Life Through A Seinfeld Filter

Just watching Seinfeld's latest standup on Netflix:

First off, how does this happen? I'm watching the show, eating lunch, finish lunch, pick up my laptop to share what he said, and as I type it, I completely forgot what the quote was!

W...T...F?

"..."?

But Jerry reminded me of a few things with my ex-wife. Yes, my most previous ex-wife as my friends and family know, I've had 3.5 of them... marriages, and thank you very much for that clarification.

"I dreamed what you did...."

I woke up one morning next to my very lovely wife as she woke up and looked over at me like...like she had never before seen me and had just woken up next to some stranger. It gave me a weird feeling.

I queried her and she responded that I had done something completely and utterly unacceptable...in her dream. I replied, knowing I was potentially in trouble here, that 1, I would 1 never do that thing, and 2, IT WAS A DREAM.

And it was YOUR dream, your mind. NOT my mind that came up with that.

She grinned, fighting back her feelings, knowing I was right, and even said so and that she just needed to work it out in her head.

Which took most of the day. And yes. it an interesting day. Not one of my favorite days.

"Tone of your voice...."

We sometimes had arguments at times over one thing or another, that began as discussions, moved into argumentation, and rapidly devolved into bickering and confusion (one my part) and irritation (on her part). And she would wind me up pretty good. And apparently, I was winding her up. But that was most definitely not my intention. 

Until finally, usually, in my trying to pull things back to calmness and reality we would attain some degree of rationality And no this ia not all just me trying to look good here. That's actually what would happen.

For some of these, I actually have witnesses. AND, her family already knew all about this of course, and actually tried to warn me about her when we were first dating, which...was weird. They would laugh about it and tease so I wasn't sure if they were serious. But they would always, en masse, make it clear, they were serious. But they were still laughing. And I know now, why that was.

Usually, once I got us back to an even footing she would then take the lead and attempt to maintain her lead,. But sometimes, I would hear her final justification for her irritation being that it was... the tone of my voice. That I didn't sound like I believed what I was saying.

What? At first, when this happened, it left me very confused. What did the tone of my voice have to do with anything? My words carried the content of what I was being honest about. My word is my bond as they say. As I've said. If I said it, I was being honest about it. I hate lying. I always tell the truth.

But that's another story. You have to be smarter to always tell the truth, learning to handle sharing reality with diplomacy, compassion. Or at times, simple avoidance. If not outright refusing to say something rather than lie. But too many prefer a lie. Because it's just easier. And faster. 

Whenever this was about child-rearing between us, it was beyond my being able to let it go or cave to her demands,  and I would dig in. If it was just about me I could maybe let something go. But I was (we were, we ARE) responsible for our kids and so you can't let it go when you're fighting for another's rights or fair treatment. The issue there?

A combined front against the kids, even if one of us were wrong (I hated that). And what's this "against" our kids? 'You can't be your kid's friend and a good parent." Nonsense. You just have to have the fortitude to stand your ground when needed and remind the kids, "I'm still your parent." It always worked for me, as it did with teams of adults I led. "I AM your friend, but I'm ALSO your boss." What's so difficult about that? 

I can remember one time that exemplifies what frequently happened. It wasn't about the kids that time. But she had wound me up pretty good and I finally agreed to disagree and do what she wanted. In my trying NOT to wind HER up, she had won. Essentially. But she was still irritated and I asked why? She said:

"It's the tone of your voice. I don't think you believe what you're saying, or that you'll do it (or sometimes... 'do it as well as you would if you believed it')."

Which always annoyed me because I have always seen myself as a professional and like it or not, I'll always do the best I can regardless. Or I won't do it at all or agree to do it. Because once I'm done with whatever it is, it represents me and who I am after I am part with that person, task or item. 

I replied that she had gotten me to agree to do something that I did not want to do and did not believe in at all. But she won. I caved. I agreed to do it. And I will do it, and do the best job I can of it. As always.

I then asked her if she thought she was the Mind Police or something, because that definitely IS being unreasonable. You can win the argument, but you cannot make me believe something I fully do not believe in. That's unfair. It's wrong. It's... bizarre. It's mind control. I think it's why I don't like Donald Trump so much. His personality seems very familiar to me in some small ways.

So what was it exactly that she wanted of me, then?

That stumped her. In the end, she agreed, still somewhat frustrated, to settle with mere winning and my agreeing to do it. I then did what I agreed to. She liked the job I did. And that was the end of it. For the time...

