Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What is erotic? What is sensual?

We all have preconceived ideas on what we find erotically or sexually arousing. Some of those things are so deeply seated there is little one can do about it other than, perhaps, alter it a little. In some cases however, those deeply seated desires and erotic considerations can be enhanced, added to, or completely changed in a single moment of heat and desire.

My hot, little girlfriend (okay, at 5'9" maybe not little) through my college years was full German. First allow me to say that she was blond haired and blue eyed; a very bright, tall, leggy, woman with a runner's physique. Did I say quite attractive? Her mouth was forever in a somewhat downturned pouty frown that made you want to cuddle and please her whenever you looked at her.

Admittedly, her appearance and our relationship may have affected me in the end.

Still this is a good example of how things you thought were rock solid, could be so altered without a moment's notice.

In our intimate discussions around that time, I had always indicated a partiality to certain French erotic motifs, as banal or common though they might have been.

For instance, I found intriguing, such slightly fetishistic thoughts as the ubiquitous male fantasy of a woman in a French maids outfit; or having sex with a girl while she is Frenchly whispering soft "sweet nothings" in my ear. Or, well anything softly whispered in French for that matter. Actually, she could have been excoriating on the French penal code for that matter and it still wouldn't have had any negative affect on me. Let's face it, a hot looking woman, speaking French, coming on to a guy...obvious attraction.

The poor sweet girl had listened to my own foolish understandings of my own lame preferences until she had finally gotten fed up with those rather pedantic attitudes of mine. So she was after all a proud German girl and decided to made it a "thing" to prove to me that her German culture wasn't so bad compared to the French. In hindsight, perhaps rubbing that particular nationalistic wound wasn't the best idea around.

So one evening she took me to a very good German restaurant. I didn't know there was such a thing. She ordered for me what she considered to be "good" German dishes. And I had to admit, it was indeed pretty tasty, even though I'm more partial to Japanese, Thai, and Viet-French cuisines.

That night she had also decided to prove that the German language could indeed be a "romance" language. I had discussed with her earlier, how German was described as a "guttural" language and not one of the "romance languages". A traditional academic stance.

At that time we were taking Linguistics at the University. Our very energetic and sweet, old Linguistics Professor was from an Eastern European, Slavic country, and spoke Germanic languages himself. He received a best teacher of the year award the year we graduated.

She told me that she had wanted to object in class when the Professor had described German as a "guttural" language. The term "guttural" merely refers to the fact that the language is spoken mostly from the back of the throat; whereas most romance languages are pronounced more toward the front of the mouth. Therefore making them appear softer, more gentle, and thus more, Romantic. The short trip to erotic is not a big leap to take, and the history of the French culture for romance and eroticism certainly adds to that understanding.

My girlfriend had decided to keep her feelings to herself that day in class. Until that night, that is. That evening, she proceeded to come on to me to prove her point. We were seated on the couch next to each other, she had her feet tucked beneath her with her knees toward me, one hand playing with the hair on the back of my head and she was staring intently at me from inches away.

In this kneeling, seated position, she was slightly looking down upon me and began to move in more closely. It was a very sexy and provocative approach for her to take. She leaned in and began to aspirate typical sweet nothings with her breath hot and heavy in my ear, but all in German. I found my blood pressure rising, my skin flushing and a desire to move to action overtaking me.

Still she held me in place with one hand on my chest as she continued her verbal and slightly physical foreplay. Until finally, I could take it no longer. Needless to say, this proceeded to a very pleasurable experience for both of us, lasting most of the night; wherein I could no longer fathom any difference of having been spoken to in either German OR French. To make a long pleasant story shorter, in the end I fully recanted my former position without any further consideration to demur, left in my mind.

So, should you ever have similar thoughts about how you feel regarding what turns you on, what is a prominent erotic ideal in your own mind, consider this: what you might think is a solid eroticism for you, what you may even consider to be your sensual fantasy, may not be as founded in concrete as you might think.

If you simply keep an open mind, and should you be lucky enough to have the right person to lead you down a more open and enlightened path than the one you've chosen, you may just find that there is a much wider spectrum of desire available to you than you had ever before considered possible.

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