Monday, December 5, 2011

Angels?

Although I've made no secret of my Buddhist orientation at this point in my life, I was raised Catholic. I've always been fascinated by Angels. In my own way. I love the films with Christopher Walken, "The Prophesy". Angels as badasses. Powerful, scary, but righteous in being dedicated to what is right, or what they think God wants. The Christian mythology is fun. Vampires who are afraid of a Crucifix, where Holy Water affects them and protects the poor Mortals.

I'm writing a novel where there is a character that has a relationship with an Angel. So I had to do some research. There is a thriving industry of commerce, in the world, on the internet. People claiming to speak for the Angels, selling online and in books and video, aspects of myth and information filling that void some people have in their lives for some connection to their Supreme Being, their God. Some even worship the Angels, but why you would want to worship anything other than the top dog, sorry, Top God, is beyond me.


Demons and Angels even come from the same beginning. The words for Demon and Angel have similar origins, and one can assume many of the demons mentioned were originally Angels Fallen Angels. And that is a consideration fascinating enough in itself and has been the focus of many interesting tales. What is an Angel's morality? Are they above it? Aside from it?

Here is what I found. There are many ways to interpret the literature, and so, this is my interpretation of what I found.
"ASSUMPTION of the VIRGIN" by Francesco Botticini showing the choirs of angels in the three Spheres.
There are three levels of Angels. The Top Choir, is the highest rank of Angels. They attend to God directly. They are his Holy Servants. Ezekial talks about Cherubin carrying God and his chariot. They were the defenders of God. Cherubin stand outside the Garden of Eden so Adam and Eve can't get back in. A Cherub is not a cute baby with wings, that thought came up in the Renaissance, they are not somebody to meet on a dark lane, as they could turn rather nasty. Don't screw with a Cherubin. This top tier includes the Seraphim, Cherubin, and Thrones.

Saraphim are always depicted in red, symbolizing Devine Love; Cherubin are always depicted in blue, representing Wisdom. According to Christy Kenneally, host of the Smithsonian Channel show, "Decoding Christianity": "Cherubs as cute babies are a Baroque and Renaissance fabrication. Angels didn't have wings in the beginning, because of possible confusion with the ancient Gods, like Mercury who also had wings. Artists had gotten things pretty close to correct up till then, when they kind of went off the deep end.


Once Humans started to become "enlightened" they lost their inner eye for that of science and began to lose their connection for that of speculation. There are no such thing as baby Angels. Cherubs were then reduced to the lowest level of the Angelic ladder. But they are one of the three most powerful and fearsome of all Angels."

The Second Choir are those in charge of the Universe. The Overseers of Nature and Fate and are: The Dominions, the Powers, and the Virtues.

The Third Choir are the Human intermediaries who deal with us mere mortals. They are our first and initial connection to God, going first through them, then through the rest of the hierarchy. These include: The Principalities, the Archangels, and the Angels.

By Gustave Doré - Alighieri, Dante; Cary, Henry Francis (ed) (1892) "Canto XXXI" in The Divine Comedy by Dante, Illustrated, Complete, London, Paris & Melbourne: Cassell & Company Retrieved on 13 July 2009., Public Domain
St. Thomas Aquinas wrote a book on Angels because there were so many questions during his lifetime about them. Do they eat, do they procreate, do they wear clothing? Do they have gender?


Rafael will blow the trumpet that heralds judgment day and of the end of the World to Muslims. To Jews and Christians, he is the Angel of Healing.


Gabriel is God's Messenger. To Jews he destroyed the city of Sodom. In Islam he brings the Koran to Mohammad.


Michael, is the most powerful Angel of all. To Jews he is the guardian Angel of Israel. In Islam he brought thunder and lightning to earth. In Christianity, he flung Satan and his army of rebel Angels into Hell.

Angels appear to a person as their greatest embodiment of their expectations, therefore, in the past they were always male angels, but now people are not so entrenched in a patriarchal society and angels can appear as male or female, but always as the greatest beauty in expectation of that individual's beliefs.

Michael's name means "he who is most like God". When Lucifer said, "I am like unto God." Michael merely responds with his own name, saying: "Michael (Who is like God?)." And at that moment, the war between the Angels begins. It is a spiritual warfare, a spiritual struggle.

Lucifer is then cast into Hell and named Satan. He is depicted as the Dragon, the beast. But Satan has a history that comes to us from preChristian origins. He gets his horns, his cloven hooves and some of his character from Pan. Pan the bisexual. For Christians, Satan represents the evil of paganism. In defeating a Pan-like Satan, Michael can also be seen as defeating the old Gods.