One thing I can say, that was many years of an interesting living situation.

Now I'm single (stop laughing!). No stress in any life relationship or in my household whatsoever. Since my German Shepherd of fifteen years died in 2016, I don't even have a pet anymore to have to worry about. Yes, I sometimes miss someone around the house. And yes, it's nice having a life partner. But now I can take off at a moment's notice, come back home days later without notifying or scheduling or anything, and all is good and peaceful in my life. 

Sure, I do at times miss living with a best friend, a life partner, lover, pet whathaveyou. 

But there's definitely an upside to it all.

And part of that right now is that I just remembered what I was going to quote Jerry on that started me down this list of past bizarre situations in living arrangements.

Bucket lists. 

Jerry had said:

"I made a buck list. I changed the "B" to an "F" and I was done with that too. I just want you to all have that option. You can either check off all your items or change one letter at the top and you're in a lazyboy watching a ballgame."

Now that's funny. And cathartic. And useful. Or not. You're choice.

We're not living together. So I'm not trying to tell you what to believe.

Or to have to bend to your bizarre mental gymnastics. 

Thanks, Jerry. I'll keep that all in mind.

Who is Dragon Boxer?

First up, Have a great Veteran's Day! To all us vets, Thanks! Go out and find one vet during your day today and simply say, "Thanks!" 

Then find one politician who didn't use enough politics, what they are elected FOR, and who found us into yet another war, for corporations and profit and say,

"Hey pal, do your damn job! War is failed politics! And we've failed too many times on that too many times on purpose."

Then thank another Republican for all these wars of profit.

And remember Republican Pres. George W. Bush took us to war, forced the intelligence into existence that would support yet another war we didn't need and took us into Iraq murdering thousands upon thousands and thousands of Iraqis for no God damned good reason whatsoever! 

That's not partisan crap, it's fact. Read a book! The information is out there, vetted, and reality.

Now...

Dragon Boxer. The international star from 2011, is back! Sort of.

Dragon Boxer, 2011

Who is Dragon Boxer?

Well, that's the question, isn't it? The first appearance of Dragon Boxer was in 2011 in Europe when I made a short happy birthday video for my daughter who was traveling Europe alone, with her backpack, and her accordion. Paying her way singing around Europe, even touching briefly in Eastern Europe. She lived in caves on the southern Spanish coast.

She lived in empty buildings with artists. She was in Greece during the labor riots when she detailed to me heading "home" for the night through streets with cars on fire and rioting. She called me one night from a truck stop on the French border at 2AM when it was freezing cold and she had no idea how she was going to get ... somewhere.

A truck driver gave her a ride and eventually, she ended up in that cave on the Spanish coast. For a while, she lived in an apartment with other musicians. they would play music in the kitchen and at least once, had the police arrive to ask them to tone it down as other tenants were complaining.

I tell you all this because it becomes apparent how reasonable it might have been for at some point, her spirits to have lowered to the lowest. It was her birthday. I was frustrated in being so unable to control her spirits, her happiness, she safety.

Head Employment Representative Ramon Soliz, left, my self with my first meeting
with Dragon Boxer and, my wife at the time at my exit party from UW Personnel Department

I was in my bedroom at one point and I came up with the only thing I could think of. To take the hand puppet I had been given as a joke when I left my employment in 1994 of over seven years at the University of Washington, in various departments, and make a short video in order to try to cheer up my daughter, off somewhere, in Europe.

This short stupid little video had the desired effect and did indeed cheer up my depressed daughter. I put the video away and didn't think about it until some years later. I brought it out again for a Happy New Years' video.

Over the years I had shown both the puppet and the Happy Birthday video to kids and even some adults and they all laughed. The kids especially loved it. And when they met Dragon Boxer, they seemed to be very attracted to it. I don't think I've ever gotten so much out of a joke gift before over so many years.

It occurred to me that there was something there. And so Dragon Boxer, International Star was born!

I have been in pre-production on my short horror film, "Gumdrop, a short horror" which I shot during the summer of 2019. During that, I asked Dragon Boxer if he'd like to make a short film for fun and he said yes. Thus, "Below in the Dark, A Short Halloween Enigma" was created in 2018.

I mention all this because we have been putting Dragon Boxer to work. He's open for management by the way. He's a real pain in the ass to manage and I don't want to do it. But someone might and that would take him off my hands. And he eats...good grief. Well, that's another topic.

