TDS is a Symptom of Obama Derangement Syndrome

For those trying to peddle the nonsense that the GOP today is Lincoln's Republican party...stop it.  You are embarrassing yourself through your lack of historical knowledge and reality.

Remember... The Republican party supported classical liberalism, opposed the expansion of slavery, and supported economic reform. Abraham Lincoln was the first Republican president. Under the leadership of Lincoln and a Republican Congress, slavery was banned in the United States in 1865.

However, this and now, "Donald Trump" Republican party today is a far cry from Lincoln's party and would be more for slavery back then than today's Democratic party, which back in the day, was actually against Lincoln.

Also and FYI, ODS, or "Obama Derangement Syndrome" led to the symptoms of TDS in conservatives. (and no, neither really exists except in the fantasies of political pundits who need to grow up and do a far better job).

Yeah, weird world...right? Hey look, I'm just getting started.

First of all this all started, of course, with a conservative pundit, the late Pulitzer Prize-winner Charles Krauthammer when he originally coined the term, "Bush Derangement Syndrome" during that administration.

Krauthammer since updated this in an article from 2017. He died in 2018 of small colon cancer. If one wishes to explore derangement toward anyone it would be Pres. Obama. Take Congressional Republicans who stated that nothing Obama put forward during his administration would be acted upon as long as he was president. That, is not the orientation of a real and actual American political party. But of a seditiously extremist oriented one.

In 2010: "John Boehner, the likely speaker if Republicans take the House, offering his plans for Obama’s agenda: “We're going to do everything — and I mean everything we can do — to kill it, stop it, slow it down, whatever we can.”

"Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell summed up his plan to National Journal: “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” - Politico

There is a derangement. "We'll have none of this doing out job stuff!"

Which then led to Obama using executive orders. Which led Republicans to cry about Obama's not working with them. Seriously guys...WTF? That massively helped to spiral us down into the current polarized Congress and dysfunctional electorate that we have today.

Krauthammer makes a valid attempt at his updated explanation and revision to Trump. But misses one valid point that he almost touches on right at the article's end. Much of what Trump supporters view as deranged is actually frustration, justified anger, embarrassment, humiliation, and worst of all, contempt, on the national and the world stage.

George W Bush being so severely disliked was justified as his, to be polite and at best, "mistakes", got half a million people killed in a war that should never have happened. A war he was planning for years before he was ever elected. A war that had nothing to do with those who attacked us on 9/11 or WMDs.

Referring to the other side as deranged is somewhat immature diatribe attempting to dismiss outright, to neutralize, rather pathetically so, some very real and obvious concerns. One as such cannot argue in support of a Donald Trump, so one pivots away instead to mere name-calling. Apparently.

Aside from the fact that it is juvenile it offensively and on purpose, tries to infer that the expressed concerns of the labeled individual are simply of no matter whatsoever and attempts to in a rather weird way, gaslight the individual as well as a social group, to reduce that person's concerns to the concerns of one who is delusional.

Which, in considering Pres. Donald Trump, truly IS delusional.

Bush also, but outside of his existence as president led to 100,000s of lives lost, not so much of a concern to America as it has turned out, as is now Donald Trump. Considerations of Trump getting a second term are now of great concern.

To America, and the world at large.

As for the updated version being related to Donald John Trump, he too should have opponents in his precious political base who see him as a disaster, a mistake, a miscreant and because of HIS mistakes, literally, thousands of Americans have now died from COVID-19. That is questionable only by Trump himself and those supporters of his who truly do now appear to be delusional.

Bear with me a moment while I explain this. TDS, or Trump Delusion Syndrome (experienced only by rabid Trump supporters), has a symptom known as ATDS, Accusatory Trump Derangement Syndrome. which is actually a symptom of ODS, or Obama Derangement Syndrome which is where this particular go around all began.

Here's how that works...

A low information Trump supporter (or one of selective ignorance or what is more generally known as "stupid" or merely as a "Trump Republican"), who originally hated our last and one of our greatest presidents, Barack Obama, loses Pres. Obama as a focus of their hatred in our 24-hour news cycle as target of their incensed anti-non-conservativity.

Trump comes along and is elected presiden and is so obviously bad, so fully incompetent, that the Obama haters with ODS, do what the Republican party has taught them for decades, and best exemplified by Donald Trump in doing his very bad things and then pointing at any others, projecting his actions, or possibly crimes, onto those others who were calling him out for what he shouldn't have been doing in the first place.

Those easily distracted and convinced of this, take up his call and parrot that along into their social media bubbles and their biggest bubbleator sounding chamber of Fox News. Or today even more so, to OANN, with and as with Donald Trump, its potential ties to Russia and their state Putinesque news network, RT (Russia Today).

It's really just about slowing down and redirecting accurate attention away from Trump's actions to build an extra and bigger swamp and to deconstruct the American government.

Part of that dynamic is to use massive viral forms of obfuscating, pivots away from, distractions, and redefining everything and anything they can in a 1984ish way, so as to allow Trump to get away with those never-ending bad behaviors of his.

The Trump version of his Neverending Story. Though even more childish than the original children's tale.

Or as John Dean @JohnWDean) Tweeted: "This man [that is, Donald Trump] can really really self project.... Not since US Grant has any administration tolerated the corruption that DJT does, and no president has been as corrupt as DJT. As for incompetence I am confident DJT will be Number One, easily displacing Buchanan and Andrew Johnson!"

Yes, that IS the fucked up reality we are all now immersed in. The Donald John Trump sludge of his administration.

And thanks very much for that, Trump conservative Republican party and its previous incarnation, the once GOP... even before America and now the entire world were exposed to Donald Trump's ludicrous forms of "management" and what he likes to call, his "administration". But we all see mostly as a mob organization with Russian mafia flavors to it.

Which the rest of the world now knows as, isolating and destroying the entire American government, the cohesiveness of the nation's citizens, and the spirit of America overall.

Trump and those which no longer exist, now that he has taken them over...the once GOP and no longer Lincoln's Republican party which was never such as today's "conservative" party is.

Remember... The Republican party supported classical liberalism, opposed the expansion of slavery, and supported economic reform. Abraham Lincoln was the first Republican president. Under the leadership of Lincoln and a Republican Congress, slavery was banned in the United States in 1865.

That would never have happened under today's Trump "conservative" Republican party.

No, the GOP today and the Trump GOP has nothing whatsoever to do with the party of Abraham Lincoln.

We're now in a brave new world. One populated by Trump officials who are openly cowards.

TDS? The delusions are strong in these Trump supporters.

And yes, America. We can do better. 

Ask yourself, "Am I Racist?" Just say yes... then do better.

I will not say, "I am not racist." That... is always a mistake.

