Since this is the Christmas weekend, maybe something on that order would be called for. A Merry Christmas eve day to you all!
Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around.
- Bryan White
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- George Carlin
There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas.
- Robert Lynd
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple
Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!
- Ogden Nash
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
- Jay Leno
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'"
- Dave Barry
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven."
- W. C. Fields
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
- Charles Dickens
Christmas renews our youth by stirring our wonder. The capacity for wonder has been called our most pregnant human faculty, for in it are born our art, our science, our religion.
- Ralph Sockman
To everyone, I wish you all a very happy and merry Christmas, to you and your loved ones, and especially, to those who are bitter of heart and ignoble of spirit; may a lightness, heavily befall you and bring happiness to you in a way that suffers not those in your realm of influence.