Anyway, he interviewed actor Jason Lockhard who has worked with director Kelly Hughes and is now in my film, "Gumdrop, a short horror."

Actor Jason Lockhart (left), Tom Remick (right) in
Gumdrop, a short horror (2019)

Here's the Dragon Boxer interview:

Dragon Boxer: Hey, so, Jason Lockhart, actor, father, raconteur, whatever, how are you and thanks for visiting and being my first interview.

JasonL: Sure.

DB: We've grown a man.

JasonL: Sorry. You've what? What is that, thing? Over there?

DB: We found human DNA from 10,000 years ago, recovered, reconstituted it, grew it, and produced, a man. Oh, that. Jay's handy work. It was a... ? We'll have to get another one, that one's trashed beyond repair. Only took him a second. Said, he didn't like it. It made him uncomfortable.  New people seem to make him a bit uncomfortable, too. Anyway, now that just makes him laugh. Interesting talent, that.

JasonL: A man? A man from 10,000 years. Ago? Why not a dragon? You're a boxing dragon, why genetics?

DB: Yes. Well, resurrecting a dragon would be stupid. They're mythical creatures and...I'm the only one so far, so... anyway. We named him. Jay. But that's not...it's not what's so, amazing, about, all this. Did you know that synesthesia is like other things, a part of all of us, as children? As we were all once female, we all once had to learn to differentiate, to compartmentalize our senses. We had to be trained out of seeing sounds or smells, or hearing colors, and so on. There may be other sense mixes going on but typically a child saying, Mommy, I can see the music playing," leads to Mommy saying, "No, honey, you can HEAR the music," when in all reality, the child may ver welly be hearing AND seeing the music.

JasonL: I really don't see what this has to do with any...I thought this was an actor interview?

DB: Yeah, you've thought a lot of things. Like what the hell is this about?

[Shown  Kelly Hughes/Jason Lockhart clip. Jason is flummoxed.]

JasonL: That was from Kelly's film I was in, Green State.

DB: Okayyy... You have heard stories from the past of miracles, magic, and so on, all of which you don't hear about anymore, right?

JasonL: Surely. I've always figured that was just ancient people's misunderstanding of things they can't explain.

DB: Right, and so have most people, a reasonable assumption. But what if...what if we were a more simple people? We certainly seemed to have been more passionate about our beliefs. What if...what if witches did have powers... sometimes. Not always, as certainly many innocents were killed in so-called, "witch hunts".

JasonL: Again, what's your point?

DB: What if the brain chemistry, who knows, maybe the entire human anatomy, was conditioned so that these magical acts actually could happen?

JasonL: Okay, but I don't think I'm following you, yet.

DB: Modern physics has learned a great deal recently. And much of that indicates some very bizarre things. What if this universe is a holographic projection? What if we are existing in the event horizon of a black hole or are projected from one? What if we create the universe every time we look at it, but when we don't look at it, it simply doesn't exist?

JasonL: Yes, yes, I've heard all of that.

DB: Okay then, what if we have, as we have taught children that they cannot see sounds, hear colors and so on, taught ourselves that we cannot see magic? Not so much, "magic", but what appears to be magic. Now, what if we found someone who was alive back when we believed it, what if we could access the capabilities of someone like that? What might happen?

JasonL: Wait, so you're saying, someone from the past could produce magic, and you've now produced someone like that? Surely not all of them could be magical and you may have produced only one who cannot do this? How...odd.

DB: That's what you find odd about this conversation? Okay, well, yes, there's that possibility. But I conjecture we all had that capability, thousands of years ago. But we merely convinced ourselves, mentally, socially, biologically, that we couldn't do it. No doubt many of the strictures of churches, various religions, came about to be precisely because of those capabilities and that added, with extreme prejudice, to our ending such marvelous gifts and practices.

JasonL: I see what you're saying. That sounds ridiculous. Both, our rebuke and the situation. As does so much of quantum physics I suppose. But if what you're saying is true, my God...then what?

DB: Exactly. So. Would you like to meet our new friend...Jay?

Overhead Conversation in a Bar Near Biloxi, Mississippi

Conversation overheard in a bar near Biloxi, Mississippi:


A regular patron walks in and shouts:

"Happy GREAT Americans Day!"

First time visitor of another regular:

"Uh, what's that again?"

Regular loudly as he sits with a group of large friends:

"Just what they've been calling Martin Luther King's Day in Biloxi since the 80s is all."

