Horror Author/Filmmaker's Perspective: COVID-19 Pandemic

Skip this if this kind of thing freaks you out. It freaks me out. IF ya don't wanna know, don't read it! But for the curious, scientific or medical interested among us...What Does the Coronavirus Do to the Body? That's kind of the focus of the topic here, but...not really. By the way, I've been updating the best info I can find, debunking stuff as I come across it, on my Facebook page.

UPDATE 3/20/20: Smashwords just started a sale between 3/20-4/20. So I have made all my writings on there free because of the pandemic, as I know many are now stuck at home climbing the walls. Enjoy! Also, you can listen to the Kelly Hughes podcast I'm on about my new film, "Gumdrop", a short horror (trailer). It's still going around film festivals until late 2020, so it is not yet available to view.

And please, everyone have at least 2 weeks of backstock of food at home through this. It may seem crazy to some, normally. But you may have noticed...this ain't normal. Don't go nuts. But go...

As the title of this blog indicates, it's really about how as a horror writer and filmmaker of the macabre would personally handle this kind of a dire life situation. How does someone with an overactive imagination, who exercises it professionally, deal with being in the midst of a global pandemic? Especially in getting older and being in an older, more susceptible cohort.

Meaning, it could be even more fear evoking. Though I've never been much of one for being frightened at much of anything. That, however, is something that took me a great deal of effort and work when I was younger. More on that, later.

For now, something you should be aware of, soap. A comment from The Guardian about this pandemic and protecting oneself.

They also said this:

America faces an epic choice...
... in the coming year, and the results will define the country for a generation. These are perilous times. Over the last three years, much of what the Guardian holds dear has been threatened – democracy, civility, truth. This US administration is establishing new norms of behaviour. Anger and cruelty disfigure public discourse and lying is commonplace. Truth is being chased away. But with your help we can continue to put it center stage.

Rampant disinformation, partisan news sources and social media's tsunami of fake news is no basis on which to inform the American public in 2020. The need for a robust, independent press has never been greater...

And so, this is about how I think, how I got here, and how I handle things. I'm lucky. I put in a lot of effort when I was a kid and as a young adult, to learn discipline, to face my fears (and I had plenty to contend with) and, how to remain functional while experiencing sheer terror. Or worse, how to be a first responder and tuck away my fears to act to help others.

I actually found that easier. To ignore fear. Because when you dedicate your situation to helping others, to protecting others, you are using a kind of mask. You are hiding yourself from yourself behind a mask of action, need and necessity. Your fears don't matter, don't exist, because you are doing a job saving others' lives.

So, yours don't matter. Other than to stay functional long enough to complete your mission. Whatever it is. I realized decades ago that I could be functional in dire situations, and then only afterward, I'd feel the response, physically, mentally, emotionally.

On the market now with Producer Robert Mitas attached

This is the same for acting as a bodyguard. Whenever I performed that function, it was like looking through a lens. "You"... don't exist. Only your mission. Your purpose. Your person to protect. That's your universe. It's why war zone video journalists get killed so easily as they are focused through their lens in order to get their shot. They forget they are a person and need to protect themselves.

It's about their mission, the photo, the video and that's about informing others, elsewhere. Yeah, it's a paycheck to be sure. But that's not the motivation in the moment. It's doing the job and "you" don't exist and therefore, neither do your fears. It's freeing in a way. It's also what's so addictive about it and why some are compelled to go back time and time again. Sometimes, until it's too late.

Like being a soldier in a warzone. It's not so much courage as it is, at least in my mind, from my experiences, about your team, so that you are hiding your fears from yourself and remaining functional and active... because of others.

Courage to me is acting in the face of nothing being in it for me and still risking my life. Which is kind of what heroes get medals for, where normally courage doesn't really come into it. Not in the moment, only in hindsight. I guess courage or those medals, involve far exceeding that kind of "normal", in that situation.

Which is already far above the norm for most people. It's hard to explain in a short amount of space and time, like here and now. I think that is all in part why so many "Heroes" who get medals downplay their actions and involvement, as it's confusing to them. "The other guy is a hero", they'll say. Or, "The dead guy I couldn't save is...not me." Of course, that can also have to do with survivor's guilt. Something I'm glad I've never had to deal with myself.

Moving on...

As I said, I've always had an overactive imagination. As a kid, it drove my mom (and my family, to be sure...and my teachers) a bit nuts. Dreams and nightmares were either awesome or terrifying but I loved them both. I've been a writer, and now filmmaker of the macabre, since the early 1980s.

I read sci-fi as a young kid and then horror. I read Edgar Allen Poe back in the 1960s and watched all those genre movies. I've been a fan of horror all my life (as well as A/A films and sci-fi...big time, etc.). My mother loved vampire films long before I was born. We'd watch old late night horror flicks together on TV. So I learned it young and from a parent. 

Until 1969, when the family saw "Night of the Living Dead" at the drive-in, in our station wagon. After that night mom would not allow that title to be spoken in her house. Not even ten years later.

During this pandemic, I think about Poe's, "The Mask of the Red Death: A Fantasy". The story, the movie. It's about a pandemic through a romantic or fantastical notion of it and in a rather poetic and obviously, "Poe-like" fashion.

Robert John Burke in "Thinner" (1996)

I think about "Thinner" by Stephen King. And other such tales. I found "Thinner" to be very disturbing as a film when it came out. I was as a kid, a bit short, chunky, not really overweight. Until I hit high school in tenth grade. I had a night job working nights at that drive-in theater. I was going all the time, I had trouble sleeping all through high school, I shot up a few inches and dropped a few pounds in tenth grade. So as a kid, being thinner was a thing for me. It was on my mind.

In eighth grade, I once tried my mother's "diet pills" from the kitchen cabinet where she kept them. I didn't like them very much but they did curb my appetite. Being a kid of ADHD, speed tended to not speed me up but slow me down. I had a strong desire to drop pounds or look thin for a long time. But I only tried one of those pills. They weren't pleasant. 

Decades after that was a concern anymore, I saw that film, "Thinner". The idea that you find you are losing weight, and it's exhilarating, but then you keep losing weight, until , you begin to get concerned. Then worried, Then outright frightened...it really hit home. 

What IF you lose weight, but it never stops? It's like that short story about a piece of skin or a hangnail that is bugging someone. And so they pull on it. It rips on up along their arm. Of course, you're sitting there wondering, why don't they just stop pulling at it? That idea of picking at something, anything, but it goes wrong. Horribly wrong. And you can't stop.

Echoes of parents warning you about things: "Don't cross your eyes, or they will stick that way. You'd need surgery. You know, that happened to Jerry Lewis once! And he needed surgery. He was lucky. They fixed him. They might not be able to fix you!" My mother actually told me that as a kid. I'm sure everyone has one of those things their parents told them as kids. It's basically lazy parenting. Or simply ignorant parenting. Or parents merely passing on ridiculous things they were told and perhaps, still believed. 

I'll give you a really nasty one. As kids, we were watching TV with the family. I got up, stepped over my younger brother, both of us having been stretched out on our deep blue long shag carpet, chins propped up on hands watching TV and too closely (that issue being yet another).

Mom exclaimed to me, "Don't step over your brother like that, or he could die!" I was annoyed. And perplexed. Did she really believe that? No one else said a word.

It was ridiculous. But, I stepped back over him to neutralize it and said, "OK?"

She said, "Well, I don't know if that fixes it or makes it worse."

I just shook my head and went on to the kitchen. Sadly, some years later he did die in 1975. Of liver cancer, weeks before he turned fifteen. And sadly, five years to the week of the first successful liver transplant.

Years after that I happened to bring up my mom's superstitions. I mentioned to her she had said that about stepping over my brother and she outright denied it. I told her she had been superstitious about other things, but again she denied it, too.

