Friday, November 4, 2011


Last week I found this poster on an acquaintance's Facebook page. I "borrowed" it and posted it myself. 

I expected some noise about it.

My daughter is 19 and traveling throughout Europe. She posted that she was not happy with it.

But, she didn't realize I was looking beyond the surface of it. You see, Facebook screwed up when I posted it. The upload failed. So I re-posted it and then wrote my two paragraphs explaining why I was posting it. But that explanation as to why I was posting it, didn't post to the first image which did not fail after all (to my surprise).

So my daughter simply saw that I had posted this without explanation. And I can see where posting it might require some. Explanation.

When I went to her comment on that photo and saw her disparaging comment, I went back to the original posting, from the woman who I had gotten it off her her Facebook page and discovered that the original comments I made were now gone. So I have to assume she caught enough flack from it, and she pulled it (I later found she hadn't, I just couldn't find it, so good for her).

I have thicker skin (apparently not).

Here is what I had said in response to this photo when I first saw it. And I should mention that when I saw this woman had posted this poster, I didn't think for a minute that she meant it in the way that many might take it; and so that was the inspiration in my re-posting it.

You see, I got the joke.

But before that just let me say, if this poster really upsets you, you need to lighten up. If you can't laugh at yourself, you should reconsider your life in general, because, we're pretty funny. Or, foolish.

What is this all about then? Is it picking on unattractive women? Is it a slap in the face to those hearty women who fought for Women's Rights? Are attractive women making fun of those who aren't well endowed with, whatever, those things our society holds dear?


Look, believe it or not, women didn't fight for the right to not be objectified, and right there is where this topic usually goes to Hell. They fought for the right to be treated equally, if anything, to not be objectified IF THEY DIDN'T WANT TO BE, or so that they didn't have to be, so that they could have the freedom to be who they wanted to be, not dictated by outside forces or convention. Because, let's face it, being objectified, when we want to be, can be fun. Same goes with manipulation. I love being manipulated, if it is being done by someone whom I want to have doing it to me, at a time I would enjoy it, and I understand what is going on (okay, sometimes it's even fun if you don't know what is going on).

That, you see, was a very relevant point that many of the original feminists completely seemed to have missed. But then they can be forgiven that, for they had so very much to deal with back then. No. Really. It was a lot to take on and women (and men) owe them a lot for taking the fight to the public forums. And winning.

Yes, women are still paid less than men but I think we are all getting screwed, not just women. I believe it will progress and eventually we'll all be paid according to what we know (and as always WHO we know, I doubt that will ever change and in some ways, it shouldn't), and how well we play "the game". That is one thing that women did have, they could use sexuality to win; but the battle wasn't over killing that predisposition (at least for some), the battle was to kill that being the only way they could get what they wanted, or that they never would be able to get what they wanted, regardless. And frankly, much of that has now changed.

So, when situations as pictured in the poster above, happened, some of these fighters were offended rather than feeling they had achieved their goals; many even felt they had lost, or that some women were even working against them or were turning the clock back on progress.

But they had won, in my book, at least in many ways.

Women in America CAN now be who they want to be, they don't HAVE to be that way anymore. Although, much more can be achieved when going with the "current" (sexy does sell, works for men too, you know, it's Human Nature). But, they really don't have to anymore (not so much anyway, and no things are perfect, but they are better and there are laws now regarding this). That even being a factor, ever, is something I don't think they will ever win over completely until we remove the differences of gender at the molecular level; and please, just don't.

Removing sexuality isn't winning, it is trapping us in our own arguments.

As for women not being decoration, no, they shouldn't have to be. Unless they want to be, unless they can have fun with it, and and unless they can not feel burdened by it. What these changes did in part, was to show men that they had the same capability in fashion and health.

The balance always was too far to the woman, it's now leveled off some in that respect.

But understand, we will always prefer what is attractive because we are genetically predispositioned toward it. And that's okay, just don't let it get oppressive.

Getting back to the poster in question.

"Sexism, Only ugly bitches complain about it."

To understand that, you have to define what is "ugly", don't you? You can take it at face value and it's not really worth the time to look at it. It's funny, yes, but mean spirited in that vein. But if you look at the extremes, then try to consider for a moment the disparity and the feelings of the woman holding the poster, and the women with the drinks. The women with the drinks don't look to me in the least of having bad feelings toward anyone. But you have to figure that the woman with the sign is feeling outclassed, maybe outgunned, maybe let down; but then she doesn't really dress to be anything else, does she? She doesn't have to dress sexy, but how about, nice?

The sign being held says, "Women are not for decoration." First of all, this argument is over. We know that. It's really pretty passe. The only people still fighting that battle are the ones who don't have self esteem to take them above and beyond that. You can be the "ugliest" person on the planet but if you put effort into your presentation and attitude (mostly attitude), you can be accepted, if not as much, possibly more than the "Barbie" in the room. Women really are for decoration, but not JUST for decoration. Just the same as men are. And again, that's okay, as long as it doesn't go to extremes or lead to unfair or mean spirited prejudices.

It's like with the term prejudice. Nothing wrong with being prejudiced. We live our lives by it. We're prejudiced against many good things. Like eating poison. Shooting people. Killing our children. Liking nice people over that of mean people and bullies. Just be reasonable and consider other's feelings in your decisions... and prejudices.

So lighten up, if this all upset you. It was a joke.

On the other hand, you know it's quite possible that I simply over think things and the poster is just wrong....

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