"Since When again?"

"Well you know. It's also Robert E. Lee's birthday as well."

"Seriously? Doesn't the irony in that choke you at all? Besides, aren't their birthdays like four days apart."

"So?" Another: "What of it!?"

"Well?" Worried, "Uh, King's, is first?"

"So? Lee was born first!"

"Okay, fine," looking around at everyone staring him down, "I... surrender."

"About time the south won one." Cheers!


Thanks Tig Notaro for the initial idea.

The Single Most Important Rule of Improv... and in Life

I just had an epiphany. I was watching Julia Louis-Dreyfus on Craig Fergurson (Julia's show "Veep" has it's season premiere this Sunday night).

They were going back and forth and Craig through something funny out there and I was curious how she would repond and she responded positively and they went back and forth and it worked and had no need to be planned because of the rules of improv. It's like a common language all comedians and really, actors should know about. Now I'm not an actor, or a comedian but I am a writer and I try to learn all these things. You never know when it might come in handy, right?

So it got me to thinking about what was happening in front of me and why she responded positively, with humor and had her own come back. improv. They both understood improv. In inprov, if you respond negatively, you can kill what could be a very funny bit, dead in the water. If you don't give the concept thrown at you room to breathe, you are wasting a beat, even if it's in some way, offensive, distasteful, or itself, negative.

The part about her responding positively gave me a strange feeling of pleasure. What was that? Where did it come from? And then I realized. Past relationships. It is so cathartic and enjoyable to see (for me especially, a woman) to take a comment and reply in a way that was both entertaining and useful to the repartee, that it stopped me and made me and wonder, why?

From there it was a short trip back to my own failed marriage. But also, other failed relationships when I thought about it, and I'll bet, others have had the same experience at the end of a relationship when things are going downhill. But this doesn't only happen at the ends. It can also happen at the middle, or even during the beginnings, if you don't watch out for it and nip it in the bud.

I've said before that it would be nice to have a relationship like in sitcoms where the wife never seems to get angry at the silly goofs of the male in the relationship and my friends have responded that those are "Sitcom Wives" or girlfriends. And that in real life, THEY DON'T EXIST. Perhaps, sadly. But what is special about those women? Patience, I always thought, and a sense of humor. Of not letting the little things get to them. But life does take it's toll the 100th time someone leaves their socks on the bedroom floor to bring up one stereotype from relationships. So we especially don't need to add to those things in our verbal interactions with one another. Do we?

So. Improv.

The first rule of improv is stated in various ways, to say "yes and...." (David Alger's), to always agree (Tina Fey), but to basically always respond in a positive fashion to anther's comments and then add something to that.

This also works well in relationships.

When I think back to my previous marriage, the one thing that frequently seemed to be missing was this element in our relationship. I unknowingly followed this rule of improv, and she didn't. In fact she rejected my approach to things by saying that I always have to turn everything into a joke. This was true to a point but then it really wasn't true, as obviously some things are just serious in life.

But not everything. Which was a trap I would argue, that she fell into. Everything seemed to have the utmost seriousness to it for her. Life was all about drama. Yes, she was a Drama Queen. Addicted to drama. In fact an older women who knew her since childhood and cared for her, once told me that, "If there isn't drama in her life, she'll create some."

"Many people who have studied improv have noted that the guiding principles of improv are useful not just on stage but in everyday life.[8] For example, Stephen Colbert in a commencement address said:

"Well, you are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what's going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say "yes." And if you're lucky, you'll find people who will say "yes" back." [from Wikipedia]

So, consider all this in your own life and relationships. Add a little improv to the mix and find someone, or enlighten your someone, about this.


Tina Fey’s Rules For Improv…And the Workplace

Rule #1 — Agree
The Lesson: Respect What Your Partner has Created

Rule #2 — Not Only Say Yes… Say Yes And
The Lesson: Contribute Something

Rule #3 — Make Statements
Lesson: Don’t Ask Questions All the Time

Rule #4 — There Are No Mistakes… Only Opportunities
Lesson: Stay Positive, Learn to Adapt

In business [as in life and relationships], it pays to have the qualities of an improvisationist. Respect. Create. Contribute. Adapt.


from Tina Fey’s Rules For Improv… And Your Career from Women 2.0

Did Humpty Dumpty Jump?

