2 New JZ Murdock Books - Anthology of Evil II

Anthology of Evil has a sequel! It has been released as two new volumes, titled, "Anthology of Evil II vol. I" and "Anthology of Evil II vol. II The Unwritten". 

Volume II by the way, was just nominated for a prestigious award (Nominated, which really means little other than a member / peer thought it worthy to be in the running for an award...still, pretty cool!).

You can hear more about these books and more when I speak with friend and fellow film director Kelly Hughes on his 2-Bit Horror podcast. There, we talk about my writing in general and a variety of fun things. I am also on live radio Chat and Spin, a UK show from Washington, England, recording the same day this blog hits the bandwidth. For more about me, you can visit my website with info about my audiobooks and film productions ("Gumdrop", a short horror, is my latest short horror film).

Brief aside December 11, 2020 update: Amazing news! My play, "Denude, a one act", was just selected by Jocunda Music, Film & Theatre Festival via FilmFreeway.com! Selected: Project has been selected to be included in festival.

It is about two guys in a foxhole during a war...or wars, opening in vietnam. 

Kind of a Twilight Zoneish play, that opens in a cross section of a foxhole so the audience can see the soldiers on stage in it, jungle surrounding them backstage and side. TRAPPIST, a 1972 Vietnam deployed soldier, and MENSES, a 1972 Vietnam deployed soldier

I found it in my writings from college, spiffed it up and sent it off and now it's in being performed a festival in Brooklyn, NY. Event date January 15, 2021

I should also mention my film, "Gumdrop", a short horror, has received another award from the Indo French International Film Festival for Best Short Horror...and is now a semi finalist in the Cult Movies International Film Festival in London.

Now, as for my new books... 

Anthology of Evil II (Kindle version) 

First 50 free ebook download (coupon TE53V) from Smashwords!

Anthology of Evil II The Unwritten (Kindle version)

First 50 free ebook download (coupon KM72X) from Smashwords!

You may notice that the book covers are reversed. That's because they are really one book broken out into two volumes. Why? Allow me to explain.

These books are a collection of my newer short horror and sci fi fiction which have been published in magazines and anthologies with other authors and some, have yet  to be published. Tell now. So you're seeing them now for the first time anywhere.

My first "Anthology of Evil" collection book cover

"Anthology of Evil" was my first published book, a collection of my first and older short stories. It opens with my first ever published short story. That was back in 1990 in an east coast quarterly horror magazine. "In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear", is a story all too familiar to America today that takes place in a dystopian society where the country put all their trust in just one man. A man we discover, who is mentally unbalanced.

My second book, the epic, "Death of heaven"

My second book, "Death of heaven", is an epic tale of two friends who grew up together, then lost touch as they both assumed their roles in life. Broken and somewhat lost, they come together again, one to save the other, who then saves him. They are happy to have found one another again, but under such dark circumstances? Dark circumstances we come to discover, that affects the entire world, the whole of humanity and takes us into an intergalactic tale of fear and escape.

Back to "Anthology of Evil". That collection of stories end with a novella titled, "Andrew". That story grew into the foundation for my second book, "Death of heaven". While my first book was a collection of my short published and unpublished short fiction and it ended with a novella, I wanted to write my second book in that series in the same format.

However, when writing "The Unwritten", what was to have been the ending novella, I went way beyond the reasonable length of a novella. I did not realize that until I was actually formatting "Anthology of Evil II. 

At that point, I was left with a quandary. What should I do?

I went back and forth about it until finally, I settled on the present solution. I would put out two books, volumes 1 and 2 would comprise the second book in the "Anthology of Evil" series. Since I had never put out a series before and had never really considered it, in doing it this way I would end up with volumes 1 & 2 of the second book in the series. I found that a bit entertaining. So I settled on doing that. And that was all the thought I gave it.

It wasn't under I was publishing the books that the consideration of price came into my mind. So anyone saying I was trying to make money by putting these stories out in two books rather than one, that thought had never come into my mind. At that time I did think about it and I did consider going back to a one book format. But I thought I would just price it appropriately and go forward as I had planned.

Until I ran up against Amazon's pricing policy. They would not allow me to do what I wanted to. By then I just wanted to be done with the process (it was 2020 and a very, very long and problematic year, as we all know). I just wanted to see them published at this point and move on to other things. And that led me to another issue, having literally nothing to do with these two books.

It is an issue I'm still trying to work out with Amazon about my first two books. But that mess, for another time. Besides, I do not yet know the resolution though I have suggested a few to Amazon about this.

By the way, what am I doing that I wanted to be done with this and move on? I published my books this time under my film production company, LgN Productions, which I started back in 1993. I also write screenplays. 

It is a true-crime story about a 17-year-old guy who protected a murder witness from the Tacoma, Washington mafia, a biopic screenplay titled, "The Teenage Bodyguard". It is currently being shown to a studio by my producer, Robert Mitas. Robert has produced films with famed actor/producer, Michael Douglas, who along with his father Kirk, all through my childhood had been a film hero of mine for just about forever. 

But right now? I am writing another screenplay that is a Frank Capraesque kind of a feel-good film, which America and the world really could use right now. Frank produced films like "It's A Wonderful Life" (1946) with Jimmy Stewart, which didn't do well at the box office when released, but has been an American Christmas staple for many decades. 

My current screenplay is a "traveling angel" story that takes place in "any town USA". I haven't pitched it to Robert yet, but very soon. I think he'll be excited about it.

Back to my new books:

"Anthology of Evil II" has sixteen stories total in it:

"Red Rain" - A Philip K Dick kind of story about two scientists who have had it with how humanity treats humanity and so, they do something about it. Well, one of them does. 

"Expedition Of The Arcturus" - First published in the online hard sci fi magazine, PerihelionSF - In the style of one of my first favorite sci fi authors as a child, Isaac Asimov. It's a story about Earth's first generational spaceship. Told in reversed timeline. Meaning, it begins at the end and, it ends at the beginning. It was the hook that got me that sale from the editor Sam Bellotto.

"Breaking On Cave Island"  - First published in "Giant Tales World of Pirates (Giant Tales 3-Minute Stories) (Volume 3)" in 2014 by Professor Limn Books LLC  & H.M. Schuldt.  An HP Lovecraft kind of tale about a pirate named Captain Lord Ritchie. This is a prequel to a story of mine in Book 1 of the series titled, "Poor Lord Ritchie". In this tale he is younger, obviously, and a pirate captain trapped in a underworld tunnel on a deserted island. Anyone knowing this character knows he hates wizards. Here you can finally find out why. 

"Jaonny's Apple Tree" - This is a story about a young alien boy on his home planet. Reminiscent of a Ray Bradbury, who is one of my all-time favorite authors. It's a pleasant tale told in a bucolic setting. Where no doubt, all is not what it seems. 

"In The Shade" - Originally published as, "Falling Up!", in "Final Ships In the Neighborhood (Giant Tales Apocalypse 10-Minute Stories Book 2)" in 2014, edited by  Professor Limn Books & H.M. Schuldt - I'd have to say this is based on myself and HP Lovecraft, as well as Isaac Asimov. This is a side story based on the last part of my book, "Death of heaven". If you like this story at all, check out the book. This, is nothing compared to what all happens in the original.

"Simon's Beautiful Thought" - Simon is a tech guy with an AI assistant on his phone like so many of us have. A bit of Isaac Asimov in this tale. Yes, this has been done before. But I wrote it a year before the movie, "Her" (with Joaquin Phoenix) came out. The question in this story is, do AI's get jealous? Or, can one just be a good friend with only your best interests at "heart" (or, at CPU?).

