubrick's films at university, as well as Hitchcock, and as well, Woody Allen (who led him to Ingmar Bergman, though he had already learned to love the auteurs of the 1950s/60s like Francois Truffaut and his cohorts).

George Orwell’s insights into societal constructs and moral dilemmas may also emerge as an inspiration, as Murdock read his Nineteen Eighty-Four book at a young age (and Animal Farm), especially in the context of critiques about civilization and human behavior that the author navigates within their own works.

These additional authors contribute further layers to the rich tapestry of influences reflected in the author’s writing, indicating a broad engagement with notable literary traditions while fostering their unique narrative voice.

Central to Murdock's narratives is a critical reflection on moral complexities and societal constructs. His storytelling engages with significant issues like the potential consequences of technological progress and moral dilemmas, highlighting the spectrum of human experience amid societal challenges. Moreover, his commitment to addressing contemporary issues, such as the horrors of war, showcases an awareness that resonates with his own life experiences, expressing a desire for empathy and compassion in confronting these realities.

Ultimately, JZ Murdock's works exemplify his identity as an award-winning author who is not only focused on entertaining but also on catalyzing a deeper understanding of humanity. By melding personal and collective struggles within intricate narratives, he demonstrates a dedication to pushing creative boundaries while honoring established literary traditions, solidifying his place within the realms of science fiction and horror. 

Through his explorations, JZ Murdock invites readers to engage with profound questions about the human condition, making his contributions to literature both significant and transformative.

As UK reviewer Lynn Worton once said in her review of his book, Death of Heaven:

"JZ Murdock has written a horror story that completely had me transfixed! I'm intrigued as to what he is working on next!"

Compiled with aid of My Reader AI

Film Production 101 - "Gumdrop", a short horror

My new film, "Gumdrop", a short horror, is finished! In the can! We began on this film back in the Spring of 2019. We shot through the summer and I started post-production early las Fall. As of March 5, 2020, after speaking with the film score composer, Andrea Fioravanti of the Italian band, Postvorta, we agreed... the film is ready to be locked and distributed. That begins with the film being submitted to film festivals. Which I have now started doing.

This past week I began researching film festivals to submit to. I had previously submitted my last film, "The Rapping" to film festivals. My first time doing that. It won the Weekly Online Film Festival, and was shown at New York's, Midnight Film Festival. Now pieces of it have ended up in this current film as a kind of background in what was a rather challenging audio flashback scene.

This past Saturday night was our monthly Slash Night horror film event at the Historic Roxy Theater in Bremerton, Washington. I was talking to the event founder Kelly Hughes (also founded the Gorst Underground Film Festival, September will be the third annual and now a three-day event). I've been helping Kelly on his films over the past few years and now on the GUFF and these Slash Night events.

We started the monthly Slash Night events to support the annual GUFF. But also to build a community of local filmmakers. To bring us all together. To educate ourselves together and to build a sense of cooperation and support. And it is working. The Darkow film crew is working with Kelly on a new short film project we are filming at the Roxy Theater. I'm helping with that, too.

Kelly saw my first assembly draft cut of "Gumdrop". I had inadvertently called it a first rough cut. He and our friend and cartoonist, Pat Moriarity, had come to my house in Bremerton to watch it. Both of them live just across the bay in Port Orchard.

They had some positive and negative things to say about the film at that point. I was a little surprised by their reaction. To be fair, Pat said he's not really a fan of horror movies, but he has taught storyboarding in college and as that professor's eye that is always positive and productive for students. But they both had some very valuable critiques.

I mention this viewing because that week after they saw my film, I researched some things and came to realize, I had not shown them my first draft cut of the film, but the first assembly cut. To vastly different things. And so they judged it upon that mistaken understanding. My fault, not theirs. I should have said they were watching the first assembly, or assembly cut,  not a first rough cut.

The first assembly, or assembly cut, is the editor's first cut of the entire movie. The editor strings together all of the usable footage and organizes it into a chronological sequence that corresponds with the film's script.

The assembly cut is also the first draft of the movie edit in which the director has the opportunity to see the movie for the first time. In filmmaking, the rough cut is the second of three stages of offline editing. The term originates from the early days of filmmaking when film stock was physically cut and reassembled, but is still used to describe projects that are recorded and edited digitally. - Wikipedia 

I also mention all this because, at this past weekend's Slash Night, Kelly said he saw just a bit of my submission to our GUFF on FilmFreeway.com and he was very impressed with how much it changed from that first viewing he got many months ago. Since he last saw it with Pat, I have done fifty-four drafts of the film and added the film score and songs.

