Walkabout Thoughts #64

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…August 24, 2023, Thursday

Weather for the day… 59° starting out, 71° when I got home overcast

Podcast Pod Save the World about Prigozhin

So the Republican “debate” last night, and Putin’s murder of one of his top Wagner guys like Prigozhin and his inner circle yesterday, forces me out of entertainment mode and back into this bullshit.… so here I go…

It is interesting to note about the Prigozhin assassination, and his inner circle, can't forget them, and the emotion of their friendly Russian general who had known about the military action toward Moscow recently, while Putin was at a World War II Memorial concert (where's the Ukrainian drones guys?) about the Russians fighting the Nazis. Which couldn’t be a more patriotic event for Putin to be at while he’s cleaning house. So while I’m saying this could be an accident or whatever, it seems to be a very well orchestrated, high-level militaristic type statement. By Putin. 

We need to remind Russia of what Prigozhin  said that the stated purpose of this war as being... bullshit.

I don’t think I ever mentioned about my son's girlfriend, who for the past year's been going through serious medical problems. I may have mentioned it briefly at some point in the past. But she’s had like 12 surgeries and the doctors have been consistently perplexed. There’s been multiple doctors and several hospitals involved. And they kept saying she could go home at a certain time and the next thing you know she’s in another surgery and the last four months have been intense. I would think it looks like a potential high value lawsuit for what, in confidence? It’s been a Russian novel tragedy except, luckily, happily, she is somehow still alive. We’re hoping they have fixed everything by now. I was telling him he should’ve been writing a journal to write a book or a movie about all this because I’ve never heard anything like this in all my life. We went through something bad with my younger brother back in the 70s where they thought he had one thing or another. Then leukemia and finally they settled on liver cancer. Which he finally died of two weeks before his 15th birthday in 1975. I did note that if his girlfriend today had been ethnic, black or Mexican or minority in America, she may well be dead months ago from what we’ve seen in the statistics for healthcare in America. Not to mention how poor our national record is regarding childbirth. Overall. And what the hell is that all about? Greatest technical medical care but some pretty bad health insurance and access. Let's not even get into mental health, which a specific conservative base seems to be suffering badly from.

I do believe we need unions. I do think they can be problems at times. I do think we need national healthcare. I do know the argument that America has such advanced medical procedures, but would argue not such great health care in many ways. I would take a step down from being a medical leader, if we could get everyone healthcare, yet stop having such poor statistics in certain areas in our healthcare.

Here’s the thing, the Republican bullshit, the autocratic nonsense... you establish a government to protect the people. When you decide to become the party of big business as the Republicans have, you’re blindsiding yourself about your citizens. And this nonsense about take care of the businesses and the money will trickle down to the citizens, is bullshit as we’ve seen proven time and time again. Enough magical thinking about economy. I get that we can’t just take care of people and ignore business, but we really truly need to re-balance.

How is it that Ukraine are a bunch of Nazis and so Russia attacks them... when Russia uses the Wagner group, named after the composer who was Hitler’s favorite composer, and their functional general commanding the troops in Ukraine has Nazi tattoos and signs his name with a double lightning bolt? The insignia of the Nazi SS? It’s kinda like listening to Trump talk in America where he starts saying things about how bad the Democrats are about bad things they do, when it’s all the exact shit that Trump’s been doing. The similarities and parallels between the Republican Party and Russia are now too stark anymore to ignore.

As Putin tries to absorb the Wagner group into the Russian military are we going to see Wagner guys in Belarus cross the border to Poland? Will they abandon Putin as Russia should have 10 or 15 years ago?

This is a good point about Wagner forces coming to the rescue of those who have recently executed a coup in Africa. What are they thinking? And how is that coup going to play out without their support? That being said, we really need to stop this imperialist, authoritarian bullshit that’s infecting and creeping like mold throughout the world.

So I’ve been trying to learn to use things like Siri on my iPhone 11. I think I’ve gotten good at Alexa now, so when I’m out and about I’ve been trying to use my iPhone for what its capabilities are. So here I am walking, doing my 5 miles, and I asked Siri a question. The stupid thing says, "Here check this out." Like I can read it when I want to hear it, like I do with Alexa most of the time. It’s really annoying.

I’m just wondering about Wagner group's leader, the late Prigozhin, and if he has adult children, who might take over his wealth. I wouldn’t be interested if they were to undermine Putin for murdering their dad? Did you know he once wrote a children's book? It takes place in a land of tiny people. Hmm, Gulliver's Travel's any?

Let’s be clear that Putin loves to associate himself with Russian heroes, who fought off the German Nazis in World War II. Yet he has brought under his wing Russian neo-Nazis like the Wagner group to fight against his made up stories of Ukraine, saying how they are a neo-Nazi country. Because some exist there, as they do here and certainly in RUSSIA. Ukraine has a Neo Nazi issue not as bad as Russia, or America. We both have more. And if you think otherwise, there’s your Russian propaganda. Sadly so similar to Republican propaganda.

One Ukrainian advisor linked in social media to the song Highway to Hell.

Seems interesting to me that with this attack against the Wagner group, having taken out their leadership, and demoting their friendly top Russian general, suddenly we hear reports of decent advances against Russian forces by Ukraine.

There’s an old saying about the oval office that presidents are forged on the anvil of the oval office. Or something like that. 

1. "The presidency acts as a crucible of leadership, where the heat of responsibility shapes the character of those who hold the office." [Trump has no character, or just bad character]

2. "The Oval Office is where leaders are both tested and tempered, revealing their true mettle." [And we've seen Trump's, unworthy of either the title or office]

3. "In the crucible of the presidency, leaders are refined by the demands of the office, emerging as either strong statesmen or faltering figures." [Donald Trump, faltering figure]

Here’s the thing you need to let that happen when you take over as POTUS. Liking someone, because they refuse to be anything but themselves, as with Trump and his Trump cult, is not how the White House or our government work. That’s the road to authoritarianism in the demise of democracy and the loss of any version of the people’s voice in our government. I mention this because if we ended up with a Republican POTUS again, especially in 2024, as long as it’s not somebody like Trump or Vivek, who is a Trump sycophant. Or worse Trump, his own first criminal, vile self. If that elected Republican allows himself to be molded into the office and doesn’t just stick only to their desires and beliefs and agenda as a drug, as it is for the current Republican authoritarian electorate, then we have a chance as a country. If however, we just get another Trump moron, well, then we’re fucked.

So if a republican, other than Trump or Vivek, gets elected, I’m not gonna panic right away. It depends on if they evolve into a POTUS or just another authoritarian jackal, relying on toxic capitalism and their own desires of  self aggrandizement and wealth building.

Podcast: Vivek wants to make a deal with Putin to take part of Ukraine and make a deal to separate his military from China, and so on. Which presumes the Putin is a rational actor in such dealings when he is not. He is very rational, but in a toxic capitalistic, toxic East Orthodox Christian, corporate thinking way, to win at all costs regardless of what damage it does to anyone. Much like the Republican Party now. Win at all costs. It’s just not the answer. Not to mention that puts American in imperialistic position with another imperialistic country, Russia. Where we’re making deals with them about a third-party country we have no business making deals for. We have got to stop this agro bullshit around the world. Like China, moving into international ocean waters and claiming it for themselves. And so on.

Podcast is over so I switched to The Whistleblowers. Episode, The Call is Coming From Inside the White House. Actually, it’s the screams coming from inside the Republican Party and America, in that we cannot allow another Trump type as POTUS ever again. And that’s what this podcast is about. Two people who worked under Trump and finally couldn’t take what a criminal he was anymore, especially after Trump’s insurrection.

The Podcast is hosted by former DHS official turned anonymous whistleblower and “Blowback” author Miles Taylor the guy who was that Anonymous character inside the Trump White House. He hosts, White House communications director Stephanie Grisham and congressman Denver Riggleman were once darlings of the GOP

What is the problem with authoritarianism in “strongmen“, they can get things done on the turn of a dime. In government that’s always dangerous. People don't get that. I didn't get that years ago until it was explained to me.

