Russia Invades Ukraine, Film Festivals & "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero"

My antiwar film, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" has an interesting evolution which I'm detailing in my book of the same or similar name:

“Pvt. Ravel's Bolero - Film Companion Book History, Form & Structure in the Antiwar Filmic Poem & Historical Documentary" I'm hoping to finish it soon. I am this day finishing up the DVD version of the film and it will soon be released exclusively on a streaming service I recently started with two other indie filmmakers called, "ThrilzTV.com". Pop over and sign up for a free month. If you like it, stick around. It's only $4.99/month! And we ARE going to evolve beyond a streaming indie video channel in support of our indie filmmaking community. 

But this is really a story about my submitting my film to film festivals and in particular, a Russian festival. It was in the week's leading up to and including Russia's ludicrous invasion of Ukraine, all due to their sad, ill, despotic leader, Vladimir Putin, a once middling KGB agent, how apparently had a bruised ego.

My history with Russia goes back to my interest in espionage. It began in high school and the Irish "Troubles" (I'm Irish on my dad's side) which I later transferred into curiosity about US/Soviet relations. In studying that, it led me quite obviously and reasonably into UK/Russia relations history for the past 100 years of their involvement with and against one another. 

Britain found it had to teach America about Soviet espionage leading up to WWII, as we were quite ignorant and disbelieving about things London would tell us. SO they painstakingly updated and educated us on what they'd learned about Soviet tactics, and their long term active measures against other countries, and their disinformation techniques.

This led our "Wild" Bill Donovan, head of our OSS fame being questionably (illegally?) involved in the ABC group of America, Britain and Canada. Eventually, after the war the OSS became the CIA. But in studying this history for decades, considering going into the business myself, entering the USAF with a security clearance for nuclear weapons and signing up with the OSI (Office of Special Investigations, their FBI), I learned a lot.

"When the United States entered World War I in 1917, Donovan, then a major, organized and led the famed 1st Battalion of the 69th New York Volunteers (the original “Fighting Irish,” and which, after the unit was federalized, was redesignated the 165th Regiment of the 42nd Division). He was soon promoted to lieutenant colonel, and his unit arrived in France in October 1917, ready for action." - America's Spymaster, from Warfare History

When in the 1990s I noticed Newt Gingrich started using old Soviet KGB disinfo tactics, the GOP had begun its long decline into autocracy. It was frightfully obvious to me in that decade that something untoward was going on with our Republican Party. Full disclosure, I was raised in my mother's liberal, Teamsters Union family. But I had always had a good head for what was right and fair between human beings, since before I was able to speak.

At some point I left the USAF, got a couple of degrees, started a family and realized I not going into that business after all. But I had learned a lot. I decided I had apparently wasted my time for decades assimilating a vast amount of useless knowledge. Then the "Iron Curtain" fell. I abandoned all those thoughts, thinking I had wasted much effort on useless knowledge. 

Until the 1990s played themselves out and I saw oddly similar things happening, not in Russia, but right here at home in America. I had experienced some of the right wing's white Christian nationalism while in the USAF in Spokane, in Eastern Washington, which I felt was more akin to Idaho (or eastern Oregon) where many from the beaten south after the Civil War had fled to. 

More like Idaho (or was Idaho more like eastern Washington?), than the western side of the Cascade Mountains where I had grown up in Tacoma and around Mt. Rainier. One of my degrees is from Western Washington University in Bellingham, near Canada's Vancouver (love it up there!). So when I heard the leader of the "Church of Our White Christian Heritage" up from Georgia spewing hatred in a chapel in he back hills of Idaho one day, about how Vancouver, BC was a "cesspool of humanity", I was shocked. My wife was terrified. A guy on base had invited us, he drove, surprised us in leaving Washington state for church and needless to say, we didn't go back.

When I left the USAF, I read up on these neo-Nazi loving "Christians" and was shocked at what was going on, right here at home in America (Ruby Ridge, Waco, Oklahoma City bombing, and so on). And how Oregon had been home to some very questionable types I won't go into here. 

Needless to say, I retained my fascination with Russia (and let's not forget Ireland, which I visited for my 60 birthday back in 2015). So when Putin took over, I easily realized it couldn't be good for Russia (for earth?), for a KGB agent to take be handed the reins by a predecessor criminal and alcoholic, as leader of a broken State such as the old USSR. Especially considering the agreement was Putin would protect Boris Yeltsin and his family for all his crimes as Russia's leader in having plundered their coffers. Just as Putin has done and now worries about leaving his position. As trapped in power and Russia it trapped under him.

So thoughts of submitting a work of mine (especially an antiwar film) to Russia, to Moscow, carried a lot of baggage for me. Needless to say, it was a somewhat entertaining notion to me. But I had no idea how it would end up, as so much Russian culture does, as involved and bittersweet as it would turn out.

It all started with that email, from Moscow... 

Wednesday, February 17, 2022:
"Hi, I’m representer of Fox International Film Festival. We heard a lot about your great work "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero". We would like to invite you to take part in our festival."

I checked them on FilmFreeway where I usually submit my films through. Their profile page there said their were a Moscow/Rome film festival. First time I ever saw that. Twin cities...with Russia. OK. Cool. Whatever. I have a long history with Russia since it was the Soviet Union (USSR). I had studied their disinformation techniques and history of espionage along with that of the UK and America (and somewhat therefore, Canada, as in the "ABC" secret America, Britain, Canada during and leading up to WWII).

February 18, 2022
I entered my antiwar historical documentary/filmic poem film "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero", to their festival being held in Moscow (with an associated event indicated in Rome).

Tuesday, February 24, 2022
Russia invaded Ukraine.

My film ends, end credits run, then a list of all "Wars on Earth" scrolls on, seemingly forever. The day Russia invaded Ukraine, I added one last war. So when it played in Moscow, that would be seen on the screen. They would have to know that in reviewing the film so to put it on screen would be a conscious decision. I doubted they would play it, or select it. I felt I had quashed my chances at winning an award, or even being selected. 

I really wouldn't blame them. But maybe they would appreciate just seeing it in watching it, judging it, privately as we do as film festival judges. As I've done myself in our Gorst Underground Film Festival, Kelly Hughes and I founded some years ago. It would take some kind of bravery under the dictator Putin to chance that kind of thing. But there are more Russian patriots that one might think. As happens in any country over twenty years under oppression. Would I have done something like that when the sexual predator and criminal Donald Trump was POTUS45 (or POTUS47 for that matter)? Absolutely. But to be fair, it's no where (yet) near the same thing.

Kelly and I, along with Tony Green in Montreal, Canada have started ThrilzTV streaming indie video channel. It's pretty cool. An indie streaming channel by and for indie film types. Utterly no bearing on anything I'm talking about here. I just thought I'd mention it. It's been a lot of work, but it's coming along well, and you will hopefully hear about it more in the future. And not just from me.

I guess I mention that because I mentioned Kelly. So I should mention Tony. And I'm talking about these two films of mine, both of which are now going to be on ThrilzTV, exclusively with "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" to become available on there soon after a lot of promotion and hoopla (hopefully, the hoopla, not the availability as it's GOING to be available there).

Tuesday, February 24, 2022:
"Hi, dear JZ Murdock! Congratulations from FIFF team, as your work was selected to the second part of our December-January 2022 programme. Your work was something special and our jury was really excited watching it! We would like to inform you that in addition to being successful in your chosen categories, our jury has recommended you the following categories in which they think your work can be successful as well:
"Best War Film"
Good luck in the final part of our October-November 2021 programme!
With love, the FIFF team!"

Wow. No kidding? I found that brave of them. A statement perhaps against Putin's Kremlin in general. Especially since the last words of the film seen on screen are: "Putin's Folly" 2022

So I was up for "Best War Film" that Friday, on February 27, 2022. They thought that my film, THAT film... would play in Moscow? Even after Russia had invaded Ukraine? That, was pretty bold. I was having fond feelings for them.