Last night, I was researching Friedrich Nietzsche. In one of his books, "Thus Spoke Zarathustra", "Umbermensch" was proposed as a goal for Humanity, something to set ourselves up to act for; to strive to be a person "above", someone "beyond", what we are now. Or more generally, whatever Humankind was at one time, it should always try to "rise above" Being. To evolve to a higher form.

Needless to say, some people, after having read this, apparently took the concept too far. During this Philosophical research, I was concurrently and perhaps mistakenly, watching an HBO Ricky Gervais special on Tivo. Ricky is famous for being in, directing and writing, the TV show, The Office; the Original, British TV show. And he was excellent in that role.

As far as the American version (with the hilarious Steve Carell) is concerned, well, as is true with most remakes of overseas shows (especially, Japanese shows in specific particularity); considering how so typically the remakes fail to capture the original flavor and charm of the originating show; well, OK, Steve Carell has done a good job, and actually so has that entire production.

Anyway, Ricky was talking about childrens' fairy tales and at one point, about Humpty Dumpty and how that would actually pan out, were you to bridge the gap from fantasy to Reality (whatever that would be).

For instance, why would you send ALL the King's horses to perform a medical procedure and what a really bad idea that would be. Wouldn't just twelve angry men do just as good of a job? Horses' hooves notwithstanding, what if the French had happened by at that time, to invade England? Another thing, why would anyone name their kid Humpty, when they clearly KNEW their last name is Dumpty, WHEN to start with, and your son is an EGG on top of it all!

So, in considering all this, one would simply have to speculate that Humpty Jr, didn't actually FALL off that wall, a wall that he could not even have climbed up to begin with. But regardless, by time he actually got to the top of the wall, there would really be nothing else that he could do EXCEPT to jump!

And anybody knows that any true "Suicide", really wants to die and really doesn't want any help to survive (and in case you don't know, "Suicides" do actually DO it; those you usually hear about that fail, don't really want to do it and are looking to be "saved". You see the ones that really do want to do it? They do their best to succeed and, well, they usually do.

So, there we have all the King's horses showing up to save HJ which would actually have worked in his favor, considering his apparent state of mind and ignoring
all the King's Men who also showed up and were almost as ignorant at emergency medical procedures and triage, and so they would only have contributed to the general mayhem and melee' format of the event.

And so, my dear medical speculatory travelers, its seems quite obvious to me, with all this overwhelming evidence, that the star of this bizarre childrens' poem that I had learned to love and appreciate as a child and all of my life, for the most part, really was simply put, a suicide!

Truly people, I'm rather flummoxed here at this unforeseen revelation. Maybe I should switch over to the Wizard of Oz, or worse, The Wiz?

It's like the time I was talking to my sister. We must have been in our late 30's and talking about the family dog, from when we were children. I said Mom and Dad had taken him to the "pound" (local Humane Society), but found an old guy with a farm where he could live out his years. You see, it seems "Bruno" had garnered the parents one too many animal control tickets over the years for philandering or whatever they call it for dogs who impregnate bitch after bitch (and some of them show dogs) until they finally couldn't afford it anymore.

My sister looked at me with pity in her face and said: "OH no, you don't still think mom and dad took the dog to a farm, do you?" At which point, I realized that good old mom and dad really had taken him and had him, "put down". He was getting up there in years and people usually want a younger dog.

Yet another childhood fantasy laid to rest.

And now this? HJ committing suicide? Does it never end?

What next? Alice's White Rabbit really was a coke addict? Which truly, would explain why he was so jumpy, paranoid and manic all the time. Not to mention that those shrooms Alice ate probably weren't really magical.

Where will it all end?

Ever have one of those days?

A while back, I rode my bike, a vintage, 1980 Honda CB900 Custom, to my day job. I now telecommute four days a week, so this happens less and less in inclement weather. On the day in question, I was riding through 37 degree weather onto Bainbridge (Braindead?) Island at about 5:30AM, in order to catch the ferry to Seattle.

My toes and fingers were numb when I arrived there. Why did I ride my bike? Well, its like $26 round trip for the SUV and $12.50 for the bike, that's why. So, I got to work, rather uneventful so far. Then things started to happen.

See, I had hoped to leave work at 3PM as I always do, ride up to see my girlfriend at her coffee/sandwich shop she owned at the time in Northgate, and then we could go to maybe our favorite Thai place on Lake City Way. She was a tiny, very cute, Vietnamese lady. That relationship however, has gone by the wayside. That is another story entirely.