On that... I was very lucky to acquire musician Andrea Fioravanti from the awesome Italian band, Postvorta. No, really. Check them out! I laid down his soundtrack, we talked, he sent me another, I laid that down, I began to edit in the late stages of the film with the soundtrack in place and altered things accordingly and the film only got better.

It's hard to know what it takes to produce a film without doing it. In doing all stages of the film build process you really get a close-up view through painful and tedious work. 

I am not bragging, but this is the process one goes through. Of course on a bigger production where you have even one crew member, there are people to do these various things, all of which the director and producer may be intimately involved in throughout the process. 

I wrote the screenplay last Spring of 2019. It is based upon one of my older short stories, "Gumdrop City" and is a prequel to that story and an origin story of that main character. That story is a true crime story that I fictionalized and published in "Anthology of Evil", a collection of my first short horror stories.

It contains my first published work of science fiction, a short horror story ("In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear") and, my first novelette ("Andrew"). Andrew was eventually grown, along with another single page short story ("Perception") into my massive epic horror sci-fi book, "Death of heaven". 

I also later published "Gumdrop City" as a standalone ebook. Not yet as an audiobook, though I have a few. I first heard about this story at university in an abnormal psychology class. It was so disturbing I decided to write a short story to share that story with the world. OK then. Marketing crap out of the way, back to our story...

After finishing the screenplay, I chose and gathered the actors among friends, and actors, who I had worked with on Kelly's film projects in the past, and handed out the roles. We began principal photography where I was cameraman, sound tech, lighting tech/grip, cinematographer, craft services (food/drink for the actors and non-existent crewmembers), essentially, the crew.

Now let me mention something here. I've seen low budget, indie films where at the end you see in the credits:

• Directed by: Alan Smithee
• Edited by: Alan Smithee
• Produced by: Alan Smithee
• Cinematographer: Alan Smithee
• Soundtrack by: Alan Smithee
• Lighting by: Alan Smithee
• Written by: Alan Smithee
• Screenplay by: Alan Smithee
• Childhood horrors by: Alan Smithee

Look. Do NOT do that! In my film "Gumdrop", at the end it simply says:

A

JZ Murdock

Film

Or something like that. But, nice, brief, clean. Simple! Like me. OK? Don't purge the needs of your ego at that point. We get it. You're the MASTER. Well? You're probably not. Even the greatest of filmmakers are always learning.

Oh, by the way. Who's Alan Smithee? Surely, inquiring minds want to know. Well, too bad, this isn't about HIM!

Oh, and... THAT'S one of the thing I love about filmmaking.  So humble is good. And as my brother, seven years my senior once told me when I was in junior high, self-deprecating humor is good. If a bully picks on you, cuts you down..."Cut your self down first... more. But be funny. It robs bullies of their power and may turn them to your benefit."

Good advice. No. As it turned out? Great advice! Really great advice. It saved me from so many ass beatings, I lost count. And, made me many new friends. So thanks for that, Jon!

Anyway, as I had been saying earlier before my ADD lost track, got unfocused tangent (a woman once called me, "Mr. Tangent! But, that's a good thing!" She said. Okayyy, uh, thanks?) ...luckily for all of us, I was not an actor. Though when one actor dropped out playing a voiceover role on the day of the recording, I jumped in to sit opposite professional actor, Jennifer True for the audio flashback scene of the Sampson's character's child role and step-mother, and I played the visitor, Koloman.

We began shooting the film on set throughout the Summer of 2019. After that was over I began the editing post-production process in Fall of that year and finished, less than a week ago as I write this. 

The editing process is a beast. You have to select the shots to use out of all the raw video shot. That is when you discover if you actually have all the shots you needed. Or if any of the shots or audio aren't up to par. You notice continuity errors and issues and try to fix them in post. You have to match up the digitally recorded audio to the video. 

I also use an external mic on my camera (a Canon 80D DSLR) as an audio backup and it's paid off big time. Nothing worse than finding somehow the DR wasn't turned on or that the mic picked up the dialog in a weird fashion, or some other issue of placement or technical manufacture (such as having the audio pick up turned up too high, clipping the loudness end of the audio spectrum). 

What gave me the most trouble was the audio. As I inferred above, you always run into problems and you do your best to fix them in post, or you reshoot or re-record in ADR. 

"ADR (Automated Dialog Replacement) in film is the process of re-recording audio in a more controlled and quieter setting, usually in a studio. It involves the re-recording of dialogue by the original actor after filming as a way to improve audio quality or reflect dialogue changes."