Alas, in the end, I received only Official Selection. But thinking it was played in Moscow after Russia invaded a neighbor for no good reason was reward enough.

Plus, it allowed me to email Symbiotic Film Festival in Kyiv to tell them about this as it played out. I've talked about this before, like when it was happening. I wrote a blog about it.

Thursday, January 13, 2022:

Symbiotic emailed me requesting I submit my film noir, "Gumdrop", a short horror (trailer). 

Monday, February 23, 2022:

FilmFreeway:

Dear JZ,

Congratulations!

Symbiotic Film Festival has updated the Judging Status of your submission "Gumdrop", a short horror to Selected.

"Gumdrop", a short horror

Selected

Project has been selected to be included in festival!"

Wednesday 26, 2022:

Email to Symbiotic Film Festival:

"I'm hoping as we all are that you are all safe.

I just wanted to mention, my film, "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero", an anti war film, filmic poem/documentary was just given official selection by Fox International Film Festival in Russia, and they also nominated it as  "Best War Film", which I take as a form of support for Ukraine, if not also a form of dissent against what is going on. 

The world watching and is with you and pushing for ever more to be done to help you.

Slainte! May this all end soon and in your favor!"

I never heard from them again. But it is rewarding to see that they are still listed on FilmFreeway and their website is still up.

I only wish the same could be said for the Fox International Film Festival who had shifted their home reference only to Rome. Their listed website URL from before is not online and their listing on FilmFreeway is now gone:

.

I wish them well and can only hope my own response against their criminal leader Putin's illegal war in Ukraine did not adversely affect or cost them any difficulties. I'm not vain enough to think it had, but under a regime like that, anything is possible. Though I see a reference to them on someone's Twitter posting from last Friday, May 12th, 2023. I can only assume this is the Rome festival location.

What does make me happy is that the Symbiotic Film Festival seems to be alive and well. They are still today listed on FilmFreeway as being in Kyiv and their website and Twitter are up! Though their website is only updated through last year, their FilmFreeway listing indicates July 31, 2023 as their event date for this year's festival.

I wish them all well! Both festivals.

And now "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" will be exclusively on "ThrilzTV.com". It's only 28 minutes long. But it packs a punch. Which explain why it's winning all these awards, I suppose. 

I wish you all well. We'll need it!

Cheers! Sláinte!

June 1, 2023 update:

Since multi award winning "Pvt. Ravel's Bolero" is ONE, an antiwar documentary about WWI, I'm not surprised Moscow rejected it here in this festival, since...TWO, the last phrase in the entire film, after a long scrolling list of all wars on earth, is:
"Putin's Folly 2022" for the Ukraine war he instigated.
I so wanted to be impressed by them. But I also understand.
And I should be even more impressed that the Fox International Film Festival in Moscow in Feb. 27, 2022 did play it.
I have one final festival Moscow Film Party coming up, then I'm done there... Notification Date: June 20, 2023

Walkabout Thoughts #30

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…(2/2/23 Thursday)


Weather for the day… 45 and lightly overcast, and I can see blue here and there.

Podcast for the day pod, “Havana syndrome“ episode two

Instagram post for the day

I swear this podcast is a lot about Cuba, but also about the inside scoop on that country related to Obama opening up relations. Also, our government employees. And the CIA and Cuban intelligence. Also, that has to include Russian and Chinese intelligence. Also the Russians who trained Cuban intelligent services, who then got better, reportedly, than the KGB.

It was a career I was leaning towards (espionage) beforeI went into the USAF as law-enforcement. And still considered towards the end of that service when I interviewed with and got accepted into the OSI. Which the USAF's FBI. I was literally reading "FBI" magazine sitting in the waiting room (should have kept a copy), waiting to see the CO in our base OSI office. Didn’t even know the FBI had a magazine before that. But apparently they are only in offices like the FBI, the OSI, CID, and so on. But that’s another story. And so this is a very interesting podcast, for me.

Once I was accepted, after couple months of interviews and testing with the OSI, I requested to be stationed in Berlin as there had been a year long opening there (CO said no one wanted that position). I would have preferred Berlin over Cuba. But then we weren’t doing that in Cuba, at the time. Berlin was the place to be, to become a seasoned agent of any kind. I still wanted CIA, but I was going to go with USAF at the time. I would replace the OSI Officer the KGB blew up when getting into his car one day. Which was why no one else seemed to want that replacement position. It wasn’t unreasonable to think back then that I might’ve run into Vladimir Putin. I said this before, back then I might’ve even liked the guy. But I never thought a KGB agent being the "Czar" of Russia was a good idea. And then some years ago he changed, and eventually, inevitably, became fucking evil. But then I voted for George HW Bush as president, because I thought it might actually be good to have a president who had been had head of CIA. Who actually knew the inner workings of intelligence. So paint me crazy and call me a hypocrite. But then again in that, you can’t equate the USA with Russia, or the Soviet Union.

I’ve been setting up a streaming movie network for a niche audience that involves us independent film and filmmaker types. Allow me to qualify that… a set up for them, but not involving them directly. Although we three primaries the two founders, those who brought me on, all of us are indie filmmakers. We’ve all directed and/or produced somethings. I’ve learned a lot about this segment of the movie industry the OTT (over the top) providers (Services like Netflix, Hulu or Disney+ are video OTT services). I’ve actually been in the movie audience industry since childhood.

When I was in grade school, my stepdad got a job as assistant manager and box office cashier at a drive-in theater in Tacoma Washington. No longer in existence. It's now a plot of hundreds of apartments. Not having a lot of money in the 1960s, and him having a day job at a warehouse, every Friday night my family my two siblings and mom and I, would be at the drive-in, in our station wagon to watch whatever film was shown, eating employee discounted snack bar food. It was a good time and I learned a lot about things. I probably shouldn’t have learned some of those things. There is no rating system for films back then. My older brother had a job there, working in the field during the day. My olders sister had a job at the snack bar, in high school. After she left high school, I immediately entered it. Then I had a snack bar job there as cashier, as she did. Eventually, I became a snack bar manager, then also worked in the box office. That all  after my stepdad and his boss, our manager, moved to a brand new shiney Drive-in Theater in south Tacoma.

So that’s the viewer experience end of the movie business. Catering to moviegoers. Now I’m on the back end of that, for movie viewers, viewing from their home or a variety of electronic devices. We’re doing a lot of research in building and learning about film aggregators, and CMS (content management system) platforms. Dealing with investors and bringing on people to support us, as we’re almost immediately having too much work to do for just the three of us. I'm the IT department. I just brought someone on to train up. We had one failure in dropping the first CMS company we tried. A turnkey operation in India. From the start, I liked the platform but there were too many problems, and for us, they were too slow to fix things and be flexible as partners.

Half a mile walked now, taking it very easy on my knee. I’m doing well. Maybe. The VA nurse had told me when this happened on my last walk, how I should always stretch afterwards. I said, "Well, I’ve been on the board of an Aikido nonprofit school for years over a couple decades. I know stretching." I had to quit years ago because of my knees. Five minutes in class, my knees would swell up and I could hardly bend them. So I had to quit. They kindly offered I could just stand all through class and I did that for a class. It’s just not functional. You’re just an apple in a class of oranges. You really need to be able to go down and up and down a whole bunch of times. I do miss it. I started martial arts in 1965, then fighting tournaments beginning that next year. Isshinryu Karate. Aikido and Karate are very different. Aikido is Japanese for one. Karate is Okinawan, invented by unarmed farmers to deal with armed and amored Samurai who had taken over their island. I’ve taken various forms of martial arts over my lifetime until I discovered Aikido in college, in 1980. I’ve never been in a dojo where there is so much smiling and positive energy as an Aikido dojo. Kids just love the classes. More so than I’ve ever seen in Karate classes. My own kids took a form of Karate, we lacked in an Aikido dojo in the vicinity, I put my own kids in a karate dojo just so they would have some of that experience. Even though by then, I was not fully invested in their being in a Karate dojo. It’s better than nothing, but I would prefer Aikido for kids.