While at times you need to act instantly as with natural disasters. Overall, the government needs to think things out. Carefully, completely, then evoke change. Review, revise, re-evoke. While non-authoritarian leaders and democracy is slower and messier, it’s that way for a reason. So more voices are heard and enabled and less bullshit is and less criminals are. While with criminal authoritarian types like Trump, it feels good to his electorate. Once in office, they were vastly dangerous to the nation, the government, our Covid response, information, actual information, correct information, updating as better comes out, dissemination to the public, and our democracy. and our citizenry.

Here’s the thing about democracy and why Republicans want to kill it. You speak up about what you like and don’t like and you vote for it and you may be protest for, or about it, or whatever. But you don’t overtake the government to force your beliefs into everyone else, especially when you’re minority, especially when you’re a toxic minority. OK MAGA?

Let me say this again, politicizing a pandemic is a level of idiocy that's unquantifiable

I'd just like to mention something about GPS. I’ve always been a power user on computers, a first adopter. I would learn software without the manuals, because I could acquire it for free. Back when I was poor, trying to break into IT work. Let’s not talk about that… And Paypal, I was one of the first adopters, as soon as I heard about it. Online banking, I’ve been doing that since I had my USAF check electronically transferred to my USAF credit union in the late 70s. Many feared the technology. When one time, no one got their paycheck on time, and it took a while because they all had it mailed to them, mine was in on time as usual. So I used GPS the first opportunity that came to me and it was more of a nightmare typically than not using it. Today, occasionally it goes wrong, but I’m finding that most of the time when I disagree with it, I’m wrong. And I’m happy to be, because that means it's far more functional.

Stephanie in the podcast nails it about what is the deal with Trump? Her attraction, as she says, wasn’t Trump as much as the audience who were really into things that Trump was doing. She found that intoxicating, apparently. And that’s the thing, because if MAGA looks at Trump, any human being would have to find him disgusting. But when you look at the element of FUN they are having because of him, that’s a whole other cult joy unto itself.

As she notes in the podcast, a very good podcast by the way, at some point she realized that the Trump campaign was a movement and he was going to win in 2016. I think I would say it was much like Bernie. What’s the difference between the two and why did Trump win? Because Bernie evokes the best of us and the best in us. While Trump evokes our dark side that never gets purchase or daylight, and as always, society pushes it down. But he releases that demon because he wants the freedom to be a criminal. And so he won. And that is his attraction. Foul as it is.

“Magical thinking was just the norm in this White House” referring to the Trump administration.

On why the stopped press briefings in the Trump administration. “Because he’s the most accessible president in history.“ Stepping back from that comment and looking at it rationally with a critical eye, it was because Trump's a narcissist, plain and simple... and a psychopath at that.

Reports by people who have been with Trump make him sound bipolar. But I don’t see how he could be that, because we’ve seen him so often that he would’ve been completely manic at some point. But it is very narcissistic, that way he is. My ex-wife was like that. We had an argument one time when I said that the world, life is shades of gray. She said, No, it’s not. It’s black and white. Which points out her binary thinking. I started to play chess in maybe sixth grade. I had to learn to think moves ahead. She had trouble with that, as narcissists do. (No, WE generally believe she's a narcissist, this isn't just an ex-husband's view, we've had 2 decades to evaluate, compare notes and discuss). They can only think in conditions of themselves. They play act, confusing you, to adjust you to supply them with what they want. But when it comes to the bigger picture, they get lost and angry. They’re either extremely happy to manipulate you into maintaining doing what they want from you or they're extremely angry with you to chastise you for not doing or being what they want, or need from you. At some point I realized I was living in hell. With our two kids. And Stephanie on the podcast, describes something similar in working closely with Trump. It's the Id, controlled, but running things.

Yay, I finished 5 miles for the day, that’s two walks in a row within three days after like a month or more, a couple months where I had a lot of no walking at all or very little. Ankle is holding up good now too, it’s just sore. Sweet.

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #63

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…August 22, 2023, Tuesday

Weather for the day… 59° starting out, 72° when I got home overcast

Podcast Janes podcast about North Korea
Then, when that was over, I switch to Pod Save America

Short YouTube "She sold her 'tears' "

I don’t have an Instagram post today but I do have an interesting post about AI now being used to generate conspiracy theories like we needed that bullshit

https://youtube.com/shorts/KAkHn9cJnEM?feature=share

Well, we’ve had a few days of unhealthy air, from the Canadian wildfires, I believe. The first night it really hit a few nights ago I went to sleep and woke up with a high blood pressure issue, took a half of Benadryl, which didn’t seem to help so I put on a Covid mask and it seemed to make issues better, so it might be from the air. Even though I have a HEPA air cleaner going and had set it on high and put it in my bedroom doorway. Woke up with mask still on feeling fine. Today air quality is very good. what’s interesting about this is the first night it felt like my immune system was acclimating to the bad air. And it makes you wonder if this morning with the air being better, if it doesn’t take my body a bit to readjust to not having to adjust. It feels like it needs to fight off something in my immune system. Where most of my life, other than with allergies, seasonal allergies, I had something similar but since long Covid magnifies everything, or certain things, that could all be what’s going on. When I was younger, my doctor had told me the problem I had with allergies was my immune system worked too well, too quickly, too much, and immediately over attacks allergens when they would crop up through the seasons. So if I take that explanation, in long Covid, that could explain what I’m dealing with.

Getting momentarily back to the entertainment industry, in this case, the academic companion book I’ve been working on...I'm now on the Joseph Maurice Ravel biography chapter in this companion to my documentary “Pvt. Ravel‘s Bolero“. I came up with the idea of extracting Ravel's biographical information from the texts of the film, then including that in the chapter. Which means I may be done with the chapter, or it’s first draft anyway. Now I just need to move on to a couple other chapters the AI suggested I include my book. A couple more overall drafts, then I can submit it and be done with it and move onto my next project. The next project being...and I have to clean and digitize our old family 8mm films going back to the 1940s. I’m not looking forward to the process but once I get used to doing the first one or two, I’ll probably do what I always do in getting into the swing of things and end up getting through it faster than I'd expected. I expect some very good results in this after having bought a $400 Wolverine machine to digitize movie film with. I got it like a year ago when the new model came out and still haven’t used it, but I’m ready to go.

"Threat = capability + intent."

That film “Pvt. Ravel’s Bolero”, just won another festival at the Druk International Film Festival for Best Experimental Film. I never know what to submit it as. Because I think it depends on the festival whether or not it would have a better chance of winning as experimental or documentary film category. So... you take your best guess... sometimes submit both. At times I’ve won both categories of a film festival. But having founded a film festival myself with Kelly Hughes, our "Gorst Underground Film Festival" here in Bremerton, Gorst being a suburban small town right next door, I have some understanding of how film festivals work. Just like with the Oscars, or anything else, you may deserve an award but if a more popular or better film is there that year, you don’t win. And it’s sad but that’s how it is. That’s why you enter multiple festivals. And maybe submit to the same festival again next season.

Why do good people support bad people? Why do some countries support Russia or North Korea now? Why do some people support Donald Trump? When these are obviously bad agents, it would seem that we are what we do. So are you actually good? If ignorance is no excuse in breaking the law, is that really any excuse in THIS kind of thing?

Interesting morning... when I woke up with a tachycardia issue. My heart was beating really fast and that’s not good. I lied there and concentrated on relaxing and calming down, my heartbeat went down to normal. This is something I’ve never had until I first acquired Covid in early February 2020. It didn’t really start until the last time though when I acquired Covid again in March 2022.

What exactly are we gonna do about imperialist Russia and imperialist China because you know it’s going to end up with imperialist North Korea. And if they do it, they’ll be yet  others.

I’m not walking much for a while now (weeks, a month?), and so my left ankle seems to be doing much better. It’s amazing how much simply applying heat and cold, especially heat, can do. Apparently you wanna apply cold to reduce swelling and then the heat helps the circulation and enhances the healing.

Podcast: Intelligence plus verification equals information. Verification means other reliable sources. In this case to factor in intelligence from those escaping North Korea is valuable, but one has to consider their biases.