"The Regent's Daughter" - A short, short story that won a tiny award for "best tension" from the group that published two stories of mine mentioned above in the "Giant Tales" series of books. It reminds me of a Robert E. Howard story (he wrote the Conan books, among other things), with perhaps a little more ironic humor n it. It tells of a medieval nobody who gets the unique opportunity to interact with a royal beauty in the town's main square by the castle. It goes well, I think. So does our protagonist. Well, it is a memorable tale anyway.

"Mr. Pakool's Spice" - First published in "Hunger Pangs: Dark Confessions", in 2012 by Mayday Collective. I'm saying this is based somewhat on a Calvin A. L. Miller II zombie book, "Het Madden". Because I've only read two zombie novels and that's one Mine is a story about a widower trying to get his two young children to safety through the back wintry woods of Oregon after the zombie apocalypse hits. There is a slight association at the end with another zombie story of mine: "Japeth, Ishvi and The Light" in the first "Anthology of Evil" book

"Men Of The City" - This is an allegorical story spawned by the famous writer and artist, Clive Barker. He held a contest once based on a painting of the same name as my short story. He did not choose this story. He chose two other author's stories and they were good and did use his painting as inspiration. I just decided on a lark to take it...literally. I really like this weird little tale.

"Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" - This is a poem, based on Maurice Ravel and a bit of Hemingway, but with a kind of Edgar Allen Poe edge to it. What if Ravel came up with his famous "Bolero" while in the trenches of WWI where both he and Hemingway were kept from the main action and made ambulance drivers. What if opposing trenches one night discovered a very unknown thing in this kind of warfare: Humanity?

"Marking Time" (original 1969 version) - With a bit of a Stephen King flair to it, this is a story I wrote many years ago and details what I was told as a child by another child, while we were in the Cascade mountains on a search and rescue training mission, looking for a small downed aircraft. I had reworked this story, updated it, set it in Afghanistan, and published it in my second book, "Death of heaven". That first, second version (or is it second, first version?) is a ghost story and a special operations war story. This one is more intimate and gives the reader an idea of what kids for decades have gone through in the Civil Air Patrol. To be sure it is an extreme example. I got a lot out of being a Flight Commander in the CAP, and it helped, once I was an adult and had entered the United States Air Force. 

"Crashing Indulgences" - Another kind of Stephen King story about how far off relationships can go. Yeah, not much to say about this one, other that there may be highlights of the macabre and extraordinary.

"EarVu" - With a touch of both Isaac Asimov & Clive Barker, this is about a group of cutting edge (bleeding edge, really) scientists when one day, one of them shows up for work, and no one else does. It's a bit of a detective story that all takes place in a top-secret, secure research facility. New technology has been developed that will change the world. If it can ever get out of the lab.

"Rapture" - With the flavor of a Philip K Dick story, this happens in the near future. A private detective, or a "fixer", that's never really clear, is hired by a rich woman to take her to the inner city where she does not belong, to acquire a new illegal drug. That's the upside to this tale.

"Xibalba Unleashed" - This follows the lines of HP Lovecraft if he had turned toward the Mayan ancients and their mythology. It is an origin story that starts off in the action, recedes to the recent past into a famous Mayan cave that is the entrance to the underworld and then returns, making much more sense than when it started. This was written for the British "A-Z Horror Anthology" where I had the letter "X" and twenty-five other authors had a letter their title had to start with. The anthology got up to the letter "L" and then the project fell through. I had a minor motorcycle accident in the middle of writing this. When I returned to finish it, I ran over the word length and rather than possibly ruin it, I wrote another story entirely and submitted it. 

"X The Unknown" - This is that other story I submitted to replace the story just above. With a detective edge to it familiar to Edgar Allan Poe, this is about an FBI Special Agent in Seattle following a lead on a serial killer. Maybe it is the killer, the UnSub, maybe not. 

"Anthology of Evil II The Unwritten" - This is volume two, the second half of book two in the series and has only one story in it. But that is all the story that is needed: "The Unwritten". I detail more on this story in the back of the book. For now, I'll just say what the back cover says: "Three Hells. Three Universes. "One Solution". The book opens with a man strapped to a table in an old cabin in the woods. He cannot remember anything at first and has no idea why this woman is so into torturing him. This shifts to a lab of two scientists in another universe and an experiment and a society that is constrained and complicated. After this shifts to a far darker universe than anyone has ever experienced, we dance between the three until, in the end, it all comes together with an unforeseeable ending. 

My style of writing in my fiction is my own. As one critic put it, she could not figure out who I was from my writings, you can read her own words at the link, but it was high praise indeed.

Another critic in speaking of my book, "Death of heaven", said: "The book starts well and has a Books of Blood vibe, which really works well. It's in these tales that the author's writing ability shines. He demonstrates a lovely turn of phrase and some of the writing is almost poetic in its beauty."

"Books of Blood" were written by Clive Barker and are some of my favorite horror stories. He now has a new show based on these on Hulu. I read my first book of blood of Clive's back in the 80s and wrote to him. He wrote back. I got to meet him a few times but that was the early 90s at book signings. 

So I take the comparison to heart. Are these stories that good? That's not up to me. But if you like any of these, do give "Death of heaven" a read. And then just maybe, you'll find out why the "h" in Heaven" is not capitalized. 

Slainte!

JZ Murdock

Bremerton, Washington USA November 2020

"Gumdrop", a short horror - Wins Cult Critic Movie Award!

We just received notification about our film, "Gumdrop", a short horror from a submission to the prestigious Cult Critic' Movie Awards film festival in West Bengal!

This was a small project that, as films tend to do, grew rapidly as we began production. I decided on this project for several reasons.

Trailer

By the way, the "steps" left of the title in red in the poster, represent the stairs in the film going down into "darkness".

A little background on the film. I've been working up to making movies of my writings for years. I've studied cinema, screen/scriptwriting all through my university years, toward my degree in psychology.

So I looked over my published and unpublished writings and chose one that did not require massive special effects, crew, talent, or locations. 

I chose a true crime story I wrote in 1983 after an abnormal psychology class. In selecting that story ("Gumdrop City"). Spring of 2019 I wrote the prequel screenplay, then acquired the talent...the actors, the location, and then we began shooting principal photography. We shot through that summer. and finished in late summer. I went alone into post-production through the fall and winter.

I never expected to win any award but hoped I would at least get shown at a festival. This "learning" experience, has become much more. I will say however that I put a lot of work into this project and I was pretty pleased with it. The film came out much better than I had ever expected.

Was it perfect? Was it as good as I had wanted? No. Is it ever? In doing all of the post-production myself, I had to learn more all the time about the software I was using, the techniques of an editor (which I have some experience in going back to old celluloid films). I read a lot during production and during post-production.

Did I make mistakes? To be sure. For one? I would like a crew. My first day of shooting nearly gave me a nervous breakdown. But by the end of that first day, I had gotten my stride. The actors seemed to enjoy being on the production, so I guess I wasn't a nightmare to work with.

I learned a lot about directing, running the camera, the lights, the sound, and rewriting on the fly, on set. Then in post-production making the story work even and ever better. I acquired a composer for the soundtrack. Andrea Fioravanti, in Italy. I also had a young singer/songwriter, Alex Dewell on the soundtrack.

I also used some music from Nikolas Hayes, from his CD years ago. I used my first short, eight-minute horror film he had acted in, "The Rapping". A trifle I produced just to prove I COULD even shoot a film. And yet it won an award and was also shown at The Midnight Film Festival in New York. Perhaps I'm on a roll here. 