I'm white, all my life. I am not as racist as many others, more racist perhaps that some. I can only say this...I always try to treat people like I want to be treated. It takes no effort from me.

And I don't feel defensive, or worried about people being better than me. I don't care. If you're better than me, cool for you! And I'd be happy to share a few moments with you to better MY life, if you would allow it. The thing about that is, you can't always tell who is actually better than you are.

I do not feel guilty about racist issues. I didn't do it. I wasn't a slaver and my Irish ancestors weren't either. In fact, they were treated like dogs in coming to America, and in staying in Ireland as the British abused and murdered them. But' that's another story.

I also recognize I'm not 100% NOT racist as I grew up after all, in a racist country. On that matter, allow me to share and highly recommend Robin DiAngelo, PhD, and her book, "White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard For White People To Talk About Racism".

But first...

Because a certain podcast comes out tomorrow on Tuesday of this week, there are two parts to this blog for this week. First, I just wanted to say a few words ON the podcast. Secondly, and the main part of this blog, the far more important part, I wanted to talk about something in the podcast related to this blog's topic.

So, about the podcast. I want to give a shout out to the, Scene of the Crime. A local Pacific Northwest podcast who is posting an episode with "Gordie" being interviewed from my true crime biopic screenplay, "The Teenage Bodyguard".This story is about a teenage protecting a murder witness, "Sara", from the local mafia crime family after she witnessed a murder. She witnessed the murder of Danny, a bouncer at the place she worked at, run by the mob in Tacoma, WA. In 1974.

 That is about the true story, soon to be produced into a film. True crime films aren't documentaries. Parts are always fictionalized. But the podcast is 100% as accurate as it could be made. Movies, need to be entertaining and follow elements of "story'.

The podcast is about the actual people and events, and what really happened back in 1974 in Tacoma, WA. We are currently looking to produce the film as a 2019 era story. I'm working with "Gordie" (his real name) and Voyage Media producer and head of their Originals Department, Robert Mitas.

The podcast comes out sometime on Tuesday, June 9th, 2020. Check it out!

I contacted the producers of the podcast on the off chance they might be interested in the story. And they were. So, some back and forth, and then they interviewed Gordie. He sent them some follow up emails and then one final one to the podcast producers. And I thought I should share it here because it relates to the blog this week. And, it's interesting in relation to the podcast should you listen to it. It's pretty interesting. Here's his email:

"Quick message. I'm watching Official Secrets (2019). It got me to thinking.

I had said in an email I was just glad to get "Sara's" story out there. I later reflected that this is also Danny's story and even fewer people know about it. The thing is, I have a connection to "Sara". None to Danny.

I really have no feelings about him. But I know he deserves to have his story told too.

And that's all I wanted to say. I suppose in a way, Danny has more right to this story and it being told than anyone. So I'm glad for him too now. If Sara survived, she along with all those women at the venue where she worked, had a rough ride.

But Danny McCormick, didn't get the rest of his life. Like the woman who got to testify and died of a "drug overdose". But her story was at least somewhat told. In court.
Danny got nothing. Now he will.

Thank you.

Hope you have a nice weekend. Don't work too hard!"

The other reason I mention the podcast is the Black Lives Matter issue, which really this blog today is about. Racism was a small part of the podcast interview related to Gordie's years at his high school. Which was anywhere from a third to half black and many of those kids were from the inner city. 1970-72 was a turbulent period. We don't know if the racism issues will be brought up in the podcast, probably not as it's about a murder. Another issue was that of sex, which I'm sure will be dealt with in the podcast.

Gordie just wanted to make it clear that his reason for taking on the protection job in this story, though initially sweetened with the potential for a young guy to get to have free sex with a slightly older woman, really wasn't his primary motivation. Then it grew to be even less important as that week developed in1974.

A comment about "Sara". there was a lot of loose sex, free love, a holdover from the 60s. still some small communes around and though today it may be hard to see this back then as what it was, there wasn't anything sleazy about it. Though some to be sure took advantage and some were abused. Overall it was an experiment that didn't last.

Some would say for good reason. I've seen documentaries about women being abuses in some of these "communes" But that wasn't all of them. I had known some people in a commune or two myself and in one everything seemed pretty equal and happy.

In another, it seemed very clear to me the women were running things. It was interesting to see the men in the group in such an environment. They weren't "wimps" or "gay" or weird even but believed in the equality of each individual. I'm not arguing for them, just saying what I had observed. And that it wasn't for me. Gordie says he feels the same. It was interesting, but not for him either. And I suspect overall, too many women may have been abused in these living situations.

The whole thing, according to Gordie, just started to help a friend out. And then things got weirder and weirder. It went from helping a friend to helping a frightened woman out. But let's face it, a seventeen or eighteen-year-old guy being promised sex when he'd at that time had only one (ex) girlfriend who he had regular sex with? Yeah, it initially held his interest. High hormones and all.

Sure, it was interesting. But he was also highly disciplined (just watch the movie when it comes out, you'll see what I mean). Not like many of the guys he had known, some who would do about anything for sex. Guys who would unquestionably compromise themselves to be a "ladies man", an orientation so popular back then. Hugh Hefner and all.

However, the other issue, considering the race riots downtown Tacoma's hilltop area back then was something Gordie grew up being aware of as a kid. His mother had told him, never to go downtown when he was trowing up. He met his first black kid in junior high. The school had one. Nice kid. Then he entered the big scary high school in tenth grade and couldn't understand why the black kids there all seemed so angry.

It would be good here to share this comment from Gordie.

Back in high school, there were reasons to not like some of the black kids. But though he was intimidated, even harassed some of them, he never felt any animosity against any of them. Actually, most white guys he knew felt that way and when they did have bad feelings it was because a black guy was dating a white girl.

Then things could get a little ugly, verbally and in private. It was the only time he said he saw it come out like that. And even then it was pretty curbed and only happened a few times that he can remember. There didn't seem to be that much racism around. Not overtly anyway. But that could also be chalked up to not wanting a beat down. It was a turbulent time and he eventually understood that by mid-tenth grade. It wasn't just him, it was a turbulent time. Blacks were coming into their own, finally and he felt justified for them. No one, no American should be treated so poorly as they had. The evening news was full of reasons why blacks were so angry.

In all the years since those days, he said he has only met a few blacks (guys mostly) who he did not get along with. But then the overwhelming majority of black people he has met or had contact with, and certainly the ones he knew and worked with in IT jobs, he really liked. The incident of his meeting unlikable back people in his entire life was in fact far below the number of unlikable white people he has met. Some of which, he thoroughly disliked.

There were fears of some of the black students in high school, kids who grouped together for protection, something the white kids didn't do to such a degree but felt like maybe they should at times. A racist reaction against perceived racism created from racism. If you see what I mean.