HumInt (Human Intelligence "Spies") is either what a person wants to believe, or to message to others.

Here’s the problem with much of MAGA in their beliefs. They don’t vet or triangulate their information, certainly not properly, rationally, reasonably. I should say intelligence rather than information. But there’s very little of that involved. They’re much like the Christian who supports their beliefs by pointing to the Bible, and thinks that proves itself. They point within their bubble, as examples of how correct they are. But you can’t know something from one article. You have to read several, or many. But you have to read from ones not what you think as reliable sources, but from what actually ARE reliable sources. Used to be, you can go to conservative media and use them as a reliable source to at least counter or shifting to better accuracy, with what intelligence you have. But now it’s so full of disinformation and propaganda you can’t trust it. That being said, in the field of espionage and intelligence, you can very much read lies, and therein find truth. But it's a skill, most don't have. But think they do. Confused because they know they are smart people, they just haven't bee educated or trained in what they think they know how to do. Which isn’t to say those lies/liars you read offer truth, but that one can look among the wicket of lies and see what’s real. Or not.

For instance, years ago, I read a book by someone who was head of the KGB, had retired and left Russia. Then I read a book by a Japanese intelligence officer, and then I read a book by an MI6 officer. All of them had been at a meeting years before in Hong Kong (I think it was). What was interesting was the differences in what they saw at that meeting but more so, what was reported by all three describing the same exact thing. Things they agreed happened in their disparate views and ideologies. I’ve written about that at length elsewhere. You can take all that and accept that as something that did happen, and you can take the disparities, factor in their bias and positions, and coalesce all that into a statement of possible intelligence, but more so, information.

I look forward to an AI that can take a large amount of information, analyze it and summarize it. Or maybe that’s available to the public at this time. With the amount of information I’m referring to though, it isn’t as far as I know. Maybe it is if you installed it yourself like a friend of mine did who is in a similar IT field as I was, but he’s a little younger, and still working in it and he indeed came up with some pretty amazing things. Not however, in digesting vast sums of text. Yet.

Nice walk today. NO one is on the street. It is a Tuesday morning. Overcast. It was a little cool out, but now it’s warming up. Just a touch. Cool is nice and I’ve always enjoyed a brisk hike. In the mountains or anywhere. When it gets warm, it gets too warm, too easily. Still has been weeks since I had a good walk, and beside the fact, that this first 2 miles is kicking my ass, it feels great to get out and get some exercise! Bad weather is one thing, but bad air is an entirely an other monster.

I should probably recognize the horror going on in many places due to wildfires and especially in Hawaii. I’ve vacationed there twice, decades ago. Such a beautiful place. It saddens me to see it damaged and losing so much cultural heritage so quickly. Not to mention the loss of life and those who have lost everything, personally.

And my book is still in the little free library today.

If you want a free signed copy of my book one's at Lafayette Street in West Bremerton in Washington. Can’t guarantee it’ll be there by time I get this posted but... who knows?

Seriously, you just have to look up the reviews on Amazon for “Death of Heaven“ JZ Murdock. But then it's for the more advanced intense sci fi reader.

Starting mile three. So? 2 miles down, 3 to go? Or 3 miles to go, 2 down? I'll side with whenever makes you look the most hopeful in the moment toward getting it done..

I learned to use tricks in my life of dealing with ADHD. To trick myself into doing what I want, even though I consciously know I’m doing it...it does work. Or delayed gratification in holding off on a reward. What I want to do now, wait until after I’ve done something to do it. Sounds like something you do with a child. But let’s face it. What else is our Id? Than a child?

Can you do Socratic method by yourself? Yes. Can you stare at a blank wall learning something, answering a question by talking to yourself? Yes.

"The Socratic method (also known as method of Elenchus, elenctic method, or Socratic debate) is a form of argumentative dialogue between individuals, based on asking and answering questions.

"Aristotle 's philosophy involved both inductive and deductive reasoning. Aristotle's inductive-deductive method used inductions from observations to infer general principles, deductions from those principles to check against further observations, and more cycles of induction and deduction to continue the advance of knowledge."

Moving on...why have defectors from DKRP, that is North Korea, gone from almost 3000 a year a few years ago, to now under 100? Some of that had to do with Covid. But the numbers are already decreasing before Covid.

Took a steak out of the freezer yesterday. Time for a nice lunch with some steak and vegetables and wine. I miss the days of being able to have alcohol with meal, before meal, alcohol during and then after with dessert and finally after the meal. I think I’ve only done that once, and I was surprised how buzzed you get. While it was pretty standard operating procedure for the rich in the old, and certainly in Britain.

DKRP may be going into another famine. Which may be good for humanity, but not so good for a citizens of North Korea. It will make their government more conciliatory. But to whom and for how long? We need to break the ideological back of these people. DKRP. China. North Russia. We don’t need to break them as a country per se, but we need to get them to a position of wanting to work with the rest of humanity in humane ways and not just as authoritarians stuck in the past, where those at the top are most important. That being said, the west is going to need to Rethink how we do business internationally. Which we're already doing. Some. But we need to come up with a way for earth to come together. Soon. I’m not talking about a one world government which freaks the shit out of conservatives because they do so love fetishizing paranoia, which makes them so vulnerable to people like the GOP, and foolish criminals like Trump. But let’s face it, this SOP ain’t working.

The problem with government is an inevitably for them to come to see themselves as more important than the people, all so they can “protect the people.“ Authoritarian regimes are even worse because they’re kind of designed for that. The strongman leader seems palatable to some, especially in times they feel are of great need, or where they are made to believe they are in great need anyway. Forever demonizing “the other”. Conflating and inflating issues. It’s been the Republican playbook for years now. Especially when they’re trying to break our institutions of education or build education up in a way that supports their beliefs and denies American history.

When your national history gets to a point where learning about it makes you feel really good with no downsides, as our authoritarian Republicans want to do, as is exemplified in Florida by governor DeSantis, warning sirens should Blare because that easily sounds like a fictionalized version of history, for any country in the world.

Switching podcast now to Pod Save America. They have Republican strategist and The Bulkwark's Tim Miller on to talk about this week's Republican debate which Trump won’t show up at. Tim says he knows two or three Republican donors who also listen to Pod Save America.

One thing he said, or actually didn’t say, was that he agreed with what was said to him about it, that the persuadables who vote for Trump are going with other Republican losers this time around, who will be in the debate this week.

Tim said about those running against Trump on the Republican side, they’re just burning their money.

Damn, sometimes I do miss my Harley. (just walked by a bike, not a Harley). I got rid of it because of vision issues, with the kicker being, when my pretty much shot left ankle won’t let me shift gears. So that pretty much wrapped it up and I’m not gonna get a goddamn tricycle with an engine.

Tim Miller: Trump wants to be seen as the strong guy but he’s actually weak and screws over citizens in his business life.

Ron DeSantis... a beta male cuckk extraordinaire, yes with two k’s. Always thought that right wingnut term (cuck) was stupid. Did you know... ""Cuckservative" is a pejorative formed as a portmanteau of "cuck", an abbreviation of the word "cuckold", and the political designation "conservative"^] It has become a derogatory label used by white nationalists and the alt-right in the United States to denigrate other conservatives."

I know Trump's ability to sell MAGA on anything doesn’t seem like a big deal but it’s far worse than that and he’s convinced them that white is black and black is white and to be evermore binary in their thinking, to eliminate the "other" of the two elements of binary thinking, for whichever sides with Trump. And what that has done for the more difficult MAGA types is to turn black or white into a morass of gray in the sense that it equals chaos and... chaos is the icing on the authoritarian's cake. Trump loves it, Putin loves it. It's a messy, sloppy, easy way to sow discord amidst your enemies, but also your followers. To confuse and control them. 

OK I’ve made it to 4 1/2 miles. I was gonna quit at 4 because of my left ankle but decided to give it a shot. I think last time I tried this I got half a block turned around and came home ending that day with just over 4 miles. Once I make it a half mile out, I’m guaranteed that next half mile if I ever want to return home. So at 4 1/2 miles I’m guaranteed 5 miles plus completed for the day. And I feel good, in finally getting to that 5th mile. Even if I am limping a little on my left.