Getting back to Aikido, and espionage… Our dojo years ago had a big bear of a guy, who is I believe is Ukrainian. We got talking one day, might’ve been over drinks, out of the dojo, obviously. We both revealed something about our pasts that I’ve just revealed to you here. Him, not knowing any better, he wanted to go into the KGB. And I would argue now, maybe my not knowing any better, I wanted to go into the CIA, or something like it. I never had a desire to wear a uniform, even though I did (USAF). At 19 I took the Tacoma police department exams. I didn’t get it. I was mid-level on the test, not knowing you’re supposed to study for it. But I was way above everybody else on the obstacle course, in my running time. Fastest one that day to be sure by, 10 seconds. I was in the 40's next closest to me was in the 50s. Women were in the 60s (seconds). We were running the Fire Dept.'s obstacle course. I literally flew over it. Ran over the zigzag beams, the raised table, under the table in the sand, up and down the building stairs of several flights. And that was after being slowed down by one of the monitors there, accidentally. She said, "Run up the three flights carrying this 70lb rolled up rug to similate a person, across the top of the building outside, back in, down the stairs, come to me and wait for me to indicate what's next. I did all that, was standing before her again with her clipboard and she just stared at me. I said, "Well? Now what?" She got a shocked look on her face (maybe 5 seconds wasted looking down at her rather attractive face) and she said, "Oh!" Go out that window, back in that one, back out and hit the beginning of the field obstacles." I gave her a disconcerting look so she'd read I was not happy and she'd wasted me time and I took off.

Anyway, my friend at the dojo and I worked out in Akido together, the Ukrainian guy and I, we enjoyed working out together. Both respected each other in that. I said once that we could’ve one night met up accidentally, or on purpose, in a back alley in Berlin, us in the KGB and CIA (or for me maybe as OSI), And probably we would’ve ended up being more friendly. But in considering if we had to oppose one another, we both grimaced. I said, with him being bigger than me, I’d really not want to tangle with you in a dark alley like that. And he, perhaps, kindly said, "Hey, I feel the same way about you." Which I thought was a high compliment. And I said so. But he said, "No I’m serious. I wouldn't want to take you on." Perhaps he knew about my other martial arts history. I don't remember. There were one or two others in our dojo who thought they were pretty hot shit. Especially as I was learning and coming up to speed. They perhaps assuming incorrectly I was new to martial arts, after decades being in it since childhood. And I knew they were better than me, at Aikido, until I got equal to them. What they didn’t realize and I knew back in 2000 when I started at that dojo, I had already had 35 years of experience in other martial arts, which I kept too myself for a while. Aikido is a very different animal. So I was very much a white belt when I took my first college quarter class in 1980. Then returned to it in 1999 or 2000, maybe 2001? When I first heard of a local dojo, my wife read about it actually. She said, "Hey, you said if there’s ever a dojo nearby, you would go to it." She was taunting me some. I said, "You’re right." So I went down to check them out. They received me with friendly, open arms, and the rest is history. Our Sensei always said, "If someone cames into the dojo, welcome them right a way and asnswer any questions. Make them feel at home. Postive energy." And so, anyway, if you go to Hombu dojo in Tokyo, you can look my name registered in their records.

Now about my comments on my orientation, wanting to get into espionage. That came up sometime after high school. I never read spy novels. I read my first spy novel around the time my first born's birth in 1988. Somewhere I had aquired the entire collection of Ian Fleming’s James Bond novels. Old black cover hardback additions. 

My pregnant wife read of them first, after I'd had them for years. I can't remember now where I got them from. I want to say from someone in my family. Perhaps one of my grandparents after they had passed. My wife said they were pretty good. I assumed. She said I should try reading them because I loved the movies. Yes, I loved spy movies. I have to admit to that. I saw "Dr. No" when it first came out, with my mother at the walk-in Community Theater on the corner of 56th & M St. a few houses down and across the street from where she had for a while, grown up, in a house across the street. Later my sister would have her first apartment in that very location, where an apartment building had been constructed replacing a few of the old houses there.

I love the tension and the espionage elements in those movies. Then I saw "Thunderball" with mom, at that theater again, when it came out. Then we saw my favorite, "Goldfinger". And so I read the books. For decades I hadn't wanted to fill up my mind with specifics, that were all fiction. Instead, I had read a lot of books by ex-agents and heads of the CIA and the KGB. Those who had retired and wrote a book, especially after the Soviet Union fell. So finally, I read those James Bond books and was stunned to find how different they were from the movies. And I liked them. By some time in the early 90s, I started to realize, "Hey, you’re not going into espionage, pal." So I started reading that fiction genre and really enjoyed some of them. Like, John le Carré. Who had friends who were spies, so he was good to read. And my favorite author, Len Deighton, who wrote novels that my favorite movie spy, next James Bond, "Harry Palmer" was in, played by Michael Caine in the films. Loved his characterization of that character.

So my point in saying all that, I spent decades, familiarizing myself with espionage and its culture and tactics, and especially the Soviet Union's, and their KGB and I would key into any news about either of them. "Know your enemy well. Better than they do." Which was why, as I’ve said many times, that back in the 1990s, when the still Republican Party started getting so weird and polluted, I started to notice they were using old tried and true Soviet disinformation tactics which only got worse until today. When even traditional Republicans don’t recognize the GOP anymore as an American political party.

So, in this episode of the podcast, they’re interviewing an ex CIA officer who was in Cuba after Pres. Obama nomalized relations, long overdue, greatly because of old Florida Cubans hating their old government, after abandoning Cuba. This CIA officer was talking about his day. He was a new CIA officer back then and he said, "I come home, maybe watch a show on TV and then go to the gym. So people ask anymore, 'What show did you watch?' He laughed, and said, "It’s always Sunny in Philadelphia". Everybody laughs on the podcast. I like this podcast, a lot.

That's it for the day. Got my lame 1 mile in. Headed home. Knee is doing well. This getting old thing, ain't for the young (or the old), to be sure. I remember all the wild things I did when I was younger and thought or someone said, "You'll regret this when you get old." "I'll deal with it then," I'd say, or think. Yeah, thanks younger self, much appreciated. But then, I did have some good times, I do have some great memories.

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #25

 Weather for the day… 35 overcast nice cool day for a walkabout

Short one today. Blame, Kelly. 

Podcast for the day Intelligence Matters episode with "Former CIA Chief Operating Officer on his Career at the CIA". Very interesting. 

Not quite as interesting (nearly) as the podcast I listened to the other day. Pod Save the World episode with "Brittney Griner is Home (with Jen Psaki)" Fascinating episode (both were). The latter thoroughly explaining the reality of why we should want Joe Biden for another term if he's willing to go for it. I was on the line going either way. Now, just for it. Why? Listen to the episode. 

Instagram post for the day from last Friday night when I shot film for a benefit Drag show for anti racism for #JCARF. 

None shot as usual during my walk, oddly enough because Kelly called and we talked for 2 hours about the new streaming movie channel we're building, as I walked.

Yesterday I watched a new series on Netflix, "The Recruit". I like it. It was a lot of fun about the CIA. Nearly cartoonish (or stereotypical) sensibility of working at/for the CIA at some times (making fun of it), extremely accurate at others (and oddly enough in the making fun of it part). Ebert called it "Dull". No idea who the actors are (Some (one) I remember from, for instance, "Orphan Black"). I look forward to a season two.

I’ve been writing my companion book for my filmic poem, and historical documentary, "Pvt. Ravel‘s Bolero". But mostly I have been working on the new streaming movie channel, getting it up and running. 