I had Tom Remick, the lead actor in the role of Sampson, come back and do a brief ADR for a scene of Sampson, in the beginning, looking at a plant. All he had to say was, "My poor little friend." I think there was one other short sentence but I don't remember just now what it was. I then had to match that up to him speaking the words on screen so it looks like he said that. Which means you have to match the cadence up in recording it, or perhaps speed it up or slow it down slightly in post. 

It's not for the faint of heart. Not for the tech doing the audio replacement, or for the actor. I have a lot more respect now for actors who come back to do ADR to themselves on screen. It's tedious, it's difficult and professionals earn their keep. As it is, what we did turn out well. But I'd prefer to avoid it in the future, though at times, it can be impossible to avoid. The more money involved in the production, the more important and necessary it can be. 

There are also issues of sound levels, compression, and separating out the audio of tracks for dialog, soundtrack, music, and sound effects. You have to hear the dialog over all other sounds, or not. It's a decision of the audience understanding the scene and story. When there is too much bass in the music, you have to lower it to understand the dialog, or add treble to the dialog. 

The video is similar. You have to control the color, the white light "temperature" (which hopefully you did on set using real or artificial lighting and camera controls. Matching up the video clips so there is a smooth transition. Shot and scene transitions have to be managed. Special audio and video effects have to be built, acquired and manipulated. Do you give sound to everything you see on screen, or not? Whatever supports the scene and story, of course. 

Do you use real sounds or fake? Foley sounds made up and applied. IF you use the sound of someone walking or being stabbed, it may not sound at all like the action. So you use shoes on a wood floor or stab a head of lettuce, or whatever makes the scene sound real. But you can't overdo it. 

Movie magic, I like to say. Make it seem real to the audience watching the film. And sometimes you go overboard, and it works! Sometimes it fails miserably. It's an artistic choice much of the time and requires a consideration of the format of the film, the story being told the orientation of the filmmaker and other elements. Which is why we take classes, read books, watch videos and best of all, learn from and work with filmmakers who are better and more educated than you are. The best you can access.

Once the film is "locked", the distribution begins. Actually, wise words are that it should begin, whenever possible, before you initially put pen to paper. But for many low budget, indie filmmakers, it's not so much an option and you're left with submitting to film festivals once the film is ready to go out. 

And that, is a whole other blog. 

I started taking a look at film festivals about a month ago, ramping up until the end of post-production. As of this time, I have submitted to about ten festivals around the world. Mostly good, solid local ones. So far one big on, the Austin Film Festival. Some international ones, I have two in Ireland (I'm half Irish born in Tacoma, Washington, and visited there for my birthday in 2015). I've been to Cork and Dublin, so I submitted to a film festival in each town. 

Andrea, our soundtrack composer lives in Italy. So I found a festival about two and a half hours from where he lives. He may not make it, the film may not get accepted, but at least I made the effort so that if he wished to, the film might get accepted and he could have the opportunity to show up and enjoy some of the attention I may get to receive. It's really only right to do it.

Festivals I've submitted to, after reviewing top ten lists of best festivals for in my case, indie horror films to submit to, and reviewing the festivals I came up with. Some of these gave me a waiver so no entry fee! I just asked. One even said to ask them if you are a local filmmaker. I got waivers in the Crypticon. Some of these I've entered before with "The Rapping". 

• TMFF - The Monthly Film Festival
• Gorst Underground Film Festival (my festival I judge with Kelly Hughes who founded it)
• Portland Unknown film festival
• Crypticon Seattle Horror Film Festival, which I've attended several years, twice getting a room, the best way!
• Horror Show Festival in Italy, near to Andrea so he could go if he wants
• Cork International Film Festival, as I've been to Cork and sounds like a great festival
• Oregon Independent Film Festival
• Austin Film Festival, my big one so far
• Bleedingham Film Festival is a fun festival that opens soon and I'll submit. I graduated from Western Washington University in that town, so a college town submission that not only has meaning for me, I might attend if I get accepted, or win.
• Washington West International Film Festival, supposed to be a top ten festival to submit to, and local
• The Midnight Film Festival, they selected my film, "The Rapping" last year in 2019

How many festivals should you submit to? Up to you, and how much money you have. Be sure to read the rules and about info to know what you're getting into. I entered one for "The Rapping" and was rightfully disqualified, as I had missed it was for student submissions only. Luckily, it was a free submission.

So for me, now, that's ten. I may enter the Port Townsend Film Festival up north of here. I love Port Townsend and it can draw big names. They also require DCP format, which is a bit of a pain, rather than the format my film is in now, MP4. My daughter was working up there several years ago and called me up to say, "Tom Cruz is walking down the street." So you never know who might see your film.