So he began to pay attention to the news and came to realize these kids had reasons to be pissed off. He just couldn't understand why they were pissed off at him too. Still, he treated everyone the same. Basically, he just didn't care. White, black, whatever, you're just another kid. He just didn't get "racism". His stepfather a few times had used the "N" word and he had always felt disgusted by it. And his mother didn't like it and said so in the moment. So there was that, too.

It may not come up in the podcast, but much of this was in the interview. I would say, Gordie isn't racist, though his step-father was. But then he never really liked him very much. He had reason to become racist in his high school, but it just wasn't how he was raised. His mother had raised her kids to be accepting of others, to always be fair, to know right from wrong, and stand for what is right.

And to deal with each person for who they are, not by some grouping they are included with. That never made any sense. What does it have to do with anything? Not the color of their skin, or their accent or some club they belong to (but then the KKK wasn't prevalent in his town either). In the 1960s his mother was openly accepting of Gays, Blacks, Asians, anyone really.

Gordie had mentioned in the podcast interview about his high school experience, just stating the facts, really. But later wondered how he had come off. Did he appear racist? Would he seem so in the released podcast? He had several run-ins with guys in high school and some of those were black. But he was always able to defuse the situation before it got out of hand. Because he had nothing against them. Black or white. There were a few black guys he was friendly with, but he couldn't say he had any black friends back then. Friendly acquaintances, sure. The few times he tried to be friendly with a black kid, they'd just look at him kind of weird and the group would talk about other things. So perhaps wrongly, he just gave up. But then, some of that is just high school cliquishness. And we try to assign it to racism.

Still, he had always, and I know this for a fact, treated people with respect, as long as they respected others. This past week he was at a Black Lives Matters protest with one of his kids and their spouse and another friend. So was I. We all should be or have been. But then, that also doesn't make us not racist.

Racism is just built into our country, our society sadly. And that's the problem. And why we have to try to understand and learn what the problems really are.There are many videos of blacks being abused. But a few short poignant videos that I liked are from someone who works on Seth Meyers' show, which point out what blacks go through, and whites just don't.

Here's a few fo them. Amber Ruffin 1, Amber Ruffin 2, Amber Ruffin 3.

And that, if anything, was Gordie's problem in high school. As some of the black kids would posture in front of their friends and pick on white kids when the opportunity presented itself, if a white kid stood up to them, a group of the kid's friends would surround the white kid. So it was scary at times. I don't think many of the confused white kids though, realized it was also scary for the black kids. Mostly everyone understood and shied away from one another. Which was too bad. An opportunity missed. Though there was a reason apparently that the school had several plainclothes security people wandering around. But the kids all liked them.

They could have used some kind of bringing them all together sessions, designed just for issues of race. But let's face it, America was pretty ignorant about all this still, at that time. Still is. But ways for very different kids (not so different really) to get to know one another? Because those you do not know, can seem intimidating, when really, we're all just defective and scared too much of the time. Especially in high school? It could have been a great thing.

But those students back then also, luckily, had a great man as their principle, a smart, funny black man named Willie Stewart. He was an amazing educator apparently all loved. It was a period in that school that could have been far worse. But as it turned out, it was all pretty livable and everyone pretty much got along. In great part, because of that man. But there was always that level of tension you would feel concerned over.

It was just a sign of the times, really. And again...still is.

SO NOW we are up to today and what America is suffering through. But also, we are waking up about Black Lives Matters (BLM) and continuing  Police abuse. But really it's about so very much more.

Black people in the late 60, the early 70s were finally finding, coming into their own. Standing up for themselves. Sick and tired of the incessant abuse in their daily lives. And that scared the hell out of many white people. Blacks were protesting, just as we're seeing now, all these decades later.

WHY are we still seeing this need, this inherent racism? Black people being murdered by cops? What IS that? As someone said, racism needs to evolve out of itself, or it cannot end. Which is why we're seeing it again, and again, and again.

Yes, cops murder whites, too. But that's really not the point here and now. Is it? After all, IF we help with Black Lives Matter, to fix the police and this idiotic orientation, isn't that going to help us all?

We are all Americans. Period.

And we ALL deserve respect...specially by those we pay through our taxes. I don't' know why some police don't get that, why some politicians, especially on the right, don't get that. They work for us. Someone please make them understand that because they seem awful high and mighty at times. Why do we feel like they just don't get it?

Because it's a fact! We are all, American. But perhaps even more so for our Black community, as well as our Native American, or First Nations, communities. Who really, were here first.

Now?

It disgusts me people are judged (sometimes at all) by their skin. As someone pointed out, by our largest organ. I have every reasonable reason to be racist from my past. So does Gordie. But it just never really was an issue. For either of us. I can speak for him, but I won't for myself.

We have GOT to end this administration as it is only exacerbating the situation. We have to vote Trump out of office, along with a majority of Republicans in office. And the many Trump-appointed so he'd have plenty of "Yes' people surrounding him. Never a good sign.

I feel I want to say that if you vote for Trump, you're racist.

But let's face it, if you're American, you're racist. Safer to think you're racist than to not. Then just go from there.

IF you think you're not racist, you're not examining your life well enough. See, even if you're not, you work from a foundation that is and so, you kind of are. Get it?

Pretty much black, white, whoever, you have racist elements in your life. Even when you try not to exist within a racist framework you cannot even see. And that is all many Black people are saying.

So DON'T say, "I'm not racist."
Say, "I don't want to be, I try hard not to be.and I want change so I don't have to be."

Some Black people I've known were at least somewhat racist, but it was obvious it was a reaction against racism against them. Since birth. So safer to just assume we're all kind of racist and go from there.

Racism is a defensive mechanism that comes from fear. Sometimes as with white people, also from perceived oppression and not real oppression.

When you are afraid, you naturally seek a reason, a source for that fear and you react in protective ways. Sometimes in oppressive ways. better to oppress than be oppressed? I don't think so.

As with antibodies in our system, sometimes they start to eat you, the good parts, and that has to be systemically stopped in order to save your life.

You may not be able to see it, so just be careful about denying it. Try to see how you are defending yourself, and ask why, and against what and what is the real source of your feelings?.

Because too frequently, we're railing against the wrong people. Just as police are against protesters. Trump and his Republican party are against the American people.

As our society is against minorities. Of all kinds.

We can be better. But first, it's going to hurt. But keep pushing for it. Because if we don't, our children will have to. And their children and their children will have to, on and on, until someone finally stops it.

Let's be the ones to stop it.

Democrats vs Republicans

First, pandemic. Please be safe and wear your masks, social distancing. As we open America, medical experts STILL ask people to just wear masks and continue to social distance. Masks are to protect mostly others, from you. So be a good citizen, suffer a little for what may save a life.