In the book I had hit a section about "combined forces" in war and I was trying to remember the three types of intelligence in HUMINT (Human Intelligence), SIGINT (Signals Intelligence) and one that for the life of me I couldn’t remember all week, and couldn’t find references to it online either. But just remembered it, ELINT. Electronics Intelligence. Now they have it broken down in more parts and differently. From the book.

"As well as integrating the five distinct modern intelligence disciplines: CI (counterintelligence), HUMINT (Human Intelligence), IMINT (Imagery Intelligence), MASINT (Measures and Signature Intelligence), and SIGINT (Signals Intelligence)."

It was about here that Kelly called and we started talking about the streaming movie network. We were kicking around ideas about format and genres and how other streamers work and are set up. We got off topic a few times. 

Mostly I can't talk about what we were talking about. So, sorry about that. But it will be more obvious next month.

Today finally, I got in five miles. Last two few walks were only four. I had a good time yesterday. Big glass of wine with lunch, some food all day that would have left me ill today from long covid but nope. Feeling pretty good. Also noticed yesterday that I don't have to take Benadryl so much. If I can ignore any blood pressure issues, they fade after 20-39 minutes rather than causing me grief. I always try to stop taking meds as soon as is reasonable and useful. And that's all in my book on long covid. Of course I'm sharing a link to it...

Cheers! Slainte!

America's Dezinformatsiya and компрометирующий

I've been avoiding political blog postings for a bit but now it's time to revisit that. I'm busy working on my re-draft of The Teenage Bodyguard with a Hollywood producer and I'm approaching the end of principal photography on my project from one of my previously published short stories ("Gumdrop City"), titled, "Gumdrop, a short horror". You can see shots on my Instagram account of some production stills from the set.

Okay, first for a little background.

Beginning in the early 80s when I was at Western Washington University, I began to notice some odd things. I was doing a lot of research in the University Library toward my psychology degree. One day I was talking to someone and they pointed a certain book out to me. They said I could find it in the library where I was spending massive amounts of time.

WWU Library

There were days when I got out of class, went to the library and was there until closing and went home and continued studying with my girlfriend who lived with me. We were a team. We amazed even our departmental advisor. We studied together, were in some of the same classes and could finish one another's thoughts to a dazzling degree.

WWU campus in Bellingham, WA

This was noticed one day by said professor who was himself one of our top professors in psychology nationwide. We were focusing in our studies on the theoretical of phenomenology and of processes and systems. This professor one day tested us in front of the class and we proved ourselves valid and highly functional. My point being, we were advancing faster together than most students and were told we were at the very top of our class, even across the nation.

One day I got into that book. I looked up a corporation on my and who actually owned it and fell down a kind of corporate rabbit hole that led to some very interesting and disturbing connections. I traced who owned that corporation, and who owned that one and in the end, I was stunned by who owned that primary umbrella corporation. Then I checked others. The more I checked the fewer I found. And the more disturbing connections popped up.

Meaning that many corporations were owned by a few, or one entity and some foreign corporations, leading to other questions. Now, many do know about that. Many would say, "Yeah, sure, so what?"

But it was about more than that. It was beyond disturbing to at times, frightening. But I dropped it, as it would have taken all my time and I had little time as it was to get my studies done, my papers written and turned in. But I kept an eye on things over the years, over the decades. And what I was seeing became ever more and more concerning...bringing us up to, today.

Over that next year or so I continued to look into it on the side as I had time. When doing my research I would stumble upon something, spend fifteen minutes going down that rabbit hole then go back to my primary effort for classes toward my whatever article I was preparing toward my psych degree.

My best effort in psychology may have been a paper I delivered in my final year on schizophrenia and synesthesia, about how one might help the study of the other. When I delivered it in my senior seminar on abnormal psychology it stunned both my class of eight and our prof. There was not a lot on synesthesia back then.

It is now available today to everyone, all these many years later, as an ebook and an audiobook. Of course, it doesn't have the same punch or import today as it once did in 1984 but the concept of using one toward another is and it has been my most downloaded ebook for years.

Years before that after graduating high school in 1973 I was planning a career in espionage (I eventually entered the USAF and at the end of my first term was accepted into the OSI), I had started studying the Soviets, KGB tactics, and the history and nomenclature and tactics of espionage.

Back in the early 1970s I read a book by a general who pretty much ran the Vietnam war. I believe it was Gen. William Joseph Westmoreland. A very respected general who went down his own rabbit hole and because of rather a laughing stock.

In reading his book and looking into his contentions I discovered not his veracity but my first conspiracy theory. I believe it was published by a small publisher who published such books and I can now, not find a copy or reference to that book anywhere. Which is telling.

However, rather than many would do in looking deeper and deeper into HIS conspiracy, perhaps allowing cognitive bias to enter the picture, I instead began studying what conspiracies and the theories themselves actually were.

I found most of them are nonsense. But I discovered the dynamics of conspiracy theory and those it affects and did my best from then on to avoid that nonsense but to do actual research and adhere to research methodology and reality itself. That has put me against a lot of people over my lifetime who believe in utter nonsense. And it has gotten only worse in recent times and since the advent of the internet to the general public and the world.

There is a way to research these conspiracies. Something most conspiracy theorists fail to follow and thus, fall down their own sad rabbit holes. The advent of the internet has merely exacerbated that syndrome.

I've used due diligence to avoid that myself and also in being a university-trained researcher and not some armchair nutcase political quarterback and have done well having debunked many conspiracy theories rather quickly. Which always amazed me how others do not see the obvious but continued instead on along their dark paths utterly wasting their time. QAnon is a recent addition to the white noise of conspiracy theories.

QAnon terminology

I began telling people what I knew about what I had found regarding corporations. My older brother still remembers me after college telling him to stop looking at what he had been and at countreisa and start watching what multinational corporations were doing.

I then began to notice a convergence of Soviet/KGB tactics and corporate actions. In the 1990s I began to notice the Republican party stepping over the line of spin and politics and enter the shady realms of social engineering in KGB style tactics which they have continued and multiplied against the American people, to this day and in that direction. Because these tacts are effective.

With great reticence I watched Putin become the leader of Russia in 1999 and worried openly to others about it ever since. He has maintained power against all reality and odds, greatly to the detriment of not just the Russian people, but all of America and western democracy.

After 9/11 the GOP fell down its own rabbit hole as if a gift handed to them and aided by their leaders and others, as in the NRA and as in Russia. This is not a conspiracy. It's facts, it's public knowledge and it's actions compiled together as we get a picture of the forest for the trees and not really missing anything in the process.

Many refuse to believe any of this because it is so open and obvious and so they believe, it simply cannot be. But the best covert actions are held in public view. From one of my great authorial heroes:

"The best place to hide is in plain sight. – Edgar Allan Poe, in The Purloined Letter"

Another favorite of mine and I have his books too, is the British magician who helped in the WWII effort as his father and grandfather before him had done in their wars, Jasper Maskelyne. The Fischer book, "The War Magician" is a good read, but factually errs fairly often apparently.

I mention all this because "magic", camouflage and covert ops are best done in the open leading to an innate disbelief in what they are actually doing. So what? Well, we now have a president doing all this in plain sight and his supporters cannot believe the contentions against him. Some quite well proven by now. We have multinational corporations doing this. and we have the Russian cyber machine doing this to destroy confidence in America regarding our culture and elections.

Russian intelligence and their organized crime connections, always a branch of the Soviet and then the Russian government and now along with the internet, have allowed for fairly cheap, enhanced covert operations... from afar.

The GOP and the Russians began to converge now many years ago. When I say "Russians" I mean, their government in Putin, his Oligarchs, the Russian mafia interests, Russian intelligence services, and yes...multinational corporations.

Because they are all in this together, apart. And that is what makes all this very difficult to "see" or believe. Or to counteract. While our intelligence services know of it all, or much of it, laws and leadership deny too much of it all and little and at times nothing, gets done to counter it. Though we are catching up...finally.