Campaign finance laws. We can’t fix that? Why are Florida campaign finance laws so nonexistent? We have so much to fix in our elections and none of it is the stuff that MAGA is bothered by. Doesn't make one wonder, because what's happening is so damn obvious. Or should be. And if it's not, time to become aware, I suppose.

Maybe we just need to make political propaganda in elections illegal.

I agree with Tim about Chris Christie. He’s a likable guy but a complete asshole for what he’s done in relation to Trump. All he’s done in tearing down other candidates in the past who ran against Trump is help Trump. And he well may do this Wednesday night again. Do the work for Trump in eliminating people on the debate platform, so Trump doesn’t have to deal with them. How does that help America against the guy who caused an insurrection and fomented a coup?

Tim just invoked the name of RFK Jr, as a massive loser, who still did better than Pence in a poll recently. All of these clowns are dangerous to America and our democracy.

Interesting the Rand corporation did a study on extremism which they've been studying for a while and looked at the ebb and flow of the different types domestically and internationally and they said that the hottest extremism is on the ebb. Just as left-wing extremism and bombings and such that happened in the 60s/70s was replaced by animal and ecological terrorism, but now it's right wing extremism overtaking Islamic terrorism and domestically growing right wing violence. What we're seeing, if I understand correctly, is a diffusion from those who would've gotten into drugs, joined gangs, or been criminals who instead are joining what seems to be more coherent to them, or more legitimate. Joining a militia, seeming more legitimate to them than joining a criminal gang, or being addicted to drugs, so better...political violence.

The good thing about that diffusion is that eventually they too will dissipate to be absorbed by society, and basically go away, obviously to be replaced by...God knows... something else. Hang in there!

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #62

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…August 18, 2023, Friday

Weather for the day… 59° starting out, 62° when I got home
Almost a bit chilly starting to walk today. Overcast maybe there’s a bit of moisture in the air cool it down water temperature so it feels cooler than it is.

Podcast "The Foundation official podcast" from the show S2E3 "Why the Gods Made Wine", finishing off an episode I started yesterday when I was working in my yard. Then S2E4, "In Seldon's Shadow".

This post is much more on Entertainment and the Arts than usual, on a path I have long wished to take...


We have little control over in our life beyond our epidermis layer of skin. Beyond that it’s just wishes and guesses. The further we get away from that outer layer of skin to apply our desires out into the world and onto others, ever increases the amount and degree of abuse we put out into the world. And here’s the kicker… We don’t really have that much control over the area under our outer layer of skin either, we just think we do. Then we get into determinism and fate...

So it’s been a few days since my last walkabout. Since my last walk, I’ve gotten the previous thoughts before that last walk posted yesterday and I think I’ve gained like three or five new international awards for my films since then. Just today my film "Pvt. Ravel‘s Bolero" is now a nominee in the Beyond the Curve festival. It’s always a lovely thing to wake up to.

I’m starting to submit my rewritten screenplay with producer Robert Mitis consulting on it, “The Teenage Bodyguard “, to festivals.

A week ago today or this evening anyway, my sister and her husband picked me up and drove us up north to our cousin's and attended, an event where she is a museum docent and they were throwing a wine tasting benefit. They held it outside in their lovely park grounds. I ran into my old neighbor and friend (who I joined Freemason’s with at his behest, over 10 years ago) and his wife. He made it to Senior Warden, and had to quit because of a new job. I worked my way up to Senior Warden, then had to quit because of family matters. I’m only just now making the connection. We both almost made it to the head guy in the lodge and then, had to leave. I have since moved to a different lodge area here in Bremerton, but have yet to pick up that path again. Still, it was a very fun wine tasting event though I only had hard alcohol from the vendor tables from different distilleries and vineyards and breweries available. We also got a tour of the mansion on their grounds and their museum. I mentioned this in part because, that was last Friday and I think on Wednesday our cousin notified us she tested positive for Covid. We all tested ourselves and we all came up negative. Although I did have some digestive problems this week, which I didn’t have through all my previous three years of Covid issues. I also had dizziness one night this week, which seem to be cured with an antihistamine at bed time. I've felt fine for a couple of days now. Covid can kiss my ass. Although I did waste at least a couple of years with it in which I’ve produced three books (2 fiction, 1 non-fiction on long covid), 2 films (a narrative flm noir and documentary) and have won many awards, so…

Also, since I mentioned it in previous walks, I think I had trouble even walking on my left ankle the last few times, definitely the last time. Since then I have iced and applied heat and some CBD salve and it’s feeling pretty good today.

On this podcast on Apple+, “The Foundation”. I loved reading the Foundation trilogy as a kid. I can’t remember when exactly but it was either the late 1960s or early 70s. So much has come from those books, written in the 40s and 50s, I believe. It’s given us so many things and so many things came from so many things. Star Wars being one. But I do like this rendition in this new series. I found after the first season and into the second, if you keep up, really helped to show me the things I’ve missed in the show and the things different from the books I read so many decades ago. I also hadn’t known until this past month that there were two other books Asimov wrote in the series. I may have known that before… but never knew he never finished the series. Which would now be a sextuplet I suppose. 

This may be the only show other than the "Westworld" series, or possibly "Game of Thrones" where I feel I need to re-watch episodes after watching a new episode. Those I was good with, but they were complicated. This series I feel like I really could benefit from re-watching each episode immediately after watching one. Listening to the podcast has really helped and I highly recommend it if you’re into the series, especially if you’ve read the books. Especially, if you’re into film productions.

To give you an idea of the esteem at which I held Isaac Asimov as a child and into my adulthood, my first published horror, sci-fi story as I’ve said before back in 1990 was “In Memory, Yet Crystal Clear“. The title of which was a tribute to Asimov’s first autobiography “In Memory Yet Green“. I didn’t tell them to follow religion then in that story, but I should’ve. I had previously read "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein. 

But in hindsight, now I look at my book “Death of heaven“ and I can see the same orientation towards religion from those two authors. As one reviewer on Amazon said of it… "Really great story. Interesting take on the view of our planet and the evolution of religion, without it being only about religion! And if you like gory stories, this one's for you!!!" I do not know that person. 

Religion is an organized system of belief. And once you create one, it immediately starts to devolve and dilute as it spreads through time and around the world. As with the Catholic religion that repeatedly splintered. But my book “Death of heaven” takes entirely another tact, and is a most deeply explored fiction book on the misunderstanding or misinterpretation of religious belief, perhaps ever written. And that’s not even braggadocio, but mere fact. Or at least I like to think so.

That book is written as if one were walking by something happening on the street and then the story is told about the path walked next to it, describing actuality as opposed to the delusional reality of that event on the roadside. Which is religion throughout the history of humankind. That’s why I would say my book is so epic in proportion. It does after all go from before the Earth was created until potentially, it’s ending, by the end of the book. And what happens then, I will leave up to the reader to discover. 

Any sequels I write to follow it, I’ve been considering for the decade or so since I wrote it. Just this past month I came up with the most viable sequel to this story. One I've long planned to dovetail with my screenplay about two demon hunting women, "Gray and Lover The Heart Tales Incident", with one of the greatest endings I've ever seen. Or written.

I’m not trying to be "more than", in saying this ("Firefly" reference). However, I’m starting to see a lot of structural parallels between The Foundation series in my book "Death of heaven". There are things like the unreliable narrator. Things like, who are these voices speaking around an entire planet and species? Plus the origin of this book comes from a previous book in the final novella in that book. That book being my first ever published collection of my older short stories, ending with a novella, as mentioned, “Anthology of Evil”. That novella is titled, “Andrew“, which begin as a short story. The first one I wrote for my Intro to Fiction class at Western Washington University towards my degree in Psychology and Phenomenology. I think perhaps it shows in that story. But it was my first experience in blowing away an entire room of writers, readers, and a writing professor. That story was on such another level from what we had been reading, as all of us were at the time, beginning writers. Although I would say I was probably a writer long being a reader on my way, when I wrote my first short story that I wrote within hours of finishing Frank Herbert's book, "Dune", in 1970, that I titled,“10 Steps to Shadow-Kandom”.
The story that my 10th grade mind came up with, after having read Asimov's "The Foundation" trilogy, and then "Dune", both regarding one youth’s shattered illusions in the path they were on. I belonged to a science fiction book club as a kid, then later while in the USAF.