And that's about it. For now.

Much more later...

So, I know, I know, I should add in some inside jokes, some blooper reels, some brief and funny or weirdly bizarre asides, but...no. Maybe in the DVD extras?

Speaking of which. The film is now done. I got some DVD blanks and I've had some DVD covers for a few years which I had almost gotten rid of but now I'll use for this. I have to make up a graphic for the DVD covers. Hey, I'm getting there! Soon. This week even. I'm still not to 100% of my energy after a month of healing from that damn flu. No, not THAT damn flu. Just, the flu. But, it sucked.

Now I've shared Gumdrop with some close to me on Google Drive. My kids. My editor of "Death of heaven". Her husband is my friend, so they both get access to it and later I'll get them a DVD. In fact, I'm still thinking up who to offer it to.

Let's see. So far I've given offered it to Ilene and Kurt Giambastiani (this is in no particular order by the way). Did I say Ilene was once my editor until she had to go and start a new career as a small businessperson? By the way, I love Kurt's "Fallen Cloud" series of revisionist history. I know, sounds stupid but it's so amazing, well written and historically accurate... until he subverts it for fun and profit.

I said, my two kids. Who else?

Oh, Erwin. No, wait. Andrea in Italy (see above). Since he did, after all, do the soundtrack music. I mean, come on. Not to mention what Italy is going through now with this COVID-19 virus crap.

Oh, Erwin. Great photographer. I met him online in the 90s over a Clive Barker play he was producing. He sent me the music and years later, I sent that to Clive's archivists, Phil and Sarah. I met Clive a few times in person, and that's a story unto itself. But as far as meeting a celebrity doing me any good...not so much.

But then Erwin Verweij and I reconnected on Facebook years ago. And, he's awesome. But, he lives in Rotterdam, Netherlands and I live in Bremerton near Seattle, Washington. That being said, we both know we need to meet one of these days and have a very good whiskey and talk. He has my young self's dream job as a photographer. Long story. It has a bit to do with my older brother who was once a bit of a photographer.

Anyway, I'm now working on the DVDs for friends and whoever should get one of Gumdrop. I'm going to look into that this week and I'd like to include some DVD extras. There is definitely some entertaining stuff from our film shoots. Festivals get my film from what I uploaded on the Film Festival site.

And, end scene. It's been a long weekend. I've covered so much above, I hope something was informative or entertaining to you, or someone.

Enjoy your week/year. Stay safe, avoid the hype and nonsense and go out and be brilliant and be productive! Sláinte! Cheers!

Oh, that was something I'd meant to mention. Gumdrop ends with a word no one knows. It's actually a word that ends old Czech films. Like "Fin" in the |French cinema, I ended both "The Rapping", and, "Gumdrop", a short horror, with Sláinte.

Why?

I grew up watching in the 1960s in America on our local PBS channel. Because, the lead character in Gumdrop, that being, Sampson, is half Czech and half Irish.

Just like me.

So?

Sláinte

A Creative Mind and Life

I have noticed something of late and I wanted to share that. Full disclosure, I had ADHD as a kid. ADD as an adult. I'm getting older, I turn sixty-four near the end of August. I was lucky. As a kid, I had lots of activities that taught me control and discipline.

Myself as a kid

It was torture to master. Years of practice. Years of pain and frustration. Years of delayed gratification. We all need some of that, some of us far more than others. Structure to be unstructured. Discipline to be undisciplined when the right times come upon us.

I noticed as I got older that I had better control over things. Far better than many. Not as much as some, to be sure. I had built good habits growing up. Or they had been built into me. Probably out of necessity so as not to kill me as an offspring.

It was a struggle to figure out, to learn, but in the end, I did figure it out. I found I had a certain way of thinking and that it was more productive to work with what I had rather than to work against it. As we are typically taught in school through K-12.

Once I realized that my life got easier. I also realized I had to hide it. To be perceived as the other kids. To fit in while not fitting on. So I had to work around things, had to work harder and faster than others. Reminds me of that comment on Ginger Rogers doing what Fred Astaire did, only backward, and faster. I'm not claiming to know the female experience in life as I'm male, but intellectually, I do get it.

I learned to make notes for myself. I learned to take responsibility. To not be a victim to my circumstances but to find a way to succeed despite them. I learned that if I had to do something I had to see it got done to completion and if that required extraordinary means, so be it. If I had to walk the extra mile from others, no one cared, as long as I got my responsibilities cared for.