Still, it is criminal activities like this in America that led to our need to create the RICO laws. And so now too we need new laws and processes to cover this kind of multinational anti-American activity.

It is very likely that in many cases, the Russians, the GOP, and corporations were working apart, separately, just on similar agendas but for perhaps, very different reasons. Though it matters little when the damages done are so very much the same.

One does not avoid someone like the Russians when using their tactics. As eventually, you will find yourself in bed with them. Even if you never talk together. It wouldn't be unusual for those types to rationalize their behaviors as "absolutely not", Russian, or in the Russian interset. Or the old Soviet interests. But that is indeed the mindset of criminals, and bad people everywhere in thinking they are good while doing bad all along.

Then Trump arrives on the scene as POTUS and... now we've come full circle.

This is by no means a conspiracy theory. Some just want you to believe that. It's not a Hollywood spy movie. It is not just grand gestures by a James Bond/Ian Fleming style "worldwide evil" organization.

In many cases it is individuals, it is faint actions nudging things in a certain direction for varied reasons. Not coordinated, rather just an agenda and an ideology. It is essentially, greed. And in some cases in as Putin, hatred, of western democracy and a loss of Russian stature. It is desire. For money, for power, for position. For Nationalistic pursuites. For racist pursuits. For the worst of us, not the best, but in believing in ones' own tribe that it is the best. That is the White Supremacist's belief after all.

"Terrorism: Ideology w/out grievances doesn't resonate & grievances w/out ideology are not acted upon. Indeed, there be 2 sides to this coin." - Mubin Shaikh

Ideology without grievances is very little, just as grievances without ideology are nothing. But together, as we've seen through Donald Trump, they are a powerful force toward putting a minority against the majority and then against all odds, to see themselves in positions of power.

It is how fascism and such have always things worked. It is how they are working today.

This is our New Reality. Forged by the GOP. With help from American multinational corporations, or at least those in control of such entities. And it is something our friendly-nation friends like the UK, France, Germany, and others have actually warned us of! Repeatedly. While many of our own, mostly conservatives leaders have denied again and again and again.

Our own people in intelligence, who do not deal in FAKE NEWS, but rather raw intelligence and solidified information, know much of all this.

There is indeed FAKE NEWS, but it is merely real news that some like Trump simply do not like as it uncovers their actions so often hidden right there before us in plain site. There is disinformation (dezinformatsiya) and compromising information (компрометирующий), and there is more going on than most of us aware of all this, are even aware of. But it will all, ore mostly, come out, eventually. It always does. 

Our own intelligence agencies have tried to inform us, but they are constrained by the nature of their jobs and by those in power who do not wish to be exposed, in restraining them. Those such as Donald Trump, to be sure. And such as we've now been seeing, in Mitch McConnel, Senate Majority Leader. Sadly.

To be fair, McConnell and many Republicans today were off on the wrong foot from day one in their platform, their confused and misled conservative agenda, their mistaken ideology. Yet, it's odd how closely aligned it is or has become, with the Russians.

Not (most of) the Russian people, but Putin and those of his, in power. Those who refuse to give the Russian people a free and fair society. And like us, they want one. Those people in power claim they are what we aren't and aren't the crazed Americans with their racism.

Because Putin, just like Trump now, fears to leave power to then be available for prosecution. Putin has been winning, but Trump is in America and we do yet still have a chance at bringing him down for any criminal activities he has been involved in, or is still involved in.

Again, this is not a conspiracy. The information is mostly out here for us all to see. We just have to, if not want to see it, allow ourselves to see it. Before it's too late. And it may already be. Just as with climate change that has been sped up through human mechanized actions since the 19th century.

We are all seeing it plain as day while it is to far for too many as it somehow means it's all not real. To them it's just diatribe, partisan smear campaigns. And yet, these things are still happening, the intelligence agencies continue to accrue this information as we strive to bring it to light through Congressional action, if not now through legal judicial means and impeachment.

All while Mitch McConnell does what he can to avoid that. Why? Because he is in this for himself, for Trump, for Russia, Putin? Or for America?

And now we have new issues to be concerned with as one leaked executive order indicates that it would let US Government control our social media. As the article indicates:

"Trump wants to do something most Twitter users could only dream about: enlisting the federal government to make sure his posts get more engagement."

What?

So, now what do we do? We end this regime and replace it with an American one. A fully American one.

And that includes what is going on with the NRA. As well as the GOP. We should obviously keep an eye on the DNC. But to be fair, they are already headed in a very American direction of inclusivity and diversity. They always have been more so than the GOP in recent decades for that matter.

America is here, still.

We just have to continue to fight for her. And for US all. 

American Zeitgeist and White House Lies

I'm feeling emotionally shaken inside right now. No, not about a movie. But kind of.

I was watching the director's cut on Netflix of Fair Game about when the Bush white house outed a CIA officer, Valerie Plame and tried to destroy her husband Joe Wilson. Because Joe spoke the truth and they wanted to destroy him, through attack his wife. A CIA officer of distinction. They slandered them both. This is well-documented int heir books, both of which I recommend reading. Note that it was a Republican administration who did this.

Valerie Plame and husband, Joe Wilson

I've seen this film three times now. I've read both their books long ago. I have for decades had an understanding of the processes and history of covert ops related to American, British, Russian and world history as well as related to this particular and disgusting situation.

There is a scene where Joe and Valerie are arguing and she wants him to stop because he's considering going up against the White House. Because it is the right thing to do.

Played by actors Naomi Watts and Sean Penn

In the heat of their argument, he asks her if he shouts louder than her, does that make him right? If the White House shouts a million times louder than him, does that make them right?

Then he says the words that shook me...

"They lied, Valerie. They lied!"

The White House ... lied. Once. One lie. Many small lies really that led to one big one...the Iraq War. And 100,000s of dead. A region destabilized. And many more bad decisions in the aftermath all because... no one planned for what to do once Iraq was defeated.

It was a war where the George W. Bush White House forced our intelligence community into finding intel that would support exactly what they wanted to do. Intel, that simply didn't exist. Some of that intel that Joe Wilson tried to tell the administration and the country, simply did not exist.

Some in our intelligence community also refused and were replaced with those who wouldn't.

Until they found someone in the Middle East who would supply the lies needed to give the White House, exactly what they wanted. That, along with other disinformation and...

It was all a lie. A very big lie.

And yet, I compare that lie and those times to today with a Donald J Trump administration and a collusive GOP. A Republican party and theirs in Congress who have turned too often, a blind eye toward what a president has done, is doing and plans to continue doing.

And so I feel now that that lie, those lies, during the Bush administration were somehow... quaint.

Almost refreshing in their level of at least attempting to appear "honest".

And it was that, which shook me to my very core.

US Attacked with Mind Control Weapons?

First off, today is Memorial Day. I was in the military myself years ago. It paid for my college and university degrees (thanks everyone!) And I know not all of us are that lucky and instead have massive college debt. But, that's another topic for another time (and one that needs to be addressed).
I have to say, having had an appreciation of the military before hand, after serving in the military, I had an even better understanding of it all.

Memorial Day is a day for reflection and appreciation of all those who have gone before us, died for us, for their beliefs in our country, and for all those who currently serve and are daily in harm's way. We thank you all!

That being said, with so many false narratives lately, postured patriotism and disingenuous partisanship, a word from our President...our FIRST President:

Now, for today's blog....

BEIJING — An American government employee posted in southern China has signs of possible brain injury after reporting disturbing sounds and sensations, the State Department said on Wednesday, in events that seemed to draw parallels with mysterious ailments that struck American diplomats in Cuba.- New York Times

What in the hell exactly is going on here?

If I had to guess with a gun to my head, I'd have to lean toward the plausibility of it being Putin yet again. Another Russian operation. It just fits the scenario we're seeing. Beginning in Cuba, moving to China. Russia has traditionally and historically had easy access to Cuba, to do things both with and without government knowledge.

