Monday, July 17, 2017

A Woman's What?

This was posted recently with the obvious desire for comment. You know sometimes there are subjects you never ever want to get involved in, but then something comes up where you just have to say something. Especially on topics where people are standing up for some people's rights while abusing other's in the process.

This just felt like one of those times. I'm not anti alternative lifestyle, or anti gender anything. Since I do accept others for who they are in what their actions are, I really do not care about certain aspects of their world as it pertains to me. I'll treat you decently. But if you push your racism in my face, I don't really want to hear it. Or your gender issues (for or against). Just be a person around me and try not to complicate our relationship. Yes, it may get to that point where it's addressed. But feel that out and deal with it at the right time and place.

I have a comment.

A woman's penis? Look, a penis is a penis. Male gender has penis. Let's not over complicate things. And I say that with love. Yes, a woman can have a penis. Yes it's a complicated subject. But one that some revel in the complexity of and the specialness of being in that realm.

You know there was a time when some aspects of sexuality just weren't public. After all some mystery in life isn't so bad. I say that tongue in cheek, but there is some veracity to it.

This whole gender business has become pretty messed up and confused. For both (and all?) sides. And not just in that arena, but in many in the country today. Especially in politics.

As in this case in the post, it may be considered a "woman's penis" the owner But to the straight participant it is not, and it is homosexual behavior for him to participate and it shouldn't otherwise be pushed on HIM as such. It is by definition a homosexual act too for the owner, but not in today's PC climate where one gets to decide what one is regardless of the reality of the physicality of the individual who apparently can simply choose whatever they are. Seriously?

 Look.... I get it. Some people have a sexuality that is very complicated and some have one that is effectively screwed up. It is however also unfair to expect others to buy into your reality without accepting some responsibility for how the world is. You don't live in a bubble, but if you want to, do not expect others to. Just accept that, have a good sense of humor about it and go on with your life.

Don't let others affect you and bring you down. Go out and be fabulous, or awesome, or whatever. Because you are if you want to be. But we have been expecting too much of others too much of the time of late. And no I'm not saying Neo Nazis should be able to be assholes. I'm saying that there are limits and boundaries even to being politically correct. But how many genders do we really need when we start with two. By one count, 63 I hear now. Really?

My point isn't that there aren't 63 (or however many) genders. It's that it's not within many people's realm of importance. And that's okay, too. I get that it may be important to you. But trust me, there are things very important to me that no one else seems to care about. I just deal with it and move on. Though admittedly I do get rather passionate about it at time. But that's on me, not you. Still, I get over it and move on and try not to bother others too much about it. Except in the appropriate environments and situations.

Recently Washington DC and Oregon have decided to add an "X" along with an "M" for male and "F" for female to their driver's licenses. A move that is getting praise by many who have desired such a thing. I think this is a good idea. And it supports my point here.

We do have to be careful about not having a common understanding of reality however. That's what standard schooling was originally all about. I've always been a proponent of diversity but of late I've found a downside to it.

Whenever we go out of our house, we walk into a social contract with the rest of humanity.

Social contract:
An implicit agreement among the members of a society to cooperate for social benefits, for example by sacrificing some individual freedom for state protection. Theories of a social contract became popular in the 16th, 17th, and 18th centuries among theorists such as Thomas Hobbes, John Locke, and Jean-Jacques Rousseau, as a means of explaining the origin of government and the obligations of subjects.

A social contract is also about interpersonal levels of comfort. In part what all this talk about one's selected gender is, is a way for that individual to have a desired level of comfort. However, it has come at the expense of other's comfort levels. Not quite fair now, is it.

What that means is we don't go outside a reasonable degree of comfort, especially for those we do not know or have just met. We don't overtly come onto, especially someone you don't know or want to be hit on by;  we don't act racist toward others; we don't share too much personal or private information.

That is also how it used to be about religion. We kept our religion to ourself. But now it's being shoved into our public and political spectrums when this country was based upon keeping religion separate form the State. Usually it's being forced into political issues for all the wrong reasons. It makes it harder for us to see one another as equal, when one is always pushing how special they are by way of their actions.

And that is the thing. TMI, too much information, has almost become a way to say hello anymore. It's really kind of weird and usually not very desirable to many people. Except for those with a need to feel different or special or to over share. Our self esteem and priorities have gotten confused and convoluted and that needs to change. And it is, and has. At some point however, we need to regroup from time to time as to continue on can become defective for all involved.

It's good we're more aware of OUR subgroups. Because these are all OUR subgroups. I know moany theists or conservatives would disagree about trans people or gays being a party of their subgroups. This is America. Deal with it. But do we really need to find even more ways to make interacting even more complicated than it already is? Many are already overwhelmed. If they need to understand those out of norm people's needs, they too need to understand those of the larger group.

I don't care what or who you claim you are. Go with it, have fun. Feel normal, whatever. But to push others to accept your form of reality, of a norm, outside of a certain realm, is not only unfair and ludicrous, it can be mean and no, I'm not talking about reverse racists type of points of view.

All this while we hear not accepting other's reality for their personal beliefs and way of life are being treated unfairly by people who don't even know what they are talking about. After all, life is complicated enough without further complicating it. Yes, I keep saying that. Complicating it to reality is one thing, but into obscurity is kind of just wasting all of our time.

You be you. I fully support that. I also don't have to accept what you believe or you what I believe, I just have to treat you in a civil manner and accept you as an equal, for the most part. Just don't expect everyone to understand everything.