I realized that I was very good at creating in going forward, not so much remembering and regurgitating. I was exceptional in synthesis, in synthesizing things. In taking from one concept and adapting it to many others.

I was very good at taking something and modifying it, making it far better. Eventually creating from scratch myself and then modifying that over time. As they say in the writing field, writing is rewriting. So it is in other fields. To create, you make something and modify it, over and over to perfection. To YOUR perfection.

As you modify you learn. When humans do anything, in doing it over and over they find the flaws and find the enhancements needed. Those who sse that, who apply that, find success. The other end of that is the business side of creativity which is hard for most artists and why so many fail.

My grandmother told me repeatedly, if you start a book, always finish it. I can today count on one or two hands, all the books I've started in my life and not finished. Probably on one hand.

Another side of this is perseverance. Those who give up fail, by definition. Don't be defined by your failure. As Thomas A. Edison said: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." I've heard so many who have "made it" who said it was luck. You do have to, as they used to say, "take a licking and keep on ticking." Persevere.

Being in the right place at the right time, making that happen, so that luck could happen to them. So it is luck, but it's also setting yourself up for luck to happen, rather than failure. They've also said that in their never giving up, while their friends had, who started when they did, some who were even better then they were at whatever their endeavors were, while they made it, the others didn't. Because they quit or couldn't take rejection after rejection.

A famous author once said about rejection in relation to writers, that you should collect your rejections as a positive thing. As a collection. Put them on your office wall where you see them every day. Collect more. Fill the wall. Fill another wall. Fill all your office walls. Then start to fill another wall in another room.

By the time you fill your wall, or your office, or another room, or your entire home, you will have a sale and then another. You have to acclimate yourself to so-called, failures. Because each failure is a success in learning, in moving past that failure to the next and so eventually to the success you want. Or another success you never saw coming. And be sure to see that when it arrives.

Opportunity knocks only once, they say. Be sure to answer when it knocks. Truth is, opportunity knocks in our lives many times. But we often never ever hear the knock because we're looking for a knock at another door. Or listening for a knock when it is a doorbell or a whistle from outside our windows.

My High School Graduation Photo

My sister suggested when I entered high school (and that was the year after she had graduated so we missed one another), that I should write notes and put them in my jeans pocket, the pocket with my keys in them. She said it had worked for her. And I knew she was smart. After some months I found that some days, I would have a pocket full of small pieces of paper with notes on them.

When I was leaving school at the end of the day I would reach for my keys, in 12th grade, it was my car keys to drive home (even better) and I would feel the notes, read them, refresh my memory on what was to come.

Or if it was for the next day, leave it in my pocket for tomorrow morning to refresh again my memory and then try to remember to, remember. Or to keep checking my pocket throughout the day. It got to be a habit as the day went on to just touch my pocket, to feel if there were notes in there. I would remember (maybe) what the note(s) said (which actually helped my memory) or when I couldn't remember, pull them out and review them. Which also helped my memory.

My confidence grew. I made it a point to show up for things on time or a few minutes early. I came to be known as punctual. Also, dependable. A teacher pointed out one day the difference between most kids who sit in the front or back of a class.

I started putting myself on the front line, in the front row. I found I could pay more attention, get more involved. I became more interested. I had always felt I didn't want to engage (a holdover I think from my lower grade school experiences. I found ways to trick myself to, or to force myself, putting myself into positions where I had to learn or to become involved. At first, I hated it. But I persevered and eventually got to relish the interactions.

All this led to a change in how I was perceived by others. For two reasons. My strong desire to be trusted and dependable, and those pocket notes. For a while later on, it became my watch with an alarm. But there were times, without a supporting pocket note, that the alarm would go off and I would have absolutely no idea why. Nowadays, of course, I have my smartphone and calendar app along with other apps for support.

My reason for bringing this all up though really has to do with creativity. Something I studied at university. My major being psychology, one of my classes actually was titled, Creativity. And it wasn't an easy class. I quickly realized that shot name classes were hard and classes with longer names were easier.

I've noticed something for some time now about my creative pursuits. I'm very good at them. I can produce a lot, much if not most being of very high quality. But not always. And, why not?

What I have noticed first, is a change in myself as I age. When I was younger, I had massive amounts of energy. In fact, I seldom got a full night's sleep in high school. I would lie awake most of the night until four or five in the morning. Then fall asleep and wake exhausted to my alarm clock.

I had a night job at a drive-in theater snack bar. I became the snack-bar manager for the last couple of years there. I went to school during the day, then to work in the evening, then home and bed. I learned to get my homework done at school during the day.

