Mitt Romney, as David Lynch

I had the weirdest dream last night in a long time. Prepare yourself....

It's still American, we're all still welcome to believe whatever we like about the unproveable.

It was one of those dreams that are so real, like 3D, High Def. When I woke up from it, I couldn't have been happier to finally be awake again. I was out somewhere, like a cross between a shopping mall and a community college and I ran into a filming of a Mitt Romney TV holiday special show.

"Liz Lemon", Tina Fey's character from "30 Rock", was there.

Danny Devito was there. Actually it was a cross between Danny and another short person but I can't figure out who.

Chuy Bravo and Chelsea Handler

Maybe Chuy from Chelsea Handler's show, "Chelsea Lately". Other famous actors were there.

So I knew I just had to try and insert myself into the crew so I could watch this insantiy. Which in reality I have actually done before.

Mitt, I have to say, was horrible, as one might expect. This entire production was an extremely bad idea, but everyone was praising their work; basically trying to kiss up to Mitt. People where there supporting Mitt who just don't make any sense in their being there. Liberals, Democrats, it was nuts.

I started trying to secretly tweet what was going on but security was high and I couldn't get a tweet out or a place to hide to do it; and what was going on, was really weird. It begged to be announced.

When I got there, they were just starting to make Danny dance in very little, weird clothing and perform in a way that could only be described as homo erotic. And Mitt was loving it. I was stunned watching this nightmare. I walked around the perimeter of the external set in a daze.

Mitt was pretty much gleeful about it and was directing everything on stage from the edge. Everyone was focused only in making whatever he wanted work as well as possible on screen. They were all being very professional... just insane.

I ended up by end of day watching from an alcove, out of the way but with a very good view. Liz walked over by me. I felt her charisma and wanted to get closer to her, to talk to her, maybe even get to know her a little. But she was very focused on the show and you could see she was planning in her head. Planning something. Somehow we stared talking, not much, just a few words. We stood there for a while. In talking to Liz and I had to find out if she knew what she was doing, what it meant, what was going on. So I made a sarcastic comment, leading her to respond, allowing her an opportunity to bond with me, to admit that she fully got it, that it was unbelieveble for her to be there, supporting Mitt of all people.

But instead, she really liked what she took as my suggestion for the show, which was meant as a sarcastic joke. A joke that I thought she would get, but she just didn't. It was like everyone had been co-opted, mezmerized by Mitt. As if he were some mad magician, some insane, evil hypnotist.



David Lynch with Michael J. Anderson on set of "Twin Peaks"

It was all as if I had stumbled into a (David) Lynchian, "Twin Peaks" kind of nightmare.

I was stunned at the idiocy of what they were doing. But she had really liked the idea and said, "So, do you like getting up at 5 or 6AM?" It was as if she were saying that tomorrow, their last day of shooting, she wanted me to be involved. She seemed to be the top dog in what was going on, which considering the sureality of her show "30 Rock" could make some kind of sense; but in the end, I wasn't on the crew. They had no way of knowing me, or contacting me. Would they be shooting here tomorrow?

I felt I needed to be involved though, to do whatever I could to make this monstrosity fail. Though I was sure it really didn't need my help in any of this in that respect. Still I felt I needed to be there to assure it happening.

Now, understand that I am a Horror writer. I've very worked hard to be able to dream up truly unsettling scenarios for my stories, books and screenplays, and from all accounts, I do very well at that. Thank you very much. I offer my book, "Death of Heaven" as a prime example of how twisted a tale I can weave, of a really twisted account of Human History and how we have entirely misperceieved our created reality. I like Horror stories and films. They are fun. Like a roller coaster ride where, in the end, you are entirelly safe. Except for what you carry away with you, in your mind.
But I really don't need to ever, have another nightmare like this... never again! Please.