It reminded me of an argument I had in 10th grade in high school with my English Composition teacher who noticed I was using the British spelling of words in my compositions. I really liked her. She was a great teacher. I think I became one of her favourites.
I explained to her that I read a lot of older writings and British authors and as well, I believed that the words had more, shall we say flavour, when pronounced with a Brit spelling. Less terse, more rounded and full. More, artistic. More entertaining.
I stuck to my guns.
At first, she was confused by this kid and his editorial reasoning. Then she realized my what my orientation was in my standing firm and in sharing with her my reasoning.
She looked at me for a moment, then said, "Well, I will still have to mark you down a point if you continue to do that. I mean, we are in America after all, not England."
I thought about it for a moment and then looked at her and said, "Sure, I understand. That sucks. But it's a writer's prerogative in how to present their writings in form and substance. It's my literary license, right? Even if I have to suffer for it."
She gave me an odd look and then it changed across her face. I can only think it was a look mixed with confusion, compassion and in the end, a little respect.
She later tried to get me onto the school newspaper because, in her view, I had a talent for writing.
I know it came across as being too full of myself, but really it was just sheer terror when I asked if they paid. She laughed and said, "No, of course not. It's a high school newspaper. But I think you would do well on it and you would be a good addition to the staff."
I then said, "Well I have a job at night at a drive-in theater. So unless they pay, no thank you."
I was terribly intimidated by the consideration of being an actual writer, believing I had no skill (well I knew I had more than most in the class but couldn't accept it). As I saw it, a real "writer" was some kind of creative God or something. That...could never be me. Yeah, I had some self-esteem issues.
As bullies hide their cowardice in aggression and invoking fear in others, I hid my issues by affecting indifference and perhaps, unintentionally, superiority in talent. It would be many years before I deserved that kind of rating... or respect. But I did finally arrive at what was once only hope and desire. It took many years of hard work and practice, and in fighting off repeated disenchantment and failure.
To be fair, I had been reading the best authors in human history since fifth grade when I discovered the library some blocks from home. It was the only place I was allowed to go, so my mother knew she wouldn't be getting a phone call that I had gotten into one kind of trouble or another.
My mother taught me to always find the best possible teachers you can find for anything.
So, I always had the best teachers she could find. Be that in Martial Arts (fifth grade onward), firearms (jr high onwards), flying airplanes (junior high onwards), emergency services and search and rescue (junior high onwards, which I got myself into ... Civil Air Patrol, when every adult around me tried to talk me out of it), SCUBA diving (10th grade onwards, well I found that myself), skydiving (at 17 and onward), and so on.
In reflection, to be sure...I was a fool. And perhaps a coward as that decision delayed my writing career until after the military and into my first year of college when a prof cornered me and nailed me to the wall and... convinced me. Finally giving me license and permission to be what I'd always dreamed of being... a writer.
Follow your dreams!
Don't be intimidated by those who came before you.
And certainly not by or because of yourself and your fears.
You may never be one of one of those great authors in history. But you may one day be that very person to others, who so desperately need you.
Like the old adage says, "Be the best you can be!" In whatever form it may take because of who YOU are and not who others were.
Let posterity take care of the rest.
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