Michael, had a pagan ancestor too, the Roman God, Mercury. Monuments and churches dedicated to the Archangel Michael were almost always built on high places, and almost always on the ruins of the of temples dedicated to the God Mercury. Like Mercury, Michael always watched over commerce, communication and has healing powers.

In the 6th century, there was a plague. Pope Gregory prayed for help and there was a vision of Michael at what is now, Castle St. Angelo, on a site that was once a temple to Mercury. It was then that they began to call him "Saint Michael", or "Sant Angelo" ("Sainted Angel"). It seems to me an odd concept to Saint an Angel.

It was in the 5th Century, that St. Jerome expressed the concept of each and every person alive having their own "Guardian Angel" when he said: "how great the dignity of the soul, since each one has from his birth an angel commissioned to guard it." (Comm. in Matt., xviii, lib. II).

I personally see that as somewhat limiting in an Angel's scope and power, but hey, it makes people feel better. The concept of intermediaries between we poor mortals and the Supreme Being, kind of makes sense. But one has to consider whether these are separate entities or simply minor manifestations of that Supreme Being.


When you consider according to Christian doctrine that God split himself in two, or three, being that also of Jesus and the Holy Spirit, or Holy Ghost, why couldn't this "Supreme" Being split up in millions of ways? Even unto condensing elements into individual mortals such as we are?

It's an interesting consideration. Not only this, but all of the Angel concept. And it makes for great storytelling. Which I will soon be adding to, once I have completed this new novel. I can only hope that the fun in reading it will come through from the fun I'm having in writing it.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Weekend Wise Words

Be Smart! Be Brilliant!

I watched a film this week from 1962. A friend suggested it and was surprised, with my history and catalog of cinema, that I had never seen or heard of it. I was surprised, too. It is a French film called, "La Jetée", from director Chris Marker. I found it is interesting, fascinating, powerful. Film as a set of stills. Obviously a precursor decades later to Terry Gilliam's, "12 Monkeys". A very good film, different, but powerful. That got me to thinking about film directors I have admired for their art over the years. So, I thought some quotes from some of those directors, in no specific order, who thrilled and amazed me through my life, would be in order for this Weekend's Wise Words. Cheers!

I betrayed Gutenberg for McLuhan long ago.
Chris Marker

An art form requires genius. People of genius are always troublemakers, meaning they start from scracth, demolish accepted norms, and rebuild a new world.
Henri Langlois
[Although not himself a director, Langlois was a French film archivist and cinephile. He was a pioneer of film preservation when no one really considered it, and an influential figure in the history of cinema. The development of the auteur theory could comfortably be laid at his doorstep as a natural outgrowth from his film screenings in Paris in the1950s.]


I was the perfect guy to do Harry Potter. I remember leaving the meeting, getting in my car, and driving for about two hours along Mulholland Drive just so angry. I mean, Chris Columbus' versions are terrible. Just dull. Pedestrian.
Terry Gilliam

Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.
Alfred Hitchcock

To me there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
Woody Allen

Imagination is a force that can actually manifest a reality. ... Don’t put limitations on yourself. Other people will do that for you. Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t bet against yourself. And take risk. NASA has this phrase that they like, "Failure is not an option." But failure has to be an option. In art and exploration, failure has to be an option. Because it is a leap of faith. And no important endeavour that required innovation was done without risk. You have to be willing to take those risks. … In whatever you are doing, failure is an option. But fear is not.
James Cameron

You sit at the board and suddenly your heart leaps. Your hand trembles to pick up the piece and move it. But what chess teaches you is that you must sit there calmly and think about whether it’s really a good idea and whether there are other, better ideas.
Stanley Kubrick

Un fatto di sangue nel comune di Siculiana fra due uomini per causa di una vedova. Si sospettano moventi politici. Amore-Morte-Shimmy. Lugano belle. Tarantelle. Tarallucci e vino
Lina Wertmüller

I write scripts to serve as skeletons awaiting the flesh and sinew of images.
Ingmar Bergman

To me style is just the outside of content, and content the inside of style, like the outside and the inside of the human body. Both go together, they can't be separated.
Jean Luc Goddard

What scares me is what scares you. We're all afraid of the same things. That's why horror is such a powerful genre. All you have to do is ask yourself what frightens you and you'll know what frightens me. [For myself, I find it is hard to frighten me; so when I write something that frightens me....]
John Carpenter

