I Had Far Too Much to Dream That Night...

The other day I woke in a rather interesting dream. I say "in" and not "from" for a reason. I admit, it was kind of fun. Though some wouldn't have seen it that way at all. I am a horror and sci fi, and speculative fiction writer and screenwriter.

But this tale, is 100% true. It happened. And it was disturbing.

Also true is that since I first studied screenwriting at university, by the time I graduated my dreams had changed, had become much more cohesive, more linear, more interesting and much more affecting. At times scarier, and definitely with more impact.

This recent dream was reinforced by a couple of things from the night before. One being a sinus headache, so my grounding, in reality, was, pain. I've found that pain really enhances a nightmare. It was probably from a bit of a hangover in having had a good time and a few Hale's Supergoose ales at Bremerton's Hale's Barrelhouse up the street from home with some friends.

My other thing was immobility, sleep paralysis. A normal function of sleep. Unless you wake up during it. Which has terrified human beings from the beginning of time, and has led to beliefs in all kinds of bizarre things. Including religious beliefs. Demonic beliefs. And fears in a variety of areas.

Over Bremerton by JZ Murdock

It became all mixed up. I was dreaming, I was sleeping, I was waking. It was actually time for me to wake up. But not in the dream. Where it was the middle or early part of my sleep period. I was in bed too, in that dream, Where I was thinking in my dream about ethereal monsters in my attic. I was thinking I was dreaming, and dreaming I was thinking, in my dream. Yeah. Like that.

There was a feeling of others in the dream house being fearful of whatever it was in the attic. As for me, I was concerned about it, but wasn't afraid enough to not go to sleep. Though deep down, there was a kind of terror in my psyche, about it.

The dream was also continuing in some form from a previous dream, and I think some of the set up in my mind was being generated in the moment as this dream, or part of this dream, kicked into play. I know, this wasn't your normal dream. Or maybe it's just me in general. And I will not argue with you about that.

Above my bed was a ceiling light of a type where there is a dark space around the actual light. I felt I could see up into the attic when usually these are set in cylinders that seal off the room from the attic. In reality, I was lying in my bed in my dream, staring at that dark spot around the turned off light, expecting to see something move, something...horrific. I did not, however, see that. Not at all.

I then realized something took hold of my entire body as I was frozen in place, unable to move. In my slowly waking mind, juxtaposed with this dream, this nightmare, quite on the edge of a night terror, I could recognize that I was most likely waking up and in that frozen stage of sleep which is the thing of fear and mythology, as I said previously, throughout human history.

photo by JZ Murdock

I was teetering on the edge of dream and reality. Ruminating on that very same thing, within the dream state. The hope being that this was just that, a dream on the edge of waking.

Yet deep down I had this fear of the "monster in the attic". The Demon. The Terror.

I told myself, "This is a dream. Of course, you can't move because it is a natural condition of a stage of sleep. Nothing to worry about. Enjoy the ride!"

Still, deeper inside? There was the child within me. Bordering on terror. I could "see" a monster watching me from the attic, in my mind's eye. But I leaned into the fear. Then back out into reality.

Still, I could not move.

Then it happened. The fear I had been pushing down, a fear that something would happen to shift my safety out of reality, from it being "just a dream", to it being real and solid so that I was wrong, and this was not just a dream. Not by any means.

The hole and the light above me... shifted. As if in a cartoon, the light fixture, the access hole to the attic, with the terror beyond living beyond it, moved, smoothly, slowly, along the ceiling,

I noticed a sound, seemingly drifting down, coming from the attic above the ceiling. It sounded like a mosquito. A very large mosquito. A buzzing. But lower, slower as it moved across the ceiling.

As it started at the center of the ceiling, it had moved to the wall. It then began to slide down the wall. I could see it. But still, I could not move. I tried to shift my shoulders. But nothing happened.

I was grinning inside, somewhere. Thinking to myself, about what a roller coaster ride this nightmare was turning into. But also at a more primal state within, I was considering, "what if this wasn't a dream after all?"

What if, I may actually about to be attacked? Killed? Or worse?

I waited for the hole to stop sliding down the wall. What else could I do? I knew absolutely, that when it stopped, something was going to be coming out of that hole. Somehow. If it could do this unreal behavior, surely something large and terrible could come out of that tiny orifice?

The closer the hole got to the center of the side wall next to the bed, the more the immediacy of my need to escape became. I started to struggle, to force control of my body to return. I went through this for what seemed like forever. Struggling for control. Freezing for a moment, watching that cursed moving hole. Then struggling again.

I thought, if or when the hole stopped, surely nothing would happen. It was, after all, "just a dream." My entire belief system shifted then, knowing that once that hole stopped, that it was POSSIBLE, quite possible that I would be indeed be attacked! Maimed! Killed! Or worse! I contemplated what could be worse....

Then I relaxed. I tried to force my belief that I was safe, mere in a dream. But the possibility of being wrong leaped up into my throat and grabbed me!

Did I really want to take that risk? Chance that this was just "a silly thing"? Flashbacks to others within the dream's pre-dream, those unknowns who were so terrified of the reality of what was in the attic and my own proof now that they were correct and it would be my miserable demise. A heavyweight of fear filled the room, crushing me in my bed, in my mind.

Graphic from The Unwritten novella, by JZ Murdock

Finally, I just went for it. Moving side to side, I tried to lift my arms, from the shoulders, using my body as my arms were immobile. I kept it up until I could move. I broke through the other side...I opened my eyes and...I was surprised to find the ceiling light above me. In reality. But it was an entirely different kind of light fixture, proving quite clearly that it had all been, just a dream.

I lie there for a few moments. Internally grinning at myself. At my foolishness. Telling myself, "See? All along you fool? It was... just a dream."

What a way to wake up, to start my day. What could possibly go wrong, or worse, than that? Through the entirety of this bright new day? I thought this through the relief of reality and the pain of my sinus headache. A throbbing I did not mind much as it helped me to wake, to distance myself from what had seemed so very real. Even as it seemed such a nightmare.

And my next thought? That I should write this experience up.

And so, here we are.

Hi! I hope you have a great and pleasant day!

Cheers! I'm so very happy to be here, now.

#horror #dream #nightmare #nightterror #macabre #sleep #sleepparalysis #fiction #murder #monster #EAPoe #Poe #unReality