Fears. Where do they come from? Ridiculous fears. Especially fear of oneself.

But that's part of the trope. It's like being near a cliff or edge of a tall building and being innately frightened that you might decide to leap off it. The pulling at skin thing, has been done a few times in films. But the concept is usually, something small and innocuous begin to bug you and it ends up morphing into something massive and horrific. Who's responsible? You. 

That concept has been explored in horror and sci-fi for many years.

What if you wish to be younger, so you try something to make it happen. Then... success! But, it doesn't stop! Maybe you are young, wishing to be an adult. But then you don't stop aging?

The basis of horror, really. Getting what you want but it goes seriously awry, horribly wrong. That's also the concept behind the Genie, or Jinn, where you get three wishes. But be careful what you wish for. Genies, after all, are very literal, and like Leprechauns, mischievous, if not outright evil. The innocent as evil being another fun trope. Or terrifying one. 

Years ago, I got into studying the Spanish Flu pandemic and that led me to other pandemics. I then dove into the Middle Ages, the so called, "Dark Ages", and all the horrors therein. That eventually led to the Renaissance, the "Enlightenment".

Which eventually led me at university to write a short story about a Judge and Witch Hunter in, "The Mea Culpa Document of London", contained in my collection of my older short stories, "Anthology of Evil". That led to another and longer story as an extension of it in, "Vaughan's Theorem", contained in another book, "Death of heaven". A massively epic horror sci fi book.

It's interesting to note that about twenty (thirty?) years ago in my researching pandemics (this included surveying Scientific American type journals and some even more scientific journals of immunology).

I should mention that I've been reading Scientific American since the 1970s and it used to be much more than it is today. Bigger and in my mind, better. I loved its style of presenting material and research. It opens in a form anyone can understand, then goes deeper until finally it gets deep into the fine detail and even scientific data.

By the way, not sure who wrote this up, but ... my disclaimer

During that research on pandemics, I kept coming across comments in journals and books and interviews, that the world was overdue for a pandemic. At first, they were just comments that we were overdue. But over the years it was stated in ever more intense comments of futility, that we were "long overdue". Some seemed rather concerned in their interviews. The concern was palpable.

So, for it finally now to be hitting, in this year,  as I've been waiting for it for so long, for me at very least, it's a very curious feeling. As with things like climate change, where you start to think maybe it will never happen, until it does...in this case, it has. It is in fact, surreal. 

I've always had a penchant for those wonderful jags of diving into research. When I went to university, I learned how to do it professionally and knowledgeably. Researching. I had really discovered something. I would delve deeply into it for a while until I satiated my interests and then, move on. That goes back with me to I think the fifth grade. And our local public library. 

My family had moved into a new house, a new location, and new schools. I was a mischievous kid myself so mom wouldn't let me go anywhere at first. For a while. But finally I got her to agree to let me go to the local library. It was about a mile away. So when I wasn't grounded, I'd talk my mom into letting me to go the library.

I rode there on my bicycle. It didn't take long to get there and the road there was pretty safe. And it was the 60s. So I started hanging out at the library, once I realized it was about the only place she'd let me go on my own. Just to get away from the house. For some peace and quiet and control over my own devices, away from the parents. Especially, my step-father. We never really got along. 

I discovered at the library how you could look things up. It was...amazing. I didn't know it was research, it was just...cool. My mind sucked up knowledge like a sponge. The librarians were very nice to me and answered any questions. I think they were a little surprised that a kid in fifth grade was showing so much interest in a library.

On his own. Without being forced to be there by his parents. Or, just being brought in by parents, getting books and then...out of there. I would hang out there for hours. I was typically the only kid there most of the time, without a parent along with them. 

Then the greatest thing ever happened. I discovered the adult section! Wow!

I don't know what section it was really, probably just not the kid's section. But to me,it was... The Adult Section. With adult things. Adult concepts. 

Adult stuff. They talked about things in books I never heard about. Sex. Violence. Complex things way over my head. My grandmother, my intellectual mentor, had told me I should do as she did. Read a book for fun. Then for your next book, read a book you know is over your head.

You don't have to understand it, she said. You just have to get through it. And always finish a book you start. One of the best pieces of advice I've even been given. Because it moved into other areas of my life. Always finish what you start.

IF you keep doing that, reading over your level of understanding, always finishing the book...over time you will begin to understand what you are reading. I read a lot of books where I had little idea what I was reading. But she was right.

Eventually, I got it. I got it all. While others, friends and even older family members, and parents, didn't even know what I was talking about half of the time. So people started to think I was weird. Just because I said things that to them were, gibberish. Knowing it was knowledgeable stuff, it was confusing. Alternately, embolding and disappointing, or depressing. 

Understand, this was in the 1960s. My family was a blue-collar family. My stepfather had a high school education. Had been in the Coast Guard in WWII. As a musician and a typist/clerk. My birth father had been in the Navy in WWII. I'm not sure what his job was, but he was later a construction electrician most of his life.

My mother had a 9th-grade education. But she was pretty sharp, just generally unfocused and a bit flighty. I was the first in my nuclear family to get a university, or for that matter a college degree. Though my cousin, my mom's sister's daughter, got her university educated some years before me. She went from high school to college. I went from high school, kicked about a few years, then the USAF, then a year off, and only then I got around to college. 

Back to the library. When I walked into the library as a kid, if I went straight ahead, past the librarian check out area on the right by the front door, walking straight forward, I'd hit that area I called...the Adult Section. 

I'd sit there and go through all the books one after another and was AMAZED, in what I was reading. I'd sneak a glance to the Librarian behind the counter and the one wandering about doing things or helping people, but they never once said, "HEY kid, what are YOU doing in the adult section?!" Never nary a word. So I just kept reading, surveying all those books. 

Eventually, I discovered some guy named Aristotle. Who I gathered, lived a very long time ago. I read his writings and they affected me in both good and bad ways. It might have gone better had someone explained what he was saying, just to put it all into perspective. And how it should relate to me as a kid and a kid in the 20th century. My ethics got a bit rigid and became a high bar for many years for me. For both myself, my friends and my family. 

It didn't help that my grandmother once told me, in trying to help me understand life, that a true friend would give their life for you. As you would, for them. That's a pretty damn high bar for friendship. Especially for a kid. And being ADD (I was more ADHD as a young and probably rather annoying kid, and high energy to say the least, just as my own son eventually was)...and therefore I was also a bit OCD, Nothing extreme, just enough that it was useful. I'd latched onto good ideas and take them to their natural and not always reasonable conclusions. 

Yeah, I could be a bit annoying. But eventually, I mellowed out. With the help of friends. It got to where I didn't have a lot of friends for a while and I was kind of bummed about it. Until a friend explained that my standards of ethics for myself and certainly my friends, was simply too high. Unmanageable. He convinced me to relax a bit.

It took a while but I took in what he was saying and did my best. After a while, things did get better. But it wasn't an easy thing to do. Breaking a habit. Breaking with a long established belief in how the world should work. 

This was in my early 20s. Later in life, I learned some ways to view life that made things event better. To trust, but verify. Some people trust no one. Those poor people. It can so easily lead to paranoia. That was part of my problem.

IF the bar was so high, you'd find people generally untrustworthy. They'd always let you down. But if you simply give people the benefit of the doubt, keep a wary eye on them, just being aware of things, then you can relax and you'll find you have more friends.

Just now I'm getting over a nasty flu experience that has lasted over a month. Today as I write this it is Thursday, March 15, 2020. This flu began on February 9th. My lungs are still a bit sketchy, they've been somewhat inflamed, making them feel somewhat raw, or "weak". But they're now on the mend.  I got an inhaler from the doctor, which has helped a lot.