So Cuba may be telling the truth about their ignorance and if it's Russia they may not have wanted to share or alert Cuban officials for obvious reasons.

In then doing this in Chian, Russia may feel they are thinning the argument against them. And as well, double bonus, sending a warning signal to China... and others.

Pretty slick if you think about it. But has a Donald Trump feel to it also, if you keep thinking about it. Not that he did it, but a dramatic mentality he might dream up. Along with a lack of associated ethical implications and considerations.

Of course we know about Chinese black hat hackers like China Eagle, funded by the Chinese military. But the Russians have been the biggest threat to us of late. Obviously they have been researching and applying that in operations against us. Well, in part it's what we do to one another. We have done some underhanded things to be sure, but Russia under Putin certainly, isn't constrained by the same considerations we are, do to the nature of our government. And perhaps, mindset? Maybe.

It may not even have been a weapon directed AT us, but a weapon, more ingenuously, using the components already in place, or perhaps, subtly added to.

Here's an article on that.

These types of weapons are no longer the purview of science fiction. Many of them are now science fact, with more are to come. Apparently some of those which the American government are developing came to light recently in accidentally disclosed documents through a FOIA (Freedom Of Information Act) request.

To anyone paying attention this isn't news, overall. Regardless, the specifics are indeed fascinating.

"Forced orgasm?" They could make a killing on that alone.Seriously, if some people would just get laid, they just might mellow out. I jest. Sort of. But others just need to get relax, smoke a joint, stop the alcohol or pills, or perhaps...simply have a drink.

Who knows, maybe they've discovered THE anti war weapons: Forced Orgasm. There are already several in popular and branded culture. The Orgasmatron. Cultural examples have been in various incarnations by name and otherwise. As in Barbarella, called the Excessive Machine, a famous scene in cinema. Or Woody Allen's Sleeper. And Motorhead's album of the same name.

I've experienced that transparent eyelid thing myself. It's weird, disconcerting when I'm trying to go to sleep. Too much mind, I think, as my Aikido Sensei liked to say. It's like a dream stare overtaking a waking state and you can "see" what you can't see.

I remember studying that in M. Merleau-Ponty's book Phenomenology of Perception in college toward my psychology degree. I taught it to my kids and have used the concept in my novella, Andrew.

Seeing things that aren't able to be seen and yet, you can see them, and so on. It's also useful for martial reasons. For instance, one can hit a target that can't be seen clearly with bullet, throwing knife (or dart) or arrow. I've done that many times. Initially to my great surprise. My college archery instructor taught it to us, though I'd already known about it for some time.

Some simply call it, Zen. I believe Zen in the Art of Archery may even discuss it. One tries to aim when the target CAN be seen and yet miss, but in using one's mind, it can be hit seemingly way too accurately.

I don't doubt that any of what's on that diagram is in research stages, though it doesn't mean they've already achieved it, fully. Or was it not an accidental release at all? As for thoughts, we're doing interesting research and products on that, but not in a direct way we'd expect. Rather in a roundabout way of achieving similar results and a little less exciting that it at first sounds.

Or, maybe they're just staring at goats again.

I'm glad we're researching these things though. I've been a proponent of non lethal weapons for years. We have GOT to stop relying so heavily upon firearms. Just as we have to do the same for internal combustion engines and using fossil fuels as sources of energy. They're anachronistic, archaic, and it's time to look to the future and put behind us our childish ways.

I'm not complaining here about other countries having these weapons. That was bound to happen. My concern is the same obvious concern anyone would have in hearing these news reports. Essentially terrorist tactics to harm people doing nothing overtly to harm those attacking them.

I understand for instance, general tactics of espionage. I get harassing foreign agents, especially in countries not of either combatant's. I also understand the concept, in place for hundreds of years  if not thousands, of leaving known agents in place to monitor and gleam intelligence from them, if not at times to also feed false intel to.

But to do damage to others, to those not directly in the field against your own agents, is unacceptable. People working in offices? Really?

Regardless, it seems pretty clear this is Russia.

It also seems pretty clear that both Russia AND America have problems with who their current leaders are. Both of which have been in office for far too long for the sanity and safety of either country, or the entire world.

Putin has been in power far too long at the detriment of his country and their reputations. Trump should never have been allowed anywhere near the White House and our reputation has been damaged in only a single year. That as well as regulations, protections, laws and issues of trust will take us years if not decades to rectify.

So many years of hard work, of people dying for our cause, have been damaged or destroyed by only one narcissist, one Russian Oligarch style man as our president, as POTUS. Term limits, if not special prosecutors, may be our saving grace. And luckily people around the world are aware we change presidents at least every two terms of four years ago. Our government overall is strong, weakened only recently by a defective nationalism mindset and populism run amuck.

We are living in interesting times. So pay attention.

Because what is happening during this period will be discussed and studied for many decades to come.

SPECIAL - Gina Haspel and Her First Female Director CIA Nomination

I don't feel good in supporting someone Donald Trump does, but he's bound to get something right as POTUS. And I think this is one.

Being an intellectual and with knowledge of the CIA and covert intelligence mechanism in general as well as how covert operations work and the dynamics therein, I have the following orientation on this topic. IF I did not, being the progressive I am and have been, I would possibly be against Gina Haspel.

For I see others like me, who are against her. But I feel in their good intentions, they are simply ignorant overall of how and what we're dealing with here. Even in the knowledge and intelligence of them of them, such as Kamala Harris, who unlike Fox News' juvenile opinion, had very succinct and direct questions, unlike some of the confirmation hearing.

I agree with Michael Hayden who said we NEED someone who will stand up to our questionably qualified POTUS. With all his people whittled down to the current YES men and women, who is telling this child president what reality is? Whomever you'd name, they're not enough. And who from intelligence would really push back on Trump's childish rantings?

That's Gina. Flat out.

If we really want to re-litigate CIA overreach in enhanced interrogations, then it should be those who ordered it, not those who were in the trenches and abandoned or abused later. Look, if you treat someone like Gina this way after what America demanded back in the day, then stop asking those things of our people and later abusing them for it.

As she has said today when testifying she would not follow an illegal order from the president. Odd that is actually a serious potential concern with Donald Trump but we've already seen that to be a serious concern. When you do put people in harm's way, as Gina was, don't later disingenuously claim ignorance and damn them for it.

And that, goes on up the chain right to George W. Bush, the #Republican party and their toxic #GOP methodologies of subverting America.

If you think this is a bad idea, you're just not fully informed and have only a Fox News level and mediocre orientation on this matter.

Let me give you another perspective on Gina Haspel, who, if she gets the position, will be the FIRST FEMALE head of the CiA!

Here's my point.

We had a chance for a woman to become the FIRST AMERICAN FEMALE PRESIDENT..

But NO. People allowed themselves to be easily swayed not to vote for her, which played right into Russia, Putin, Republican party and Donald Trump's grubby little hands.

Remember, if you didn't vote for her, you are part of that. Whatever your reasons.

NOW we have an opportunity for the FIRST HEAD OF THE CIA and what happens?

People are finding reasons not to let that happen. Again. Another women cvould lead but no, a woman has to be perfect to lead, unlike most of the make leaders.

WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Are you children? Religius with juvenile views of reality? Virgins? I really don't get it.

We're losing to Republicans and conservatives repeatedly because of crap like this!

You don't get to have the perfect person to be the first.And this is really so very important.

On top of which she really is a very good, excellent choice even. But not, not touchy feely enough for you because of following orders at a time that was patently schizophrenic. And now people want to judge when they are calm, feeling safe, not terrorized, as happened back then and I SAID BACK THEN, THIS WAS THE KIND OF CRAP WE'D SEE AND...HERE WE ARE.