Jimmy Kimmel: Please, vote Donald Trump away... Video

George Floyd, love and condolences to his family and loved ones and those so affected by his death and the state of this issue overall. Black Lives Matter national and international protest, please be safe. Protest. But do what you can to stop criminals, bad actors, false flag cretins (Proud (girly) Boys, White supremacist bad actors, and so on.

Antifa and anarchists are for the most part peaceful socially conscious people. All groups have some bad actors. But these are not terrorists as Pres. Trump claims, or his right-wing bad actors like to target them as a whipping post.

Don't we have enough with a pandemic, without murdering our citizens? And all during a historic space launching of the successful NASA SpaceX Dragon to the ISS. Congrats to all involved!

Now...

America. Not socialists, not communists. However...Democrats vs Republicans

Social and human ideas of our parties:

Dems: Based on community and social responsibility

GOP: Based on individual rights and justice



Understand, America...is a country. Tough thing to understand for some, I know.

Definition of country: a nation with its own government, occupying a particular territory.

OK. Nation: a large body of people united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular country or territory.

Except, America is a unique experiment. A mixed salad of cultures brought together by a common belief in freedom and potential, safety from abuse by others and by dictatorships or royal decrees. Equality.

America is a group. Of people, not just separated individuals.

And the GOP hates that and works against it. And so it continues to be a fundamentally flawed ideology and organization that in the end supports power and money. Preferably of individuals. Meaning, the few, the powerful, the elites. I've said for years that modern American conservatism is defective.

A couple of relevant articles also point this out:

Comprehending conservatism: A new framework for analysis

What Is Conservatism and What Is Wrong with It?

They tend purposely to lose the forest for the trees, focusing on the minuscule and blowing them up, to distract, obfuscate, eventually making it propaganda.

They have convinced those most harmed by this to continue to believe in it, regardless. And they really hate this being pointed out to them. But, how else does one deprogram this?

It's brilliant really. To get your victims to fight for you, loudly, whenever they can and profess to lay down their life for you. Not for themselves.

Brilliant.

Why are Conservative Trump Supporters So Confused?

Two things upfront. Wishing you all a safe and reflective Memorial Day for all those who have gone before us to protect and give us a country we can all be proud of. Also for all those first responders and front line medical workers, and workers keeping our country functional and fed through this miserable pandemic! What has happened of late under the GOP and Donald Trump certainly does them all a disservice and really we must do better in November 2020!

Also as for the title question...we can thank Donald Trump as POTUS for his supporters being so confused, and the Trump Republican party. Both, disinformation machines. Pres. Trump loves all that, loves the chaos. It's who he is, how he faultily "manages" his businesses, and sadly, so very sadly, exactly what was elected as president in 2016. History will not read well over that one.

We can do better! Quite, easily. Just about anybody viable would do better in not wanting to rip America apart for reasons of pure partisan, personal benefit and apparently just sheer joy.

My main concern now in life after Trump is his GOP's continued de-evolving that we've seen now from Reagan through to Trump, an ongoing downward spiral that turned into a rapid straight down plummet in 2016.

What disaster will next replace Donald Trump one day as the next nightmare Republican offering to evoke a political Hades? If Trump wins in 2020 even HE will be worse than 2016 Trump because then all restraints are off and he'll just continue to try getting off the rails.

What massive tragedy next will the GOP subject America to and the world, and humanity, and the ecosystem and planet? I'm just not seeing rational, functional, inductive reasoning capabilities in many of the arguments presented in support of Trump or his GOP.

I long thought conservative's issues were a lack of comprehension (or compassion) of the counter-intuitive for that of, at times ineffectual, straight forward logic. But I'm beginning to think it's actually just something closely associated with it.

Occam's Razor is a good base, but life is complicated. Though in this case, Trump does frequently appear simply stupid and we're now quite used to his typical lies and hypocrisies, all while he continues to play stupid and lie. He is after all, fairly one dimensional.

Bad president Trump! Bad! Down boy!

It seems simple enough, really. But once again, life, reality, politics, national management, and leadership are not as simple as Trump once believed. He's in way over his combed-over thinned hair and thin skinned head.

The conservative ability for deductive reasoning appears faulty much of the time whenever it comers to Trump. When you base your initial data on false evidence or fallacious logical structures, how could you ever come to a reasonable and realistic conclusion anyway?

They seem to go deductive all the way in to the most simplistic forms, frequently stumbling into logical fallacies that simply fit their inbred filters designed within ideologies, not reality.

Ideologies by the way, long since proved faulty. Trickle down voodoo economics? Please...

Trump is one major logical fallacy himself, if not simply a bag of logic traps and flaccid logic overall.

This is why Trump supporters, for the most part, aren't really bad people, or even stupid as they sometimes appear to be. I prefer to think people are in general actually, good people. They are just lost in their own morass of misobservations, Misperceptions? Maybe. Trump's incessant lies, his ongoing disinformation, and fundamentally faulty conservative/Republican platform is something to behold. To be sure. Almost worth the price of admission. If it wasn't all of our lives fundamentally involved at the focus.

So Trump's base end up being honestly and "morally" outraged. But for all the wrong reasons most of the time. I'm unsure if this explains their rage against liberal/progressiveness in merely trying to do good. Their outrange so often for people they don't even know, or understand, or are ever associated with, or a part of.

I don't personally hate anyone for their misguided misapprehensions about non-conservatives. I just feel sorry for them when they can't see it is actually they who are so solidly on such very unsolid grounds. When you make decisions from a foundation of incorrect assumptions, information and your leadership who outright knows they are lying to you, well, you are setting off from tainted realities.

On the other hand, it is much like they are standing on a sinking Titanic. Which should be obvious to them, and yet, what they see is the sea rising all around them, they are  lost. Can't be the fault of the Captain, leadership, form of administering the course of the ship, or the ship itself in any way, and so they are morally outraged at who, at what...the sea?

The sea being, "reality"?

Their frustration is as obvious. as it is misplaced. And manufactured.

Of course, greed and self-interest do enter the Republican picture at some point in their,

"You can't have MY money!" Rather than the more American and decent, "Take some, and it'll benefit me and others as well, others who desperately need it. After all, maybe one day I will too." Rather they prefer the fantasy of pay nothing and then when they later DO need it assume, "Give it the Hell to me because I'M desperate and how am I not more important than all others?!"

Hypocrisy thy name is rabid capitalist Republican.

Sounds a bit to me like the American evangelical Christian movement who allegedly "teaches" Jesus' words, then ignores them for profit, megachurches, and hatred of immigrants, minorities, and others in their xenophobic, homophobic, ignorant and bigoted ways.

When Jesus clearly taught otherwise.

Which I know is counter-intuitive since so many of them seem to think that the seas are not rising and only of late have come to the realization they may be but it WASN'T US! And yet, many still refuse to see the direct evidence of humankind as the accelerator in the climate change formula, and so much else. "It wasn't me!" As if it were their mantra.