Be gracious enough to be you and not feel the need to share too much personal information with others especially in some cases, certainly with those whom you do not know and will never see again. I honestly don't care what gender you are. I don't care what race you are. Why is that even an issue? If I can't tell by looking at you, that's my problem? Obviously, and you know it, it's your problem. So don't bring it up. Have a thick enough skin to let it go in polite conversation.

Telling me as soon as we meet what you have devised and selected as your "gender" is kind of over the top and more info than is needed and it only puts people ill at ease and over complicates the social interaction. If we're going to have a long term relationship of work or whatever, then it may be appropriate. And it may not.

That is on you for either choosing to be or simply in being as fate has devised you, as who you are. I'm who I am. I don't expect anyone to care or bother about it. And they don't. But then I'm perhaps lucky in being male and heterosexual. Pretty uncomplicated reality in its complexity.

The problem here is we've confused several things in our becoming more aware of various elements of reality and the universe and we have learned how to further and further confuse things through desire and belief.

Partly out of a desire for people to not have their feelings hurt, to simply accept oneself rather than put in the work to better deal with reality. Yes, there are exceptions to that rule, no doubt about it. But we are seeing this bleed into other areas where that really is not the case. Who should judge? Good question.

As I said, it's also ebbed into our politics further obfuscating things (typically on purpose) and well, just how is that treating ya?

It's like it is with some obese individuals. It's far easier to accept one is fat, rather than to do the emotional, educational, physical work and make the possibly massive life changes to lose weight and thus potentially better your end of life years as well as your overall general health situation. As well as you're reality, today, and that of others.

Losing weight can also (usually does) require a change in lifestyle which many are unable or more typically simply not willing to do or even consider and so, they do suffer emotionally. Yes, it's better to accept you're fat and be happy rather than drive yourself into sickness over body shaming... or suicide even. But it's also better to work to deal with reality and change things for the better rather than shoot for shortcuts just because it's easier.

We have confused making someone accept themselves as they are in order to be happy until they get to a healthy point where they can then deal with their issues and do the work necessary to really get to where they wish to be (we kind of just decided it's easier to simply forget the latter hard part).

Yes, some should just accept it and go on and be happy with themselves. some have those situations where that is the wise thing to do, the smart path to choose. Many, many others however should really just do the work, put in the effort and drastically change their lifestyle. But they see these others and hear people chanting to accept thyself and viola, that becomes their mantra, the new reality. It's much easier. And it's instant after all.

Not to mention the of millions of pounds of fat nationally and how it affects our domestic economy as well as the wear and tear on our infrastructure. But that is after all, another issue.

As are drugs from a psychiatrist. One takes drugs to stabilize, to get to a place where they are functional enough to do the actual work required to achieve a healthy mind and personalty, and life. We seem to have much too often just stopped at the "just take the drugs" initial stage. Our follow through has decreased more and more over the years.

When what is really needed is a change in life, or in doing other work that isn't all that easy. Maybe a massive change in life that most aren't willing or cannot (or think they cannot) do. Just keep popping a pill. Done. Move on. Cuz surely, that never goes wrong. Just ignore the suicides caused by many anti anxiety drugs.

The answer really isn't better living through chemicals. Well, cannabis and alcohol in proper doses and well spaced out enough at times actually can aide in enhancing the quality of one's life. Until they don't if and when abused. Being Americans, we overdo everything and think if some is good, more is always better. It's not. That takes no thought. Finding balance is hard and we tend to reject that outright.

The psychiatric drugs are only ever really meant to help people finally be able to address and deal with their actual issues, to do the hard work, to get down to the business of actually healing and building a better mindset. And again too often the answer is to drastically change one's lifestyle. To dump the girlfriend, to divorce the husband, to quit the job or simply to move forever away from one's friends and family. Yes, sometimes that TOO can simply be the answer. But people would prefer to do drugs and stay in their toxic situations.

Yes some people do need to be on drugs forever. Always exceptions to the rule. That however does not neutralize the rule as some like to immediately think just because they threw up some (at times, potentially untrue) anecdote.

Some people do have gland problems with their weight issue. But those are not the norm, not the large numbers we're seeing who would claim such a situation. Most people are not "big boned" or have a "gland problem". They just have a lifestyle that leads them to binge eat, or stress eat, or not exercise, or whatever. Or again, they may be trapped in a need for a massive life style change.

And so we have these ridiculous exchanges as we see in the snapshot above.

As we see the rise and fall of such groups and beliefs as are exemplified with ISIS around the world, of late in the Philippines, one has to wonder, just how is it different in its fundamental emotional components and affect in satiation?

Is mass delusion running rampant across the planet? Just in different forms and degrees? Isn't our right wing more or less delusional in many ways? People are listening to shows like InfoWars. Even Fox News has some assigned blame for what is going on. As do Congressional conservative Republicans and certainly our oh so questionable president.

Is this all a normal function in life that it is happening at this time, or is it caused by something else? A conscious element or external force? Theists love to talk about intelligent design. Is that what we're seeing? Or is this just another pendulum effect swinging wide due to our more evolved, if not more technological society? Is this just what happens ever so many years and nothing is new or different, just the technology and weaponry?

Yes, people are indeed odd. Different. Unique even. But also very much the same. I usually celebrate th7all at. But really now, come on, let's call a bullshitter a bullshitter when they raise their lovely necks onto the chopping block of social discourse.

As for a woman's whatever to paraphrase the president, we all need to seek our bliss and I celebrate and support that. But let's have some reasonable boundaries and accept that others are not always responsible for who we are as unique individuals.

Or surely, I could just be 100% wrong.

Yeah, that's probably it. I'm just absolutely incorrect.

Cuz after all, that's just a lot easier....

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