Some news stories make you pause and think, “This has to be The Onion.”
And then you remember: it’s 2025, and The Onion can’t compete with reality anymore.
The latest? A Donald Trump–Vladimir Putin summit… in Alaska.
Yes, Alaska. Land of caribou, glaciers, and, apparently, potential war crime perp walks.
Would Trump arrest Putin?
Of course not—he’s spent years signaling admiration for strongmen, despots, and even accused war criminals, framing them as “smart” or “savvy” rather than dangerous. But the unsettling truth is that Trump has shattered reality and defied expectations so many times that nothing can be entirely ruled out.
This is a man who has upended decades of diplomatic norms, twisted alliances into personal transactions, and recast international crises as opportunities for self-promotion. While the odds of him genuinely turning on Putin are slim, the fact that we even entertain the possibility speaks volumes about how far he’s already dragged the boundaries of the possible.
But, that being said that he would NEVER do that...
The Arrest Question Nobody Thought We’d Seriously Ask
Putin has an International Criminal Court (ICC) arrest warrant hanging over him like a bad Bond villain plotline. Normally, that would mean: if he steps into an ICC member country, he gets arrested and shipped to The Hague.
Problem: The United States is not an ICC member. In fact, we’ve spent decades dodging that whole “international accountability” thing like it’s spam email. We even have laws protecting our citizens (and certain friends) from ICC prosecution.
Under any sane administration, the “arrest Putin” conversation would last about 15 seconds before someone said, “Yeah, no.”
But Then… Trump
Donald Trump is not famous for following scripts—unless they’re his own, and even then, the teleprompter is optional.
Would he arrest Putin? Legally, no obligation. Politically, it’s nuclear.
But strategically? In the Trump playbook, chaos equals opportunity.
Imagine the headlines:
“Trump Stuns World, Delivers Putin to The Hague.”
“Russia Furious; MAGA Hats With ICC Logo Sell Out in Hours.”
In Trump’s mind, that’s not betrayal—it’s “3D chess.” Never mind that arresting a sitting head of state from a non-ICC country would shred head-of-state immunity and risk an act-of-war label. He could frame it as a “special justice mission,” sell commemorative gold coins, and bask in the coverage.
Diplomatic Norms? Cute.
For over two centuries, America’s foreign policy has been wrapped in at least the appearance of consistency, law, and respect for international frameworks.
Trump’s foreign policy? It’s performance art meets reality TV. He’s the guy who could lure Putin to Alaska for “coffee and a chat” and then decide—mid-meeting—that the ratings would be better if the U.S. Marshals made a cameo.
Is it insane? Yes. Is it impossible? Not in this timeline.
Why This Even Feels Plausible
The fact we can ask this question without immediately bursting into laughter is the real warning sign. It’s proof that presidential norms, once made of steel, are now more like wet cardboard.
America’s foreign policy shouldn’t hinge on the unpredictable whims of one man’s ego or poll numbers. But here we are, seriously gaming out whether the former/current/future president might try to detain the leader of Russia in Alaska.
Final Thought
If the summit ends with a polite handshake and joint press conference, we’ll breathe a sigh of relief. But if it ends with Putin in handcuffs, a private jet to The Hague, and Trump live-streaming the whole thing on Truth Social?
But if he did? He’d cast himself as the hero he’s always longed to be, even if it meant betraying his deep-seated admiration for autocrats and some of the worst figures in human history—an act so wildly out of character it would send shockwaves through both his allies and enemies, leaving the world to wonder if it was justice, opportunism, or just another reality show twist.
Honestly… in 2025, I wouldn’t bet against it.
Compiled with aid of Google Gemini & ChatGPT 5
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