Concurrently, I am also working on seeing my true crime biopic, "The Teenage Bodyguard" into production along with producer Robert Mitas the head of their Originals department at Voyage Media. There is also a new podcast from the Pacific Northwest Scene of the Crime people, titled, "Enterprise". 

I am also doing a final edit on my manuscript for a sequel to my first ever published book, a collection of my short stories, that will be titled, "Anthology of Evil II". That ending novella in the first book, "Andrew" led to the creation of my next book and masterwork of fiction, "Death of heaven". My new book will also have an ending novella this one titled, "The Unwritten". 

In the midst of all that, I received this email from the Cult Critic Movie Awards.

The Official Notification Email:

Congratulations! We are so excited to announce that your project is an AWARD WINNER at the 32nd monthly season of the Cult Critic Movie Awards.

The full list of selection is about to be released on our website (http://hlc-cultcritic.com/) and will also be published on our social networks.
We'll email you shortly your laurel and certificate, and rate your project on IMDb page (If applicable).
Please note that all the monthly Award Winners are automatically NOMINATED for the prestigious JEAN LUC GODARD AWARDS. The final result will be published on September 2020.
You may follow the detailed coverage of this season on Cult Critic film magazine (http://hlc-cultcritic.com).
Cheers!

Will there be a next project? To be sure!

Also, remember the Scene of the Crime podcast, "Enterprise", which is based on the story my true crime screenplay, The Teenage Bodyguard, is based upon.

The Rapping, My Short Horror Film Released

We just got notified, My first narrative, eight-minute short B/W horror film, "The Rapping", was not selected by its last film festival that it was submitted to.

We can now lay "The Rapping"...to rest. Sort of. If any film is ever truly laid to rest. And this one, actually lives on...

It was selected twice, in the, Once a Week Online Film Festival where you can now see its trailer, and selected and shown in, The Midnight Film Festival, in New York.

Brief parts of it have now been used as background in my current film -"Gumdrop", a short horror.

Thanks again to lead actor, Nikolas Hayes, for working on it with me, it was a good time and I learned a lot from it. 🙂 And it led to my current film.

So...on to..."Gumdrop", a short horror (trailer), and its run on the film festival circuit! 

March 31, 2020, is next up for it...if it is open or they are judging yet, or still. I already had one film festival cancel in Tennesse, Far Out Film Fest, due to the pandemic and their recent tornado. All the best to them and their state.

Since "The Rapping' is finished with the film festival circuit, I can now display it on my Youtube channel... in full. 

It's just a trifle and was only ever supposed to be one. It was only meant to prove I could complete a film, use the film equipment and editing software, and is basically a one-trick pony. 

But still, it is kind of fun. And we got a kick out of doing it. 

It is also very effective in, Gumdrop! I hope you get a kick out of it too. For what it's worth.

A brief aside and a shout out to another director:

Just for fun, after I Tweeted out about The Rapping today, I received a link to this video, "The Amulet of Fear" from the filmmaker, Andrea Ricca

I enjoyed it so much. In part for the first few minutes that freaked me out a little because it was like we both had the same script but shot it in our own different ways.

Only I used a guy. And the director Ricca has the same first name as my "Gumdrop", a short horror, music composer, Andrea Fioravanti! Both, Italian obviously.

Where Andrea had a woman actor reading a horror book by Stephen King, I had my lead read a book I wrote, Death of heaven. Hey, why not, right?

I thought it was a very enjoyable short film! Glad I got to see it!
Thanks, Andrea!

Moving on...

Wishing you all, all the best in this current global trial and effort to get back to normal.
Stay safe!
Stay healthy!
Keep yourselves busy and entertained. 

Cheers! Sláinte!

FREE - All My Ebooks Now FREE on Smashwords!

For those picking up my ebooks to read, Thanks . Enjoy! Been getting emails that they are getting downloaded. All of my ebooks on there are now temporarily FREE until April 20th because of the pandemic. Check it out and then check out their other authors, maybe one of your favorites. Get them while you can! 

From Smashwords to customers:

For one month only, thousands of Smashwords authors and publishers will provide readers deep discounts on ebooks. Discount levels include 30%-off, 60%-off, and FREE.

This sale is a direct result of several Smashwords authors who suggested it. These indie authors want to support readers around the world who face unprecededed anxiety, economic hardship and social isolation as the world community fights to stem the spread of the Covid-19 virus.

More than ever, these ebooks from indie authors and publishers offer readers unlimited hours of low-cost entertainment, distraction, comfort and knowledge during these trying times.

Smashwords is being hammered with downloads. Can't imagine why. But keep trying, they may be up and down with all the requests.

I was just wondering, as all my ebooks are free for a month, which is good (or bad, or bad good?) for pandemic reading?

So I surveyed my available titles. I have a complete other manuscript of new stories as yet unpublished which I've been wanting to get around to, but...not yet.

So...

ANTHOLOGY OF EVIL - a collection of my older writings available in print on Amazon
In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear - Sci Fi / Horror
Gumdrop City - Horror / based on True Crime and my new film
Quantum History - Sci Fi / Humor at MIT
The London Mea Culpa Document - Lead into next story
The Mea Culpa Document - Medieval / Horror
Poor Lord Ritchie's Answer (To A Question He Knever Knew on the knight that the Knight lost all") - Medieval / Horror / Surreal - this comes later from another "Breaking on Cave Island"
Sarah - Horror / Surreal Alzheimer's on Twilight Zone
The Fall - short short Horror that led to an indie industry article written about my writings
Japheth, Ishvi and The Light - Horror / Zombies at a religious commune and ... God
Andrew - novella - Horror / Surreal / Sci Fi the story that led to the next book...

From author and reviewer Michael Brookes: "The book [DEATH OF HEAVEN] starts well and has a Clive Barker, Books of Blood vibe, which really works well. It's in these tales that the author's writing ability shines. He demonstrates a lovely turn of phrase and some of the writing is almost poetic in its beauty."
DEATH OF HEAVEN - epic horror sci fi with standalone stories in it you will understand when you read it. A complex and some have reviewed, a beautifully written book that is hard to describe: Available in print on Amazon
The Conqueror Worm - two 12-year-old boys dig up treasure
Rosebud -beware imposing your mind on your gf
Thirst Divine - terrifying entities from above can be erotic
Harbinger -be good, terrifying entities are watching from above
"Sweet Jane" - be careful who you marry. I wrote this after watching Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians one night back in the 90s when they played on SNL and being inspired.
Marking Time - avoid ghosts in Afghanistan, even if you're special forces. Originally written about my own childhood in the Civil Air Patrol in search and rescue, ported over to adulthood.
Going Home - runaway gets in the wrong car, classic story.
Vaughan’s Theorem - a scary serial murderer story and rather long.
The Mea Culpa Document of London - medieval witch hunter

ALSO other shorts:
EarVu - horror in the lab
Mr. Pakool's Spice - father and 2 young kids in the zombie apocalypse in the back winter woods of Oregon. Originally published in an anthology with other authors.
Expedition of the Arcturus - sci fi on earth's first trans-generational spaceship, originally published in PerihelionSF.com magazine in their second edition ever.. A great hard sci fi mag for free reading.
Xibalba Unleashed - serial murder in a Mayan cave and university campus

Simon’s Beautiful Thought - short sci fi romance I wrote about a guy and his phone's AI, before most or all of the more famous stories like that.