I'm feeling better each day. But then, the pandemic hits. Great. Just, great. I cannot even fathom going through this all again and in my cohort, having a potential for death. One report from China said that some survivors are seeing permanent diminished lung capacity. Again. Just...great. 

I'm also going to be 65 in August. So again, I'm in that cohort of greater concern (good times, right?). They say this coronavirus, COVID-19 is of concern for the elderly in general, especially people with compromised immune systems. I don't feel elderly yet, but anyone over 60 they say, should be concerned. In getting over one kind of flu, I really don't want another. Not one that could kill me. Not that any flu can't kill you anyway. 

The doctor told me I probably just had one of the three usual types of flu, A, B (the two worse versions) or C. Because I had a flu shot end of last November, he said I probably just had A or B and the flu shot decreased its severity.

I have to say, I'd hate to have had it at full strength. As it was, it was just nasty and very uncomfortable. But I had little fever and not much body ache. Just an overall nasty feeling and those miserable breathing difficulties. Going to sleep was lying awake for hours in several cases in trying to breathe without evoking coughing fits or just great discomfort.

Luckily I've always been pretty healthy, though allergies have always been a problem. Apparently, according to my mother, the day I was born I had some initial respiratory issues. Then as a kid I had annual bronchitis. I hated that. But it got me out of school each year for a week at a time.

So breathing issues have been at the forefront for me since birth. 

Still, I started martial arts in grade school and was always a physically active person. Researchers have said that lots of exercise in your youth and 20s really pays off in leaving you healthier in old age.

I spent the first half of my twenties in the USAF in a very labor-intensive position. where i was essentially doing the same as being in the gum and working out from two to four hours every morning. On some bad days, all day long. And when the hard part ended, I'd just go pack parachutes which also a bit of a physical job. All of which I eventually realized, would one day pay off when I got older. And here we are.

So now we have an actual pandemic. Yes, it could be massively worse. And it may become so. Here's hoping not.

My point in ALL this? I have a background that is perfect  for fantastic thinking. It could be even worse as I've not lived through Ebola or anything like that. It is good for imagining far worse than anything we will probably experience. For causing myself more problems than I need in imagining worse than we'll see. I could write something, or make a film about it. Flu and pandemic movies have certainly already been made, that topic explored.

Not to mention, the zombie apocalypse films. My own new film I'm just now sending out to film festival, "Gumdrop", a short horror...is about a serial killer. I wondered though if it would have been better as a pandemic horror film. Or, if perhaps instead, I ducked a bad idea at this time, in not having made that kind of film. 

Some of the pandemic film titles? There are multiples of these titles and some are remakes.

Contagion, for instance IMDB lists three). Outbreak, obviously. The Crazies. The Stand, by Stephen King. I Am Legend (or The Omega Man, or the original, The Last Man on Earth, originally by Richard Matheson). One even named, Flu from South Korea. The brilliant and classic, The Andromeda Strain (by ), Cabin Fever. about a government weaponized virus gone rogue. The fun, 10 Cloverfield Lane. Resident Evil. Quarantine, of course. Carriers. Pandorum. The Happening. Bird Flu. 

And so many more, some listed in: Vulture's, "The 58 Best Pandemic Movies to Binge in Quarantine." Ranker also has: "The Best Movies About Disease Outbreaks."

So, in having such a great background for creativity and imagination and dreaming up the worst possible things in life, how am I now handling all this. What is now for us, officially a pandemic? 

Doing fine really.

How is that possible? I donno. Maybe having visited all the very worst life can offer when it really comes to be? Reading all those stories, seeing all those movies? Maybe people like that are simply prepared for it?

Or maybe I have such a relaxed attitude since there is not much I can do about it. I'm pretty logical about things. I've been trained to be. I categorize things. Take things one step at a time, especially when they become overwhelming. Maybe also, martial arts discipline has something to do with it. I learned Asian philosophies at a young age and martial arts philosophies. Samurai accepted they were dead before going into battle or to fight a duel. That freed them from fear and they could then fight logically, clearly aware, functionally...bravely.

I've also had a lot of emergency services training beginning in junior high in search and rescue in the Civil Air Patrol. Even before I was in emergency services and flying planes as a twelve year old, I was in martial arts in Isshinryu Karate where we were taught how to kill instantly. But also how to respect life and never use what we knew, unless absolutely necessary. When there was no other option.

Our Sensei once told us he'd rather he found out we ran from a fight than to kill someone. "That is," he said, "if you have to fight, go all in. But if you could avoid killing someone I'd rather be called a coward myself, for saving another's life, than kill them and be seen as some kind of hero, or a killer." That shocked us as kids. We'd grown up watching a lot of war movies and that was our goal, to be a hero, to see battle. Our Sensei was an ex Marine Drill Instructor who learned Karate in Okinawa from the Founder. It was a lesson that stuck with us. 

Life is horrific enough as it is. Yes, I do write horror. I do make horror movies. But oddly enough, that as they say, for fun and profit. It's a fun scare, a roller coaster ride, experienced safely before a screen or from a book. It's not reality. But it's also a way to experience things before hand. A good pandemic or apocalypse film should not only scare for furn, or simply entertain, but also educate. 

What if a killer enters your home at night? Think about the solution before hand. Be prepared. Not just a Boy Scout motto. Here's some suggestions. Entertainment forms like books and films can show us what is wrong to do. A normal trope in horror films to let you yell at the screen, "What are you doing?!!" 

Who do I feel for? Those people who have avoided the horrors of reality. Or in entertainment media in books, films or games. Who are only now facing the considerations of a pandemic. Those who are stunned and unaware of what to do, what can happen, what this all means. That has GOT to be truly horrific for them. And to them? I offer my condolences. But in surviving this current mess, let that be your being made aware. Go forward and learn, get prepared for whatever is next. Because in this new world, there will be more coming. Rising seas, fires, and so on. 

After all this is over, maybe take another, more informed look a the horror genre.

It's not all just what many think it is. It does have a useful benefit in preparing one for possibilities we'd prefer to ignore. I really hope we never have to experience some of those things but we are right now, after all. At least you would be better prepared now. If not simply emotionally prepared, actually prepared in having some sense of how to protect yourself and in consideration of the reactions others can have toward or against you, in situations such as these.

"The Walking Dead" series on AMC network, was massively beneficial in that respect. You'd think up until the point of these horror films over the decades that people in an apocalypse would be helpful, supportive, compassionate. But what we've seen in these things are that people can be fearful, greedy, vengeful against you for no apparent reason. Bullies come out of the woodworks as this si their environment and some have been waiting all their lives for it. The Road Warrior films exemplified this going back into the 1980s. 

I do hope people will be more humane and caring toward one another though, during an apocalyptic event. But let's enter it with eyes wide open.

Trust, but verify. Appreciate your friends and loved ones. Or those who could and might be your friend in a serious if not dire situation. Just always, always... be aware of human nature and how things can change, with some people, with some personalities, on the drop of a dime.

Be safe out there. Ever more Interesting times are coming...

Film Production 101 - "Gumdrop", a short horror

My new film, "Gumdrop", a short horror, is finished! In the can! We began on this film back in the Spring of 2019. We shot through the summer and I started post-production early las Fall. As of March 5, 2020, after speaking with the film score composer, Andrea Fioravanti of the Italian band, Postvorta, we agreed... the film is ready to be locked and distributed. That begins with the film being submitted to film festivals. Which I have now started doing.

This past week I began researching film festivals to submit to. I had previously submitted my last film, "The Rapping" to film festivals. My first time doing that. It won the Weekly Online Film Festival, and was shown at New York's, Midnight Film Festival. Now pieces of it have ended up in this current film as a kind of background in what was a rather challenging audio flashback scene.

