Thursday, May 30, 2024

Walkabout Thoughts #79

Thoughts & Stream of Consciousness, rough and ready, from an award-winning filmmaker and author you’ve never heard of, while walking off long Covid, and listening to podcasts…
 
Weather for the day… starting out, 56°. It was 52° when I returned home under dark clouds, sprinkling rain and threatening much more, and after only walking a mere 2 miles. I was ready for 5.. Alas, the weather had another idea in mind...

Podcast today: WTF? with Marc Maron Episode 1542 - Molly Ringwald

So this is cool!

My book, “Death of heaven” is a May 2024 American Legacy Book Awards Finalist!
I can’t seem to get past finalist position on this book in contests. I think I have three more award contests that I’m in this year. So there’s still some hope. They’re all in the fall though, of 2024. It’s funny or ironic. From the beginning, people had trouble pigeonholing or categorizing my writing. I thought that was cool. Nope, not so much. My artist brother ran into that too. If you're too creative, it makes it hard for people to monetize you and take you on. Best to say to paint only flowers or butterflies or something, he said.


Which I find laudable. Being diverse, and multi-talented. I tried to learn how to write literally every kind of writing to better my favored style(s). But I think it’s hurt me in some ways. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to consider that I might be the kind of writer who dies and then somebody goes, "Oh, this book is good. Why didn’t it ever get anywhere?"

Yeah, exactly. Lots of talented people out there who never get anywhere for not having a strong sense of business or someone to help them with that. If not for Van Gogh's brother, or more so his brother's wife after he died, no one would know who he is. Everybody who reads my writings really seems to like them a lot. 

And no, they're not just being polite. I've won awards after all, it's not just my imagination or the politeness of others. I'm also not just full of myself. It's not ego, it's awareness. I despise touting my works or skills. I've always found distasteful, job interviews. Selling oneself to a stranger. But that is the industry of the arts and the goal is to pay one's way, or at least, to see one's efforts observed and hopefully enjoyed by as many others as possible.

"A good man knows his limitation." But also their quality, accurately. It's taken me many years to realize I'm the only one who will push my work out there until I can get an agent or manager. It was miserable at first. I still find it distasteful. But, one is a professional, or forever an amateur. Cheers!

Ah, well...I'd be good with that, fame after death if my kids benefit from it all.

I sent that book off to a publisher in Europe once and they said they liked it but as a first-time writer at that time, they didn’t want to take a chance. I thought that's what publishers did. Which I thought was kind of offensive. This is the same thing I go through with my screenplays. It just takes getting one produced and turning a profit. I’ve gotten as far as an actual Hollywood producer being interested, but then again I always seem to fall into that between-genres kind of thing.

You can go on Amazon and read reviews of my book "Death of heaven" [yes, "h" not "H", there's a long story about why that is] and make up your own mind. Yes, it’ll be a book you read like you’ve never read before. And it's massive and spans eons from before the Earth was created until perhaps, its end. It's a book you can read more than once and get more from it the second time around. It's a book that offers more insight if you read my first published book, "Anthology of Evil" in reading the ending novella, "Andrew" from whence "Death of heaven" evolved out from. And another short story, "Perception", about the first human ever to look up into the heavens and realize, however incorrectly that they were the center of the universe.

This reminds me of my other book, my last fiction published which Anthology of Evil 2 which is (obviously) a sequel to the original. I split that sequel two into two volumes. Volume one is short stories. Volume two was a novella that grew into a book I titled “The Unwritten.“ It’s a good story. Weird, but good. Three universes, one ending. Try writing that! Anyway, I really like the ending and the two angels debating, so much, so very much...

But whatever…

Molly Ringwald on Marc's podcast has been kind of an eye-opener. I loved John Hughes' films. By that time I was out of the Service and had graduated from university. I think I was working at Tower Video, when I really got to know the John Hughes' films, in the 80s. I saw "Sixteen Candles" and although I knew a lot of people who loved it...and I had seen "Breakfast Club" and I did love that movie. I just couldn’t bget into 16 Candles and I found Molly Ringwald really annoying. 

I thought she did good and was great in "Breakfast Club". I mean I thought everybody did great in 16 candles. Even though she wanted Robert Downey Jr. rather than John Cryer. I just didn’t like the film. And while I thought she was miscast, I guess I was wrong. I say all that because now on this podcast and hearing her experience and history, I am impressed and somewhat blown away. I watched her in the Capote series. I’ve always loved his writing. I read "In Cold Blood" in maybe 11th grade in 1971 or '72.

My interesting story about that book was... I can’t remember if it was a literature class in high school or an independent reading class... but one way or another I read “In Cold Blood“ and I was completely blown away by the story, topic, and writing. That next semester I had another class that required reading "In Cold Blood". I outright refused. I said I just read that book and I can’t just read it again. It was too intense. I am into intense. But that book being nonfiction just left me wanting to take a shower on the inside of my mind. Not to mention Capote’s obvious attraction to the protagonist or his antihero, to the point that he was there when he was hung and his description left one, confused? Certainly, it left this 15-year-old at the time confused.

My teacher was very understanding and he said, "OK pick a book of a similar kind of subject matter and length." So I chose “The Godfather “. Surprised to find it was also pretty intense. That book blew me away. But being fiction, I found it much more enjoyable. Or at least more palatable. Don't get me wrong. Both books were amazing.