Why?

Because it lets them continue with short term profits so easily. To have no ethical responsibility or reason to stop their bad behaviors. Behaviors, many of which, have been going on since before any of us were born but in the past thirty years or so, have been militarized in a way, or weaponized seemingly against most America citizens.

Although that is bizarre, it is also how governments work through history and why America was structured differently. But it only took 200 years for conservatives to uncover how to game the system. Democrats aren't innocent, to be sure. But for different reasons and in different ways.

Our priorities have shifted, decades ago. We never caught up as reality whooshed right past us into the future, so now our rather frightening present is killing us. With an even more disturbing, even scarier future around the bend up ahead. The planet is now rebelling against us, and for good reason. We need to change for the better.

Our environmental policies need to change. Our meat industry needs to vastly change. Our economic policies need to change and address not greed but need. Not the poor but our actual economic engine. Not the big corporations, the Trillion dollar elites, but the people, the small businesses and get back to innovation and progression.

It is a future most of us can see now. Unless we have a stock portfolio, apparently.

It is the easy, the short term profit they seems to be killing us most. The Republican mindset. The Trump style business mindset. The greedy, ignorant, short term mindset. When humankind is a long term project, as is America. We need to either all wake up to this, or take drastic action to force those in power to do something, and stick with it. 

In that way, there would no longer be a need for this zombie conservative way of thinking, this big business, multi national corporation, big money, big stupid, big dumb... Trump Republican party.

It is 2020. November will be upon us shortly. We can make changes. Even the Republican party knows we need changes and Trump ain't it.

So, will we finally act like responsible Americans?

Or do we re-elect Donald John Trump and HIS Republican party?

Because it's not up to them. It's up to... US. All of us.

Ten Years of Murdockinations, is Today!

My first ever, Murdockinations blog article was published on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 at 10:07AM.

It was titled: "First Blog here...."

And, it went something, exactly like this...

"Well, this is my first and official Blog on a Blog site.
"It should be interesting.
"I have blogged on my own site, and on MySpace (killed that account) and on Facebook, and on Helium.com, but I thought it might be interesting to see how this works out on here.
"Life in the fast lane.... "

Yep, that... was it. Short and nervous about doing it. What WAS I getting myself into? It's been a long and fascinating ride. Through the Arab Spring right into COVID-19! But there were many, many good times, also. Here's some examples of my Murdockinations blog from hashtags on Twitter.

My next blog was of more substance. It took me a while to become confident enough to speak openly, and to find my "voice". I began a blog to make myself more accountable to public comment, to deal with all that can entail. And that can be a lot at times.

And now as of this blog here today, I have now published 1,390 articles in those 10 years.

I was already long a professional writer and Senior Technical Writer in IT around the Pacific Northwest. Initially associated with one of the top, well-respected contract agencies. I'd been published a few times in computer rags and my first short sci fi horror story was published in an east coast quarterly horror magazine in 1990. I'd also worked remotely as an unpaid writer for an east coast narrative film production company for five years.

So much has happened since thit first article. I've written screenplays, though my first, "Ahriman", a sci fi story and was written actually, just after graduating from Western Washington University, in taking one final quarter of summer classes, merely to finish a full screenplay before leaving college. I had a blast. Didn't study, didn't read class literature, just showed up and took tests and still passed all my classes. Sociology, even with a "B"! It was fun not having any stress at all and all I did was leave class for the day, go home and write for up to sixteen hours a day on the screenplay. 

I have published two books of fiction, "Anthology of Evil" a collection of my first short horror and sci fi, and "Death of heaven" (and yes, the "heaven" IS in lower case), and various other short stories. I'm now working on a sequel to my first book of newer, published and as yet unpublished short stories and a novella "The Unwritten". I've also written, produced and directed two short films now.

The one I finished back in March 2020 ("Gumdrop", a short horror) is making the, well, let's call it the global pandemic film festival circuit of 2020. So yea, that's pretty problematic. My first finished short film and there's a global disaster. Just...great. 

My kids have grown up and moved out and on. One now married, both living in other cities. Though for a while a couple of years ago, after selling my home of sixteen years in Suquamish, Washington in 2016, I and actually, we three, rather oddly moved to Bremerton, Washington. 

Oddly because it is the only place I have ever been incarcerated, at seventeen years of age, back in 1973, but only for a few hours and then let go. Though someone of the thirteen of us jailed that day did get charged. Just with cannabis possession. And I had only been in Bremerton from Tacoma that day on a mid day break in classes from Lincoln High School, to see my girlfriend at the time, Char, who was a student at Olympic College. Never did get to see her that day. And I ended up missing my last class back at my school and then, had to go to work that night at the Auto-View Drive In where I was either Snack Bar Manger, or Box Office Cashier that night. I can't quite remember. now. But I worked my way through all of high school there.

I was also age seventeen at the time of my true crime biopic screenplay, "The Teenage Bodyguard", which details some of my exploits back then which involved Tacoma's Carbone mafia crime family, a murder of their own bouncer, and a terrified murder witness. This film project now has producer Robert Mitas attached to it who previously produced films with Michael Douglas (their last being, "I Have Always Lived in the Castle" with the weird uncle played to perfection by Crispin Glover).

The Suquamish house was one we moved into including my last most recent wife (or my in total 3.5 marriages...long story) and my two kids back in 2000. I didn't know then it was near the end with my wife as we then divorced in 2002. Then I moved into a rental in 2016 with my son and two years later he moved out and my other child moved in and then we both moved into another. Once another place was found, I was then alone. And where I am to this day.

Our German Shepherd, Buddha Thai (named after my ferret from my college years who I had for five years), sadly died at the previous huge house in 2016 at just a couple of months shy of his fifteenth year of age.He was a great dog.

After moving to Bremerton I continued my association and friendship with producer/director Kelly Hughes. We have since founded and started both the Gorst Underground Film Festival and the monthly Slash Night horror series at The Historic Roxy Theater downtown Bremerton. All on hold now for a global pandemic. Weird times.

Initially, I began publishing two blogs a day, seven days a week. One hopefully a funny one, and one a serious one each day. I wanted to get as many blogs online as quickly as possible. To get normalized in coming up with, seeing in daily life what to write about and writing these blogs as quickly and qualitatively as I could. 

To learn in a way, a journalist's life in finding, seeing what is interesting all about me, and writing and publishing quickly and qualitatively. It was a great experience and enhanced my longer-form writings.

Confidence grew, speed grew (though I've always been an incredibly fast writer and speed typist), and eventually, the quality grew. 