It’s funny and ironic that 10 steps story I wrote as a 15-year-old was already exhibiting my questioning authority and the concept of shattered illusions. Which comes out again in my novella "Andrew" (in an odd sort of way), which evolved along with my one page short story “Perception“, into my epic, “Death of heaven".

Changing the subject drastically, sort of… Kelly Hughes and I, and put that “I“ out there rather gently, as I'm trying to stay in the background for these events, especially since long Covid… we are gearing up to our next iteration of the "Gorst Underground Film Festival" we started some years ago and which grew out of the small community of Gorst, Washington. Just on the edge of Bremerton. Kelly has acquired a small venue in Silverdale, the next town over, a hub for the area and the Navy and has grown into a shiny shopping center of sorts. There’s a small production studio on its outskirts in a business Park, all owned by the same family. Oh yeah, I forgot, Kelly asked me to watch a short film by the Laszlo‘s who were one of our supporters and would show up, have drinks, show their films at our monthly, late evening events at the historic Roxy theater here in town. They and their films were always a joy to behold. Those were our monthly “Slash Night“ events. Those were a lot of fun. Alas, Covid killed them. From those monthly events, we also got to see and know of the works of the Darkow brothers, Travis and Tyler. We’re still in touch with Tyler and enjoy his Facebook posts about his working on film productions, mostly as an actor now.

Speaking (yet again) of my book "Death of heaven", it is still in the free little library I just walked by...an orphan. Brand new book, never been read itself, and no one’s picking it up. I think the problem with that book has been its title and cover. It gives the wrong impression. Especially since the title has a lower case “H“ in the title for "heaven". Which started out as a cover artist mistake, since the book got reprinted with version two. So I just went with it. I thought he did it on purpose and he later said he didn’t even realize it but somehow it passed muster until it got onto Amazon. Then they started questioning it because you can’t have improper capitalization in a title. Well, fuck them for that. I’ve long put a lot of weight into my titles saying that a title can be half of the meaning of a story. And you have no right to screw with an artist's conception. Proper title grammatical form is the capitalized "H" in Heaven, as a place, or as a religious conception, or merely out of respect. And I leaned on that latter most in giving the word no respect. Why? Well, you have to read the book, so the title's indicating something and it's not just about the capitalization of the book, It indicates something that not just the book cover, as any kind of cover animative graphic. Not hyper realistic like book covers are today. It gives it a feeling of something it’s not. The cover artist, Marvin Hayes, said he thought it added to the breaking of rules in the book. Right, but I think for most people that’s not how they’re taking it. It’s not just something that draws their attention, but may repulse them somewhat. Say, if it’s sitting on a bookstore shelf. No offense intended to the artist, as I think it’s a pretty cool graphic. And it kind of shows the story in one single image, but it also gives people the wrong impression that it’s a book about angels, or something. It is not. There is one story about an angel in the book and that's a misperception by the protagonist in the story. While there are beings in the book that can be misperceived as gods. And their interactions with humanity, over the course of all of human life, from beginning to end (of the book and timeline), does lead to stories of a perhaps religious deity (deities) interacting with humans. While there is something entirely different going on. And that was the purpose in my mind of a lowercase in the word, "heaven".

I think the prime concept of "Death of heaven" is to be careful what you believe, you may be 100 percent incorrect. And here are examples of that.

There’s some great actors and work done on the Foundation show series. But I would like to mention one of the main characters who plays "Brother Day", Lee Pace. I first noticed him in the series, "Halt and Catch Fire" some years back, about the invention of the home PC. And then I see him in a few other things. I noticed him the other day in "Captain Marvel". He’s a big guy, and a great actor.

On the Foundation series, there’s some parallels between the Donald Trump administration's efforts, and MAGA. Foundation has individuals who have become somewhat unhinged, for a variety of reasons. Good reasons. Donald Trump and his administration are also unhinged. And now they are paying the price through the judicial system as they try to claim political divisiveness against those prosecuting them. Typical with criminals at large. Which is ridiculous in this case, because this entire process has been overtly purposely cut off from the political system and executive branch. It’s interesting how the characters in Foundation are unhinged yet people still follow their orders, just as we see with Donald Trump and his fascist autocratic movement of sheer and utter bullshit.

I need to check if my two version screenplay book on Amazon ever got approved because I never heard anything about it and it’s been plenty of time. My first two scream playbooks I got up there recently, were approved pretty quickly. So what the hell? [Update 8/19/23: OK it's up and online and...I just ordered a few, then I'll unpublish it, for now]

By end of 3rd mile I’m happy to know I can do a fourth, but my left hip's feeling something not... comfortable. Which reminds me of two of my good friends since high school. One I've known since I started college in 1980. Both of them having health problems now in our late 60s. I’m not so much myself, except for Covid. Although my knees and left ankle have been a problem since I was born, I think. First world problems? That is, industrialized  nation problems?

OK as much as I want to do a 5th mile today, I’m calling it a day. At least I got four done and at least I got out for a walk at all. I just don’t wanna overtax my left ankle. Although I would like to listen to more of this Foundation podcast, I have only this one and one more and then I’m caught up to the episodes I’m now watching weekly for season two.

It’s nice to know as from the beginning of these walkabout thought blog posts, I’ve been wanting to get more into entertainment, and out of politics. Which is hard because we’re in a politically insane, autocratic nutcase period in American history. And after all Trump's abuses, I look forward to his being abused by way of sentencing and punishment and prison. He's supposed to turn himself in to the police in Georgia next Wednesday, according to himself, then said he's pushing it to the last minute. What a putz. Just get it over with buffoon. According to that police official he will go through, the process every criminal goes through there he will. Seems fair (finally). To which I do so hope we hear what fat boy's actual weight is. Pushing 300lbs? One wonders if his vanity will kill him on that day.

Adding to what I was saying above about my first short story from 10th grade that I wrote, to my book, "Death of heaven" evolved from my novella "Andrew", which started out as a short story and turned into my Intro to Fiction at University, it's prime concept being one of disillusion, and then those I have to add to that, my first screenplay, written my last quarter at Western Washington University, which I titled “Ahriman“, is a sci-fi screenplay about a prince/prophet on a desert planet, unceremoniously and inadvertently transported to earth via a scientific experiment gone wrong. 

Funny how I keep impinging upon that concept. My story, “EarVu” is about an experiment gone wrong. My newer story “Quantum History“ is about kind of the same thing. Also, my latest fiction book which  began as a novella for that series, but grew into a book unto itself (because I was having so much fun writing it, and THAT is what you want to hear from an author), thus the novella intended for the sequel as, "Anthology of Evil II" evolved into book II with that second book becoming, "The Unwritten". I only refer to this because of the three universes in that book where one has suffered through their "Religious Wars" and then their "Science Wars", where in the end, Science wins out. Yeah, reminds me of earth and our religions there to replace science which was non existent until it was existent so religion could die out to be replaced by more sane considerations and yet, nope, still not happening. Well let's hope it doesn't mimic my book...

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #61

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts…
August 10, 2023, Thursday

Weather for the day… 66° starting out, 68° when I got home

Podcast Pod Save the World

Here’s one way AI could help us with interviews with MAGA types who want to be presidential candidates. Game out what they will say ahead of time and have those facts at hand and ready. Because one of the things Trump and those like him have had in their favor, is just saying ridiculous lies you can’t foresee, so no one has the facts to refute them on hand. Thus in an interview be able to counter them in real time. We need to start having these facts at our fingertips, and I would say, maybe, simply put them up on the screen so that person can’t continue to lie, and will move on. While viewers will see they were lying. Part of the problem in these interviews is their ludicrous lying and illogical contentions. They cannot be foreseen because they’re just grasping anything out of the air, at times. Because it’s all transactional, to look good in the moment. Then go tell the opposite lie to a different group, right after. Which is one of Trump's main propaganda efforts.