This past Saturday night was our monthly Slash Night horror film event at the Historic Roxy Theater in Bremerton, Washington. I was talking to the event founder Kelly Hughes (also founded the Gorst Underground Film Festival, September will be the third annual and now a three-day event). I've been helping Kelly on his films over the past few years and now on the GUFF and these Slash Night events.

We started the monthly Slash Night events to support the annual GUFF. But also to build a community of local filmmakers. To bring us all together. To educate ourselves together and to build a sense of cooperation and support. And it is working. The Darkow film crew is working with Kelly on a new short film project we are filming at the Roxy Theater. I'm helping with that, too.

Kelly saw my first assembly draft cut of "Gumdrop". I had inadvertently called it a first rough cut. He and our friend and cartoonist, Pat Moriarity, had come to my house in Bremerton to watch it. Both of them live just across the bay in Port Orchard.

They had some positive and negative things to say about the film at that point. I was a little surprised by their reaction. To be fair, Pat said he's not really a fan of horror movies, but he has taught storyboarding in college and as that professor's eye that is always positive and productive for students. But they both had some very valuable critiques.

I mention this viewing because that week after they saw my film, I researched some things and came to realize, I had not shown them my first draft cut of the film, but the first assembly cut. To vastly different things. And so they judged it upon that mistaken understanding. My fault, not theirs. I should have said they were watching the first assembly, or assembly cut,  not a first rough cut.

The first assembly, or assembly cut, is the editor's first cut of the entire movie. The editor strings together all of the usable footage and organizes it into a chronological sequence that corresponds with the film's script.

The assembly cut is also the first draft of the movie edit in which the director has the opportunity to see the movie for the first time. In filmmaking, the rough cut is the second of three stages of offline editing. The term originates from the early days of filmmaking when film stock was physically cut and reassembled, but is still used to describe projects that are recorded and edited digitally. - Wikipedia 

I also mention all this because, at this past weekend's Slash Night, Kelly said he saw just a bit of my submission to our GUFF on FilmFreeway.com and he was very impressed with how much it changed from that first viewing he got many months ago. Since he last saw it with Pat, I have done fifty-four drafts of the film and added the film score and songs.

On that... I was very lucky to acquire musician Andrea Fioravanti from the awesome Italian band, Postvorta. No, really. Check them out! I laid down his soundtrack, we talked, he sent me another, I laid that down, I began to edit in the late stages of the film with the soundtrack in place and altered things accordingly and the film only got better.

It's hard to know what it takes to produce a film without doing it. In doing all stages of the film build process you really get a close-up view through painful and tedious work. 

I am not bragging, but this is the process one goes through. Of course on a bigger production where you have even one crew member, there are people to do these various things, all of which the director and producer may be intimately involved in throughout the process. 

I wrote the screenplay last Spring of 2019. It is based upon one of my older short stories, "Gumdrop City" and is a prequel to that story and an origin story of that main character. That story is a true crime story that I fictionalized and published in "Anthology of Evil", a collection of my first short horror stories.

It contains my first published work of science fiction, a short horror story ("In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear") and, my first novelette ("Andrew"). Andrew was eventually grown, along with another single page short story ("Perception") into my massive epic horror sci-fi book, "Death of heaven". 

I also later published "Gumdrop City" as a standalone ebook. Not yet as an audiobook, though I have a few. I first heard about this story at university in an abnormal psychology class. It was so disturbing I decided to write a short story to share that story with the world. OK then. Marketing crap out of the way, back to our story...

After finishing the screenplay, I chose and gathered the actors among friends, and actors, who I had worked with on Kelly's film projects in the past, and handed out the roles. We began principal photography where I was cameraman, sound tech, lighting tech/grip, cinematographer, craft services (food/drink for the actors and non-existent crewmembers), essentially, the crew.

Now let me mention something here. I've seen low budget, indie films where at the end you see in the credits:

• Directed by: Alan Smithee
• Edited by: Alan Smithee
• Produced by: Alan Smithee
• Cinematographer: Alan Smithee
• Soundtrack by: Alan Smithee
• Lighting by: Alan Smithee
• Written by: Alan Smithee
• Screenplay by: Alan Smithee
• Childhood horrors by: Alan Smithee

Look. Do NOT do that! In my film "Gumdrop", at the end it simply says:

A

JZ Murdock

Film

Or something like that. But, nice, brief, clean. Simple! Like me. OK? Don't purge the needs of your ego at that point. We get it. You're the MASTER. Well? You're probably not. Even the greatest of filmmakers are always learning.

Oh, by the way. Who's Alan Smithee? Surely, inquiring minds want to know. Well, too bad, this isn't about HIM!

Oh, and... THAT'S one of the thing I love about filmmaking.  So humble is good. And as my brother, seven years my senior once told me when I was in junior high, self-deprecating humor is good. If a bully picks on you, cuts you down..."Cut your self down first... more. But be funny. It robs bullies of their power and may turn them to your benefit."

Good advice. No. As it turned out? Great advice! Really great advice. It saved me from so many ass beatings, I lost count. And, made me many new friends. So thanks for that, Jon!

Anyway, as I had been saying earlier before my ADD lost track, got unfocused tangent (a woman once called me, "Mr. Tangent! But, that's a good thing!" She said. Okayyy, uh, thanks?) ...luckily for all of us, I was not an actor. Though when one actor dropped out playing a voiceover role on the day of the recording, I jumped in to sit opposite professional actor, Jennifer True for the audio flashback scene of the Sampson's character's child role and step-mother, and I played the visitor, Koloman.

We began shooting the film on set throughout the Summer of 2019. After that was over I began the editing post-production process in Fall of that year and finished, less than a week ago as I write this. 

The editing process is a beast. You have to select the shots to use out of all the raw video shot. That is when you discover if you actually have all the shots you needed. Or if any of the shots or audio aren't up to par. You notice continuity errors and issues and try to fix them in post. You have to match up the digitally recorded audio to the video. 

I also use an external mic on my camera (a Canon 80D DSLR) as an audio backup and it's paid off big time. Nothing worse than finding somehow the DR wasn't turned on or that the mic picked up the dialog in a weird fashion, or some other issue of placement or technical manufacture (such as having the audio pick up turned up too high, clipping the loudness end of the audio spectrum). 

What gave me the most trouble was the audio. As I inferred above, you always run into problems and you do your best to fix them in post, or you reshoot or re-record in ADR. 

"ADR (Automated Dialog Replacement) in film is the process of re-recording audio in a more controlled and quieter setting, usually in a studio. It involves the re-recording of dialogue by the original actor after filming as a way to improve audio quality or reflect dialogue changes."

I had Tom Remick, the lead actor in the role of Sampson, come back and do a brief ADR for a scene of Sampson, in the beginning, looking at a plant. All he had to say was, "My poor little friend." I think there was one other short sentence but I don't remember just now what it was. I then had to match that up to him speaking the words on screen so it looks like he said that. Which means you have to match the cadence up in recording it, or perhaps speed it up or slow it down slightly in post. 

It's not for the faint of heart. Not for the tech doing the audio replacement, or for the actor. I have a lot more respect now for actors who come back to do ADR to themselves on screen. It's tedious, it's difficult and professionals earn their keep. As it is, what we did turn out well. But I'd prefer to avoid it in the future, though at times, it can be impossible to avoid. The more money involved in the production, the more important and necessary it can be. 

There are also issues of sound levels, compression, and separating out the audio of tracks for dialog, soundtrack, music, and sound effects. You have to hear the dialog over all other sounds, or not. It's a decision of the audience understanding the scene and story. When there is too much bass in the music, you have to lower it to understand the dialog, or add treble to the dialog. 