I think that the appeal of real art is to the unconscious and the subversive. Art is always subversive of society. I think that's one of its functions. The relationship between art and society is always uneasy. If civilization and authority are repressive, then art, by appealing to the unconscious, is subversive of civilization. And yet art needs society. You don't create art in a vacuum. And civilization seems to need art somehow as well. They need to go together. It's a strange duality. I think I do my best subversiveness by not worrying about whether I'm subversive or not.
David Cronenberg

All the movies are about strange worlds that you can't go into unless you build them and film them. That's what's so important about film to me. I just like going into strange worlds.
David Lynch

I don't want to imitate life in movies; I want to represent it. And in that representation, you use the colors you feel, and sometimes they are fake colors. But always it's to show one emotion.
Pedro Amodovar

The present and the past coexist, but the past shouldn't be in flashback.
Alain Resnais

I rather like mysteries. But I do dislike muddles.
Sir David Lean

The cinema is an invention without a future.
Louis Lumiere

We're suffering from saturation, overkill. The market place is flooded by demand, and there are too many films, so everything gets watered down. Demand is the boss and everything bends to that will. Bigger and not necessarily better shows seem to be the order of the day. I can't watch most of them.
Ridley Scott

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful.
Francois Truffaut

Very often, footage that you have shot develops its own dynamic, it's own life, that is totally unexpected, and moves away from you're original intentions. And you have to acknowledge, yes, there is a child growing and developing and moving in a direction that isn't expected-accept it as it is and let it develop its own life.
Werner Herzog

With a good script, a good director can produce a masterpiece. With the same script, a mediocre director can produce a passable film. But with a bad script even a good director can't possibly make a good film. For truly cinematic expression, the camera and the microphone must be able to cross both fire and water. The script must be something that has the power to do this
Akira Kurosawa

Juxtaposing a person with an environment that is boundless, collating him with a countless number of people passing by close to him and far away, relating a person to the whole world, that is the meaning of cinema.
Andrei Tarkovsky

Now why should the cinema follow the forms of theater and painting rather than the methodology of language, which allows wholly new concepts of ideas to arise from the combination of two concrete denotations of two concrete objects?
Sergei M. Eisenstein

There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the passion of life.
Federico Fellini

All my life I've been harassed by questions: Why is something this way and not another? How do you account for that? This rage to understand, to fill in the blanks, only makes life more banal. If we could only find the courage to leave our destiny to chance, to accept the fundamental mystery of our lives, then we might be closer to the sort of happiness that comes with innocence.
Luis Buñuel

Friday, December 2, 2011

Institutionalized - Teen Angst


"Institutionalized" (1983), by Suicidal Tendencies is one of my favorite teen angst songs of all time.

I have the soundtrack to the Mike Nesmith (from the Monkees) Executive Produced, and Alan Cox written and directed film, "Repo Man" from 1984. So I've been hearing it from time to time all these years since it came out.

I've been a fan of Mike since he was on "The Monkees" TV show in the 60s. Oddly enough, what locked me in as a fan of his, was him quitting the Monkees and their trying to continue on without him. I even wore a green stocking cap in High School because he always wore one. Mike went on to head Pacific Arts records until they went out of business.

Mike worked on Other films by the way that I liked are, "Tapeheads" (with Tim Robbins and John Cusak, both favorite actors of mine since their start, especially, John, and his sister for that matter), and "Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann". Pacific Arts video was a leader in home video and I still have Nesmith's quite entertaining Elephant Parts (which won the first grammy for music video in 1981) and Television Parts videos.

You might ask, why am I talking about Nesmith in the same space as Suicidal Tendencies. No reason really, I just thought it might be fun to put the two together. Besides, their paths did cross you know and how many people really know that?


Getting back to the lyrics of Suicidal Tendencies' "Institutionalized", here are the relevant ones to my liking it so much:

"I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up
a chair and they sat down, they go:
Hey Mike, we need to talk to you
And I go:
Okay what's the matter
They go:
Me and your mom have been noticing lately that you've been having a lot of problems, you've been going off for no reason and we're afraid you're gonna hurt somebody, we're afraid you're gonna hurt yourself.
So we decided that it would be in your interest if we put you somewhere where you could get the help that you need.
And I go:
Wait, what do you mean, what are you talking about, we decided!? My best interest?! How can you know what's my best interest is? How can you say what my best interest is? What are you trying to say, I'm crazy? When I went to your schools, I went to your churches, I went to your institutional learning"

You kind of have to hear how that is played out to really get it. But, Hell yeah, I say! If you don't like how I turned out, parents, well? Who raised me? I mean what are you saying? That, this is all my fault?