Chris Christie on Firing Line: "I think Trump took the documents so he could continue to pretend he's still president.

Bill Barr: "If you liked the Trump agenda, he's the last person you'd want to have execute it."

With the actual war in Ukraine, and this subversive domestic enemy's ultra right conservative Trump/ MAGA style internal attacks against our democracy, and America, we need asymmetrical actions more than reactions to these things in order to start winning and neutralizing these efforts against decency, reality and humanity

The issue with the satisfying catharsis of conspiracy theories in now being Force Multiplied, weaponized by right wing conspiracy theorists as an asymmetrical problem we need to deal with overtly and...covertly. All through history, conspiracy theorists have been weird little people often with mental or social issues, greatly (and lately) on the right, who have now inadvertently stumbled upon the power of their beliefs force multiplied towards their political agenda. This is becoming an arm of the Republican Party as with criminal organizations, where that kind of thing long ago became an arm of Russian intelligence, in the Russian government. 

The continuing parallels between the GOP and Russia for over 30 years now is staggering.

I should invite Joe to Pat and son Jack Moriarity’s September annual party. Jack’s a great musician and on the rise. Joe should network with him since he was after all, a student in his rock music school program.

The Public really needs to be educated that when you hear the right wing whining about how left-wing programs have globally and historically been anti-humane, as previously in communist and socialist countries (they being NOT America, by the way), in their being abusive to their citizens, in elevating their powerful and rich… it has to be understood that we’re so steeped in capitalism here, we really can’t see how toxic THAT methodology has been, and is now. And just how abused we’re currently being under that warped capitalistic paradigm. It's' not that capitalism is warped as it has BEEN warped on purpose. It also needs to be pointed out, as I have before, that those historical socialist and communist equations were not America and they did not have our US constitution (while we're now seeing through Trump's crimes how one man, one foul entity, can subvert our government into autocracy). So fear of "extremism" is valid, although many of those fearing left-wing extremism seem quite capable of quietly observing their own right wing extremism doing most of the damage, in trying to take down this country and destroy our democracy, to cause an insurrection, and well may do so again, while remaining silent and co-dependent if not enabling in their silence and at times, aid. Especially if Trump's elected again. Repeating... Especially if Trump's elected again. One of the stupidest fucking things I can think of right now, other than maybe supporting Putin, would be supporting Donald Trump or his previous and current enablers. That being the MAGA Republicans in Congress and sprinkled about our states as Governors, or AGs.

America is at a point where we need to initiate counter intelligence/counterinsurgency and counter-terrorist actions against one of our own domestic political parties. Yeah, that’s constitutionally kind of unconstitutional. But that’s where the right wing has placed us. Placed us knowing that they've situated themselves in a protected gray area. America just needs to wash her hair of these domestic enemies who infected our government and too much of our citizenry. Last I heard, 12 million Americans think an armed insurrection is reasonable. I would assume that’s within the MAGA personality cult of Trump. Which is ironic, since his personality is so obviously toxic, illiberal and vapidly stupid.

I was once on path to work in the field of espionage. Especially after I got my degree in psychology, I became very good at walking into a room and immediately scoping out questionable people. Back in the 80s a spec ops martial arts type said when you walk into a room, you can immediately recognize another "predator". He didn’t mean that in a bad way, but it can be recognized by someone so indoctrinated. Those trained in such skills recognize themselves more easily in others. Someone recognizing someone else also rotten to the core, even more easily. Like Donald Trump as he recognizes those he can bend to his criminal and illiberal will. I’ve never been in a room with Donald Trump but I suspect if I had been, my antenna would’ve gone up immediately. All through the 90s, when David Letterman would call Trump on his show, which led me later to watch "The Apprentice" (thanks for nothing Mark) and through most of that franchise, I had liked what Donald Trump was doing on the show. He seemed kind of cool. From a distance. It wasn’t till he started his "birtherism" crap against a black man, Barack Obama, when I started looking more into it and came to realize what a racist fuck Trump is, a bigot, and a narcissistic toxic personality. So when people started saying Trump's cool and bought into his saying to vote for him in 2016, I was in shock they couldn’t see what I was seeing by then. I would then immediately be attacked with claims of having "TDS" and how I just hated Trump so my beliefs were discounted. Which was supposed to neutralize any claim against his viability as a candidate, or a decent person. When I really never cared about what the hell his politics were, and never really listen to what they were, because I couldn’t get past what a poor example Trump was (is) as a candidate for POTUS.

Damn, I’ve had a hot/cold pack like 7“ x 15“ for maybe 15 years. I remember using it on my kids when they were younger. I’ve wondered for years since I usually fold it in half, when it would finally crack and give out. Yet it’s lasted an unbelievable time. I got my moneys worth out of it to be sure. Yesterday I was using it on my ankle and I noticed there was a sliminess to it, and found a corner was leaking. A corner, not a crack in the middle. So I found a new one for about 10 bucks. What a great deal overall (nope, smaller versions freeze solid).

I went back on antivirals yesterday, second time in a week because of long Covid. I’m feeling good today starting my 3rd mile but I don’t know if I can finish because I’m limping on my left ankle so bad. I can deal with the pain, but I want to heal and be done with. I think I might still have a small cold pack I can use until the new one arrives.

So I need to finish my last walkabout thought and post it from the other day. I need to get this one up but yesterday I finally finished my prologue to my double screenplay book on “The Teenage Bodyguard”. Which has my original version and my shorter rewritten version in better/proper screenplay format that I wrote with the consultation of producer, Robert Mitas. Took me a week to finish that prologue. So my next project's hard to finish, my academic and film companion book for "Pvt. Ravel‘s Bolero" film documentary. I’ve decided to continue on that and when I get bored with it, I’ll start on my next project which is cleaning and digitizing all my family's old home movies going back to the 1940s when my grandfather was in India. He traveled the world as a diesel engineer, working for the US military. I plan to do a documentary on him and I’m currently in the research stage. I need to do FOIA request to the US government. And then I have one other project I want to get started on.

So, apparently, China is finding left-wing activists in America who are friendly to China. Like "Project Pink" who is against the internment of Uighurs in China but are now somehow in support of the Chinese government? WTF?

To be clear, my position is, maybe let’s not have a war with China… or Russia. On the other hand, when I was a kid, my policy was let’s not have a war with the school bully who is abusing me. Interesting. I just said the word “bully “and speech to text translated it as “police “. Anyway, when I finally stood up to that bully, and I’ve done this a couple of times in my life as a kid, threatening to fight back and telling them that they could go ahead and beat the shit out of me, and I wasn’t gonna fight back. But they weren’t gonna get their way either. The latter of which I kind of don’t suggest we try against another international enemy. But I would also argue what we’re doing with China and Russia is not working very well either. We need to start acting in ways perhaps outside of the international relations, and historical political boxes to start doing things that actually do work, even if they seem a little questionable

I need to look up the relationship of herpes simplex and aspirin.

Regarding the Uighurs in China and their survivors who have reported things like physical abuse, rape, death… Yeah, I would argue Those things are bad and definitely human rights violations. Just because America has our own issues, what you could consider human rights violations, how does that mean we cannot speak out against others? Especially when they’re doing things that are far worse? For Republicans, esp., MAGA types...it doesn't.

If you want to compare China interning over 1 million Uighurs with all the abuse going on there, to any of America’s current human rights issues, you’re just being ridiculous.

If you’re going to try and compare what Putin’s doing in Ukraine, with what American did in Iraq, for instance...and I was against that before we even announced we were going to go into Iraq, back when I had warned that 9/11 was a punch in our American face, on our home turf, and we were going to have to punch somebody else in the face, even if they weren’t involved (this really worried me back then as, who would it be? Probably Iraq) and potentially against someone who was not involved… And that’s what we did. The Bush administration abused its intelligence community until they finally just fed back to them exactly what they wanted to hear, so they could go to war with Pres. George W Bush's dad's nemesis in Iraq. But you can’t conflate those two things then and now. You cannot compare Saddam Hussein to Volodymyr Zelenskyy, regardless of whatever fantasies Putin dreams up with his propaganda wing in his criminal Endeavors.