The video is similar. You have to control the color, the white light "temperature" (which hopefully you did on set using real or artificial lighting and camera controls. Matching up the video clips so there is a smooth transition. Shot and scene transitions have to be managed. Special audio and video effects have to be built, acquired and manipulated. Do you give sound to everything you see on screen, or not? Whatever supports the scene and story, of course. 

Do you use real sounds or fake? Foley sounds made up and applied. IF you use the sound of someone walking or being stabbed, it may not sound at all like the action. So you use shoes on a wood floor or stab a head of lettuce, or whatever makes the scene sound real. But you can't overdo it. 

Movie magic, I like to say. Make it seem real to the audience watching the film. And sometimes you go overboard, and it works! Sometimes it fails miserably. It's an artistic choice much of the time and requires a consideration of the format of the film, the story being told the orientation of the filmmaker and other elements. Which is why we take classes, read books, watch videos and best of all, learn from and work with filmmakers who are better and more educated than you are. The best you can access.

Once the film is "locked", the distribution begins. Actually, wise words are that it should begin, whenever possible, before you initially put pen to paper. But for many low budget, indie filmmakers, it's not so much an option and you're left with submitting to film festivals once the film is ready to go out. 

And that, is a whole other blog. 

I started taking a look at film festivals about a month ago, ramping up until the end of post-production. As of this time, I have submitted to about ten festivals around the world. Mostly good, solid local ones. So far one big on, the Austin Film Festival. Some international ones, I have two in Ireland (I'm half Irish born in Tacoma, Washington, and visited there for my birthday in 2015). I've been to Cork and Dublin, so I submitted to a film festival in each town. 

Andrea, our soundtrack composer lives in Italy. So I found a festival about two and a half hours from where he lives. He may not make it, the film may not get accepted, but at least I made the effort so that if he wished to, the film might get accepted and he could have the opportunity to show up and enjoy some of the attention I may get to receive. It's really only right to do it.

Festivals I've submitted to, after reviewing top ten lists of best festivals for in my case, indie horror films to submit to, and reviewing the festivals I came up with. Some of these gave me a waiver so no entry fee! I just asked. One even said to ask them if you are a local filmmaker. I got waivers in the Crypticon. Some of these I've entered before with "The Rapping". 

• TMFF - The Monthly Film Festival
• Gorst Underground Film Festival (my festival I judge with Kelly Hughes who founded it)
• Portland Unknown film festival
• Crypticon Seattle Horror Film Festival, which I've attended several years, twice getting a room, the best way!
• Horror Show Festival in Italy, near to Andrea so he could go if he wants
• Cork International Film Festival, as I've been to Cork and sounds like a great festival
• Oregon Independent Film Festival
• Austin Film Festival, my big one so far
• Bleedingham Film Festival is a fun festival that opens soon and I'll submit. I graduated from Western Washington University in that town, so a college town submission that not only has meaning for me, I might attend if I get accepted, or win.
• Washington West International Film Festival, supposed to be a top ten festival to submit to, and local
• The Midnight Film Festival, they selected my film, "The Rapping" last year in 2019

How many festivals should you submit to? Up to you, and how much money you have. Be sure to read the rules and about info to know what you're getting into. I entered one for "The Rapping" and was rightfully disqualified, as I had missed it was for student submissions only. Luckily, it was a free submission.

So for me, now, that's ten. I may enter the Port Townsend Film Festival up north of here. I love Port Townsend and it can draw big names. They also require DCP format, which is a bit of a pain, rather than the format my film is in now, MP4. My daughter was working up there several years ago and called me up to say, "Tom Cruz is walking down the street." So you never know who might see your film.

And that's about it. For now.

Much more later...

So, I know, I know, I should add in some inside jokes, some blooper reels, some brief and funny or weirdly bizarre asides, but...no. Maybe in the DVD extras?

Speaking of which. The film is now done. I got some DVD blanks and I've had some DVD covers for a few years which I had almost gotten rid of but now I'll use for this. I have to make up a graphic for the DVD covers. Hey, I'm getting there! Soon. This week even. I'm still not to 100% of my energy after a month of healing from that damn flu. No, not THAT damn flu. Just, the flu. But, it sucked.

Now I've shared Gumdrop with some close to me on Google Drive. My kids. My editor of "Death of heaven". Her husband is my friend, so they both get access to it and later I'll get them a DVD. In fact, I'm still thinking up who to offer it to.

Let's see. So far I've given offered it to Ilene and Kurt Giambastiani (this is in no particular order by the way). Did I say Ilene was once my editor until she had to go and start a new career as a small businessperson? By the way, I love Kurt's "Fallen Cloud" series of revisionist history. I know, sounds stupid but it's so amazing, well written and historically accurate... until he subverts it for fun and profit.

I said, my two kids. Who else?

Oh, Erwin. No, wait. Andrea in Italy (see above). Since he did, after all, do the soundtrack music. I mean, come on. Not to mention what Italy is going through now with this COVID-19 virus crap.

Oh, Erwin. Great photographer. I met him online in the 90s over a Clive Barker play he was producing. He sent me the music and years later, I sent that to Clive's archivists, Phil and Sarah. I met Clive a few times in person, and that's a story unto itself. But as far as meeting a celebrity doing me any good...not so much.

But then Erwin Verweij and I reconnected on Facebook years ago. And, he's awesome. But, he lives in Rotterdam, Netherlands and I live in Bremerton near Seattle, Washington. That being said, we both know we need to meet one of these days and have a very good whiskey and talk. He has my young self's dream job as a photographer. Long story. It has a bit to do with my older brother who was once a bit of a photographer.

Anyway, I'm now working on the DVDs for friends and whoever should get one of Gumdrop. I'm going to look into that this week and I'd like to include some DVD extras. There is definitely some entertaining stuff from our film shoots. Festivals get my film from what I uploaded on the Film Festival site.

And, end scene. It's been a long weekend. I've covered so much above, I hope something was informative or entertaining to you, or someone.

Enjoy your week/year. Stay safe, avoid the hype and nonsense and go out and be brilliant and be productive! Sláinte! Cheers!

Oh, that was something I'd meant to mention. Gumdrop ends with a word no one knows. It's actually a word that ends old Czech films. Like "Fin" in the |French cinema, I ended both "The Rapping", and, "Gumdrop", a short horror, with Sláinte.

Why?

I grew up watching in the 1960s in America on our local PBS channel. Because, the lead character in Gumdrop, that being, Sampson, is half Czech and half Irish.

Just like me.

So?

Sláinte

Should We Blame Pres. Trump for Damages by Coronavirus?

Should we blame Trump for the damages by coronavirus?

Uh, yeah? Pretty much! With great prejudice and appropriateness.

Why? OK, look...

It's long been known that Trump has considered his re-election has much to do with the economy. So should we blame him for this market crashing and economic shrinking JP Morgan say is inevitable, as well as COVID-19 hitting America, even though Trump says it won't?

Abso-fucking-lutely!

Yes, we should blame Donald John Trump for all that is bad that comes from this coronavirus pandemic. Yes indeed. But, what you ask?

Look, Trump has depended on the Obama economy to claim it as his own success. He and his supporters ludicrously claim it's Trump's bumbling and mumbling extremely bad management and his appointees, many of whom he has fired and replaced, fired and replaced, fearful of anything but "acting" appointees because he knows not what he does in his shotgun management style, which is a bad manager's way of managing.

Whenever I've seen Trump's miserably poor guessing as action, management style in a boss, a manager, or in a CEO, I got away from them ASAP, or found them to be soon replaced. Too often with a golden parachute, an advancement, or no repercussions except to the damages to the company they leave, in our rampantly out of control style of capitalism in America.

Trump has relied on Russian interference in our elections to get him elected. He found it so useful, he has asked Russia for it again, has denied it was Russia at all.