Sometimes working in one class on homework for another class. Teachers weren't stupid and they'd rail against kids doing that. So you had to be smart about it. And you still had to pay attention to the class you were in. But I seemed to be good at multitasking and it kept my mind from wandering (ADD again).

But at night, I was usually running at a high rate of speed by the time my head I hit the pillow.

Still, I had the energy to spare when I was young. In fact, being ADHD/ADD I had far too much energy most of the time. I just had to learn to use that to my advantage and not disadvantage.

What I've noticed as I've aged though is that decrease in energy. Obviously. I'm getting older. Regular workouts become ever more important as we age. It's not just that I could be in better shape though.

There is another and well-known component involved. I asked my doctor at a checkup some years ago about changes I'd noticed. I seemed to feel things more deeply. Emotionally. I'm more affected by things than I ever used to be. He said that was really quite normal (normal, there's a concept).

Obviously, as you age you gain experience and so you feel things more deeply, he said.

OK, that made sense. Then I noticed that my creativity seemed to become more problematic. That is, I've always been able to produce quality on demand. I still can, to be sure. Years as a technical writer do that, just as Isaac Asimov had claimed in his first autobiography, In Memory, Yet Green. A book that affected me deeply when it came on the market years ago. But for pure creativity and comfort, I've noticed a change.

Example. in 2016 I sold my house of sixteen years and moved to a rental in another town, Bremerton, WA. I went where the best deal possible was at the time. I had to. I wasn't rich and I was going to retire and live off of my retirement at too young of an age. Because I could.

I was retiring, young at sixty-one I was tired of on call and IT work and wanted to finally take the time and effort (and could) to explore my creative pursuits. Writing fiction, screenplay, become proficient in film production, perhaps shoot my own films from my own writings. And so I am now doing all this and making progress.

I expected to live there a year or two and look around, find where I really want to live after having sold the house, and then move to a more long term situation. I was also retiring from twenty years in IT. Which I did. One month after moving.

Now, if you talk to a realtor, they will tell you that buying (or selling) a house is like dealing with the death of a loved one over the course of that year. There is actually a numeric scale of how much stress you should have in a year that gives you a kind of guide by which to know if you are heading into taking on too much, if not headed into more serious issues.

Friends told me when I retired that it takes people anywhere from six months to two years to recover from retiring. It is a massive changed after all and I had not only sold a house I had moved into with my wife and children, but was now a house I was to move out from without that wife and kids now full grown. And I was retiring. All that in one year was a lot. Apparently.

Yet, I figured, "I'm tough, I can handle it." Maybe a month or two to reorient and I should be good. Several months of partying and doing whatever I wanted and having drinks nearly every day if not more, one day I realized that I wasn't slowing down. It was over six months later that I realized, I was finally getting over that previous summer's house sale and move.

Two years now after selling my house and moving, I moved again.

In the interim, I had to deal with family member situations, my dog of fifteen years dying and within a month, my mother dying. There was more family drama overall going on than I want to go into here but suffice it to say, it took a lot out of me. Now that I look back I think over this last move, even though it was only from one rental house to another and only a mile away at that, it really was more intense and compromising than the move two years previous.

Once again I am trying to get back onto my creative feet and needless to say, it's been difficult. Though to be fair now, there were issues with this move too. I had volunteered to help refurbish the new rental house so I could move in earlier without paying rent for the partial first month.

The guy moving out had three large dogs, hadn't paid rent in several months and seldom on time when he did and he took questionable care of the house and yard. It was a mess. We had to rip out all the wall to wall carpet and replace them and paint the entire inside as well as clean and remove things left by the previous renter. Unused to 10-12 hour days of physical labor and during some very hot summer days, I was pretty beat when finally I moved in.

Because the carpets were put in a week after I moved in all my things were downstairs except for a bed we had to move to have the carpets installed. So I'd been delayed in getting all fully "moved in". It took a while to get my writing desk in place or a working...workspace.

It was a little frustrating. My youngest child (mid-20s) was having problems finding a place and so had moved into the previous house and about a week into the new house before moving to a new location, and suffered the interim condition of the house along with me.

My real point in bringing this all up is... I find when I go through mental duress, and working for a month requiring oneself to ignore the pain and exhaustion of remodeling in sweltering heat at my age, is a mental thing too. I find that it compromises my creative endeavors.

I find I need a period of decompression, if you will. Of relaxation and perhaps, of healing. I can fight it, or I can give it its space, which I did as I happened to still to have that luxury. Lucky me, to be sure.

