I can remember things from as far back as 18 months old. My mother confirmed the details when I asked her about those memories years later. That fact has always fascinated me, because not everyone can reach so far back. Some people remember very little from childhood. Why?
One thing I noticed between my older sister and I were that our lifestyles were different. She was a career flight attendant flying the world, always busy. While I had jobs, certainly early on, with a lot of time for reflection. I remember a lot, and I'm known for that in my family, about our history we lived. My sister doesn't. She was very social, I wasn't.
Childhood Amnesia and Early Recall
Most people experience childhood amnesia: the natural fading of memories from before about age three or four. The brain simply isn’t fully equipped yet — the hippocampus and language centers are still maturing, which makes it hard to encode life events into long-term, retrievable stories.
And yet, exceptions exist. A few people keep hold of flashes from that early period. What makes those memories last?
What Keeps a Memory Alive
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Repetition and Validation
Memories are strengthened when they’re revisited. Telling the story, thinking about it, or having someone confirm it (“yes, you used to do that!”) keeps the neural pathway alive. -
Emotional Salience
Strong emotions — joy as much as fear — act like glue. A happy, secure family moment can stick just as firmly as a traumatic one. -
Attention and Detail
Some brains simply notice more. Sensory impressions, spatial layouts, smells, and textures get encoded with greater depth. Those details give a memory “handles” to be retrieved later. -
Narrative Fit
If a memory helps explain “who I am” or “how I came to be this way,” the mind holds onto it. We don’t just remember; we curate the story of ourselves.
ADHD and Memory Differences
I live with ADHD, as does my adult son. That shapes how memory works. ADHD brains often have what I think of as “spotlight memory”: ordinary things slip away, but vivid, emotionally charged moments stay sharp — sometimes for decades.
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Working memory (keeping track of tasks, time, sequences) is often weaker in ADHD. That can make everyday life feel scattered.
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Long-term emotional memory can be unusually strong, because novelty and intensity light up dopamine pathways that reinforce recall.
For me, this means I struggled in structured school settings, but I can recall things from before I was even two years old. Later in life — in the military, in university — once the structure and meaning aligned, I thrived.
Memory as a Living Process
Memory isn’t a fixed record. It’s a living process. We keep some memories alive by revisiting them, and we let others fade by not calling on them. Sometimes we even suppress memories to protect ourselves. Trauma can fragment or erase early recollections. Busy daily life can crowd out the past.
That’s why some people remember almost nothing of their childhood while others can tell you what the wallpaper looked like before they turned two. It’s not simply about what happened — it’s about how the brain decided to keep, alter, or discard the story.
✨ Takeaway:
Memory is less like a storage box and more like a garden. Some seeds sprout early, some are reinforced by revisiting, some are choked by weeds, and some are deliberately pruned away. The result is a landscape unique to each of us.
Cheers! Sláinte! Na zdravie!
Compiled with aid of ChatGPT
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