Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Today's Stream of Consciousness

Good Morning.

I woke today, the second week of my vacation from my "day job". Yesterday, I had a BBQ with my daughter. We had some beer brats, some Smithwick's beers, and some kind of pea salad with pasta. Pretty tasty. The weather here has sucked all summer. This was the first day, this summer that I used my outdoor grill, a statement about the weather that on the last day of Summer, on the Labor Day weekend, I finally grilled something. I'm glad I got to go somewhere (Portland on my bike for a couple of days), but I have to make some changes.

On 9/11 my daughter leaves for Europe. It's a little unsettling that she will be leaving not only on 9/11, but also on the tenth anniversary of the event. However, I'd be more concerned, considering the possibility of a long term plan for attacking the US on that date, if she were either coming back in to the US, or going to a major external location or from a major internal one. So I figure considering the odds, I wouldn't feel concerned for myself, were I leaving on that day. Plus, she got some good prices for flying that day. I'll actually feel better once she is out of the country as she will then be in a country where no one is concerned with attacking it.

For this week, as she is working anyway, I thought I would go for another ride on my bike. Perhaps to my town of my birth. I was there a few weeks ago for work and found it far more charming than every before. It has been reinvigorated with nicer buildings and businesses. But most of the people I used to know are now living elsewhere, in other towns or countries, are deceased (or should be, but that's another story), or I have no idea what happened to them.

In waking today, the weather was cool. Too cool for my tastes. It makes me reflect on my waking in San Francisco one time, when weather here was miserable and there, it was beautiful and I walked out of the house into the sun just after 7AM with cup of coffee in hand, and a smile on my face; or when I lived in Phoenix for a time, when it was always warm to hot to too hot. I have been considering moving. With my current job, I could easily transfer to Portland, but traffic there is horrendous. Though it is warmer more often as well as on a daily basis.

For today, for this week, I was going to ride to Tacoma. Maybe. But then I thought, perhaps I should ride to NorthWestern Washington. I've not been to Sequim where the John Wayne marina resides as it was once the Duke's hideaway from Hollywood, or further around and down by Forks of current "Twilight" fame (okay, maybe not bother going there), and I haven't been to the coast up there since the 70s.

I also have two screenplays I need to work on. I worked on my "HearthTales" script yesterday, I have coverage notes that I need to incorporate. I also need to get back to my "America" screenplay that I am working on with Chris Soth. He has been incredibly helpful and it helps, that he is invested emotionally in this particular script. I have until the end of the month to turn the script in and we're still working on the treatment. It's been a rough summer.

The issue is, Monday, I have to get back to the grind (and it is a grind) of my regular corporate job that is killing the spirit I have left for creative pursuits and so, I've worked hard now for over two years to lift myself out of that job into something although perhaps, more difficult, certainly more rewarding in any of several ways.

There is a theory in Psychology that once you hit a certain age in your life, or you achieve a certain point therein, that you start to look beyond your immediate concerns (food, health, living conditions, etc.) and become more concerned with creative or noble pursuits, or perhaps, historical affects, in how you leave your life and your efforts to posterity.

I have certainly had creative desires in life that have been encumbered by life, family, children, and such. Now that my children have moved out and are focused on establishing themselves in life, in other locations, I will have the time and desire to alter my life, and can only concern myself with my own situation. Of course, I'll be concerned with my adult children, but I do not any longer have to maintain my location or situation. I can take chances again with my career. I can once again, take control of my life and live my desires, much like my kids are now. My daughter will be exploring Europe. When I make the changes I need to make, when I can cut loose from my desk job. I can get things going for myself once again; I can seek my bliss as Dharma used to say on TV.

Where would I like to do that? Italy? The French Riviera? Vietnam? Thailand? Australia? I have a friend living there I could go visit. The cool thing is? I can live wherever I "hang my hat", or turn on my laptop. I can store my writings online, and I don't even need a laptop, just a place to access my works.

My goals are simple, workable, and tiered. I want to pay off my second mortgage on my house. I want to pay off my house or sell it. I want to quit my job which means I need a new source of income. I want to travel. I am not saying I want to make a million dollars, or I want a mansion, or a hot car or travel the world. I'm starting off simple, picking increasingly more complicated things. I am using this as a kind of staircase to success. Once the first smaller issue is taken care of, the next can be attacked; once money comes in, more will come in.

The point is to make a plan, make it reasonable and work hard on it. I'm going to make these changes, the only question is when and how fast can I make it happen. At this point, I want it to happen today, after all, over two years have gone in to this effort and I gave myself five to achieve it. I would say I am certainly more than half way there so I am ahead of schedule. They say that any new business takes off or fails in the first five years. This is a small business effort. I am the business, my product is my writings, the process is my networking, my connections, and my sales. I have established myself with certain individuals and businesses.

The nice thing of this kind of thing, is that once it happens, it usually takes off pretty quickly. However, many people who try this business model, fail, because they hit a point that they feel they cannot go on any longer because they don't have the patience or perseverance. I have heard too many who have become successful say that the key is perseverance. Those who have made it were those who kept trying to become better and never gave up.

I will never give up. And I am always getting better.

But for now, I only have to worry about this week. I need to re-energize myself before I go back to the job next week because this summer, working these two jobs full time, have drained me. The biggest danger, is to let the day job, overwhelm the pursued job. So I need to keep my spirits up, my energy up, and see the success of my goals.

I think I might head north on the bike today. But I might head south. I know either way, I will head out. I will have another adventure and next week, I can think back and know that the future holds more of this. Not just another vacation, but another life.

There is one other thing. Even at my age, I can consider, that with my health status which is remarkably good, and advances in technologies and methodologies, it is possible I have yet to hit the half way point in my life. Considering all I have lived through, that I may have that many years to live still again, and all the adventures and producing I still could achieve, I find it very invigorating and exciting.

There are only good things to look forward to. Yes, there may be bad times to come, but why bother with that? "Prepare for the worst, expect the best." It is something that has served me well to live by. I don't see any reason to stop thinking that way now.

And so, time will tell.

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