I’ve been for universal basic income for years. AI may very well force that into being. I started reading science fiction books in the early 60s and they talked about how technology would one day free "Man" up and yes, back then they said "man" and "mankind", but though I do think "humankind" is a better term, even though it still has "MAN" in it, so how much does that really matter? But yeah, I’m all for neutral terms and rectifying the tyranny of the patriarchy, etc., or toxic capitalism/industry or military industrial complex, or whatever. But this is why I keep saying that we were aware of what’s happening today, in people losing jobs to technology. We knew it was coming and did nothing to prepare for it. So who should we feel bad for? We should just stop feeling bad and rectify the situation and start fixing the issues. But the concept was that human kind of thing, beast of burden and one day they will be relieved of all that through technology. Then we can spend our time on the Arts and Humanities And space exploration, which includes time in two dimensional considerations (read your physics). And yet we see Republicans doing what? Doing their best to disrupt or destroy our educational and government systems. Defund the arts and humanities, whenever they get the opportunity. Distance themselves from paying taxes to allow things to be functional or paying for higher levels of being, such as...in the arts and humanities. Mental health has always been a poorly understood and poorly funded environment. And with all those things considered, you wonder how we became as insane as we are today, with one right wing party extremist beyond the point of idiocy.

So have you heard about "world coin"? A biometric cryptocurrency that requires proof of identity and that I guess, that you’re a human and not a bot. They sent these shiny metallic globes all over the world that you can look at and it’ll scan your iris. So, if you let them scan your iris, they’ll give you some crypto. This all sounds great, but you have to worry about who you’re giving your personal identifiers to. Somebody’s gonna have to be that entity. The government or a private company, or something else. And that’s scary to people. It shouldn’t be scary but it should be concerning. We have to stop this knee-jerk paranoia, scared of our own shadow shit and intelligently deal with it all. Be aware and proactive. Something America is really pretty bad about. Especially on the right wing of the crazy. There’s been a lot of deceptive marketing about this, offering iPods and all kinds of nonsense. They say they wanna do all this in coming to help poor people and not just make massive profits. OK. Well, I’m sure we all believe them…

So, I started on my 4th mile for today and my left ankle is shot. Therefore 3 miles for today. Dammit. But you got to take care of yourself and I've got to heal this ankle so I can get back to my 5 miles a day. I’d love to ride my bicycle, but, Bremerton’s kind of your higher level ride with so many hills. At least in the beginning, I just need to do like five or 6 miles on a flat. For a while. 

And the guys on the podcast both say they would rather trust the government for something like world coin to back a currency and I would argue to retain our personal information. Because if the governments not the best entity for that, like Winston Churchill said about democracy, it’s the best we’ve got, for now. And trusting private capitalistic entities or corporations is a good way to invest in toxic capitalism and self-abuse, essentially. And besides, if anyone has most of our personal information it's the government, because it’s our government (it's not our corporation, trust me) and we’ve set them up to do that over the entire history of this country. They both agree on the podcast that Sam Altman (not Sam Bankman Freed) is probably one of the better people who is suggesting world coin, but still, if we don’t build things with good checks and balances, we’re setting ourselves up for failure and abuse. We thought we had an American government worked out and then Donald Trump, and the Republican party show up and proved how easy it is to subvert all that and turn this country into an Autocracy. Which isn’t that big of a Leap from a kleptocracy I suppose.

Cheers! Sláinte!

Walkabout Thoughts #60

My thoughts, Stream of consciousness, rough and ready, while walking off long Covid and listening to podcasts… August 8, 2023, Tuesday

Weather for the day… 67° starting out, 71° when I got home

Podcast Smartless episode with Paul Giamatti
Then WTF with Marc Maron, episode "Show business is my life." Gary Mule Deer documentary

Look up OC & Stigs directed by Robert Altman

So it’s been a few days. My last walk was last Thursday. My long Covid book is in my son's health food store and he asked for more copies because it’s selling. So I thought I’d throw some Amazon ads up on it but  they rejected them because of capitalization issues that I cannot figure out what the hell they’re talking about. But my book death of heaven, which is a pretty good book if I do say so, the last reviewer said it's the "best horror book they ever read". Ignore the fact that though she was honest, and an avid reader, we were housemates back in the early 90s for nearly a year, in the U District area of Seattle Washington. My antiwar documentary short film, Pvt. Ravel‘s Bolero" is doing well and with the last two awards now has 22 international film festival awards, with more to come, hopefully. My screenplay "The Teenage Bodyguard" now has three international awards. Aside from having long Covid, which is continuing to diminish in half life stages, which makes you feel like it’s never gonna go away as it’s now been over a year, I’m otherwise having a pretty good year, artistically speaking. I’m also feeling what you hear people say about being an overnight sensations, when famous people who get that...their response, is yeah, I did this all really fast overnight after like 20 years of working at it hard and feeling utterly hopeless. Well not to worry, I'm no overnight success, yet, if ever...

So with today’s walk, I’m having problems with the muscles in my left arch, it’s been tender to step on lately, so I used hot and cold on it last night. It’s a lot better but still kind of tender. Still I’m out walking on it hobbling along. I want my damn 5 miles. It’s been a while. Think I only got in 3 miles last Thursday which just ain’t acceptable

SmartLess guys are asking Paul Giamatti, since he did cartoons at Yale towards the end there, as well as acting towards the end, what his goto doodle is. I had some in high school. If I go back and look at my old papers I tend to see stars everywhere, which at some point, when my kids were young, would’ve been considered... I don’t know, pentagrams or something. I think my crazy ex-wife said about my my oldest son, not her son but stepson, when he was drawing "pentagrams" weren’t pentagrams. She thought he was gonna grow up and be a serial killer. He was a problem kid (ADHD, broken family and pissed about it, as I was as a kid) I don’t think we were much unalike. But then having had trouble with his mother and his stepmother, thanks to me. Sorry kid. Never my intention. She thought he was into, I don’t know? Devil worship? I said, what the fuck? I said when I was a kid I drew those, too. They’re just fun and easy to draw without thinking. A kind of Zen thing. Anyway, I also liked to draw spaceships, little simple doodles, but the main one I did was a snake head with octopus legs. I have no idea where I got that from it was just fun to draw, and I did it all the time, again and again.

Jason is asking Paul about his movies because it feels to him like everything has been and has been really prestigious. In an odd way that reminds me of having pets. All my life people have commented on my pets as being uniquely cool pets. And for years, I just assumed I was lucky but I picked them well, which is true, but I finally came to realize, when I had a friend I thought was a very cool person, who went to the same thing where they said people always said their pets were cool. I thought they were pretty chill too, and I said "Hey maybe it’s not so much our pets as it's us? Because pets do take on, you know, certain characteristics from their owners." So maybe some of the films Paul is in are seen in hindsight as prestigious, are in part that way because of him. He would probably say, maybe, in some small way. But depending on the talent and crew you associate with, the screenplay, you accept working with directors, and other actors, in those  you work with who you're asked by or you’re attracted to, maybe it’s somewhat his choices, so in the end, the movies came off as very good films. Wow, that was a convoluted sentence or two...

You know, I realized a week or two ago that I’ve had a really productive phase recently. I think these "walkabout thought" blogs have helped because I felt I needed to get them out (transcribe, sort of edit and publish). A couple weeks back, I spent three days getting caught up and that was a chore, working all day every day for a few days... on something. But it’s interesting that before Covid I had done a couple of films and mostly had finished my latest "Pvt. Ravel’s Bolero" documentary/filmic poem done, then took on the effort during long Covid and getting it out to film festivals, which took a lot of effort for me at the time. Then since I did that, I have gotten out 2 books, sequels to "Anthology of Evil", my first collection of short stories. Then since I didn’t have any new movies as I was submitting my last two films to festivals, I started submitting my screenplays. I guess my true crime screenplay is finally ready because it started winning awards, while just a few years ago it wasn’t winning anything. It’s just a matter of spending years if you have to. to keep fine-tuning your craft and good things will come of it.