NON FICTION (I have a degree in psychology, thus...)
On Psychology: With Illustration in Psychopathology via Synesthesia and Schizophrenia

Psycho-neurologically Approaching a Field Theory Understanding of Schizophrenia via Research of a Non-normative, Non-pathological Syndrome: Synesthesia, and the need for more information Title Case Recommendation
Unpublished

SO...jump over to Smashwords and look around. Wishing you all the best through this difficult time. But there are options to lose yourself for a time in some great books!

#ebooks #shortstories #smashwords #horror #scifi #sf #novels #free #freebe #freeebook #bookstagram #freebook #ebookgratis #ebooklovers #islamicpost #ebookbestseller #ebookfree #freeebooks #ebookpdf #ebooks #freebie #giveaway #couponcommunity #freestuff

Horror Author/Filmmaker's Perspective: COVID-19 Pandemic

Skip this if this kind of thing freaks you out. It freaks me out. IF ya don't wanna know, don't read it! But for the curious, scientific or medical interested among us...What Does the Coronavirus Do to the Body? That's kind of the focus of the topic here, but...not really. By the way, I've been updating the best info I can find, debunking stuff as I come across it, on my Facebook page.

UPDATE 3/20/20: Smashwords just started a sale between 3/20-4/20. So I have made all my writings on there free because of the pandemic, as I know many are now stuck at home climbing the walls. Enjoy! Also, you can listen to the Kelly Hughes podcast I'm on about my new film, "Gumdrop", a short horror (trailer). It's still going around film festivals until late 2020, so it is not yet available to view.

And please, everyone have at least 2 weeks of backstock of food at home through this. It may seem crazy to some, normally. But you may have noticed...this ain't normal. Don't go nuts. But go...

As the title of this blog indicates, it's really about how as a horror writer and filmmaker of the macabre would personally handle this kind of a dire life situation. How does someone with an overactive imagination, who exercises it professionally, deal with being in the midst of a global pandemic? Especially in getting older and being in an older, more susceptible cohort.

Meaning, it could be even more fear evoking. Though I've never been much of one for being frightened at much of anything. That, however, is something that took me a great deal of effort and work when I was younger. More on that, later.

For now, something you should be aware of, soap. A comment from The Guardian about this pandemic and protecting oneself.

They also said this:

America faces an epic choice...
... in the coming year, and the results will define the country for a generation. These are perilous times. Over the last three years, much of what the Guardian holds dear has been threatened – democracy, civility, truth. This US administration is establishing new norms of behaviour. Anger and cruelty disfigure public discourse and lying is commonplace. Truth is being chased away. But with your help we can continue to put it center stage.

Rampant disinformation, partisan news sources and social media's tsunami of fake news is no basis on which to inform the American public in 2020. The need for a robust, independent press has never been greater...

And so, this is about how I think, how I got here, and how I handle things. I'm lucky. I put in a lot of effort when I was a kid and as a young adult, to learn discipline, to face my fears (and I had plenty to contend with) and, how to remain functional while experiencing sheer terror. Or worse, how to be a first responder and tuck away my fears to act to help others.

I actually found that easier. To ignore fear. Because when you dedicate your situation to helping others, to protecting others, you are using a kind of mask. You are hiding yourself from yourself behind a mask of action, need and necessity. Your fears don't matter, don't exist, because you are doing a job saving others' lives.

So, yours don't matter. Other than to stay functional long enough to complete your mission. Whatever it is. I realized decades ago that I could be functional in dire situations, and then only afterward, I'd feel the response, physically, mentally, emotionally.

On the market now with Producer Robert Mitas attached

This is the same for acting as a bodyguard. Whenever I performed that function, it was like looking through a lens. "You"... don't exist. Only your mission. Your purpose. Your person to protect. That's your universe. It's why war zone video journalists get killed so easily as they are focused through their lens in order to get their shot. They forget they are a person and need to protect themselves.

It's about their mission, the photo, the video and that's about informing others, elsewhere. Yeah, it's a paycheck to be sure. But that's not the motivation in the moment. It's doing the job and "you" don't exist and therefore, neither do your fears. It's freeing in a way. It's also what's so addictive about it and why some are compelled to go back time and time again. Sometimes, until it's too late.

Like being a soldier in a warzone. It's not so much courage as it is, at least in my mind, from my experiences, about your team, so that you are hiding your fears from yourself and remaining functional and active... because of others.

Courage to me is acting in the face of nothing being in it for me and still risking my life. Which is kind of what heroes get medals for, where normally courage doesn't really come into it. Not in the moment, only in hindsight. I guess courage or those medals, involve far exceeding that kind of "normal", in that situation.

Which is already far above the norm for most people. It's hard to explain in a short amount of space and time, like here and now. I think that is all in part why so many "Heroes" who get medals downplay their actions and involvement, as it's confusing to them. "The other guy is a hero", they'll say. Or, "The dead guy I couldn't save is...not me." Of course, that can also have to do with survivor's guilt. Something I'm glad I've never had to deal with myself.

Moving on...

As I said, I've always had an overactive imagination. As a kid, it drove my mom (and my family, to be sure...and my teachers) a bit nuts. Dreams and nightmares were either awesome or terrifying but I loved them both. I've been a writer, and now filmmaker of the macabre, since the early 1980s.

I read sci-fi as a young kid and then horror. I read Edgar Allen Poe back in the 1960s and watched all those genre movies. I've been a fan of horror all my life (as well as A/A films and sci-fi...big time, etc.). My mother loved vampire films long before I was born. We'd watch old late night horror flicks together on TV. So I learned it young and from a parent. 

Until 1969, when the family saw "Night of the Living Dead" at the drive-in, in our station wagon. After that night mom would not allow that title to be spoken in her house. Not even ten years later.

During this pandemic, I think about Poe's, "The Mask of the Red Death: A Fantasy". The story, the movie. It's about a pandemic through a romantic or fantastical notion of it and in a rather poetic and obviously, "Poe-like" fashion.

Robert John Burke in "Thinner" (1996)

I think about "Thinner" by Stephen King. And other such tales. I found "Thinner" to be very disturbing as a film when it came out. I was as a kid, a bit short, chunky, not really overweight. Until I hit high school in tenth grade. I had a night job working nights at that drive-in theater. I was going all the time, I had trouble sleeping all through high school, I shot up a few inches and dropped a few pounds in tenth grade. So as a kid, being thinner was a thing for me. It was on my mind.

In eighth grade, I once tried my mother's "diet pills" from the kitchen cabinet where she kept them. I didn't like them very much but they did curb my appetite. Being a kid of ADHD, speed tended to not speed me up but slow me down. I had a strong desire to drop pounds or look thin for a long time. But I only tried one of those pills. They weren't pleasant. 

Decades after that was a concern anymore, I saw that film, "Thinner". The idea that you find you are losing weight, and it's exhilarating, but then you keep losing weight, until , you begin to get concerned. Then worried, Then outright frightened...it really hit home. 

What IF you lose weight, but it never stops? It's like that short story about a piece of skin or a hangnail that is bugging someone. And so they pull on it. It rips on up along their arm. Of course, you're sitting there wondering, why don't they just stop pulling at it? That idea of picking at something, anything, but it goes wrong. Horribly wrong. And you can't stop.

Echoes of parents warning you about things: "Don't cross your eyes, or they will stick that way. You'd need surgery. You know, that happened to Jerry Lewis once! And he needed surgery. He was lucky. They fixed him. They might not be able to fix you!" My mother actually told me that as a kid. I'm sure everyone has one of those things their parents told them as kids. It's basically lazy parenting. Or simply ignorant parenting. Or parents merely passing on ridiculous things they were told and perhaps, still believed. 

I'll give you a really nasty one. As kids, we were watching TV with the family. I got up, stepped over my younger brother, both of us having been stretched out on our deep blue long shag carpet, chins propped up on hands watching TV and too closely (that issue being yet another).