We demanded things of the military and intelligence communities I didn't want, they didn't want but it was shoved down their throats. I knew, and they knew they would be the ones to suffer later, and right then if they refused and would be called traitors. Don't remember what it was like then?

JUST THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MINUTE. I get not wanting her because Trump chose her, I fully get that and I hate he agrees with me. But that's how it is. You don't get a perfect situation to make a woman first in anything and that's how it's going to be UNTIL YOU START PUTTING WOMEN IN CHARGE OF THINGS.

No! De Vos was a horrible choice, but hey, she's there. Now we have a woman I'd bet my life on, but she's not good enough? I wouldn't trust De Vos (or her brother, Erik Prince) to hold my lunch money.

What pisses me off about all this is I said this would happen and here we are, throwing those under the bus who did what we demanded.

Shame, America. All that talk about "Thank you for your service", but this. What do you think soldiers do in war? Hypocrites.

Stand behind the people you send out into harm's way who sacrifice to protect us.

Don't treat them like trash later when your senses return, when the Zeitgeist changes, and when you feel you can now feel pretty and judge others for our acts.

That's it. I'm done. Just consider the next time a woman, appropriate for an important position is up for it, will you support her, or pick at her to find a reason for her to not take the position.

Then wonder if you REALLY DO want women to have positions of importance.

Good grief. America gave Donald J Trump the presidency. And Gina can't head the CIA? Hillary couldn't be president?

Give me a break!

It's weird watching the Gina Haspel hearing and feeling on the side of mostly Republicans.

Surreal, distasteful considering their behaviors of late. It's like that hearing doesn't remember America just a few years ago.

Dems are playing Devil's advocate and that is good, but some very stupid questions, redundancies, lack of reality and history and I find it, disconcerting.

I'm used to Democrats not being bold enough, not fighting hard enough, while not being this foolish. In the most part they're asking the wrong questions. If feels like they don't like her just because Trump does, but let's not act like Trump as he does against Obama. Let's make the best choice.

As for those videos (echoes again of emails?), when I heard they were destroyed years ago, I said good! Because in the future there WILL be a REAL witch hunt, and... here we are. As the Bush administration was forcing things onto our intelligence community, I could foresee the future abuse of our intel officers in the future, it was obvious it would happen. The point being, if  they were going to ask too much, then stand by your people. Who are now being thrown under the bus. It was bound to happen.

I was against torture from the beginning, but if Bush was going to force it, as he did, then let's not wipe out our intelligence community now over leader's damages to the CIA and democracy. This, is ignorance. IF you want to do something now that is decent, put Bush on trial for the murder of thousands and thousands of Iraqis and Americans and others because of an illegal war they knew was illegal but had plausible deniability over. Which they built into it. But let's not now take it out on our foot soldiers.

Yes, we should be pissed, we should not ever have been torturing. But we were scared, we were afraid, and acting as such. Remember that. We acted like frightened children, striking out in the dark. I was embarrassed for us at the time. I still am. And this makes it worse because the reality I saw coming, is here.

We also have to protect and serve. Just let them do that. And don't ask of these people, what you will later chastise them for.

Seeing, what is really there

This blog came up because of my trying to fathom the minds of extreme conservatives, Republicans of late, the Tea Party, Fox News, and well, that whole entire mess. In talking to conservative acquaintances, many things have come up. Not a few of which have left us both feeling in the end, frustrated.

I can't convince them to see my point of view, they can't convince me to see theirs. But, I have a few things on my side that tend to validate my views and opinions, more than theirs. That is to say, their mindset has a few downsides.

For one they watch Fox News, a notoriously questionable network due to their ridiculous concern of market share over news facts. They also don't try to verify facts very well, if at all. Instead they have a mindset that tries to verify their mindset. Not a bad thing per se, with the correct checks and balances, but they usually don't have those.

For myself, I'm not that attached to my view points. I'm attached to whatever verifiable reality actually is. Actuality over reality. I approach achieving my beliefs in a completely different manner, from what I can gather, than how they do. But enough of them and their intellectual down sides.

On my side I do have a few things going for me. Allow me to try and clarify....

When I was younger, I was very interested in the Cold War as I was on a path back then to a job within that insanity. I have now a certificate on my wall, signed by a government agency, thanking me for my efforts during that mostly behind the scenes, war of the wills, that from time to time left cold bodies along dark road sides. Sometimes bullet ridden, blown up in cars, or even as in one extreme example, poisoned by a signature plutonium micro-pellet riddled with microscopic holes delivered by the end of an umbrella device carried by a Soviet agent.

Even before that, my youth was a path straight into the field of espionage.

I had studied Martial Arts beginning in grade school. This was my primary orientation for the first part of my life. I was the one new kids got stuck with because I was a good trainer with novices and a good leader. I had to see what was, what they had, what they could handle, interpret that back to the ignorant, in a way that would move them quickly along. That laid a foundation for me throughout my life where I was a good team leader, accurate and effective. Bruce Lee, in this video (at 5:35) says that Martial Arts are a way to "express oneself honestly. Not lying to oneself...that my friend, is what you do." This was the foundation for who I was then and who I still am now.

In Junior High I was a Flight Commander in Civil Air Patrol (Wikipedia article) where we studied aerospace history as well as physically performing search and rescue missions finding downed aircraft in the Cascade mountains. I got my RadioTelegraph Operator's license, instructed cadets in my Flight in military march and drill and served (believe it or not), as a role model. I flew in small planes and landed my first plane in eighth grade at Tacoma Industrial Airport by Gig Harbor, Washington. I also took pilot ground school through our squadron. We were taught how to rely on what actually is, not what we believed in, but what we knew to be true in order to save and protect lives.

I was also on a private youth rifle team in junior high sanctioned by our local police department. I got my High School sports letter from three years on the Rifle Team. I was an illegal street racer. I got my SCUBA diving license (NAUI) in 10th grade. I took my first sky diving jump at seventeen, the only one to land on the LZ (landing zone) that day.

At eighteen I spent my first time with someone for a week, armed, acting as her bodyguard until she could leave town to avoid local organized crime related to a murder at the time and which I'm currently working on a screenplay about.

I spent the first part of my life studying, reading, watching, and talking to people about espionage, the Soviet KGB, our own CIA, and so on. Those studies included world wars, spy craft, history in general, and the rest that would entail.

At eighteen, I took Criminal Evidence for Police from a veteran cop at Tacoma Community College. For many years, that teacher had been the partner of famous retired LAPD officer turned novelist, Joeseph Wambaugh of The Blue Knight novel fame (and others), which lead to the seminal TV show. That class was the beginning of giving me a way to order up my thoughts that meshed well with how I naturally thought since I first began reading the classics, like Aristotle, in fifth grade.

None of that is bragging. I merely mention it as foundation for what I am about to say next.

I used to read only non-fiction espionage books by ex-spies and defectors, ex-spy leaders and ex-government officials from our government and others, both friend and foe. I refused to read spy books back then out of fear of it contaminating my catalog of information. A catalog that one day could save my life. I applied to the Tacoma Police Department at nineteen but they gave the available jobs to only minorities that year due to a new law that had just come into effect.

I went into the Air Force at twenty the next year as a Law Enforcement Specialist. Before I got out four years later, I applied to join the USAF Office of Special Investigations. When the OSI CO at that base asked me why I wanted to join them, I said that it was just a step in a path I was on and that all through my life, it was almost as if someone were directing me into this field (which is why I mentioned all that previously above). In the end, that Commanding Officer said that I had the highest score he had ever seen on an OSI entrance exam. Before and after the testing, I had many "interviews" with him until finally, I was accepted and given my papers.

In picking a base to be stationed to, when he asked what I wanted out of that career, I said I was hoping at some point to get into being a courier, or some other job like that which I might not at that time even know about. I said that while I am in the OSI I wanted to learn all I could about the job. So he suggested for me request being assigned to the base (now closed) in the Philippines called, Clark AFB.

