Our mom has been gone for a few years now. She's definitely in...what she would say is, "a far better place". Incredible mom the first part of my life. A very odd character the last half.
Or maybe I just didn't notice it so much as a kid.
Mom's are our wives who mother our children, and...more.
They have to put up with a lot...
When my 1st born was yet to be born, I did a Tarot card reading for my pregnant wife and I which came out saying that he would be a "he" (which was correct), and a "demon" (which was also correct). "Demon" in the sense of a child that never ran out of energy, while his parents did, feeling far older than they were.
You had to follow him, everywhere. "Out of sight, out of mind"? That was insanity. For us, and his safety. But just a good time for him. So I did wnat I could to enhance that for him, and for his safety.
He was much as I had been as a child, apparently. My mother, over visiting one day pointed that out to me saying that it was like watching a little me running around. About the level of energy he and I had, she added: "If I put you down for sleep at 5AM, you'd be back up at 6AM!"
My comment back to her was, "Well, I just want to thank you for not killing me as a child. Because now I understand what I must have put you through." Honestly, I think I was the worse of the two of us.
My wife and I were often exhausted... but he was an amazing, happy, fun bundle of mostly never ending energy & happiness.
I could talk here about my youngest too, but this isn't about kids per se, and they were both pretty pleasant to raise, so... what I will say is that I apprecaited my youngest having a more quiet demeanor and greater ease of handling. Still, both were a joy to raise, honestly. Though both were still "kids". So, there it is.
As for my siblings and my mom, there were a lot of issues with her over our lifetime together. And apart.
But the mom I remember best is the one whom I dearly loved...this version in the photos strip, above.
The adventures we had with her as kids...through many different homes and schools, in different states, even different husbands and in different countries.
That is the mom I prefer to remember.
Many of us have experineced such problematic things with our mothers. Some simply cut them off. Interpersonally, mentally, emotionally. I did myself from time to time. As did my siblings. They and I had a round robin over the years of who would take the lead to deal with her.
Between having some form of mental issues and her self-medication, life was seldom ever simple or relaxed around her. I used to say within 15 minutes of being in her presence, she would start in on us. It would then take a day (or days) to try to recover from. Not a massive issue, but it wore on you time and time and time again.
Anyway, try not to do that to yourself. IF you can find it in yourself, for yourself, to enjoy the once beloved "Mom" side of your mom whom you wish to remember.
Remember, HER.
Just remember THAT person. Feel free to love that version you most perfer to remember.
Especially if that was your first version of your mom that you knew.
Because they were the "mom" who formed you. So? Love...HER.
And Love Your Self.
Happy Mother's Day. To us all.
Cheers! Sláinte!
Frank Zappa & the Mothers Of Invention
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