Mom exclaimed to me, "Don't step over your brother like that, or he could die!" I was annoyed. And perplexed. Did she really believe that? No one else said a word.

It was ridiculous. But, I stepped back over him to neutralize it and said, "OK?"

She said, "Well, I don't know if that fixes it or makes it worse."

I just shook my head and went on to the kitchen. Sadly, some years later he did die in 1975. Of liver cancer, weeks before he turned fifteen. And sadly, five years to the week of the first successful liver transplant.

Years after that I happened to bring up my mom's superstitions. I mentioned to her she had said that about stepping over my brother and she outright denied it. I told her she had been superstitious about other things, but again she denied it, too.

Fears. Where do they come from? Ridiculous fears. Especially fear of oneself.

But that's part of the trope. It's like being near a cliff or edge of a tall building and being innately frightened that you might decide to leap off it. The pulling at skin thing, has been done a few times in films. But the concept is usually, something small and innocuous begin to bug you and it ends up morphing into something massive and horrific. Who's responsible? You. 

That concept has been explored in horror and sci-fi for many years.

What if you wish to be younger, so you try something to make it happen. Then... success! But, it doesn't stop! Maybe you are young, wishing to be an adult. But then you don't stop aging?

The basis of horror, really. Getting what you want but it goes seriously awry, horribly wrong. That's also the concept behind the Genie, or Jinn, where you get three wishes. But be careful what you wish for. Genies, after all, are very literal, and like Leprechauns, mischievous, if not outright evil. The innocent as evil being another fun trope. Or terrifying one. 

Years ago, I got into studying the Spanish Flu pandemic and that led me to other pandemics. I then dove into the Middle Ages, the so called, "Dark Ages", and all the horrors therein. That eventually led to the Renaissance, the "Enlightenment".

Which eventually led me at university to write a short story about a Judge and Witch Hunter in, "The Mea Culpa Document of London", contained in my collection of my older short stories, "Anthology of Evil". That led to another and longer story as an extension of it in, "Vaughan's Theorem", contained in another book, "Death of heaven". A massively epic horror sci fi book.

It's interesting to note that about twenty (thirty?) years ago in my researching pandemics (this included surveying Scientific American type journals and some even more scientific journals of immunology).

I should mention that I've been reading Scientific American since the 1970s and it used to be much more than it is today. Bigger and in my mind, better. I loved its style of presenting material and research. It opens in a form anyone can understand, then goes deeper until finally it gets deep into the fine detail and even scientific data.

By the way, not sure who wrote this up, but ... my disclaimer

During that research on pandemics, I kept coming across comments in journals and books and interviews, that the world was overdue for a pandemic. At first, they were just comments that we were overdue. But over the years it was stated in ever more intense comments of futility, that we were "long overdue". Some seemed rather concerned in their interviews. The concern was palpable.

So, for it finally now to be hitting, in this year,  as I've been waiting for it for so long, for me at very least, it's a very curious feeling. As with things like climate change, where you start to think maybe it will never happen, until it does...in this case, it has. It is in fact, surreal. 

I've always had a penchant for those wonderful jags of diving into research. When I went to university, I learned how to do it professionally and knowledgeably. Researching. I had really discovered something. I would delve deeply into it for a while until I satiated my interests and then, move on. That goes back with me to I think the fifth grade. And our local public library. 

My family had moved into a new house, a new location, and new schools. I was a mischievous kid myself so mom wouldn't let me go anywhere at first. For a while. But finally I got her to agree to let me go to the local library. It was about a mile away. So when I wasn't grounded, I'd talk my mom into letting me to go the library.

I rode there on my bicycle. It didn't take long to get there and the road there was pretty safe. And it was the 60s. So I started hanging out at the library, once I realized it was about the only place she'd let me go on my own. Just to get away from the house. For some peace and quiet and control over my own devices, away from the parents. Especially, my step-father. We never really got along. 

I discovered at the library how you could look things up. It was...amazing. I didn't know it was research, it was just...cool. My mind sucked up knowledge like a sponge. The librarians were very nice to me and answered any questions. I think they were a little surprised that a kid in fifth grade was showing so much interest in a library.

On his own. Without being forced to be there by his parents. Or, just being brought in by parents, getting books and then...out of there. I would hang out there for hours. I was typically the only kid there most of the time, without a parent along with them. 

Then the greatest thing ever happened. I discovered the adult section! Wow!

I don't know what section it was really, probably just not the kid's section. But to me,it was... The Adult Section. With adult things. Adult concepts. 

Adult stuff. They talked about things in books I never heard about. Sex. Violence. Complex things way over my head. My grandmother, my intellectual mentor, had told me I should do as she did. Read a book for fun. Then for your next book, read a book you know is over your head.

You don't have to understand it, she said. You just have to get through it. And always finish a book you start. One of the best pieces of advice I've even been given. Because it moved into other areas of my life. Always finish what you start.

IF you keep doing that, reading over your level of understanding, always finishing the book...over time you will begin to understand what you are reading. I read a lot of books where I had little idea what I was reading. But she was right.

Eventually, I got it. I got it all. While others, friends and even older family members, and parents, didn't even know what I was talking about half of the time. So people started to think I was weird. Just because I said things that to them were, gibberish. Knowing it was knowledgeable stuff, it was confusing. Alternately, embolding and disappointing, or depressing. 

Understand, this was in the 1960s. My family was a blue-collar family. My stepfather had a high school education. Had been in the Coast Guard in WWII. As a musician and a typist/clerk. My birth father had been in the Navy in WWII. I'm not sure what his job was, but he was later a construction electrician most of his life.

My mother had a 9th-grade education. But she was pretty sharp, just generally unfocused and a bit flighty. I was the first in my nuclear family to get a university, or for that matter a college degree. Though my cousin, my mom's sister's daughter, got her university educated some years before me. She went from high school to college. I went from high school, kicked about a few years, then the USAF, then a year off, and only then I got around to college. 

Back to the library. When I walked into the library as a kid, if I went straight ahead, past the librarian check out area on the right by the front door, walking straight forward, I'd hit that area I called...the Adult Section. 

I'd sit there and go through all the books one after another and was AMAZED, in what I was reading. I'd sneak a glance to the Librarian behind the counter and the one wandering about doing things or helping people, but they never once said, "HEY kid, what are YOU doing in the adult section?!" Never nary a word. So I just kept reading, surveying all those books. 

Eventually, I discovered some guy named Aristotle. Who I gathered, lived a very long time ago. I read his writings and they affected me in both good and bad ways. It might have gone better had someone explained what he was saying, just to put it all into perspective. And how it should relate to me as a kid and a kid in the 20th century. My ethics got a bit rigid and became a high bar for many years for me. For both myself, my friends and my family. 

It didn't help that my grandmother once told me, in trying to help me understand life, that a true friend would give their life for you. As you would, for them. That's a pretty damn high bar for friendship. Especially for a kid. And being ADD (I was more ADHD as a young and probably rather annoying kid, and high energy to say the least, just as my own son eventually was)...and therefore I was also a bit OCD, Nothing extreme, just enough that it was useful. I'd latched onto good ideas and take them to their natural and not always reasonable conclusions. 

Yeah, I could be a bit annoying. But eventually, I mellowed out. With the help of friends. It got to where I didn't have a lot of friends for a while and I was kind of bummed about it. Until a friend explained that my standards of ethics for myself and certainly my friends, was simply too high. Unmanageable. He convinced me to relax a bit.