Before I headed out, I got an email saying I needed to work at 6PM. I forgot to bring my security key fob that allows me remote access to work via a web browser, or I could have done it at my gf's on her laptop. Which meant, I had to leave our plans for the evening earlier than I had planned, and catch the ferry to be home to do the work that people were depending on my doing, sometime close to 6PM.

So, I got to her place, hung around having an argument with her friend girlfriend on the subject of "Faith" (that was an interesting discussion), her being an interesting character and at least one time Catholic.

So, sadly, I left about 5:20PM to catch the 5:55PM ferry at Edmonds. That's when things began to get interesting.

My bike's right directional light was acting up that morning. I knew that, but now the left one was. Half way to the ferry, that switch just broke, it just flopped around, no more directional signals. It was still daylight out, so not too much problem, I just had to use hand singles, though never much fun on a motorcycle.

I got on the ferry, and read some of "Harry Dresden, Wizard" by Jim Butcher on my Blackberry. An uneventful 30min trip across Puget Sound.

I got off the ferry in Kingston. I was paranoid and careful about changing lanes and making turns. I left Kingston by the back way and headed up along the water then inland, past Kingston High School road when all of a sudden it started to rain on me. However it wasn't supposed to until about 1AM. Pacific Northwest Weather. Its been said we have the highest rate of suicide by Weatherman in the world. Not true. They either learn to deal with disappointment or the move to healthier climes.

And now it begins....

There is a bit of a hill, leading up to the "T" intersection and stop light at which, I stopped, it now being dark out, and raining. I was wearing leather chaps and a raincoat so it wasn't too bad, plus, the night before I had shined my bike boots and waterproofed them. Lucky.

While sitting at the light, the engine started to sputter. I looked at the mileage. I can do about 120+ miles on a tank of gas. I had put premium in it the last two times and it seems to burn it faster but I get better performance. I was at 109 miles on my trip meter.

Suddenly, the engine just died. I sat there, first and only in line at the light, which was still red, another car on crossing my path on my right was at his light, now red as mine had been as mine turned green. In the distance behind me in one of my rear view mirrors I could see a car approaching me.

I tried to start the bike, it quickly ran the battery down to the point that it obviously wouldn't start.

You see, I'd been having problems with the battery. In a previous blog elsewhere I had detailed the event earlier in August when I got the bike. How I had bought it from a friend about 25 miles away, ridden it home, and unbeknown to me, there was almost no water in the battery.

That time, it had stalled, in the middle of rush hour traffic, in the middle of the I-5 freeway, downtown Seattle, during the time the Blue Angels were flying over Lake Washington at the hydroplane races. Not, a pleasant experience. Luckily, that day, after a few minutes on the side of the road, it gained enough charge to restart and I got home that day. One thing I always liked about Hondas, they always got me to my destination. My older brother can't say the same about his Harleys.

So I think I damaged the battery that day and it has been limping along ever since. If it starts in the morning the bike charges enough so that I'm good all day (it has to be over 3,000RPMs though to charge), but if there is an unusual drain, such as trying to start a bike with no gas, well, then it drains the battery rather quickly.

Which was the point at which I was then at. In the dark. In the rain.

And, in a hurry to get home by 6PM because, well, people were waiting on me.

So I pushed the bike off the road, I was now facing the way from which I had just come. With people driving by, staring. Which, especially for a biker, is mortifying, at least to some degree. Not to mention. NO one ever stops to help a biker. Unless, its another biker. All smart bikers, at that moment, appeared to be home, sipping wine, beer, or hot chocolate; or heroin, crack, chewing bullets, or whatever that other class of biker likes to do during times of bad weather in the PNW. Like a smart biker.

So, I continued to sit there, in the dark (except for the traffic light repeatedly changing green, seemingly taunting me) and in the rain. All I wanted was to go home and get my work done for my company, so I could get it over with. The work that ruined a nice dinner with my girlfriend. The work that eliminated my having delicious Thai food that evening, with a delicious Vietnamese woman.

Sometimes, my job just sucks.

Then it dawned on me, the problem was electricity, right? I just needed a charge. Cell phone? No, too small a charge. Well that was the limit of my electrical inventory. Well, I WAS sitting at the top of a hill, not to mention that just around the corner, in the direction I had been heading was a rather large, much steeper and much longer hill. But the bike, weighing in at over 500 pounds, well, I opted for the shorter hill back the way I had come. Hoping that would be steep enough.