Trump has asked for China to do the same and help him get re-elected.

He has depended for decades on Russian crime money, the Russian mafia, the criminal Deutchebank money laundering entity, his own Russian money laundering properties, and Russian Oligarchs as well as American Kleptocrats to maintain his incredibly bad management and "business" style and his bullying and criminal mob-style orientation to "succeed".

Trump has depended on his "The Apprentice" make-believe "Donald Trump", the "great manager", the "great businessman", both vast lies, as his entity to prop him up to become POTUS.

Trump has consistently relied on made-up or outside entities to get him into the White House. Let's just hope he doesn't stay there.

So YES, we need to blame him for Coronavirus, for shutdowns, for the market crashing, for the economy shrinking, or a recession and he should reap those benefits in losing this election and being denigrated by the media until he crawls under the rock from when he emerged.

And all those he has brought out into the light with him, also need to slink away into history. Steve Nenuchin for instance, who was instrumental in people losing their homes in the 2008 financial debacle as well as others in the Trump administration.

In this sense, COVID-19, sad as any deaths may be and are coming to America, could be our Godsend in ridding America of Donald John Trump. Finally. Yes, it may take an "Act of God", because, in the style and wild claims of too many ridiculous American Christian leaders, God may indeed be pissed at us, for a Pres. Trump. And all the anti-Christian actions he has perpetrated upon us.

Even aside from all that, we cannot listen to a Pres. Trump who lies to us over and over, over three years, with over 16,000 lies. Bizarrely, literally every time he spoke. Now during a disaster or pandemic, we're supposed to believe he's suddenly telling the truth?

Really?

Not to mention, Trump has rotated some of the worst people to head administration, agencies, and departments, until he got the very worst of the worst, who will roll over without question and do whatever he wants.

So we're not just getting the worst people, we're getting all of them.

Several major fact-checking sites regularly fact-check Trump, including:
PolitiFact,[70] which awarded Trump its "Lie of the Year" in 2015,[71] 2017[72] and 2019.[73]
FactCheck.org,[74] which dubbed Trump the "King of Whoppers" in 2015.[75]
The Washington Post said in January 2020 that Trump had made more than 16,241 false or misleading claims as president,[1] an average of about 14.8 such statements per day.
The Toronto Star, which said that, as of May 2019, Trump had made almost 5,000 false statements since his inauguration.[76] -Wikipedia
#trump #gop #tepublican #conservative @realdonaldtrump REALDonaldTrump #putin #russia #china

We Must Pursue the Best of and In US

From the speech JFK was to give, had he not been assassinated:

"There will always be dissident voices heard in the land, expressing opposition without alternative, finding fault but never favor, perceiving gloom on every side and seeking influence without responsibility.

Those voices are inevitable. But today other voices are heard in the land. - voices preaching doctrines wholly unrelated to reality...most especially from the right and Republican. Voices of quantitative, not qualitative considerations, with little or no regard to that of quality, or compassion.

Impassioned with numbers, not Humans.

We can no longer expect that everyone, to use the phrase of a decade ago, will, "talk sense to the American people."

But we can hope that fewer people will "listen to nonsense."

Breaking that down as we can clearly see today, Kennedy's entire first paragraph refers to and defines today's Republican party.

JFK's second paragraph refers to the extremes the GOP follows like ravenous puppies in they striving for never-ending power and wealth. While people die, while the earth dies around us.

JFK's final words define those of us who take the time to find what is real against the unrealities so very perpetrated ad nauseam by the right, by the greedy and by our few but singular and elite enemies within Russia and elsewhere.

One sets precedents to build upon, not to revisit out of vainglory and bigotries, our foolish and removed beliefs of inculcated ignorance we now see fanned into flame merely for the purpose of power and corruption.

Women have rights, minorities have rights, Reality has rights, over the many and varied disingenuous right-wing evangelicalizations.

Those are our Rights, our Human rights, our American rights.

And yet the rightwing conservative thinking, especially the religious-sects wish to tear down our advances from ignorance and self-indulgence.

Yes, we should be forcing decency upon this country, no matter your orientation or party. Not religious decency. But human decency. Yes, we should be supplying healthcare for everyone, and any argument that it cannot be done, be damned. We can do anything we put our minds and hearts to!

Though we might have to stop giving entitlements to the rich, to corporations who don't need it, to the military, to the petroleum agenda, to war hawks who keep us in never-ending vastly expensive wars merely so they can claim we cannot support our citizens, our infrastructures, rather just those citizens who have been impoverished and deluded into traveling the world murdering for us.

Yes, of course, we need a strong military. A wisely smart military. Not the one imagined by unwise politicians.

Rather than us doing the hard work and using politics and economic forces to aide the world, so we do not HAVE to have neverending wars that enrich the wealthy and powerful in a neverending cycle of draining our resources while enriching the wealthy.

We do not need to support the worst citizens of this world in such as Donald John Trump, or Mitch McConnell, or Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un, or Pres. Xi in China or the ridiculously conservative and rich, right wingnuts to the point that they are racist in actions, if not outright white supremacists in the likes of Marie La Penn in France, Putin in Russia, or Trump in America.

We should be building UPON these things, not trying to tear them down. Otherwise, it is like graduating grade school, then fighting tooth and nail to get back in that elementary school door again.

Brown v. Board of Education, established that racial segregation is unconstitutional.

Roe vs Wade, ruled that the Constitution of the United States protects a pregnant woman's liberty to choose to have an abortion without excessive government restrictions such as the GOP are pursuing today all across America. And under the guise of religious reasonings. Which should have no place in an American government that is based on a secular model exactly so that free citizens could worship in their own ways, or not at all.

That latter part is far too frequently pounded upon and ignored by those who are entitled, or in power. Religious have for far too long been used to abuse, to wrest power from the ignorant and the kind. Or kind minded.

The trial, of John Thomas Scopes, commonly referred to as the Scopes Monkey Trial, was an American legal case in July 1925 in which a high school teacher, John T. Scopes, was accused of violating Tennessee's Butler Act, which had made it unlawful to teach human evolution in any state-funded school.

These have been laid to rest. They are settled. Let us move on, and forward, not downward and backward!

For Trump supporters, IF you do not see Trump doing anything you do not like, outside of his personality or demeanor, in the areas of policy or actions, that is your FIRST sign that you are deep in not the conservative or Republican mindset, but the Trump echo chamber where you have lost your way.

Even during Obama, I liked just about all he was doing. And one did have to give him mass respect for putting up with all the Republican uselessness, abuse and racism he was up against.

You typically can't listen to the vocal extremists and haters but you can listen to those even-tempered and rational opponents. In hearing some of their comments, I took a look at some of Obama's actions and I did find them lacking, seriously so in some cases.

Still, MOST of the manufactured Republican noise against Obama was utter bullshit.

As it was with Hillary.

But some issues under Obama I did find concerning. Such as how whistleblowers were handed, how national security issues were being handled, how Putin was (NOT) handled. These were serious issues. Issues I know had much to do with Obama getting poor advice and of his own ignorance. but also of his trying to be functional at all under an onslaught of Republican abuse and obstruction.

What is so interesting there is most of the noise from the right against Obama was indeed utter nonsense.

But even as much as I respect Obama, he wasn't perfect. No one is. But sadly, that offers no excuse whatsoever to Donald John Trump.

if you think Trump is perfect, then you are outright defective in facts and reality and quite lost in the Trump "echo chamber" of utter and sincere bullshit.

Trump himself, is bullshit.

That hasn't been a secret at all, all through his years in New York. Everyone at his level knew it. And many far below him.

The Trump GOP is now bullshit. The establishment Democratic party is now far too much bullshit.

We do indeed need a change. Bernie Sanders appears to BE that change. Like it or not, that may be where we are headed. And if that's the case, ew somehow have to make it work.

