10 Truths about being a "Real Woman"

Once many years ago, I moved into a house that local people later told me had belonged to a family with only one son. They said he was a diminutive boy of very fine and rather handsome features, and he kept to himself unless pressed. At which point you would see an energy and a dark gleam in his eyes.

Eventually it became quite obvious he was gay.

After I moved a loose board, during a remodel of the bedrooms, I found some journals hidden in a wall in the back of a closet, in what must have been his room. There were womens' clothes still in the closet, tasteful but evocative outfits that would only fit a petite person. Of the journals, one with the "10 Truths" in it was signed "Rikardo Simmonds".

But others I found were signed things like "Richard Simmon", "Dick Cinnemaon", and yet other names, but all were in the same intricate flared handwriting..I recently ran across it among my things. I don't know why I kept it. I just didn't know what to do with it; and so I offer it to you here, for your amusement, or derision.

10 Truths about being a "Real Woman"
by Rikardo Simmonds

1. Every pound a female puts on her frame beyond her upper limit of being HWP (Height Weight Proportionate), puts her one step further from being a woman and one step closer to being a man. At least in a man's eyes. And no, he'll never admit it.

2. Weighing over 100 lbs indicates you have "Amazon" in your blood and are not one for a long term relationship. If its because you have a "large frame" or are "big boned" you are going to have a more difficult time; deal with it.

3. There is a "best ratio" for a man's weight to a woman's and should be approximately 2:1 (take or leave ten pounds). If you're heavier, find a bigger guy.

4. All men are aware of redheads. This can be both a good and a bad thing, depending on the woman and what she is currently looking for.

5. A woman needs a man she can "push against" in order to constantly feel her limits and her power (and his). If there is nothing there for her to do this against, he will not last long with her or she will eventually come to despise him for reasons he (and she) cannot fathom because he is such a "nice Guy". However, if he is not compassionate about how he gives her something to push against, he will also not last long, or will be badmouthed about, to any one who will listen to her; although, she may never, in the end, leave him.

6. It is more passionate to be with a man who is an occasional "ass" than to be with a "nice guy" who never is.

7. Men are attracted to their opposite. No man likes to be around a woman who is too much like him. Most strongly heterosexual men find that concept abhorrent or "gay".

8. A woman should avoid gay men in romantic situations. If she simply doesn't want to be in an intimate relationship, then she should find a hobby.

9. There IS such thing as being "too skinny". Not enough meat on the bones is just as bad as too much, just not quite as gross. Having enough meat to hide muscle striations, smooth out rough spots and give "shape" to a figure, is always desirable. "Round" is good; "bulbous" is not.

10. Calling one self a "BBW" (Big Beautiful Woman) of wants and therefore avoid being called a slut. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, after all, as my mother always says.

[This last one was written in obviously at a much later date, the hand writing was more uniform and controlled]

11 Polyandry or Polyamory, is just another term for "can't make a commitment" and/or, "I'll do whatever I please". It is a female term that takes the place of "bachelor" for a woman in doing whatever romantically, she wants and therefore avoids being called a slut. As my mother used to say, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander", after all.

Note: Rumor has it, from among those in the neighborhood that knew them (and would talk about it), that the family had moved because the son eventually killed himself. He was, after all, patently insane. His death was a fact. Their motivation for leaving, was not.