One day I was corresponding with a professional talent manager on LinkedIn and she suggested that I quit blogs and just write, write, write. But if I wanted to keep blogging, then I should cut down to once a week or once a month. I thanked her for her well-intended advice and considered it. 

I began a process of cutting back.

I cut back to one a day, but every day. Then five days a week, with a weekend blog. Then the weekend blog became merely a collection of interesting quotes that were actually popular. I can see that they still to this day trend from time to time. Then I stopped those. What I was calling, "Weekend Wise Words".You can see an example at that link. I would pick a theme and share interesting, educational, or funny quotes.

Finally, I got down to what is now my standard, single weekly Monday morning blog released at 4:20AM. And as my blog header says, also "elsewhen".

It's hard to believe that so much has changed since I began this blog. I blogged during the "Arab Spring", when I blogged a lot. I felt for the Egyptians and their desire for more freedom and information all of which I curated and disseminated. I was paid back for it with a lot of hits to my blog. I became one of a number of conduits of information for many Egyptians and those who were simply interested in what was happening there. 

That felt really good, much better than simply railing against abusers and bad government and people into the ether and with so little response. I shared thoughts on the arts and education, psychology and sociology, science, and fantasy.

I pounded down on terrorists (even long before I had a blog I did that since 9/11 and before) and against injustices and our government when they screwed up. Or I would praise them and others when they did very good things worth mentioning. I tried to give voice to others not as used to communicating to unknown others and publically and to offer them ways to argue against those who were wrong but always seemed to win arguments against what was good and best in life for people.

I have tried to share information and inform on interesting and progressive, and future-related topics. Science and fiction, horror and comedy, real and the unreal. It's been fun, stressful, even at times fear invoking.

But it's all been interesting and worth the time. My writing got better, my having to face others online, and deal with not bickering but decent debate and argumentation.

Ten years now. It's hard to believe. My kids now grown, one is 28, one is 31. I'm now 64 (65 in August) and I can't help but reflect on that famous Beatles song about "...when I'm 64". I saw the Beatles in 1967 with my sister, three years my senior. It was at the Seattle Coliseum and an amazing event, mind-blowing, at my age of thirteen.

Ten years now since 2010 when I was still working in IT at a four-state health insurance company. I retired from there after twenty years in September of 2016 so I could write and produce films from my old and new writings. To do the creative work I had long wanted to do and to work only for myself.

As I mentioned, I've started the annual Gorst Underground Film Festival with  Kelly Hughes and until this pandemic, our monthly local indie horror film night called, "Slash Night", at our local Bremerton, Washington Historic Roxy Theater where other local filmmakers have faithfully attended. Like the Darkow crew and the Laslos. And others...

Through all of that, I kept writing this blog, for better or for worse.

I have now written, shot, and produced a couple of short films. "The Rapping", which won a weekly film festival online and was a "festival selection" in the January 2019 Midnight Film Festival in New York.

My newest film, 'Gumdrop", a short horror, is a prequel based on my true crime short story published in 2012 titled, 'Gumdrop City". That film is going around film festivals through 2020 and as I said during a global pandemic. So, hard telling if that will damage it being seen, or appreciated. If it deserves any, that is.

Yes! Finally, I got into filmmaking and...the world stopped! Story of my life! But, at least it's all been interesting. 

I've finished working on the DVD for "Gumdrop". All the actors and crew have their copies. And a few others. I am also preparing my latest manuscript for publication as a sequel to my 2012 book of short stories which will be titled, "Anthology of Evil II". It is as I said above, full of my more recent short stories some unpublished, some published in magazines or anthologies with other authors and finishes of with a new unpublished novella just as the first book, "Anthology of Evil", had.

A Global Pandemic. Yes. I caught COVID-19 myself. At least I'm pretty damn sure it was, in still not being tested, regardless what some politicians have said. There still isn't one for anyone who wants one.. The experience was pretty horrible, but I got over it. I've been here at home since I first got sick on February 9th, 2020. 

Once I understood I was no longer contagious, I did attend our next Slash Night event for March, the first Saturday as usual. But that was the last one. I do not know if it will be the last one ever and we are now trying to plan our annual Gorst Festival. But will it happen? We have no idea. Time will tell.

I also helped Kelly on several Saturdays to shoot his now finished short film along with our local friends who show films at our events, the Darkows. It was difficult for me as I was easily winded and my lungs still hurt while healing up. But I pushed through it. I'm feeling much better now. No one else in that crew got sick and yes, I'm the oldest of them at 64. Kelly's in his 50s and the Darkows in their 30s.

All these things along with a pandemic, a highly problematic government administration, and my creative efforts which have all lent themselves as fodder for my blog. 

And for the future? I plan to continue with the blog. So much is changing it's really hard to tell what the future will bring us all.

But, I'm still here. I'm still going. And I wish you all...

Sláinte! And Very Good Health!

"I'm Smarter Than The Experts!" Really?

Regarding this current issue of Americans thinking: "I'm smarter than the experts"...(check out the article, it's pretty interesting and enlightening).

First of all, allow me this. For the record? I do NOT think I'm smarter than experts. Question, but verify. Not disagree and denigrate.

I grew up thinking I was stupid. My step-father didn't much like me. ADD helped with that belief in just making life more difficult. I read a lot in getting "grounded" at home a lot and so I actually knew a lot. When I shared those things, most others had no clue what I was talking about and so to them, and they weren't reticent in sharing it with me, they just assumed I must be... if not just weird, then stupid. 

I've written about all this before. I've shared my past like this from time to time for the most part, for those others who are going through the same kind of thing. All in an attempt to give them hope. I never thought I'd amount to much of anything or make a decent living and I've done quite well. I'm not rich. But I'm not poor either and I have worked with some brilliant minds in IT and in general. I've met very interesting people. I've raised two amazing kids to adulthood. I've had a very interesting life. How could I ask for more? So yea, there is hope. Always. 

For those considering suicide? Remember this. You can always just walk away from your life and let that be your suicide. But you'll always be there you go to. So seek help. Help yourself. Never day die. Never give up. I know, superficial view of depression and suicide. Some cannot be helped and will die. Others however, can be, and will survive, if they just keep these things in mind.

It wasn't until my third year of university in working closely with my psychology department professors, with my primary department advisor, Dr. Rees, that I was convinced I was not stupid, but quite the opposite. It's hard to counter a lifetime of belief, proven in poor k-12 grades and life being more difficult than others around you. 

But I was getting a degree in psychology. And these guys were the experts.

I learned three very important things, evolved through three very necessary stages in my college career.

The first was that I learned in college was, "Damn this is hard, but kind of fun in a painful sort of way." I could "feel" my brain (mind) at times, literally (seemingly) stretching. It was hard to find time to assimilate it all att as the pace in college is fast, at university it's light speed. In case you do not know already, colleges have masters level professors, while universities have doctorate level professors.