As for Bernie as POTUS? I'd far prefer someone with decency and a concern for others, rather then just some dumb schmuck like Trump with little or no management experience other than to have his ego sucked whenever he wishes it.

Tar too many are all too ready to fall in his wake to perform. And to have free range to act the bully and never be called out for it or feel the actual responsibility of things like managing people, dealing appropriately with women, or actually making money.

Let's Change! But let's try something new. A change for the better!

Let's make it work!

Let's do the hard work. There are no easy answers and Republicans love those. Push-button fixes that fix nothing but kick money upstairs. Shallow explanations that fail with time. Shallow people who fail with time and then are promoted upward or outward. Or escape after damages with a |Golden Parachute.

Let's purge America of the despicable, the underhanded, the criminal in our government who have through the Trump Republican Party overtaken and begun to dissolve and destroy our government administration, overtake our judicial system and implode our Executive branch as well as our Legislative. 

We need to put this country back on course, back on a better path, back on a path to the future and not the past, not our worst selves, but our better selves.

Back on Our Path. Back on the Path the Founding Fathers hoped for and worked hard to produce.

Really all we have to do it keep people from destroying it and it should run like a well-oiled machine. If only we could stop people from trying to subvert it for their own selfish interests and desires.

We can do this. We just need to do the hard work.

About Angels

I'm reprising a popular blog of mine from back in 2011 on Angels.

Although I've made no secret of my Buddhist orientation at this point in my life, I was raised Catholic. I've always been fascinated by Angels. In my own way. I love the series films with Christopher Walken called, "The Prophesy". I've always found Angels as badasses. Great  not religious, but sci fi fodder.

Powerful, frightening, entertaining, but righteous in their dedication to what is right. Rr what they think their God wants. Or more interestingly, what they think may be right, even when they're wrong. It's a paradigm ripe for drama and intensity.

I have used them at least twice in my writings. Once in my book, "Death of heaven" where they are both a central force in the story and yet not there at all. I also used them in my novella, "The Unwritten" (as yet unpublished). In the latter story, I had no clue they were to be characters until nearly the end of the story and then, they became a powerful force and locus of the novella. It was fun to write. Pure weirdness. Both are, even if I say so myself, fascinating stories.

Christian mythology is fun. Vampires are afraid of a Crucifix, where Holy Water affects them and protects the poor Mortals. Push-button resolutions against terrifying odds.

I'm writing a novel where there is a character that has a relationship with an Angel. So I had to do some research. There is a thriving industry of commerce, in the world, on the internet. People claiming to speak for the Angels, selling online and in books and video, aspects of myth and information filling that void some people have in their lives for some connection to their Supreme Being, their God. Some even worship the Angels, but why you would want to worship anything other than the top dog, sorry, Top God, is beyond me.

Demons and Angels even come from the same beginning. The words for Demon and Angel have similar origins, and one can assume many of the demons mentioned were originally Angels Fallen Angels. And that is a consideration fascinating enough in itself and has been the focus of many interesting tales. What is an Angel's morality? Are they above it? Aside from it?

Here is what I found. There are many ways to interpret the literature, and so, this is my interpretation of what I found.

"ASSUMPTION of the VIRGIN" by Francesco Botticini showing the choirs of angels in the three Spheres.

There are three levels of Angels. The Top Choir, is the highest rank of Angels. They attend to God directly. They are his Holy Servants. Ezekial talks about Cherubin carrying God and his chariot. They were the defenders of God. Cherubin stand outside the Garden of Eden so Adam and Eve can't get back in. A Cherub is not a cute baby with wings, that thought came up in the Renaissance, they are not somebody to meet on a dark lane, as they could turn rather nasty. Don't screw with a Cherubin. This top tier includes the Seraphim, Cherubin, and Thrones.

Saraphim are always depicted in red, symbolizing Devine Love; Cherubin are always depicted in blue, representing Wisdom. According to Christy Kenneally, host of the Smithsonian Channel show, "Decoding Christianity": "Cherubs as cute babies are a Baroque and Renaissance fabrication. Angels didn't have wings in the beginning, because of possible confusion with the ancient Gods, like Mercury who also had wings. Artists had gotten things pretty close to correct up till then, when they kind of went off the deep end.

Once Humans started to become "enlightened" they lost their inner eye for that of science and began to lose their connection for that of speculation. There are no such thing as baby Angels. Cherubs were then reduced to the lowest level of the Angelic ladder. But they are one of the three most powerful and fearsome of all Angels."

The Second Choir are those in charge of the Universe. The Overseers of Nature and Fate and are: The Dominions, the Powers, and the Virtues.

The Third Choir are the Human intermediaries who deal with us mere mortals. They are our first and initial connection to God, going first through them, then through the rest of the hierarchy. These include: The Principalities, the Archangels, and the Angels.

By Gustave Doré - Alighieri, Dante; Cary, Henry Francis (ed) (1892) "Canto XXXI" in The Divine Comedy by Dante, Illustrated, Complete, London, Paris & Melbourne: Cassell & Company Retrieved on 13 July 2009., Public Domain

St. Thomas Aquinas wrote a book on Angels because there were so many questions during his lifetime about them. Do they eat, do they procreate, do they wear clothing? Do they have gender?

Rafael will blow the trumpet that heralds judgment day and of the end of the World to Muslims. To Jews and Christians, he is the Angel of Healing.

Gabriel is God's Messenger. To Jews he destroyed the city of Sodom. In Islam he brings the Koran to Mohammad.

Michael, is the most powerful Angel of all. To Jews he is the guardian Angel of Israel. In Islam he brought thunder and lightning to earth. In Christianity, he flung Satan and his army of rebel Angels into Hell.

Angels appear to a person as their greatest embodiment of their expectations, therefore, in the past they were always male angels, but now people are not so entrenched in a patriarchal society and angels can appear as male or female, but always as the greatest beauty in expectation of that individual's beliefs.

Michael's name means "he who is most like God". When Lucifer said, "I am like unto God." Michael merely responds with his own name, saying: "Michael (Who is like God?)." And at that moment, the war between the Angels begins. It is a spiritual warfare, a spiritual struggle.

Lucifer is then cast into Hell and named Satan. He is depicted as the Dragon, the beast. But Satan has a history that comes to us from preChristian origins. He gets his horns, his cloven hooves and some of his character from Pan. Pan the bisexual. For Christians, Satan represents the evil of paganism. In defeating a Pan-like Satan, Michael can also be seen as defeating the old Gods.

Michael, had a pagan ancestor too, the Roman God, Mercury. Monuments and churches dedicated to the Archangel Michael were almost always built on high places, and almost always on the ruins of the of temples dedicated to the God Mercury. Like Mercury, Michael always watched over commerce, communication and has healing powers.

In the 6th century, there was a plague. Pope Gregory prayed for help and there was a vision of Michael at what is now, Castle St. Angelo, on a site that was once a temple to Mercury. It was then that they began to call him "Saint Michael", or "Sant Angelo" ("Sainted Angel"). It seems to me an odd concept to Saint an Angel.

It was in the 5th Century, that St. Jerome expressed the concept of each and every person alive having their own "Guardian Angel" when he said: "how great the dignity of the soul, since each one has from his birth an angel commissioned to guard it." (Comm. in Matt., xviii, lib. II).

I personally see that as somewhat limiting in an Angel's scope and power, but hey, it makes people feel better. The concept of intermediaries between we poor mortals and the Supreme Being, kind of makes sense. But one has to consider whether these are separate entities or simply minor manifestations of that Supreme Being.

When you consider according to Christian doctrine that God split himself in two, or three, being that also of Jesus and the Holy Spirit, or Holy Ghost, why couldn't this "Supreme" Being split up in millions of ways? Even unto condensing elements into individual mortals such as we are?