It took a while but I took in what he was saying and did my best. After a while, things did get better. But it wasn't an easy thing to do. Breaking a habit. Breaking with a long established belief in how the world should work. 

This was in my early 20s. Later in life, I learned some ways to view life that made things event better. To trust, but verify. Some people trust no one. Those poor people. It can so easily lead to paranoia. That was part of my problem.

IF the bar was so high, you'd find people generally untrustworthy. They'd always let you down. But if you simply give people the benefit of the doubt, keep a wary eye on them, just being aware of things, then you can relax and you'll find you have more friends.

Just now I'm getting over a nasty flu experience that has lasted over a month. Today as I write this it is Thursday, March 15, 2020. This flu began on February 9th. My lungs are still a bit sketchy, they've been somewhat inflamed, making them feel somewhat raw, or "weak". But they're now on the mend.  I got an inhaler from the doctor, which has helped a lot.

I'm feeling better each day. But then, the pandemic hits. Great. Just, great. I cannot even fathom going through this all again and in my cohort, having a potential for death. One report from China said that some survivors are seeing permanent diminished lung capacity. Again. Just...great. 

I'm also going to be 65 in August. So again, I'm in that cohort of greater concern (good times, right?). They say this coronavirus, COVID-19 is of concern for the elderly in general, especially people with compromised immune systems. I don't feel elderly yet, but anyone over 60 they say, should be concerned. In getting over one kind of flu, I really don't want another. Not one that could kill me. Not that any flu can't kill you anyway. 

The doctor told me I probably just had one of the three usual types of flu, A, B (the two worse versions) or C. Because I had a flu shot end of last November, he said I probably just had A or B and the flu shot decreased its severity.

I have to say, I'd hate to have had it at full strength. As it was, it was just nasty and very uncomfortable. But I had little fever and not much body ache. Just an overall nasty feeling and those miserable breathing difficulties. Going to sleep was lying awake for hours in several cases in trying to breathe without evoking coughing fits or just great discomfort.

Luckily I've always been pretty healthy, though allergies have always been a problem. Apparently, according to my mother, the day I was born I had some initial respiratory issues. Then as a kid I had annual bronchitis. I hated that. But it got me out of school each year for a week at a time.

So breathing issues have been at the forefront for me since birth. 

Still, I started martial arts in grade school and was always a physically active person. Researchers have said that lots of exercise in your youth and 20s really pays off in leaving you healthier in old age.

I spent the first half of my twenties in the USAF in a very labor-intensive position. where i was essentially doing the same as being in the gum and working out from two to four hours every morning. On some bad days, all day long. And when the hard part ended, I'd just go pack parachutes which also a bit of a physical job. All of which I eventually realized, would one day pay off when I got older. And here we are.

So now we have an actual pandemic. Yes, it could be massively worse. And it may become so. Here's hoping not.

My point in ALL this? I have a background that is perfect  for fantastic thinking. It could be even worse as I've not lived through Ebola or anything like that. It is good for imagining far worse than anything we will probably experience. For causing myself more problems than I need in imagining worse than we'll see. I could write something, or make a film about it. Flu and pandemic movies have certainly already been made, that topic explored.

Not to mention, the zombie apocalypse films. My own new film I'm just now sending out to film festival, "Gumdrop", a short horror...is about a serial killer. I wondered though if it would have been better as a pandemic horror film. Or, if perhaps instead, I ducked a bad idea at this time, in not having made that kind of film. 

Some of the pandemic film titles? There are multiples of these titles and some are remakes.

Contagion, for instance IMDB lists three). Outbreak, obviously. The Crazies. The Stand, by Stephen King. I Am Legend (or The Omega Man, or the original, The Last Man on Earth, originally by Richard Matheson). One even named, Flu from South Korea. The brilliant and classic, The Andromeda Strain (by ), Cabin Fever. about a government weaponized virus gone rogue. The fun, 10 Cloverfield Lane. Resident Evil. Quarantine, of course. Carriers. Pandorum. The Happening. Bird Flu. 

And so many more, some listed in: Vulture's, "The 58 Best Pandemic Movies to Binge in Quarantine." Ranker also has: "The Best Movies About Disease Outbreaks."

So, in having such a great background for creativity and imagination and dreaming up the worst possible things in life, how am I now handling all this. What is now for us, officially a pandemic? 

Doing fine really.

How is that possible? I donno. Maybe having visited all the very worst life can offer when it really comes to be? Reading all those stories, seeing all those movies? Maybe people like that are simply prepared for it?

Or maybe I have such a relaxed attitude since there is not much I can do about it. I'm pretty logical about things. I've been trained to be. I categorize things. Take things one step at a time, especially when they become overwhelming. Maybe also, martial arts discipline has something to do with it. I learned Asian philosophies at a young age and martial arts philosophies. Samurai accepted they were dead before going into battle or to fight a duel. That freed them from fear and they could then fight logically, clearly aware, functionally...bravely.

I've also had a lot of emergency services training beginning in junior high in search and rescue in the Civil Air Patrol. Even before I was in emergency services and flying planes as a twelve year old, I was in martial arts in Isshinryu Karate where we were taught how to kill instantly. But also how to respect life and never use what we knew, unless absolutely necessary. When there was no other option.

Our Sensei once told us he'd rather he found out we ran from a fight than to kill someone. "That is," he said, "if you have to fight, go all in. But if you could avoid killing someone I'd rather be called a coward myself, for saving another's life, than kill them and be seen as some kind of hero, or a killer." That shocked us as kids. We'd grown up watching a lot of war movies and that was our goal, to be a hero, to see battle. Our Sensei was an ex Marine Drill Instructor who learned Karate in Okinawa from the Founder. It was a lesson that stuck with us. 

Life is horrific enough as it is. Yes, I do write horror. I do make horror movies. But oddly enough, that as they say, for fun and profit. It's a fun scare, a roller coaster ride, experienced safely before a screen or from a book. It's not reality. But it's also a way to experience things before hand. A good pandemic or apocalypse film should not only scare for furn, or simply entertain, but also educate. 

What if a killer enters your home at night? Think about the solution before hand. Be prepared. Not just a Boy Scout motto. Here's some suggestions. Entertainment forms like books and films can show us what is wrong to do. A normal trope in horror films to let you yell at the screen, "What are you doing?!!" 

Who do I feel for? Those people who have avoided the horrors of reality. Or in entertainment media in books, films or games. Who are only now facing the considerations of a pandemic. Those who are stunned and unaware of what to do, what can happen, what this all means. That has GOT to be truly horrific for them. And to them? I offer my condolences. But in surviving this current mess, let that be your being made aware. Go forward and learn, get prepared for whatever is next. Because in this new world, there will be more coming. Rising seas, fires, and so on. 

After all this is over, maybe take another, more informed look a the horror genre.

It's not all just what many think it is. It does have a useful benefit in preparing one for possibilities we'd prefer to ignore. I really hope we never have to experience some of those things but we are right now, after all. At least you would be better prepared now. If not simply emotionally prepared, actually prepared in having some sense of how to protect yourself and in consideration of the reactions others can have toward or against you, in situations such as these.

"The Walking Dead" series on AMC network, was massively beneficial in that respect. You'd think up until the point of these horror films over the decades that people in an apocalypse would be helpful, supportive, compassionate. But what we've seen in these things are that people can be fearful, greedy, vengeful against you for no apparent reason. Bullies come out of the woodworks as this si their environment and some have been waiting all their lives for it. The Road Warrior films exemplified this going back into the 1980s. 

I do hope people will be more humane and caring toward one another though, during an apocalyptic event. But let's enter it with eyes wide open.