That's a good point and one I've wanted to speak to for some time, so I might as well do it here.

So, what IS the point?

Especially, this is about parents with a kid who is hard to deal with, difficult to raise, problematic to interact with, or whatever... along that line. Now granted, some people are just bad, but really, I think they are few and far between. Still, you have to ask yourself if you have a child like this: "why are they like this?"

Parents tend to want to say, "Oh, I don't know, he's just difficult." Or, "She is such a pain, I don't know how she got to be that way; her siblings aren't like that, so that abdicates us from any responsibility in her problems." Right?

Okay. Sure. You can take that tact. Uh huh, go ahead, wash your hands of any responsibility there. That's probably not the case though. You do realize that, don't you? You probably had a lot to do with how they got that way. Sure, there is always an exception to the rule, or at least saying that, let's me get on with my argument without too much distraction.

But you do have to consider that if your kid isn't working out so well, not growing up with the ideal you had in your mind of how good you'd be at raising a kid, or how you "hoped" they'd grow up, maybe that is part of the problem. After all, by observing the experiment, you alter the experiment and affect the results.

We raise kids to be adults. At least, that's our job. But so many parents raise kids to fit a form, not to grow into being the person they are going to grow into being. And that is a big difference. And a good way to end up in trouble. On both sides.

Sure you should try to raise them well. Do the best you can. But there are things you can do to avoid their being such a problem, both to themselves and to you.

Like giving them enough, Love, trust, time, attention, and explanations. And decreasing the amount they can get of distrust, annoyance, putting them down, expecting too much, not expecting enough. And forcing them too much into what you want out of them, be it in the way of education, religion (especially, and that is a nasty one), sociability, and inclinations (be it social, sexual, musical, academic, entertainment, whatever).


Here's the thing... basically, do the best job you can as a parent. Love your kid, unconditionally. That doesn't mean you don't lay down the rules, but expect them to get broken. That shows spirit. Americans, have spirit. But if you want to break them, I don't know, you're a commie? I mean, breaking a person's spirit is kind of anti American. But don't break or try to break your kid's spirit. That way of thinking put us here to begin with. Guide your child, don't control them. Control, by not controlling. But that doesn't mean don't parent. People get that confused.

You hear about the "touchy feely" way of parenting. That came to be because people started to realize that the old way didn't work, so they thought an absence of that behavior fixed things. But it didn't, it made things worse. Then parents got upset because kids didn't turn out how they expecated and wanted. What they didn't realize was that they had to rework things, not give up on them.
Geez, people, it's not that difficult. Just don't take the easy way out all the time. Sometimes, sure. I mean, it's easier to say, "shut up, do it because I said so," but that will come back to haunt you if you do it even one time more than you should have.
Help your kid. Don't "manage" them. You "manage" someone at work, or in prison, but you don't have to love them, or live with them, or have them ignore you when you are 90 and can't get around.

There's a line in The Breakfast Club, where the Detention Teacher Vernon, tells the Janitor, Carl:

Vernon: You think about this, when you get old, these kids, when I get old, they're going to be running the country.
Carl: Yeah.
Vernon: Now this is the thoght that wakes me up in the middle of the night. That when I get older, these kids are going to take care of me.
Carl: I wouldn't count on it.

That's something to think about. Yes, you have to raise your kids, make the tough decisions, they're not always going to be happy with you, but they should always love you, and you should always be sure that they know, that you love them. And just saying it, isn't enough; just expecting that they should just know it, isn't enough.

There are a few other songs that I think made me a better parent. One is "Cat's in the Cradle", by Harry Chapin. I love how Harry starts this song by saying: "It's about my boy Josh and frankly, it scares me to death." Yeah, I can relate, I've felt that feeling every time I heard that song and it chokes me up. Partly because I was the son in that song to my father and my step-father.

It tells the story of a typical dad who works hard to make a life for his family and year after year, necessarily ignores his son. After the years pass, the kid grows up, moves away and has his own family. Now dad calls and wants his son's attention and what does the kid tell him on the phone? "I'm busy, and I have to go now, but hey, nice talking to you, Dad." What a horrible moment that would be if you were the Dad. That realization that the kid grew up just like me, and now I'm the one suffering.

Sometimes, it's just that simple, we reap what we sow.