That surprised me as I'd expected (hoped for) Europe or Asia, thereby closer to our primary foe, the KGB. I asked him why. He said that I if really wanted to learn all about the job, that was the place to go, because that base had the highest amount of theft of any of our air bases in the world. That was the place, he said, where I would have to fill out a lot of forms and in fact would learn all the forms in the catalog there. I just frowned.

I told him that although I appreciated that, it wasn't what I had meant. When he asked for me to clarify, I explained that I was more interested in field work than paperwork. I explained a little more and his eyes lit up with understanding.

"In that case," he said, "you'll want to go to Berlin." He said that in fact there was currently a job available there that no one seemed to want to fill, as the job has been open for a while.

I asked why. He said that the agent who had vacated the position, had been leaving work at the end of a work day, had gotten into his car, and it exploded, killing him. When I asked who did that, he just gave me an odd look. I shook my head not understanding but started to get the clue. He nodded as in, "you know". So I said, "KGB?" He tilted his head slightly, then nodded, which I took to mean that there was no knowing for sure, but that was the reasonable, accepted conclusion. So, no one wanted that job as no one wanted to get blown up.

Then he said, "If you want to learn how to deal with other agencies like that, then Berlin [in 1979], would be the number one place to go." Immediately, I said, "Sign me up." He said okay, and to come back the next day. I returned the next day and got my paperwork which I still have.

My life took a turn that winter and as it turned out, I got out instead, got divorced, and ended up going to college. Eventually, I got a degree from Western Washington University in Psychology in their Awareness and Reasoning division, and Phenomenology, with a minor in Creative Writing and script and screenwriting.

Now at this point, let me point something out.

I just said that I was initially vetted over a few months and accepted into the USAFOSI. But before that, I never did get to be a Law Enforcement Specialist. I was cut from that in Basic Training due to issues around my having flat feet.

The reason I am telling you this now is that disinformation, and misinformation, the manipulation of information without being fully untrue, is running rampant in our media and news media, our party platforms and political organizations, today. I could have told you when I mentioned my situation with USAF Law Enforcement, but in not doing so, I set that into your mind, to give myself more authority, even though I later took it back. This may sound like hogwash, but it does work when dealing with masses of people, in statistical relevance. We are being bombarded with this kind of thing, being manipulated like this, constantly.

Even though I never was a cop, an OSI agent, or a spy, up until the time (and after) that I got out of the Air Force and decided not to go into that career area, I had focused, studied and oriented my life toward that lifestyle.

Spies are scenario builders. They have to be, their lives depends on it. Even in the back of one's mind in that field, one has to consider all possible scenarios and play them out ahead of time, so that when whatever might happen, happens, you have hopefully previously considered it and have a plan of action set in mind. Sometimes what makes someone seem like a genius, is simply pre-planning or at very least, pre-consideration. That leaves you more time in not being surprised by unexpected elements and with more options available in a smaller amount of time, in a possibly deadly situation.

It was damaging for me to change my life course midway as I had. It made my life difficult for years after, but I still retained that format of analyzing information with the thought that my life may depend on my having the most accurate information at hand. I've been in many situations where I had to make a snap decision to save myself or others and well, I'm still here. And so are they.

The one thing that has been a guiding light to me in all my life has been in search and support of the Truth. My attitude generally speaking, has been mercenary. When I'm paid by someone or some group, when I decide to accept a position, I fulfill that position to the best of my ability. Who within that group I am focused on serving, is a sliding rule, because the mission and the truth, are what matter. But I don't want to explain all the ins and outs of that here and now.

In Psychology we were taught how to read and write Psychology journal articles for peer reviewed magazines. These are difficult to read (and write) and have statistics in them, which you also have to understand, as it's very easy to skew stats to one's whims. I had to take a year of Psychology Statistics for that and it was very hard and quite miserable to suffer through.

What is important to me in life, is not that I prove my case so much as to prove the right case, honing that case to what is the greatest truth that is possible to discover. I have never had a problem telling someone at work that a mistake was made and it was my fault. Other people after all, matter; I'm not all important, even if it costs me.

In the beginning when I was younger, I had no problem with doing the government's bidding; even if that meant fulfilling my orders in being directed to kill someone. I would assume there was good reason behind it. This is not an unusual mindset for any young military type.

As I got older and with all my reading and learning, I started to see that life is not like in the old film Westerns. Life is grey, many and varied shades of grey. I've grown up a lot and learned the hard way that what you think is true, may have merely been set up for you to think that way; so that it may seem like one thing, but really be another.

I also dove into and swam through the conspiracy theory thing back in my late teens. Once I first ran into that, realized it was a theory (or syndrome), I studied what it was all about, the theory behind a conspiracy theory, and the people who tend to fall for them. One needs to understand about conspiracy theories before getting involved in any one conspiracy theory. To understand that, you have to have a handle on information theory, crowd theory, a whole plethora of theories. When you understand that, you can pick apart much of the bad information we hear in the media today and more easily separate out all the better, the good information. When you understand that you can all the better also disseminate your own precisely flawed, targeted information.

That is something that the Soviets, the Russian people, were expert in. We learned much from British MI6 and their knowledgebase, which they shared with us and even more so at the end of WWII when the Germans ceased to be the problem and the Soviets rapidly became one. The Brits knew about a lot about that through the centuries as they were at odds with the Russians and various other European countries throughout history. We learned a lot from the Brits about all that, and they from the Soviets and the Russians before them.

The KGB invented disinformation. Something that our national news media and politics have been picking up on of late, esp., Fox News and the Republican and Tea Parties. Others too are picking up on it.

It's been my experience however that the shadier types usually learn this first and then the other sides pick up on it sheerly out of self-defense and eventually learn to turn it into an offense. At times our own CIA has even used it inadvertently against the American people when publishing to foreign press, but then newer news media naively filtered it back home. So it has been a hard row to hoe for the CIA over the years as they are accountable to us, even though it may not seem that way at times.

It is in having gone through all these things that I have mentioned here, as to why I have a good background for what I see and hear going on all around me in the world; and why I believe I have a good orientation and background for fathoming and sussing out what the truth is much of the time; even through our own sad news media.

However, I get it wrong at times too. One's insight is only as good as whatever information can be accessed. I try to access as much accurate and disparate info as possible, in the best journalist sense by attempting to find the greatest truths and any associated "truths".

In the 1990s I was a Senior Technical Writer. That required, especially on the high level IT teams I was assigned to, a fairly high degree of accuracy and effectiveness. Otherwise, you were out the door pretty quickly.

When I finally decided to seriously go into fiction writing I realized that all that wasted and now useless information I had assimilated on the KGB and the Cold War, wasn't actually that useless. Though the Soviet KGB is no more, it is replaced now by the Russian FSB. Maybe the data I had wasn't so useful anymore, but that style of thinking, of analysis, the scenario building, the vetting of sometimes dubious or misleading information, all port over quite well into writing fiction.

This article wasn't supposed to be about me. I'm pretty much beside the point.

I just thought I could use my outlook and background to point out how it can be different than what one might consider to be the norm. My point in talking about all this was simply to show how I see things, differently. But then I've been told that I see things differently, going back as young as I can remember. Most importantly, I just wanted to try to point out a way to look at all this. To try and explain it in another way, in the hope that it may open some people up to vet their opinions differently, to re-evaluate their assumptions; to be more careful and circumspect on their beliefs. Even their deepest held and most cherished ones.

So I put it to you that all in all, through all my education, orientation and experiences, going up against conservatives who watch Fox News, I think at least in general, I have typically have a somewhat better sense of what I'm talking about. I do try and I do frequently have a more accurate view of things than they seem to have. That's not to say they are always wrong; but not infrequently they just haven't vetted their outlook very well.

In the words of Robert Reich, "...test your assumptions, shake your assumptions."

One more little tidbit....