Paul saying, while his film "Sideways" kind of killed the Merlot industry for a bit, he’s really not a wine drinker and didn’t know anything about it. He prefers Mezcal. The guys (Smartless) started talking about Jason when he was younger, driving around with a candle lit on his dashboard. The things we do when we’re young like that. The only thing I can think of for myself was that I used to wear leather driving gloves. This was when I had my 1967 RS/SS Camaro convertible which two years later would it be called a Z28. I didn’t really wear the gloves to be cool, although it may have evolved into that. I actually wore them for functional reasons because I was a street racer. I kept losing drags in my Camaro because it had a 350 stock engine, and I kept coming up against "built" engines. I was far better at any kind of a rally thing, as I was really good at driving a course. Or zipping through town and finding, or losing somebody. Which came in handy in the Air Force when I lost a cop once. I knew he was going to give me a ticket for speeding as I happened to zip by him hidden on a side street. This is in my "The Teenage Bodyguard" screenplay. I was in a 1975 Monza Town Coupe of all things. I whipped around the block and came back up behind him. Going downhill to a stoplight. Pulled up behind him at the light. I saw him looking both ways for me. Where did he go? He turned left and I turned right. I started wearing those driving gloves long before that, because when I was going fast around corners and straightening out the wheel would whip around straight it could hurt. Also, my hands would slip sometimes when I spun the wheel to go around a corner (this started in my first Camaro), and I found that wearing gloves really stuck to the steering wheel, as well as protecting my hands and skin. So I kept wearing them for a while after I wasn’t doing that kind of crazy shit anymore. And then I think I went in the Air Force and I don’t know if I started wearing them again when I got my second '75 Rally Sport Camaro. I traded in the Monza in about '77? A whole different kind of animal, not a rally car but could do 140 on the freeway and it just hummed along after you hit 100MPH. When I got that Camaro I stripped all the California gear off the engine with a kid I worked with on base in the parachute shop and put an Edelbrock manifold and Holly 650 "double pumper" and glass pack mufflers & headers on it.

So they’re asking Paul for acting "horror stories". He couldn’t think of any, and they asked, what about forgetting your lines? And he said, No not really. But then he came up with a story about Seattle when he lived here. Which reminded me of, let’s see, my second or third grade doing a school play. I was on stage with my best friend, Jimmy Snowberger (or Jimmy Snow), believe it or not two, of my friends, it always blew me away about their names. One moved away and was replaced by the other, oddly enough. We were doing this play about two prospectors eating dinner in the wild. I’m standing, he's kneeling down by the fake fire. I ask if he wants me to clean the plates. He says, No three Rivers will take care of it. I asked, three rivers? And he says, Yeah. Here three rivers, here three rivers. And a dog is supposed to come over and lick the plates clean. Right in the middle of this really short play? I said my line while looking down at him. And I see him hesitate. I think I see him freeze. He looked up at me, blank. And I would’ve given him his line, but stupidly, I said, don’t you dare. I said it slow and stern. Do not walk off the stage and leave me here alone! Which apparently gave him the idea. Because I look up and see the teacher in the wings. He turns around and sees her. He looks back at me. Then he just stands up and walks to her. Leaving me standing there, sideways to the audience. I look out of the audience, of a whole auditorium of parents staring at me. I  looked over at him off stage, as if to indicate to the audience that it’s him, not me. I can see him talking to the teacher. Finally he comes back kneels down, says his line and we finish the play to big applause. I never got on stage again, for years. Until eighth grade at Holy Rosary parochial school when they forced me to be in the school choir for Christmas. I refused at first. My eighth grade class had a thousand year old Nun and leader of the Convent there and our principal. So I sung in the Christmas choir. Mom got a kick out of it anyway. Interesting to note that I never again wanted to do acting. I actually took theater 101 at University because I want to learn about theater and I didn’t see anything indicated about having to act. First day, our Yale Masters grad theater teacher tells us we'd have to get up and act out who we are, on stage without speaking. Almost every guy in the place got up and walked out of the theater. I just sat there squirming. He then had us count off by threes to go up by groups. Then at some point I'd had enough and got up and walked out. That was just after he said about the guys leaving, that that was good, and part of his plan. That weeded out the guys who didn’t need to be there. As I stood and started to walk out, I looked around and it seems like every girl in there was really good looking. As I walked away, there was a groaning of disappointment by the entire class. I wasn’t too bad looking back then and I kind of stood out on campus. I’ve always wondered, had I known the girls were gonna react like that would I have stayed? If I could’ve just gotten over that few moments on stage acting like a fool, how would things have gone from there? You know, the problem wasn’t so much getting on stage, as it was that I really had no clue what to do. Probably few others did too. And I had a phobia to doing things when I totally don’t know what I’m doing, or if I know that I’m gonna do a bad job for lack of whatever it takes to do it. I always want to do well. While I used to be a bit of a perfectionist, it rattled my nerves so bad at the time but I eventually got over it. The Air Force had helped some. College certainly helped. Getting a degree in psychology and having to take group therapy for a quarter helped (I rebelled about taking "group", but was told, then you don't graduate, so...). But there it is. Then in the early 90s I got a head shot join taken at a talent agency in Seattle, the Mode Talent Agency, and then sent me out for auditions. But there were some internal problems at the agency and they fired two women who worked there, and they seemed less professional and never called me back, that was the end of that.

OK I’ve now walked 2 1/2 miles and I’m limping pretty good on my left ankle, so 3 miles is it for the day today, again. Dammit! Well headed home now. I’ll ice it down and heat it up. Keep doing that all day, put some more CBD oil on it like I did last night.

Paul has a pretty interesting story about being on stage in a small theater in Seattle when somebody out of the audience gets up on stage with him, and kind of disrupts everything. He can tell it better than I would

Now they’re talking on the podcast about, Will having to get a colonoscopy this week or the week of this recording. And they’re talking about what they’ve gone through and things like that. I may have mentioned this before, but in 10th grade I had to have surgery on my left arch. I have really flat feet and somehow still got in the Air Force. But when I came out of surgery and was awake again, the nurse came in from surgery and said everything went well. Your doctor will be in to talk to you and I've got to say, you had all of us laughing all the way through surgery. And I said what? I said, I remember that you told me to count backwards from 100 and I remember getting to 96. She said, oh you were really talkative. I said, well what did I say? She said, don’t worry about it. I said. no I really want to know what the hell I said? She said, honey what happens or is said in surgery stays in surgery. And she would not tell me, which worried me even more. I mean a 15-year-old guy doesn’t wanna feel exposed that he said some embarrassing shit when he doesn’t have a clue what he was saying. You know? Oh well, no closure on that event.

What if she had told me everything I said, and I wrote it down and worked on it and created a standup routine and became a comic out of it? Maybe I would’ve gotten over my fear of being on stage sooner? Who knows?

OK since it’s funny beyond the joke that they tell on the podcast… Jason tells a joke, which apparently the guys have heard 30 times already and he gets it wrong every time, but he’s telling Paul that  aDr. walks into an operating room, patient's laying there. Doctor says, OK Jerry, this time no hard-on. The patient says, Dr. my name is Kevin. And the doctor says, no, I’m Jerry. I preferred the way Jason told it. It was succinct to the point had a punch but the guys are still ribbon him about it, mostly because he’s done it wrong so many times before.

So I’ll be honest about this. I put my book "death of heaven" in the free little library here on the street. And I don’t know, the third or fourth time I’ve done this over the past few years. The longest it’s gone without somebody taking it, I think was a week. Seems to me it’s been here now like going on three weeks. Still sitting there, homeless, but happy for the shelter, but it's wishing somebody would take it home and read it. I liked my last review on Amazon saying it’s the "best horror story I’ve ever read", and they’ve read a lot of horror stories. I say that because I know who posted that. And no, they would tell the truth if they thought it sucks, they're just that kind of person.

Cheers! Sláinte!