So remember, you aren't here just to put up with your kids. You're here to raise good people, good adults, good citizens of this country, of this world, and yes, think ahea... of this universe.

So if you find that your kids are screwing up and you think it's their fault? Take another look.

Yeah, I love that song....

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Fear of Writer's Block

I'm a writer. I know a lot of writers. I know professional writers, amateur writers, people who dream of being writers and never will, and people who dream of it and are far better than I, but who just can't seem to make it as a professional. In that last case, I saw a comedian on TV recently who said that there are plenty of people out there funnier than he is, but he's the one making a living at it. It takes a special understanding and perserverance to make it as a professional.


Yes, it takes focus and enduring harsh trials but it also takes a wide variety of things aside from the task you want to do. We would all like to just do whatever our passion is. But it takes a capability far beyond that to make it in the real world. Unless you are extremely lucky. I spent much of my life being protected by others who really appreciated what I could do. But that was the computer world. Once I try to break into writing, it's a whole other bucket of fish.

It would seem that the Art world, protects itself with vast abandon toward care and concern, all in order to keep as many away as possible. Why is obvious. If anyone could do it, everyone would do it. Well, not exactly. I mean, some people couldn't care less about the Art world in general. I think this is more true of traditional artists, especially with multimedia types. But we have this in the writing world too. Especially now a days. Every one seems to think they can be a writer. Because we are all taught to write in grade school.

But to turn out a good story, a good article, a book, a screenplay, a poem, takes more than just your basics. To do it right, to do it well. And not everyone can do that. But of those who can, or who are trying very hard to, there is one killer thing they all seem to fear.


Writer's Block-k-k-k-k...(yes, that's supposed to be an echo)...(yes, it's still echoing)....

Mostly this seems to be of concern to new writers, those who haven't been at it that long. Then there is the first time novelist (or poet, or screenwriter, etc.). Especially if they get rave reviews. Then have to do it again. Now, THAT is a block I can wrap my pencil lead encrusted fingers around.

But even they, need to lighten up. That is usually just a lot of pressure people put on them. Agents, Publishers, family, even fellow writers who should know better. This isn't an unusual fear. In fact, David Duchovney is making a good living at it on his show Californication where he plays a writer who wrote one cricially acclaimed book and then froze up, for five years. And so he does anything he can to avoid it through several seasons, sleeping around, drinking, drugging, any adolescent behavior he can come up with to avoid his responsibilities. And his next novel.

But I have a suspecion, as do many of my writer friends, professional writer friends, writers who have been writing for a long time, that Writer's Block, is a figment of your imagination. And, a misperception. Allow me to elucidate....


The first time I jumped out of an airplane, the first time, I repelled down a cliff face, the first time I raced a car along a mountain highway, I was scared. I feared the unknown. I feared, the known.

What if, I can't let go of the plane? What if I do let go? What if my chute doesn't open? What if on the way down that cliff face, my rope breaks, I let go, someone else above lets go? What if I drive off that mountain highway, or lose control and spin out of control and zip, fly over the edge, or into the cliff side?

In jumping out of a plane, it's pretty easy to explain. You are scared. That is sane, that is nature. But there is more going on there. There is not just a mental, emotional component, there is a physical one. And that is partly to blame for much of our woes in life. You can out think yourself, you can out emote yourself, but when your heart is pounding a thousand beats an hour, it's hard to think straight.


But not for the reason you might thing, that's actually kind of slow and you're probably lacking enough oxygen to think straight. If you figure 80 beats a minute and 60 to 100 a minute is normal, that is about 4800 an hour. Still, if you're heart is beating way over normal for you, it is hard to think straight (now we're on the other side). But I digress.

When your heart beats too fast, you get adrenalin coursing through your system, that fight or flight condition starts up, it is hard to think straight, it is hard to have control. And that is frequently misperceived as fear.

So when you are going to jump out of a plane and your mind tells you don't do it, this is stupid, and your emotions tell you the same thing, that's rational and good. Just tell those two worriers that you have calculated the risk and it's reasonable and along with the training you've received, you have excellent odds of returning to do it again and have fun. But if you're body is screaming at you to stop, you have to recognize what is going on.

Fundementally, your adrenalin has kicked in and you are mixing your emotions with your mind and your body is supporting that insanity. You have to compartmentalize at that point. See what is mind, see what is emotion, and most importantly, see what is body. Separate them in your mind and realize that this is not fear, nor is it terror, it only feels like it. It is, exhileration. It is an unusual phenomenon now a days, unless you are in a very out of the ordinary  situation. Being mugged, in a car accident, near a terrorist attack?