It's an interesting consideration. Not only this, but all of the Angel concept. And it makes for great storytelling. Which I will soon be adding to, once I have completed this new novel. I can only hope that the fun in reading it will come through from the fun I'm having in writing it.

A Once Fair and Equal Plan No Longer

When there is a plan set up to be fair and equal and one side gets tired of losing, impeaches their leader (Clinton) on the other side and he still wins the next election, then they discover or simply decide to stoop to anything in order to win, at any or all costs to themselves, or to anyone, and when they do begin to win, does it not make the once fair and equal plan if nothing else, unequal. If not outright broken? Then to soothe their disheveled egos they merely point away and blame the other side for actions they themselves initiated and prefer time and again.

So how is the other side to adjust?

Stoop to underhanded, and similar even at times illegal means, or try to regain the upper hand through the old and accepted, that is, once considered honest methods?

Even when those methods no longer seem to function?

And what do you say when the ideology of the other side was so warped that it made their opponents appear at least to them, skewed, dishonest, untenable? Even those most of the rest of the entire world disagrees with them?

IF they then decide out of, if nothing else, sheer frustration to stoop to the actions of their now no longer opponents but simple enemies, then what is there left for everyone?

Anarchy and winner take all? That is what the first side chose.

Does that mean that now everyone has to live by their unfair and untenable rules? In a once fair and equal plan now no longer functional?

For then all those between and all those beneath will really be the true losers.

But how in such a post-truth society, does the more fair and honest side even attempt to try to restore equilibrium? When their actions will decrease the other side unfairly winning, who will then blame the fairer side for using underhanded means? When they are merely trying to restore a functioning system and a fair plan where merit should win and the powerful should have their place?

Is then restoring sanity and fairness, equality even if it had been unequal, to be again functional, even possible any longer?

Or, was that the unfair side's point in the first place? To break, to end, to raise up a new aristocracy, a new autocracy, a new kleptocracy that is openly vain and greedy, and accepted first by their supporters knowledgeable in their complicity, then by their supporters ignorant of their having cast the weight into those had always had been their enemies, until finally accepted eventually by all in simply no longer having any other choice?

What exactly do we really want to be?

Welcome to "Ugly" America Down the Rabbit Hole

Senate Republicans and their questionable leader have not cemented in the reality that a much "uglier" America is being led by a very, very "ugly American" and following his illiberal lead, some other "ugly" Americans.

Welcome to today's world where governments are being forced down a path by foolish "leaders" of an electorate based on a movement of self-perceived hurt egos in the realm of white supremacies, ignorance, greed, and foolishness.

It may not be bigotry and race war that is at the base of this movement greater than America, but it is a similar base of thinking in cognitive dissonance, in the abandonment of cognitive powers. Where they are turned against both the individual as well as the society at large. 

With little care, but with a great passion to continue the path one's on, regardless of the damage to themselves or anyone. Because they wish to believe, against all reality.

In a reference to Boris Johnson in the UK, an older woman caller from Wales said to David Dimbleby, Journalist and Podcast Host of "The Sun King", where Johnson's intentions in Brexit would financially harm Wales and this elder woman... her explanation was thus...and so very explanatory of what is also going on in the right of American politics:

"Cuz he's a liar! He's a liar."
"Why do you like him because he's a liar?"
"Because it means he's human. And he's got balls of steel."

What's that all about? Identity.

What's white supremacy about?
Identity. 

White Identity. And ignorance. And adhering to beliefs regardless of reality, because of assuaging perceived pain.

What's going on? A revulsion against politicians' divisiveness.
Lies behind painted faces.

This is what many think Trump supporters aren't seeing but feel is painfully clear. Maybe it will work out. But what we have is a delicate thing. As we've been warned time and again and time again.

"There are a variety of ways to gain power. There are illegal means to gain power through brute force; one can also gain power legally by winning a majority in an election. There are revolutions, Putsches, uprisings. But each of these methods requires a political group to win the sympathies of the broad masses, if it wishes over the long run to maintain is power. But the sympathy of the people does not come of itself; it must be won.
The means of gaining that support is propaganda. The task of propaganda is not to discover a theory or to develop a program, but rather to translate that theory and program into the language of the people, to make them comprehensible to the broad masses of the people. The goal of propaganda is to make what the theorists have discovered clear to the broad masses."

- Joseph Goebbels, Will and Way 1931

What is the solution voters, mostly right-wing voters have taken?

Just elect an outright liar. One you (mostly incorrectly) perceive to be lying FOR YOU. Rationalizing through incorrect beliefs in the economy, or whatever you can drum up to support you, to give you a perceived reason to be passionate, against all reason and at times, too many times, sometimes all the time, against all decency.

Alice (1988)

We have submerged beyond the rim of a rabbit hole it will take many years to extract ourselves from while many of us sit by a nearby tree, in the shade of reality, and wonder aghast, in pain, while those who were in pain, now feeling freed of that pain. [come on, follow along this is an Alice in Wonderland reference...rabbit hole, Alice, her sister waiting by the tree...nevermind...]

Why?

Because opiates, whether chemical or political or emotional, assuage one's pain, even if we should die because of it. Even when we are aware we cannot stop it.

And so, screw the rest.

Finally a bit of anonymous humor and a feeling for what's going on.

To end, just thought a little humor injected into this mess might help and offer some feeling for how this Senate "trial" is being perceived by many. From a friend of a friend of a friend:

THE ROAD SO FAR...

ALL THE WITNESSES: Ok we all agree. This is what happened.
Republicans: None of you were in the room!
BOLTON: *raises hand* Well I was in the...
Republicans: Who asked you?! Shut up! You’re a liberal pawn!
BOLTON: Um... I’m actually I’m a lifelong Republican and I was literally Trump’s national security advi...
Republicans: Shut your mustache! Somebody bring back the first national security advisor.
FLYNN: *in orange jumpsuit* Hey sorry guys I’m in jail lol.
Republicans: What? Why?
FLYNN: For lying to the FBI about the Russia investigation.
Republicans: Well what idiot told you to do that?!
FLYNN: The Pres...
Republicans: Shut up! No one believes either of you!
KELLY: *raises hand* I believe them. And I was Trump’s Chief of sta...
Republicans: Shut up! Let’s talk to the real chief of staff. Who is he?
MULVANEY: *raises hand* It’s me.
Republicans: Shit. Never mind.
PARNAS: *raises hand* I was also in the room. In fact, here’s a cell phone video of the President saying that...
Republicans: Wait what?! How in hell did you sneak a cell phone into a meeting with the President?
PARNAS: It was easy I just walked right in and...
Republicans: Shut up! You’re a criminal!
PARNAS: Correct. And I just walked right into...
Donald John Trump: I don’t know him.
PARNAS: And here’s 500 pictures of me with the President because we’re besties.
Republicans: Wait... What idiot introduced you to the President??
PARNAS: His personal lawyer.
Republicans: Cohen??
COHEN: *also in orange jumpsuit* Hey no sorry guys I’m in jail too.
Republicans: Why?
COHEN: For campaign finance violations.
Republicans: Who’s campaign?
COHEN: The Pres...
Republicans: Shut up!
PARNAS: It was Giuliani.
YOVANOVITCH: Giuliani! That’s the guy who had me fired from my job!
Republicans: Who are you??
YOVANOVITCH: I was the ambassador to Ukraine.
Republicans: Wait, you had her fired? Do you work for the government??
GIULIANI: Nope.
Republicans: Well who is the ambassador to the European Union??
SONDLAND: *raises hand* Me. I was also in the roo...
Republicans: F@$&!!!
Mafia and Russian Boss Vladimir Putin: *rubs his bare chest*