Trust, but verify. Appreciate your friends and loved ones. Or those who could and might be your friend in a serious if not dire situation. Just always, always... be aware of human nature and how things can change, with some people, with some personalities, on the drop of a dime.

Be safe out there. Ever more Interesting times are coming...

Film Production 101 - "Gumdrop", a short horror

My new film, "Gumdrop", a short horror, is finished! In the can! We began on this film back in the Spring of 2019. We shot through the summer and I started post-production early las Fall. As of March 5, 2020, after speaking with the film score composer, Andrea Fioravanti of the Italian band, Postvorta, we agreed... the film is ready to be locked and distributed. That begins with the film being submitted to film festivals. Which I have now started doing.

This past week I began researching film festivals to submit to. I had previously submitted my last film, "The Rapping" to film festivals. My first time doing that. It won the Weekly Online Film Festival, and was shown at New York's, Midnight Film Festival. Now pieces of it have ended up in this current film as a kind of background in what was a rather challenging audio flashback scene.

This past Saturday night was our monthly Slash Night horror film event at the Historic Roxy Theater in Bremerton, Washington. I was talking to the event founder Kelly Hughes (also founded the Gorst Underground Film Festival, September will be the third annual and now a three-day event). I've been helping Kelly on his films over the past few years and now on the GUFF and these Slash Night events.

We started the monthly Slash Night events to support the annual GUFF. But also to build a community of local filmmakers. To bring us all together. To educate ourselves together and to build a sense of cooperation and support. And it is working. The Darkow film crew is working with Kelly on a new short film project we are filming at the Roxy Theater. I'm helping with that, too.

Kelly saw my first assembly draft cut of "Gumdrop". I had inadvertently called it a first rough cut. He and our friend and cartoonist, Pat Moriarity, had come to my house in Bremerton to watch it. Both of them live just across the bay in Port Orchard.

They had some positive and negative things to say about the film at that point. I was a little surprised by their reaction. To be fair, Pat said he's not really a fan of horror movies, but he has taught storyboarding in college and as that professor's eye that is always positive and productive for students. But they both had some very valuable critiques.

I mention this viewing because that week after they saw my film, I researched some things and came to realize, I had not shown them my first draft cut of the film, but the first assembly cut. To vastly different things. And so they judged it upon that mistaken understanding. My fault, not theirs. I should have said they were watching the first assembly, or assembly cut,  not a first rough cut.

The first assembly, or assembly cut, is the editor's first cut of the entire movie. The editor strings together all of the usable footage and organizes it into a chronological sequence that corresponds with the film's script.

The assembly cut is also the first draft of the movie edit in which the director has the opportunity to see the movie for the first time. In filmmaking, the rough cut is the second of three stages of offline editing. The term originates from the early days of filmmaking when film stock was physically cut and reassembled, but is still used to describe projects that are recorded and edited digitally. - Wikipedia 

I also mention all this because, at this past weekend's Slash Night, Kelly said he saw just a bit of my submission to our GUFF on FilmFreeway.com and he was very impressed with how much it changed from that first viewing he got many months ago. Since he last saw it with Pat, I have done fifty-four drafts of the film and added the film score and songs.

On that... I was very lucky to acquire musician Andrea Fioravanti from the awesome Italian band, Postvorta. No, really. Check them out! I laid down his soundtrack, we talked, he sent me another, I laid that down, I began to edit in the late stages of the film with the soundtrack in place and altered things accordingly and the film only got better.

It's hard to know what it takes to produce a film without doing it. In doing all stages of the film build process you really get a close-up view through painful and tedious work. 

I am not bragging, but this is the process one goes through. Of course on a bigger production where you have even one crew member, there are people to do these various things, all of which the director and producer may be intimately involved in throughout the process. 

I wrote the screenplay last Spring of 2019. It is based upon one of my older short stories, "Gumdrop City" and is a prequel to that story and an origin story of that main character. That story is a true crime story that I fictionalized and published in "Anthology of Evil", a collection of my first short horror stories.

It contains my first published work of science fiction, a short horror story ("In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear") and, my first novelette ("Andrew"). Andrew was eventually grown, along with another single page short story ("Perception") into my massive epic horror sci-fi book, "Death of heaven". 

I also later published "Gumdrop City" as a standalone ebook. Not yet as an audiobook, though I have a few. I first heard about this story at university in an abnormal psychology class. It was so disturbing I decided to write a short story to share that story with the world. OK then. Marketing crap out of the way, back to our story...

After finishing the screenplay, I chose and gathered the actors among friends, and actors, who I had worked with on Kelly's film projects in the past, and handed out the roles. We began principal photography where I was cameraman, sound tech, lighting tech/grip, cinematographer, craft services (food/drink for the actors and non-existent crewmembers), essentially, the crew.

Now let me mention something here. I've seen low budget, indie films where at the end you see in the credits:

• Directed by: Alan Smithee
• Edited by: Alan Smithee
• Produced by: Alan Smithee
• Cinematographer: Alan Smithee
• Soundtrack by: Alan Smithee
• Lighting by: Alan Smithee
• Written by: Alan Smithee
• Screenplay by: Alan Smithee
• Childhood horrors by: Alan Smithee

Look. Do NOT do that! In my film "Gumdrop", at the end it simply says:

A

JZ Murdock

Film

Or something like that. But, nice, brief, clean. Simple! Like me. OK? Don't purge the needs of your ego at that point. We get it. You're the MASTER. Well? You're probably not. Even the greatest of filmmakers are always learning.

Oh, by the way. Who's Alan Smithee? Surely, inquiring minds want to know. Well, too bad, this isn't about HIM!

Oh, and... THAT'S one of the thing I love about filmmaking.  So humble is good. And as my brother, seven years my senior once told me when I was in junior high, self-deprecating humor is good. If a bully picks on you, cuts you down..."Cut your self down first... more. But be funny. It robs bullies of their power and may turn them to your benefit."

Good advice. No. As it turned out? Great advice! Really great advice. It saved me from so many ass beatings, I lost count. And, made me many new friends. So thanks for that, Jon!

Anyway, as I had been saying earlier before my ADD lost track, got unfocused tangent (a woman once called me, "Mr. Tangent! But, that's a good thing!" She said. Okayyy, uh, thanks?) ...luckily for all of us, I was not an actor. Though when one actor dropped out playing a voiceover role on the day of the recording, I jumped in to sit opposite professional actor, Jennifer True for the audio flashback scene of the Sampson's character's child role and step-mother, and I played the visitor, Koloman.

We began shooting the film on set throughout the Summer of 2019. After that was over I began the editing post-production process in Fall of that year and finished, less than a week ago as I write this. 

The editing process is a beast. You have to select the shots to use out of all the raw video shot. That is when you discover if you actually have all the shots you needed. Or if any of the shots or audio aren't up to par. You notice continuity errors and issues and try to fix them in post. You have to match up the digitally recorded audio to the video. 

I also use an external mic on my camera (a Canon 80D DSLR) as an audio backup and it's paid off big time. Nothing worse than finding somehow the DR wasn't turned on or that the mic picked up the dialog in a weird fashion, or some other issue of placement or technical manufacture (such as having the audio pick up turned up too high, clipping the loudness end of the audio spectrum). 

What gave me the most trouble was the audio. As I inferred above, you always run into problems and you do your best to fix them in post, or you reshoot or re-record in ADR. 

"ADR (Automated Dialog Replacement) in film is the process of re-recording audio in a more controlled and quieter setting, usually in a studio. It involves the re-recording of dialogue by the original actor after filming as a way to improve audio quality or reflect dialogue changes."