I had flipped the switch on the gas tank engaging my reserve tank of about a gallon, plenty now to get me home. I LOVE emergency gas reserves. Sometimes, I miss my Grandmother's old VW Beetle, because it had one.

But I now also needed to draw the gas into the engine, thus I needed some battery power. Or turning over the engine by rolling forward, which I began to do. Before I even made it down the hill I had enough momentum that I popped the clutch in first gear and BANG the bike started. I noted that the traffic light was now green and there were no cars, so I quickly whipped back around and ran through the light and picking up speed on a now newly slippery road, feeling quite ecstatic with my newly found ability to actually ride home.

That was when the rain started coming down harder, and harder. But I finally made it home and with difficulty, parked the bike in the garage in the front corner next to the SUV. Irritated and wet, I got into the house and with some difficulty, I got my gear off.

Oh, did I mention, that the morning began, with my breaking the zipper tab on my raincoat? So now I had a hell of a time getting it off.

Frustrated and irritated, but glad to be home now, to see my kids (my daughter who had been sick for a couple of days but was feeling better now (yes I was going to have dinner with my girlfriend as I usually do on Wednesday nights, but I was going to cut it short that night because of my daughter anyway) and my son who was pumped about having just rearranged his room), I only wanted to get my stupid work done for my job, that had so ruined my having dinner with my delightful girlfriend whom I got to see so little.

My daughter was feeling better and my son had to show me his room, and then asked me to get the internet fixed for him! Oh. Great! Well, he had mentioned it earlier that day but it slipped my mind.

I got onto my PC. Then I found that it had evidently crashed. Sigh....

So I rebooted it. It took a while to all come back up, the same as well with the internet, but it finally did. So then I tried to log onto work.

Now realize, before I left work, I had set the PC at work up so that everything I needed was on the screen, ready to go. But now, I found it too had crashed. Now, I had to get the damn thing back up again, too, and get everything back in order to be ready to do the work that I needed to do.

Finally, I got everything back up, access to the needed servers was back online and I checked my work email.

Wherein, I then found a certain, somewhat relevant, email. Which said: "We're canceling the work for tonight due to a security access request having not gone through. We'll do this tomorrow night instead. Hope you all have a great evening!"

I've had better nights.

Hell and Insanity - A Diatribe

Hell, hath no fury, well...like Hell.
And, its never ever what you expect.

There is nothing to edit here except the story itself.
And if it could be divulged in the last remaining moments of Human History, this would be the most appropriate of times and places to share of this story.

After all, no one will be interested after all are dead.

And the madman screamed so all would listen:

"Succor and abandonment are the vestiges of a well spent life
and there is nothing to stop the innocent from leaving the stage before the end."

Or, so said the Sage that lost his way along the Path, and expired from lack of drink and experienced that, so great of a loss of energy, that we call it Death.

And so it is, to all that won't listen' and I send this warning:

Accept the truth, or die in knowing that the falsehoods prevailed.

The end is neigh and only Milton has seen the future.

Bacon's paintings are only a brief prelude to the actual events, as they will unfold.

And so, I wish you all the warmest of receptions and felicitations...in Hell. Or where ever you may land, in the end.

Socrates, will not be there to greet you. So be sad, yet fear not. However, a singing troupe called, Hitler's Henchmen, will play their penultimate set. They all sing in soprano and dance gaily around a freezing fire, that is at some point, to be the rest of your Eternity.

Praise the Righteous. As they are the ones who shall have had prevailed on Earth and will eventually be the most condemned in the After Life.

Little to their understanding, I might add.

The first of the wrestling matches will lead to the decision of which of the blind will be leading the blind.

It will be a tag team match between:

The Buddha, his contemporary, Confucius,
the recent favorite,
Jesus (don't you know that carpenters have strong arms and backs), and
Mohammad.

Vs.

Genghis Khan,
Vlad the Impaler,
Nero and
Goering (Hitler, will so typically excuse himself saying that his back is bothering him again; strange as it is, he fancies himself JFK).

And this will be what will in the end decide who will be the followers and
who will be the leaders, all in that great hall across the river Styx.

Do I hear the cheer?

Let the games begin!

The Saturday TFTD (Thought For The Day)

Let us rise up and be thankful,
for if we didn't learn a lot today,
at least we learned a little,
and if we didn't learn a little,
at least we didn't get sick,
and if we did get sick,
at least we didn't die,
and if we did die,
well then, why in the hell
are we talking about all this?