I have struggled to do what creative things I could. My hardest work is writing. Alone, blindly and boldly creating, if you will. I've done some events and other physical things where I could do something creative. I've worked on and been in a few local small indie horror film projects for instance. Attended some Cons. But my goal has been writing, creating, and film production as in filming and editing my own works.

Here's my mental image of what I'm dealing with.

It's like my mind is a vast and finite cacophony of (as in a murder of crows) eggshells, all arranged in a massive solid structure. Each next to and stacked upon another. When I go through these periods of, shall we say, challenge? Some of these get crushed. So I need time once the difficulties are over, for these things to heal back up. Or be replaced. Whatever works.

If the structure is somewhat crushed I cannot traverse the creative routes. Like trying to wind through a maze in a forest, where there is too much overgrowth and too many downed trees. IF however, I take the time to clean up that part of it, to allow things to heal and grow back, then I'm back to normal and not untypically, even better.

It's just that I find now that it is easier for this structure to get crushed than ever before. Though now that I think about it, there were times in mid-life when I had trouble being creative and I gave that up to laziness. When in hindsight I can now see it was daily stress and just many of life's compromises.

It is frustrating now though because I now have what I've worked toward for some years and I'm unable to be that creative or productive. Still again, my point in bringing this all up is that I know it will pass and I only have to work with myself in order to get back on track and... I will.

I have for one, made an appointment for the first time with a top rated consultant on a screenplay of mine that has been consistently getting high reviews (THE TEENAGE BODYGUARD). I have high hopes for it, as do others. But also I need to be writing every day for a full day at a time and I'm not. Still again, I know it will come... and eventually, I'll get to where I'm headed.

Because it's all a matter of time and allowing myself to take the time I need, to properly heal up and then step bravely into a new stage of my life.

But for now, I feel kind of broken.

Like my fragile list of daily habits has been broken. Floating, drifting, rudderless. I just need to rebuild my list with a new set of habits. Or the same exact list as I had before, which can be frustrating. When you get used to that happening in your life, that urge to rebuild that which shouldn't have been broken becomes more challenging. First world problems, I know.

Taking the time to live the new life, to get used to it, to assimilate it, the list will come, eventually. If I need it faster, then I need to do it intellectually, pedantically. to know that the rest of me will eventually catch up, organically.

It is in not understanding that, where some people go wrong. They become irate, unsociable, irrational. When all you need to do is relax, be patient, and work towards a positive outcome. As best and quickly as you can. No stress, just effort.

No. It's not all wonderful. But it doesn't have to be a big difficult life event either.

You just have to let yourself... Live.

I wrote the above during the third quarter of 2018.

At this point so much has happened. I have produced my first short horror film. I'm about to start shooting my second, more than twice the length of that first eight minutes short. I'm now working with a Hollywood producer on my screenplay, The Teenage Bodyguard. This week I'm shooting an interview of me to hopefully be included in a horror documentary from the UK on horror writers and filmmakers. And I now qualify ss both.

It took me a while but I'm finally in a good place to explore the creativity I had always wanted to explore over most of my life. Those skills and things I've gone through over a lifetime have paid off and I'm seeing hope for a new career. I've met many new and interesting people. I see a path up now.

It hasn't been easy, it hasn't been quick. Not by a long shot. But those who persevere, who set themselves up to be in those places where luck CAN happen for them and others they have surrounded themselves with, who hone their skills and creativity, who take the time to make themselves indispensable to others who can help them...they are the ones who have a chance.

They are the ones who made their opportunities. And when that knock comes, will hear it. Even if it is a whistle.

And I'm just getting started...

Gumdrop City, My Next Short Horror Film

The reasons I retired from my career in IT was to focus on writing and selling my writings, to continue writing in new ways, to branch out, to feel free to choose my directions. But also to start making small movie productions... of my own writings.

The Rapping was a POC. To test my new equipment and my methodology. This link goes to its place on the Once A Week Online Film Festival for the week of January 2nd, 2019. So I can do it. Well, I've done it before. It's just been a while.

Cover art by Marvin Hayes

Marvin Hayes did the original cover for the ebook so you can see the character in his "Rex Harrison" hat above in the cover art.

I decided on Gumdrop City as the first production of my writings into a short film. Mostly because I could simplify things and use little f/x. Even if it is to be a prequel and not the actual story itself. But that frees me up some as it can be an origin story, and I don't have to follow exactly the previously published story. It's working title is now, "Gumdrop Sampson".

Which also sets up an interesting dynamic on several levels. Creatively, artistically, marketing wise. I've written about this story on here before.