The Trump criminal trial now has the jury deliberating. I will just be glad when this is over and I do hope they convict him. Enough of this denial from MAGA and Trump which he’ll continue to do, to deny until he dies. Which we can all hope is soon. America needs a break from all this lying and crime and authoritarian bullshit

I just saw that Dennis Quaid, long a favorite actor of mine just said in an interview that Trump was his guy. Good grief, dude. Really? How depressing.

So I mentioned in my last few "walkabout thoughts" that when I start my walks lately, there’s a tightness in my chest, which got down the last time to fading within the first quarter mile or so. Not noticing it at all today!

Back to the podcast and Molly… She’s talking about a film she did with someone. Jean Luc Goddard? She said she thinks it’s the most beautiful film she’s acted in (King Lear, 1986). It’s interesting hearing her talk about the experience. I’ll have to watch that movie now. I’ve been a fan of his movies and other auteurs from Europe since I was a kid. I always thought it was interesting how I was watching great European films by some of the best directors in film history on PBS in the 1960s, while my parents and everyone else I knew didn't have a clue about those films.

Molly says she’s written three or four pieces for The New Yorker magazine. I never even got a rejection slip from them. So color me impressed. And she never went to college.

She says she’s married to a writer-editor now of fiction and nonfiction and they share everything and edit each other. I think I made a huge mistake. I was married 3.5 times as I like to say, and not one of them was supportive of my writing. God how life could’ve been different perhaps, had I married a writer? Maybe?

My last year at university, when my girlfriend and I (we lived together), had both gone for psychology degrees. In our third year, maybe the beginning of our fourth, I was concentrating on phenomenology, as was she. Then she decided she was going to shift to be an existentialist. All the existentialists I knew in college used that philosophy as a way to rationalize having affairs on their partners. 

Our relationship ended with her having an affair the year after we graduated. So…to be fair, I remember saying before we graduated that if we were ever to break up it would take one of us hurting the other so badly that the relationship never could be mended. Long story.

In my final year I decided I could get a second degree but I would need extra classes so I just went for a minor in creative writing. My intro to Fiction class professor said at the end of the class (I was one of two top students in that class), I needed help with dialogue (I hated writing dialog) in my stories. He sent me to the theatre department for playwriting. What an eye-opener that was! The Theatre department is NOT the Psychology department, by a long shot. But as one of my classmates said in hearing I was from "Miller Hall" (the psych building): "We're the people you study over there, aren't we..." We laughed. I'd said, "Kind of, maybe. But I like it here. A lot."

From playwriting and I was chosen for year year-long team script and screenwriting class series. And I guess, just as I got disturbed with my girlfriend changing over to existentialism, she got disturbed with my moving from the field of psychology for screenwriting. I didn't abandon it, I just added writing to it.

I had a couple guys over from scriptwriting (we seemed to focus on team tv show writing), one night to brainstorm. When she got home she was really gruff and the guys left pretty quickly. Which I’ll never understand as she left me that next year. So I wasn't allowed to have new friends?

One of those friends, Mike Rainey and Dave Skubinna. Those two together with a few other friends on Bainbridge Island started the Annex Theatre. Which is still producing plays in Seattle.

After we graduated, I used up my last remaining money's worth of VA educational benefits to do the summer quarter and leave the university with a finished screenplay under my belt. My girlfriend moved back home, got a job, and found us a house. When the summer quarter was over, I moved back to Tacoma with her.

In response to Molly, talking about having a family and kids, one has to have a job and hustle. I think that’s the thing. I’ve hustled hard all my life. I’m done with that. I don’t mind hard work. I’m just sick to death of having to constantly sell myself. To convince every new person that I'm more than they think I can be. 

I have proved that throughout my life. You get settled in, think you're done with that, and then you find you're doing it all over again. What was really annoying was at a company, when they changed managers, especially when they came in from outside the company, even if you’re very highly thought of, they have to learn that first hand about you. Eventually, their opinion matures but you still have to get through their orientation period and it's just kind of annoying after a lifetime of it. I think that’s why I retired younger than I had meant to...nuts, it's starting to rain…

They’re both talking on the podcast about writing stories that are true life, about things that you’ve lived through and how others you include in the story, especially if you name them, can react to it. How no matter how light it is or funny it may seem, or how it may put those others in a good light, even if you're seen in a bad light, those people may well still want to control their own narrative. Or as Molly put it, their own mythology

I find this interesting and relevant because whenever I write something about my past, I throw it into a folder on my hard drive called "autobio" under my "non-fiction" writings area. Every time I’ve tried to write that book, I’ve felt like I've led too many lives with weird interesting stuff that turns it into writing a series of books. So how do you choose maybe one incident out of each life led?

I had considered each chapter titled for a whole decade. So the "1950s", which is only five years for me. And so on. But I don’t know, maybe one of these days it’ll go click and I’ll figure it out and whip it out into a book. Throw it out into the public. See what happens.

Well, that’s it. 2 miles today and the weather has turned against me

On that note, I’ll bid you adieu…

And I’ll leave you with that. And it’s nearly noon and time for lunch.

As always, I wish you all, all the greatest success and good health!
Just put in the time and effort for those successes.
Until next time!

Cheers! Sláinte!

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