The Carefully Redacted, Nothing-to-See-Here Act: Trump’s Idea of Transparency

Speaker Mike Johnson, little Trump troll that he is, skipped town a day early—releasing his House, to dodge any real action on the Trump/Epstein scandal. 

At this point, they’re not even bothering to hide their collusion or complicity with Trump’s crimes.

If we were being honest, Trump’s “One Big Beautiful Bill” would’ve been titled something like:

“The Screw Poor People and Make the Rich Richer Act”, or

“The Kick Millions Off Medicaid So a Billionaire Can Buy Another Yacht Act.”

Democrats, working within House rules, managed to strip the nonsense from the title. The official version became the dry-but-serious:

“An Act to Provide for Reconciliation Pursuant to Title II of H. Con. Res. 14.”

But when they inevitably push a bill to “release” the Epstein files, brace yourself. It’ll probably come with one of these more accurate names:

“The Carefully Redacted, Nothing-to-See-Here Act”

“The Protect My Friends, Bury the Truth Act”

“The Clinton (or Obama—whichever polls better) Diversion Act”

“The Everyone But Me Transparency Act”

Because let’s be real—Trump loves grand promises: releasing all the JFK files, draining the swamp, fixing everything in “two weeks.” Or, "I'm dying!", or something. Classic Harvey Weinstein. "Yes, I raped a lot of women but, I don't feel good! Pity ME!"

And yet, what we always get are selective releases, convenient omissions, and weaponized distractions—never the full truth, and certainly never accountability for him or his cronies.

Be A King @BerniceKing

"Now, do the Epstein files."

When (if) an “Epstein Files Release Bill” ever comes from Trump mini me congressionals, expect a flashy title, a hollow core, and a shield big enough to cover him and all his friends—unless by then they’ve likely turned on him politically (if not legally):

• "The Total Truth Transparency Act" -   (Spoiler: Includes 97% blacked-out pages)
• "The Full Epstein Disclosure Act – The Greatest Ever!" -   (Just don’t ask what’s missing)
• "The Clean House Act" -   (Actually just sweeping dirt under the rug)
• "The Clinton Crime File Release Act" -   (Carefully avoids pages with Trump’s name)
• "The Truth for Patriots Act" -   (Because truth only applies to Democrats, apparently)
• "The Justice for Victims Act" -   (With zero mention of the actual perpetrators he knew)
• "The Drain the Swamp: Epstein Edition" -   (Crocodiles exempt. Especially Mar-a-Lago ones.)
• "The Big, Bold, and Beautiful Unsealing Act" -   (Unseals a few harmless pages from 2003. Nothing else.)
• "The I Never Met the Guy But Here's a Bill Anyway Act"

So when the next “Big Beautiful” anything rolls out of Trump’s camp—whether it's a bill, a promise, or a performative outrage about Epstein—don’t be fooled by the branding. Behind every glossy, distraction-laden title is the same old playbook: protect the powerful, punish the vulnerable, and sell it all as patriotism. Congress may have fled the building, but the consequences of their cowardice are still sitting in the chamber, quietly rotting what’s left of accountability in American democracy.

Compiled with aid of ChatGPT