If you can separate those three things, you can move forward and do some amazing things. As you climb up forward in the plane, near the open door (if it even has one), and it's hard to hear with the rushing in of the wind and engine noise, you look down and see thousands of feet of, nothing... just breath deeply, calm yourself, separate those three elements and put each in its proper place.

Then go ahead, jump. Now you fall, whoosh! Droppinggggggg.... swimming, maybe trying to get back to the hand hold on the plane, which is not a block away because it's going like a hundred or so. Now the rest is easy, you fall. And there is some other stuff that happens. And if you have an easy landing, under say twenty miles an hour, you may go do it again.

Getting back to writing.

When you think about writing, you have to deal mostly with your mind, your thoughts about what you have to do, and your emotions, your feelings about what you have to do, and your expectations, a blend of those two. If you have pressure on you, if you have over stressed yourself about doing it, or if you have agents or publishers, family or friends, weighing on your head, it can give you an anxiety attack in the worst case. But all you have yot do is, write.


So write.

Thinking about it, whateer it is, sky diving, cliff climbing, writing, producing works you know whill be judged and rejected possibly, can really stress you out. But you can't let it get the better of you.

Okay?

If you feel you can't write, just write, something. Make an outline. Do the easy stuff, get into the swing of things. Prime the pump. Then when you feel into it, jump into the harder stuff, the creative stuff, whatever works for you. For myself I find that literally "tricking" myself into doing what I need to do works very well. Or rewarding myself. If I want to do something pleasant, rather than just do it, I'll hold off and tell myself that I can have it once I finish writing this chapter, or page, or whatever.


I used to do that when I was working on my yard even. I'd crack a beer, and put it ten feet away in the hot sun. Then I had to get ten feet of sidewalk trimmed (I was using a hand tool, I didn't have a fancy stand up and roll it along tool). Gauge your time by your reward and vice versa, whatever works for you. No dinner until you finish this paragraph. Whatever. What is important is you find something that helps you move along.

But writer's block? I don't, and most writers I know don't, accept that it even exists. I know that this way of thinking alone, can stress some people out. But I many of my friends agree with me that writer's block is just a misperception. It's not a block. It's something, and you're not writing, but don't even look at it as a block to your productivity.

I find that 100% of the time it is either that I am doing something wrong, or I don't have the resources I need to continue, or I need a break. I find that last one to be prevelant a lot. I wrote for ten hours on a novel this last Sunday. I had Monday off and after writing that day for six hours, I "hit a wall". I just sat there and couldn't go on.
So I asked myself why, what is keeping me from continuing? And what I found was that I had written a lot yesterday and today and I had just come to the end of the novel. That is a good time to take a break. I still needed to make several passes over the 500 pages of the novel, and I still needed to write the ending, and tie up all the loose ends, which was primary in my inability to continue.

I was tired. I needed a lot of energy to tackle that next stage and I needed time to think about how to go about it and what I wanted to do with it. But it wasn't writer's block. It was me, telling me, I needed to take a break, get some rest, get away from writing for a little while and then come back at it refreshed and energized to tackle some difficult writing. And that's okay. I could come back later in the day, that night, or the next day. I don't have a time table on this project so that's not a consideration.

And when you are on a schedule, then you are dealing with something like test anxiety, only it's deadline anxiety. But again, it's not writer's block. If you can sit and write, you  don't have writer's block. I could have continued, but I found I really did't want to, it was as simple as that. There was no block, I just wanted to be doing something else for a while, replenish my jets.
To be a good writer, or anything for that matter, you need variety. If you do anything too much, you will burn out. And then you need to refuel, reenergize. Pure and simple. So, give yourself a break. Reward yourself at that point, you've earned it.

And if you haven't done anything, well do something. If you truly have writer's block, then you should consider, maybe you don't really want to be a writer. It sounds very romantic, or to some, glamorous, but that is only after hundreds or thousands of hours of hard, lonely, isolated periods of work. Some of it redundant and unrewarding, until you get the credit, kudos, money, attention and such that you are seeking.

So fear not writer's block, because really, for truly, it is just your friend, trying to tell you, you need a break. Listen to it, make it work for you, and never let it get the upper hand. Because there is no reason for it to have that.

Just remember that you and only you, always have that upper hand. And when you can see that, applaud yourself, because you have gotten a lot further than many, many other people out there who are trying and simply may never make it. Simply because they misperceive themselves.