The second thing I learned and evolved through in college was, "Damn, I know a LOT now and I'm learning more all the time!" But I kept that quiet until my third year, at university. I got a two year degree, then transferred to Western Washington University, in beautiful Bellingham, Washington.

However, once my university professors saw that kind of behavior in me, which they were quite used to from undergrads I'm sure, they smooshed it right down and put me in my place. Usually, it just took talking to them at THEIR LEVEL, not MINE, and in doing so, realizing that compared to them, damn, was I ignorant! 

Two year colleges tend to do their best to build you up, to be able to handle being at a four or more year university. While universities realize they have to continue to build you up, but also keep you in your place to be as rational and realistic as possible. Although, some colleges one wonders about that latter part, such as with the "Ivy League" schools. It's easy to become full of oneself. 

One has achieved a lot by graduation. so enjoy it. But at tomse point, and as soon as possible, do come back down to earth. Yes?

Ever hear someone say, "I wish I was as smart as I thought I was at 16?" There is a reason for that.

Thus the third and most important thing I learned and evolved through at university. Something most armchair quarterbacks or those who just think they are smarter than the experts, may never have the opportunity to achieve as they do not have a structured course, or professors watching out for them. That being that the more I learned, the more I realized the less I knew that I knew. The semi educated know they know more than they knew, that they may know ore than many others in their group, or bubble. 

However, if you do not ever realize as you gain knowledge that the more you know, the less you know in the ever expanding envelope of the greater knowledge of he universe, then you are setting yourself up, and others around you, for a good deal of misery. 

Or appearing vapid and ignorant to those who truly are more aware of the all the universe has to offer one, overall. That is part and parcel of what we are seeing now in so many who think the Internet, is in some way an education. It is not. It's is an increasing of awareness, without form or structure in education.

My appraisal at that time at university was that for every single thing I learned, there were four or more things I didn't know. I felt I was becoming dumber and dumber, not smarter and not necessarily wiser. And indeed in the face of all experience and knowledge, so it is. Past experience, incorporated with current knowledge, can offer one some form of wisdom. But it is not the same as achieving knowledge and then applying it to current experience.

Along with that, however (luckily) went the appropriate feeling of my being humble, and in working with my professors, of being humbled again and again, before their vast knowledge and that of the universe at large. And of those others who were true experts. Those I should show respect to, 

All of who are what Kate Bush is referring to in her song, "Them Heavy People." Oh, don't know who Kate Bush is? You've missed the amazing and genius then, but...her videos and documentaries are still available. 

Those who were not only more knowledgeable, but more importantly, wiser, and that is very important, do deserve our respect and at times, our great respect. Knowledge and experience can become wisdom. CAN...become. Too often, they are not. Thus the importance of higher education in a structured form and Socratic and didactic methods with those far wiser than you.

Earth may now have the most knowledgeable people in human history, but we do not have the wisest people to be sure. And that is part of the great problem we are now faced with.

“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”

  Isaac Asimov
Delete or hide th

After I graduated university and went through the omnipresent and rather annoying graduate's period of "I know everything, let me share!" ....something not everyone "graduates" through and so remain an asshole the rest of their lives...I began to see in others less educated, a disrespect toward the educated and those far more knowledgeable. Even those far more educated than I would ever be.

And that truly puzzled me.

People I would feel honored to meet, to be among those types so much greater than myself in wisdom, while far too many seemed to feel bitterness or even anger toward them. Weird. Truly, really weird. Because being in their presence for a time can enhance who you are as a person and can alter your life going forward, making it easier, better, with more quality or even wealth. Which really in this context is the least of considerations. 

But surely, not to detract from it. I also always felt honored to share what I knew with others, and this is where some get caught up in thinking sharing, is about ego and it's not, and it shouldn't be. But a gift. Yet I was outwardly perplexed at how few were interested. Interesting in learning, in replacing lesser ideas with greater and more accurate ones. And for free. Without all the suffering and pain and effort I had to put into it all to finally achieve.

Seeing those wiser than oneself in a negative light merely puts one's own ignorance and ego on display for all those more knowledgeable than you. It can be seen like a beacon. When instead in seeking knowledge and sharing it, should make one appear brilliant both to oneself and to those less educated.

We have fallen down on this as a nation and a species. The Chinese in their "Cultural Revolution" for the People, actually murdered their elite thinkers, but luckily for them, only imprisoned some for many years. Some eventually brought back out when their communist nation remained their massive mistake. 

 All for feeling these educated people, doctors, scientists, historians, philosophers, were "elitist" (as opposed to being "elite" and an entirely different thing altogether), and not party of the common People. All which put China back by at least 50 years at the time. 

Just as America, in a way, in our own way, are doing to ourselves today. 

I suppose that is some of what annoys so many here and today. To feel looked down upon by those who consider themselves elitists. But too often that is a poor self esteem issue in oneself and hast utterly nothing to do with our elites whom we desperately need. IF you feel belittled in being ignorant, something I've always deemed as noble, everyone is after all, ignorant of something... then use the great inoculation against ignorance. Education. It's expensive? And why do you think that is the case? The ignorant are more easily manipulated and governed. 

Which America political party seems more against education, finding and supplying money to those institutions? Well, to be sure it is a complex subject. I did go to college in hope of better job prospects.

My older brother, after I got out of the USAF and had Vietnam Era VA benefits, seeing how down and out I was (I had lost my marriage, job, could not find a good job and that's why I went in part, into the Air Force, and I was floundering and on food stamps), tried to talk  me into college. He convinced me to think about it. 

When I graduated High School, K-12 as such a miserable academic experience, I swore to never go to school again. I took two weeks to think about it. I realized as much as I felt life, as much as it hurt emotionally at times, were I to become educated, I would find life even more in depth, I would understand everything better. I would feel greater pain in life. 

But I realized in the pro side of the pro/con list, I would also appreciate lief more, the quality of my life would be better. I would look at a picture, or film, or piece of music and have a greater appreciation of it. Or for human interaction. Or it would hurt more. 

In the end I decided the pros outweighed the cons and I started college. Never planing on more than a two year AA degree. But my girlfriend wanted a university degree. So I followed her. That was the catalyst. 

But then I was fully invested. My first college class toward an AA was Study Skills. I learned there is a way to learn in school. No one ever told me about that and so I suffered through K-12. None of us are taught that. But most of us make it through our "cookie cutter" 18th century style school systems Which has been changing to some degree of late. Having ADD just made it more difficult and yet, someone I graduated 12th grade. 

So in the end, I got a university degree. Something I'd never have though possible. Yet I did it. And others can do it. No, of course everyone doesn't need a college or university degree. Vocational schools are great things. It's really about what will make you happier, more fulfilled in life. It's not all about money! But we do have to make a living. We have to survive. But we don't have to be miserable all our lives, either. Sometimes only a little educate is all we need. For some of us we gleam that from living from day to day. But not all of us.

