Friday, July 30, 2010

Recent tweets....

I always knew building a laptop into my surfboard would someday pay off....

This isn't a sling. Its a tasteful but seldom seen appendage. So stop staring.

There's still time to prepare.... this year
BurningMan starts on my birthday! :)

Then I said, I'll trade you this cinnabon for that knife. Never ignore the power of a cinnabon...

Ever been sky diving and you hear a ripping sound from above rather than a popping sound? That's reason to get drunk. And hey, no hangover!

I was SCUBA diving along once, turned around at 40' and almost had a heart attack: Sea Cucumber attack! True Story

When caught in a basement, with a gun leveled at you, and questioned: "Who are you?" Always answer: "I don't KNOW!"

Neosporin or Benadryl do NOT work well on Tiger bites.

So, these two drunks walk into a library....

I had a higher education once, but didn't keep up my payments and now its all worn off....

I swear if I don't find a door to escape this reality, I'm taking hostages. No, wait, taking yourself hostage kind of defeats the purpose.

Please do not call if you need anything. Also, we do not accept calls from landmines.

Ghost vs Vampire? Who'd win in THAT fight? Look, only the living fear Ghosts. Vampires are already dead. So, its a null battle.

Should you tell the supermodel you're guiding through the wilds, that the viper strike at your "John Thomas", actually hit your wallet?

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