This will be my first narrative horror film from one of my published writings. The Rapping, is an Attic Tale, written expressly for filming it. As was the as yet unproduced film before it, Garage Tales. As I've moved houses since then and no longer have a standalone garage (or an attic), my next might be in that similar vein as, a Basement Tale. Or not.

Selling your writings is like trying to get unknown others to desire a certain drop of water in a lake of so very many others. Or from an ocean. Or so it feels anyway.

Producing your own works is like creating that lake yourself. Perhaps starting with a puddle for others to access, rather than merely a drop. Hopefully, an entertaining puddle. One that unknown others may desire. Who does not have to take from an ocean or a lake, but perhaps just a good sized pond.

Some of it is in your own mental image, in your efforts. Some are in your discovered reality.

An ocean: Google Books estimates that there are about 130 million books in existence. If you double that, it's probably more than enough to cover all the books that ever existed. UNESCO estimates that about 2 million books are published worldwide each year, but that includes older books as well as new ones.

A pond: It has been estimated that there are approximately 500,000 movies (of narrative fiction feature-length, theatrical-cinema films) currently in existence (Vogel 2011, p. 102).

Nothing really grisly will be in the film prequel of Gumdrop City, that's in the short story, the ebook, and Anthology of Evil, version. Eventually, there will also be an audiobook version of the original story. My hope for the ending of the film is to lead to a disturbing and satiating conclusion while setting up the sequel of the published short story.

I had also worked on Gumdrop City as a feature film length production with a producer in Hollywood a few years ago. We fleshed out the storyline. In that version, we added some characters and more storyline. While I liked this story for a film project, the producer liked another idea I had of a traveling angel.

Perhaps that story is now even more apropos than it seemed back then around 2011. I'll eventually get back around to it. Kind of a good feeling Frank Capra type story, only with more of an edge.

One that America may need more now than ever before.

As I indicated this film will be a prequel of Sampson in Gumdrop City, the weird old guy trope in your neighborhood that the kids (and adults) fear or at least, shy away from.

And no, it's not an autobiography.

It IS, however, a true crime story I had first fictionalized in college after hearing the story in our popular and sometimes disturbing abnormal psych class at WWU. We all walked out of that class that day with a bit of dread and disgust. And I knew I had to write it as a horror story.

Tom Remick, my voice actor, is set to act the lead role. Should be pretty easy physically, in that he has to act like a somewhat hobbled, weird old man. Typecasting? No, I assure you. Tom is a great and compassionate guy. But he's looking forward to playing the role. It's easy to relish playing a character that is very different from your own personality or experiences.

As this is a prequel, things may evolve between this project and the published version. So if he lives one place in the film, that may change before the story timeline.

I am still working on the first draft of the screenplay, but it's coming along nicely. Tom is reading the short story this weekend and we'll get together this week to talk. he found a "Rex Harrison" hat at a store this week. We still need a tattered tweed suit jacket. And a burlap bag. And maybe, a teddy bear.

Yeah, see? You can already see this is descending into madness. But it should be, I don't know, if not fun, entertaining.

This is the fun part for me, the creative process. I'm making it as simple and effective as I can. There will be humor in it. Weirdness. And in the end hopefully, if I can pull it off, horror. And in that should come the fun for horror aficionados.

And in the end? I hope to have a viable film to submit to film festivals. If I can get it done in time, and I believe I can, I will even be able to submit it to our own local film festival here that I was among other things, a judge in during last year's first-ever Gorst Underground Film Festival.

We're looking forward to another great and second annual festival later this year. I had a blast and met some great new people. Like "Man in Camo" Ethan Minsker from New York and his awesome documentary.

Also, there is the next town over the festival which actually begins May 3rd: The Port Orchard Film Festival. And those here in the Pacific Northwest as well as others around the world.

I will also be at Crypticon Seattle that weekend of May 3rd at the Doubletree Inn in SeaTac. I've been to two now but not for a couple of years now. I also was at the first ever Seattle ZomBcon which was a blast and it's second year. Just a few years ago I'd never been to a convention all my life and now within a couple of weeks, I'll have been to five within a few years. I have my friend and horror filmmaker Kelly Hughes to thank for that.

I even got to meet and have a heartfelt conversation with actor Lance Henriksen last time, just standing at the latte bar one morning at the Hilton SeaTac hotel. We got to hang out and talk alone for a while and I tell you, that's the way to meet these celebrities. What a sweet guy but so scary on screen. And he was just one of those I got to meet and hang out with. These things can be a great deal of fun.

Being able now to show up as an actual filmmaker and not just a writer, author, and mere screenwriter should be a lot of fun. So if you should happen to go, I'll keep an eye out for you!

Cheers!