I had Tom Remick, the lead actor in the role of Sampson, come back and do a brief ADR for a scene of Sampson, in the beginning, looking at a plant. All he had to say was, "My poor little friend." I think there was one other short sentence but I don't remember just now what it was. I then had to match that up to him speaking the words on screen so it looks like he said that. Which means you have to match the cadence up in recording it, or perhaps speed it up or slow it down slightly in post. 

It's not for the faint of heart. Not for the tech doing the audio replacement, or for the actor. I have a lot more respect now for actors who come back to do ADR to themselves on screen. It's tedious, it's difficult and professionals earn their keep. As it is, what we did turn out well. But I'd prefer to avoid it in the future, though at times, it can be impossible to avoid. The more money involved in the production, the more important and necessary it can be. 

There are also issues of sound levels, compression, and separating out the audio of tracks for dialog, soundtrack, music, and sound effects. You have to hear the dialog over all other sounds, or not. It's a decision of the audience understanding the scene and story. When there is too much bass in the music, you have to lower it to understand the dialog, or add treble to the dialog. 

The video is similar. You have to control the color, the white light "temperature" (which hopefully you did on set using real or artificial lighting and camera controls. Matching up the video clips so there is a smooth transition. Shot and scene transitions have to be managed. Special audio and video effects have to be built, acquired and manipulated. Do you give sound to everything you see on screen, or not? Whatever supports the scene and story, of course. 

Do you use real sounds or fake? Foley sounds made up and applied. IF you use the sound of someone walking or being stabbed, it may not sound at all like the action. So you use shoes on a wood floor or stab a head of lettuce, or whatever makes the scene sound real. But you can't overdo it. 

Movie magic, I like to say. Make it seem real to the audience watching the film. And sometimes you go overboard, and it works! Sometimes it fails miserably. It's an artistic choice much of the time and requires a consideration of the format of the film, the story being told the orientation of the filmmaker and other elements. Which is why we take classes, read books, watch videos and best of all, learn from and work with filmmakers who are better and more educated than you are. The best you can access.

Once the film is "locked", the distribution begins. Actually, wise words are that it should begin, whenever possible, before you initially put pen to paper. But for many low budget, indie filmmakers, it's not so much an option and you're left with submitting to film festivals once the film is ready to go out. 

And that, is a whole other blog. 

I started taking a look at film festivals about a month ago, ramping up until the end of post-production. As of this time, I have submitted to about ten festivals around the world. Mostly good, solid local ones. So far one big on, the Austin Film Festival. Some international ones, I have two in Ireland (I'm half Irish born in Tacoma, Washington, and visited there for my birthday in 2015). I've been to Cork and Dublin, so I submitted to a film festival in each town. 

Andrea, our soundtrack composer lives in Italy. So I found a festival about two and a half hours from where he lives. He may not make it, the film may not get accepted, but at least I made the effort so that if he wished to, the film might get accepted and he could have the opportunity to show up and enjoy some of the attention I may get to receive. It's really only right to do it.

Festivals I've submitted to, after reviewing top ten lists of best festivals for in my case, indie horror films to submit to, and reviewing the festivals I came up with. Some of these gave me a waiver so no entry fee! I just asked. One even said to ask them if you are a local filmmaker. I got waivers in the Crypticon. Some of these I've entered before with "The Rapping". 

• TMFF - The Monthly Film Festival
• Gorst Underground Film Festival (my festival I judge with Kelly Hughes who founded it)
• Portland Unknown film festival
• Crypticon Seattle Horror Film Festival, which I've attended several years, twice getting a room, the best way!
• Horror Show Festival in Italy, near to Andrea so he could go if he wants
• Cork International Film Festival, as I've been to Cork and sounds like a great festival
• Oregon Independent Film Festival
• Austin Film Festival, my big one so far
• Bleedingham Film Festival is a fun festival that opens soon and I'll submit. I graduated from Western Washington University in that town, so a college town submission that not only has meaning for me, I might attend if I get accepted, or win.
• Washington West International Film Festival, supposed to be a top ten festival to submit to, and local
• The Midnight Film Festival, they selected my film, "The Rapping" last year in 2019

How many festivals should you submit to? Up to you, and how much money you have. Be sure to read the rules and about info to know what you're getting into. I entered one for "The Rapping" and was rightfully disqualified, as I had missed it was for student submissions only. Luckily, it was a free submission.

So for me, now, that's ten. I may enter the Port Townsend Film Festival up north of here. I love Port Townsend and it can draw big names. They also require DCP format, which is a bit of a pain, rather than the format my film is in now, MP4. My daughter was working up there several years ago and called me up to say, "Tom Cruz is walking down the street." So you never know who might see your film.

And that's about it. For now.

Much more later...

So, I know, I know, I should add in some inside jokes, some blooper reels, some brief and funny or weirdly bizarre asides, but...no. Maybe in the DVD extras?

Speaking of which. The film is now done. I got some DVD blanks and I've had some DVD covers for a few years which I had almost gotten rid of but now I'll use for this. I have to make up a graphic for the DVD covers. Hey, I'm getting there! Soon. This week even. I'm still not to 100% of my energy after a month of healing from that damn flu. No, not THAT damn flu. Just, the flu. But, it sucked.

Now I've shared Gumdrop with some close to me on Google Drive. My kids. My editor of "Death of heaven". Her husband is my friend, so they both get access to it and later I'll get them a DVD. In fact, I'm still thinking up who to offer it to.

Let's see. So far I've given offered it to Ilene and Kurt Giambastiani (this is in no particular order by the way). Did I say Ilene was once my editor until she had to go and start a new career as a small businessperson? By the way, I love Kurt's "Fallen Cloud" series of revisionist history. I know, sounds stupid but it's so amazing, well written and historically accurate... until he subverts it for fun and profit.

I said, my two kids. Who else?

Oh, Erwin. No, wait. Andrea in Italy (see above). Since he did, after all, do the soundtrack music. I mean, come on. Not to mention what Italy is going through now with this COVID-19 virus crap.

Oh, Erwin. Great photographer. I met him online in the 90s over a Clive Barker play he was producing. He sent me the music and years later, I sent that to Clive's archivists, Phil and Sarah. I met Clive a few times in person, and that's a story unto itself. But as far as meeting a celebrity doing me any good...not so much.

But then Erwin Verweij and I reconnected on Facebook years ago. And, he's awesome. But, he lives in Rotterdam, Netherlands and I live in Bremerton near Seattle, Washington. That being said, we both know we need to meet one of these days and have a very good whiskey and talk. He has my young self's dream job as a photographer. Long story. It has a bit to do with my older brother who was once a bit of a photographer.

Anyway, I'm now working on the DVDs for friends and whoever should get one of Gumdrop. I'm going to look into that this week and I'd like to include some DVD extras. There is definitely some entertaining stuff from our film shoots. Festivals get my film from what I uploaded on the Film Festival site.

And, end scene. It's been a long weekend. I've covered so much above, I hope something was informative or entertaining to you, or someone.

Enjoy your week/year. Stay safe, avoid the hype and nonsense and go out and be brilliant and be productive! Sláinte! Cheers!

Oh, that was something I'd meant to mention. Gumdrop ends with a word no one knows. It's actually a word that ends old Czech films. Like "Fin" in the |French cinema, I ended both "The Rapping", and, "Gumdrop", a short horror, with Sláinte.

Why?

I grew up watching in the 1960s in America on our local PBS channel. Because, the lead character in Gumdrop, that being, Sampson, is half Czech and half Irish.

Just like me.

So?

Sláinte