The important things is, remember that those who truly know more than us, should be listened to. Peer review is important. Picking out one "expert" because he agrees with you is foolish. Also ignoring the outlier can also be foolish. Confusing? Yes.

But that is why we need to educate and lean into knowledge, but ever more so...wisdom.

Yes there are indeed those who are bullies who lord it over others less educated, or poorer, or less advantaged. Many of those people however have psychological and personality issues have nothing whatsoever to do with wisdom. They give all others who are wise and would be helpful to us a bad name. 

Don't become sucked into that distraction. Too many of those bullies want you to hate all those smarter than you, merely so you will listen only to them. They can be hard to spot. But many times easy to see as those who claim they are the ONLY solution. ONLY they can save you. These are confidence hucksters, con men and women and do not trust them! Even though we have no elected on as President of the United States of America. But that too will pass. 

Still, that is no excuse for what we are seeing in America today.

Yet, there we are. Here...today.

In America.

The future is ours. It is yours. Make of it what you will

Just remember, you are not alone. What you do affects us all.

For better or for worse. 

Life Through A Seinfeld Filter

Just watching Seinfeld's latest standup on Netflix:

First off, how does this happen? I'm watching the show, eating lunch, finish lunch, pick up my laptop to share what he said, and as I type it, I completely forgot what the quote was!

W...T...F?

"..."?

But Jerry reminded me of a few things with my ex-wife. Yes, my most previous ex-wife as my friends and family know, I've had 3.5 of them... marriages, and thank you very much for that clarification.

"I dreamed what you did...."

I woke up one morning next to my very lovely wife as she woke up and looked over at me like...like she had never before seen me and had just woken up next to some stranger. It gave me a weird feeling.

I queried her and she responded that I had done something completely and utterly unacceptable...in her dream. I replied, knowing I was potentially in trouble here, that 1, I would 1 never do that thing, and 2, IT WAS A DREAM.

And it was YOUR dream, your mind. NOT my mind that came up with that.

She grinned, fighting back her feelings, knowing I was right, and even said so and that she just needed to work it out in her head.

Which took most of the day. And yes. it an interesting day. Not one of my favorite days.

"Tone of your voice...."

We sometimes had arguments at times over one thing or another, that began as discussions, moved into argumentation, and rapidly devolved into bickering and confusion (one my part) and irritation (on her part). And she would wind me up pretty good. And apparently, I was winding her up. But that was most definitely not my intention. 

Until finally, usually, in my trying to pull things back to calmness and reality we would attain some degree of rationality And no this ia not all just me trying to look good here. That's actually what would happen.

For some of these, I actually have witnesses. AND, her family already knew all about this of course, and actually tried to warn me about her when we were first dating, which...was weird. They would laugh about it and tease so I wasn't sure if they were serious. But they would always, en masse, make it clear, they were serious. But they were still laughing. And I know now, why that was.

Usually, once I got us back to an even footing she would then take the lead and attempt to maintain her lead,. But sometimes, I would hear her final justification for her irritation being that it was... the tone of my voice. That I didn't sound like I believed what I was saying.

What? At first, when this happened, it left me very confused. What did the tone of my voice have to do with anything? My words carried the content of what I was being honest about. My word is my bond as they say. As I've said. If I said it, I was being honest about it. I hate lying. I always tell the truth.

But that's another story. You have to be smarter to always tell the truth, learning to handle sharing reality with diplomacy, compassion. Or at times, simple avoidance. If not outright refusing to say something rather than lie. But too many prefer a lie. Because it's just easier. And faster. 

Whenever this was about child-rearing between us, it was beyond my being able to let it go or cave to her demands,  and I would dig in. If it was just about me I could maybe let something go. But I was (we were, we ARE) responsible for our kids and so you can't let it go when you're fighting for another's rights or fair treatment. The issue there?

A combined front against the kids, even if one of us were wrong (I hated that). And what's this "against" our kids? 'You can't be your kid's friend and a good parent." Nonsense. You just have to have the fortitude to stand your ground when needed and remind the kids, "I'm still your parent." It always worked for me, as it did with teams of adults I led. "I AM your friend, but I'm ALSO your boss." What's so difficult about that? 

I can remember one time that exemplifies what frequently happened. It wasn't about the kids that time. But she had wound me up pretty good and I finally agreed to disagree and do what she wanted. In my trying NOT to wind HER up, she had won. Essentially. But she was still irritated and I asked why? She said:

"It's the tone of your voice. I don't think you believe what you're saying, or that you'll do it (or sometimes... 'do it as well as you would if you believed it')."

Which always annoyed me because I have always seen myself as a professional and like it or not, I'll always do the best I can regardless. Or I won't do it at all or agree to do it. Because once I'm done with whatever it is, it represents me and who I am after I am part with that person, task or item. 

I replied that she had gotten me to agree to do something that I did not want to do and did not believe in at all. But she won. I caved. I agreed to do it. And I will do it, and do the best job I can of it. As always.

I then asked her if she thought she was the Mind Police or something, because that definitely IS being unreasonable. You can win the argument, but you cannot make me believe something I fully do not believe in. That's unfair. It's wrong. It's... bizarre. It's mind control. I think it's why I don't like Donald Trump so much. His personality seems very familiar to me in some small ways.

So what was it exactly that she wanted of me, then?

That stumped her. In the end, she agreed, still somewhat frustrated, to settle with mere winning and my agreeing to do it. I then did what I agreed to. She liked the job I did. And that was the end of it. For the time...

One thing I can say, that was many years of an interesting living situation.

Now I'm single (stop laughing!). No stress in any life relationship or in my household whatsoever. Since my German Shepherd of fifteen years died in 2016, I don't even have a pet anymore to have to worry about. Yes, I sometimes miss someone around the house. And yes, it's nice having a life partner. But now I can take off at a moment's notice, come back home days later without notifying or scheduling or anything, and all is good and peaceful in my life. 

Sure, I do at times miss living with a best friend, a life partner, lover, pet whathaveyou. 

But there's definitely an upside to it all.

And part of that right now is that I just remembered what I was going to quote Jerry on that started me down this list of past bizarre situations in living arrangements.

Bucket lists. 

Jerry had said:

"I made a buck list. I changed the "B" to an "F" and I was done with that too. I just want you to all have that option. You can either check off all your items or change one letter at the top and you're in a lazyboy watching a ballgame."

Now that's funny. And cathartic. And useful. Or not. You're choice.

We're not living together. So I'm not trying to tell you what to believe.

Or to have to bend to your bizarre mental gymnastics. 

Thanks, Jerry. I'll keep that all in mind.